Yoshi and Birdo IT isn't worth it

by PhoenixStormJr

After a scary bedtime story about the shroobs Birdo tries to calm down her husband Yoshi. But her efforts are worthless when a REAL ALIEN INVASION HAPPENS! Yoshi is terrified of the strongest one, the Yoob. To make matters worse Birdo defies science and somehow gets pregnant. Will she be able to raise a family, carry a child and fight or will she take the EASY way out?

35. Chapter 35 The greatest lie

(Tank got all the research of Yoshi's. He began to tell everything about the shroobs)

Tank: "Birdo... before you go... I hope you know Yoshi... is a yoob."

Birdo: "Me no care! Birdo tell Yoshi the heart is what matters! I gonna stick to it! I no care he's an alien!"

Tank: "Alright. Remember, you are pregnant. If you try hand to hand combat, he will kill you! Also his claws are sharper than yours. Shroobs claws are razor sharp!"

Birdo: "So how I supposed to win?"

Tank: "And you're a girl, he's a boy... He already has that advantage. However his arms are weak, so keep that in mind. You might be able to beat him with punches, but they can't be from the front. You have to get behind him to attack him."

Birdo: "Get behind got it!"

Tank: "Also a little known fact about earth yoshis, our tails if captured will snap off. We're lizards after all. If you're in front of him, point your tail in his direction so if he does cut anything with his claws, it will be your tail."

Birdo: "Won't that hurt!?"

Tank: "Not much. There's not many nerves in your tail. It will grow back. Yoobs tails never grow back and don't snap off. If you get behind him, grab Yoshi by the tail and try to swing him. If he grabs you by the tail, yours will snap off."

Birdo: "ok!"

Tank: "His tongue isn't sticky. It has those snake cuts in the front. Yoshi must wrap his tongue around you to make it stick. Use your claws to scratch his tongue to make him let go. His tongue is also shorter than yours so you can beat him in longer distances. Yoobs tongues are 20 ft and yoshis are 30 ft."

Birdo: "Longer tongue. Long distance combat."

Tank: "He has acid spit. I'm not sure how far it can shoot but if you're behind him for the majority of the battle you will win! The good news is he's too brainwashed to remember how to use the other pills to use different powers. His only unique power will be running. try to get behind him or above him."

Birdo: "I gonna save Yoshi!"

Tank: "I'll also come with you."

Ally: "Me too! Let's go save Yoshi!"

Birdo: "OK... But... Me think... Yoshi... was..."

Tank: "Was what?"

Birdo: "Was right..."

Ally: "He was right about keeping the baby. Yes that wasn't your fault."

Birdo: "No... Right... for the divorce..."

Tank: "What!?"

Birdo: "I never listened to sugar egg... Me should've known he had good reason..."

Ally: "But... why are you saving him then?"

Birdo: "I no deserve a boy like Yoshi. He too good for me... I no want... someone so good to die..."

Tank: "Jelly... I..."

Birdo: "Yoshi deserves a better girl than me. Let's just go and then get this over with."

(However when they walked out there was a breaking news headline on Yoshi's computer. Tank read the title)

Tank: "The Judea Christian God shows himself, But he isn't what you thought he was."

Ally: "Click it!"

(Tank clicks the notification and it shows the news reporter from earlier in the story.)

Reporter: "Just yesterday, Dr. Joy's lab was attacked by Kunyay and Brega, along with their real master. We're on the scene with a few of the soldiers that were attacked."

Soldier: "Just as we were flying above, a huge wind was sent by their incredible leader and took us all down! He killed some but others were possessed. Some passed out, I was one who passed out."

Reporter: "Absolutely tragic. And we're also with Kemmy who reveals the identity of the great king"

Kemmy: "Yes, I snapped a picture of him and look closely."

Reporter: "We'll show it on the screen."

(The picture of Jesus shows on the screen)

Reporter: "Does it seem familiar? This picture is the Christian God Jesus Christ. Here's a picture drawn by a little girl as well."

(They show a picture of the prince of peace)

Reporter: "Absolutely tragic. The one who attacked was the God of the universe Jesus Christ. Back to you at the studio"

Reporter#2: "We're here with Pail, the head priest to discuss the topic."

