A/N: This is a continuation from Chapter 29; it delves a bit further into when she's practicing her ability with Levi.

She took a breath, still not liking that she was able to see his memories. "If…if we're doing this, if we're going to have me practice accessing your memories, then you're going to need to tell me what memories to look for. If I can control this, then I'm never going to use it to try to find a memory you aren't ready for me to know. You know I'd never do anything to break your trust."

He brought his eyes back to hers, and she could see the pure trust he had for her in them, and it sent a thrill to her, knowing he trusted her as much as she trusted him. "I know, Isa. If that's what you feel is best for this, then I'll tell you what to look for."

She nibbled at her lip, still not loving the idea, but if it meant learning to control this, she'd do it. "I guess then, give me a memory. One that you feel comfortable sharing with me."

"Why don't you try something with my mom? I don't mind you seeing those."

"Okay, I can do that."

She reached out, taking her hand in hers, enjoying the feel of his roughened skin against hers.

Focus, Isa.

Okay, I want to see Levi's mom.

When nothing happened, Levi looked at her. "Did…did you try?"

She blinked, confusion lighting her eyes. "I did, I thought 'I want to see Levi's mom.'"

His brows knit in concentration as he thought for a moment. "I think it might need to be more specific than that, I probably have a lot of memories with her that I don't know about."

She nodded, focusing on trying to make her request specific enough to trigger the ability.

I want to see Levi's mom playing with him.

Nothing.

Okay, not specific enough I guess? Maybe he has too many memories where he's playing with her.

I want to see Levi and his mom playing with blocks.

Nothing.

I want to see Levi's mom holding him in her arms while she's sitting on her bed.

Once again, nothing.

She lost track of how long she spent trying to access a memory. Nothing she was asking was working. She didn't know what the issue was, she felt that what she was thinking was to the point, no vagueness.

She threw her head back against the couch, a groan escaping her. "Dammit, this feels useless. How is it that I was able to do this by accident, without realizing it, but now I can't get a handle on it?"

The only thing she could think of, was that while her requests may seem specific to her, there were too many similar ones memories within his mind, keeping the ability from triggering.

He looked at her in amusement at her reaction. "Are you being specific enough?"

She crossed her arms in front of her, shooting a frustrated glare towards Levi at the question. "Yes, dammit, or it feels like it. I'm just not sure what to look for, there may just be too many of what I'm asking."

He brought his hand to her head, turning her to face him, eyes calmly telling her to relax, knowing she'd figure it out. "Maybe we should try a different one. I can't really think of a specific enough one with her. They're from too long ago."

She sighed. "Just give me one, and I'll try, but it almost feels hopeless."

She watched as Levi thought, filtering through his memories, looking for one he wanted her to see. She could tell he'd found one when she saw the amused smirk cross his face.

Humor lined his voice as he spoke. "I have one, and I think you might find this funny. Try to see when Shadis headbutted me, back when I first joined."

Isa looked at him with wide eyes now glinting with excitement, the frustration having dissipated at the suggestion. "This I have to see."

Determination filled her as she focused on her thoughts, making the request as specific as possible.

I want to see Commander Shadis headbutting Levi.

A flash of light exploded behind her eyes, and the world faded to black.

She's back on base, watching as their former Commander stands in front of Isabel, Furlan, and Levi. A wave of love washes over her at seeing her old friends.

The booming voice of Commander Shadis distracts her from her friends. He's talking about some 'rite of passage.'

She can feel his determination to break in the new recruits, his need to intimidate, to assert himself as Commander.

Anger fills her when she sees Shadis grab Isabel's face, reprimanding her for her salute. She can sense that Isabel feels no fear, only irritation with the man.

He approaches Furlan, demanding to know why he's here.

She can tell that he's intimidated as he gives his name but realizes his mistake. He corrects himself and begins to say his biggest reason is to serve the king, but Shadis cuts him off, grabbing his arm and crushing it, telling him that he was using the wrong hand to salute.

Isa's heart flutters when she sees Levi, and amusement fills her at the sight of his stoic, neutral face she hardly ever sees anymore, at least, not directed towards her.

