Yoshi and Birdo IT isn't worth it

by PhoenixStormJr

After a scary bedtime story about the shroobs Birdo tries to calm down her husband Yoshi. But her efforts are worthless when a REAL ALIEN INVASION HAPPENS! Yoshi is terrified of the strongest one, the Yoob. To make matters worse Birdo defies science and somehow gets pregnant. Will she be able to raise a family, carry a child and fight or will she take the EASY way out?

23. Chapter 23 Yoshi's research

(Tank clicked on the first video on the screen. Dr. Joy came up.)

Dr. Joy: "Hello. I assume you're watching this because either A you're the only person in the whole world besides me who has access to this room, known as Birdo munchakoopas, or through a fatal accident I'm not here anymore. So I guess there's no point in keeping my identity secret anymore is there?"

(Dr. Joy's voice became very high pitch.)

Yoshi: "My real identity is Yoshisaur Munchakoopas, Birdo's husband. This fake robot came in handy and made for a pretty good joke saying she liked me instead of me. HAHAHA! Oh well."

(Yoshi picked up the fake robot and threw it.)

Yoshi: "Anyway, the reason I kept my identity secret is not because of all that stuff about keeping my wife safe. She could handle herself. She's pretty strong. I don't want to accept all the adult responsibilities of being super smart. OK never mind that's not true either. I don't want Birdo not to like me knowing I'm super smart, and can talk perfectly normal. Birdo might not like me anymore knowing I super smart. I like acting like a kid I really do. But I can use all this intelligence for good! Yoshi rather talk like this. It make me feel so much more happy. That why Yoshi named self Dr. Joy. Yoshi actually super smart behind the scenes. Now when Yoshi get time to build this lab and stuff? Yoshi record Birdo's every sleeping time and sneak off for one hour every night and come here. Whenever Birdo goes to sleep, 2 hours later me get up and come here. Yoshi studied every other power of all the other yoshis and kept trying to copy it. Yoshi feel very embarrassed losing to those bullies and getting saved by Birdo so me want to become super strong and save Birdo instead. Hours turned to weeks turned to months and years but Yoshi finally put the powers in a gummy. First it was a needle and had to be injected in the place of using the powers and that HURT! But now it's just a little gummy. Yoshi also trying to make one that combines all the powers into one so me not have to keep switching. Yoshi almost got it! If only those dumb shroobs would leave. Yoshi think he found some super weakness of theirs hidden in history books. If only Yoshi knew how to make it. I come back and tell you more later. Bye."

Tank: "Yup. Knew it was him. But... Dead? What happened to him?"

(Tank played the video after that one. He skipped the ones before as not to make him embarrassed. Yoshi was in his lab with the chemical.)

Yoshi: "Alright. Got it. This is their weakness. Same chemicals as babies tears. Guess we could put a sponge around their eyes. HAHAHA! Neah that's just a joke. Anyway lets this in a water gun!"

(Yoshi got a water gun and poured it in very fast. Some splashed out and got on his arm.)

Yoshi: "GYOOOOOW! Huh?"

(Yoshi took a cloth and wiped it off.)

Yoshi: "This is supposed to be non toxic for earth yoshis. What's going on!? Do Yoshi have the chemical formula wrong? No. Gotta cancel this whole project now and start over."

(Yoshi took the beaker and threw it in the trash. Then left. The next video was a recording of the camp trip.)

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Yoshi: "Birdo wake up!"

Birdo: "Hm? Oh Hi... Yosh-...zzzzz"

Ally: "DANG! Birdo is pretty out of it since that fight! I haven't seen anyone that tired except girls who are pregnant! I'd just let her rest Yoshi so she'll be more awake for the camp."

Yoshi (Whispering): "Yeah Yoshi already thought that!"

Rexie: "Did you hear what she said Yoshi!? Pregnant!?"

Yoshi: "OH Yoshi would LOVE THAT! But... it's not possible. Birdo can't get pregnant." Whispering: "Unless Yoshi got anything to say about it!"

Rexie: "Why Yoshi?"

Yoshi: "Well, Birdo has swyer syndrome. That means she-"

Ally: "Yoshi he's only 10 years old!"

Yoshi: "So?"

Ally: "Kids don't need to know that!"

Yoshi: "Oh. Sorry."

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(Yoshi shakes Birdo)

Yoshi: "Birdo! Birdo wake up!"

Birdo: "Hm?"

Yoshi: "Birdo! We're at the camp now!"

Birdo: "Oh... Did Birdo fall asleep?"

Yoshi: "Yeah. Birdo was out." Whisper: "Because you pregnant!"

Birdo: "Oh. Sorry. Me no know WHY I so weak and tired. Sorry."

Yoshi: "No it's alright! Let's get out and play!"

Birdo: "Alright."

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Ally: "There's five of us. But when one or more goes to a place we only allow one care worker to watch. Maximum of 3 children to one care worker outside the facility. But there used to be 32 children about 13 years ago and 7 care workers."

