The next morning, Isa was in the mess hall, enjoying the ration of porridge they were given, desperately trying to forget the feel of Levi's lips on hers.

She had wondered before if kissing him would be consuming.

It had been, and more, so much more.

She had been completely swept away the moment his lips had met hers. Everything around her, the sounds, the smells, had vanished. Her senses had been filled with only the smell of him, the taste of him, the feel of him, nothing else had registered. A titan could have burst into the tavern and she wouldn't have noticed.

She wondered what he'd felt.

Hange…Hange said that she'd seen the way he watched me after…could he?

He…he did go along with the kiss to begin with, when he had pushed Uma away when she made a move on him.

She hadn't noticed that she'd stopped eating, and that she was chewing on her lip as the thoughts raced through her mind.

C-could he?

But…but I asked him to go along with it, so was it just him going along with it?

But…Hange…she…she said she thinks he feels more for me than friendship…could he?

The way…the way he held me last night…could that have been something? He's not one to hold people close like that…or was that just him trying to comfort me after sharing some of my past with him. He doesn't normally do that though…

He only ever lets me hug him too…does that mean something?

And when he pressed his forehead against mine…I…I've only ever seen him do that with his mom, in his memories. If I had leaned in to kiss him…would he have kissed me back or pushed me away? Was he trying to tell me he wanted me to? Was he testing me? To see what I'd do?

And…that look in his eyes, on his face, after…after we kissed…Hange said that that had been more than just a 'normal male reaction.'

Could he?

Something was bubbling inside her that was akin to hope.

The memory of him pressing his forehead against hers kept playing in her mind, her stomach jangling with nerves and excitement.

M-maybe…maybe he does?

Someone plopping down in the seat beside her pulled her from her thoughts that were sending a flooding heat rushing through her body. When she looked up and saw Uma, her eyes narrowed.

"What do you want?" Her voice was terse.

Isa was even more irritated when Uma had the nerve to recoil at the distaste in Isa's voice. "I…I wanted to apologize for last night."

Isa's brow shot up. "Apologize?"

"Yes."

Isa had to pause for a moment to push down the anger rising in her. "You have some nerve."

"I know."

They sat in silence.

"Well?" Her voice came out harsher than she'd intended, but she honestly did not care.

Uma jumped. "I…I know it doesn't change things, but I really am sorry." She looked down at her hands which lay in her lap. "I…I really like Levi, and I was jealous of your relationship with him, and the other day, when I made a move on him and he rejected me, I…I was even more jealous. I told Anna about it, and she came up with this plan, thinking I'd feel better if I watched someone else get rejected by him."

Isa's arms crossed across her chest, her glare growing chillier by the second. "So you tried to use me to make yourself feel better."

Uma's eyes clenched tight. "Yes."

Without another word, Isa stood to leave the mess hall. A hand on her wrist stopped her from moving.

Uma glared at Isa. "So you'll forgive Sherri, after the way she treated you, but you won't forgive me?"

Isa yanked her arm out of Uma's grasp. "First, I don't owe you an explanation, it's my business who I decide to forgive." She had to struggle to keep her voice steady. "Second, I never said I wouldn't forgive you, I just need time to process your stupidity. Third, how dare you compare what you did to what Sherri did. She was grieving. There's a difference between grieving the loss of a friend, and petty, vindictive, childish bullshit."

Uma flinched at the hostility. "You're right, I…I'm sorry Isa, I'm so sorry."

As Isa turned to leave, Uma's next words stopped her in her tracks.

Uma faced forward as she spoke, watching Isa out of the corner of her eyes. "I…I can tell he sees you as a really good friend. We've both seen the women who throw themselves at him, he'd never go for someone like you or me right? I should have known better for making a move on him. But don't worry, your secret is safe with me. I don't want you to get hurt."

Isa's heart froze at Uma's emphasis on the word friend.

'Sees you as a really good friend.'

Tears pricked at her eyes as her heart shattered. The seeds of doubt that had long since taken root, began to grow at the fuel it had just been given, overriding any hope she'd had that he felt more for her.

See Hange, Uma knows that he sees me as a friend, nothing more, nothing less.

Even though it hurts so much to know that, it's the truth. It has to be.

She just wants to make sure I don't get hurt the way she got hurt.

I…I can't believe I was even considering the idea that he saw me as more than a friend. I…I feel so stupid.

I need to get out of here before I start crying. I really can't let her see just how badly the thought of him only seeing me as a friend affects me.