She can feel his disinterest radiating from him, clearly not caring and clearly not the least bit intimidated by Shadis.

She can feel the irritation coming from Shadis when he sees Levi not even cower at what Shadis must think is an intimidating stare.

Shadis' frustration grows as he and Levi stare at each other, neither willing to give in.

Even though she knew to expect it, surprise fills her when Shadis, having grown beyond agitated, slams his head down onto Levi's.

She can see the giant red mark on Levi's forehead, but he shows no sign of pain, no sign that it bothered him. He doesn't speak, doesn't flinch, merely continues to regard Shadis with that same disinterested look.

She can feel Furlan, Isabel, and Flagon's surprise coming off them in waves, completely stunned at both Shadis' act and Levi's lack of reaction.

She feels the slightest hint of fear coming from Isabel and Furlan, as if they're afraid for the Commander, not knowing how Levi will react.

Shadis looks at Levi with confusion, and she thinks she can feel the slightest hint of fear coming from him.

He turns to Flagon in frustration, slamming his head onto Flagon's, and she can feel his satisfaction when Flagon drops to the ground in pain.

When Isa came back, she looked at Levi with wide eyes, gaping.

She poked at his forehead hard, several times, and she didn't stop until Levi reached his hand up to grab her hand, chuckling at her reaction.

Her mouth was still open, unable to believe his lack of reaction. "Is…are you…is your head made of rock or something? How the hell did that not hurt?"

He rolled his eyes in amusement. "It did, some, but I wasn't about to show him that. He was trying to intimidate me."

She burst out laughing, unable to control it, eyes watering at the memory, her head falling over to rest on his shoulder as her body shook. Levi's disinterested reaction, Shadis' frustration, it was all too much for her, as her body hunched over, unable to control the giggles pouring out of her.

Her sides began to hurt, and she tried to contain herself, but when she looked up and saw the amusement in Levi's eyes, the laughter started back up once more.

"Oh…my…what the hell?" Her words came out between gasps, her voice having reached a higher pitch. "That was probably the best thing I've ever seen. Did you see Shadis' face?"

Levi's lips twitched. "I did, it was oddly satisfying to see the old man get more irritated than he already was when I didn't give him the reaction he wanted."

She wiped at her eyes, taking some breaths as the laughs finally slowed. "You have to teach me that one day."

He sent her a bland look. "No way in hell, am I headbutting you."

"Maybe I'll just headbutt you."

"Not happening."

"Wait…" her jaw dropped again, but this time, at the realization that she'd successfully accessed one of his memories. "I…I did it."

His lips quirked up as he ruffled her hair, never having doubted that she'd be able to figure this out. "I knew you could."

A giddy excitement flooded through her, at the knowledge that she could control this, keep from accidentally seeing memories Levi hadn't been ready for her to see.

She tugged on his arm like a child eager for a treat, wanting to keep going. "Give me another one, I want to keep trying."

A breathless chuckle escaped him at her energy, but the amusement faded as he thought, eyes looking down at the table in front of him. "I…I have one I want you to see, but…it's not a happy one."

Her eyes turned serious at his sudden change in demeanor. "Whatever you want me to see, I'll try to look for it."

He brought his gaze up to meet hers, hand coming up to graze at her cheek. "Just…it's going to have Kenny in it, so if you think seeing him again is going to hurt you, then don't."

She thought for moment, brows furrowed, unsure how she would react to seeing Kenny again. "I think it'll be okay, since I know. Maybe before it was because I wasn't expecting it, and my emotions mixed with yours and it was too much to handle. We won't know unless we try."

He took a deep breath. "I want you to see when Kenny found me."

Her eyes widened, placing her hand on his shoulder, needing to be certain that this was what he wanted. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

She nodded, doing her best to focus, knowing this was an important memory that Levi wanted to share with her.

The desire to see this memory and having already succeeded gave her the confidence she needed to form a specific request.

She held his gaze, silently letting him know she was right there with him. "I…I want to see when Kenny found Levi."

