She was floating, more relaxed than she'd ever felt. Not wanting to wake up just yet, she kept her eyes closed, enjoying the heightened senses that came with the act.
The gentle rays of the morning sun were filtering through the window, sending a warmth flowing under her skin.
Every point of contact was sending a different warmth through her, one more calming than the sun's rays.
His arms around her holding her close. Sometime during the night, she had flipped over, and her head now lay against his shoulder. She could feel the muffled thump of his heart under her hand that lay on his chest.
Her own chest was pressed against his side, the heat of it searing into her, and she relished at how close he held her at night, as if he didn't want to let her go, not even in sleep.
Sometime during the night, their legs had tangled together, which was a first, though another thrilling first. She loved how much he seemed to enjoy holding her, how much he seemed to enjoy being held.
She always thought back to that very first hug, back beside Isabel and Furlan's grave, how awkward he'd been, how awkward he must have felt, slowly becoming comfortable with affection over the months.
Wanting to see him, her eyes fluttered open, head tilting up against him, and her heart swelled at the sight of his sleeping face. She loved how peaceful he looked, completely relaxed, completely at ease.
This was only the second time she'd ever woken before him while he was beside her in bed, and the first time since they'd become a couple.
His eyes were closed, and she could feel his deep breaths fluttering across her hair.
She remembered that very first night, that night she'd taken him and his two friends to watch the sunset, and he hadn't trusted her enough to sleep. She was certain he hadn't slept that night so long ago, hadn't trusted her not to try to hurt him or his friends.
And now, here she was, lying next to him, having earned his trust, his affection, and it filled her with joy, with love, excitement. Everything inside her warmed, sending a gentle, glowing sensation across her.
The memory of the night before came back to her, how intent he'd been on making her first time special, ignoring his own needs.
The feel of his mouth, his hands roaming freely along her body, finally able to touch where he wanted, allowing her to simply enjoy being touched by him instead of having to direct him.
She'd expected more pain. The way her friends had described their first times, they'd acted as if it had been painful, but she'd felt nothing more than a pinch, a little burn, just her body adjusting to the feel.
She couldn't wait for the chance, for more confidence to do the same and set her own needs aside and just take care of him, not because she felt she had to, or she owed him, but because she wanted to.
Before Levi, before they'd become close, she'd struggled with affection, with showing people she cared. She couldn't pinpoint exactly when she started being so affectionate with him.
They'd been close friends for a long time, but somewhere along the line, their friendship, the way they had acted with each other had shifted to something in between a friendship and a relationship. She wasn't sure when it had happened.
She thought maybe it had been that night of her birthday, when she'd kissed him, but she wasn't sure.
It could have even been that night when he'd almost kissed her. She remembered how close it had been to happening, lips practically touching, and the Hange had burst in, breaking the moment.
She wondered where they'd be if that hadn't happened, if he'd kissed her. She meant what she'd told him the night before. She wouldn't change a single thing about the journey they'd taken. Something about it made what they had now feel even more special.
At some point, their relationship with each other had morphed, evolving the more time they spent together, to the point where it had blossomed into one where she was affectionate, stroking his cheek, his hand, his hair, with him eventually doing the same.
She was amazed at how she didn't realize the truth of Nifa's words that night at the tavern.
She didn't want to wake him up, but she couldn't resist reaching her hand up to stroke across his face, his eyebrows, brushing gently through his silky hair. A small, affectionate smile crossed her face when she remembered the last time she'd done this in this same situation.
Now she could do it whenever she wanted.
Her hand came to lay at the side of his face, thumb brushing across his cheek.
A light, content sigh escaped his lips at the featherlight touches as he drew her closer, brushing his lips across her forehead, and her heart stuttered at the feel.
She couldn't stop the shy smile when his eyes slowly opened, still hazy with sleep, slowly warming with affection as he met her gaze.
A sheepish look crossed her face, knowing how hard it was for him to sleep, she just hadn't been able to resist. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."
The corner of his lips quirked up in amusement. "It's fine, I was probably going to wake up soon anyways."
Unsure of what else to say, she let her head tilt back down, her hand moving from his face to run along the length of his arm, taking his hand in her own, pressing their palms together, lining up their fingers.
She could feel the strength in his hands, in his fingers, the callouses in them. She'd seen what they were capable of, back in the Underground against the man who tried to blackmail him.
Yet they'd been gentle, sweet, just like him, the night before as they touched her, drove her to peak multiple times.
She loved how gentle and sweet his hands could be, but she still wanted to know what it was like when he was rougher, when passion and desire consumed them both.
She wanted to know what it was like, what all of it was like. She wanted to experience the lust she'd seen in his eyes. It had been so molten, so hot, as if he craved her, and she wanted that. All of it.
She just wasn't sure how to ask. She knew he worried that he'd do something that would accidentally hurt her or would make her afraid of him.
She had a feeling that one of the things about her that had driven him to come up to the roof that very first time, was simply the fact that she never looked at him in fear.
There were people who were terrified of him. She'd seen it when they were traveling to an expedition, or a mission, or just walking around in the districts.
She'd even seen it in the other Scouts, especially the newer recruits, the way they practically trembled in fear when around him.
Some people were afraid of the idea of him. They'd heard his background, the things he'd done before coming to the surface, and made assumptions of him, not realizing what life was like down there.
She didn't remember much from her childhood, and she thought it was like Levi had said, that her parents had shielded her from the majority of life down there.
But in those few days she'd spent with him in the Underground, hunting for her mother's journal, she'd seen what living there could make people do.
She still shivered at the thought that she would have killed that doctor, with no regrets. She knew it would have haunted her, but if it meant protecting Levi, keeping him safe, she would have done it, would still do it.
If someone were threatening him, and there was no other choice, she would kill, no hesitation.
Not wanting the memory of what had happened there ruin her mood, she let her thoughts shift to other things, and her mind moved to all their times together.
She thought about how it had always been her initiating, starting things, letting him know what she wanted him to do. She was beyond grateful for his help, she would never have gotten this far without him, but she didn't want to always be the one letting him know when she wanted to do…things.
It still boggled her mind that she could feel awkward simply thinking the word sex, considering what they'd done the night before, considering everything they'd already done. She still didn't understand how she was so bashful about these things.
She thought about it, had her own fantasies, things she wanted to try with him, but something about the word itself had her fighting back a flush.
Despite her shyness, she wanted him to be able to do the same, to start…things, wanting them to have a normal relationship, whatever they defined that to be. And the way she wanted to define it, was both of them initiating.
