Chapter Eight.

To be Weak.

"Gojou-sensei, I'm getting tired!" Yuuji huffs, on his 200th push up of the day. Though it didn't seem like much, you had to consider he currently had the 6'3 man sitting on his back.

"Last time you did 250. I'm sure you can push for 300—"

Ding.

"Is it Asami-sensei?!" Yuuji quickly turns his head around, desperately trying to peek at Gojou's phone. Ever since Gojou announced that she was on vacation, Yuuji had constantly been eager to hear from her, ready to go back to her apartment for Gojou's was indeed ...very boring. Not to mention, Gojou's miso soup … 3/10! On Yuuji's scale that is because if anyone else tasted it, they'd definitely give it an 11. Yuuji just had personal bias.

Hiding his phone from sight, Gojou nods his head no, "Just a spam text. Come on, back to training Yuuji-kun," he taps his head, Yuuji sighing in response.

"Well if she—" he exhales a deep breath, plunging down for his push-up, "does text you—" he comes back up, "Can you tell her I said hi?"

Gojou awkwardly smiles, "Sure thing," he says, pointing to the ground, "Keep going," he signals, changing the topic as quickly as he could, Yuuji now finding his behavior odd as a single question runs through his mind…

'Since when does Gojou-sensei not want to talk about Asami?'

"Where's Asami-sensei?" Megumi lifts a brow at the sight of a certain white haired sorcerer entering the classroom, confused as to why it wasn't red hair that he was seeing.

"She's on a mission overseas," Gojou responds with, his famous smile unwavering, behind it being a man who knew he was lying.

"Oh…" Nobara raises a brow, "When will she be back?"

'Never' is what his mind answers, "Um.. I wanna say maybe three to four weeks? It's a bit of a…" he pauses, "hefty mission…."

"And we're expected to take those in the future right? Well it better it be in some country—"

Megumi tunes out Nobara's rambles, focusing on his long time sensei's appearance. Something was off about him. He may have had Nobara fooled, but something was bothering Gojou and it obviously had to do with Asami.

"What country?" Megumi interrupts Nobara, eyes narrowed at his sensei.

But Gojou, someone who was quick to pick up on people's suspicions of him, was an even better liar, "Russia, looking for a cursed object that the higher ups thought was completely destroyed, but it's there alright," he plasters on a fake smile, managing to convince the dark-haired boy, "So for the while that I look for a substitute, I will be your health teacher!" Gojou enthusiastically announces, giving his student a thumbs up along with a sparkly wink.

Their faces fall, "Well hopefully she's back soon," Nobara crosses her arms, not looking forward to Gojou's antics for the next couple of weeks. Asami was the right balance of not too strict and not too carefree, her kind personality being one of her more favorable traits despite her occasional bluntness making it sometimes seem otherwise.

"Yeah me too," Gojou says, silently gulping to himself as he remembered Asami's parting letter.

1 Week Earlier.

"How's Asami-sensei enjoying her vacation?"

"Do you think Asami-sensei will bring us any souvenirs?"

"So when is Asami-sensei coming back?"

"Any word on Asami-sensei?"

"Asami-sensei…"

"Soon Yuuji, soon…" Gojou answers Yuuji's questions for what felt like the hundredth time this week.

Sighing, Gojou places a hand on his temple. He understood the boy's concern, for Gojou (unbeknownst to Yuuji) was also worried about Asamis' whereabouts, he just couldn't outright admit it, for he had already spewed out the lie that she was on vacation.

"So Italy huh? I could see the appeal, I've always wanted to go to Venice..."

'Italy?' Gojou thinks. Oh right, that was the random country he had thought of in the moment when Yuuji had kept asking about her whereabouts, remembering how Asami always did want to vacation there.

And as Yuuji continued to ramble on about future vacation spots, all Gojo could focus on was his phone, waiting to see the contact name "Asamiiiiii" followed by several pink hearts to pop up on his screen. He'd been texting her practically non-stop for the past week, asking her for some kind of update on how she was and if she was finally ready to talk about everything.

Truthfully, he assumed she was still cooped up in her apartment probably moping around all day, the only reason he lied to Yuuji being because he knew if he told him she was home, Yuuji would try and convince him to go and visit. And knowing himself, it would not take much convincing for him to go banging on her door and teleport himself inside.

"Boundaries," is what he'd tell himself, constantly reminding himself that no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't just barge in whenever he felt like it. Especially not now while she was still in such a … fragile... state.

Secretly he wished he could be in Yuuji's shoes for a day, able to outwardly ask and talk about his concerns for Asami, but sadly he couldn't. For he was Gojo Satoru, the tall white haired man who for the most part was someone you could always find in a cheerful mood, never really emotional as one would call it and usually keeping his inner turmoils to himself.

