Levi rose, setting Isa back on her feet, tucking her hair behind her ears, cupping her face in her hands, wanting to make sure she was okay. She brought her own hands up to the ones surrounding her face, stroking lightly at them, reassuring him that she'd get through this. He leaned in to brush his lips gently across her forehead, and she hoped she'd never stop feeling those light tingles when he did that.

She pulled back so she could pick up the letter and her parents' jackets, tucking them into her satchel. She gave one last sorrowful look at her childhood home, before walking out with Levi, her hand held tightly in his.

He turned his back to her, letting her hop on again, and the feel of flying was just as exhilarating as before, even with the sadness of what had happened. She could tell he was trying his best to make her feel better, and it was working, the way he continuously cut corners when she least expected and changed his speed randomly had her giggling in his ears and holding on even tighter, knowing she was always safe when with him.

They made it to the steps that led up to Stohess and started walking back, leaving behind everything that had happened, not knowing there was a person within the buried city who was riddled with grief, loss, and anger.

At the top, they showed the Military Police officers their identification, proving they were citizens, allowing them to leave the Underground. Levi turned the ODM gear over to them, making a snarky comment about how they should do a better job in keeping up with their shit, and Isa had to hold back a giggle.

It was about midday when they left with their horses and began making their way back to base, or what Isa now considered home, or as close to the home she'd once had, she felt she'd ever get. She'd long since began to see the base this way. It was where her friends were, her family, where she'd fallen in love.

And she wouldn't change any of it for anything.

The ride back went by faster than Isa would have liked, though it was late when they returned, the last rays of the day's sun trickling over the horizon. She was almost tempted to never return, and just run off with Levi, even if it meant going back to the Underground so that they'd never be found.

But she knew that wasn't realistic, knew he'd never agree to that, besides, she missed her friends too, and imagined they were probably worried.

Isa wasn't surprised when she found Hange in the stables, who practically tackled her in a hug, before shaking her asking what the hell she'd been thinking. Isa told her she'd explain everything later, but first, she and Levi needed to meet with Erwin.

Hange didn't seem thrilled at the idea, but Isa promised that she'd share as much as she could the next day, once she'd gotten some rest.

Truth be told, Isa was exhausted. The few hours of sleep she'd gotten hadn't even begun to make up for all the sleep she'd lost, and she was relieved that the following day was their free day for the week, which she intended on using to catch up on as much sleep as possible.

The two went to meet with Erwin, knowing they would need to report to him since they'd been gone far longer than they had intended. She'd asked Levi if he was alright with her sharing the fact that she could see his memories with Erwin, knowing that she'd need a good explanation for why they'd been gone for longer than he'd said in his letter to Erwin. He'd told her it didn't bother him if she did, but it was her ability, her past, so to him, it was her decision to share, not his.

In Erwin's office, she explained how she was able to see Levi's memory, and how she'd seen a memory of her own while in Stohess of her mother telling her about some journals that held information on her abilities. She kept Levi's memories to herself, since the information was irrelevant to the situation, and in her opinion, none of Erwin's business.

At first Erwin seemed concerned that one of the most valuable members of the branch had followed Isa to the Underground, however, once Isa explained everything, his concern was replaced with intrigue.

When she showed him the letter from her mother, she thought he seemed giddy, or, giddy for Erwin, by what it said. His eyes lit up with something akin to hunger, hunger for knowledge, at her mother's mention of the truth, and to see that there were journals holding more information.

Erwin asked her what she thought about their history, and after glancing at Levi who was leaning against the window for reassurance, who simply nodded at her, she explained her theories to him, the inconsistencies in what they were taught, her own questions and thoughts about the Armored Titan and the Colossal Titan.

She watched as Erwin took everything she said in stride, no sign of surprise or disagreement in his face.

Before he continued, he asked her if Levi trusted her, though she thought it was more a statement than a question, and she confirmed without hesitation. It was then that he shared a bit of his own past, something he told her he'd shared with very few people, and she promised that anything that was said would stay within his office.

Isa learned that Erwin's father had gone missing when he was a child, though he knew he'd been murdered. The reason he knew, was because he'd been sharing his father's theories on the inaccuracies in the history they were taught.

Isa was shocked to hear that Erwin also believed that there were inconsistencies in their history, and that her parents murders weren't the only ones to have happened because they were suspected to know too much. Apparently, there really were people in the walls who didn't want the truth to be known, and anyone who was considered a threat was eliminated.

She thought it made sense, considering how the Scouts were the most hated branch within the walls. She had her suspicions that this was because those same people didn't want them to find out the truth of whatever was outside the walls, and when she brought it up to Erwin, he agreed.

She was almost…giddy to know that it was possible she was right about her thoughts and theories, and she thought back to what Armin had told her about the ocean and everything else that potentially existed outside the walls.

She wanted to know more, desperate for the truth, desperate to find her mother's journals so she could learn everything her parents had known, everything they'd known that had they had died for.

Erwin didn't have much to give about the jumble of letters at the end of her mother's letter, though he said it could be a code, and most codes of that sort would require some sort of key word to decipher.

He asked her if there'd been anything else in her old home, and she told him the only other things had been her old stuffed bunny and her parents' Military Police jackets.

She thought Erwin seemed as surprised as she and Levi had been to learn her parents had been in the Military Police. Erwin told her he'd see if he could find more information on her parents' lives when they'd been in the Military Police, see if there was maybe other clues or information that would help her find these journals.

He gave Isa instructions to try to learn to control this ability, and then they may be able to test to see who else it worked with, which she agreed to do, but only if Levi was willing to do so.

When he dismissed them, she followed Levi to his office, speaking as they walked.

She struggled to hold back a yawn, fatigue slowly creeping in, though she felt she had enough energy to practice this ability of hers, wanting to learn to control it so she'd never accidentally see another one of Levi's memories again. "Do you want to start now?"

