It had been too long since their last expedition, and the Scouts were getting antsy, Isa could feel it. Tension was high in the air.

Not knowing when you would be sent out to die was worse than knowing. The anticipation was brutal. In the month since her visit to Ethel's, Isa had taken to doing some sketching, and found that she wasn't horrible at it. She did sketches of Luna, Hange, Levi, anything she could practice.

She was pleased to learn that she was actually good at it.

She was currently out in the courtyard drawing, after another hard day of training, which had gone surprisingly well. She was growing more and more confident in her abilities with each passing day.

She'd grown impressed with Moblit and his abilities as well. He reminded her of Furlan in a way, with how he analyzed everything around him before choosing the route he wanted to take, though the man did seem to be more on the nervous side.

She also appreciated his help in keeping Hange's eccentric nature in line.

As she sketched, she realized she was drawing Levi. He was a favorite subject of hers to draw. Right now, she was drawing her memory of him when he'd first joined, that first eye contact with him, when it felt as if he was looking straight into her soul.

His eyes were probably her favorite feature of him. They were oddly…expressive for someone so adept at holding back emotion. Often, they were narrowed, watching everything around him, ready to act at a moment's notice.

Even though his eyes were expressive, she still had trouble reading the emotion in them. Often there was just too much for her to decipher.

Sometimes she lost the ability to breathe when they looked at her, as if they were asking her questions she didn't know how to answer. They were kinder now when they looked at her, calmer, gentler, and they'd lost that hard suspicion he'd carried towards her for so long.

She wasn't sure how she'd managed to do that, but she'd take it. She still wasn't sure if he fully trusted her, or even considered her a friend, but at least he didn't seem to hate her now.

She'd noticed that there were shadows growing under his eyes, and it worried her. He seemed to have had trouble sleeping when they first met, but now it seemed to be getting worse. She wished she knew more of what went on in his head. Despite the fact that they spent every night on the roof, she still felt that there was so much about him she didn't know.

She dreamed about him sometimes, and it was…unnerving. She wasn't sure what triggered them, and they were sporadic, but there were times where she'd wake with an unbearable ache between her legs, and she'd have no choice but to go relieve it in the shower.

She didn't understand how it was possible to feel such desire for someone when they'd never even kissed, which she knew would never happen.

Even if he did want her in that way, she had no idea how to even tell him she wanted him, or how to try to seduce him.

She also hated that she was concerned with any of this. She spent every single day training, working on new maneuvers, working on endurance, to make sure that she didn't die outside the walls, yet she couldn't shake the desire or the crush she held for him.

It wasn't like she'd had the chance to practice as a teenager. The closest contact she'd had with someone of the opposite sex was that afternoon where they'd tried to sell her off to some nobleman, as if she were nothing but some piece of furniture.

That day the woman tried to kill her was the day that she had begun to plot her escape.

A body plopping down beside of her drew her from her thoughts.

Isa sighed. "Hange, I don't really feel like talking right now."

A deep voice that was not the voice of her energetic friend spoke with amusement in its tone. "Not Hange."

Her eyes shot to the person beside her, and widened when she saw Levi.

She gaped at him before snapping her book shut, in an attempt to hide her drawings of him.

He raised a brow at her reaction. "Got something to hide."

Her face flushed. "N-no, of course not. Why would you think that?"

"The fact that you look like you're about to shit yourself for one." He looked down at the sketchbook she clutched in her hands. "What's in the book?"

"N-nothing."

"Doesn't seem like nothing."

Before she could do anything, he'd reached out and grabbed her sketchbook, and was now actively flipping through it.

She buried her flaming face in her hands, not wanting to see his reaction to her multiple drawings of him.

Dammit, he's going to know now right? Or maybe he won't…Shit.

At least it's not my journal…then he'd definitely know.

She felt a hand on her head, pulling her up to face him.

An amused smirk was playing on his face. "What's the deal? These aren't half-bad."

She rolled her eyes at the half-assed compliment. "Gee thanks."

"I'm serious."

"When are you not?"

He gave her a bland look. "My only question, is why are there so many of me?"

He seemed to be genuinely curious as to why she'd drawn so many of him.

Maybe…maybe he doesn't realize it. Okay, how do I play this off?

She gave him a sly grin, nudging his shoulder with hers. "Maybe I'm just trying to see what Ethel meant by you being attractive."

He huffed. "You're such a brat." He shoved the sketchbook back into her hands.

"Takes one to know one."

"Really? That's the retort you have?" The unamused look he gave her only served to make her giggle.

"Well, if you're going to call me a brat, may as well live up to it."

