CW: Mentions of sexual assault.

She's drifting, in that state between asleep and awake. She can feel the featherlight touches across her cheeks, her forehead, her nose, as he tries to rouse her from sleep.

A sleepy giggle falls from her as she speaks. "Levi, let me sleep."

"Who's Levi?"

Her eyes snap open, horror filling her as she stares into the deranged, brown eyes in front of her.

She doesn't know how, but she's moved from lying on her side, to laying on her back, arms and legs tied to the posts.

He chuckles menacingly, something evil filling his face and eyes. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you, Isa darling, you're mine."

She yanks against the restraints, desperate to free herself, desperate to fight and get away. "No! That's not true! I don't want you!"

Uma walks up to stand next to him, eyes full of judgment. "I don't know why you're fighting this. This is the only way you'll ever be with a man. You should be grateful that someone of his standing wants someone as plain and pathetic as you."

Levi walks into the room. "What the hell are you doing?"

Relief floods through her.

"L-Levi, please, you have to help me!"

His eyes move to look at her, and she sucks in a breath at the detest filling in his eyes, never having seen that pure hatred directed at her from him.

Her eyes well with tears.

He sneers at her. "Why would I help you? I don't give a shit about you."

She can feel her heart shatter in her chest as she sobs. "N-no! That's not true! You…you told me you wanted me, you wanted it all with me!"

He snorts. "Why the hell would I say that? I'd never want someone like you."

"B-but…" Her voice weakly whimpers.

He turns, walking out of the room.

"L-Levi! You promised me you'd always be beside me, that you'd always be there for me!" Her voice shakes with betrayal, grief filling her at the sight of the man she loves leaving her with two people who want to make her life miserable.

He looks over his shoulder, eyes full of contempt, a cold smirk on his face. "I lied."

She screams, begs for him to come back, desperately needing him, and horror fills her as Derek began to approach her, knife in hand, Uma looking on, thrilled to see Isa in pain, giddy at what is about to happen.

"Isa! Wake up! It's just a dream! Wake up!"

A worried voice pulled her out, though her eyes remained clenched tight, tears streaming down her face. Her throat felt raw from the screams she hadn't realized had been coming from her, waking Levi from his own sleep.

"Isa, it's Levi. I'm right here."

She shuddered, terrified of what she'd seen, terrified to open her eyes, terrified she'd open her eyes and be back in that nightmare.

He kept his voice low and soothing, trying to pull her the rest of the way out of her nightmare, worried that her eyes were squeezed shut. "Come on, sweetheart, I need you to open your eyes. I promise you, you're safe. Nothing is going to hurt you."

Too full of horror and fear, the pet name never even registered, body shaking, struggling to speak through her tears. "I c-can't."

He never even noticed the pet name fall so naturally from his lips, too concerned for Isa's state, his own heart pounding at the sound of her screaming his name echoing in his mind, fearful of what the nightmare had held. "Why?"

The words fell from her in a fearful whimper. "I'm a-f-fraid."

His heart clenched at her words, hating anytime she was scared of something, desperately trying to find ways to comfort her without touching her. "What are you afraid of?"

She sniffled, unable to control the shakes moving through her body, breaths hitching as she spoke. "T-that I'll op-pen my…my eyes and I'll…I'll b-be back in that n-nightmare."

"I promise you, that's not what's going to happen. I'm going to put my hand on your face okay?"

She nodded.

She felt a shift in the mattress as he came closer, and her breath shuddered out when she felt a warm, familiar weight on her face, featherlight touches running across her cheek.

His voice whispered in her ear, reassuring her that nothing was going to hurt her. "It's me, Isa. It's Levi. I promise you, you're safe. Open your eyes."

She took a deep breath, and her eyes fluttered open, and when she saw him, his blue eyes locked onto hers, full of worry, she couldn't stop the sob of relief that fell from her.

She threw herself at him, drawing him close, arms wrapped around his neck, shuddering sobs wracking through her body as she pressed her face against his neck.

Her head shook against him, voice a horrified whisper. "It felt so real, Levi. It was awful."

His hand came up to stroke her hair, fingers running through the silky strands, pressing his lips against the top of her head, doing his best to comfort. "Shh, I know, it's okay. You're safe now, I promise you. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere."

The thoughts were coming back, and she was struggling to fight them, to negate them. She knew they weren't true, but they were playing too loud in her mind, and they were starting to win.

'As if he'd ever want someone as plain and pathetic as you.'

'I lied.'

'I'd never want someone like you.'

'Men don't want a woman who's loud and outspoken.'

'He sees you as a really good friend.'

'Eyes the color of mud, hair that's dull and dry.'

"L-Levi?" She whimpered, the remnants of the nightmare bringing those thoughts back that Levi would get tired of her, that he didn't want her, that she was plain and pathetic, undesirable.

Even though you two have done things, it's still not everything he wants. He's going to grow tired of you.

He doesn't really want you, you're plain and pathetic, no one would want someone like you.

What man wants someone so timid and shy, blushing over every little thing, giggling like a child?

He brushed a gentle kiss across her temple, fingers threading through her hair, thumb brushing gently across her cheek. "I'm right here, just tell me what you need."

She whimpered as the thoughts wouldn't leave her mind. "I…do you remember all those weeks ago when I told you that I would sometimes need help with my thoughts?" Her voice cracked on the last word.

He drew her in tighter. "I do."

She struggled to get the words out, voice so hushed he almost didn't hear. "I…I need your help right now. I…something happened in my nightmare, and those thoughts are coming back. I'm trying, I really am, but I…I need you to help me." Her voice was desperate as she spoke, needing him to remind her, knowing it would help kill off these weeds threatening to grow.

He pulled back, cupping her face in his hands, keeping his eyes locked on hers so she could see the seriousness in them. "Hey, it's okay, I'm right here."

He pressed his lips to her forehead, her cheeks, pulling back to rest his forehead on hers, fingers gently massaging her scalp, and she was further soothed. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise you I'm not going to get tired of you."

His thumbs wiped at the tears still spilling down her cheeks, desperately trying to comfort, sensing that something had happened in her nightmare that was worse than anything she'd ever experienced. "I want to be with you, and only you, I want it all with you, whatever we want that to be. That's not going to change, I promise."

A breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding left her, as his words and his sweet kisses killed off the growing weed in her mind.

She brought a hand up to his face, stroking lightly at the skin, eyes still full of tears, though they had finally stopped falling. "Thank you, that was perfect."

"Of course. Anytime you need my help, you only need to ask."

She sniffled, a watery smile filling her face. "I will, Levi."

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Based on the other times she'd had a nightmare, he knew she felt better after telling him what happened.

"I…it was similar to the last one except…"

"Except what?"

"You were there."

He didn't like the sound of that, swallowing thickly. "I was?"

She couldn't stop the way the words stammered out of her, struggling to speak, horrified at the nightmare. "Y-yes, and…and the way you l-looked at me, it…it was as if you h-hated me. I've n-never seen that look on your face before. N-not t-towards me. You s-said you w-would never want to b-be with someone like me. And I was b-begging you to help me, to untie me before he c-could…and you refused. I said you p-promised me you'd always b-be by m-my side, that you'd always help m-me. And th-then…and then you s-said, 'I lied,' and w-walked out, l-leaving me with him."

She shuddered, eyes squeezing shut, more terrified at the thought of losing Levi, of him hating her, than what Derek had been about to do.

"Hey, look at me," he gently commanded.

She forced her eyes to open, to hold his gaze, soothed by the warmth in them as he tried to reassure her.

"I promise you, that is not true. That would never happen. I could never hate you. I would never say those things. I would never leave you alone with him."

New tears were threatening to spill, still shaken up. "I…I know it's not true, I know none of it was true, but in that moment, it felt real, so real, and it was horrifying."

He brought her close, tucking her head against his chest. "Shh, it's okay, just hold onto me as long as you need."

His muffled heartbeat soothed her the way it always did. "I…I don't know if I can go back to sleep, Levi. I'm terrified."

"You don't have to if you can't, not right now. But I promise you, I won't let you go if you do."

Despite her lingering fear, her voice was firm as she spoke, wanting to make sure he understood this nightmare had not changed anything. "I promise you, Levi, that this nightmare didn't make me afraid of you, in any way. I'm not sure what triggered that, but it's not going to work. I know, deep down, that you wouldn't do anything like that, it's just going to take a little bit to fully remember that."