A flash of light behind her eyes, the slightest hint of pain, and then black.

She's back in the Underground, that same room where Levi's mother had died, and her heart drops at the sight of him.

His small frame is emaciated, frail. He looks as if he were to stand, he'd collapse in a pile of skin and bones.

She can feel the emptiness pouring from him. No emotion, nothing. A wall has been built, surrounding him, protecting him, blocking out the grief, the despair, the agony that she imagines is festering inside him as he avoids looking at his mother's corpse.

His eyes hold a half-dead, empty look that she never wants to see in him again.

When she sees Kenny walk into the room, confusion fills her when she feels love and despair pouring from him as he takes in the corpse in the bed, which he hides with a crude joke about her having looked better.

Levi's soft, empty voice speaks up, telling him she's dead.

She can feel the sorrow, the pain coming from Kenny as he slides down the wall, sitting on the floor across from Levi.

She feels…pity coming from Kenny, and something akin to compassion, maybe even empathy, but she isn't sure.

As much as she hates the man, after seeing Levi's state, pure gratitude fills her that this man took this child in and took care of him.

When she came back, tears were trickling down her face. She wrapped her arms around Levi, desperately needing to comfort him, she could see the grief in his eyes at having seen his mother's corpse once again.

She wasn't sure why he'd shown her this memory, she thought maybe he'd wanted to see if she could give him some insight on the man that had taken him in and then abandoned him.

It didn't matter to her why he'd shown her, she just loved that he had.

She stroked softly at his hair, fingers running through the strands, relieved when she felt the content sigh come from him as he brought his own arms to wrap around her. "I'm so sorry, Levi. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I wish I could go back in time and save you myself."

Her voice was thick with emotion, too many for her to fully process, but the main one she could pick out was gratitude. "I may hate the man, but I will always be grateful, that he took you in and kept you safe. No child deserves to go through that. Thank you, thank you for sharing this with me."

Her desire to comfort overrode her nerves, and she placed gentle kisses on his cheeks, his forehead, his lips, wanting him to know how much she appreciated that he'd willingly shared something so horrid with her, wanting him to know that she was right there beside him, just as he was always beside her.

She drew him in tight again, loving that he simply pulled her closer, once again, taking the comfort she offered. "I know it's not a happy memory, but I truly want to know everything about you, the good and the bad, anything you're willing to share with me, I want to know."

She knew, that if she were to ever meet this Kenny, she would thank him. Thank him for taking in a child he didn't know and taking care of him. Even though he abandoned Levi, for whatever reason, he protected him long enough until Levi at least knew how to survive.

And for that, she would be forever grateful, because what he did, brought Levi to her.

She pulled back, relieved to see that the grief and despair in his eyes had faded. "It's…odd. I felt…love coming from him when he saw your mom."

He shrugged. "I've always suspected that he knew my mom, why else would he have shown up? But I have no idea who he was to her."

"I'm not sure either, but he definitely wasn't there for…well, you know, what you probably thought he was there for."

She thought she saw relief come into Levi's eyes, as if he'd spent all these years worried that Kenny had been another one of his mother's clients.

If this ability can bring him even the slightest bit of relief, even from something simple, I will gladly use it for that reason.

She grabbed his hand, needing to distract him further from the painful memory. "Give me another one, I want to keep going."

As if understanding what she was trying to do, he brought his hand up to her head, ruffling her hair. "Try doing that tavern memory I told you about, the one where I arm-wrestled the owner."

Even though he'd already told her the story, she nodded, willing to look at whatever memory he wanted to show her.

I want to see Levi arm-wrestling the tavern owner when he was in the Underground.

A flash of light, and then black.

She's in a dirty tavern, and it's noisy, the area smelling of stale beer.

The tavern owner is arm-wrestling any patron that dares to challenge him.

She can feel the man's arrogance emanating off of him. He's undefeated, and it's fueled his confidence to the point where he's cocky, just waiting to be taken down a notch.

She looks over into a little booth, and sees the trio, her friends, the man she's in love with.