(Pail is crying crocodile tears)

Pail: "I j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-jUS-SUS-US-U-SSUS0U0DU0SUS0S"

Reporter#2: (Whispers) "too much stuttering"

Pail: "I j-j-just cn't be-bebeleive all th-th is time I'v-v-e been worshipp-pp-pping a monster! From th-this day forward I'm hanging u-up my priest-t-t hood-d-d and joining Kem-Kemmy in witchcraft! The ev-ev-evil J-Jesus C-christ has po-possess-s-sssed those po-poor soldiers!"

Birdo: "HE NOT POSSESS NO BODY! JESUS SAVED ME!"

Reporter#2: "Birdo soon fell to his control as well. Just in case you're still skeptical of who attacked, If you zoom in on Kunyay, he's holding the holy bible and has been casting spells from it. So therefore, we have sent out military members to burn every bible in Yoshi's island. Some military members have been killed because they were possessed by Jesus. Meanwhile we have contacted Princess Peach who had Kunyay's possessing powers wear off thanks to Kemmy's magic. She has ordered a full investigation into all Christians. over to you."

Peach: "Oh in my kingdom everything has been going terrible! The mushroom kingdom is practically already at civil war! Toads have created their own sides and won't listen to me at all! Families have been torn apart! The worst being Mario and Luigi, who used to be best brothers but look at this video:"

Mario: "We can't-a keep following this evil God-a Luigi! Look what he-a did to Birdo!"

Luigi: "He hasn't-a done anything to-a her! Birdo was going-a to commit suicide out of-a depression! I was-a there, I was-a one of the so called attackers!"

Mario: "YOU! YOU'RE-A WORKING WITH KUNYAY! I'LL SAVE YOU LUIGI! I'LL FIGHT-A YOU BACK TO YOU'RE-A OLD SELF!"

(Mario takes out a fire flower and throws fireballs at Luigi. The video ends.)

Peach: "Luigi beat Mario who is currently at my castle. He left after my police got there I don't know where he went. Probably to get Kunyay to possess Mario again."

(Tank turns off the computer after the news report)

Ally: "Oh no! I should've known Kunyay was the good guy! Now it's too late to stop Kemmy and those others!"

Tank: "They've made our God out to be a monster. Both kingdoms have turned against us out of ignorance! They think we're the villains!"

Birdo: "What we gonna do?"

Tank: "We must get Yoshi back! He is doctor Joy and has all those powers. He can help us fight! But we must hurry! Before they get to him!"

(The trio heads out. When they get outside they are met with Luigi, Rexie, Daisy, and Ruby.)

Luigi: "Kunyay ACTUALLY sent us to help-a fight for Yoshi!"

Rexie: "I'm gonna listen to Kunyay! Sorry Ally!"

Ally: "I know. But all of us together can save Yoshi!"

Ruby: "I gave the video recordings to Kunyay to distribute. I think they'll try to discredit me though."

Birdo: "All 7 of us should be able to get Yoshi back!"

Daisy: "I'm so pissed at Kemmy for deceiving me! I can't believe I thought Kunyay was evil! Luigi, you're helping me to stop Kemmy, Pail and all those monsters!"

Luigi: "But we-a can't fight against-"

Daisy: "WE'RE FIGHTING!"

Ruby: "Kunyay went to go cure Kamic from his virus. He might join us too."

Birdo: "But against 2 nations, I no know how we stand a chance!"

Tank: "With God on our side, we will win! Let's go get Yoshi in the cutting caves!"

(The 7 start their journey to the caves where Yoshi is. But on their way there a helicopter is flying over head looking... for them. It sets a light beam on them and the megaphone says)

Pilot: "PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD AND GET ON THE GROUND!"

(The helicopter takes out a machine gun.)

Birdo: "What we gonna do?"

Tank: "Kunyay said to fight."

(Tank spits glue up to the helicopter clogging the machine gun. Ally sends a lightning bolt at the top of the helicopter causing it to crash. Ally goes up to the pilot)

Ally: "You know we're on the side of the lord, why are you fighting us?"