"You're such a pain in the ass."

"Says the grouchy ass."

Before he could retort, Hange came up, interrupting their banter. "Guys, Erwin wants us to meet in his office. I think it's about an expedition."

The three of them made their way to Erwin's office. Once everyone had arrived, Erwin gave them information on the upcoming expedition.

"We've received word from Mitras, and they wish for us to survey a new section of land that we've avoided."

Isa was a bit surprised that the government was having them do this, but then again, the Scouts were hated in Mitras, so perhaps she shouldn't be. Though, she could sense that there was more to it than Erwin was letting on.

She listened as he explained that the expedition would take place a week from now. She was concerned at how soon they were expected to go. Normally they had a month or so to prepare for an expedition.

It was almost as if the government was setting them up for failure.

Erwin further explained that they were going to be testing out his long-range scouting formation he'd designed. The last time they'd tried this was back in Levi's first expedition, and Erwin had been taking the time to redesign and adapt it further.

The object of the formation was to avoid titans versus engaging in battling them.

Isa had mixed emotions about this. On the one hand, avoiding titans meant less death. Theoretically.

On the other hand, the titans were ultimately still there, and they could cross paths again, possibly at an even worse possible time. Potentially clustered together.

Isa wasn't sure which was worse, but ultimately, she trusted Erwin's judgment. He'd been a scout far longer than she and had far more experience. Not only that, but his squad was the only squad that had yet to suffer any fatalities compared to other squads.

Back in their room, she asked her friends their opinion on the expedition.

Uma, who had plopped herself down on the floor, shrugged. "Not sure what to think. It's just another mission." She'd been moved to Isa's room as part of Erwin's goal to help further build team rapport.

Isa was a little surprised at Uma's lack of concern. "Don't you think it's weird they're sending us to unexplored territory? And with such little time to prepare?" She sat down next to Hange in her bed, who wrapped an arm over Isa's shoulder, pulling her friend close.

Sherri looked over at Isa. "Is it really all that weird? It's no question that the government is not fond of us. All this will most likely result in, is more death, giving the people more reason to hate us."

Hange thought long and hard. "Maybe that's what they want. They want enough people to hate us so they have a reason to shut down our branch."

"You would think that people would want us to learn as much as we can about outside the walls." Isa grumbled, arms crossed.

"Some people are content to live in ignorance."

Isa groaned in frustration. "It just doesn't make sense to me, Uma."

Uma leaned back against the bedframe, stretching her legs out in front of her. "For some people, the truth is scary, and they'd prefer not to live in that fear."

"But you would think the fear of not knowing would be worse."

Hange squeezed Isa's shoulder. "And that's where you have us Scouts. We'd prefer to know than to not know."

Isa nodded. "Fair enough." She was wary as she watched Hange's eyes take on a maniacal glint.

"Maybe we'll be able to catch an abnormal." A wide, hopeful grin had taken over Hange's face.

Three pairs of eyes blinked at their friend.

Hange looked at them, confused at their reaction. "What?"

Isa was the first to recover. "Alright, I supported the idea of capturing a normal titan, but an abnormal? Hange, have you lost your mind?"

"Well don't you want to know what it is that makes them abnormal?"

"But—"

"And who was it who just said, 'you would think the fear of not knowing would be worse.'"

Isa glared at her friend for throwing her words back in her face. "Well now you make me sound ridiculous for questioning you."

"As opposed to you normally?"

"Fuck off, Sherri."

Sherri laughed, not fazed in the slightest. "Aww, Isa, you know you love me."

Isa glared her friend. "Yea, well sometimes I wonder why."

When the day of the expedition arrived, Isa could sense the nerves across the scouts. They were exploring new land and didn't know what was going to happen.

She'd taken her place behind Erwin, Levi on one side, Hange on the other.

She herself was having trouble keeping her nerves at bay. She kept thinking back to the notes she kept getting.

Nothing happened in the last one. What if this person tries something on this expedition?

The words of Lucy's mom were coming back to her full force, which didn't help.

She hadn't noticed that her breath was starting to pick up, little black spots popping up in front of her. Her hands were clenching on Luna's reins so tight the knuckles had turned white. She didn't even notice the ache in them.

She jolted when she felt a strong hand on her shoulder, stopping the thoughts in their tracks. When she turned to face the owner and met Levi's eyes, the calmness in them helped to ease her nerves ever so slightly.

"Take a breath."

Remembering how he'd helped her after her last attack, she did as she was told, taking a deep inhale in, and exhaling out slowly, and almost immediately, the dots disappeared.

She gave him a smile. "Thanks, Levi."