He glanced over towards her, and she knew he was gauging her energy level, knew she was exhausted, but she wanted to go ahead and start, even if it was only for a little bit. "We can, I probably have paperwork I need to catch up on, but it can wait until later."

"I'll help you with that."

"You don't have to."

She reached down to give his hand a reassuring squeeze, letting him know she didn't mind helping him. "I do it for Hange all the time, besides, if you're helping me with this, I'm helping you. We're friends, Levi, even if we're…more than that now, we'll always be friends…right?"

He turned his head to look at her, a soft smile on his face. "Always, Isa."

She followed Levi into his office, sitting next to him on his couch, though she wasn't sure where to start. She knew that, based on the letter, she would need to be touching him and want to know something, but wasn't sure how to approach it. He asked her if she remembered what she'd been thinking about at the times it had happened before.

She told him how she'd wanted to know more about what had happened to Kenny the last time this happened, and that the second time, she'd wanted to know if he'd ever lost someone before.

When he asked her about the first time it happened, she couldn't control the flush rising up her cheeks as she avoided his gaze. "I…I'd noticed your eyes were more blue than gray like I'd thought, and I thought they were nice…I remember thinking I wanted to see more of them."

When he didn't respond she glanced up at him, to see he was also avoiding her gaze, the slightest hint of pink on his cheeks.

It's like when Ethel gave him a compliment?

Is he…is he not used to them?

Still avoiding her eyes, Levi cleared his throat before speaking. "It sounds like you need to be looking for something specific, maybe something vague won't trigger the ability."

She took a breath, still not liking that she was able to see his memories. "If…if we're doing this, if we're going to have me practice accessing your memories, then you're going to need to tell me what memories to look for. If I can control this, then I'm never going to use it to try to find a memory you aren't ready for me to know. You know I'd never do anything to break your trust."

He brought his eyes back to hers, and she could see the pure trust he had for her in them, and it sent a thrill to her, knowing he trusted her as much as she trusted him. "I know, Isa. If that's what you feel is best for this, then I'll tell you what to look for."

Isa spent the next hour or so with Levi, practicing her ability, and found that it was relatively simple to use. She needed to ask or want to see something specific. She could either ask her question out loud or she could think it, but anything vague resulted in nothing.

After about five or so memories, she could feel that splitting headache coming back, and even though she wanted to continue, to keep trying, Levi said they should pause for the night, saying that even stubborn pains in the ass need a break. She couldn't help but laugh at that, knowing he didn't mean it, no more than she meant it when she called him a grouchy ass.

She sat with Levi at his desk, filling out the main sections of the forms, leaving the spaces for things like his signature or information that only he could provide for him to complete.

A while back, she'd tried to help him with reading and writing, but found that he did perfectly fine on his own for the most part. Even if he thought he read slower than most, she knew that with time and practice, he'd read even faster, though, in her opinion, he didn't read as slow as he thought.

She was pleased to see that between the two of them, they'd managed to get through all the paperwork that had piled up in less time than if he'd been doing it alone.

She stretched, rolling her hand in the air "See what happens when you let me help. It's okay to let people help you, you know. Even stubborn, pains in the ass."

Her face brightened at the sound of his chuckle filling the air. "Maybe you're right."

She reached across the desk to poke at his shoulder, relieved that she was still able to joke around with him like this. She'd been afraid that she'd lose that ability to tease him because of her nerves. "I told you before, I can't be wrong about everything."

He shook his head in amusement before standing up from his seat. He walked to his bathroom so he could wash up and change, leaving Isa alone, and that was when the new thoughts began to trickle through, now that it was late and there was no other reason for her to stay in his office except for the fact that she wanted to.

She wasn't sure if she was supposed to stay or not. She wanted to, but she didn't know how to ask if he wanted her to stay. She knew he had said to focus on what she wanted, and not what she was supposed to do, but this was different.

I…I want to stay, I really do…I just don't know how to ask, or if I'm supposed to this early on, I mean…I don't even think it's been a day.

But…we've done it before, but now that we're…together, I'm not sure how to go about it.

Plus, those times were always about comforting each other, this would be more because we want to be together.

Uncertainty filling her, she got up from the chair, grabbed her satchel from the floor next to the couch, and left before he'd returned, walking back alone to her room.

She tossed her satchel onto her trunk, planning to deal with it the next day, grabbing a pair of shorts and a shirt, heading to the bathroom to clean up and change. She crawled into bed, settling under her covers as the exhaustion began to set in, and waited for sleep to take her, wishing she was with Levi, but not knowing how to ask.

Just as she was about to drift off, she heard a knock at her door.

Her brows furrowed, unsure of who would be knocking this late at night. "It's open."

Her eyes widened when she saw Levi walk in, shutting the door behind him before sitting down on the edge of her bed, angling his body so he could face her.

She sat up, legs crossing underneath the blanket. "Why…why are you here?"

His brow quirked up, lips twitching in amusement. "To ask you the same thing."

She avoided his gaze, chewing at her lip. "I…I wanted to stay, but I wasn't sure what you wanted, wasn't sure if I was supposed to, I didn't know how to ask if I could, didn't know if it was too soon."

He brought his hand up to rest on top of her head, turning it gently so that she faced him again, a small smile on his face. "I told you that you don't have to worry about what you're supposed to do when you're with me."

She drew her knees in, resting her arms on them, holding his patient gaze as she tried to explain why she'd left. "I…I know, but it can't always be just about what I want, it should be about what both of us want. It's one thing for me to do what I want and…kiss you first," she could do nothing to stop the flush from creeping up her face at her words, "but it's another thing for me to just assume you're okay with me staying the night with you. I…I know I've done it before, but this is different. Before, that was when one of us was upset about something, now…it's different now."

He ruffled her hair. "It doesn't have to be. Some of the things we already did, we can still do. The way I see it, only some things have changed really."