Isa left without another word, making her way to the stables, needing a break from people. She tried to ignore the sorrow building in her, focusing on the frustration at Uma's irritation that she hadn't automatically forgiven her.

The nerve of her, how dare she try to compare the two situations.

How dare she get pissy with me because I didn't immediately write off what she did.

I'm probably going to forgive her, because I get it. I get being embarrassed at rejection. That's why I've never made a move on Levi myself. I value the friendship I have with him and wouldn't risk it for anything.

But dammit I need time. She embarrassed the shit out of me with her petty bullshit. I'm not going to jump to forgiveness just because she apologized.

I'm still trying to figure out how I'm supposed to keep acting normal with Levi. How do people do this? How do I hide what I feel?

'Sees you as a really good friend.'

Walls I'm an idiot.

"Isa!"

Dammit, can't I just be alone right now. I feel like I'm about to break.

She kept walking, ignoring the person as she entered Luna's stall, and collapsed on the floor against the wall, drawing her knees in close so she could rest her head on them.

She was alone for a couple of moments when the stall door open.

"Isa, are you…are you alright?" Sherri's worried voice had Isa blinking back tears.

She turned her head to the side, giving her friend a feigned smile. "Of course, I'm just...tired is all."

Sherri looked down at the ground, hands fiddling with each other. "Isa…what happened last night, please you have to believe that I had nothing to do with that."

Isa was surprised at that. "Why would I think that?"

Sherri's hands clenched together. "Just...because I know I've been awful to you in the past, and I was there when Uma gave you that ultimatum...I was afraid you would think I was a part of that." Her voice trailed off, fear and apprehension ever present.

Isa patted the ground beside her and waited for Sherri to sit before she spoke.

"I know you had no part in that. One, because Uma never mentioned you in her little plan. Two, you did what you did before because you were grieving, not out of spiteful jealousy. I know you would never do something as petty as that."

Relief flickered across Sherri's face. "You do?"

"Of course. Besides, I could tell that you regretted what you had done. Uma apologized to me just now…and for some reason, it felt off." Isa's brows furrowed in concentration. "Probably just my imagination though."

"Did she say why she made you do that?"

"Well, she said she'd tried to make a move on Levi a while back, and he turned her down. Which is true, because that's what he told me last night. Apparently, Anna then came up with this scheme to make Uma feel better by embarrassing me."

Sherri thought for a moment, gathering her thoughts. "Maybe the apology sounded forced, because her plan backfired on her? I mean…I saw that kiss, we all did, it was intense. So if anything, she was the one embarrassed."

Isa ignored the rush that came from Sherri's observation that her kiss with Levi had been intense. "That makes sense, and probably explains why her apology was pretty pathetic."

"I think, if anything, the kiss probably made her more jealous."

She shrugged. "Yea, but I know he just went along with it because we're friends."

Sherri placed a hand on Isa's shoulder in an attempt to comfort her friend. "No Isa, that's definitely not true."

Isa's arms crossed over her chest. "It…it has to be. Before I kissed him, I told him that Uma and Anna had sent me over to embarrass me, and I asked him to go along with it. He even said later that he didn't mind doing that if it meant putting them in their place."

Sherri took Isa's face in her hands, bringing Isa's gaze to hers. "Isa, that was more than just him going along with it. He pushed Uma away when she made a move on him, but he kissed you, doesn't that tell you something?"

She didn't want to hope again. "But—"

"Tell me, Isa, how are your interactions with him? Does he tease you? Find random reasons to touch you, even simple ones? Or even just watching you, for no reason at all?"

Isa's mind immediately went to her banter with him, how he let her tease him, and how he teased her back.

The way he'd poke her or flick her forehead.

The way he'd held her last night, his hushed heartbeat echoing in her ear.

His forehead resting on hers, those beautiful eyes full of questions. The way their noses had brushed ever so lightly.

The way he'd ruffle her hair which always sent her heart fluttering.

'I can tell he sees you as a good friend.'

Uma's words kept echoing in her mind, washing away any hope that was trying to build up inside her. "I…I…no—"

"Isa just—"

Fear took over her as she yanked her face out of Sherri's hands, gaze now glued to the floor, arms crossed even tighter against her. "Dammit Sherri, I said no." Her voice broke on the word no, and was harsh, harsher than she'd intended, but self-doubt and insecurities were taking control, tears pricking in her eyes again.