All he needed to hear from Asami was that she was "fine", that she was home and was going to come back soon. Because if he didn't then he was sure he'd go insane soon, for Yuuji's constant questioning only made him more nervous.

[9:00PM] Asamiiiiii

[9:05PM] Come on, I know you see my texts :/

[9:10PM] If you need anything, you let me know!

[9:30PM] Asami :/

[10:00PM] Asami I just need to know that you're doing okay ….

[10:01PM] Yuuji's been nagging all week for an update, he seems pretty worried and well I am too…

[10:02PM] Even a "." will suffice

Sighing, Gojou softly throws his phone beside himself, running a hand through his hair out of frustration. Yuuji was now asleep, and though Gojou didn't have to hear any more of his constant questions, the concerns he had for his ex-girlfriend were still very overwhelming.

"Boundaries," he whispers to himself, "Boundaries."

Suddenly getting up from bed, he huffs, "Fuck this," to himself, now scowling.

[10:05PM] I'm going to your apartment whether you like it or not, okay Asami? I need to know you're doing okay.

Placing his phone into his back pocket, Gojou grabs a random hoodie while also grabbing his keys, deciding he'd had enough of her silence.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Asami," Satoru calls out to her, "I know you're awake," he says, continuing to relentlessly knock on the door, "Asamiiiii."

Nothing.

"Asami, please," he sighs, "You know you're really being stubborn this time around, but it's okay. I won't make the same mistake like I did last time…"

He turns the knob of the door, "Huh?" he mumbles, surprised to see that it was unlocked. Cautiously entering, he feels his stomach drop when he sees the emptiness of the small apartment, her once completely filled bookshelf now empty.

"Asami?" his voice echoes, the heel of his chelsea boots softly clicking against the hardwood floor as he begins to look around. Every room was empty except Yuuji's, his stuff presumably untouched by her. Asami was gone.

Walking back to the living room, he begins to call her number, tapping his foot as he anxiously waits for her to pick up.

"We're sorry, you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service, if you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the number and try your call again,"

"What the…" he frowns, almost as if in a state of shock. 'There's just no way….' he thinks to himself, refusing to believe that she'd just disappear without saying anything. Not without saying goodbye to him.

Walking back and forth across the living room, Gojou begins to go into panic, unsure of what to do or how to find her, 'Where would she—' his thoughts come to an abrupt halt once he notices two sealed envelopes on the kitchen counter, one labelled "To: Satoru." and the other "To: Yuuji."

Picking them up, he glares at flimsy pieces of paper, already knowing the contents inside each one. This was her goodbye.

Unsealing his, he pulls out the nicely folded paper, the faint sound of rain in the background coming into focus… how fitting. Softly grazing his fingers against the dried ink, he notices how certain words had runny ink, a sign that she'd been crying while writing…

Dear Satoru,

When I first came to Jujutsu High, I was nothing more than a scared 15 year old girl who didn't know anything about the reality of the world around her. You thought I was weak, and believed I had no place in this world we call jujutsu sorcery. And at the time maybe you were right, I just wasn't cut out for it. Soon I even began to think of myself as weak and unworthy of my own power. Until you showed me that I could be strong. That I could be like you.

I guess that's where our journey starts, huh? From two teens who originally hated one another, who then grew to be genuine friends until ultimately … they somehow fell in love along the way.

When I think back to the memories with you, Shoko, and Suguru, my heart can't help but long for those times before this whole shit show began. I remember how we used to always find ourselves going on random adventures in Tokyo our first year and idiotically getting ourselves lost because we didn't know how to read a map. Who can blame us though, right? Kids these days have it easy with having a GPS on their phones. Or how about that one time we all managed to sneak into Tokyo Disneyland because of you! I'll never forget Masamichi's face when we saw him and his girlfriend in line for Pooh's Hunny Hunt! But I think my favorite memory with you all has to be that one time we tried to go to a local high school's party and we got drunk for the first time! Now that was hilarious!

Sometimes I wonder if it was all truly inevitable? That what happened to not just me, but all of us, was already written in the stars….

I often try to pinpoint where it all began, but most of the time it's all just one big blur…

From the blood on my hands to the dead bodies surrounding me, for that night in that village changed everything for us. It just all happened so quickly….

That morning I woke up still being the friendly loving Asami everyone knew and loved, but when I finally managed to place my head onto a pillow that night, she was gone, cursed with the punishment of waking up in cold sweats and given glimpses of the past to haunt her for the next ten years, a reminder of the monster she was.

Until she came back to you.

The boy who taught her how to be strong.

Soon I found myself feeling like the doe eyed fifteen year old girl who was always secretly in awe of the strongest shaman in the world, the nightmares suddenly coming to an end. I'd wake up and for the most part actually look forward to the day, catching myself quietly laughing at the antics of you and a certain pink haired boy, while also thoroughly planning my lessons for the students back at the school instead of lazily winging it. All because I genuinely cared for them.