"Like what?"

She could see the affectionate humor that filled his eyes at her question. "For starters, I can do this now."

He leaned in, letting his lips brush softly against hers before pulling back, and she couldn't stop the shy smile on her face, couldn't stop the way her teeth bit gently at her lip.

I hope I never get used to him kissing me, I always want to feel this way, butterflies in my stomach when he looks at me, touches me, kisses me. I never want to lose this feeling.

"I may not always be able to sleep with you, you know I don't always get much sleep, but I, "she watched as he paused and took a breath before continuing, avoiding her gaze, "I like you being there."

She couldn't stop her smile from widening, eyes and face brightening with affection. "Really?"

He…he likes it when I'm there, the way I like being there?

He chuckled in amusement, eyes coming back to hers, and the sound was glorious to her ears. "There you go again, asking questions you know the answer to."

Her smile turned sheepish, as she shrugged her shoulders. "I know, I just…sometimes I like to hear it come from you, even if I know the answer."

Her brows furrowed as she tried to explain how it made her feel to hear the words come from him, instead of always coming to the conclusion on her own. "It's…I don't know, reassuring. Helps cut the noise from the thoughts in my head trying to tell me otherwise."

His hand moved down to rest on the side of her face, eyes filling with understanding. "Fair enough. Yes, I really do."

She brought her hand up to his, eyes lit with joy at knowing that he wanted her to stay with him as much as she wanted to. "O-okay, if…if you're sure you're okay with me being there, then…I'd like to stay with you more. I like being around you, even if it's just you at your desk and me on your couch. And, I…I feel safer around you. I was telling you the truth before, Levi, I only ever feel safe around you. Like…like nothing can hurt me."

He leaned close so he could press his forehead against hers, his thumb stroking at her cheek. "I promise you, I will always do my best to keep you safe."

"Can I…can we go there now?"

"If you want."

Before she could even try to stand, he'd already pulled her into his arms, cradling her in them, the heat of his hand on her bare thigh sending a languid rush through her.

She didn't know what it was about him that always had her wanting to tease him. Even if he had her tied up in knots, she loved nothing more than to tease him over the silliest things.

She sent him a sly look, one side of her mouth quirking up, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "My my, Captain Levi, what would all your subordinates and adoring fans say if they saw Erwin's most devout follower carrying a woman to his chambers."

She watched his lips twitched as he walked them down the hall to his office. "That mouth of yours is going to get you into trouble one day."

Her head against his shoulder put her in the perfect position. She wasn't sure what possessed her to do it, but something about how he'd reacted when they'd been in the Underground had her wanting to know if it could happen again. She wanted to try to keep finding ways to drive him crazy, the way everything he did drove her insane.

She leaned in brushing her lips across his neck, a jolt of excitement hitting her when she felt him shiver, before leaning up further to whisper in his ear. "Maybe I like getting into trouble."

He looked down at her, eyes filled with humor, though she though she caught the faintest hints of desire in them, a breathless chuckle escaping him as he shook his head. "Pain in the damn ass."

She let her head rest back on his shoulder. "You already admitted to not wanting me any other way, so you're just going to have to deal."

He opened the door to his office, shutting it with his foot. "Is that so?"

A smug look crossed her face. "Yes, there's no changing me, trust me, it's been tried and failed."

Her face brightened when she heard his breathless chuckle again. "So be it."

He gently set her on his bed, tugging off his shoes so he could lie down beside her.

She chewed at her lip nervously. "You don't have to, I don't mind if you have other things you need to do. I know you don't sleep a lot in any case."

He settled himself under the covers with her, shrugging. "It's fine. I want to, besides, we cleared out all the paperwork that had piled up."

She wasn't sure why she was so nervous, she'd stayed with Levi plenty of times before, but this time was different. She loved that he wanted her with him too, but she was still nervous.

She turned on her side to face him, faces separated by mere inches and she could practically feel the heat of his body radiating off of him.

She lay there, staring into those mesmerizing blue eyes, the ones that always kept her locked in place, drawing her in. Before, she would have turned away, but now, now she knew he wanted, just as she wanted, so even though she hesitated, she leaned in closer, a giddy feeling shooting through her when he did the same.

This would be the first time she kissed him in his bed, and the thought had her nibbling at her lip, but when his eyes shot to her lips at the act, a jolt of excitement hit her, reminding her that he wanted her as much as she wanted him, and it helped push her closer, waiting for him to close the distance.

Her breaths were mingling with his, her nose brushing up against his as she lay there, staring into those eyes.

He leaned in ever closer, pressing his lips gently onto hers, hand coming up to rest on her face as he tilted his head, exploring. She sighed into his mouth, her own hands coming up to cup his jaw, shifting ever closer so her chest was pressed against his.

Her breath hitched when his teeth lightly nipped at her lip, before soothing the sting with his tongue, and the feel had a gentle bolt of desire running through her.

So that's what that feels like.

I…I definitely like that.

She lost track of how long he kissed her, his hand resting on her shoulder, occasionally grazing his fingers down her arm and back up, gentle flames trailing across her skin in their wake. Even though it had only been a day or so, she felt as if time stopped when he kissed her, as if nothing else existed except for them, and it made her wish that they were the only two people in the world, made her wish that the titans didn't exist.

She could tell that he didn't want to push her, to do too much too soon, and she almost wished that he would. She felt ready, but she didn't know how to show him, didn't know how to tell him. So for now, she'd wait and see, thinking, hoping that maybe he'd make that first step for her, so she wouldn't have to.

When they broke apart, a shy smile covered her face, and she moved her hand so that her fingers could brush through his hair, enjoying the soft smile that came to his face as she did.

Her eyes were full of affection as she watched him, and she loved the warmth she saw in his, and she truly wished that she could go back in time and force herself to take that risk, hating that they'd already lost so much time because she'd been afraid. "I'm sorry, Levi."