She felt his lips brush across the top of her head, hand stroking lightly at her hair. "Take all the time you need. I know that you know that. Just try to relax now, I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere."

She snuggled closer, letting his warmth, the steady sound of his heart, the rise and fall of his chest, remind her that he was right there, beside her, always.

Levi promised me he would never get tired of me, that he wouldn't give up on me, that he would always be beside me.

He doesn't make promises lightly, not unless he fully intends on keeping them.

He says what he means and means what he says.

He cares about me, I know he does. He would never lie to me.

He's never done anything to hurt me, never done anything that would make me think he'd go against his word.

He's kind, sweet, and he trusts me, like I trust him.

I don't know where the hell that nightmare came from, but I refuse to let it try to make me afraid of him.

That.

Will.

Not.

Happen.

Those small reminders coupled with the warm feeling of being safe anytime she was with Levi finally wiped away the rest of the fear, and she was somehow able to drift off to a peaceful, nightmare-free sleep, snuggling ever closer to him, knowing he would hold her as she slept.

The following days passed without nightmares, much to Isa and Levi's relief. Levi had been truly horrified by what her mind had shown her in her nightmare. He would never do or say any of that, and he knew she knew it as well, she just needed reminders at times, which he would always provide to her, no questions asked.

After about a week since the nightmare, she stopped by the small mailroom on base one evening after training, eager to see if she'd gotten a letter from Armin. Since they'd met, the two had been writing each other every so often, sharing bits and pieces of their lives. She'd managed to make time to go visit him one other time since the day Uma had kidnapped her, and she missed the little boy, missed his energy, his optimistic, innocent nature. In one of his letters, he'd told her that he and his two friends, Eren and Mikasa, had started working in one of the fields, needing a way to afford food and lodging, and she hated that he had to do that.

She hated, more than anything, that he and his friends were having to work in the fields to survive. They were children. She may not have had an ideal childhood, but children deserve to play, be free, have fun. Not work in a field in the sweltering heat, suffering, while the people in Mitras did nothing.

Send them to the fields and work. Let's see how they like it.

In her last visit, she'd used up about half of the money she still had left from what she'd stolen from those people in Mitras to buy Armin food for him and his friends, as well as anything else she could think of to help them. Blankets to keep them warm, fluffy pillows, even a journal for Armin so he could write down his thoughts. He'd tried to protest, but she'd insisted, telling him she had no other use for the money, and she was more than happy to use it to help him and his friends.

She hadn't had the chance to meet Eren and Mikasa, though Armin had told her so much about them, the way the two helped take care of him, keep him safe. She had a sense that Armin did his own fair share of work in keeping the other two safe even if he didn't see it. She could tell that he underestimated himself, much like she did with herself. From her own experience, she knew it would take time for him to grow more confident. She herself was still working on becoming more confident.

Approaching the carrier, she was thrilled when he handed her a letter, knowing it was from Armin. There was no other person who could be writing to her. Settling in a chair at the table along the wall of the room, she tore into Armin's letter, reading through his words, always excited to hear from him, even if it was him just wanting to say hi and let her know he was okay.

Isa,

I hope you're well, and safe. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to answer, but they've kept us busy on the fields, and some nights I'm too tired to even hold a quill.

I'm writing you to let you know that Eren, Mikasa, and I have enlisted in the Military, and our training starts in a few months.

I'm not sure if they allow visitors while training, and if they do, how often, so I would really love it if you could visit sometime soon.

It's been a while since you last visited, and I'd like to see you, and you could meet Eren and Mikasa. I've told them about you and Eren keeps asking me when he can meet you.

He really wants to join the Scouts, and the thought of meeting a Scout is almost too much for him to handle.

Don't tell him I said that.

Mikasa is excited at the thought too, though she shows her excitement in a different way.

Just…fair warning…when you meet Eren, he's probably going to ask you many, many questions about what it's like outside the walls.

He has this urge, this need, to go beyond the walls that's hard to describe. It's more than what I feel at the thought of going outside the walls. I just want to know what's out there. He…it's hard to explain. You'll understand once you meet him.

I hope to see you soon. Stay safe, please.

Armin

She couldn't stop the affectionate smile at Armin's letter. She'd grown to care for him, saw him as a little brother, and she hated that she couldn't visit more often. Seeing that he was going to be starting training soon, she would go see him the day after they returned from their next expedition.

Assuming she survived it.

Eager to write back, she quickly pulled out a piece of paper and a quill from her satchel.

Dear Armin,

I would absolutely love to come and visit you. I'm sorry that I haven't been able to visit more. Between the trial with Derek and then training picking up as we near our upcoming expedition, it's been busy.

I have some news I can't wait to share with you, and I think you'll be proud to hear what I have to say.

I finally took that risk with Levi, and it paid off. You, and everyone I know, were right about him. We've been together a couple of months now, and it's been the best time of my life.

So thank you, Armin. You helped me, more than you know.

As for your training, they have certain days where they allow the families of cadets to come visit, and if you'd like, I would be more than happy to come visit you in training. I want to hear all about your adventures and the new stories you'll have to share.

Our next expedition is next week, so I'll come see you the day after we return. I'll meet you outside the lodging in the fields you're working in.

I look forward to seeing you. You stay safe too, sweetheart.

Isa

She set her letter to Armin in the to be delivered pile before making her way back to Levi's office, looking forward to seeing the innocent boy. She hated to hear that they were working them too hard out on the fields, and she wished she could do more to help, but she was limited in resources.

The best she could do was provide him with support and be his family. She knew that all he had left were Eren, Mikasa, and herself.

She was more than happy to be there for him, in any way she could be, knowing exactly what it felt like to be alone, to lose everything. She was relieved he still had Eren and Mikasa, otherwise, she might have given in to the temptation and brought her to base with her, despite it being completely illogical.

The thought of her upcoming visit with Armin had her smiling as she stopped by her room to grab her sketchbook. She let herself into Levi's office, settling herself onto his couch, eager to sketch, knowing he wouldn't be back for a while, stuck in a meeting with Erwin, Hange, and Mike.

Her charcoal flew across the page as she continued her most recent one of him, one from that first night with him.

That night stuck with her in her mind more than any other night, and she had a feeling it was because it was the first time she did anything sexual with him. Now that she knew what he looked like, her imagination had become more…vivid when she sketched.

She had a separate sketchbook for her more…risqué drawings, hoping that he never saw these. She'd barely been able to handle it the first time he'd seen her drawings of him, and she didn't even want to imagine his reaction if he saw what she was drawing now. But she just couldn't help it. Now that their relationship had finally turned more sexual as they moved closer and closer to what she wanted, what they both wanted, it was as if another side of her was awakening, one she hadn't known existed.

And she loved that she was experiencing this with Levi, loved that it was him pulling this side from her. She enjoyed what she'd already experienced with him, but she wanted it all, and was always eager to keep pushing.

So engrossed with the current sketch she was doing of him, she didn't hear the door open and close, nor did she sense him when he leaned onto the couch behind her, resting his arms on the back of the couch, head beside hers as he took in her sketch.

When he pressed his lips to her cheek, she shrieked, heart leaping in her throat, sketchbook flying out of her hands landing behind her on the floor. Eyes wide, she turned to face him, flushing at the amused expression on his face at her reaction. That teasing light was filling his eyes, always looking for ways to tease and poke fun at her, the way she did with him, something both of them enjoyed about their relationship.

"I've told you that you should get your head out of the clouds. Though, from what you were drawing, I don't blame you for being distracted."

She buried her face in her hands, face flaming, redder than she'd ever felt.

Holy shit he saw.

I can't believe.

He saw.

My sketch.

Of him.

Like that.

She resisted when she felt strong, but gentle hands encircle her wrists, pulling hers off her face.

A breathless chuckle filled the air, his voice full of light amusement as he spoke. "Isa, it's not that big of a deal."

She let out a frustrated, mortified breath. "I just…I never intended for you to see that."

"Why? It's not like I don't already know you have drawings of me."

"But you didn't know I drew you like that."

"Relax, I promise you, it's not a big deal." He leaned in close to whisper in her ear. "Besides, if I could draw, I'd draw you."