Pilot: "Your God is evil and I must stop him at all costs!"

Birdo: "What we gonna do?"

Tank: "We can't let him get away and we can't kill him. He's brainwashed. I'll take him back to the lab as prisoner."

(Tank walks over to the pilot and knocks him in the cheek then carry's him back to the lab.)

Birdo: "Let's hope he comes back safely."

Rexie: "Weren't there some trapped soldiers by Kunyay? Maybe they can help us!"

Ally: "You're right! Let's go!"

(The 6 find those soldiers in their cage. Birdo puts her hand on the cage and immediately it collapses.)

Soldier#1: "WE'RE SAVED!"

Soldier#2: "YES! Thank you thank you!... Wait... Birdo!?"

Birdo: "Long story. Basically Yoshi's island's government has made Christianity illegal. You would been killed."

Soldier#3: "WHAT!?"

Daisy: "well..."

(Daisy tells the story.)

Soldier#1: "So the cage... saved us!?"

Birdo: "Uh huh. Kunyay saved you guys from being killed."

Soldier#3: "Well. We're sorry for the trouble. We fight for freedom! Not the government. I'm with you now."

Soldier#2: "As am I"

(Many soldiers then saluted them.)

Soldier#1: "Let's save Yoshi!"

(They all moved along. Tank eventually caught up to them. Then multiple helicopters with US flags showed up as well.)

Soldier#1: "Guess it's time for battle."

Pilot: "REMAIN CALM! The United States has made a vote to go to war with Yoshi's island and the mushroom kingdom! The United States has also broken out in civil war and we side with Jesus Christ! But most of the United States isn't like us. The US has divided into 2 countries again."

Birdo: "Well at least we got more help!"

Soldier#2: "Let's continue!"

(So the full army continued on to get Yoshi. No one dared attack anymore. Eventually they got to the cave and Birdo entered first but Pail showed up levitating on top.)

Pail: "Hel-"

(BANG BANG BOOM BOM KABLAM BANG!)

Pail: "lo... This is a hologram and you've just caused the entrance to the cave to collapse right on Birdo. There's no way you'll get that open now! HAHAHAHA!"

Soldier: "Woops."

(Pails hologram disappeared.)

Birdo: "What was that?"

(Birdo turns around to look... And she's trapped inside!)

Birdo: "Guys can you hear me!?"

(No answer.)

Birdo: "HELLO!?"

(No answer. They are yelling for her too though.)

Tank: "JELLY! JELLY! JELLY ANSWER ME! PLEASE ANSWER! I don't know if she was crushed or not! Quick we have to get these rocks out of the way!"

(The soldiers worked to get the rocks out of the way. But many bombs later barely anything was moved.)

Birdo: "Guys!?... hello?... .. .. .. .. .. guess me gonna have to save Yoshi by self."

(Birdo reached under her shell and took out a syringe full of the cure.)

Birdo: "Still here. Alright... Let's go get Yoshi."

(Birdo walks in further to go find and beat Yoshi... By herself. Birdo walked further into the cutting cave. There were stalagmites all over the place. Birdo had to walk around them. As she walked further into the cave, she found many dead birds, animals, and other dead bodies.)

Birdo: "EEEEW it smells gross in here!"

(As she walked in further she could hear an animal screaming then the noise was stopped. Birdo continued in further. She was still in the stalagmite area and the cave was getting smaller and smaller, and fewer and fewer stalagmites. She turned a corner of a wall that had sharp edges on it. And behind that wall... WAS YOSHISAURUS MUNCHAKOOPAS!)

Birdo: "YOSHI!"

(Yoshi looked at her and growled. He was clearly possessed this time. He was on all 4's and had something in his hands... a... dead squirrel? He picked up the squirrel and threw it against the wall.)

Yoshi: "GROOOWOOOW! GRRRRRR! HISS!"

(Birdo looked at his eyes. They were glowing completely red. The light shined up the cave even more than Birdo's lights around her neck. His eyes were bright!)

Birdo: "Yoshi. Please! This isn't you! Yoshi a sugar egg!"

(Yoshi charged at Birdo and she fell to the right to dodge him. She noticed something red was dripping from his mouth.)