He linked their fingers together, bringing their hands to rest against his chest. "I can practically hear you thinking, what is it?"
A small laugh escaped her. "It amazes me that you're able to tell."
"What's on your mind?"
She took a breath, needing to let him know what she wanted next. "It's just…I know you've been letting me…initiate things…"
Well that's one way of putting it.
"…because you don't want to push me, but I wanted to tell you that you can…initiate too, or at least try to…if you want. You don't have to wait around for me, all the time."
His hand paused mid stroke in her hair. "Are you sure?"
"I am. I…I don't want it to always have to be me."
She wanted a break from having to be the one to make the first move. She appreciated his patience with her, but she wanted him to be able to call the shots more, when he wanted, didn't want it to always be her.
She felt him brush his lips across the top of her head. "Whatever you want, Isa."
A relieved breath left her at the thought of him initiating, and it sent excitement rippling through her, eager to be caught off guard, eager for the spontaneity she so desperately craved with him. She snuggled closer to him, wanting to enjoy a few more minutes of just being with him, beside him.
She remembered how, just a few months ago, she'd been desperately pining for him, and now she was here, exactly where she wanted to be.
She could easily fall back asleep, lying there next to him, his arm around her shoulders, the feel of his body next to her keeping her warm, his hand running through her hair, and she couldn't stop the content hum, eyes fluttering closed.
She wished it was their day off, that free day where they could do whatever they wanted, even if what they wanted was to never leave the bed. She would gladly spend the whole day in bed with him if she could, even if it meant just holding each other, though she wouldn't mind go round after round with him. After having a taste, she she wanted more, wanted it all, didn't think she'd ever be fully satisfied.
Sighing, she didn't want to get up, but needed to get ready for another day of training and a meeting with Erwin and the Squad Leaders and other second-in-commands. The upcoming expedition had everyone on edge, focused, pushing each other to be better so that everyone was fully prepared.
She tilted her head up, pressing a ginger kiss to his cheek. "I should probably go get ready for the day."
For a second, she thought his arms tightened ever so slightly around her, as if he didn't want to let her go, but it happened so fast, that she wondered if she'd imagined it.
Rising, she pulled her folded pants off the chair in his room, realizing he must have folded her clothes up sometime in the middle of the night, an affectionate smile filling her face at his need for everything to be tidy. Dressing quickly, his shirt hung down past her hips, reminding her that, despite his size, he was still slightly taller than her, still somewhat larger than her.
She felt him come up behind her, arms wrapping around her waist as he grazed his lips across her neck. Her own hands came up to rest on his, enjoying the feel of him holding her from behind, his head resting on her shoulder. Her heart swelled at the thought that he didn't want her to go, any more than she wanted to go. But they both had responsibilities, the looming expedition on the back of both their minds.
Besides, she knew that the sooner the day was over, the sooner she could be back with him, and they could spend the night doing whatever they wanted. She turned her head so she could meet his eyes, her lip caught in her teeth as she smiled at him.
"I'll see you later today, in Erwin's meeting, and then after."
He pressed his lips to her temple, his way of saying the same, before he let her go.
Making her way out of his office, she glanced over his shoulder to see him watching her, hands in his pockets, breath hitching at the content look on his face. She offered him a small wave, before making her way to her room to prepare for the day, eager for it to be over so she could be back with him, eager for more.
Training for the day went without a hitch. Hange had her squad run through drills, working them just as hard as any other Squad Leader, making sure that they were all prepared for the upcoming expedition. Isa hated to admit it, but Mark and Anna were impressive with the way they maneuvered with ODM gear. She just didn't understand what their issue with her was.
Uma had had a reason for her hatred towards Isa. Derek had just been deranged. But she had yet to figure out why they were always so antagonistic with her, so hateful, spiteful. She honestly didn't care as long as they could work together as a team outside the walls. She had more than enough people to satisfy her. She had Levi, she had Hange, and she had Nifa and Nanaba.
Thankfully, there were no issues from them, and they managed to work together seamlessly, no matter the pairing.
If she got the occasional glare from the two, she didn't care.
After training, she spent some time with Hange working on ways to convince Erwin to let the two of them attempt to capture a titan. He had yet to budge on any of their proposals.
Hange was hopeful that the most recent proposal the two had given him would convince him. In Erwin's office, Isa listened as he went over the goal of the upcoming expedition. The Scouts needed an additional supply base in another section in Wall Maria as they slowly worked to regain the lost territory, a little further out than the one they currently had. If they had any hopes of increasing their travel distance outside the walls, they needed bases to rely on to replenish supplies should the wagons get destroyed.
This sort of expedition was more difficult, seeing as the ultimate goal would be to protect the wagons at the center of the formation, which would be carrying their supplies. The goods they would be carrying consisted of blades, spare fuel, spare gear. They wouldn't be able to take food with them, no way to keep it from spoiling. Erwin also wanted to make sure that everyone was up to speed on the long-range formation, having made some adjustments in the system, fine-tuning it based on what had worked and hadn't worked in the past.
When Isa and Hange tried to bring up their proposal for capturing a titan, they received the same dead-end. Erwin wanted the focus to be on setting up a supply base, and found the idea of capturing a titan too risky. Isa personally thought it was rather ironic that the man who was constantly taking gambles actually had the ability to think something was risky.
Leaving Erwin's office with Levi, Hange stayed behind, still hopeful that she could persuade Erwin to change his mind. As she strolled through the halls with Levi, she couldn't help but think that perhaps there would be no convincing him. Following Levi into his office, she settled herself onto his couch.
Glancing up, she saw he was still standing by the door. She could tell by the way his brows were knit in concentration that he was considering something. When his eyes met hers, she realized he was thinking about her words from that morning, how she wanted him to initiate, and that he was deciding if he should. Now it was her turn to wait patiently for him to make a decision, the way he'd done with her, knowing he was debating on whether or not it was too soon for him to make the first move.
She could tell he'd made his decision when he strode over to where she sat and held out his hand.
When she set her hand in his, he pulled her gently to her feet.
His hands came up to lay at her waist, drawing her closer as his eyes held hers locked in place. "Hi."
She wrapped her arms loosely around his neck, and she couldn't stop the shy, amused smile that came to her face at his greeting, intrigued with the feel of being on the other side. "Hi."
As she looked up at him, her heart thrummed with excitement at not having to make the first move anymore. She was caught in his gaze, and she was thrown back to all the times she'd stared into his eyes, just as she was now, helpless to look away, believing that only she felt anything more than just friendship. Now she could look at him whenever she wanted, even with her shyness that sometimes took over, knowing he felt the same as her.