She shuddered, the thought of him drawing her naked was surprisingly arousing, and she almost wished he could draw. She peeked out from between her fingers. "It really doesn't bother you?"

A bemused look crossed his face. "Why would it bother me?"

She shrugged, slowly bringing her hands away from her face, though the flush still remained. "I don't know, just, I don't know."

"Who am I to tell you what you can and can't draw? Just…just don't let anyone else see those."

She took note of the pink creeping up to his cheeks and leapt at the chance to tease. "What's the matter, Captain, afraid your subordinates might think less of you if they see you that way? Maybe I should show your adoring fans, give them a breadcrumb and they might finally leave you alone."

The horrified look on his face had laughter bursting out of her, the embarrassment of the moment long gone, his patience always reminding her that she didn't need to worry about these things with him.

"You…you…you should…see your face." The words came out between her gasps as she struggled to contain her laughter.

As she giggled, a thought occurred to her, another opportunity to tease. Leaping at the chance with his distraction, she jumped over the back of his couch and grabbed her sketchbook, dashing for the door.

She called out over her shoulder, voice full of humor now. "Have you seen any of your subordinates or adoring fans? I have something to show them."

Before she could even make it halfway to the door, he'd caught up to her, arms wrapping around her waist as he lifted her off her feet, bringing back the laughter.

Her head fell back against his shoulder, her musical laughs filling the room. "Levi, put me down."

If anything, his hold tightened on her. "Not happening. I'm not risking you showing that to anyone."

As she struggled against him, trying to break free, his fingers accidentally pressed down on a spot in Isa's side that had her jolting, dropping her sketchbook on the floor, giggling at the ticklish feel.

Oh shit.

She could practically hear what he was thinking, could practically see the smirk on his face.

He ran his fingers down her side again, and she squirmed in his hold, though the effort was futile, his arms were iron tight around her.

"L-Levi s-top, p-please." She struggled getting the words out, squealing laughs falling from her.

Breathless, her squeals and giggles ringing around them as he tickled her, a playful side of Levi she'd never seen. And despite the sensation of being tickled, joy filled her at the thought that she'd brought out this side of him.

I did this. I keep bringing out sides of him that I've never seen, that I don't even think Furlan and Isabel got to see.

This…this is all me.

Uncontrollable laughs fell from her, tears gathering at the corner of her eyes as they squeezed shut. Her sides and cheeks were starting to hurt from laughing for so long, but she didn't care. The sound of his light chuckles in her ear, the feel of his body shaking slightly with each one, adding to the warmth flowing through her, the knowledge that there were still parts of him she hadn't seen.

And she wanted to see them all.

When he finally let his hands rest at her sides as he still held her, her chest heaved with gasps as she struggled to regain her breaths.

He leaned his head in to whisper in her ear. "Now, I'll stop, if you promise me that those drawings of yours are for mine, and your eyes only."

She turned her head slightly so she could meet his eyes, hand coming up behind her to stroke at his hair. "Don't worry, Levi, I would never show anyone those drawings."

She shivered when his lips brushed at the nape of her neck, before walking over to set her back down on the couch.

She watched as he grabbed the two cups sitting on his desk, before sitting down next to her.

He held out one of the cups, eyes full of amusement. "If you're done being a pain in the ass, I brought you some tea."

She took the tea from him, an innocent look filling her face. "You've told me I do that without even trying, so I don't know if I could ever be done."

She took a sip of her tea, eyeing him over the mug, humor filling her eyes and lining her voice.

He smirked at her, shaking his head in amusement. "Smartass."

Never offended in the slightest, she giggled, always knowing he didn't mean it, simply enjoying when he teased her the way she enjoyed teasing him. Sliding closer to him, she enjoyed the comforting warmth that came when he wrapped his arm around her, drawing her tight against him. It always thrilled her how much he seemed to enjoy holding her close, as if her presence provided him comfort, the way his did with her. She let her head settle onto his shoulder, and could do nothing to stop the affectionate smile when she felt his lips brush across the top of her head.

Just as she was learning as they moved forward in their relationship, he was learning new ways to be affectionate, and she was personally a fan of this one, somehow acting as a reminder that she was always safe with him, that he'd always do everything he could to protect her.

Even though the nightmare from the previous week had terrified her, she knew, without a doubt, that he would never say or do any of that. That night, the remnants of the nightmare had still been coursing through her, bringing back old thoughts, but somehow, it had been easier to quell those thoughts than it had ever been. She hoped it would continue to get easier and easier, and she knew that Levi would always help her, without question.

All she had to do was ask.

Eager as always to keep trying, to keep going, each night hopeful that it would be the night that she would finally be able to be with Levi in the way she wanted to be, she set her now empty mug on the table in front of her and turned to face him. She knew what she wanted to try, felt ready to see how far he could go again, so she maneuvered herself into his lap, knees straddling him, smiling shyly.

"Hi."

Amusement filled his eyes as his hands came up to rest on her hips. "Hi."

She took a breath, and let what she wanted fall from her mouth. "Levi, I...I want you to try to see how far you can go again tonight."

She could tell by the way his hands tightened on her hips and the way his head fell forward against her shoulder that he didn't like the idea. And then she felt more than heard his sigh.

"You're killing me, you know that right."

Despite knowing he hated whenever something he did caused her any form of pain, she needed to keep going, to keep trying. The last thing she wanted was to give up and give in.

"I do, but I need to know, Levi. The only way for us to know if this is working, is if we test it out this way."

When he brought his head back up, she was surprised to see the slightest hint of nerves in his eyes.

And it dawned on her.

She realized that it had troubled him more than she'd thought when his touches caused her to remember something, bringing her pain. She could feel the slightest hint of guilt that she hadn't considered how her pushing them to keep trying to see how far he could go would affect him.

She let her hand move from his hair to rest on the side of his face, thumb stroking lightly at his cheek, relishing in the way he pressed into her hand ever so slightly, as if he enjoyed her touch as much as she did his.

An affectionate smile filled her face, eyes warming further as she looked down at him. "Hey, if you don't feel comfortable doing this tonight, then that's okay. Just like you won't push me, I'm not going to push you. We can keep doing what we've been doing until you feel more comfortable with trying again."

"I just...I don't want to hurt you."

She pressed her lips to his forehead, wanting to comfort, hating that she hadn't taken his feelings into consideration.

All her talk about relationships not being one-sided, and she'd failed him, forgetting, or more so not thinking how difficult it is for him to say what he's feeling.

"I know, Levi," she murmured, "and I promise you, anytime I remember something while you're touching me, it's not you that's hurting me. The man responsible for hurting me is locked up."

She took a breath, held his gaze, silently promising him she'd do better. "And if anything, I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"I never stopped to think about how this was affecting you. I keep pushing to try again, without thinking about how you might feel about it."

His face softened. "You don't have to worry about me."

"But I do, Levi," she insisted. "It can't always be about me. I know feelings and emotions aren't your strong suit, they're not mine either. But if something is bothering you or making you uncomfortable, I need you to tell me, the same way you want me to tell you."

He took in a breath, nodding. "I can try."

"That's all I ask. So you tell me what you feel comfortable with doing."

"If...if you want to try again, I'm okay with that."

She brushed her lips across his cheek, rubbing it with her thumb as if sealing it. "As long as you're comfortable."

His hands moved up to her waist, the heat of them searing through her shirt. "That's supposed to be my line."

She nibbled at her lip, leaning in closer. "Maybe I'll keep it."

Without saying anything else, he closed the distance, letting his lips meet hers, tilting his head, deepening it when her lips parted for him, letting the taste of her, the smell of her, the feel of her take over as it consumed him, making it seem as if they were the only two people in the world.

She sighed into his mouth when she felt his hands slip under her shirt, teasing the smooth skin of her waist, light tingles sending shivers up her spine. Her hands had moved from his face so she could wrap her arms around his neck, hands brushing through the short strands of hair on the back of his head, intrigued with the way he shivered when she did. She loved when he kissed her this way, so slow and lazy, as if he could do nothing more than this for the rest of his life, bringing that gentle fog to her mind that made everything else disappear, leaving only her, and Levi, and everything he made her feel.

She hoped she never got used to the smell of him, the taste of him, everything about him was so dizzying, overwhelming her senses. Her breath hitched when his hands came up to tease her nipples, thumbs brushing lightly across the rigid peaks, a low moan pouring from her into his mouth as she shivered, the light pulls to her center starting to slowly build the ache within her.