His lips quirked at her words. "What are you sorry for now?"

She giggled at the amusement in his tone. "That it took me so long to take this risk."

He rolled his eyes, though she saw the humor in them. "That's not something you need to apologize for. I get it. It's as much my fault as yours, there were times where I could have tried, but…" his brow furrowed slightly as he thought, "...you're not always the easiest to read, and I didn't want to push you if this wasn't what you wanted."

She couldn't help the laugh that escaped her as the words she'd heard so many times from everyone else, come directly from him. "My friends said exactly that, that I was confusing you and that you wouldn't want to try anything unless you were sure it was what I wanted. I've lost track of the amount of times they told me to try…but I was afraid."

His hand came up to her face, thumb brushing across her cheek, understanding in his eyes. "You don't have to be afraid or worried now, not with me. Like I told you, we'll figure it all out together."

"I'll try, Levi, I promise."

His hand tucked some hair behind her ear, before drawing her close to him, letting her head settle against his shoulder. "Go to sleep, you need to catch up on all the sleep you lost down there."

She couldn't stop the yawn as exhaustion began to catch up to her again. She tilted her head up so she could look at him with sleepy eyes, wanting to make sure he knew she was serious with her next words. "I'd do it again, no hesitation."

"I know, and you know I'd do the same, no hesitation."

Her eyes darted away as she took in a breath for courage, and then leaned up so she could brush her lips across his, enjoying the softness of them, pulling back, face flushing slightly as she tried to ignore the amused look on his face at her hesitation.

She didn't know why she reacted so intensely at the simplest of things, but if he didn't mind, then she didn't either, even if he teased her about it, because she knew he never meant it.

She let her head rest against his shoulder, snuggling closer to him, loving the feel of his arms as they drew her closer. A content sigh escaped her when she felt his lips brush across her forehead, the gentle thump of his heartbeat lulling her to sleep, as it always did.

The next few weeks went by without incident. Their next expedition wasn't set to happen for another month, so everyone was focused on training. Hange was trying to convince Erwin to let her capture some titans, but she had yet to be successful, even with Isa's help.

Isa agreed that capturing smaller titans could give them vital information they needed, but she also could see Erwin's concern with the idea. It was hard enough to take down a titan sometimes, much less capture, restrain, and transport one.

When she told Hange, Nanaba, and Nifa about what happened between her and Levi in the Underground, she could tell that Hange was working hard to restrain herself from saying, I told you so, though she wasn't able to contain the smug look on her face.

She was grateful that Nanaba and Nifa didn't have the same reaction, or if they did, they did a better job at hiding it than Hange.

Hange wouldn't have been wrong to say that, but Isa appreciated that she held herself back from saying it, even if Isa knew she was thinking it. Instead, Hange just wrapped her up in a hug, telling her she was proud of Isa for taking that risk, and that she was thrilled it had worked out exactly as she'd known it would.

Hange thought the world of her best friend, her sister, and wanted nothing more than for her to be happy, and if she was happy with Levi, then she was happy for her.

That hadn't stopped her from marching to Levi's office one day, warning him that if he hurt Isa in any way, he'd have to deal with her.

She knew how Levi felt about Isa, and knew he would never hurt her, but as Isa's best friend, she wanted to make it clear what would happen if he did.

Hange was amused at Levi's irritation, chuckling at the fact that apparently, she hadn't been the first person to tell him not to hurt her.

She was thrilled for both her friends, and knew they were good for each other. She'd seen how Isa brought out a playful, humorous side of Levi that most people didn't see, and that she brought out a sweeter, gentler side of him. Hange had also seen how Levi had helped Isa find her own strength, the way he never held her back, but encouraged her in a way only Levi could do.

Isa spent each night with Levi, though some nights he stayed at his desk, working late with paperwork. She offered to help him, and sometimes he'd let her, but other times, he'd tell her he was fine, and that she should relax or get some rest.

She didn't mind if he couldn't hold her each night, she'd been telling the truth when she'd said she just enjoyed being around him. She understood he had duties as a Captain that couldn't be ignored, she just hated when she woke and saw him hunched over at his desk asleep.

She knew that couldn't be comfortable but didn't know how to coax him to lie down in his bed, didn't want him to think she needed him every second of every day. It wasn't about that, she just wanted him to be comfortable those few hours he did sleep.

The one thing that Isa hated, was that they hadn't done anything more than kiss yet. As much as she loved kissing him, feeling his hands on her waist, her shoulders, her back, she wanted to do more, was ready to do more. She'd waited for far too long to be with him, and, despite the nerves of messing up, she was desperately ready to take that next step, wanting to explore every aspect of her relationship with him.

She could tell Levi was moving slow for her, not wanting to push her, willing to wait as long as she needed, but the problem was, she didn't know how to tell him she was ready. She didn't want to let what had happened control her life, because if she did, then that was letting Derek win, and she refused to let that happen.

As she sat in Luna's stall, thinking of her relationship with Levi, she heard a knock. When she turned her head, she saw Hange standing outside the door.

Isa could see the concern in her friend's eyes. "Isa, are you okay? You seem…down."

She patted the ground beside of her, waiting for Hange to sit down before she spoke. "I'm not…down, I'm just…confused."

Hange wrapped an arm around her, drawing her close, never one to shy away from comforting her friend. "Confused about what?"

Isa looked down at her hands, trying to figure out how exactly to explain the situation. "Well…I still don't know what I'm doing with Levi half the time. He told me to not worry about what I'm supposed to do, and focus on what I want to do, which helped. But sometimes, I want to do something, but I just don't know how."

"Like what?"

"I don't know how to…initiate something. I…I want him, I want him to be my first, and I feel ready for it, but I just don't know how to tell him, or how to show him."

"He knows you want him, right?"

