She watched as Levi's face morphed into one of shock. His eyes had widened, his brows were raised, and his mouth had dropped.

She was honestly impressed with herself. It was a rare thing to see a shocked Levi. She'd outdone herself.

He recovered quickly and brought his hands up to her shoulders, as if to make sure she was real, and this wasn't a dream. "The Underground?" She could hear the disbelief in his whispered words.

"Yes."

He blinked, irritation and what she thought might have been worry filling his eyes. "Why the hell would you want to go there?"

She raised a brow at his reaction. "Did you see my memory?"

"Yes."

Her chin raised in determination. "So you saw that my mom told me about those journals that she'd kept hidden in our floorboard? I intend to go get them."

"Journals." His tone was incredulous.

"Yes." She kept her voice firm and matter of fact, fully intent on seeking out those journals.

"In your home from fourteen years ago."

"Yes."

His brows furrowed, narrowed eyes full of concern. "You do realize those journals may not even be there? That apartment may not even be there?"

"Yes."

"Are you insane?"

Her shoulders shrugged under his hands. "Possibly. But I have no choice. I have to get those journals if I can. They're all I have left of her, of my parents."

His hands clenched tighter on her. "Do you even remember where you lived?"

She could tell he wasn't happy with the idea, but she could also tell he knew there would be no talking her out of it.

Her brows knit together as she tried to call back the memory of her true childhood home. "I…I don't, at least not the exact location without seeing it. But that place in your memory? I remember seeing it outside my window."

His forehead fell onto hers as he looked down at the ground, hands still clenched on her shoulders. She watched as he took in a deep breath before speaking, bringing his eyes back to hers. "Fine, but I'm coming with you."

Now it was her turn to gape at him.

He rolled his eyes, amused exasperation filling them as it attempted to push aside the worry. "Don't look at me like that. It's not that shocking."

She blinked, still having trouble believing it. "I just…never would have expected you to willingly go back there."

His gaze filled with a protective light, voice firm with no room for argument. "I'm not about to let you go there alone. The last time you were there was when you were a child, and your parents were still around to protect you. They'd eat you up alive in there. You've improved in defending yourself, there's no doubt about that, but the people down there are ruthless."

She chewed at her lip nervously, not liking the idea of him going back to a place that he'd spent so long trying to escape. "But…are you sure? I know you don't have the best…memories about that place."

He brought a hand up from her shoulder to lay on the side of her face, a small smile filling his. "Don't worry about me. I don't know how many times I have to tell you this. We'll get through these things together, always." His voice was soft, reassuring her that he would be okay.

She brought a hand up to the one that still lay on her shoulder, eyes intent on his, despite the fluttering in her stomach that always came from looking into his eyes for too long. "So how exactly do we go about this?"

He sighed, brows furrowing again as he tried to formulate a plan. "I'm going to send a letter to Erwin letting him know you've remembered something that may include important information regarding the titans. And then…then we're going to the Underground."

He paused for a moment, before bringing his other hand to her face, cupping it gently, his gaze more serious than she'd ever seen. "Isa, I need you to understand something if we're going through with this."

Trying to ignore the heat from his hands, she nodded slowly. "Okay."

He stroked her cheeks lightly with his thumbs. "Life down there is nothing like life up here. Down there, it can be kill or be killed. I need you to know that, understand that. I'm going to be right there with you, but anything can happen, so you need to be fully prepared to defend yourself to the fullest, even if that means taking the life of someone else that's threatening you to protect you and your own."

She swallowed thickly at the thought. It hadn't crossed her mind, but he was right. Sometimes, it's kill or be killed.

She brought her own hands to encircle the wrists of his that still lay on her face. "I won't lie to you…I…I hadn't thought of that, but don't worry, Levi, I'm prepared. I remember everything you've taught me. One of the things that ran through my mind when I was fighting Uma, was that I'm not done fighting until my opponent is dead, knocked out, restrained, or too injured to move."

His thumbs brushed lightly across her face again, sending that same warmth through her that she always felt. "Exactly. It may not come to that, but I need you to know what you may be getting yourself into."

Her thumbs brushed at the backs of his hands, wanting to reassure him. "I'll be fine, Levi. I'm going to fight for my parents. It's what they would want me to do."

Her heart thrummed at the warmth that came into his eyes, though she could still see the faintest hint of worry.

They made their way back to Stohess, stopping to buy some inconspicuous clothes. They would need to blend in with the other people in the Underground, so they bought clothes of cheap material, tearing them in places so that they would blend in.

Isa waited as Levi wrote a letter to Erwin, marking it as urgent so that it would arrive by the time the Scouts had returned from their expedition the next day.