His mouth trailed across her jaw, pressing light kisses along her face as his hand grazed down to caress her stomach before moving down between her legs, cupping her gently over her pants. All she felt was the searing heat of his hand as it covered her, and she couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips when nothing happened.

Clearly wanting to test further before doing anything else, he let his fingers tease along the hem of her pants, sliding in to cup her over her panties. She moaned when he rubbed gently at her clit above her panties, the texture sending a different heat she'd never felt through her, never having experimented with touching herself over her panties. But when he pulled his hand away, she whimpered in protest, wanting more of his touch, even though she knew what he was going to do next.

His mouth traced down her neck, resting on the pulse point and could feel her racing heart beneath the tender skin. He took a deep breath, and moved his hand up so that he could slip it under her panties, gently sliding a finger through her folds, head spinning at how wet she already was, how responsive she was to the simplest of touches, relishing in the fact that it wasn't just him.

Tears of joy formed in her eyes at the realization that he could touch her anywhere, no longer needing him to guide her. Overwhelmed with emotion, she brought his head up from her neck, and peppered kisses all over his face.

She pulled back, fingers threading into his hair. "Levi, it...it worked. It really worked."

His hands came back to rest at her waist as he smiled up at her. "It looks like it did," he murmured.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you." Each thank you emphasized by a kiss to his forehead, his cheeks, his chin, his nose.

He chuckled. "You don't have to thank me."

Ignoring his words, needing him to understand how much she appreciated everything he'd done for her, she pulled back, pressing her forehead against his, hands coming up to cup her face. A warm smile filled her face, as she looked down in his eyes that were locked on her, and only her.

"Thank you for not giving up on me. I know you promised you wouldn't, but thank you, Levi. None of this could have happened with anyone else. There's no one else I could have ever trusted to get me through this. I don't want anyone else. Only you."

The affectionate look on her face had an answering warmth flowing through him, one he had yet to figure out, much to his frustration. All he knew was that he never wanted to lose this feeling, never wanted to lose her. His only response was to lean up and press his lips to hers, silently telling her that he'd do it again and again if it meant helping her, supporting her, being there for her, the way he'd promised her he would always be.

She pulled back, thumbs stroking at his face, feeling completely ready for the next step. A shy smile filled her face at the affection and desire she saw in his eyes. Words she'd only ever read, but felt so right spilled from her mouth, as she held his gaze.

"Take me, Levi. Make me yours."

His eyes widened, heart skipping a beat in his chest. "Are you sure?"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life. I want this, Levi, with you, and only you."

She watched as he swallowed, and she thought she saw the nerves come back to his eyes, but they were gone so fast she wondered if she'd imagined them. Instead, his hand came up to cradle her head, bringing her head down so he could meet her lips with his, starting slow as he always did, slowly deepening it as he felt her melt into him. Without breaking the kiss, he rose, and her legs wrapped around his waist as he carried her to his room, setting her gently on his bed.

He pulled back, crawling over her to hover as he looked down at her, seeing the nerves in her eyes, though they were faint, nowhere near what they'd held that very first night, and the sight had relief flooding him that he'd helped her.

His hands reached down to the hem of her shirt, dragging it slowly up and over her, and she shivered at the heated trails that followed his fingers as they traced the bare skin that was slowly revealed.

Reaching up, she pulled his shirt off of him, letting her hands trace along the lean, taut muscles of his chest, the heat of them almost burning her fingers.

She let her hands wander across his hot skin, wanting to touch, wanting to feel, and was confused when he pulled her hands from him, setting them back on the mattress.

His lips brushed across her forehead, "This is about you," her cheek, "and only you," her other cheek. He brought his lips to her ears and whispered. "I just want you to feel. Let me take care of you."

He pulled back, hand coming to rest in her face, thumb stroking lightly at her face, a small, but warm smile filling his face as he looked down at her. Swallowing thickly her blood rushed at his words. As she looked up at him and nodded, she noted the way the moonlight from the window cast shadows across his face, somehow highlighting the warmth in his eyes, the affection in them, and it had her heart flipping in her chest.

A content hum fell from her when he dipped his head down, trailing his lips along her jaw, down her neck, pressing them to the pulse point, sucking lightly, marking her as his. She never wanted him to stop, wanting to always be marked as his, wanting everyone who'd ever told her she'd never be wanted to know how wrong they'd been.

She wanted the constant reminder that she was wanted, desired, and she could feel it in the gentle way his hands came up to knead at her breasts, her light sigh filled the air when his thumbs brushed across her nipples, teasing them once again, sending light pulls to her center. The feel of his roughened palms and fingers on her sensitive skin always thrilled her, set her skin aflame, a constant reminder of his strength, yet always holding firm to his promise to her to never hurt her.

She knew he still feared that one day she'd be afraid of him, that he'd do something to hurt her. And she'd spend the rest of her life reminding him that could never happen.

As long as he'd let her.

His lips grazed down to the supple flesh of her breasts, slowly working his way down to the sensitive tips, a shocked gasp falling from her when he flicked the tip with his tongue, sending golden heat spearing to the ache that was slowly building within her.

Back arching when he drew he drew her nipple in his mouth and sucked hard, a throaty moan passed through her lips as a hot arrow lanced to the ache, fueling it even more, threatening to burn her if she got too close.

She could feel something building inside her, something she knew would overwhelm her when it exploded, always surprised at how sensitive her breasts and nipples were, how she reacted to him, but now she enjoyed it, relished in it, no longer embarrassed. If she hadn't been so consumed by the heated pulls moving through her, she might have laughed at her past self that very first night, when she'd felt embarrassed, mortified at how easily she reacted to him.

Now she only hoped she never stopped, knowing he enjoyed how easily he could get her to moan, whimper, beg with the simplest of touches, the same way she relished in how easily she could make him groan. One day she wanted to see if she could make him beg, but for now, all she could do was lose herself to the delicious sensations coursing through her body, from the brush of his fingers, the searing tingles following the trail his hot mouth and tongue as they passed over her stomach.

He sat up, reaching for the button of her pants, drawing her pants and panties down and over her legs, baring her to him.

Skin tingling and burning hot, she was curious to see what his next move would be, hopeful it would be something she'd wanted for a while. She let her legs part open, searing heat slicing through her at the way his eyes filled with hot desire.

Swallowing, she took a breath. "You...you too," she murmured, excitement and nerves kindling inside her.

He nodded, stripping off his pants and boxers, and she felt a hot flush creeping across her entire body at the sight of finally seeing Levi completely bare, amazed at how aroused he got when she hadn't even done anything to him. And it was better than anything she could have ever imagined, and had nerves, desire, and excitement tangling together inside her.

He settled in between her parted legs, hands stroking at her hips as his eyes came to hers, and she could see the silent question, knowing he wanted to be sure she wanted what he was about to do, not wanting to do something they hadn't already done without giving her a warning. Despite the nerves at him using his mouth on her, excitement pulsed through her veins, wanting to try, wanting to experience, always eager for more. She nodded her head, taking a breath as she let her legs part further, and a rush flowed through her, joining the excitement, at the hungry look that came to his eyes, knowing it matched the one in hers when she did this to him.

His hand came up between her legs, always easing her into the new with what she was already used to, finger gliding through her folds to rest on her clit, circling slowly as he began to build her arousal even more. She could feel the tension in her muscles leave her at the feel of his roughened fingertip on the sensitive bud, sending ripples of heat throughout her. She almost never wanted to touch herself again, knowing her own fingers would never satisfy her after feeling his on her.

Her body relaxed completely as she gave herself over to the feel of his hands on her, to the feel of him touching her without guidance, relishing in the feel of her pleasure being in his control. A shock gasp exploded from her, her back arching when she felt his tongue glide through her folds for the first time to end at her clit, teasing it, the sensation more than she could have ever expected, more exhilarating than she could have ever dreamed.

Her drawn-out moan filled the air when she felt him taste her once again, allowing her to adjust to the feel. She truly hoped she never adjusted to this, the glorious feel of his mouth and tongue sliding across her sent spears of heat to the knot building inside her that she wanted to feel again and again. She hadn't known it could feel this way, could never have imagined that it would feel this way, pleasure rippling across her skin centering from where his hot mouth and tongue were searing into her, working to drag her up to her peak. Her hands were curled in tight fists in her pillow on either side of her head, needing something to ground her.