For the first time in a very long time, I was happy.

So for that I thank you.

But I guess all dreams must come to an end, right? Because with every dream comes a nightmare lurking in the shadows of one's mind. Of course I would know that best… as I'm cursed with the technique of seeing them first hand...

As you read this, you've probably noticed that my apartment is completely empty, the only things being left untouched belonging to Yuuji. I've also left a letter for Yuuji to read, as I feel like he deserves to have his own proper goodbye, though I have a feeling that he probably won't want to read my letter, too stubborn to accept that I've decided to leave. Hell, he might even get mad at me, but that's okay. He'll come to understand my decision one day.

You must be thinking I'm a coward for saying all of this through a letter. But sadly I knew I couldn't say goodbye in person because if I did then I'm sure you would've convinced me to stay, just like how you convinced me to come back in the first place. That's because when it comes to you, I'll always be that stupid girl who gave you your first kiss…

You were my first love Satoru, and I would've wanted more than anything for you to be my last. But I guess it was just never meant to be. Forgive me Satoru, for this is goodbye.

Yours Truly,

Asami Okada.

Crumpling up the letter, Satoru impulsively destroys the flimsy piece of paper with his cursed energy, feeling the muscles in his body go numb. There seemed to be a tugging feeling in his heart that prevented him from lashing out, a feeling so intense he was sure that sooner or later he'd explode. He just wasn't sure when.

Gritting his teeth, he tries to ignore the hollow ache in his chest that was screaming at him to do something, that it didn't like that excruciating feeling that was crawling through his lungs, slowly wrapping around his heart like winter vines.

He was Gojou Satoru, the strongest shaman born in the last 100 years, honored with the Six Eyes that allowed him to master the cursed technique of Limitless. So then why the fuck did he feel so …. powerless? Why did he feel angry, weak, fragile, and vulnerable all at once? How was it that he's witnessed people cruelly die in his lifetime and not feel a freaking thing, but that damn stupid letter that was just in his hands has him nearly going insane. It just didn't make sense.

"We would've moved to a small village in the countryside, where the number of curses is at a minimum, and spend our days learning and doing random things like drawing or painting. We'd only go to the city unless it's necessary or we're really bored. We probably would've gotten married on a whim because I cannot imagine you seriously getting on one knee without making a joke out of it. And then we'd maybe even have ki—"

"Kids?"

"Two, at most. A boy and a girl, but I wouldn't mind a third. We'd all be one little happy family, ignorant to the world around us."

"We—We could still have that. Maybe not now, but—"

"Mm I'd like that."

The sound of her soft laughter rings in his ears, reminding him that he made his decision years ago not to fulfill her dream, that what he was feeling now was nothing compared to what she must've felt years ago.

"Let's leave Satoru, let's run and never look back. What are they going to do, stop us? You're Gojo Satoru and I'm Okada Asami, two unstoppable shamans who can do as they please, so let's just leave. Let's live a peaceful life and forget about the curses, the clans, the politics, the higher ups, the trail of death that's behind us, and this stupid world that treats us like disposable weapons. Let's just forget it all Satoru," she pleads to him, "We deserve to be selfish don't we? We deserve to be happy."

"Asami—"

"Please," her voice breaks, "Please Satoru," the tears in her eyes begin to fall, "Aren't you tired? I mean look at everything that's happened," she cries out, "You're all I have left!" she begins to hysterically sob, grabbing his wet hands, the rain beginning to pour around them, almost as if grieving the relationship that was coming to its tragic end.

He stares at her in silence, the lump in his throat trying to prevent his next words, "I—" he pauses while pulling his hands away, releasing himself from her grip, "I can't Asami."

Shaking his head, Satoru tries to push the memory off, feeling as his head is about to explode. He knew it was selfish of him to still want her at his side, but he just couldn't help it … he simply loved her too much.

And if he could he'd drop everything to go find her and tell her just how much he regretted his decision years ago, that they were still young and could still run away and fulfill her dream just like she had asked him to years before … but he couldn't. Because he was Gojou Satoru. Not some average man who could just drop his responsibilities and run away like he was in some freaking fairytale. Hell, he didn't even have to be an average man, as long as he wasn't Gojo Satoru of the Six Eyes then he would've done it. He would've left and never looked back.

But he had made his decision back then, just like she was making hers now, and he had to respect it, right? He didn't have a right to complain, so then why the fuck was feeling so … hurt?

Punching the kitchen cabinets next to him, he doesn't imbue his fist with any cursed energy, allowing himself to punch something like an average man. Because what he was feeling was something only an average man could feel….

For Gojou Satoru was heartbroken.

Present Day.

"Asami-sensei should be coming back any day now!" Yuuji excitedly announces to Gojou, expecting his enthusiasm to be reciprocated, only to be met with awkward silence.