"Yes…I just think that what happened while we were in Stohess, is holding him back, keeping him from moving too fast for me. I sometimes wish he would move faster, so that way I wouldn't have to try to tell him or show him."

Isa had already told Hange everything that had happened that second morning of the trial, when Derek had assaulted her for a third time, how she'd defended herself. She hadn't even told Levi exactly what he'd done, but, it helped, telling someone the way he'd groped at her, touched her, how sometimes, she could still feel his hands and mouth on her. It had helped the way Hange had held her as she spoke, the comfort she only got from her best friend, her sister had worked wonders in helping her through this.

But despite that, she truly felt ready for this next step with Levi. She trusted him with everything she had, and she didn't want to wait anymore, didn't want to let what happened keep her from enjoying every aspect of her relationship with Levi. She wanted more.

Hange's brows knit together in concentration as she thought. "I think he definitely is hesitant and wants to make sure he's going at your pace. This is your first time, plus, you've got the times Derek's assaulted you. You're not going to like this, but I think you're going to have to be the one to make the move."

Isa groaned. "Why? I'm the one who made the first move to begin with, why do I have to do it with this?"

Hange squeezed her friend's shoulder, chuckling at her frustration. "Isa, you just happened to find yourself with a man who's willing to wait for however long you need."

Isa's head fell back as she looked up at her friend. "I just…I don't know how."

Hange brought her hand up to stroke at Isa's hair. "When you feel like you're ready, do whatever feels right for you."

Isa glared at her friend, though it held no malice, only frustration at the lack of advice. "Do you know, how annoying it is, to get that vague as shit response, for everything when it comes to this shit?"

A sheepish smile crossed Hange's face, understanding Isa's struggle. "I know, but it's worked so far didn't it? In that moment when you first kissed Levi, you didn't think, you just felt, you just did what you wanted."

Isa crossed her arms in front of her chest, though she moved her head to rest against Hange's shoulder. "That was easier though, he was finally awake after so long, all I felt was relief, and it helped."

Hange let her cheek settle on top of Isa's head. "But you just let yourself feel in that moment. So do the same now. Don't get caught up in what you should or shouldn't do, because once you do, you'll start second guessing yourself. I know you'll figure it out, Isa. You always do."

Isa sighed, realizing that she was going to get no other help from her friend, she just let herself enjoy the company of Hange, as the two of them discussed new strategies Hange could try to use to convince Erwin to let her capture a titan.

Later that night, she sat next to Levi on his couch in his office, his arm draped around her as she was pressed up against his side, head resting on his shoulder.

Hange said to do what I feel is right. That sounds like what Levi has told me, to focus on what I want to do in the moment.

So what do I want to do?

She tilted her head up, looking at Levi's face, admiring the shadows from the flickering fire in front of them, the way they floated across his face, somehow making his eyes look impossibly blue as he turned to look at her.

I…I want to kiss him, maybe that will help me ease into this.

She brought her hand up to his face, hesitating slightly before leaning up to press her lips against his, enjoying the way he responded as he deepened the kiss, his own hand coming up to rest on her waist. Even through her shirt, she could feel the heat radiating from his hand, and she shivered at the thought of it on her bare skin.

She truly hoped she'd never get used to the way he kissed her. It didn't matter if it was soft and sweet like this one, or fiercer and all-consuming, his kisses always left her reeling, sometimes dizzy.

She only hoped he felt the same, or somewhat close to it. She knew she had an effect on him, she'd felt it whenever she brushed her lips across his neck, but she hadn't had the chance to find other ways to drive him crazy, and she desperately wanted to.

She had yet to figure out why some of his kisses made her giggle like a teenager, but she honestly didn't care. She liked seeing the teasing amusement come to his eyes whenever she did, as if he liked the idea that he affected her that way.

No matter how he kissed her, he was always patient with her, which was both heartwarming and frustrating at the same time. It was so sweet of him to wait as long as she needed, but it was also frustrating, because it left her in charge, and she didn't want to have to be the one to move first.

But this was what she wanted, and she'd make the first move…or try to.

Before she could lose her nerve, she pulled back, quickly unbuttoning her shirt. She watched as his eyes widened, throat moving as he swallowed, and it sent both nerves and excitement fluttering inside her, fully ready to take this next step.

His eyes shot to hers, hands coming to her wrists, stopping her before she could pull her shirt off. "What…what are you doing?"

It was her turn to swallow thickly, as she forced herself to tell him what she wanted, to tell him that she was ready for this. She forced herself to keep her eyes on his, refusing to let herself break his gaze, despite the nerves, despite the red creeping onto her cheeks. "I…I want this with you. I don't want to wait anymore."

His brows knit with concern as his hands dropped from her wrists, eyes uncertain. "Are you sure? It's not too soon after what happened?"

She gave him a reassuring smile as she brought a hand up to his face, though there were still hints of nerves in her eyes. "I'm sure, Levi. He tried to take something from me, tried to take my control, and I want to get that back with you."

He brought his hand up to rest his hand on her face, thumb stroking lightly, wanting to make sure that she was certain, not wanting to push her into something if she wasn't ready for it. "I just…I don't want to go too fast for you, we can wait however long you need."

She let her fingers brush through his hair. "You're not, this is my choice, and I'm ready, I promise."

He didn't like the idea, felt that it was too soon, didn't want to push her, but he realized that if denied her, or told her they should wait, he would also be taking away her control, and it put him in a difficult position. So he'd do the only thing he could, he'd trust her when she said she felt ready and he'd keep a close eye on how she was reacting, fully prepared to stop the second she seemed uncomfortable or scared.

He took a deep breath, though she could tell he was still worried. "O-okay, Isa, only if you're sure. But I need you to promise me something."

"What?"

His eyes were intent on hers as he spoke. "Promise me, that if you feel uncomfortable, or I do something you don't like, or something scares you, promise me that you'll tell me. I promise you we'll go slow, and I promise you I won't hurt you, but I need you to promise me that."