She thought his eyes looked impossibly blue, and she'd almost forgotten that they'd looked more gray when they'd first met, and she wondered if it was her imagination, her wishful thinking, or just the way she felt about him that made it seem as if his eyes had turned so blue, that those flecks of blue that had enchanted her all those months ago had deepened, overtaking the gray.
Her heart flipped when she saw the answering, soft smile on his face, the warmth in his eyes, and she still sometimes had trouble believing that the things she'd done had earned her his trust, his affection.
When he leaned in closer, she was reminded of that night when he'd been promoted to Captain, how she'd agonized whether or not she'd imagined the almost kiss.
The agonizing, the fear, the anxiety that he didn't want as she wanted was no more, as she leaned in closer, pulled in by some unknown force that always filled her with a desire to be near him.
His lips met hers, brushing across them, bringing that gentle fog as he deepened it. Once again, she was filled with that feeling that no one else existed but the two of them, and she almost wished for it to be true. She loved her other friends with every fiber of her being, but there was something about being around Levi, being with him, even when they had just been friends, that put her at ease, brought her a feeling of calm, of peace, that she wasn't able to get from anyone else. She was only aware of every point of contact between the two of them.
His chest pressed against hers, and she could feel the faint thump of his heart, and was intrigued when she could feel it slowly pick up the pace.
His hands on her waist, trailing down to tease the skin under the hem of her shirt, sending a shiver up her spine when his fingers brushed across a sensitive spot on her lower back.
His legs pressed against hers, bodies now flush against each other.
She wasn't sure how, but at some point, their kiss turned, heated, shifting from sweet, gentle warmth, to a fire that threatened to burn, to consume them both. She felt his hands move down to cup her, lifting her so that she could wrap her legs around his waist. She didn't even feel him move, didn't even register him carrying her to his bedroom. All she felt were his lips on hers, drugging her, his hands on her, and she was eager for more. Breaking the kiss, she ripped her shirt off, eager for his hands and mouth on her bare skin, relishing in the feel of near spontaneity.
He gently dropped her on his bed, moving to hover over her, pressing another searing kiss on her lips before moving along her jaw, down her neck, a light sigh falling from her as his lips trailed across her sensitive skin. She shivered at the searing heat from his fingers as they trailed up her sides, gently removing the bindings covering her chest, baring her to him.
Eager to see him again, she tugged his shirt up and over his head, flushing at the amusement that came in his eyes, mixing with the desire she could see in them. He leaned back in so he could brush his lips across the supple, sensitive skin of her chest. The answering pulls that came with the feel of his lips and tongue circling, teasing, kissing across her breasts and nipples had her legs shifting together, desperate for friction, eager for more.
She felt more than heard his breathless chuckle at her impatience, his quiet breaths puffing over her nipples, sending a shiver across her body, fueling her need for more. Without breaking away, he pulled the rest of her clothes off, baring her completely to him. She was surprised to find that she felt no nerves now, despite this only being the third time she was completely naked in front of him for this reason. All she felt was eagerness, excitement pulsing through her at the feel of being so close to the spontaneity she'd been craving with him.
His eyes pierced into hers as he traced his fingers up her thigh, her skin going aflame at the teasing touch. He leaned back over her, brushing his lips over her, deepening the kiss when her lips parted, swallowing her gasp when he easily slid two fingers inside her.
She moaned when she felt him move from her lips to graze his lips across her breasts, the combined feel of his mouth kissing, suckling, licking and his fingers pulsing inside her, brushing against that spot, fueling the ever-building tension. It started to build even more when his mouth latched onto her nipple, sucking, teasing it with his tongue, so close, back arching at the feel, a heated pull shooting down to her center to combine with his fingers pushing her up towards the edge. She didn't understand how he was able to take her up so fast. All she knew was that she never wanted that to change.
Just as the tension was about to burst, she felt his fingers pull out of her, the knot slowly fading as her eyes snapped open, and she saw the smirk on his face.
Oh shit.
"L-Levi?"
He leaned up to brush teasing kisses across her face, lips grazing down her neck, and she shivered when his tongue flicked against the sensitive spot.
"I believe I told you that at some point you'd pay for that, didn't I?" He hummed, the sound full of heated amusement, pleased that he'd caught her off guard.
Nodding, her eyes were wide, though they were bright with excitement.
A choked sound escaped her when he nipped lightly at her nipple, sending a sharp pull to her center. She met his eyes as he licked at the rigid peak, drawing a short moan from her, as much from the sight of his tongue running across her sensitive skin as from the answering arrow that fired to her core from it.
He smirked at her, enjoying the way she reacted to him, ready to give back some of the teasing he'd suffered from her, intrigued at how eager she looked. His voice took the slightest hint of authority as whispered in her ear, though it was affectionate and warm as ever.
"Good little subordinates don't tease their Captains."
Heat flashed in her eyes at his words, more arousal pooling between her legs.
He felt surprise hit him at the sight of her eyes darkening at his words. "We really need to do something about your insubordination."
Settling back between her legs, his fingers circled her clit at a fierce pace, a choked moan escaping her at the intense arrows piercing through her. She cried out when he leaned in to give the sensitive bundle of nerves a hard suck that threatened to throw her over the edge. Her desperate whimpers filled the air when he slid two fingers back inside her, curling them up so that he brushed against that spot with each pump, his tongue coming up to tease, circle, lick her clit.
Her hands were holding onto the headboard behind her, clenched so tight, her knuckles were turning white, eyes squeezed shut, lips parted, heavy, high pitched pants escaping her as he pushed her up towards her peak. Her hips were desperately trying to roll against his mouth, seeking more of the building tension, but his arm had wrapped around her leg, effectively holding her down, leaving her at his mercy.
Just when the tension was about to burst, when she thought that maybe he'd let her have release, he stopped. Her eyes fluttered open, and the flush across her body deepened at the heated amusement in his eyes, clearly enjoying teasing her.
His lips grazed across her stomach, voice a low rumble against her skin. "Has my little subordinate learned her lesson?"
His finger was making slow, wide circles around her clit, teasing it, teasing her, the touch keeping the tension there but not enough to push her over the edge.
"I don't know if I have, Captain." Her teeth clenched together on the word, a sharp breath hissing out when his tongue swiped up through her folds, stopping to press gently on her throbbing clit. "Wouldn't want me to think you're going easy on me, now would you?" Her voice was strained as he teased her.