Yoshi: "What happened?"

Ally: "Wart attacked the center. He bombed it. 2 children died. Ommy we found his body but we never found Jelly the girl."

Yoshi: "How was Jelly? What color? How old?"

Ally: "About 5. She had this problem eating so we had to feed her through a straw. She was pink. At that time there were two care workers, one Dr. Tank and his wife Amber. But Wart attacked and killed her. Dr. Tank quit out of sadness and then studied surgery and medicine."

Yoshi: "So Jelly was never found?"

Ally: "No."

Yoshi: "Then she could still be alive!" (Whis: "Yoshi gonna make that his next research project.")

Ally: "Very unlikely Yoshi. We think the bomb burned her body up."

Yoshi: "That's sad."

(Birdo comes back.)

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Ally: "Thanks. We brought cold hot dogs which we will roast over a fire."

Yoshi: "That sounds fun!" Whis: "Hey! Now's Yoshi's chance to stick that camera in Birdo's food. Yoshi can see the baby form. Oh this is so exciting."

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(Rexie gets a stick and puts one over the fire. Yoshi and Birdo get the 5 weenie sticks. Yoshi gobbles up the weenies even before they're fully roasted but Birdo makes sure to cook hers.) (Yoshi lets a spy camera the size of a sugar grain onto one of Birdo's weenies.)

Yoshi: "Man I so hungry! These taste so good!" Whis: "How Birdo get pregnant anyway? Yoshi never do anything to reverse swyer syndrome. Oh well must be an act of God."

Birdo: "They do taste good but... me just not really hungry."

Yoshi: "Huh why?"

Birdo: "I no know."

(Yoshi gobbles down 42 weenies, Rexie 35 and Birdo... 8.)

Yoshi: "What's wrong?"

Birdo: "I just can't eat no more."

Yoshi: "Birdo usually eats 30!" (Good thing the camera got in.)

Birdo: "I know! I know! I been feeling bad and slowly getting worse. For three months. So weak and tired. Can't eat as much. Wake up extra tired."

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(Yoshi gets on the scale.)

Rexie: "OK now THAT'S SCARY!"

Ally: "ONLY 62 POUNDS!?"

Yoshi: "Well at least I not overweight!" (Whis: "OK This is kind of scary.")

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Birdo: "Yoshi... *yawns* I know Birdo is really tired but... Can we tickle each other just a little before bed?"

Yoshi: "Yeah!" (whis: "That will gimme the chance to feel her belly!")

(Yoshi grabs Birdo's belly and she falls on the ground. Yoshi continues tickling her and she's laughing but isn't tickling back. Yoshi takes his hands off.)

Yoshi: "Birdo?"

Birdo: "*sigh* Sorry Sugar egg. I too tired to have a tickle fight... Hold on I gotta go again."

(Birdo leaves the tent.)

Yoshi: "Wonder what's wrong with her?" (Whis: "No I don't. Baby.")

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Yoshi: "No. Birdo needs to rest. Especially if-! EEEEEEEEEE!" (Yoshi shrieked with excitement.)

Yoshi: "Wonder if it's gonna be a boy or a girl! What toys would the baby like!? If the baby a boy what do we name him? Or girl what do we- What I saying!? Birdo has swyer syndrome! This isn't scientifically possible!" (Whis: "Why can't Yoshi stop thinking about this!?")

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Tank: "Honestly Yoshi I can't believe you! I know you want a child but you shouldn't expect this and even deny science to try to get one. There's many at the orphanage, but Birdo doesn't want one! You should be ashamed!"

Yoshi: "I not trying to force anything! But if Birdo is pregnant then she has no choice but to raise a kid! I so excited!" Whis: "What would you know? Yoshi way smarter then you. I Dr. Joy HAHA!"

Tank: "Actually she has other choices, but there isn't a chance anyway. She is not pregnant, science says so."

Yoshi: "What other choices does she have?" Whis: "You couldn't be talking about Abortion?"

Tank: "Well she doesn't really since SHE ISN'T PREGNANT but if it was a different girl without swyer syndrome she could have either adoption which give the child to another family, or abortion."

Yoshi: "What's abortion?" Whis: "Yup. That's what he's talking about. Birdo never do that though."

Tank: "Abortion? Terminate the pregnancy."

Yoshi: "Uh what's that?"

Tank: "Basically stops the fetus from growing"

Yoshi: "What's a fetus?"

Tank: "A fetus is the baby before it becomes alive."

Yoshi: "SO BASICALLY MURDER!?"

Tank: "No Yoshi it wouldn't be alive yet."

Yoshi: "BUT IT'S STOPPING IT FROM GROWING AND LIVING! THAT IS MURDER!"

Tank: "However you wanna look at it. She isn't pregnant so that settles it."