She didn't catch Hange watching the exchange, curiosity lighting her eyes.

When Shadis gave the order to move forward, she nudged Luna to move.

She wondered if she'd ever grow tired of that first moment when they rode outside the walls, before chaos breaks loose. That small moment of peace where she could just enjoy the feeling of being free.

You're right, Levi. Not bad.

The ride back to Shiganshina was even more solemn than ever. She was riding behind Erwin. Levi and Hange by her side once again. The Scouts had taken a hard blow outside the walls. Isa looked around her and saw more wounded than she'd ever seen before. She wasn't sure where all those abnormals had come from. They'd been surrounded, and the titans had just kept coming.

Isa had known this expedition was a bad idea. She didn't understand why the government had demanded they survey that area, when they'd avoided it for a reason. Despite the fact that they knew this section was prone to abnormals, they had still been sent out there, and she couldn't come up with a reason why.

Since it had been new terrain that they'd never scouted before, they'd moved at a slower pace, walking instead of the usual gallop. This allowed them to pay attention to their surroundings more.

Shadis had ordered the Scouts to stay close together, that way, in the event of a swarm, they would have backup at the ready, versus being spread out across the land.

On a more positive note, being in Erwin's squad, had allowed Isa to learn that Mike's nose was good for more than just sniffing people. He could apparently sniff out titans, catching scents before they were surrounded. Yet, it was worthless if the wind was blowing in the wrong direction.

It hadn't taken long for the wind to change direction, and once it had, everything had gone to shit.

They never had the chance to test Erwin's formation.

She'd never seen so many abnormals, hadn't known so many existed, and they'd kept coming, almost as if something were luring them towards the scouts.

Erwin's squad had done their best to take down as many titans as possible, but the abnormals were formidable foes, far worse than a regular titan.

She'd been impressed by some of the new recruits that had survived.

There was one woman, on the shorter side like Isa, with short blonde hair, who'd managed to assist in a couple of titan kills, despite being terrified. She'd managed to keep control of herself and not succumb to her fear like Isa had seen happen on numerous occasions.

Another recruit, a man with short brown hair had managed to take down an abnormal on his own, which was no easy feat.

Overall, Isa thought the newer recruits, the ones that were still with them, held promise.

The guilt washing over her was almost unbearable at the feeling of gratitude that none of her loved ones had died this time. Another expedition gone without losing someone she cared about.

What she found strange, was that this was the second expedition in a row where she hadn't lost someone. She wondered if that meant the person sending her those awful notes had died.

She half hoped that they had, and she hated that she felt that way, but she couldn't help it. If that person was gone, then that meant she didn't have to worry about her loved ones anymore, or more so, not worry that some idiot with a bullshit vendetta was going to try to kill the people she cared most about.

She still didn't understand why the person had hated her that much. She wasn't the only one who'd made the top ten.

Is it because they think I didn't deserve a place in the top ten? Or because I joined the scouts despite making the top ten? Both?

I'm still not sure why I made the top ten, but still, I wasn't the only one who made the top ten, and I wasn't the only one of the top ten who joined the scouts.

So why me?

She assumed it didn't matter, since the person clearly had died at some point.

As they rode, the usual complaints were thrown at them, along with the occasional bits of food. Waste of taxes. Waste of life. What's the point of all this? Isa had long stopped caring what other people thought, though it warmed her heart to see that same green eyed little boy watch them come through with excitement in his innocent eyes.

As long as there are people who still believe in our mission, we can continue on. It's like Mike says, we lose when we stop fighting.

She overheard the little boy's words to his friend, and what he said made her chuckle.

'Look, it's that scout that waved at us. See, not all of them die, she's survived multiple expeditions now. I can do it too.'

A woman's voice grabbed her attention.

"Excuse me…my son…I don't see my son Braun here."

Shit.

Isa hadn't known Braun well, but she'd seen him around, and he'd seemed like a nice enough person. He'd been part of the new group of cadets that had recently joined the scouts a couple of months ago.

She winced when Shadis had some of Braun's comrades hand his mother his arm wrapped up in a blanket.

She didn't think that was the best idea…for his mother's last memory of him to be a severed arm.

Shadis what are you thinking? Why would you give the mother his arm? I think you just made the situation worse. You could have just told her that her son died in battle.

Her heart broke clean in two at the mother's broken wails, watching as she collapsed on the ground at Shadis' feet, clutching the only piece left of her son.

She couldn't help but feel a bit jealous.

I…I don't have anyone who would grieve like that for me…do I? Would anyone miss me if something happened to me outside the walls?