Sherri flinched, but chanced placing a hand on her friend's shoulder. "I'm…I'm sorry Isa. Please, I just want you to be happy."

Isa sighed. "I…I am happy. I'm happy being Levi's friend if that's all he wants from me. I just…I can't imagine him seeing me as more than a friend. Yes, there have been times where he's done the things you said, but…I do similar things with you, Hange, and Uma, and I only see all of you as friends. His friendship means too much to me, and I'm not willing to risk that."

"And…" Her voice got smaller, meeker. "…I can't…I can't handle that sort of rejection. It's just better this way." A few tears escaped her eyes, making her feel more pathetic.

Sherri drew her friend into a hug, saddened when her friend's body shook as she tried to hold back tears. She was unsure of how to make Isa see that she could tell Levi thought of her as more than a friend.

She'd seen the way he was with her, the way he acted around her, looked at her. He was sweeter, kinder. She'd seen his face that day when she'd come across the two of them on the training ground. It had been uncertain, but…almost hopeful. He was hard to read, but there had been something there, she was sure of it. She was certain he'd been about to say something to her, and she'd been the one to, unfortunately, interrupt them.

She'd seen his face after Isa had kissed him, and when she'd walked away. She had never had a man look at her the way Levi had looked at Isa in that moment. It had been more than just desire, there had been something else playing beneath the surface.

She worried that the only way Isa would be able to see, would be if Levi made a move, and she could tell that he had his own insecurities holding him back, making him ridiculously slow.

A week later, Isa found herself sitting in Luna's stall, sketching as she so often did, and was growing worried about the current situation.

Since the fall of Wall Maria several months prior, the situation inside Wall Rose had worsened.

The people were hungry, tense, unemployed, broke, homeless, and the small level of control the Military Police had over everyone was slowly breaking down.

Isa feared that if something wasn't done soon, chaos would break out. But she wasn't sure what could be done. There weren't enough jobs for everyone, and not enough places for housing. The ability to cultivate enough food for everyone had been severely weakened with the amount of land they lost.

People were growing frustrated that the Military was still decently fed.

Isa wanted to scream out that they forget the "Police" in "Military Police," since they were the ones who got the decent rations.

The Scouts' rations had been decreased to the following.

One small bowl of porridge in the morning.

One piece of bread and a small bowl of vegetable stew for lunch, and then the same for dinner.

They were obviously free to go out and buy more food, but they didn't exactly get paid a lot to begin with, and funding had been drastically cut since less people were working and more resources were going out to feed them.

Isa had money stored away that she'd never really used, but it wasn't a large store.

Not only that, but people were more hostile than before when it came to the Scouts, making it difficult to go to a nearby town or district. If someone did want to go, it was wise to avoid wearing their uniform to avoid any harassment.

Isa wasn't sure what could be done. They were limited in space, food, supplies, which is where the problem was starting. There was no getting back the land they lost when Wall Maria fell. They'd have to plug the hole first before even trying to clear out the titans.

That, in and of itself, was an impossible task.

She wanted to know what had happened to the titans that had broken through. They were calling them the Colossal Titan and the Armored Titan.

She hadn't seen either of them, but she'd heard the rumors and stories.

The Colossal Titan had apparently been so big, the people could see its head towering over the wall, covered in nothing but muscle. The Armored Titan had been covered with what looked like hard armor, which is most likely what had allowed it to break through the gate.

But where had they gone? They just vanished into thin air? How does that even happen?

A chunk of bread plopped onto her lap, pulling her out of her thoughts. She blinked at food, and then looked up, smiling when she saw Levi standing outside the stall.

"Where did you get this?"

"Doesn't matter, eat."

This wasn't the first time he'd brought her food. For some reason, he'd taken it upon himself to bring her bits of food at random times. It wasn't every day, but it was consistent enough that she wondered about it. It was never much, but it sent a warm rush through her, just at the idea that he'd thought of her enough to bring her food.

She didn't know where he got it, and hope that he wasn't stealing. Not because she cared if he did. She just didn't want him to get in trouble for her sake. She also didn't want him to be spending his money on food for her, there wasn't a need for it.

She was grateful, nonetheless.

She smiled up at him. "Thanks Levi."

He shrugged. "I've seen how you eat, you can't be satisfied with what they're giving us."

Her jaw dropped. "Well that's a sure way to win a girl over, making fun of the amount of food she eats." She couldn't help but laugh, not offended in the slightest. If anything, she was touched that he'd thought of her. "Always the gentleman."