She followed Levi as they made their way through Stohess, towards the entrance to the Underground. Her stomach was twisting in knots at the thought of going down there, and she felt guilty that Levi was coming with her, but she was determined to at least try.

They walked through the entrance, showing their identification to the Military Police officers standing guard, and began making their way down the endless steps.

They were about halfway down when Levi stopped, placing a hand on Isa's arm, his hand coming up to rest on her face, fingers threading into her hair.

"What is it?"

"I need you to promise me something."

"What?"

His eyes bore into hers, desperately needing her to understand the seriousness of his coming words. "Stay close to me, no matter what. And I know you like to look around and take in the sights but…please, just…please pay attention down here. I'm right here with you, but…I need you to pay attention."

She thought she could see the slightest bit of worry, of fear in his eyes. She placed a hand on the one he had on her arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Don't worry, Levi. I won't let my head get stuck in the clouds. It'll be easy since there are none." She hoped that her small joke would ease his worries and was relieved to see the fear in his eyes slightly fade.

Her breath huffed out of her when he pulled her in tight, arms wrapping around her, hand coming up to clench in her hair. His face was buried in her neck, and she could feel his shaky breaths against her.

She brought her own arms around him, hand coming up to stroke at his hair. "It'll be okay, Levi. I promise, I won't do anything stupid, I'll stay by your side, and I'll pay attention. I won't get distracted. It's going to be okay."

He pulled back so he could cup her face in his hands, fingers threading into her hair. She watched as his eyes roamed her face before placing a firm kiss on her forehead.

She swallowed thickly, trying to fight off the flush creeping up her face when he released her and continued walking down the steps.

She took a deep breath and followed, fully intent on keeping her promise to him.

I will not get distracted. It's too dangerous down here for sight-seeing. I didn't like seeing that fear in his eyes, even if it was slight. I…I know him well enough to know that if even that small bit was showing, he must be truly afraid.

Fear doesn't look right on him either.

Don't worry, Levi, I'm going to listen to you. You're the one with the experience on life down here.

The closer they got to the bottom of the stairs, the darker the area got. She could feel the air growing cooler, sending chills across her skin, and she drew her cloak tighter around her.

In certain areas she thought she caught the faintest scent of sewer, though she wasn't surprised. She vaguely remembered that puddles of sewer water were all too common, as water from the pipes above them dripped down on the ground below.

At the bottom, Levi turned to wait for her, making sure she was near him at all times. She refused to break her promise to him, knowing he was only looking out for her, doing his best to keep them both safe. She trusted him with everything she had.

When she was next to him, he stopped her again so he could draw the hood of her cloak over her head, before doing the same with his. Her breath hitched as his hand came up to graze down the side of her cheek, before he turned to start walking, Isa right next to him.

As they walked, Isa realized that Levi's description of the Underground had been beyond accurate.

Dark, dirty, half-dead people all over the streets.

People of all ages could be seen on the streets wherever she turned her head. She vaguely remembered that people in the Underground often lost the ability to walk, and she realized that what she'd imagined had underestimated the reality.

She swallowed thickly when she realized what could have been for her. She was by no means grateful for what had happened in her past, but the thought of living, no, not even living, it was as if everyone here was merely existing, their will to live long gone.

She looked at the man walking beside her, and her admiration for him, for Isabel, for Furlan, skyrocketed.

To have come from such an awful place, to have persevered and survived, and still retain their morality, was an amazing feat.

"Hey, still with me?"

Her eyes met Levi's as they walked, and she could tell he was worried that she was daydreaming. She reached out to give his hand a squeeze and gave him a reassuring smile. "I'm still here, don't worry. Just…wasn't what I expected. I expected the worst, and to see it exceed my expectations caught me off guard."

"I know. There's no way to warn people of what they're going to see when they come here."

"There really isn't. I…I don't remember it being this bad. Has it always been like this?"

He nodded, and she could tell he was alert and observant of everything around them, even if he was facing forward as they walked. "For the most part. Your memories are filled with your parents, and your interactions with them. Probably blocks out the parts like this."

She lost track of how long they walked, the run-down buildings blurring together as they all began to look the same, but she kept pace with Levi as they made their way to the area she'd seen in his memory.

It was their only lead, so they'd have to start there.

She couldn't tell which buildings were abandoned and which had residents, they all had that same deteriorated look.

Some sections they walked by had merchants selling goods that most people wouldn't be able to afford. She could see run-down, hole-in-the-wall taverns littered throughout, people turning to the drink to escape the horrors of poverty.