The vibrations from his chuckle had her choking out a curse, back arching at the ripples moving through her.
He was intrigued by the way she egged him on, as if she wanted him to keep teasing her. "No, I guess I wouldn't want that."
He lowered his head back between her legs, using his tongue, lips, fingers, teeth to drive her to the edge, her desperate whimpers filling the air around him each time he denied her.
She lost track of how many times he brought her up, only to stop, not letting her take that leap, denying her release. Her body was covered in a glistening sheen at the effort. She begged, pleaded, desperate for relief, but he never relented, driving her closer and closer with his mouth and fingers, only to back away when the tension threatened to burst. The knot was tightening, and she was close, she could feel it. The slightest touch and she'd snap.
"L-Levi," she panted out, "I don't think I can hold back again."
Her teeth clenched when he blew a gentle puff of air on her over sensitized clit, a pained groan falling from her.
His heated chuckle sent a shiver down her spine. "You will. You don't come until I say you can," he commanded. "If you come before I say so, then we'll just have to start all over."
She whined when pulled his fingers out of her, surprising herself at the sound, and her eyes widened as she watched him dip them in his mouth, cleaning them off. She found it more arousing than she could have ever expected, the flush across her body deepening.
He shucked off the rest of his clothes, and her breath shuddered out of her as he slowly kissed and licked his way back up her body, teasing around her breasts, licking just around her nipples that were so tight it was almost painful, never actually touching them. Grasping himself in his hand, he slowly slid into her, his own groan mixing with her desperate moan at the tightness surrounding him. Gliding in and out of her, he kept his thrusts gentle to give her time to readjust to the feel, keeping a close eye on her for any signs of pain or discomfort, despite his desire to tease her.
Except she felt no pain. All she felt was the delicious feel of being stretched by him, of being filled by him, the friction threatening to push her to peak. Wrapping her arms around him, her fingers bit into his back at the feel of his chest brushing across her sensitive nipples, sending ripples of heat across her, driving her even closer to the edge.
She whimpered at the change in angle when he drew one of her legs up so that her knee was beside her chest and picked up the pace, thrusting firmer, faster, hitting those spots deep within her, the knot growing impossibly tighter, threatening to burst.
"L-Levi," she whined, breathless at the rising tension, "if you don't slow down I'm gonna—"
Her head fell back, a choked groan falling from her parted lips, back arching as the knot tightened almost painfully. Her breath panted out as she struggled to fight against the tension threatening to burst, nails digging in as she clutched at him, needing something to ground her before she exploded, but he was picking up the pace even more, and she was hanging on by a thread. She shrieked when his thumb came down between them to toy at her throbbing clit, brushing across it lightly, barely touching it, teasing it, and she could feel the thread threatening to break.
"Levi," she whimpered, "Captain, please, I'm begging you, I can't, I c-can't."
Her head shook back and forth on the pillow at the rising tension. She shivered, a choked moan falling from her when she felt him press his lips to the sensitive spot of her neck. Crying out again, the sound was strained when he made fiercer, firmer circles on her clit, and that coupled with the pace he was driving into her was almost too much, she was so close, so close, but she was desperately trying to hold back, despite the searing arrows piercing her core, threatening to shove her over the edge.
He latched his mouth onto her nipple, sucking hard before giving her a gentle command. "Come for me."
That was all it took, and the knot snapped, hot molten waves crashing over her as she screamed out his name, hips spasming against his, nails raking down his back, sure to leave more scratches. Her head flopped over to the side, the cool pillow contrasting the hot dampness of her skin, eyes clenching tight as the waves threatened to drown her.
She hadn't even come back down before she was yanked up and over again, his thumb still rubbing on the sensitive nub as he kept thrusting, his mouth still sucking her nipple, tongue flicking across it, a curse falling from her lips on a high-pitched squeal as the never-ending waves consumed her. Desperate whimpers fell from her, eyes squeezed tight, hands falling off him to clench tight on the sheets, her walls clenching tighter around him, drawing a strained groan from him that went unheard by her, so consumed by the burning tension her body was riding out.
She felt him slow his pace as he gently brought her back down before pulling out, wanting to give her a break, brushing teasing kisses across her face, down the side of her neck as she shuddered. Her tense body relaxed as the last pulsing ripples finally faded, slumping against the mattress, chest heaving as her breaths slowed, and she was floating, a satisfied, humming sigh escaping her.
Her eyes fluttered open to meet his, and despite the tension on his face, she saw the smug, amused look in his eyes, which had her body flushing even further, as she smiled shyly up at him, lip caught between her teeth.
His hand came up to stroke lightly at her face, and she could see the question in his eyes.
She grabbed his hand, bringing it to her lips so she could press a ginger kiss to his palm, before bringing it to rest at her cheek, pressing into it, always loving any point of contact between them.
"I'm fine, Levi, I promise." She could see the faintest hint of relief come to his eyes, clearly having worried he'd pushed her too far, despite her having said before that she wanted him to do this.
Knowing he hadn't finished, the sultry vixen took over, eager to please her Captain. "My sweet Captain has done such a good job taking care of me, now I'm going to take care of him."
It still stunned her to hear that tone fall from her lips, yet she knew that this side of her would never have revealed itself in front of any other man. Only Levi and his constant patience with her would have been able to unlock this part of her. Pushing him over onto his back, she straddled him, hands resting on his chest as she gazed down at him, and she could feel him pressed against her leg. She'd read about this, and despite her curiosity, she wasn't sure if she was quite ready for this much control, wasn't entirely sure how to do it.
As if sensing her hesitation, his hands came up to rest at her waist, stroking lightly at her sides. "Relax," he reassured, "you don't have to do anything you don't feel comfortable doing or anything you don't feel ready for. Just focus on what you want to do."
As always, his patience with her brought back her confidence. She leaned down, hair curtaining around his face, enveloping him in her sweet, feminine scent as she pressed her lips to his..
"You know, Captain," she purred, "I've said it before, and I'll say it again." She nipped at his lower lip, spurred when she saw his eyes darken. "You always say you're not good at comforting people, yet, you always know what to say, what to do to comfort me. Even when we were barely friends."
Sticking with what she felt comfortable with, not ready to try something new, she maneuvered off of him so that she was sitting on her knees beside him, eager to take him in her mouth. She could see the suspicion in his eyes, having been teased by her more than once.
"Don't worry, I won't tease you. Your loyal and faithful subordinate learned her lesson, Captain."