"Always the pain in the ass."

"For that, you're gonna do something for me. Sit."

Isa laughed at the pure look of horror that crossed his face. "Are you insane? That floor is filthy."

She smirked at him. "You'll be alright, unless you're telling me a little bit of dirt is too much for Humanity's Strongest."

He glared at her, grumbling about the title, but complied.

She couldn't help but giggle at his reluctance. "Alright, now just stay there and don't move."

She flipped to a new page and started sketching.

It was unnerving, drawing him as he sat there in front of her, watching.

Those piercing eyes were trained on her, and she was starting to regret this as her breath hitched ever so slightly whenever she had to glance up and look at him. Her heartrate slowly picked up its pace as it began to thrum in her ears.

Then again, having him sit while she drew gave her the excuse to admire his features without having to worry about getting caught staring.

As she sketched, she noticed all the little details about him that always intrigued her. The way his bangs lazily flopped over his forehead, the silky strands gleaming in the sunlight. The hairstyle suited him, with the hard line of his undercut, and the silkier, richer strands above it.

The almost delicate eyebrows that didn't take anything away from his masculinity, if anything, it made him look even stronger. The way they could furrow in concentration, agitation, frustration, amusement. His eyebrows were ridiculously expressive.

The circles under his eyes that had continued to darken over time. She knew he had trouble sleeping, and she could tell it had gotten worse the longer he spent in the Scouts, and it worried her. She wished she could take away the nightmares that plagued him, even if for only a night, just so he could get some rest.

The fullness of his lips. Her free hand came up of its own volition to her own lips as she was reminded of how they'd felt, moving over hers. She'd never thought she would be capable of feeling such molten desire. Now that she knew what he tasted like, she wanted more. She desperately wanted to feel his lips on hers again. She wanted his lips on her, roaming her body. She could practically feel them on her, moving further and further down until

Snap

She looked down and realized that the charcoal in her hand had snapped. She could feel the telltale redness creeping up her face. She only hoped he hadn't noticed her physical reaction.

A glance up to him did nothing to ease her nerves. His face and eyes gave nothing away as always. Or more so, she couldn't read anything in his face or eyes.

She got back to work, focusing on other details now. The strength in his shoulders and arms as they crossed across his chest. Each time she'd hugged him, even though he'd been unsure of what to do, she could still remember the feel of his lean muscles in his chest, back and arms. Those same muscles had tensed in uncertainty when she'd hugged him, but had relaxed ever so slightly as he'd brought his own arms up around her.

When she moved down to his waist, she couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to wrap her legs around his waist, as he slammed her against the wall.

Her eyes widened at the thought.

Dammit Isa, get it together.

As she moved to his lower half, she tried desperately not to blush when she had to draw his crotch. Uma's words came back to her, playing in her mind involuntarily.

'Surely you've heard that guys like him are short because all their height went somewhere else.'

She couldn't help but wonder if there was truth to that statement.

I can't help but wonder what he looks like. According to Hange, Sherri, and Uma…there are...variations in size. Length...something I think called 'girth?'

My imagination is limited to what I saw in those drawings back in Mitras.

Surely it couldn't be too big...it would show through his pants wouldn't it?

She blushed when she chanced another glance at his crotch, the way the fabric of his pants bunched up around him.

It doesn't seem like there's anything out of the ordinary there...but then again, would it only show if he were aroused?

What would it feel like to hold him in my hand? Take him into my mouth? I would have no idea what I'd be doing. Sure the books I've read gave me an idea of what men and women can do to each other, but they aren't exactly instruction manuals.

Usually the books would say things like 'she took him into her hand, grasping lightly, marveling at the feel of him.'

I would probably just make a fool of myself. He'd be so annoyed to be with someone so inexperienced, so clueless.

Dammit stop thinking about these things.

Snap.

"That's the second time you've broken your charcoal. Keep that up and you won't have any left." His amused voice broke her trance.

A nervous chuckle escaped her as a flush began making its way up her neck. "Yea, it's…a new charcoal…a bit more…umm fragile than I'm used to, so it breaks more easily."

Hopefully he believes that…Walls I don't want to imagine his reaction if he knew what I'd been thinking of.

His only response was a raised eyebrow, and she couldn't fully tell if he believed her or not. She forced those thoughts out of her brain as she moved on.