Deciding to ignore it, he shrugs, continuing with his rambling, "I have so much I want to say to her! Do you think I should start off with a sorry or should I just act like nothing happened? I doubt Asami-sensei would want to be bombarded with a reminder of our last mission straight out of vacation, right? Hopefully she's well res—"

With a dead look in his eyes, Gojou stares at the wall in front of him, unsure of just how much more he could take. It was like every time he heard her name come out of the pink-haired boy's mouth, that same suffocating feeling he often felt would return, his heart wanting to shatter into a million pieces all over again as he watched the boy's enthusiasm, constantly having to force himself to spew out another lie and plaster his all too famous smile on his face, acting as if nothing was wrong when in fact everything was.

"Yuuji," Gojou interrupts him, finally having enough, "I—" he pauses, "I need to tell you something."

Yuuji innocently tilts his head in confusion, gulping in the process, "Yes Gojou-sensei?"

Making eye-contact with the boy, Gojou feels as if something's punched him in the gut, finding himself hesitant to continue, "It's about Asami."

Yuuji continues to blink in uncertainty, "W-What is it?" he coughs, his voice having cracked a tiny bit.

He was nervous.

God, did Gojou feel like shit, something he almost never felt, 'Just say it, Satoru. Rip the damn bandage off,' he thinks to himself, 'You can't treat him like a kid forever, right?'

"Asami isn't coming back…." he finally says, immediately feeling the weight come off his shoulders.

"This week?" Yuuji nervously smiles, not bothering to process what Gojou had just said.

Gojo's serious expression falters, the sudden pang of guilt reminding him that this was going to be much harder than he already thought it'd be, "No," he shakes his head, "I mean, at all…."

Yuuji feigns a laugh, still believing that this had to be another one of his sensei's pranks, "Ha ha ha, very funny Gojou-sensei," he says, winking at the tall man, expecting him to crack a smile.

Nothing.

This is when Yuuji's expression begins to slowly change from one of playfulness to one of worry, "Gojou-sensei?"

"I'm sorry Yuuji…."

"W-What do you mean she's not coming back Gojou-sensei?" his voice becomes weak, the smile that was just on his face beginning to turn into a frown.

"She decided to quit being a teacher, as well as being a shaman," Gojou simply answers, not needing to explain her reasoning behind the decision, for they both already knew why she ultimately quit.

"B-But it's Asami-sensei … she wouldn't just leave without saying goodbye … right?"

Gojou pulls out the letter he'd been keeping in his pocket since he found out about her sudden departure, keenly aware that he was going to have to come clean to Yuuji at some point. He just hadn't been sure as to when.

Staring at the sealed envelope in his sensei's hands, Yuuji can see the cursively written,"To: Yuuji" from where he stood, "B-But—"

"This is her goodbye," Gojou begins to hand him the envelope, frowning when he sees Yuuji begin to shake his head in denial, refusing to accept the letter just like how Asami said he would.

"No," he says, "There's no way she'd just leave like that," he furrows his brows, glaring at his sensei, "She wouldn't—"

"But she did," Gojou says, not a hint of emotion in his voice. If he had to be the bad guy right now then so be it, but the quicker Yuuji accepted it, the better. It'd mean they could both get on with their lives just as fast, "Here," he tries to hand him the envelope one more time, but Yuuji continues to refuse it.

"No," he repeats, "I'm not reading that," he ultimately states, his tone signalling that he was being completely serious about it, "And she's coming back," he announces with clear determination causing Gojou to only further deepen his frown.

"Yuuji—"

"She is, I'll make sure of it Gojou-sensei," he interrupts, "I mean I have time to look for her don't I? Not like I would do much while you two were at work, I would just play video games in her apartment all day, same thing I've been doing here these past couple of weeks."

Gojou sighs, not a fan of the kid's blatant denial, "Yuuji, I don't even know if she's in Japan. She could be in a whole 'nother country for all I know. And even then, you need to be either supervised or hidden. I can't afford to have you travelling from country to country and have word go out that Sukuna's vessel is still alive. Not yet at least."

Looking away, Yuuji lets out a stubborn huff of air, crossing his arms like a child in the process, "She's coming back," he mumbles to himself while walking to his room, adamant about her return.

Remaining silent, Gojou feels disappointed with himself for not having the same amount of hope that Yuuji has, but he couldn't help it. He wasn't going to entertain such … unrealistic … notions.

Sighing, he enters his room, plopping onto his king-size bed, mentally exhausted from everything.

"Asami ... where the hell are you?" he whispers to himself, the crimson-haired woman being the only thing on his mind before allowing sleep to take over him.

A/N: sheeeeesh! Lots of angst this chapter and Asami wasn't even in it, which brings up the question … where the hell is she? Anyone have any guesses? I'll give you a hint … she's somewhere there's (usually) a very warm climate, that's all I will say hehe.