She feels a bolt of desire hit her at the sight of him wearing a shirt that has the first couple of buttons unbuttoned and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

Embarrassed at the unexpected, and ridiculous reaction, she has to force herself to focus.

Despite the stoic expression, she can feel Levi's love for his friends coming off of him. She's always known he feels, immensely, probably more than most, but it's shocking how much love he holds for these two.

She feels his desire to protect, never wanting anything to happen to his two best friends. She can feel how he's constantly on alert, daring anyone to hurt them.

She watches as Isabel inhales the food in front of her as Furlan and Levi look on.

She can feel their amusement at the behavior of their little red-headed friend.

She can feel Furlan and Isabel's love for their friend, each holding their own desire to protect the others.

These three were a family, and she hates that they'd been separated by something as cruel as death.

She hears the owner call out for another challenger, arrogantly stating that the winner can have anything they want, even his wife, clearly not expecting to ever lose.

She watches as Levi approaches the owner in challenge, annoyance rolling off of him at the proprietor's behavior.

She can feel the owner's determination and Levi's indifference, both thinking they'll win, though she knows the owner doesn't stand a chance against Levi, clearly having underestimated him.

She feels Levi's satisfaction when he slams the man's hand into the barrel, before blandly saying, "Victory is mine."

He approaches the old woman, reaching up.

She can feel the woman's apprehension, and the man's fear and desperation, both clearly thinking that Levi is going to try to make away with the owner's wife.

Instead, he reaches for a tin of tea leaves, and she can feel the excitement coming off him at the rare tea leaves he holds in his hand.

Just as fast as she had entered the memory, she was brought out.

An affectionate smile crossed her face, tears glistening in her eyes, her hand coming up to stroke gently at his hair.

His brow quirked up, a curious light in his eyes as he took in her expression. "What?"

Her eyes were full of warmth, affection sparkling in them. "Nothing, it's just, I could feel you really loved them. I knew you did, but to feel it…thank you for sharing that with me, Levi."

He shifted in his seat, avoiding her gaze, and she caught the slightest hint of pink creeping up to his cheeks.

Her face softened, her other hand coming up to turn his face back to hers, her thumb stroking at his cheek, wanting to comfort him. "Hey, you don't have to be embarrassed about this, not with me, not ever with me." She saw amusement fill his eyes at her use of his own words with him, wiping away the embarrassment.

She let her fingers thread themselves in the silky strands, noticing he seemed to relax more when she did that. "I know emotions aren't the easiest for you, they're not the easiest for me. Just know this. Those two? They loved you more than anything in the world."

A stray tear trickled down her cheek, her eyes holding his in place, not letting him break her gaze, needing him to understand how much his friends cared for him. "Don't ever doubt that they cared about you, Levi, even if they never said it, because they did."

His hand came up, gently brushing away the tear, his own eyes warm with affection as he leaned up to brush his lips across her forehead. "Thank you."

She let herself lean in so she could kiss his cheek, thumb rubbing across the skin as if to seal it. "Of course, Levi."

She lost track of how long they stared at each other, faces mere inches apart, his hand having come up to take hers in it, linking their fingers together.

Despite the butterflies in her stomach at being caught in his gaze, despite the way her heart fluttered and swelled, she no longer wanted to break away, no longer felt the need. Knowing he wanted her, the way she wanted him kept her from feeling the need to avoid staring into his eyes in moments like these, where it felt as if they were the only two people in the world.

Truth be told, she loved watching those mesmerizing eyes, and she truly hoped she never stopped feeling this way just from looking into them.

But she also knew they needed to keep practicing, he still had paperwork she fully intended on helping him with, and it was late enough as it was.

Reluctantly, she forced her eyes to look away, clearing her throat. "We should…we should probably try another memory. I think I might be getting the hang of this."

She sat as she waited for him to find another memory he was willing to share, when one occurred to her.

"I have one, it's something I already know, but I'm curious to see your side of it."

"What?"

"Well, back on the first night Isabel slept alone in the barracks, I woke up to her crying. I was trying to comfort her, and she told me this story about when the ceiling crashed down into her room and she thought it was some monster in a story Furlan had told her."