His legs were so strong. The man carried so much strength. She knew that even though he was on the smaller side, he held the strength of someone Erwin's size, no, he was even stronger than Erwin. She remembered how he'd fought with Erwin. If anything, it had looked like Erwin had struggled against Levi.

She honestly doubted that there was any person who could hold their own against Levi, and yet, he wasn't arrogant about it. She was certain that other people would let that sort of strength and skill go to their heads, yet, he didn't. He knew he was strong and skilled, but he also knew that he was human, and she admired that modesty in him.

She was regretting more and more at having him sit for her as she drew. But at the same time, she hadn't been able to resist the temptation of being able to draw him in real life versus drawing from her memory.

She could feel her physical reaction to him, her arousal building throughout her body. It was a wonder he couldn't sense it. She was amazed that she could have such reaction just from being near him, though she imagined a large part of that was because she now knew what he tasted like, how he kissed.

Each time she glanced up, she saw him, simply watching her with those eyes that always saw too much. She wanted to know what he thought, what he felt.

Did he feel anything from that kiss? Was it any good for him? Does he want me? At all?

No...that has to be a no right?

Except...

Hange says he feels more for me than friendship. Ethel says the same. And Sherri. They're all extremely perceptive people.

But...people can still be wrong.

Wouldn't he have made a move or something by now if he did?

What would he do if I went over there and just plopped myself on his lap and kissed him?

I just...I can't imagine someone like him ever wanting someone like me.

He said his type is 'not annoying.' Surely there's more to it than that.

Does he find me annoying? If he found me annoying, then he wouldn't spend time with me, right?

How do people even handle this sort of thing?

Plus, Uma said 'he sees you as a good friend.'

So now I have different people telling me different things.

How do I know who to believe?

I really need to stop thinking about this. There are more important things...

I mean...yea we're fighting for Humanity, but...a lot of the people around me fight for Humanity because they want a better future for their loved ones. Parents. Siblings. Aunts. Uncles. Grandparents. Husbands. Wives. Children. Friends.

So, is it really all that bad to think about these things?

Why did I have to fall in love with someone as difficult to read as Levi?

Then again, I think I'd have trouble reading anyone, so the who doesn't matter. All that matters is that I love him, and there's nothing I can do to change that.

And there's nothing I'm going to do about it either. I'm not risking my friendship with him because of this. I promised him I'd be here in whatever way he needed, so that's just what I'm going to do.

Like Uma said, he sees me as a friend, nothing more, nothing less.

She finished up her drawing of him and looked up at Levi, smiling at him. She patted the ground beside her.

When he sat next to her, she handed him her sketchbook, showing him the drawing of him.

He's already seen that I draw him, may as well just show him.

She watched as he looked over the drawing of him. She'd somehow managed to capture the amusement in his face as he'd sat there.

"This isn't bad."

"You think so?"

He poked at her forehead. "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't."

She watched as he turned back to her sketchbook, flipping through the pages.

"You've added some new stuff here."

"I like to draw in my free time, helps take my mind off things."

"Like what?"

"Just the usual, training, expeditions, being Hange's second, the situation inside the walls, the stupid things my friends do."

You.

He hummed in agreement.

When he paused on a drawing of Furlan and Isabel, she couldn't help but smile at her friends.

She'd drawn the three of them on that first day when they'd joined. It was one of her favorite memories of them. Isabel and her spunky, determined expression. Furlan and his upside-down salute. Levi, with his calculating expression that took in everything around him, daring anyone to hurt the ones he cared most about.

She looked at Levi's face, and saw the content smile as he took in the drawing of his beloved friends. She placed a hand on his, and his gaze shot to hers, full of emotion, the smile still ever present.

"You can have that if you want."

His eyes widened slightly, and he seemed unsure of what to say to that. She just gave him a smile and squeezed his hand. Pulling the sketchbook out of his lap, she gently tore out the drawing of them and wrote a little note at the bottom.

To Levi,

A reminder of the best people I've ever met.

Isa

He gently ruffled her hair. "Thanks."

She nudged him with her shoulder. "Of course."

She was the first to break the gaze, afraid that he'd see too much. "We should probably go. We have that meeting with Erwin soon."

He groaned. "Erwin and his damn meetings."

She giggled leaning her head against his shoulder, looking up at him. "Well how else is the Commander of the branch supposed to relay information to his subordinates. I would have thought his most devout follower would leap with joy at a meeting with him."

His eyes narrowed, the amusement in his eyes contradicting the glare. "Pain. In. The. Ass." Each word was emphasized with a flick to her forehead.