When she looked at Shadis' face, she was stunned to see how broken the Commander looked. She hadn't thought a man of his position could look so defeated, so crestfallen.

"Even if he didn't achieve anything directly…his death…brought humanity closer to beating them back, right?" Braun's mother struggled to speak between her wails.

"Of course! Our expedition this time…this time, too…we…we accomplished…nothing!"

Isa jolted at Shadis' admission. She was stunned to hear him say that they were no closer to figuring out the truth about the titans than before.

She'd wondered in the past if they were making any progress, but had never bothered asking. She had assumed that information would be something only the Squad Leaders and Commanders would know.

When she heard the Commander cry out that his incompetence was what killed his soldiers, she wanted to go to him, tell him that no, it wasn't his incompetence, it was the titans.

She thought it wasn't the best idea to be sharing this information in front of a crowd of people who already hated them.

Shadis made his way back into the formation, beside Erwin. Isa thought he looked dejected, broken, a shell of the Commander she remembered from when she first joined.

Shadis caught her watching him, and regarded her with those beady eyes. "You, Tudor."

She was instantly wary of the hostility. "Yes sir."

"Why did you join the Scouts?"

She blinked at him. "I-I wanted to make a difference sir."

He gave a mirthless laugh. "A difference huh? What makes you think you'll be able to make a difference?"

"Back off." Levi growled.

Shadis barely spared him with a glance before turning his attention back to Isa. "You're not special. I'm not special. You should leave while you can, before you die."

Hange glared at Shadis.

Isa recoiled, taken aback by his indifferent hostility. "I…"

Is he right? Why did I think I could make a difference?

Isa could feel the insecurities rising inside her as her hands clenched tight around Luna's reins.

Useless. Pathetic. Weak.

'Take a breath.'

Levi's instructions rang in her head, breaking though the fuzz as clear as if he'd just spoken them to her, and she took a deep breath.

No.

Her eyebrows furrowed in concentration, in realization. She thought of all the titans she'd helped bring down. Her improvements in training. Her success in helping Levi with his horse.

I've proven myself. I've earned my place.

Something came over Isa, kicking aside the insecurities into a room and slamming the door shut. Her eyes flashed with warning as they narrowed to dangerous slits, rivaling the glares of Levi. "With all due respect, sir. I may not be as strong or fast as Levi or Mike. I may not have Hange's intelligence. I may not be as strategic as Squad Leader Erwin. But let me tell you something."

Her voice dropped to a menacing growl. "I'll be damned if I give up now just because things get rough. I may not be special like them, but I'm not a quitter, and you'd do well to never question that again."

She lifted her chin in defiance of Shadis' words. "Don't try to cut me down just because you've let your insecurities and the words of the people take control of you. I pledged my heart to this branch, and I will fight until the day I die. If that is by the hands of a titan, then so be it. Sir."

She wondered if she should be embarrassed for disrespecting him, but in that moment she didn't care. When she faced away from Shadis, she saw Erwin watching her with a small smile on his face and an intrigued light in his eyes. The one she'd only seen when he was strategizing, plotting, planning.

Facing forward, she didn't catch the quiet admiration lighting Levi's eyes as he watched her put the Commander in his place.

As she rode, she heard Shadis murmur to Erwin. "I think you should take over as Commander."

She watched in astonishment as Shadis turned and walked in the opposite direction, away from the Scouts. Away from his former life.

She hoped that she would never end up like that, so broken, so defeated.

A solemn quiet settled over the remaining scouts as they learned that Shadis had quit.

When they arrived back at base, Isa spent extra time settling Luna into her stall, making sure she had plenty of fresh hay and water as always.

Once she was sure Luna was settled in, she turned and saw that Levi was waiting for her outside Luna's stall, watching her with those perceptive eyes that always had her heart thrumming and stomach churning.

She ignored her reactions, not wanting to give them any form of acknowledgement. "We still on for tea later?"

He moved out of the way so she could walk out of Luna's stall, and then the two started making their way back to base. "Yea, but I'm making it this time, mine's better than yours."

She rolled her eyes. "Always the grouchy ass."

"Always the brat."

His response made her giggle. "Says the brat who does nothing but repeat what I say."

He glared at her. "Just make sure you clean up before you come up to the roof. You're covered in all kinds of shit."

"So are you, I'm surprised you've made it this long without cleaning up." She loved teasing him, trying to get a rise out of him. It never seemed to bother him though, if anything, he enjoyed giving shit right back to her.

"Had to make sure you clean up before you come muck up the roof. You are friends with Hange."

She gaped at him before laughing. "Ouch, asshole, when have I ever not been clean outside of immediately after an expedition?"