A desperate mewling sound she'd never heard before fell from her at the feel of him slipping two fingers inside of her, and the combined feel of his fingers sliding in and out of her, hitting that spot each time and his tongue licking, rubbing, circling at her clit had molten heat searing throughout her system, more than she'd ever felt as the knot tighten further. She was delirious with pleasure, breaths now panting out, head flopping over so that her cheek now lay against the cool pillow, contrasting the burning of her skin, all sense of modesty was gone as her hips bucked against his face when he sucked against the sensitive bundle of nerves, glorious heat spearing under her skin, and the vibrations from his chuckle spurred the ache further.

His arm came around her thigh to hold her hips down and he gave her clit a fierce suck that threatened to undo her as she cried out his name, clutching at his hair, fingers threading into the silky strands as she begged him not to stop, desperate for release, overwhelmed by everything he was giving her. Her eyes had clenched tight, her breaths were falling from her in high-pitched pants, her skin glistening, as she completely surrendered to the feel of him being in control of her pleasure, just as she'd always wanted, reveling in the knowledge that she no longer needed to guide him.

She was so close, she could feel the knot, and it was so tight it was almost painful, her pants having morphed into desperate cries filling the air around them. Her eyes fluttered open, but nothing registered around her. For her, all that existed was her, and Levi, nothing else. Glancing down through hazy, pleasure filled eyes, the sight of his face between her legs coupled with a light nip against her clit and a perfectly timed pump against that spot inside her shoved her over the edge. Her head fell back against the pillow, back arching, hands clenching tight in his hair, his name burst from her, her shuddering moan filling the air as her hips tried to roll against his face, seeking more, the burning tension consuming her.

Before she even had time to float back down, he was reeling her back up again, his tongue circling at her clit once more, working it at a fierce pace, fingers still moving, and she could feel the knot tightening once again, needy mewls falling from her parted lips, the sensitivity spurring the ache, building faster than ever. Her hips were desperately trying to roll against him, seeking more of the delicious tension but his hold around her remained firm, holding her hips in place, leaving her at his mercy.

Just as she'd always wanted.

She snapped once again, crying out, the knot unraveling when he gave her clit a fierce suck that shoved her over the edge once again, her eyes clenched tight. The searing waves were extended as his tongue and fingers slowly worked her back down, loud, desperate whimpers falling from her mouth as she shuddered. Finally, she slumped into the mattress, full of bliss, a satisfied, humming moan vibrating deep in her throat, eager for more, ready to finally be with him, the way she'd longed for for far too long.

As she floated, relishing in the glorious hum rippling under skin, one brought completely by him, with no guidance from her, she felt a shift in the mattress, followed by featherlight sensations roaming across her face that she recognized as his lips, silently calling her back to him, the way she'd always done with him. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up to see him watching her closely, hand now on her face, thumb stroking lightly, as he silently asked her if she was ready, waiting for her to tell him she was okay.

Nodding, she swallowed thickly, more ready than she'd ever been, nerves, excitement, desire, and the remnants of all the pleasure he'd already given her curling tight in her stomach. She thought she saw the slightest hint of nerves swirling with the affection and desire in his eyes, and she realized that being someone's first must be as scary as doing this for the first time, even if it was with someone you cared about, and the knowledge helped wash away the last vestiges of her own nerves.

Wanting to reassure, she brought her own hand up to his face, tracing across the shadows under his eyes, before threading her fingers in his hair, bringing his head down so she could meet his lips with hers, letting him know she wanted this, that she wanted this with him, and only him. He pulled back, taking her hand in his, and her heart flipped when he pressed his lips to the center of her palm, the sweetness of it had her eyes sparkling with affection. She half expected there to be a searing mark on her hand left behind from the heat of his lips.

Setting her hand back down, she watched, swallowing thickly as he grasped himself in his hand, guiding his cock to her opening before gently sliding in, eyes intent on hers, watching for any signs of discomfort, ready to stop at the slightest hint that she was in pain. Her arms had come to wrap around him, and her nails bit into his back when she felt the slightest, burning pinch, breathing out, nodding at him to keep going when he paused to give her time to adjust, blue eyes focused on her, and only her.

When he slid all the way in, seated to the hilt, she felt no other pain, and couldn't stop the low moan of pleasure that escaped her at the feel of him stretching her, nor could she stop the hot rush that hit her center at the sound of his own groan filling the air. Her mind was spinning at the dizzying feel of him inside her. She hadn't known it could feel this way, she hadn't known she could feel so full, it was more than she could have ever imagined, than she could have ever dreamed.

"Are you okay?" He murmured into her ear, and she thought he sounded slightly strained.

"I'm...I'm fine." She managed to pant out, voice breathless, desperate for him to move, needing more.

He groaned when she involuntarily clenched around him. "Wrap your legs around my waist."

She did as he asked, eager to please, eager to learn, and she somehow felt even fuller than before.

Her head fell back on a gasp, eyes clenching tight, when she felt him draw his hips back and push back in, the feel of it unlike anything she'd ever experienced on her own. Fingers were nothing compared to his cock pressing deep inside her, reaching even more spots she hadn't known existed. He kept up a steady rhythm, gliding in and out of her, her hips moving of their own accord to meet him, desperately seeking out the pleasure she could feel building deep inside her.

Her high pitched pants mingled with his low groans, filling the air surrounding them. His forearms had come up to cage her head, and she felt surrounded by him, adding to the burn within her. Her eyes fluttered open to meet his, and the look on his face had her breath hitching for a different reason, and she couldn't stop the affectionate smile from forming on her face, eyes hazy with arousal. Mixing in with the desire and pleasure rippling across his face, in his eyes, was pure affection, the softness of his expression had her heart clenching, and she knew just how deeply he cared for her.

'A man's eyes never lie.'

She didn't know if he loved her, the way she loved him, but in that moment, she knew he cared for her more than he'd cared for any other person in his entire life, and for her, that was more than enough. Just knowing that she was one of the most important people in his life was enough. But then, all semblance of thought left her, as she felt the tension build even more, high-pitched, breathy moans falling from her, mixing with his own strained grunts.

Bringing his head down, she met his lips with hers, needing any point of contact with him she could get. The feel of him moving inside her, stretching her, filling her, the feel of his chest against her, his forearms caging her head, all sending hot, golden tipped spears through her, fueling the tightening knot within her.

When he hit one particular spot inside her, she threw back her head on a moan, hand raking through his hair, her whispered voice begging him not to stop, not to ever stop, the searing pleasure coursing through her the only thing she felt. He pressed his lips against the exposed skin of her neck, and her hands moved to grip onto his back, the sound of his occasional muffled groans in her ear fueling her desire, fueling the knot.

He raised his head back up, his forearms still caging her head, pressing his lips to hers, never stopping the movement of his hips meeting hers. She met his kiss, reveling once more in the extra contact. Her teeth bit down on him when one intense heated arrow shot through her, her low moan mingling with his groan.

He brought a hand in between them so he could gently rub her clit with his thumb, the act had a hitched breath escaping her, and she felt the promise of something deeper building within her. Her nails bit into his back as she grew closer and closer to utter bliss, desperate, needy moans falling from her.

Without warning, the knot inside her tightened and burst, deeper, more intense than anything she'd ever felt as the searing heat ripped through her, his name escaping her lips on a high-pitched cry, her nails in his back digging in even more, hips twitching against his as endless waves crashed over her, threatening to drown her.

Her walls clenching even tighter around him had him pausing, gripping the sheets next to her as he fought for control, a strained groan escaping him as he buried his head in her neck, shuddering at the tightness surrounding him, more than he could have ever expected. The sound of it had her shuddering, relishing at the knowledge that she was somehow driving him crazy, that she somehow could make him lose control. She wanted to know what he was like when he lost control. Wanted to be the only one who could make him lose control.

The waves had barely finished when she felt him take her hips in his hands, tilting them further up as he began thrusting again, faster this time, harder, determined to make this as good as possible for her, needing her to feel the way he felt. A desperate cry fell from her at the feel of him hitting even deeper within her, the change in angle, the fact that she was now completely at his mercy, her pleasure completely in his control, had something building inside her once again, this one burning hotter, faster, already sensitive from everything he'd already given her. His hand moved so that his thumb could rub in firmer, tighter circles on her sensitive nub, and it was almost too much, but she reveled in the feel, her legs tightening around his waist, nails raking down his back as louder, needier moans escaped her, begging him once more not to stop, to never stop.