She laughed, rubbing at her forehead. "Ow, alright alright."

He got up, holding out a hand to help her up.

She smirked at the action. "How gentleman-like."

He rolled his eyes. "Do you want my help or not?"

She chuckled, but grabbed his hand, laughing harder when he practically yanked her up. "How would I ever mistake you for a gentleman, when you are clearly, a grouchy ass?"

She stepped away from him so she could stretch out her back, and it cracked from having sat for so long.

She bent to pick up her things, storing them back in her satchel. She turned to Levi. "Ready?"

"As ready as I can be."

"That's a good devout follower."

"Stop."

She smiled innocently at him. "No."

As they walked back inside the main building, Isa thought she heard a noise coming from the cellar where Levi had interrogated her so long ago. She made her way over to the stairwell and down to the cellar, and was shocked to see Uma sitting there, sobbing.

She raced over to her friend, pulling her into her arms. "Uma, what…what's wrong?"

Uma could only cry, unable to get any words out. Isa held her tighter, unsure of what to do. She looked down and saw that Uma was holding a letter in her hand.

"Can I?"

Uma made no protest when Isa gently pulled the letter out of her hand and began reading.

Uma,

This is your mother's doctor writing to you.

I'm sorry, but your mother passed away in her sleep last night.

Rest assured that she felt no pain and died peacefully in her sleep.

Please reach out to me with any questions. I'm sorry for your loss.

Grisha Jaeger.

Isa gasped. "Oh Uma, I'm…I'm so sorry. I had no idea your mother was sick. Why didn't you say something?"

"I…I didn't want to burden you guys with my problems."

She pulled her friend in tighter, swiping the tears off her cheeks. "We're friends, that's what we're here for. You could never be a burden on us. You may do stupid things, but that doesn't mean we stop caring about you."

Uma pulled back, and her face paled when she saw the person standing at the door.

Isa turned and was surprised to see that Levi had followed her.

Uma's gaze dropped to her hands in her lap. "Levi, I'm…I'm so so sorry for what I did. I should never have used you for something so petty."

He shrugged. "I'm not the one you need to be apologizing to."

Her eyes squeezed shut. "I…I know. I…I apologized to Isa, and it's up to her whether or not she wants to forgive me. Whatever she decides, I'll respect."

Isa knew in that moment that she couldn't hold a grudge against her friend.

She pulled Uma in for another hug. "It's alright, you're forgiven."

Uma sniffled. "I…I am?"

"Yes, just…don't do something so stupid again, alright?"

She shook her head. "I won't."

"I'm sorry, but I have to leave now. We have a meeting with Commander Erwin, but if you need me for anything, you know where my room is. And I mean it Uma, anything at all."

Uma gave Isa a small smile. "Thanks Isa, you're a really good friend."

Isa poked her friend's shoulder. "Don't you forget it."

Isa rose and walked out of the room, pausing when Levi took a moment to follow.

As he walked out, she noted that he looked…concerned. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, as if trying to figure something out.

He gave her a curious look. "Why did you forgive her?" He kept his voice quiet so he wouldn't be heard by anyone other than Isa.

She shrugged as she started walking, not wanting to be late for their meeting. "There's not really a point in staying mad at her. What's done is done. Besides, she's so broken up about her mother, and I didn't even know she was sick. What kind of friend would I be if I abandoned her right now over something so petty and childish?"

The concerned look didn't leave his face, his eyes calculating as he thought over what he'd seen. "There's just something…odd about her."

"Odd?"

"I'm not sure what it is, just…watch yourself around her."

Isa gave Levi a bland look. "You…you do remember how much you hated me at the start right? Are you sure this isn't the same thing?"

She giggled when he flicked her forehead. "I didn't hate you, I just didn't trust you. There's a difference."

"Levi…you threw a knife at me."

"True, but you yourself said that if I had wanted to hit you, I would have."

"So I was right about that." She smirked at him. "I knew it."

He huffed in amusement. "As if you ever doubted you were." That same concerned look came back to his face, wiping away any trace of amusement. "No…what I'm getting from her is something different. With you, I just couldn't believe, or, didn't want to believe that you were as friendly as you seemed. Uma…something is off with her."

"Always the pessimistic grouch. I'm sure it's nothing, just you being you."

He rolled his eyes, smirking at her. "Such a pain in the ass."