"Good."
She smiled innocently. "For tonight that is."
She watched as his eyes narrowed, though she could see the heated amusement in them, clearly enjoying being teased by her just as much as she had enjoyed being teased by him. She wasn't sure what it was, but being teased by him in that way, despite the desperation for release, had been exhilarating. Her pleasure completely in his control, being completely at his mercy had been thrilling, and she'd keep teasing him if it meant he'd tease and toy with her.
Leaning down, she took him into her mouth, enveloping him in warmth, a shiver hitting her at the sound of his strained groan, knowing he must be eager for release himself. A jolt hit her when a different taste registered, realizing it must be herself, intrigued at knowing what he'd tasted when he'd done this to her.
As she set a steady pace with her mouth and hand, she could feel him throbbing, twitching as he neared his own peak. His own hushed groans surrounded her, and her tongue swirling around him brought a strangled grunt every so often. His hand had come up so his fingers could thread lightly in her hair, bringing a pleased hum at the feel of him gently kneading her scalp, a thrill bolting through her at the sound of his strained curse at the feel.
Despite the fact that she was still learning, she loved doing this to him, loved bringing him pleasure however she could, and the feel of him in her mouth was always thrilling. She could still feel him trying to hold back whenever his hips would buck up against her mouth involuntarily, as if he were still worried he'd hurt her. She wanted to learn how to make him lose control, the way he did with her.
Not stopping the bob of her head, her hand inched down, cupping him, massaging gently, and a gentle squeeze was all it took to push him over the edge. His hand tightened slightly in her hair, his other one clenching into a fist in the sheets, his drawn-out groan filling her ears, sending fuel to her own arousal as his release filled her mouth. As she had the night before, she worked to swallow every drop, knowing he'd liked that she'd done that, even if he hadn't said it, even if he hadn't asked her for it.
She pulled off when she felt the tension in his body fade, placing a tender kiss on his tip before crawling back up to rest her arms across his chest, looking down at him, loving the satisfied look on his face, still relishing in the fact that she'd put it there.
His hand came up to stroke at her cheek, and she couldn't stop the shy smile, or the way she involuntarily leaned into his hand, always enjoying the way he showed affection. He flipped her onto her back, eyes lighting with amusement at the surprised squeak that fell from her. Her breath hitched when his hand brushed aside the hair that had fallen in her face, lip caught between her teeth as she looked up at him, her own hand coming up to cup his cheek, thumb brushing lightly across his face.
"You know, I meant what I said earlier." Knowing he doubted himself when it came to comforting others, she wanted him to understand that everything he said and did was always exactly what she needed. "You always know just what to say and do. Even back when we were barely friends. That day in Trost? That wasn't the first time I had an attack like that."
She watched his eyes widen, clearly taken by surprise at her words.
She took in a breath, wanting him to know more, remembering how he'd told her that he'd be there to listen whenever she was ready.
"Back in Mitras, I used to get them all the time when they'd lock me in that small, dark room, and I'd usually just pass out," she confessed.
Her face grew sad at the reminder of everything they'd done to her, the panicked feeling she always gotten when she'd been trapped in the dark, alone, no one to help her. She was comforted when he brought his hand to cup her cheek, the warmth of it always soothing her.
"In Trost, that was the first one I ever had where I was able to come back without passing out. You brought me back, Levi. So don't doubt yourself for one second."
Though her words were reassuring, the frown on his face deepened, almost wishing he could go back to when she was a little girl and protect her, the way he was now. "I hate that you had to go through that."
"I do too, but I don't regret it."
His brows lifted, taken aback. "You don't?"
"No," she reassured, "because, if even one thing in my life had been different, if even one thing had changed, I might have never met you."
She could feel the red creeping onto her cheeks at the admission. "I'm not grateful for what happened, but I wouldn't change a single thing. I'd go through it again and again if," she paused, taking a breath before continuing, "if it brought me to you each time."
Her heart flipped at the warmth, the affection that came to his eyes at her words.
He leaned down, brushing his lips across her cheek as he spoke, "I wouldn't change a single thing in my life either, sweetheart," her other cheek, "not one thing."
Sharp tears pricked in her eyes at the name, holding him close when he took her lips with his.
I…I don't think he's called me that before, not that I can remember.
Completely unaware he had used the endearing term just the morning prior, when he'd tried to pull her from her nightmare, her lips parted as she sighed, allowing him to deepen the kiss, taking her mind away, bringing that hazy fog, and all she felt was him. The feel of him pressing her into the mattress, sheltering her, protecting her, making her feel as safe as ever.
His chest pressing against hers, and she could feel the steady beat of his heart, one neither of them yet knew beat for her, the way hers did for him. His hands gently cupping her face, as if she were something precious that he wanted to cherish. Her hands stroked lightly down his back, the moment making her bold enough to brush down to his hips, reveling in the feel of his body that was all hers.
For as long as he wanted her.
He pulled back, softly smiling down at her, thumbs brushing lightly at her cheeks, no embarrassment from the pet name that had fallen so naturally from his lips, one he'd held for her before they'd even been together. Rolling to his side, he pulled her with him, drawing her close against him, arm wrapped under her shoulder, his hand coming up to stroke at her hair.
It was exhilarating to be held by him with nothing separating them, bare skin against bare skin, the heat of his body searing into hers. Letting her head rest against his shoulder, she felt confident enough to let her arm drape across him, hand resting at his waist. Unable to keep her eyes open, fatigue slowly took over, her eyes drifing closed as sleep pulled her in, the last thing she registered was his lips brushing across the top of her head, hands stroking lightly through her hair.
... - ...
The morning of the expedition came sooner than Isa would have liked. The Scouts gathered with their horses, their supplies, and rode out to Trost, following Erwin. She didn't know why, but she was more nervous about this expedition than any other one she'd been on, even her very first one.
She loved going outside the walls, loved that first taste of freedom. She'd craved freedom for so long as a child, and she had it now.
She thought she may be worried that she'd lose another person she loved. More often than not, an expedition had ended with her losing someone.
Lucy.
Isabel and Furlan.
Ethel and Sherri.
She'd lost too many people to titans, and was worried she'd lose more.
She wasn't sure what she would do if she lost Hange, Levi, Nanaba, or Nifa.
She'd managed to grow closer to Nanaba and Nifa over the past couple of months, not as close or as strong a connection like she had with Hange, but she knew that she'd get there with time.