She'd never seen a brothel in real life, but somehow, she could tell which buildings provided those services. Something about the patrons entering and leaving, that look as if they were trying to hide something, hoping no one they knew would spot them.

Isa followed Levi when he turned down an alley, and as they walked, she heard fast paced footsteps coming from behind her. She turned to look and saw a person wearing a cloak heading right for her.

She didn't have time to react as Levi shoved her out of the way, and she fell to the ground. She looked on as the person ran by, knife slicing out against Levi's arm as they did, Levi's grunt of pain had Isa's heart clenching.

Before either of them could do anything, Isa heard the telltale whirring sound of ODM gear, as the person sent out a grappling hook to the top of a nearby building, pulling themselves up and out of reach, before moving out of sight.

Levi's brows narrowed, eyes glinting with irritation. "Dammit, I had a feeling that someone might still be using that gear. Other people were starting to realize the benefits of it, I just hadn't expected anyone to have learned to use it."

Isa didn't care about any of that. She'd already jumped back onto her feet, hurrying over to him. "Levi, are you alright? Let me see your arm." Before he could respond, she'd already moved his cloak and yanked his sleeve up, relieved to see that the cut wasn't deep, the length of maybe a finger.

He smirked at her reaction. "Relax, don't worry about me, I've had worse."

"It's my job to worry, ask all of our friends."

He huffed in amusement. "I don't have to, I've seen it myself."

They kept moving, not wanting to waste time. Isa turned her head to say something to Levi and what she saw had her heart dropping to her stomach.

She watched as Levi stumbled, leaning back against the alley wall, hand covering the cut on his arm. "Levi, what is it?"

He looked at her, confusion in his eyes. "I'm not sure. The cut isn't that bad, I've had worse."

Her eyes went wide and her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach when she watched him slide down onto the ground, slumping in a heap on his side.

She collapsed onto her knees beside him, grabbing onto his hand, fearful at how cold it was. She hadn't even noticed the tears on her cheek. "Levi, tell…tell me how to help."

He struggled to keep his eyes open. "You…you need to get out of here. You can't…be here…alone." She could tell it was getting harder and harder for him to talk.

"No!" She couldn't stop the way her lip trembled, her other hand coming up to lay on his face. "I'm not leaving you by yourself!" Her voice cracked.

A weak smile formed on his lips as his eyes closed. "Always…so damn stubborn."

She sniffled, a weak laugh escaping her despite the situation as her thumb brushed across his cheek. "I don't care, I'm not leaving you." Her hand squeezed tight onto his. "You need to stay awake, Levi. We…we can get you inside a building so I can look at that cut on your arm."

His eyes opened briefly, and a weak hand lifted to gently graze down her cheek. "You're so beautiful." His voice was a whisper as his eyes drooped closed.

"Nononono. Stay with me Levi, we need to get you up." Her attempts to rouse him were unsuccessful, and she didn't know what to do.

She checked his neck and was relieved that there was still a pulse, though weaker than she would have liked, and she could see his chest rising with ragged breaths.

Fear was trickling in, as the hairs on the back of her neck prickled. She couldn't help but feel as if they were being watched.

She had no idea where to go, or even how to get him off the streets.

'Are you going to cry, or are you going to fight?'

I'm going to fight for you Levi. You always keep me safe. Now it's my turn to keep you safe.

She wiped at the tears on her face, forcing the fear away. She'd deal with that later.

Right now, she needed to focus.

First, I need to get you someplace safe so I can check this wound, clean it, stitch it if it needs it, and figure out why you had this reaction to it.

I'm going to protect you, Levi. I promise.

She looked around her and saw what looked like an abandoned building nearby, but then again, most of the buildings looked that way.

She wasn't sure how she was supposed to get Levi in there.

She heard footsteps coming from behind her and she sprang to her feet, whirling around, slamming the person against the wall, her knife at their throat. She was a woman protecting the man she loved, and she refused to let anything happen to him. She would do everything in her power to keep him safe.

The older woman kept her voice calm, as if not wishing to startle further. "Child, I understand your suspicion, but we don't have time. I can help you and your lover. You just need to come with me."

Isa's eyes narrowed as she looked on at the woman with suspicion.

What would Levi do?

Would he take the help? Or refuse it?

Maybe take the help and just constantly be on guard? I don't have much choice. I can't carry him by myself and I need to get him off the streets and inside somewhere so I can stitch him up.

She lowered her knife, tucking it back into her boot as she glared at the woman, eyes flashing with warning. "Fine. But try anything and it'll be your head on a stake."

The woman chuckled, humor lighting her eyes. "Don't worry child, I'm not going to hurt you or your lover."