He pressed his lips against her ear, whispering a gentle command to her, the slightest hint of authority in his strained voice. "Come for me."

His words had her hands flopping to the sheets to grip tight as she exploded around him once more, this one a bit shorter, but more intense, all consuming, as she screamed out his name, back arching, her hips spasming against his. Her eyes were clenched tight, her mouth had fallen open, shaky whimpers falling from her lips as she rode out the burning tension, shuddering, too much, but at the same time, not enough.

She had a feeling that with Levi, she'd never get enough of him, she'd never tire of him, and she only hoped he'd never tire of her. Gasping for air, her eyes fluttered open as she felt him pull out of her, already missing the feel of him inside of her, suddenly feeling empty, wondering how she'd ever lived this way. But before he could grip himself in his hand, she reached down, wanting to help him finish, not wanting him to have to do all the work.

As her own waves finally slowed, she gripped him, swallowing thickly at the feel of his throbbing cock soaked in a combination of their juices, somehow adding new arousal to her system. She could feel him pulsing, could see the weeping tip signaling he was close, could feel the way it twitched almost desperately in her hand, practically begging for release and it was unlike anything she could have ever expected. Glancing up at his face, her eyes widened, a thrilling jolt hitting her when she saw the tension on it, jaw clenched tight, brows furrowed, his blue eyes searing into hers, almost as if he were silently begging her to either do something or let him take over.

From the corner of her eyes, she could see his fists clenching in the sheets on either side of her head. She'd never seen him like this, as if near desperation, not even with all the times she'd teased and denied him. It was as if he'd been completely focused on her needs, ignoring his own, and he was now hanging on by a thread, needing the slightest push to send him over the edge.

Did I do this to him?

Without even trying?

The thought was jarring.

Thrilling.

Exhilarating.

Using everything she'd learned about what he liked, she set a steady pace, keeping her grip firm, thumb swirling across the tip every so often, no interest in teasing him this time, fully determined to bring him as much bliss as he'd brought her. She watched his face, eyes clenched tight, as his hips involuntarily bucked into her hand, meeting her strokes, low, strangled grunts falling through his clenched teeth, and that same thrill shot through her, at the thought that she was doing this to him, that she was making him feel as good as he'd made her feel.

His head dropped down into her neck, hands clutching even tighter in the sheets around her head. A jolt of heat rippled across her skin when her name fell from his lips on a drawn-out groan as she felt him twitch in her hand as he came. Curious, she looked down at his cock, and she didn't know how, but the sight of his release splashing onto the bare skin of her stomach was more arousing than she ever thought it would be, her skin burning hot.

She watched the tension leave his body as he came down from his high. He let himself lay down next to her, taking a minute to catch his breath before reaching onto the floor to grab his shirt, rolling onto his side, gently wiping his release from her stomach, before tossing the shirt back onto the floor.

His eyes came up to hers and the expression on his face was one she'd never seen before. A mix of affection and sleepy pleasure filled his eyes, that had her smiling shyly at him, lip caught between her teeth. Drawing her in close, he brushed his lips across hers, and she let him deepen it, enjoying the feel, her own hands moving up to his chest, sliding around so that her arms were wrapped around his neck.

He pulled back, resting his forehead on hers. "Are you alright?"

"I've never been better," she murmured, smiling shyly up at him.

She was thrown back to that conversation with her friends, when they'd talked about how terrible their first times had been, and her love for him washed over her, mixing in with everything else inside her, knowing that he had done everything he could to make this as memorable, painless, and pleasurable as possible for her.

She brought a hand up to his that lay on her cheek, stroking at the dips. "Thank you, Levi."

His eyes widened. "For what?"

"A while back, my friends told me how their first times were awful, but you made mine perfect, special, more than I could have ever dreamed of."

His face softened to that affectionate look she'd seen earlier, eyes full of warmth that had her heart thrumming again. He moved his hand from his face so that his fingers could trail along the smooth skin of her arm, taking her hand in his, linking their fingers, and bringing it up so he could brush his lips across the skin.

"You don't have to thank me for that," he murmured.

The feel of his lips brushing across her hand sent light tingles up her arm, and she couldn't stop the shiver. "I know, but I'm going to anyways."

He captured her lips with his again, slowly sinking into it, and that gentle fog came into her mind, erasing everything around her, her senses only registering Levi, his smell, his taste, the feel of his hand holding hers. When he pulled back, she couldn't stop the shy giggle that escaped her, still not understanding why she reacted like this when he kissed her a certain way, but the amusement in his eyes from her reaction made her hope she never stopped.

She rolled onto her back, keeping her hand in his as it rested underneath her breast, reveling in the hum as she stretched, a breathy sigh escaping her, the remnants of pleasure and desire keeping her from feeling any need for modesty as she let her other arm rest back behind her head, relishing in the gentle hum still gliding under her skin. Turning her head to meet his eyes, she loved the feel of him looking down at her from where he'd propped himself up on his elbow, head resting in his hand, loved the sight of the remnants of desire still in his eyes, loved that he desired her, loving that he wanted her, cared for her, that she mattered to him.

I didn't know it could be like that.

I read it in the books, the romance ones I read, but they always told me that sort of thing didn't happen in real life.

And even still, reading it, and experiencing it yourself are two completely different things.

Overcome by emotion, she rolled back over, pushing him onto his back, his breath huffing out at the sudden act. She cupped his face in her hands, his coming up to rest on her waist, searing into her as she pressed her lips onto his, everything she felt pouring from her into him, needing him to understand how much she loved him, even if she was still unable to say the words. Lifting her head, a flush crept up her neck, lips curling into a shy smile as she looked down at him, his eyes warm as they met hers.

"Hi."

Humor filled his eyes at her shy greeting, intrigued at how bashful she could be now that he knew the teasing vixen she hid deep within her, wanting to find ways to bring her out, enjoying the way only he got to see that side of her. The same way she enjoyed being the only one who saw the affectionate side of him.

"Hi."

The teasing note in his voice had the red in her face deepening, not understanding how she could still feel so shy despite everything they'd already done.

He's literally seen more of you than you've seen of yourself.

You've seen each other in the most vulnerable ways possible.

How are you still so bashful and shy?

Shoving aside the embarrassment, she said the first thing that came to mind. "I have a question."

She let her arms rest across his chest, keeping herself propped up so that she could look down at him.

"What?" His fingers traced light patterns along her waist, lighting small fires on her bare skin, his other arm coming up to rest under his head.

"If someone had told you, back when we first met, that you would eventually want to be with me, what would your reaction have been?"

He smirked up at her. "I probably would have called them an idiot for suggesting something so insanely impossible."

She giggled, not the least bit offended. "I guess you would have been wrong."

"It would have been the one thing I'd be okay with being wrong about," he murmured.

Her eyes filled at his words, and she buried her face in his neck, arms wrapping around him, overjoyed when his held her close.

Mine.

Every point of contact between them was filling her with joy, never wanting to let go.

Her chest pressing against his, the heat of it warming her, completely at ease with her bare chest against his.

His hands on her back, holding her close, as if he never wanted to let her go, the way she never wanted to let go of him.

His cheek pressed against hers, as if he needed the contact with her as much as she needed the contact with him.

That smell that was so inexplicably Levi, warm, masculine, the one that always managed to soothe her, flooded her senses.

She relished in how far she'd come, and was still amazed, overjoyed, at the risk she'd finally taken having paid off. That look on his face earlier came to mind, and she could sob with joy at the knowledge of how much he cared for her. It didn't matter to her whether or not he loved her. Knowing he cared deeply for her was more than enough to satisfy her, more than she could have ever hoped for.

Rising from the bed, he maneuvered her so that she was cradled against his chest as he walked them to the bathroom. He stepped into the tub, turning the water on, setting her gently onto her feet, and holding her steady when her knees buckled.

She flushed. "I...I wasn't expecting that to happen."

He shrugged, though she caught the almost smug amusement in his eyes. "It happens sometimes."

She held his gaze, a smile growing on her face. Affection and love filled her and she couldn't resist, she threw her arms around him loving the way his came around her without hesitation, relishing in the fact that he wanted her, that he still wanted her, that she had something she thought she'd never have.