She gave him a light nudge with her shoulder. "Well, you're friends with me, so you'll just have to get over it. I'll deal with you being a pessimistic grouch, and you can deal with me being a pain in the ass."

"Do I have a choice?"

"Nope, you're stuck with me." A smug grin took over her face.

He feigned an irritated sigh.

Laughing, she said, "Now who's the pain in the ass?"

"Just…promise me something." Again, the amusement was gone almost instantaneously as concern took over.

"What?"

"Promise me you'll keep your guard up around her."

"I really don't—"

His hand on her arm stopped her mid-step as he turned her to face him. "Promise me."

She was a little startled at the seriousness of his face, the concern written all over it. She lifted a hand to the one that rested on her arm, giving it a light, reassuring squeeze. "If it makes you feel better, fine, I promise. Though I'm getting better at defending myself, I do have a good teacher."

He ruffled her hair, giving her a small smile. "You're not there yet, but you will be."

She rolled her eyes before continuing their trek to Erwin's office, ignoring the jolt in her heart she always got whenever she got to see his real smile. "Can't give me one thing, can you?" She grumbled, yet amused, nonetheless.

See, this is easy enough. I can do this, I can pretend I'm not in love with him.

Just have to ignore all the physical reactions, and I'll be okay.

I hope.

As they approached Erwin's door, she raised her fist to knock.

"Name and business."

"It's Isa and Levi, sir."

"Enter."

She opened the door, and saw that Hange, Mike, and Mike's second in command, Nanaba, had already arrived. Mike had also been promoted to Squad Leader when Erwin took over as Commander.

Isa remembered Nanaba from one of the previous expeditions. The blonde-haired woman had become highly skilled in her time with the scouts. Levi's second was also there, a man with blond hair tied back in a bun named Eld.

They're…they're so skilled and have only been here a short time. I've been here a little more than two years now…do I deserve this role?

Isa took her place beside Hange, and Levi stood on her other side.

Isa noted the grim look on Erwin's face and grew worried. The last time he had looked so morose had been when he'd told them Wall Maria had been breached.

What is he about to tell us? Surely there can't be worse news than the wall being breached.

In his usual matter of fact tone, he said, "The upcoming expedition has been placed on hold for the time being. The royal government has determined a course of action on how they wish to deal with the shortage of food."

Isa could feel the knots in her stomach tightening.

What are they going to have us do?

Erwin continued. "They are recruiting citizens from Wall Maria and will have them aid in an attempt to take back Wall Maria."

Isa's jaw dropped.

What! They're...they're going to take civilians, people who have no training whatsoever...and send them out into titan territory.

"Have they lost their mind?!"

It took Isa a moment to realize she'd spoken aloud, and that all eyes were now on her. Her face flushed, but she didn't regret her words.

This is insane. How in the world do they think this is a good idea? Sending people out there, who have never been around titans to try to take back Wall Maria.

The look on Erwin's face made it seem as though he agreed with her. "Whether or not that's the case, we have our orders. We are leaving tomorrow for Trost. Elite members of the Garrison will be joining us. Each team and squad will be given a section that they'll be in charge of. Civilians will be assigned to one of those sections. The next week will be spent in giving brief seminars to the civilians. Next week is when the operation to retake Wall Maria will commence."

Isa's brows furrowed in irritation. "So of course, the Military Police will be nice and cozy, safe in the interior as always. As well as the nobles." Her voice only grew more hostile and angrier. "No, of course they wouldn't send those people to their deaths. Just the people they deem useless or a burden."

A small smile ghosted around Erwin's lips at Isa's words. "You are correct in that."

She was honestly surprised to receive agreement from him versus a reprimand for speaking out of turn, though it didn't bring her any relief. Regardless of if he agreed with her, that didn't change the fact that they were essentially going to be sending civilians to their deaths.

He gave them a grave look as he continued. "Make no mistake, there's going to be death. More death than you could possibly ever see. We're going to do our best to limit that. Prepare yourselves and prepare your squads and teams."

Isa didn't know what to say. What to think.

This is not going to end well.

When they arrived in Trost the next morning, Isa realized the situation was worse than she could have imagined when she saw exactly which citizens had been recruited.

Surrounding her were people who were either sick or old or injured. Or a combination of the three. People whom the government had deemed a burden on society and could not contribute.

This was their way of relieving that burden.

This is ridiculous. These people have absolutely no business in leaving the walls to fight.

The next week was spent giving brief instructional sessions to the civilians. She had suggested to Hange to break her section into smaller groups and have each squad member go over the basics with a different group each day, versus trying to present to a large group all at once.