"He's...he's not my...lover." The word sounded foreign to Isa. She'd seen it enough in the books she'd read, but to say it felt...strange, but also…right.

"Ahhh, I see, but you want more, I can tell. You love him."

Ignoring the question, she kept her tone curt. "Are you going to help or not?"

The woman didn't say anything else, merely walking over to Levi, Isa in tow. The woman lay the sheet she'd been carrying down on the ground, and with Isa's help, moved Levi onto it. They lifted either end of the sheet, and began walking towards the building the woman lived in.

Isa was surprised at how heavy Levi was for someone so small. She hadn't expected him to weigh this much.

Despite her suspicion for the woman, she was grateful for her help.

Thankfully, her building was close by, and they walked inside and up a flight of steps, entering a small, run-down apartment.

Isa and the woman lay Levi carefully on the bed in a curtained off area that was the makeshift bedroom.

"How did you know to bring a sheet?"

"I happened to be looking out my window and saw the two of you walking and when you were attacked. I was surprised at how easily your attacker backed off, but I think I know why. I need to see his wound."

Isa kept her eyes fixed on the woman, a protective light gleaming in them. "Remember what I told you. Don't test me."

The woman sighed in understanding. "Relax child, I'm not going to hurt either of you."

Isa pulled her knife out of her boot, not willing to risk it, as she watched the woman roll up Levi's sleeve.

Isa's heart clenched when she saw the surrounding flesh covered in raised bumps that were turning different shades of purples and greens.

"What is that?" Her voice was breathless, fear tying her stomach into knots.

Isa watched as the woman's brows knit in frustration. "It's what I was afraid of. One of the local gangs has started covering their weapons in a poison." The woman's voice was lined with irritation. "They give one of their victims the slightest cuts, weakening them, so they can come back later to get what they want and finish them off."

Isa fought to speak through the lump in her throat. "What do we do?"

The woman paused as she tried to think of a solution. "I've heard there's a salve that's been used that's supposed to help fight off the symptoms and rid the body of the poison."

Determination filled Isa's as she pushed back the fear, hands clenching into fists, ready to move. "Where do I find it?"

"There's a doctor, he lives a few houses down who I believe makes this salve. But it's expensive."

She waved her hand in the air in frustration. "I don't care about the cost, just tell me where to find him."

"It'd be better if I went, I know where he is."

"No." Her voice had taken a curt tone once again. "I'm younger, I'm faster, I'm going. But don't you dare try anything while I'm gone, or I will make you regret it."

The woman gave her directions on where to find the doctor, and with a final warning look, Isa left.

She had her knife in one hand that she kept hidden under her cloak, and though her body and eyes were relaxed, she was watching and listening all around her. Daring anyone to come near her.

She found the doctor's house, and pounded on his door, not letting up until a short, older man with graying hair answered.

"Yes, can I help you?" He regarded Isa with vague curiosity, as if surprised to see someone young and healthy at his door.

"Are you Frank?" Her tone was clipped, matter of fact, needing to hurry and buy the salve so she could return to Levi. She was worried about leaving him alone for too long with a complete stranger.

"Yes."

"I'm here to buy some of the salve you make for people who have been injured with poisoned weapons."

"I'm so sorry, I only have one jar left, and I have it saved for someone else. Come back another time." He made to shut the door, but Isa threw an arm out, keeping it open.

Refusing to back down, her desire to protect the man she loved fueling her determination, she grabbed the man by his lapels, pushing him inside as she kicked the door shut, and slammed him against the wall.

She brought her knife up to his throat, eyes hostile as she glared up at the man, refusing to back down. "No." Her voice was a threatening, icy growl. "Absolutely not. I will gladly pay however much you want for this damn salve, but I am not leaving without it. If I have to kill you to get it, then I will do that. Do not, test me."

She saw the look of fear in his eyes, but in that moment, she didn't give a damn. Perhaps at another time she would have been shocked by her show of aggression, but in that moment, she was too determined to protect, willing to do whatever it would take to save Levi. She was not going to let him die because he had pushed her out of the way, and if that meant killing this doctor, then she'd do it.

She watched the doctor swallow as he realized the seriousness of her words. "F-fine, but I want triple the cost."

She released him. "Done."

She followed him into a back room where he grabbed a lone jar of salve off a shelf. She gave him the money, taking the salve from him.

"How big is the cut?"

"Not big, maybe the size of your pointer finger, and not too deep, but might need some stiches."

"I'd hold off on the stitches for another day. Put about a teaspoon's amount of salve on the wound every four to five hours. You'll need to work to keep the fever down. He should be fine in a couple of days."