Before they made it inside the base, Erwin came up and stopped them. Isa saluted her new Commander. She glared at Levi when he didn't.

"When you both have cleaned up, we're all meeting in the courtyard. Something has happened." Erwin's tone was clipped and matter of fact, as it usually was. That was one thing Isa appreciated about him, was his ability to usually get straight to the point.

"Yes, sir." Isa said.

Levi merely nodded.

When Erwin turned to walk away, he called back over his shoulder. "Make it quick, it's urgent."

Isa gave Levi a look, curious to know what was going on.

He shrugged. "No point in wondering about it. We'll all learn soon enough."

She rolled her eyes. "Erwin's most devout follower is becoming more like him day after day."

He sent her a glare, though she could see the smallest bit of humor in his eyes, telling her that her teasing didn't bother him in the slightest.

She made quick work of cleaning up and changing, and then met Levi and Hange out in the courtyard.

They stood around and when Erwin came to stand before them, the grim look on her face had Isa growing worried.

"Wall Maria has been breached." Erwin was direct as always.

Isa's mouth dropped at the news. With a mind of its own, Isa's hand grabbed Levi's beside her. Perhaps at another time she would have wondered why he didn't yank his hand away, but she was too stunned to question it, barely registering that she was holding his hand.

"They are now currently invading the land. We've been tasked to help evacuate the remaining towns that have yet to learn. We leave in a few hours, so rest up." He paused, surveying his subordinates in front of him. "That is all."

Her horrified eyes met Hange's and Levi's faces. Hange looked worried, and Isa could make out the slightest hint of concern in Levi's eyes, in the way his brow furrowed ever so slightly.

How the hell did this happen?

In the weeks following the Fall of Wall Maria, the scouts worked endlessly in trying to help the towns evacuate. Isa lost count of how many titans she'd slain, of how many people, both scouts and civilians had died.

Isa hadn't realized just how much land had been between Wall Rose and Wall Maria.

Erwin's approach in taking on the titans had been to lure them away from towns so they could get the people out, versus trying to engage in battle with every single one. Still dangerous, but strategy wise, Isa saw the merit.

It's easier to outrun a titan on horseback than it was to battle every titan that showed up, especially if multiple came in at once.

Unless you were Levi.

Isa didn't know how, but Levi rarely struggled when it came to fighting titans. And if he did struggle, it was usually because someone else made an error in judgment.

The people had started to take note in his abilities. She couldn't help but laugh at how many people were beginning to idolize and fawn over him.

If only they knew what he was really like.

Grouchy.

An ass.

Rude.

Abrasive.

She knew that, but it didn't bother her.

Because in the moments where he showed her the sweeter side of him, or the humorous side of him, she felt herself sliding further down that slippery slope that she was clinging so tightly to.

Isa could see why Isabel had admired him so much, and why she and Furlan had been so loyal to him. She admired him as well, despite his personality, in fact, she'd come to appreciate his directness, his bluntness, even if it made him come off as a grouchy ass.

She just didn't think the people would be as worshipping if they knew how he actually was.

Isa's free time was spent volunteering in Trost, handing out food and supplies to the survivors that had been relocated there.

The government was rationing supplies and tensions were running high. People were growing hungry, and Isa worried that it was only a matter of time before chaos broke out.

She worried at what the government might do to prevent that from happening.

The loss of the land in Wall Maria had caused a devastating blow in their food supplies. Meat had become a rare treat that only went to those who had money.

Which meant the Scouts didn't get any. If anything, they were getting the least amount of rations. It was as if the government was doing their best to make sure they couldn't survive.

She imagined that the Military Police were gorging themselves on all different kinds of foods galore. As if they would ever know what it is to go hungry. Ironic since they live right above the poorest section of the walls.

She didn't care whether or not she got meat to eat. What she hated, was that while there were people starving on the streets, the people in Mitras and the Military Police weren't affected, and didn't care.

After a long day of volunteering, she was sitting on the roof, bursting with excitement as she waited for Levi to show up.

Today, Levi was supposed to meet with Erwin, and she was dying to know what the meeting was about. She just knew it had to be something good. She hadn't seen him all day, and she had resigned herself to waiting until tonight when they met on the rooftop as they normally did.

As she sat, she looked at the stars as she usually did. She saw the group of stars that held the story that had been Lucy's favorite, and she felt a pang in her heart as she thought of her friend.

Lucy, wherever you are, I hope you're free. I miss you, so much.

You probably know this, but Sherri apologized a while back for how she acted after your death. I forgave her, though I've been told I'm too forgiving.