She remembered back on that first day of training, when she'd thought she wouldn't be able to make friends, that no one would want to be her friend, yet, here she was, with friends, family, who meant more to her than anything, a man who was her best friend, who wanted a relationship with her, who wanted it all with her, whatever they decided that to be, and a whole history of people she'd loved, all helping her learn that the things she used to think of herself, still sometimes thought of herself, were not true.
She still had trouble with the weeds in her mind, the thoughts that would trickle through telling her they didn't really care about her, that they weren't her friends, that Levi didn't really want to be with her, that she was plain and pathetic, but she'd held firm to her promise she'd made to Levi and worked to fight off the thoughts when she felt them come up.
There were times that were more difficult than others, and she needed his help, like the morning of her nightmare, but so far, she'd succeeded.
She'd called to mind the words of her friends, the ones that had made her feel beautiful, and somehow, that warm feeling managed to push back the weeds when they tried to grow, joy, happiness, light working to defeat the darkness inside her.
She would even remember the way Levi looked at her. That warm look on his face, in his eyes, the one that made her feel as if she were the most beautiful person in the world.
And that night, when he'd said that she was…her heart still flipped at the thought, at the fact that he saw her that way.
She'd spent so long being told otherwise, and to hear the people who cared about her, tell her that she was, making her feel like she was, was doing wonders for her self-confidence.
In Trost, they received the usual welcoming.
Some treated them with scorn, contempt, detest, telling them they were wasting their time and money leaving the walls on these useless expeditions.
Others shouted words of encouragement, of admiration, understanding that the Scouts were doing this so that they could better understand the titans, the walls, why they lived the way they did.
The majority of those same people would be the ones joining the others when the Scouts returned, yelling at them, ridiculing them for losing so many people, potentially even throwing food at them.
She could see the hordes of women, having dressed in their best clothing for the occasion, each and every one of them hopeful to catch the eye of Levi, and she couldn't help but shake her head in amusement, knowing exactly how he felt about his adoring fans.
Her heart warmed when she saw Armin in the crowd, standing with his two friends, coming to see her off…just in case. Soft tears pricked at her eyes at the sight of the blond-haired little boy. He was truly a sweet child, so open, so bright, despite having gone through horrible tragedies. She still felt guilt at times that she hadn't been able to keep his grandfather safe, but he'd never harbored any resentment towards her, though she wouldn't have blamed him if he had.
His face brightened when he saw her, giving her an excited wave, and she couldn't help but laugh and wave back, his enthusiasm for everything was so contagious. His friend, Eren, also seemed excited to see her, knowing that she was coming to visit when the Scouts returned, and gave his own wave, practically bouncing in his shoes.
She looked forward to seeing him and to meeting his two friends, Eren and Mikasa. She could see Mikasa standing with the two boys, and for some reason, Mikasa reminded her of Levi. That calm, neutral expression, eyes taking in everything around her, constantly watching over her two friends, whom she clearly adored.
So young, all three of them, and to have witnessed when Wall Maria fell. The things they must have seen.
With a final wave, she turned back to face the front as they neared the gate. She hoped with all her being that she'd make it through this expedition, so that she could come back and see Armin and meet his two friends.
As she waited for the gates to open, her head turned to look at Levi on his horse beside her, and saw he was already watching her. She couldn't help but admire the way the uniform looked on him, the way he looked with his cape, the cravat, every bit of it screaming Levi. It was as if he'd been made for the uniform, no, as if the uniform had been made with him in mind, for him.
When her eyes moved to his face, she thought she saw the faintest hint of worry in his, and it matched what she was feeling. They both knew that anything could happen outside the walls, and she wished she could go to him, give him one last hug, one last kiss…just in case. Instead, she gave him a reassuring smile, knowing these few moments would be the last time she saw him until they arrived to where they were working on setting up a supply base.
Please stay safe, I…I can't lose you, Levi.
The whirring and clanking of the gears called for her attention, and she forced herself to tear her gaze from him, needing to prepare herself.
With a final deep breath, she followed the other Scouts outside the walls, tapping her heels in Luna's flank, signaling her to gallop.
As they moved, waiting for Erwin's command to deploy long-range formation, she could feel that constricting tightness in her chest, and she was starting to lose control of her breaths. Those same dots were appearing in front of her eyes, and the memory of that failed mission all those months ago was coming back.
Arthur as he saved Ethel, sacrificing himself in the process.
Ethel's frail body as the titan's mouth chomped down.
Sherri's body torn in half.
Tears were starting to prick in her eyes, vision blurring, and she was starting to feel dizzy.
'Take a breath.'
Levi's calm voice echoed in her mind, somehow calling her back, bringing her back, guiding her, reminding her that she was in control of her thoughts, not the other way around.
She reached a hand up, grasping at the necklace around her neck for strength, forcing herself to gain control of a breath, holding it, counting to five, before letting it go, the way he had helped her all those times.
As she exhaled, she could feel the tightness in her chest relax, and the dots slowly disappear. She forced the memories to the side, needing to focus, needing to stay alive, determination filling herself.
I'm not going to die outside these walls. I refuse.
I will see Levi again.
I will see Hange, Nanaba, and Nifa again.
We will make it back, we will survive.
I will make it back and I will get to see Armin again, and meet his friends.
I'm going to choose fight, always.
She felt his eyes on her, and she turned to face him, could see the silent question in his eyes.
I swear, sometimes he knows me better than I know myself.
She nodded, letting him know she was fine, and she could see the faintest hint of relief, pride, admiration come to his eyes.
When Erwin called for the Scout to move into the long-distance formation, she nudged Luna in the direction of her position with Nifa. The two were on the outskirts of the formation, one of the groups in charge of enemy detection. She forced herself to focus, the importance of enemy detection was too high to allow herself to be distracted. The other Scouts were relying on these outer groups to spot titans before they were too close, and to relay the message using the flare signals so that Erwin could shift the formation depending on where the titan was spotted.
It wasn't long before she saw a titan in the distance up ahead. She called to Nifa beside her to fire a red flare. Within minutes, she saw the green flare directing the group in a new direction, shifting away from the titan.
She was surprised at the success in the formation as they moved. They were avoiding each and every titan they came across, though, she was worried about abnormal titans that could appear. Those would need to be taken down, couldn't be avoided like normal titans.
Before she knew it, they'd arrived at the location Erwin had selected for the new supply base with a few hours of daylight left. It was one of the many small villages that were located within Wall Maria and held a few small houses. They'd lost a few members, but far less than what they would normally lose on the ride out, so it seemed as if Erwin's formation was working.