As she walked out, she turned back to look at him, eyes narrowed in a cold glare rivaling Levi's as she jabbed her knife in his direction. "If I find out that you didn't give me the salve, I will come back here, and I will kill you. So you'd better be damn certain this is the right jar."

She watched as Frank swallowed at her threat, voice lined with fear as he spoke. "It is miss."

Without another word, she walked away tucking the jar in a hidden pocket of her cloak, door shutting behind her with a firm click. She knew better than to walk around with something valuable in her hand. She quickly made her way back to the woman's apartment, desperately hoping that she'd been right to trust her.

As she threw back the curtain, she let out a relieved breath to see that Levi was fine and that the woman was placing some wet cloths on his forehead.

"I've got the salve."

"Good, he's got a fever, which is normal from what I've heard, but the salve should help some. Give it here."

"No, I'm putting it on him."

Following the instructions the doctor gave her, she gently rubbed a small amount of the salve on the cut on Levi's arm, and settled in the chair beside the bed, prepared to spend as long as needed by his side until he was awake.

She sat at his bedside switching out towels every now and then, keeping the fever away, and every few hours, she added more of the salve.

She couldn't help but think back to his last words before he'd passed out.

'You're so beautiful.'

She wanted to know if he'd meant that.

Does...does he actually find me beautiful? Maybe he thought I was someone else.

Why...why would he find me, of all people, beautiful?

Hange, Nanaba, and Nifa's words, they helped me feel beautiful…but I still don't see myself as beautiful. And after the run in with that woman, it's even harder to see that.

I…I can see that I'm not ugly or plain like they'd told me for years. I can see I have some nice enough features…I think.

Words that have been drilled into you since childhood don't go away after a week.

But beautiful?

Beautiful is the sunset ending the day.

Beautiful is that first look at the sky when we cross under the gates.

Beautiful is the rainbow we see after a storm.

Beautiful is a fresh blanket of snow.

Beautiful is when the sun casts its early morning glow across the land.

Did he...did he mean it?

'Stop asking questions you know the answer to."

I can't help it, Levi, after so many years of being told I'm anything but beautiful...I…I don't know Levi.

Why am I even thinking about this right now? I need to focus on keeping you safe Levi. Just like you always do with me.

Isa lost track of how long she sat there next to Levi, switching out wet towels and placing more of the salve on his arm. When she heard the curtain shift as the woman entered the bedroom area, Isa pulled her knife out, gripping it tight, eyes narrowing as she dared the woman to try something.

Humor filled the woman's eyes at how protective Isa was being. "Child, you need to eat something, come."

Isa shook her head firmly. "No."

"You won't do him any good if you faint from hunger."

"I don't care. I'm not leaving him alone."

The woman sighed. "Alright child, I expected as much, so here, I brought you this. At least eat something."

Isa eyed the bread and potato suspiciously.

"It's not poisoned if that's what you're worried about. Look." Isa watched as the older woman tore off a piece of the bread and the potato and ate it. "See, now please, eat something. You need to take care of yourself too."

She warily took the food from the woman, taking a careful bite of the bread. As she did, she realized she was ravenous, and scarfed down the food.

She glanced back up at the older woman still standing in the curtained off area. "Thank you."

She gave Isa a welcoming smile. "If you need someone to chat with child, I'm right out here." With that, she walked back out.

Isa sat for a moment, and something compelled her to follow. She laid a hand on Levi's cheek, noting that it was still warm, but felt a bit cooler than earlier. She could hear that his breaths were still a touch ragged. "Levi, I'm going to be right out there. I'm not leaving you alone, I…I just need someone to talk to for a little bit, to distract myself so I don't fall apart. If I want to keep you safe, I can't fall apart."

She leaned down to place a sweet kiss on his forehead before walking out.

The woman was sitting at the table working on her knitting, and a thrilled smile filled her face as Isa walked in. "So you decided to join me? Wonderful. Sit, sit. I'm Marjorie."

Isa sat at the tiny table in the only other available chair.

"What's your name child?"

"Isa."

"You're not from around here are you?"

Isa's eyes narrowed and flashed in warning.

No way in hell am I telling this person shit about who we are or why we're here.

Marjorie shrugged, understanding Isa's hesitancy. "Okay, I won't ask you about that. Your lover, what's his name?"

Isa rolled her eyes, shaking her head at the question. "I told you, he's not my lover, but his name is Levi."

An amused look crossed the older woman's face. "He may not be your lover, but I can recognize a woman in love. You love him dearly."

Isa's arms crossed tight across her chest as she looked away from Marjorie, tone haughty as she spoke. "I don't see how that's relevant or any of your business."