I don't care. I've lost too many people, and I can tell Sherri was beating herself up about it. It's not worth it to be angry at her.

Being angry at her won't bring you back.

Mufled footsteps walking up behind her drew her out of her melancholy. Turning, she saw Levi moving across the roof.

Unable to wait any longer, she jumped to her feet and raced over to meet him, giving Hange a run for her money in levels of enthusiasm.

He raised an eyebrow, eyes lit with amusement at her energy, but didn't say anything.

Like a child eager for a treat, she grabbed his arm, yanking it gently. "Come on, tell me. What was the meeting about?"

He shrugged. "Nothing important."

She rolled her eyes at his indifference. "Nothing important? Come on, Levi, give me more than that."

He huffed, clearly amused at her impatience. "Erwin decided to make me captain of a special operations squad he's created."

Isa's jaw dropped at the thought of him taking on such an important role. Without thinking, she threw her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a fierce hug. He tensed, as if unsure of what to do, and simply rested his hands on her hips. The heat from his body engulfed her, sending it aflame, as the simple scent of tea filled the air around her, caressing her senses.

"I'm so proud of you Levi."

Stroking absently at his hair, she drew him in close, wanting to express how proud she was of him for earning such an important role. She wanted him to know how much she thought he deserved this.

He's come so far. A year and a half ago, I wouldn't have expected him to be given such a prestigious position. His skill and natural talent have done more than earn him this spot. I'm so glad that Erwin realized this.

Her eyes snapped open when she realized what she'd done. She'd thrown herself at him when she knew he generally wasn't one for such close contact with others. Pulling back, she met his amused look. "I…I'm sorry, I-I wasn't thinking." They were so close together she could see those beautiful specks of blue.

"It's fine." The gentle humor in his voice filled her, surrounded her.

Caught in his gaze, she made no move to pull away further, helplessly trapped in the blue of his eyes as they took in her features. She became vaguely aware that his hands were resting at the dip in her waist, thumbs stroking almost absently, curiously, as if testing the waters, sending tingles washing across her skin. So close to him, she felt so…small.

She watched as the look in his eyes slowly turned from humor to something else, something she didn't know how to read or understand.

When she saw his eyes drop down to her lips, her stomach flipped. His gaze came back up to hers, and what she saw sent a tremor down her spine. She didn't know what they tried to tell her, what they tried to ask her, but the look had her leaning in ever closer.

When he didn't pull back, and leaned in slightly, Isa's nerves jangled, hands clenching in fists at his neck in an attempt to calm her nerves.

Is this…is this actually going to happen? Is he going to kiss me? Does he want to kiss me or am I imagining things?

Am I imagining this?

Her heart was thrumming in her ears, drowning out all other sounds around her. They were so close now she could feel his soft breaths on her lips, the comforting smell of Levi wafting over her, drugging her, hypnotizing her.

She watched as his eyes darkened further, their lips mere centimeters apart. She wanted to lift her hand to brush at the bangs falling over his forehead, but her hands now felt so weighted they could do nothing more than hang limply around his neck.

"Isa!" A voice calling from the stairwell sent a splash of cold water over the moment, and the two jumped apart. "Isa! Have you seen Levi? I've been looking for him all day! I'm dying to know what his meeting with Erwin was about." Hange burst through the rooftop door, and Isa could have screamed at the poor timing.

She cleared her throat. "Yea, Hange, he's right here."

Hange made her way over to where Isa and Levi stood, giving Isa a concerned look. "Are you alright Isa? You look a little flushed. Are you coming down with something?" Hange placed her hand on Isa's forehead as if to check her temperature.

"Umm…no Hange, I'm fine, you just startled me is all."

Hange caught the look Levi gave Isa. "Did I…am I interrupting something?"

"No!" Isa and Levi said at the same time, sending awkward glances at each other.

Hange looked startled, but shook it off, too excited to hear the news to question. "Levi! What did Erwin want?"

Levi cleared his throat before saying, "He's promoted me to Captain of the Special Operations Squad."

Hange squealed. "Levi that's amazing!" She threw her arms around him, and Isa watched as he stiffened and pushed her off him.

"I don't think so Four Eyes, I can smell you from a mile away, no way I'm letting you hug me smelling like filth."

Not offended in the slightest, Hange just laughed. "Levi, I don't think you'd let anyone hug you, even if they've been doused in cleaner."

Desperate for a change in subject, Isa remembered Hange had also had a meeting with Erwin today. "Hange, what did Erwin want? You met with him today didn't you?"

Hange squealed again. "He's promoted me to Squad Leader and wants me to focus on titan research."