While she settled Luna into her pen, removing her tack as she always did, wanting to make sure her horse was as comfortable as possible while she rested, Hange came up to her, and told her she wanted to make another attempt in convincing Erwin to let the two of them capture a titan.
Isa had suggested that they could try going at night, when they believed that titans were inactive, thinking it could potentially sway him. She followed Hange to Erwin's tent, both with the hopes that they'd be able to convince him to let them capture a titan.
Outside the tent, Hange spoke, requesting permission to enter. "Sir, it's Hange and Isa. We'd like to speak with you for a moment if you have the time."
His calm voice drifted out of the tent. "You can enter."
The two entered the tent, finding Erwin looking over a map of the land, making notes here and there. The two saluted him before speaking.
Hange's voice was hopeful, excited, "Sir, we'd like for you to reconsider your stance on capturing a titan."
His eyes flicked up to look at her, before sighing, setting the map down onto the tab. "Hange, we've been through this, my answer holds."
"But sir, how are we supposed to research titans and their behavior if we can't even get close to them. If you could just—"
Erwin's arms crossed in front of his chest, voice taking a firm tone. "Hange, no."
Isa chimed in, thinking that perhaps her suggestion would help sway him. "Sir, we've come up with a better plan. If we go to that nearby forest at night, when the titans could be inactive, there's less risk."
He shook his head, and she could tell they wouldn't be able to convince him, at least not with other matters holding a higher priority for him. "Isa, I said no. That's just a theory you two have. Besides, even if it were true, it's still too risky. What about abnormals? How would we even move it?"
Determined, Hange kept pushing. "We could—"
"We've already lost too many people just getting here. We're not going to risk more than we have to."
"But—"
"Hange, please do not ask me again while we're out here. We need everyone focused to make sure we don't lose anyone else."
Hange's shoulders slumped, disappointed that once again, she'd been denied. "Yes sir."
The two walked back outside, and Isa did her best to try to reassure her friend. "Maybe he just needs some time. Maybe we can rework our plan, include a way to transport the captured titans, and then show him."
"I don't know, Isa. Maybe it's all pointless. Nothing we've done has convinced him."
"Hey, don't say that, Hange. We'll figure it out, I know we will."
Hange gave her friend a small smile. "Thanks, Isa, I just...I just need to be alone right now. I need some time to think."
There was an odd light in Hange's eyes, and Isa wasn't sure what to make of it. "Whatever you need Hange, I have second watch, so come find me if you need me."
"I will."
Isa left Hange alone with her thoughts, making her way back over to Luna. She gave her horse a sugar cube as a little treat, always willing to spoil her precious mare. "Luna, what are we going to do? Nothing we've done has convinced Erwin to change his mind."
The mare nuzzled her nose against Isa's face, and she thought her horse was reassuring her, telling her that she'd figure it out.
She placed a soft kiss on the mare's muzzle before stretching out on the ground, allowing herself to get a few hours of sleep before her shift on watch, though, when Nifa came to wake her, it felt as if only a few moments had passed.
It was now nighttime, the stars and moon providing some light around them. It would have bene worse if there were clouds, making titans impossible to spot. Making her way up to the roof of one of the houses, she settled in for watch duty.
She glanced across the land below her, and she could see Scouts all around. Some were still awake, not willing to risk sleeping outside the walls. Others were asleep, putting their trust in those on watch. She saw a group of four sitting around a small fire, and it brought a nostalgic smile to her face, as it reminded her of her three friends on that first expedition so long ago. A single tear trailed down her face at the memory of that night before, how happy the four of them had been. It was moments such as this one that she missed Sherri and Lucy, more than anything.
A finger brushing down her cheek, wiping away the stray tear pulled her from her thoughts, and she turned her head to find Levi sitting next to her. She could see the silent question in his eyes.
She gave him a reassuring smile as she sniffled. "I'm fine, I promise. I just saw those four down there," she pointed out the group of Scouts, her face softening further when she saw they were laughing, "and they look so close. They reminded me of me and my friends on our first expedition. The one where I lost Lucy. I always miss Lucy and Sherri, but it's little things like that, that makes me miss them more."
He handed her one of the cups of tea in his hand, before draping his arm around her shoulders, bringing her close against his side, or as close as he could, considering they were both wearing their gear, and grazing his lips across her temple, providing her comfort in the only ways he knew, still not aware that simply his presence always comforted her.
Letting her head drop against his shoulder, she took a sip of the tea he brought her, unable to stop the content sigh at the taste of her favorite leaves. She drew her knees in and enjoyed the feel of being held by Levi while outside the walls. She couldn't resist the temptation. She tilted her head up, leaning up to brush a kiss across his cheek, loving the slight hint of pink that came to his face at the unexpected affection, the amusement in his eyes when he turned to face her, brushing his own lips across her forehead.
She was unable to control her own flush that rose to her cheeks at the featherlight touch, the one that always felt like a butterfly landing on her forehead, nor could she control the way her lips curled into a shy smile, bashful innocence filling her eyes as she looked up at him, despite all the things she'd done with him.
How the hell do I still manage to feel so shy around him sometimes?
She truly hoped she survived this expedition, and every expedition. That they both did. She wanted as much time with him as she could get, wanting to enjoy what she had. Letting her head drop back down, she forced herself to focus on the terrain in front of her, needing to keep an eye out for titans. But as she did, a thought occurred to her.
Without looking away from the land, she spoke. "Do you..."
"What?"
"Do you think you would have still wanted me if we'd met in the Underground?"
He paused, and she could tell he was considering the hypothetical, trying to decide what could have happened if their circumstances had been different. "Who knows, I didn't really have a lot of time for this sort of thing, plus it would have taken me even longer to trust you." His hand squeezed her shoulder affectionately. "Then again, knowing the stubborn, pain in the ass you are, you would have found a way to worm yourself into my life."
She giggled at the thought. "I would have won you over, easily. Just imagine, the big bad, grouchy ass gang leader in the Underground paired off with someone like me. You glaring at anyone who tried to say anything."
"You taking on anyone who tried to hurt me, Isabel, or Furlan," he teased.
She gave him a gentle nudge with her shoulder, knowing that's exactly what would have happened. "I would have definitely done that. It's always been easier for me to stand up to people when it's someone I care about being hurt. Not so much myself."
He hummed in agreement, remembering all the times he'd witnessed herself defending others more easily than she defended herself. "But you're doing better now, I've seen it."