There would not be enough ODM gear or horses for everyone, so people in the Military would obviously have their gear, along with the most able-bodied civilians. The remaining individuals would have a small amount of blades to carry with them.

Isa assumed that the large number of civilians would be used to draw in the titans closer, so that the people with gear could attack.

This is going to go to shit, real soon, real fast.

I can't believe this is happening. I know we need to do something about the food shortage, but dammit, sending out the weak is not the way to go.

The day they were set to leave the walls approached faster than she would have liked. She was walking through Trost on her way to find Hange and Erwin, when she felt a tug on her jacket. Looking down she saw a little boy with blond hair and blue eyes, the one who she'd seen with the green-eyed boy.

"Hi there." She have him a small smile.

"Hi." His voice was innocent and childlike, contradicting the fearful look on his face. "I remember you. I've seen you ride through Shiganshina. You're a Scout, aren't you?"

She gave him a fierce salute, in an attempt to wipe away the morose look on his face. "Indeed. Isa Tudor, second-in-command of Squad Hange at your service. With whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?"

The little boy giggled, bringing a smile to her face at the small success.

Her smile widened when the boy gave his own salute. "Armin Arlert, of Shiganshina."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Armin."

He giggled again, and Isa marveled at the childlike innocence of it, at the fact that he was even able to do so, when he came from Shiganshina, where the wall had fallen.

This child is adorable. The horrors he must have seen, I don't know how he manages to smile, but he is precious. No child deserves to see their home devastated by the titans.

I'm sorry you had to go through that, Armin.

"So you're going outside the walls."

"Yes."

"Can I ask a favor?"

She crouched down to his level.

"Sure."

"Can you...can you watch out for my grandfather for me?"

That took her by surprise. "Your grandfather is someone else they're sending out there isn't he?"

He nodded.

Anger filled Isa. The royal government was willing to sacrifice people who had no business going outside the walls, and the idea was ridiculous.

She knew she couldn't promise to bring his grandfather home, she didn't want to give him false hope. She knew that anything could happen outside the walls, and she had the sense that he knew too.

But she could promise him one thing.

She put her hands on his shoulders and gave him a serious look. "I can't promise you that I'll be able to bring him back alive, but I'll promise you this. I will do my best to help him and will do my best to keep him safe. I'll make sure he's placed in the section my Squad Leader's in charge of so I can do just that."

What he did next surprised her.

He wrapped his arms around her in a fierce hug, which she returned with ease.

"Thank you."

She stroked at his soft hair, hoping she was providing some form of comfort to the boy. "Of course, sweetheart. What's your grandfather's name?"

"Roger Arlert."

"Can you point him out for me, so I know who to watch out for out there?"

Armin pulled back and pointed at a man with brown hair, a thick beard, and a mustache. He had on a straw hat.

"Alright, I will do my very best to keep him safe, but like I said, I can't promise that I'll be able to. Now you go say goodbye to your grandfather while I go take care of things from my end."

His head moved in an enthusiastic nod.

"One other thing, Armin."

"Yes?"

She sighed. "Make sure you tell your grandfather you love him alright?" Her eyes grew serious. "I promise I'll do my best to keep him safe, but I want you to make sure he knows that going out. Sometimes, knowing we have someone inside the walls that we love and who loves us gives us the motivation to keep fighting."

"Do you have someone you love?"

She gave him a sad smile as a stoic man with piercing eyes came to mind. "I do."

That same innocent smile overtook his face as he gave her another hug. "Good, I want you to come back safe too."

"You're a sweetheart Armin. Now go, I need to go talk to my Commander alright?" She gave his hair a ruffle before she stood to make her way to where Erwin, Levi, and Hange stood.

She saluted Erwin before speaking. "Sir, I'd like to request that one of the civilians be placed in Hange's section. Please."

Erwin gave her a look and nodded. "Which civilian?"

Before she could answer, a voice behind her had her heart plummeting to the pits of her stomach and her blood draining from her face as her entire world crumbled around her.

"Isa dear?"

Eyes wide and pained, she turned slowly, and her worst fear was confirmed when she saw Ethel standing behind her, holding a set of blades, and looking frailer and smaller than she'd ever seen.

She looked out of place.

She could feel the blood in her veins freeze. There was only one other thought that ran through Isa's mind before it shut down in shock.

Why is she here?

A/N: Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought, if you want! :)