Isa's jaw dropped again. "Hange that's amazing!" She flung her arms around her best friend, ecstatic that the two people closest to her were being given such important roles.

"That's not even the best part. I want you on my squad, and as my second in command."

Isa gaped, pulling out of the hug. "I…but…you…you do?"

"Of course, Isa, who else would I pick?"

She chewed at her lip. "You…You're not just picking me because we're friends…right?"

Hange rolled her eyes. "Of course not, Isa. I'm picking you, because you're good at what we do. I want you on my team for you, not because we're friends."

Isa couldn't stop the overjoyed smile taking over her face.

All three of us have come so far.

Isa watched as Levi left without a word.

Hange looked at Isa, a sly grin on her face. "So…tell me, what did I interrupt?"

"N-nothing…what makes you think you interrupted something?"

"Because your face was flushed when I came up and the looks Levi kept throwing at you, I'm surprised the ground didn't catch on fire."

That annoying red crept up Isa's face again. "Hange…I-I don't know what you're talking about. I highly doubt he was looking at me like that."

Hange gave Isa an unamused look. "Isa…I've seen how he looks at you. There's something there."

"I highly doubt that."

"Isa. Listen to me. How many people does he hang around with?"

"That doesn't mean anything. We're…friends."

"I think the guy is interested in more than just friendship."

"That's just not possible."

Hange sighed. "Your fear and insecurities are blinding you Isa."

"Or maybe they show me the truth and not what I want to see." Isa crossed her arms over her chest, avoiding eye contact with her friend.

Hange's eyebrows shot up to her forehead. "Oh, so you do want something more?"

Isa froze as she realized the slight slipup. "I'm done with this conversation. Goodnight, Hange."

She walked away from her friend who merely gave an amused goodnight in response.

She lay in bed, restlessly tossing and turning, the memory of the near kiss playing endlessly through her mind.

Had he really been about to kiss me? It…looked like it, but how can I be sure? And was it because he wanted to? I'm so clueless with all of this stuff and I don't know what to do.

She could still feel the warmth from his body, his breath on her lips as they'd neared. Remembering the look in his eyes, she shivered. She'd never seen a look like that directed towards her, and she didn't know how to describe it.

Did I imagine him leaning closer? Is all that in my head? Was he glad that Hange showed up?

What was that look? Was he trying to tell me something? Or was that look all in my imagination? Is my mind just playing cruel tricks on me because of how I feel for him? Is it just letting me see what I want to see and not showing me the truth?

Was he actually pulling back, and I was the one that kept leaning forward?

She couldn't help but wonder what it would have felt like if their lips had met.

Are his lips rough like him? Or smooth, contrasting his normal personality, and reflecting the sweet side only I get to see?

Does he kiss slow and leisurely, taking his time? Desperate? Demanding? Would it have consumed me like I always read about in those romance books?

How would I have felt? How would I have known what to do? I've only ever been kissed twice before, and only one of those I was okay with.

How many people has he kissed before? Done…more with? He doesn't strike me as the type to be as inexperienced as me.

What if he had kissed me and found me lacking?

Sighing, she closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep, two blue orbs ever present in her mind.

She was laying out by the lake looking up at the starry sky. The crisp air sent goosebumps washing across her skin. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. As she lay there, footsteps crunched the leaves on the ground as someone walked towards her.

When she opened her eyes, he was standing there above her, watching her with hooded eyes. In the night, his eyes looked more blue than gray. The ever-changing color of his eyes intrigued her to no end, and she felt as if she could drown in them.

Right now, she didn't understand why she had ever thought he was so hard to read. Looking at him right now, his face was an open book. Desire written all over as his eyes raked down her body. His gaze sent tingles all over her and it felt as if he were stripping her naked with his eyes alone.

He sat down beside her, and she sat up. Her mouth went dry as they locked gazes. She wondered if his heart was pounding like hers, if his breath was picking up like hers.

Almost simultaneously, they both moved, lips meeting in a clash. His mouth moved over hers as if he were drowning and she were his lifeline.

She laid back and he followed, stretching his lithe body over hers, lips never breaking. His hands were moving under her shirt, teasing her nipples through her bra. His touch sent an ache down her body that ended between her legs. Instinctively she arched up to meet him, feeling his hardness, wishing there were no clothes between them.

With a quick yank, he pulled her shirt off of her, exposing her skin to the moonlight. Her bra was next, and she was laid bare before him. He took her mouth once more in a deep kiss, before making his way down her jaw, neck, chest, running his tongue across her nipple. He took her into his mouth and suckled, and her hips bucked into his, a low moan filling the air.