He doesn't want to be like those men he heard with his mother. The ones who made her do things she didn't want, but she did them anyways because she needed the money to take care of him.

He probably also doesn't want to be anything like Derek, even though there is no way he could ever be anything like him.

How could he think I'd ever be afraid of him? I don't think there's anyone sweeter or kinder than him.

She brought her other hand up to his face, brushing her lips across his, reassuring him that she trusted him with everything she had. "I promise, Levi."

He stood, lifting her into his arms, carrying her into his bedroom before setting her gently on his bed, removing her shoes before removing his, as she watched him with wide eyes full of nerves and desire.

She watched as he settled down next to her, letting his hand rest on her waist, allowing her to slowly adjust to his touch on her bare skin.

As if sensing her nerves, he leaned in to kiss her, slowly deepening it, coaxing her to relax, easing her nerves with something she was now used to, before adding in too much of newer touches.

The feel of his lips on hers had her sighing as she felt the tension slowly leave her body. She trusted him, she loved him, and she knew he would never do anything to hurt her. He'd been nothing but extraordinarily patient with her, and she knew that wouldn't stop, even if she messed something up.

She could feel his hand on her waist, slowly stroking his thumb along the dip, and the heat of it was exhilarating. She loved the feel of his hands on her skin, and couldn't wait to feel them everywhere else.

She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him even closer to her, intrigued at the feel of his cool shirt against her skin, contrasting the heat of his hand at her waist.

He pulled back, grazing his lips against her jaw, down her neck, brushing across the sensitive spot she sometimes forgot existed, a shiver running down her spine as he kept his touches light and gentle.

She loved how gentle his hands could be. She knew he saw himself as a cold-blooded killer, but she saw him as so much more than that. He was kind and had the ability to be incredibly sweet, the ginger touches currently coming from him were more than enough proof of that to her.

Her breath hitched when she felt his fingers trail up slowly from her her waist, teasing the skin under the fabric of her bra at her side, a languid rush flowing through her at the feel of his fingers so close to where she'd wanted them for so long.

She ran her fingers through his hair, and could tell he was still worried about moving too fast, but she felt ready for this. She wanted this, wanted him, wanted to take this next step, and she trusted him with everything she had, knew he'd never hurt her.

She sighed when she felt his hand come around to gently cup her breast over her bra, slowly easing her into the feel of his hand on her. Before she had the chance to even adjust or enjoy the feel of him finally touching her, before he even had the chance to ask her if she was still okay, her mind cruelly reminded her of what had almost happened.

An unwanted hand on her breast, groping as her stomach filled with bile.

An unwanted hand in her pants, groping over her underwear, trying to take something that was never offered.

An unwanted hand restraining her wrists, preventing her from fighting back.

An unwanted mouth at her neck, leaving marks that took days to go away.

Leering eyes that held a deranged look filled with delusions.

She couldn't stop the fearful whimper from escaping her as her stomach twisted at the reminder and her eyes clenched shut. Levi instantly snatched his hand off her, bringing it up to stroke gently at her hair.

"Hey, it's okay, I'm right here, tell me what you need." Though he was unsure how to help, he did his best to soothe, hating what that pig had done to her, but willing to try his best, willing to support her in any way he could.

Her hands had come up to wrap around her chest, clutching her shirt closed, desperately trying to erase the memory of the unwanted touches from Derek. Light shivers had started running through her, now afraid that she'd never be able to have this with Levi. "H-hold me please."

He pulled her in tight, and as he did, she couldn't stop the few hot, silent tears that trickled down her cheeks as she pressed her head against his chest.

"Levi I…I still feel his hands on me, his mouth, and it disgusts me." Her voice had dropped to a horrified whisper. "I…I didn't think it would bother me, I hadn't had any issues, but then my mind threw his face up and the reminder of what he did. I…I thought I was over it."

His hand came up to stroke at her hair, keeping his fingers light and soothing as they ran through the silky strands, the way he'd learned she liked. "It may be something that'll take time."

Frustration at the man who had tried to take something that was never offered shoved aside the horror, removing her filter, allowing her to speak more freely. "Dammit, I hate this. I've wanted this for so long with you, and it's something else that he's taken from me."

"Look at me."

She slowly brought her gaze up to meet his calm eyes.

He brought his hand up to cup her cheek, and the feel of it soothed her as she pressed her face into the calming touch. "If this is what you want, then we will get there."

"What about what you want? Don't you want this?"

His eyes turned serious, wanting her to understand that his only concern was her, and making sure she was comfortable and felt safe. "Of course I want this with you, but right now, it's not about me. If this is scaring you or making you uncomfortable, then we'll slow down."

His voice grew softer, trying to comfort her and make her understand that she didn't need to worry about him, that simply being with her, was enough for him. "I promise you, if this is what you want, we will get there together, like we always do. I promise you that I'm not going to do anything that hurts you, in any way."

Her brow knit in confusion, not understanding why she'd reacted that way. Levi had never done anything to hurt her, she'd never felt afraid of him, even at the beginning. "I know you won't. I've never been scared of you, could never be scared of you, Levi, so I don't know why this is happening."

His fingers moved to tuck some loose hair behind her ear, keeping his eyes on hers. "I think it's because, when it comes to this, everything has been negative, against your will, so your mind thinks you're in danger. We'll just come up with ways to show your mind that it's safe."

She shook her head, needing him to understand that she always felt as if nothing bad could happen to her when she was with him, needing him to understand that she knew he'd never hurt her. "But I always feel safe around you."

"I know you do," he murmured, "but this is different. You're already nervous, I think most people are their first time, but now you've got these negative experiences to add to it, so I think it's overworking your mind, and it wants to protect you."

He brushed his fingers gently through her hair, eyes still focused on her and only her. "We need to help your mind remember that nothing bad is going to happen to you when you're with me."