Birdo: "Is that... blood? WAS HE EATING THAT POOR SQUIRREL!? GROSS!"

(Yoshi turned around and tried to claw Birdo. Birdo grabbed his hand and Yoshi used his other hand and cut Birdo on her left cheek aiming for her eye.)

Yoshi: "HAAAAAACK! HISSSSS!"

Birdo: "OOOW! Wait... Can't do hand to hand combat."

(Birdo kicked him in his belly with her claws scratching him. Birdo waited for him to attack her again and she ducked and got under his legs then tripped him over. Yoshi fell on his back.)

Birdo: "I so sorry sugar egg! I gonna save you it ok! You be Yoshi again soon!"

(Birdo reached down and grabbed his tail and started to swing him around and around. But Yoshi used his tongue and grabbed a stalagmite and pulled his self away from Birdo. Then he came back and ran at her.)

Birdo: "If he charges turn around."

(Yoshi ran at Birdo as she stuck up her tail. Yoshi clawed it just as planned and sure enough. It snapped off and fidgeted slapping Yoshi many times in the face.)

Birdo: "Now my chance!"

(Birdo used her tongue and grabbed Yoshi by his chest. She pulled him and threw him to the ground with her tongue. Yoshi tried to use his tongue to get her, But Birdo's was longer and he couldn't reach!)

Yoshi: "GRRRRRRR!"

(Biro sucked up air when Yoshi tried to stand blowing him back to the ground. Every time Yoshi tried to stand up she would blow him back to the ground. Yoshi soon ran out of breath and got on all fours and waited for Birdo's attack. Birdo spat an egg at him and Yoshi threw an egg at her egg smashing it. Birdo used this as a trick! A stalagmite above head was hit by Yoshi's egg and fell. Birdo pretended to run and Yoshi tried to chase her. He was hit by the stalagmite.)

Birdo: "GOTCHA!"

Yoshi: "GR... g... gah..."

(Yoshi passed out.)

Birdo: "Yes... Got him... It's over... It's all... over... Yoshi... safe now... You gonna live! It's ok sugar egg... I gonna... save... you..."

(Birdo walked up to Yoshi and took out the syringe)

Birdo: "I sorry... I did... this... Yoshi... But... hopefully... Yoshi be... happy now that the baby... will... live... I so... sorry Yoshi."

(Birdo walked up to him and put the syringe on his arm. As she was about to press down though a bullet was shot out of no where knocking the syringe against the wall and the cure was poured all over the floor.)

Birdo: "What!?"

Kemmy: "You didn't think it would be that easy did you!?"

(Kemmy appeared walking through the wall)

Birdo: "KEMMY!"

Kemmy: "HEHEHE! Did you really think you could save Yoshi with that stupid cure!? No we couldn't dream of letting him go that easily! We have far more damage we need to have him do so we can blame it on Kunyay before we... say KILL HIM! No we're never gonna let you have Yoshi back!"

Birdo: "Think that gonna stop us!?"

(Birdo shot an egg at Kemmy, Kemmy dodged it and picked up the stalagmite that fell and threw it at Birdo's belly causing Birdo to fall on the ground)

Birdo: "NO MY BABY!"

Kemmy: "That's not all you're gonna lose! If that didn't kill the child THIS WILL!"

(Kemmy shot a dart at Yoshi which had some other liquid in it.)

Kemmy: "Remember those powers of Dr. Joy's? All the powers of all Yoshi's?"

Yoshi: "GRAAAAWAAAAAAAAARGH! ! ! !"

Birdo: "WHAT YOU GONNA DO!?"

(Yoshi stood up. His eyes flickered on and off.)

Kemmy: "Well those very same powers meant for good WILL NOW BE USED FOR EVIL! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

(Kemmy vanished through the wall. Yoshi's green color began to vanish along with the purple pokadots. He gritted his bloody teeth and clentched his fists as a new color began to overtake him.)

Yoshi: "RAAAAAAAAAAAAURRRRRRRGH! GAAAAAARGH!"

(Yoshi began to change into a rainbow color. all types of colors overcame him. Then he stomped the ground causing Birdo to fall and charged at Birdo!)