Her attempt to offend fell flat as Marjorie just laughed. "I guess it's not my business, but I can still see it."

Isa's eyes were wary as they came back to meet Marjorie's.

A knowing look passed over Marjorie's face. "You're afraid that something will happen to him before you're able to tell him."

Isa kept quiet, though she couldn't stop the lone tear that trickled down her cheek.

"Your love for him, you've never felt anything like it, and it scares you. You don't know what to do with it, how to fully express it. It's alright to be afraid, child."

Something compelled Isa to speak, something inside her telling her that she could trust Marjorie, at least trust her enough with this, her feelings.

Maybe it was the fact that if she had wanted to hurt either of them, she would have done so by now, she would have done so when Isa had left her alone with Levi.

Maybe it was just because Isa needed a distraction from the fear still raging deep inside her at the thought of something happening to Levi, of losing another person she loved, fear that was held down by the weakest of threads, threatening to snap.

"It's not just that." Her quiet voice was full of uncertainty.

Marjorie's brows raised as understanding filled her eyes, lining her voice in compassion. "Ahh, I see, you're worried that he doesn't feel the same for you. Child, I can tell he cares for you. When I was looking out the window, I could see his glances towards you, as if he needed to constantly reassure himself that you were still there."

A frustrated groan escaped Isa, as her head fell back. "Apparently you and everyone else I know can see that, but I can't."

"That's just because you're—"

Isa's head came back up as she raised a brow at Marjorie. "Blinded by my fears?" Her arms remained crossed as she shrugged her shoulders. "My friends have told me that many times, have told me that he wants more with me."

"Tell me, child, how does he treat you, what does he do?" There was a reassuring smile on Marjorie's face.

Isa wasn't sure how she felt about this woman. She reminded her too much of Ethel, which brought on a fresh wave of pain.

Sighing, she pushed it aside and thought back to all the little things Levi did. "He…he holds me whenever I ask him, sometimes without me even asking. He's taken care of me during a very low point in my life. He's kissed my forehead, stroked at my cheek. Sometimes he'll look at me with this soft look in his eyes," her eyes gained a dreamy, far-off look in them as she thought back to the way his eyes would hold a warmth in them that was only ever directed towards her, "and…and it takes my breath away, and I don't know what it means."

She looked down at her hands as she moved them to rest on the table, clasping together. "I…sometimes I feel like he does want more, that he cares for me as more than a friend, but…" She trailed off as her eyes grew sad, shoulders shrugging again, unsure of how to explain.

Marjorie set her knitting down, reaching across the table to place a light hand on Isa's. "You have insecurities that keep you from taking that leap of faith. It scares you to put your trust into your friends with something like this, it scares you that they may be wrong."

She lifted her gaze to Marjorie's. "Yes." Her voice broke on the word as her lip trembled, hating to admit it, hating that a complete stranger could read her so well.

A warm, empathetic smile filled Marjorie's face, as she gently stroked Isa's hand. "Do you want to live your life controlled by your fear?"

"Of course not." She pulled her hands away, clenching tight onto her arms as they wrapped around herself.

"Then why are you letting it?"

Isa kept quiet again as her gaze moved back down to the table, though another tear trickled down her cheek, frustration in herself growing that she kept letting herself be controlled by her fears and insecurities.

"You're afraid of losing what you have."

"Yes."

"You're afraid that you're misreading him."

"Yes."

Marjorie rose from her seat and moved to kneel beside Isa, placing her hands on her shoulders, though Isa still avoided her eyes. "Men can be difficult to read, but their actions speak volumes. I've met my fair share, and not many of them do the things your Levi has done unless they care deeply for the woman in question."

She lifted a hand to tuck some hair that had fallen out of Isa's braid behind her ear. "Some men don't know how to tell you how they feel, so they try to show you instead. And some men, the good ones, the rare ones, they don't push you if they aren't sure of what you want."

Her eyes snapped to Marjorie's, brows furrowing. "What do you mean?"

"I take it your Levi is a good man."

Warmth filled Isa at the thought of just how amazing Levi was. Frustrating, grouchy, grumpy, rude, abrasive, yes, Isa was all too aware of that. But behind that, the sweetest person she'd ever met, one who kept that kindness hidden behind a cold exterior.

How many people would go out of their way to help a friend grieve? To hold them, care for them?

I've seen how he is with his squad. Yes, he's still as abrasive as ever, but I can see how much he cares about them. He pushes them hard, the way strong leaders do, to make sure his subordinates are prepared and able to fight for their lives outside the walls.

He's hard on them because he cares, the same with how he is when he's training me. He's not going to sugar coat something because it might hurt my feelings.