"How do we do that?"

She watched as his brows furrowed as he tried to figure out how he could help her get through this. "Maybe part of it is that you just need to slowly get used to someone else touching you, someone you know is never going to do anything to hurt you, so we'll start slow. And when you feel like you want to add or try something just tell me or show me."

Her eyes boggled at the thought as she gaped at him.

T-tell him when I want him to do something?

Dammit, it was hard enough just telling him I wanted this, now I have to tell him where I want him to touch me?

Fucking Derek, I should have just sliced his dick to pieces and suffered the consequences after.

She swallowed, her eyes darting away from him, the heat creeping up her face at the sheer thought. "H-how do I do that?"

He brought his hand to her chin, coaxing her to bring her eyes back to his. "For now, I'll keep to safer spots, let you get used to it, and then, if you want me to touch you somewhere, just move my hands where you want them, and we can go from there. But the minute you feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable, you need to say something, and we'll slow back down. If you don't, it could make it even worse."

She nodded, though the nerves in her stomach were running rampant. "But...but I don't want to always have to do that...to have to tell you what I want."

She wanted that spontaneity between couples she'd always read about, she didn't want to have to talk him through everything.

Fucking hell, this is so unfair.

His thumb brushed gently across her jaw. "You won't. We just need to get past this first part, to get you comfortable."

She chewed at her lip, struggling to keep her eyes on his. "Can…can we try now?"

"Only if you want."

"I do."

"What do you want me to do?"

She took a deep breath in an attempt to quell the nerves. "Can…can you kiss me?"

He leaned in, and her breath hitched when he placed a gentle kiss on the corner of her mouth, before moving to do the same on the other side.

Her heart thrummed when he placed his lips gently on hers, deepening the kiss ever so slowly, once again, coaxing away the nerves, working to show her mind that she was safe with him, that nothing bad would happen when she was with him, that he would never do anything to hurt her.

Warm tingles followed his hand as they trailed down her neck, over her shoulder, moving down her arm, only to slowly graze back up, patiently helping her adjust to the feel of someone else touching her in less intimate places, places where he'd already touched before and she hadn't reacted negatively.

When his hand followed the same path back down, he tested the waters, moving on to her waist, squeezing gently, letting his thumb stroke gently at the dip. She missed the feel of his hand on her bare skin, the smallest glimpse of what it would feel like to have his hands on her elsewhere, but she also now knew she shouldn't push herself too far.

She could feel his hand other hand move to her back, his fingers trailing lightly on the exposed skin where the hem of her shirt had ridden up. A shiver coursed through her when his fingers brushed across a spot on her lower back that had her breath hitching ever so slightly.

She wanted to touch him too, but wasn't entirely sure how, or where, still worried about messing up. She'd experimented with running her hands across his chest and shoulders before, but she still felt nervous about it.

'Don't worry about what you're supposed to do. What do you want to do right now, in this moment?'

Wanting to try, wanting to learn, she ignored her nerves and listened to Levi's words from before.

She hesitantly brought her hand up to his chest, enjoying the feel of the lean muscle beneath his shirt, running it over his shoulder, tracing down his arm, letting it rest on his bicep. She could feel the subtle flex of the muscle as his hands teased across the exposed skin of her back.

She let her hands grow bolder, moving down along his waist, following his lead and teasing the skin under the hem, enjoying the way the heat felt against her hands. When she moved her hands to his stomach, she relished in the way his muscles quivered ever so slightly, loving that she had an effect on him, eager to learn new ways she could affect him.

He pulled back, blue eyes full of affection and concern as he stared into her eyes, moving his hand so he could gently rub her arm. "Are you alright?"

She didn't want to stop, but she also knew it was probably best not to do too much too soon, let herself slowly adjust. She didn't want to react that way again, and she only hoped it wouldn't take her long to get through this. "I'm okay, Levi, nothing of what happened came to mind. I think you're right, and I was just trying to move too fast."

He leaned in to brush his lips across her forehead, and she couldn't stop the content sigh that escaped her.

"If this is what you want, we'll get there, Isa. We'll just take it slow."

He drew her in close, and she let her head settle onto his shoulder, like it had so many times before, allowing herself to enjoy the steady beat of his heart in her ear.

His hand had settled in her hair, stroking absently and as she lay there, that's when the thoughts began to trickle in.

He said he wouldn't stop wanting me because I'm inexperienced.

Right now he seems fine with waiting, but I didn't know I was going to react this way.

But what if he gets tired of waiting around for me to get over this? To be able to give him what he wants, what we both want?

I don't know how long it'll take for me to get over this.

They always used to tell me that men only want sex from women, and don't really care about anything else.

But he's different…I…I know he is. He's not like that. Right?

But…what if he does get tired of waiting?

He sighed. "What is it?"

"What do you mean?"

"I can hear you thinking. What is it?"

She spoke before she could talk herself out of it. "Can you promise me something?"

"Okay."

She reached for the hand resting on his stomach, encouraged to speak when he turned it over to link his fingers with hers. "…Promise me you won't give up on me."

His hand paused on top of her head, and she could hear the confusion in his voice. "I already told you that's not happening."

She chewed at her lip, hesitation lining her voice as she spoke. "I…I know, but that was before we knew that I was going to react like this. I just…" the words blurted out of her, needing to get them out before she changed her mind. "I just don't want you to get tired of me because I can't give you what you want, what we both want right away, and I don't know how long it will take for me to get over this."

"Hey, look at me." His voice held the warmth he always used with Isa, but it also held a hint of the authoritative tone he used with his subordinates, demanding that she meet his eyes before he continued, needing her to understand the seriousness of his words.

When she met his eyes, she thought she saw the slightest glint of irritation as he struggled to understand why she thought that.