Overwhelmed with emotion, she was unable to hold back her words. "Levi. I...I truly thought I'd never have this. They...they told me no one would ever want me like this, that the only way a man would bother with someone as plain as me would be through them."

He pulled back, eyes serious as they held hers, hating what those people had done to her. "You're not plain, the furthest thing from it."

The flush in her face deepened at his words, a sheepish look passing across her face. "I...I know, I know that, or, I'm learning. You make me feel beautiful. Do you know what that's like? To be told you're anything but beautiful, to be told you're plain, only to have a sweet, grouchy ass grump make you feel as if you're the most beautiful person alive."

He avoided her gaze for a second, face flushing ever so slightly before he spoke. "You are."

That same shy smile came to her face, a warmth washing through her at his words, even if he'd felt awkward saying them, the knowledge that he saw her that way had her heart fluttering.

She didn't need pretty words, not with him. She'd been telling the truth when she told him he made her feel beautiful. But to hear him confirm it, filled her with a joy she'd never experienced. Shyness gone for the moment, she leaned in, grazing her lips across his, tilting her head, exploring, loving the way he responded, as if he were perfectly happy doing nothing but kiss her.

The steam from the water was creating a different atmosphere, though the heat from it didn't even compare to the heat that rushed through her whenever Levi touched her, kissed her, looked at her.

When she pulled away, she gasped in surprise, eyes widening when she felt his now hard length pressing against her leg. She saw the tinge of pink on his cheeks deepen as he cleared his throat, avoiding her gaze once again.

"You're naked, pressed up against me, kissing me, it's bound to happen. Don't act so surprised."

She let her head tilt back under the spray, letting it wash over her. "It's not that, it's...it's knowing that I have an effect on you, the way you do on me. I spent far too long thinking I had no effect on you, and to find out I do...it's thrilling."

Bringing her head back up, water slid down her hair, face, body, and she watched as Levi swallowed thickly, no way of knowing how beautiful he thought she looked with her eyes bright and affectionate, skin glowing and damp, the water droplets giving her an ethereal look.

It had him wondering what he'd done to deserve her, though he'd gladly do anything to prove to her he did, for as long as she'd let him. Something about the moment removed some of his filter, making it easier to admit things he normally struggled with.

"You do, for a long time now."

She brightened at his words, relieved it hadn't been just her. "Really? How long?"

When he didn't say anything a thought occurred to her, eyes widening in realization. "You've wanted me since we met? Maybe not as intense, and not everything you want with me now, but you wanted me didn't you?"

His silence and the way he avoided her gaze told her everything she needed to know.

She threw her head back and laughed at the irony, remembering how he'd been at the beginning. "Oh, I bet you hated that. Wanting something like this with someone you didn't even trust."

He shot her an amused look, lips twitching. "It definitely wasn't appealing at the time. You were an annoying, stubborn, pain in the ass."

She giggled. "Now I'm just a stubborn pain in the ass that your grouchy ass enjoys being with."

His only response was to draw her back in, meeting her lips with his, and the slow, almost lazy way he kissed her had her head spinning.

She pulled back, that teasing, sultry vixen revealing herself, sending him a sly grin, voice dropping to a seductive whisper as she looked at him from underneath her lashes. "Maybe I should help you out, Captain."

Reaching down, she grabbed his half-hard length, lightly stroking him, his surprised inhale and the way his eyes widened at her sudden boldness fueling her, encouraging her. She brought her lips to his ear, voice a sweet, playful purr as she felt his cock harden further with each stroke of her hand, each swipe of her thumb across the tip, his low groans sending heat rippling across her.

"Tell me, Captain, how do you want me? Do you want my hands? My mouth?"

Leaning back, and could see the command in his eyes, knew what he wanted, but she wanted to push him further. She pressed her lips to his cheek, her hand growing bolder as it traveled further down, cupping him, squeezing him gently, his strangled grunt next to her ear sending a shiver down her spine. Trailing her lips along his neck as she spoke, teasing him, always looking for ways to tease.

"Come on, Captain," she purred, "I'm not a mind reader. Tell me what to do. Tell me what you want. Give your loyal and faithful subordinate an order."

Her hand moved back up, wrapping around his cock and giving it a gentle squeeze, a pleased hum falling through her lips when his heated groan hit her ears.

"Get on your knees," he commanded, though the strain in his voice gave away his need and sent a shiver up her spine.

"Anything for my Captain," she cooed.

Lowering herself in front of him, taking him in her hand again, using everything she'd learned about him once again, setting a steady pace, easing into it. She glanced up, meeting his piercing eyes with hers, leaning forward and flicking at the sensitive spot she'd found with her tongue, rewarding her with a hiss through his clenched teeth. Without any hesitation, she leaned in, and enveloped his tip in her mouth, slowly working to take as much of him as she could, his strangled groan filling the air at the warmth enveloping him. She used her hand to cover the rest, the way he'd shown her.

She began working his length, timing the strokes of her hand with the bob of her head, no interest in teasing him tonight, only wanting to bring him even more bliss, his muted grunts fueling her desire to please her Captain. His hand had come up to her head, fingers threading gently in her hair, and she could feel his cock twitching in her mouth every so often, relishing in the taste of him, pure joy coursing through her that she was able to do this with him.

Eventually, she wanted to know what it would be like to take him completely in her mouth, but knew that would take time and practice. And she was more than happy to do that if it meant bringing him the same glorious pleasure he gave her. Glancing up, she could see his head had fallen back, lips parted, heated, husky groans falling from him. She let her tongue swirl around him as she moved, and it earned her a strained grunt, sending heat rushing through her.

She worked to drive him over the edge, and his hips would involuntarily buck, pushing his length further into her mouth, though she could tell he was doing his best to keep that from happening, not wanting to hurt her. The irony was, was that she didn't want him to do that. She wanted him to lose control, and she made it a goal for herself to eventually be able to make him lose control, to bring back that lustful look that had made her feel powerful, kindling a matching lust within her.

His strained voice filled the air, warning her that he was close, and made to pull from her mouth, the way he had the last few times she'd done this, but this time, she was determined. Her free hand came up to his hip, holding him place, and his head shot forward to look down at her, eyes boring into hers, the tension in his face thrilling her, the way his jaw had clenched, the way his brow furrowed, she could even feel the tension in his hand, though she could tell he fought to keep his grip light.

She could see the confusion hidden in the desire and pleasure in his eyes, and she gave his length a final suck and a flick of her tongue. His eyes clenched tight, a drawn-out groan pouring from him through clenched teeth as his release filled her mouth. Determined, she worked to swallow every last drop, intrigued by the taste, wanting to experience everything with him, always eager to try, always willing to learn. His constant patience with her had encouraged her more than she'd ever expected, all his words and promises he'd given her had helped her become more comfortable and confident in their relationship.

It would take time for her to become comfortable with the simple acts of affection, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to get to that point. She loved seeing that amused, teasing light come to his eyes whenever she had to take a breath just to brush the simplest of kisses across his lips.

When she felt the tension leave him, she pulled off him, something spurring her to lean in and place a sweet kiss on his tip, before rising to her feet, a shy smile forming on her face as the sultry vixen-like side of herself faded away, going back into hiding.

He gently pushed her up against the shower wall, stroking fingers down the side of her face, his eyes full of affection, and she could tell he wanted to tell her she didn't have to do that, but she could also tell he was remembering her words to him, that she was only doing what she wanted to do. His thumb brushed gently across her lips, wiping off a stray drop of his release from them. Before he could move his hand under the shower spray, something spurred her to grab his wrist, taking his thumb into her mouth, swirling her tongue around it, wiping it clean. When her eyes met his, the molten lust in them was enough to have desire curling in her stomach, her own core throbbing once more.

He shook his head in amusement, intrigued at how open and willing she was to try anything. "Have I told you that you're amazing?"

She giggled. "Maybe once or twice."

He brushed his lips across hers before guiding her under the shower spray, hands gentle as he cleaned her, mindful of bruises that were spread across her body from constant use of their gear.

Her eyes closed as she was thrown back to that night after Ethel had died, the way he'd cared for her then, just as he was now, though the reminder brought no pain, only peace at the way he'd been there for her. This moment was another one where she knew that, if she hadn't already been in love with him, she would have fallen hard, just from the simple fact that she got to see this sweet, caring, affectionate side of him that had been locked away tight, hidden, protected from the outside world.