An enamored smile filled her face, eyes sparkling with affection, temporarily wiping away the fear and sadness. "He's the best."

A gentle smile of her own crossed Marjorie's lips at the sight of pure love written across Isa's face. "Those men, they won't push a woman for more if they think she only wants friendship from him. They're honorable, have most likely seen how some men treat women, and don't want to be that way."

Isa frowned as she thought back to how Levi grew up in a brothel, the things he'd heard, the way he'd heard the men treat his mother.

She brushed away a tear that was trickling down her cheek, sniffling. "But still, I feel as if I'm so…obvious about my feelings."

Marjorie gave Isa's shoulder a light squeeze. "They may be obvious to you, but less obvious to others, especially to the man of your affections. His judgement is clouded by how he feels for you, keeping him from seeing what's in front of him."

Her frown deepened, brows furrowing as her eyes met Marjorie's, now with a helpless look in them. "I just…I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

Marjorie's hand came up to stroke tenderly at Isa's hair, eyes full of understanding. "You should stop worrying about what you're supposed to do, and focus on what you want to do. Focusing on what you're supposed to do just means you're letting your fears take over."

"But how do I show him I want more? I…I don't know how. I have no experience with any of this." Her lip trembled as she spoke, hating how inexperienced she was, hating that she'd never been given the chance to have those experiences as a child, as a teenager, that would have prepared her for moments such as these, not yet realizing that if she'd had those experiences, if she'd had a normal childhood, she may not have ever met Levi.

"That puts you in a difficult situation, I know. I can't tell you what to do, because those things need to come from you, or they lose meaning. My guess would be to let yourself just be in the moment. When you feel like he wants more, just do what you feel is right, and don't give your fears the chance to take over."

Isa sighed as she rose, rubbing her face with her hands in an attempt to keep the fatigue at bay. "I…I need to go check on him. I don't want to leave him alone for too long." She started walking back but paused when she heard Marjorie speak again.

"He's going to be alright child, he's strong, I can tell."

She looked over her shoulder as she spoke. "He is."

She walked back in to where Levi was still asleep. She sat in the bed next to him, switching out the cloth for a new one.

As she sat, she thought, taking his hand in hers, tracing small patterns on the skin. She reflected on her time with him as memories filled her.

Back to when she'd first met him, and he'd been surly and rude, keeping everyone around him as far away as possible, doing anything he could to protect his friends.

She remembered when he'd finally come to join her on the roof, and the small conversations they'd shared, slowly growing closer as the days passed.

She remembered falling in love with him, that night at the tavern, no longer able to hold onto that cliff.

She remembered the way he'd held her after Ethel and Sherri's deaths. The way he'd taken care of her, did everything he could to help her grieve. The way he'd went out of his way to give Ethel a place to rest next to her son, just so Isa would have a place to come to and visit her.

She remembered the way he'd jumped off Luna that night Uma had kidnapped her, as if he couldn't wait a second longer to be by her side, the way his hand had shook lightly as it lay on her shoulder, the sheer relief in his eyes.

She remembered the way he'd held her that night, as if he'd needed to hold her more than he'd needed to breathe. The way he'd carried her to his bed, as if he hadn't been ready to let her go just yet.

She remembered the way he'd come to her after her run in with Martha, how he'd asked her what she'd needed, and how he'd held her, once again, without hesitation.

Every day she spent with him, she somehow fell in love with him all over again, and each time she did, it was deeper than what she'd felt before.

And his words began to trickle through to her mind.

'What is your type?' … 'Not annoying.'

'Most people I find annoying.'

'I don't find you annoying, idiot.'

'Nothing she said was true.'

His words running through her mind had the ember burning even brighter.

I…I asked him, so long ago, what his type was, and he said 'not annoying.' I think there's more to it than that, but if that's what he mostly looked for, someone who wasn't clingy and didn't need him every second of every day…all those times he's told me I'm not annoying…

And…that night after Martha's cruel words…I didn't catch it at the time, but he said, 'nothing she said was true.'

He…he was saying he didn't agree with any of the words she'd said, and then…he called me beautiful earlier.

She looked down at Levi, eyes full of fearful tears, endless emotions running rampant throughout her, tying her stomach in knots, causing her heart to clench tight. She clutched tight at the precious necklace around her neck with her free hand, needing strength to make it through the coming days.

She desperately needed him to open his eyes, so she could see those beautiful blue orbs filled with that warmth that made her heart flutter, even if she didn't know what it meant, because she knew that something she'd done had brought that warmth, and she'd gladly keep doing it if she got to see it again and again, knowing it meant he was relaxed enough around her to let his guard down.