He pulled his hand from hers so he could let it rest on her face as he kept his voice calm, yet it held a firmness that told her he was more serious about what he was saying than he'd ever been. "This isn't all I want with you. I thought I made that clear when you asked me what I wanted. I'm your best friend? Well you're mine."

His face softened as he spoke, thumb brushing across her cheek. "I told you, I want it all with you, and I meant it. I'm not giving that up, giving up what we already have, because you've been through some shit that you shouldn't have had to go through."

She didn't know what to say, just watched him as he spoke.

He brought her close so he could rest his forehead on hers, holding her gaze in place. "I've told you before, I'm here for you, like you're here for me, always. So wipe that thought from your mind that I'm going to give up on you. I promise you, that is not going to happen. Ever."

She let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "You're…you're right, Levi, I'm sorry."

A breathless chuckle escaped him. "You need to stop apologizing for everything. I get that you have your own shit you deal with, we all do, so you don't have to apologize for feeling what you feel. I just need you to understand that we're more than just this." His voice somehow grew even gentler, eyes full of that warmth that had her heart thrumming faster in her chest. "I…I want us to be more than just this."

She swallowed thickly at the admission, knowing how much he struggled when it came to voicing what he wanted, what he felt. "I-I want the same, Levi. I'm trying, I really am when these stupid thoughts come to my head, it's just, sometimes one catches me off guard, and before I have a chance to even try to stop it, it's grown, and with me reacting this way, it just sort of fed that thought that you might get tired of me. I have nothing to go off of here."

Her eyes begged him to understand that she didn't want to think this way, that she hated the thoughts that came into her mind, but they were deeply rooted, and would take time to remove. "All I have when it comes to this, is what they told me, and all they ever told me is that men only want…well," she avoided eye contact, face flushing as she continued, "sex with women, and that they wouldn't care about anything else, at least not with me."

You're seriously that embarrassed to say the word 'sex' in front of him, even though that's what you were just trying to do with him.

He waited for her to bring her gaze back to his, and when she did, he spoke, and she saw the understanding in his eyes. "Some do, Isa, they're not wrong about that. There are some pigs that exist in this world. As much as I hate it, you've seen it, experienced it for yourself. But you know me, Isa, better than anyone else, you should know I'm not like that."

She immediately thought of how he'd grown up in a brothel, heard the things he'd heard, heard how his mother had been treated, the things he'd probably accidentally seen, and the guilt welled inside her.

She remembered everything he'd done for her, taking care of her after Ethel died, Ethel's gravestone, taking her to that meadow because he knew she needed a break, holding her whenever she needed it, going with her to the Underground, and she was ashamed to have ever let that thought take hold.

She brought her hand up to the one that still lay on her face, desperate to reassure, desperate to apologize, shame and guilt filling her. "You're…you're right, Levi. I should have known better, I know you don't like me to apologize, but just take this one, please. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, knowing what you dealt with as a child, everything you've already done for me, I should have known you would never be like that."

He brought his other hand to her face, eyes earnest as they stared into hers, telling her that he meant everything he was saying. "Trust me, Isa, not them, not your thoughts, but me. I'm not going to give up on you, I'm not going to stop being here for you, I'm not going to stop being your friend, I'm not going to stop wanting to be with you."

She couldn't stop the tear that escaped from her eye, trickling down her cheek. She hadn't even realized that her eyes had filled as he spoke. "I do trust you, Levi," her voice was thick with emotions as she spoke, "with everything I have. But I need you to understand something too…I'm going to need help until I can get a handle on these thoughts that come to mind."

She sniffled as she let her other hand move up to his face, more grateful than ever for him. "All I ask, is that if something like this happens again, that you do what you did just now. Just remind me to trust you. You don't even have to tell me, just show me, do whatever you think is right, because somehow, everything you do, ends up being exactly what I need."

An affectionate smile filled his face, and she could see he understood. "I can do that, Isa, I promise. I know that those people put you through hell. I don't know everything they did, everything they said, and you can tell me whenever you're ready. I'll help however I can, all you need to do is trust me and what I say. I'm never going to lie to you."

A sheepish look crossed her face, the worry that he'd get tired of her now gone, the weed pulled up by the root with his words. "I know, Levi. I hate that I even let that thought take hold."

He shook his head, the smile still on his face, silently telling her not to worry, reminding her that he was there for her. His hand came up to brush at the hair on top of her head. "Hey, it's okay. It's only been what, not even a month since you started trying to fight back? I know it's going to take time. But I know you, I know you'll win. You always do. And I'm going to be right here with you."

Nerves gone for the moment, she leaned in to press her lips to his, enjoying the way he responded to her, relishing in the feel that he wanted her, his promises to her sending a warmth through her that she never wanted to lose.

She pulled back, her eyes full of love and affection as she stared into his that were full of warmth, full of promises.

Her eyes smiled up at him as she spoke, hand coming up to brush at the bangs on his forehead. "Thank you, Levi. I'm going to say it again. You say you're no good at comforting, but you somehow always know what to say and do to make me feel better."

His only response was to brush his lips across hers, thumb grazing across her cheek, fingers tucking her hair behind her ear. He pulled back and she couldn't stop the shy smile that formed on her face.

She settled back in against his shoulder, her hand coming up to rest on his chest over his heart, letting his words and the promises he made to her comfort her, reminding her that the thoughts that came to mind were not the truth.

I promise you, Levi, I will work to trust only you when it comes to this. If one of these thoughts comes to mind again, I will work to remember your words. I know you'll never lie to me, it's one of the things I love most about you.

I love you, Levi.

She slowly let herself drift off to sleep, snuggling as close to him as she could, a content sigh escaping her when she felt his lips brush across her forehead, drawing her in even tighter, another silent reminder that he was there for her, just as she was there for him.

Little did either of them know, that somewhere, in the Military Police prison, someone was seething, hungry for revenge. And with nothing else to do but sit in a cell, the rage was growing into something evil, hostile, all-consuming, fueled by hatred.