The ache between her legs was growing to an almost unbearable sensation. As if sensing her need, he slowly kissed his way down her body until he reached her pants. She watched as he slowly undid the fastening and drew them down her legs. Her flush deepened as he spread her before him.

Leaning in, he met her gaze as he licked his way through her folds, drawing a whimper from her as her hips bucked up. Chuckling, he brought an arm to wrap around her waist, holding her in place. One of his fingers teased her opening as he drew her clit in his mouth. Currents of pleasure raced up and down her body as he teased her.

She gasped as he plunged a finger into her, followed by a second. Her pleasure built slowly as he licked at her, sucked at her, pulsing his fingers in and out, until she was almost over the edge.

Before she could leap, he pulled his fingers out, and quickly removed his clothes. She watched with hooded eyes, panting, as she took in his lean, muscular form. As her gaze stopped on his length, she tensed, fingers clenching in the ground before her.

Sensing her nerves, he leaned back over her, meeting her lips with his, coaxing her to relax, promising her that he wouldn't hurt her.

He grasped himself in his hands and ran his length from her clit to her opening and back again, building her pleasure once more. Right as she was about to leap off the edge, he plunged deep inside her, and she exploded around him.

Isa woke up panting, throbbing as she took in her surroundings. Looking around her, she realized she was in her room, her friends still asleep. The dream had left her with an unbearable ache between her legs that begged her for relief. Considering she shared a room, she couldn't do anything about it here.

Did that dream seriously come from that moment where it seemed like he was going to kiss me? Or is it just months of pent-up desire showing its face again?

A look out the window showed her that the sun was gently peaking over the horizon. She would need to be up in a couple of hours for training. Resigned, she decided she may as well begin the day early and deal with this ache or she'd be useless otherwise. Picking up her shower supplies, she made her way to the shower room.

She entered one of the stalls, locking the door behind her. This early in the morning, she'd have the entire room to herself, which was exactly what she needed.

Turning the water on, she took a moment to bask in the hot water, as it soothed her muscles. Hands taking a mind of their own, they ran down the length of her body.

She imagined they were his hands teasing her nipples as they had in her dream. One of her hands slowly made its way down her body, until it reached in between her legs. Leaning against the wall, she slowly stroked her clit, building the pleasure once more. Reaching further down, she plunged a finger inside herself, imagining it to be his cock entering her as it had in her dream.

She bit back a moan as her finger moved lazily in and out of her, her other hand went to tease her clit, stroking and stoking the coil deep inside her. Eyes closed, her breath picking up as the coil tightened and tightened deep within her, almost to the point of pain. Desperate for relief, she increased her pace, until the coil burst, and she gasped out his name, Levi, as shudders wracked through her body.

Not yet satisfied, needing more, she pushed further, fingers delving inside her as she built the pleasure up again. She swirled her fingers over her throbbing nub, pushing past the sensitivity.

Her other hand was now clenched in a fist against the wall, her teeth biting her lips to hold back the sensual moans. Her fingers reached back inside her as her hips moved to meet each thrust, her thumb now circling the pulsing bundle of nerves. It was his fingers on her clit, his cock deep inside her, pounding her into oblivion.

More, harder.

"Fuck, Levi." She moaned his name, breathless as the need tightened once more, her walls clenching around her fingers as she neared the second peak.

Breath coming in pants, she imagined his eyes hovering above her as his voice called out in her mind, commanding, come for me.

She exploded around her hand, hips jerking as the orgasm threatened to bring her to her knees.

His name escaped her again, the helpless need surrounding it. She couldn't help but wonder what the real thing would be like, if just imagining him brought her a release like this.

She slowly came down from the high as the throbbing finally eased. She quickly showered and dressed, relishing in the hum that was running through her body.

As she left the shower room, not paying attention, she bumped into someone and dropped her things on the floor.

"So sorry about that, I didn't see you there," she said as she knelt to pick up her belongings.

"I've told you before that you should do a better job of watching where you're going."

Her eyes widened and the blood drained from her face. Her gaze raised to see Levi standing above her. She gaped at him, a flush quickly overtaking her face as she recalled the dream, and her heated shower session, both of which he'd been a very important participant in.

He knelt down to help her pick her things up, flicking her forehead in the process. "What's your problem?"

"I-I..." Words failed her. Nothing came to mind. There was only one solution. Grabbing her things from his hands, she stood and fled, leaving a very confused Levi in her wake.

Dammit, he probably knows what I was doing in there. There's no way he wouldn't be able to figure it out. Shit. Shit. Shit. Well, as long as he doesn't know I was imagining him, then it's alright.

Fuck, just why? Why does the world hate me?