She took his hand in her free one, linking their fingers together, bringing the cup in her other hand up to her lips for a sip of tea. "That's mostly thanks to you, Levi. You training me has done wonders for my confidence. And it's because I know when you tell me I did good, it's because I did. You say what you mean, even if it might hurt someone's feelings. It's one of the things I admire about you."
"You admire me for that? Most people hate that about me."
She thought he sounded genuinely surprised, and she couldn't blame him. Most people were put off at his blunt nature, the way he said what was on his mind without hesitation. "I'm not most people, just like I'm not most women, and like I said before, I think that's probably one of the things you like most about me."
His lips brushing across the top of her head was all the confirmation she needed.
She let her head tilt up against his shoulder so she could meet his eyes, needing him to understand how much she appreciated his personality, his demeanor. "I've always found your bluntness reassuring more than anything. It tells me that you mean what you say. It's part of why I trust you, because I know you'll never lie to me."
"I won't. I couldn't lie to you."
"I know."
She brought her head back down so she could continue monitoring their surroundings, though there had been no sightings, and she wasn't sure if she found the quiet reassuring or disconcerting.
He was quiet for a moment, and she could practically hear him thinking, and she waited patiently for him to speak.
"Would your parents have even been okay with you being with someone with a past like mine?"
Her brows furrowed together, never having even considered the possibility, though now she couldn't help but wonder. "Honestly? I'm not sure. I'd like to think so, they would have known what living in the Underground is like, what it can make you do. Plus, you would have just been one more person to keep me safe. I think maybe at first they would have been hesitant, but they would have grown to like you when they saw how much of a softie you really are."
"I would have definitely done my best to keep you safe."
She noted that he had completely ignored her comment about how sweet he could be, though when she glanced up at him, she caught the slightest hint of pink on his cheeks. "I know you would have. And I probably would have driven you insane with how easily distracted I can be."
"You do that already."
Before she could respond, a frantic voice called from behind where she sat with him on the roof.
"Isa!"
She turned to look over her shoulder to see Moblit running across the roof of the building. If he was surprised by Levi's arm around Isa, holding her close, he didn't show it.
She took in his panicked expression and she could feel her own begin to kick in, heart beginning to race, the shakiness settling into her hands.
Moblit was a nervous type, but he didn't panic unless something was truly wrong. And outside the walls, anything could happen.
She struggled to keep her own worry out of her voice, dreading what he was about to say. "Moblit? What...what's wrong?"
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I can't find Squad Leader anywhere!"
The blood drained from Isa's face as her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach.
She bolted up, using her gear to drop down to the ground, Moblit and Levi close behind.
She darted towards where they kept the horses, needing to get Luna so she could find Hange. "When was the last time you saw her?"
Despite the size difference, Moblit was having trouble keeping up with Isa, adrenaline making her faster. "Not too long after she tried to convince Commander Erwin to let her capture a titan."
That was hours ago.
Dammit Hange.
She called back to Moblit, still running, refusing to waste any more time. "Moblit, go inform Commander Erwin that Hange has gone off on her own in an attempt to capture a titan and that I'm going after her. Then you're in charge of the squad until we return."
"On it." Moblit adjusted course, running towards Erwin's tent.
She leapt over the fence for Luna's pen, stomach tightening in knots. "Dammit Hange, why?"
Untying Luna's lead from the post, she didn't bother with her tack, and was about to jump onto the mare when she felt a hand on her arm. She turned to see Levi standing behind her, eyes imploring her not to do this.
"Isa, wait! You can't...you can't go after her."
Her eyes narrowed, chin lifting in defiance, fear and worry removing the rational side of her. "Why the hell not, Levi?"
"Because you don't know where she is or..." He trailed off, but she knew what he wanted to say.
Her eyes widened slightly, fear making her voice hard, harder than she intended, though it still wavered at the suggestion. "No! She's n-not dead! I know it!"
He hated himself for even suggesting that to her, but he knew that the odds of someone surviving alone outside the walls were slim. "You don't know that. You can't go on a hunt for her by yourself."
Her hands clenched into fists, eyes narrowing, flashing at him, refusing to believe the possibility that Hange was dead, desperately needing her to be alive. "I'm not leaving her out there alone! She could need help! She's my best friend, Levi! She's my sister! You should know more than anyone how much she means to me!"
"You don't even know where the hell she's at!"
She yanked her arm out of his grasp, fear growing the more time she wasted. "There's only one place she'd go! The damn forest that's nearby, because she's not an idiot, as much as you may think she is! She knows the forest is the best place to try to capture one!"
"She's obviously one if she went out on her own!" His voice had dropped to a frustrated growl.
She hated that he made a good point with that. They all knew how dangerous it was outside the walls, and it was even worse alone. "Be that as it may, I'm not going to leave her out there by herself! I'm going to go find her, and you can't stop me!"
Neither of them had noticed the other Scouts doing their best to hide their shock at the two arguing. The majority of the Scouts still only thought the two were friends, not everyone was aware of the shift in their relationship.
Still, ever since the two had become close, it was rare for them to fight, and it was an even rarer sight to see Levi so worked up, especially outside the walls, his usually calm demeanor having disappeared with his fear, and the rest were having trouble hiding their stunned disbelief at the scene.
She watched as he took a breath, fingers pressed to the bridge of his nose, eyes closing, clearly trying to regain control of himself.
His eyes opened to meet hers, hand coming up to her shoulder. "Then just wait, let me get my squad, and we'll come with you."
She thought his voice had a pleading note to it, a different tone, one she'd never heard from him, as if he were begging her not to do this. But she couldn't listen, not with Hange in danger. If their situations were reversed, she knew Hange wouldn't hesitate to come after her. The two had been there for each other in more ways than one since they met, and she wasn't about to sit around and wait for a good time to go.
She needed to find Hange. Now.
Jumping onto Luna, her desperation pushed her, keeping her from thinking things through. "I can't wait, there's no time! She's been gone for too long and she could need help!"
His eyes narrowed, words coming out through clenched teeth. "Dammit, Isa, just wait for me. It's not safe to go alone."
Guilt was filling her, combining with her frustration with Hange and with Levi. "I'm sorry, Levi, I can't wait."
With one last apologetic look at Levi, the fear in his eyes that only she could see sending ripples of guilt through her. Knowing he wouldn't be far behind her with his own squad, she nudged Luna forward, leaping over the fence, galloping in the direction of the forest, worry and terror driving her forward.
Hange what the hell were you thinking?
I'm sorry, Levi. Please forgive me.