She desperately needed to feel his warm hand on her face as his thumb brushed gently across her cheek, that warmth that always made her stomach twist in nerves but somehow set her at ease at the same time, knowing that only she got to see the more affectionate side of him, that something about their friendship, relationship, whatever they were, made him comfortable enough to do those things.

She desperately needed to feel him ruffle or stroke her hair, in that way that always made her want to purr, the one that never failed to bring a smile to her face.

She desperately needed to hear him call her a 'pain in the ass' again, knowing he never meant it, the way she'd known he'd never actually thought Isabel was an 'idiot.' The same way she never meant it when she called him a grouchy ass. She didn't know when, but somewhere along the line, those names had begun to take an affectionate tone, even when said in a teasing manner.

She desperately needed to hold him close again, to feel his warmth surrounding her, making her feel safe, cared for, as if they were the only two people in the world and nothing else mattered, as if…as if she were the only one he cared about in this hellish world they lived in.

She desperately needed to see that beautiful smile of his, the one that she got to see more and more each day, the one no one else got to see but her. That small smile of his that told her he was truly content, even if only for the briefest of moments.

She desperately needed to hear that small laugh of his, knowing that for him, that was uncontrollable laughter. She could spend the rest of her days finding ways to get him to laugh, knowing that in those moments he was most at ease.

She may not always know what he felt for her, but she just desperately needed him.

She knew she could survive if something happened to him, she'd felt her own strength in the way she'd been able to move past the deaths of all her friends, even if she'd had help. She'd felt it in how she'd fought back against Uma and Derek.

But she didn't want to survive without him. She didn't want to deal with that pain of losing him, that pain of not knowing whether or not her friends had been right because she'd been too afraid.

In that moment, she realized something. She realized that if something did happen to him, she'd be filled with more 'what if' questions, and she had a sense that they would be worse than the 'what if' questions that constantly plagued her mind.

And then her mind gave her a glimpse of those thoughts.

What if he did want something, and now I'll never know, because I was too afraid?

What if he left this world thinking I only cared for him as a friend?

What if it's like Hange said, and I missed out on something amazing, because I was too afraid?

This…this feels worse than the 'what if' questions I have now.

For a second, she let her walls down, letting the fear completely push through as she brought Levi's hand up and pressed it to her face.

"Levi, please, please, I'm begging you," her voice cracked as she struggled to hold back her tears, "don't leave me yet. I need you. I'm not ready to lose you. I...I love you." The words came out on a broken whisper. "So much. Sometimes I look at you and I feel like I could explode with the love filling me. Dammit why can't I just tell you that. Why am I so damn afraid?"

She looked up at the face of the man she loved so much as he slept and leaned down to place a kiss on his cheek, a shaky breath escaping her.

Determination filled her, fueled by her fear of losing the man she loved. The sheer thought of him dying without ever having known she wanted more, without ever knowing if he wanted more, filled her with a terror she'd never felt, one that was far worse than any of her fears of being wrong or not enough.

Her brows furrowed as determination filled her. "If…no…when you wake up, I may not be able to tell you that I love you, but I'm going to tell you that I want more. I need you, Levi." Her eyes clenched tight.

"I want to be with you in every way possible. I want to hold you whenever I want, kiss you when I feel like it, I want to go to sleep next to you, wake up next to you, and yes I want you to be my first, and my only dammit, but only if that's what you want too." She paused, breaths growing unsteady as she fought back more and more tears.

She placed a tender kiss on his hand that she held in hers, before looking back at him, eyes full of promise and her love for him. "I won't let my fears stop me. Everyone keeps telling me you feel the same, that you want more too, and sometimes I feel like you do, so dammit I'm going to listen. I don't know how I'll do it, but I'll just do like Nifa said. In the moment, when I want to do something, I'm just going to do it, and not let my fear control me."

Despite the trauma she'd experienced, she was determined to not let it control her, just like she was determined to not let her fears control her.

She brushed at the bangs flopping over his forehead, loving the feel of the silky strands beneath her hand, before leaning down and removing the wet cloth so she could place a kiss with trembling lips on his forehead. Breaths shaking, her eyes were clenched tight as she fought to hold back tears, as she gingerly placed the cloth back in place.

When she opened her eyes, a stray tear escaped, landing on his cheek, and her hand moved down to the side of his face so her thumb could brush it away.

An affectionate smile filled her face, as she struggled to keep the tears in her eyes at bay, thumb stroking gently at the smooth skin of his cheek, his muted, ragged breaths filling the air.

"I love you, Levi."

A/N: Anyone think she's going to chicken out? Thanks for reading! :)