'If you're anything like me, you'll have found yourself with a man who has a tendency to be gruff and difficult to read, but with a sweetness hidden deep inside that's just waiting for someone like you or like me to pull out.'

You couldn't be more right mama. This man in front of me, is the sweetest, kindest man I could ever know.

Except, the difference between that moment, and this moment, was that in this moment, he was occasionally brushing his lips across the bruises on her body that were within reach, as if he wished to wipe the marks from her, and the feathery touches had tingles following in their wake. A content sigh left her at the feel of his roughened palms gliding gently across her, now able to enjoy the feel of him washing her, whereas that night, she'd been too grief stricken to even notice.

Her eyes fluttered open to meet his, an affectionate look filling her face as she took the soap from him so that she could wash him, never for a second letting him do all the work. She switched their positions, guiding him under the spray. She kept her hands just as gentle and light, relishing in the feel that she got to see him this way, got to see his taut, lean frame, and a rush of joy flooded her at the sound of his own content sigh, as if her touches brought him peace the way his did to her. When he turned so she could wash his back, she gasped when she saw the scratches, hand coming up to brush across them.

She gaped at the claw marks that had clearly come from her nails. "I'm so sorry, Levi. I—"

He chuckled at her reaction, and she could see his shoulders shake lightly with it. "Relax, just means I was doing a good job. You're more enthusiastic than I expected."

Unsure of what to say, she awkwardly cleared her throat, face flushing at the amusement in his voice, at the reminder of just how enthusiastic she'd been, of what he'd made her feel, stunned that she'd done this to him, and she could practically hear the smirk. Despite the slight embarrassment, something spurred her to lean in and press her lips against the red lines on his back from where she'd clawed at him, an affectionate smile crossing her face at the content sigh that escaped him at the featherlight touches. She kept her hands gentle as she spread the soap along his body, mindful of the scratches, not wanting to hurt him, and she hoped he felt the same things she did when he touched her.

When she'd finished, he turned back to face her, and she brought her hands to his face, tilting his head back so she could wash his hair, loving this new experience, never wanting it to end. She watched as his eyes fluttered close at the feel of her hands kneading into his scalp as she washed the silky strands, an affectionate smile filling her face at the peaceful look on his face, not realizing he hadn't had a soft, feminine hand wash his hair since his mother had died.

She didn't know much about his past, only that he'd been with one other woman. She didn't know that the woman he'd been with had been nothing like her, never gave him gentle touches, tender caresses that he'd never realized he'd craved until he'd met Isa.

Now he couldn't get enough of them.

He brought his head up, and she had to swallow at the sight of the water trailing down his face and body, heat rippling across her skin, tempted to lap at the droplets covering him, mouth watering at the thought.

Will I always feel this way at just the sight of him?

I hope so. I never want to lose these feelings, these sensations.

He switched their positions again, this time so he could wash her hair, her pleased, purring hum filled the air at the feel of his fingers gently massaging her scalp as he rinsed out the suds, reminded of how they'd felt roaming her body, inside her, the skill of them, the way they could drive her to peaks more intense than she could ever experience on her own. Her eyes fluttered closed at the feel, allowing her senses to heighten and enjoy his touch. Something about keeping her eyes closed made everything else feel more vivid.

She could feel the steam from the shower curling around them, the hushed drum of the water landing on her, his nails as his fingers gently massaged her scalp as he washed her hair, even the smell of him was stronger, the scent of his soap and shampoo filling the air. She felt featherlight touches across her forehead, her cheeks, recognizing them as his lips brushing across her face, her own curling into content smile at the affectionate gestures sending gentle warmth through her. A sigh escaped her when he tilted her face back up and brought his lips to hers, teasing, brushing across them lightly. Her eyes fluttered open when he pulled back, a shy smile filling her face.

Reaching behind her, he switched off the water and stepped out of the tub, holding his hand out to help her as she did the same. Grabbing a towel, he tossed her one, and they gently dried each other off. She was thrown back once again, to that night, and the gentle way he'd taken care of her, relishing in the feel of being able to do the same with him, even if the intimacy of it had nerves filling her stomach, not fully used to these new parts of their relationship.

Despite the fluttering butterflies in her stomach, she was unable to resist, and she brought her hand to his face, thumb stroking lightly, eyes full of affection and warmth for him as she rose up to brush her lips across his cheek. They strolled back out to the bedroom, and she was stunned to see the drops of blood on the sheets, completely having forgotten that some women bled after their first time.

Her face flushed as she stammered. "I...I'm sorry."

"Relax, it's fine. No big deal."

He made his way over to his trunk, and the sight of him had her body humming again, remembering how it had felt over her, pressing her into the mattress. The red in her face deepened, unable to keep her eyes from moving over him as he pulled out some clothes. She was thrown back to that day when she'd drawn him that first time, and she'd wondered what he looked like.

Now she knew.

She forced her gaze to his face when he came back to her, though the teasing light in his eyes told her she hadn't been fast enough to look away, and she awkwardly cleared her throat, avoiding his gaze. Pulling one of his shirts over her head, he handed her a pair of his boxers, before getting dressed himself. She realized that he didn't want her to have to leave to go change, and the thought had a warmth flowing through her, further proving to her that he wanted to be with her as much as she did with him.

She watched as he made quick work of switching out the sheets, before taking her into his arms so he could set her gently back on the bed, laying down next to her, drawing her close. And that's when it dawned on her and, despite the fatigue that was beginning to set in, she couldn't stop the giggles that fell from her, face burying into his chest as her shoulders shook.

"What?" She could hear the amusement in his voice.

"It's just...Nifa was right."

"Right about what?"

She bit her lip as she tried to contain the laughter, peering up at him. "She...she said we were basically a couple without the sex."

She watched as his eyebrows furrowed, clearly thinking back to everything they'd been through, how they'd been with each other even before they'd become a couple.

He met her eyes, affection and humor in them, head shaking in amusement as his hand brushed through her hair. Leaning down, he pressed his lips to her temple.

"Maybe she was right," he murmured.

Heart hitching at the soft kiss, she let herself lean up to brush her lips across his once again, loving the routine of it, too sleepy and satisfied to be nervous.

Settling back down, she flipped over so that she was facing away from him, eyes drooping as she yawned. "The only difference between then, and now, is that we know it."

A content hum fell from her when he drew her close, his body keeping her warm, and she looked forward to the heat of it in the coming weeks, when the temperature would begin to drop at night. In the past, she'd often had trouble keeping warm at night during the winter months.

Now, she wouldn't have to worry about it.

She let her hand rest on his that lay on her stomach, her other hand coming up to the one in front of her face, linking their fingers together, bringing it up so she could brush her lips across the back of his. She couldn't stop the content sigh that escaped her when he brought their linked hands to rest at her shoulder, effectively wrapping her up in his arms, making her feel safe as always.

Drowsiness was taking over, slurring her words as she spoke. "It may have taken us a while to get here, Levi, for us to be together, but I wouldn't change a single second of it."

His lips grazed across the nape of her neck, tingles rushing across her skin at the feel, as sleep pulled her in, his soft voice the last thing she remembered before she drifted off.

"Me either, Isa. Not one second."

A/N: I feel like now is as good a time as ever to admit my original plot for these two. I had originally planned for this to be more enemies to friends to lovers, and had planned for it to take a long time to reach the friends stage. They weren't supposed to get together until around the Year 848, but as I was writing, that plan was completely shot to hell. The problem was, was that I don't really see Levi's character as this harsh, cold, unfeeling person, which would have been needed for the enemies part of the fic I had planned, plus, Isa's character just morphed into this affectionate, bubbly ray of sunshine that was more understanding of Levi than I originally planned. They both surprised me so much throughout this.

I have no regrets with the path their relationship took. I think it's far more fitting than what I had planned, and I'm so excited to see how they work through their relationship through the angst and fluff I still have planned.

I hope their first time together was worth the 31 chapters of buildup, and I hope I'm still doing a good job writing the smut parts. It's really hard to judge your own smut writing, or at least, it is for me, and I've been so nervous with each chapter I've posted that has smut in it haha :P

Thanks for reading! :) Let me know what you thought, if you want. :)