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Tank: "Oh look who would've guessed? No baby no pregnancy. Now let's get to the bottom of what's actually going on."

Yoshi: "Doc did you actually look at this video?" (Whis: "Oh look who would've guessed? You a doctor? Yoshi better doctor.")

Tank: "Why would-... No way! NO WAY!"

Yoshi: "Yes way! OOOH! YES YES YES!"

Tank: "This isn't possible!"

(Yoshi runs back to Birdo.)

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Tank: "I AM NOT A BAD DOCTOR! Yoshi knew all along what abortion was? How'd he find out?"

(Tank played the next video.)

Yoshi: "That camera me put in corner of eye caught every whisper! YES! No one heard anything! Can't believe Tank would suggest abortion! What type of a loonie is he!? A once in a... forever! No one like Birdo ever been pregnant before! Not only that it's just evil!"

Tank: "Evil?"

Yoshi: "Me gonna search around for anything else about Jelly. Maybe she still alive. Yoshi look through all security cameras on the island."

Tank: "How'd he get access to them?"

Yoshi: "The password of "Mario is my hero" isn't that hard to crack. Let's get searching!"

(The video ended. The next one had Yoshi continuing to study that chemical to kill the shroobs.)

Yoshi: "Me no get it. This is the same thing as baby tears! The formula is PERFECT! Why is it hurting me!?"

(Yoshi turned off the camera. The next one was a security clip of Birdo watching a diary.)

Tank: "OK! Now we're getting somewhere!"

Yoshi: "Who is that shroob imposter!? Yoshi analyzed all the DNA of every friend and every one of them is the exact same! *Grumble*"

(Yoshi kind of spit a little when grumbling and some got in the machine.)

Computer: "DNA mat-"

Yoshi: "EH SHUT UP!... Wait... Computer, compare that DNA with those of other yoshis."

Computer: "Analyzing DNA. 97% similarity."

Yoshi: "That can't be right. Show the data on the DNA."

Computer: "Yoshisaur munchakoopas DNA 97% similarity to Birdo, Tank, Happy, Jewel, Ruby, Ally."

Yoshi: "How similar is Birdo's?"

Computer: "Birdo munchakoopas 99.5% similarity."

Yoshi: "That can't be right. Yoshi DNA is supposed to be 99.5% similarity. Yoshi a earth Yoshi. Only shroobs have 97%... No... Can't be... The formula to kill the shroobs. Those spots Yoshi got were shroob colors. No way."

Birdo: "Why he not already know that? The little traitor!"

(Yoshi put the recording on pause. Then came back with other samples.)

Yoshi: "Computer, analyze these. This was the blood of the yoobs that-t attacked."

Birdo: "What are you trying to do!? Don't you already know!?"

Computer: "Analyzing DNA. 99.9% similarity to Yoshisaurus munchakoopas."

Yoshi: "N-no... N-no... I can't be... Computer! Sh-show the birth parents of Yoshisaur-r munchakoopas!"

Computer: "Birth parents of Yoshisaur munchakoopas, Happy and Jewel."

Yoshi: "Show the DNA analysis."

Computer: "97% similarity. Children possibilities, Orange and Purple."

Yoshi: "Comp-puter *whimper* find the birth parents using DNA analysis."

Computer: "Scanning possible inputs. Father of Yoshisaur munchakoopas found as well as mother. Species Yoob name Joen Mother Yoober name Hallen"

Yoshi: "*whimper* No. NO! IT IS TRUE!... *whimper*"

Birdo: "Huh?"

Yoshi: "I THE YOOB! AAAAAAAH HUHUHUH!" (Yoshi starts crying on the recorded video and runs off.)

Birdo: "He didn't know?"

(Yoshi eventually comes back still crying.)

Yoshi: "Mama... daddy... H-help me! Happ-ppy... Jew-wel... PLEASE! NOT THE SHROOB MAMA AND DADDY I WANT PARENTS BACK!"

(Yoshi starts crying. He sees his tears fall on the floor.)

Yoshi: "I DON'T WANNA BE A SHROOB! HEEEEEEELP MEEEEEE! SOMEONE PLEASE!"

Birdo: "Yoshi... didn't know... Yoshi! YOSHI! YOU NOT EVIL IT'S OK! PLEASE COME BACK!"

Yoshi: "B-B-Birdo is g-gonna hat-te me! She's g-gonna div-vorce me! NOOOO!"

Birdo: "YOSHI NO! PLEASE! COM-ME BA-CK-CK!"

(Yoshi turned off the camera. He went home crying. He forgot to turn off the camera in his eye. Then Tank saw why Yoshi had that bad dream of him being a monster. He knew he wasn't a real Yoshi. And he was terrified of losing Birdo.)

Tank: "So... Happy and Jewel were right. He didn't know... They actually raised him without him knowing... But... What happened to him!?"

(Tank continued playing the next video. And the next one showed what events happened after Birdo had the abortion.)