She watched Levi's face brighten ever so slightly in amusement. "I remember that. Sure, if you want to see it, try that one."

I want to see when Isabel thought a monster had fallen into her room.

She's back in the Underground, in the home of Levi, Isabel, and Furlan.

She realizes she must be on the floor above Isabel's room.

She watches as Levi looks at some barrels, finding a leaky one on the floor. She can feel his slight irritation at the mess as he prepares himself to mop the floor.

Just as before, the sight of Levi's unbuttoned shirt and rolled up sleeves sends desire rushing through her, and she has to force herself to focus on the memory.

When he begins to move the barrels so he can mop, the floor crumbles, and he falls to the room below.

She can feel his confusion and frustration, as he sits on the floor, now covered in wine.

When she came back she sent Levi an amused grin. "I bet it took ages to clean up that mess."

A small chuckle escaped him at the reminder, humor lighting his eyes. "It did."

She laughed at the thought, knowing that Levi would have spent far more time than anyone else, cleaning up that mess. "Okay, give me another one."

"Try to see if you can see Isabel singing, back on that first expedition."

I want to see Isabel sing in the first, and only expedition she went on.

A flash of light, and then black.

She's in the castle ruins they had stayed in, and she sees Isabel, Furlan, Sairam, and Levi standing around Flagon as he discusses the formation.

She can feel the boredom, irritation, and frustration pouring from Isabel as she listens to Flagon drone on and on.

But before she can see what happens, she's ripped out of the memory, the slightest pain hitting her head.

As she came back, she didn't have time to react to the memory as she felt a hint of that splitting headache. She brought her hand up to rest on the bridge of her nose, eyes closed tight as she hunched over her knees, trying to push the pain away.

She felt his hand come to her back and could hear the concern in his voice when he spoke. "Hey, what is it?"

She shook her head, unable to speak just yet, fearing if she did the pain would explode in her head, and she was terrified of feeling that stabbing pain once more.

"Is it your head?"

She nodded.

She felt him drag her towards him, draping her legs over his lap, bringing her head against his neck.

His hand came up to stroke at her hair, hoping to soothe, hating that he'd let her push herself this far. "Just hang on to me as long as you need."

She wrapped her arms around him as she buried her face into his neck, letting herself breathe in his comforting scent, hoping that it would help drive away the headache before it started.

She took a few deep breaths, focusing on the feel of Levi's fingers brushing through her hair, his other arm wrapped around her, hand on her shoulder.

As she kept her senses focused on him, she could slowly feel the pain begin to fade away.

She leaned back, looking up to meet his eyes, noting the concern in them. "I…I think I'm okay now."

"We're done with this for tonight."

She shook her head, not ready to stop, needing to make sure she understood how to control this, so she never accidentally saw another one of his memories again. "No, I'm okay, I can keep—"

"Isa."

She blinked at him as his voice took on a more commanding tone, leaving no room for arguments. She wasn't sure how she felt about the jolt of arousal that hit her at having that voice directed towards her. It still held the warmth he used only with her but had the slightest hint of authority.

She swallowed thickly, struggling to keep the flush from rising to her face as those images came to mind. "O-okay, Levi."

He brushed his lips across her forehead. "You did good, you seem to have a better handle on it now, there's no point in pushing yourself with this."

"Maybe you're right." She let her own voice take a commanding tone, though it was nothing in comparison to Levi's as her chin lifted in defiance. "But I'm still helping you with that paperwork."

He rolled his eyes in amusement. "Fine. Doesn't look like I have a choice, stubborn pain in the ass."

She could do nothing to stop the giggle that escaped her at the name, her defiance having been erased by her desire to tease. "You don't grumpy, grouchy ass."

Levi stood, carrying her over to his desk, settling her down in the chair on the opposite side of his, and handed her a stack of papers that she could start working on.

She sat with Levi at his desk, filling out the main sections of the forms, leaving the spaces for things like his signature or information that only he could provide for him to complete.