Chapter 5

March 24th, 1998

"Remus!" Hermione whispered aggressively as she tugged on his sleeve. "Can I speak to you outside?"

"Of course; I'll meet you out there in a moment, just let me tell Dora." He responded.

Hermione huffed impatiently, pacing back and forth as she waited outside of the burrow. She turned, hearing Remus approaching from the front of the house. "What's got you so worked up, Hermione?" he asked, concern flitting across his face.

"I stayed up reading that book last night but before I go in here and talk to the order, I need some questions answered that the book didn't address."

"Okay, I'll help as much as I can."

"Can a werewolf deny their mate? If they do, what happens?"

Remus blew out a breath before answering, "maybe?" he questioned. "To be honest Hermione, I've never heard of anyone denying their mate. Until Greyback left you here, I'd never even heard of mates separating once they knew about the other."

"The book doesn't mentioned anything about how the other partner feels. All it talks about is the werewolf finding his mate…but how does his mate feel? Do they get a choice or does the magic just make them fall for them?"

Remus chuckled, "Nothing forceful like that, Hermione. The magic will give a draw, make the mate intrigued or even interested, and um," he blushed, running his hand across the back of his neck sheepishly, "maybe some increased, ah, experience of feelings once the intimate bits happen."

She grunted in frustration. "I don't know what's happening to me. It's like I have no control over myself." She all but cried.

"Slow down, what do you mean? What happened?"

While she was apprehensive to tell Remus that Greyback had been just outside the wards last night, she needed to understand what was happening to her and if she'd be able to follow through with her plan. And so, she told him.

"I'm truly not sure how he's fighting it or why to be honest Hermione. As far as what you're feeling, it seems that his close proximity is waking up your wolf. I can tell you what that meant for me, but Hermione…there's no information about female wolves for obvious reasons."

"Can I control it? The urge to um, well be with him?" she stressed.

"Maybe for a few days at most, but even that is doubtful. If your wolf is taking over like that, she's set on what she wants. After a couple of days, that urge starts to calm down…it makes things, typically daily life more manageable if you continue to see them."

She groaned; she wanted to contribute to the Order before she couldn't any longer. She needed to feel like she was leaving them in a better place…if she couldn't, well, he death would truly be for nothing.

"Thank you Remus, I'll see you inside in a few minutes."

"Hermione, what are you planning? Let me help you. You may be his mate, but he's a dangerous man, Hermione. He has done vile, atrocious things in the name of the Dark Lord."

"I know, Remus but I…I have to help Harry since I won't be here for him."

"No you don't, Hermione. No one will blame you for spending your last few weeks with the people you love, making good memories, and enjoying life."

"As nice as that sounds, it won't mean anything if everyone is dead at the end of this and if I can help even a fraction, I need to try."

*Break*

"Order! Order!" Minerva shouted over the currently screaming adults in the room. With a flick of her wrist and a boom running through the room, every adult closed their mouth. "Now that I have everyone's attention, we are going to talk through this…proposal, like rationale adults. Anyone who would like to speak, can raise their wand and wait for their turn. Molly, you look like you're about to burst, so why don't we let you start."

"She absolutely cannot be allowed to do this! It's a ridiculous idea, she's only got two weeks left with us as it is and she'd be gone almost all of it if we allow her to do this. She's child!" Molly burst out.

"She, is right here." Hermione grumbled, "I'll also remind you that I'm 18, above my majority, and I've been fighting Riddle for my entire actual childhood." Molly's shoulders slumped slightly at Hermione's response to her concern.

"Remus, you're up next." Minerva said with a wave towards him.

"This is ludicrous, Hermione. We just spoke about this outside…you have no idea what you'd be walking into. You have no idea if he'd hurt you, take you to Him, other death eaters, or keep you captive until the full moon."

"Remus, you know as well as I do that from everything we know about werewolves, Greyback is not going to hurt me or turn me over. He may keep me captive, but it's a risk I'm willing to take. I know he's dangerous; I know I'm walking into something we don't have information on…that's rather the point in all of this. You'll never be able to get close to a pack again after he banned you. We need this information and you know it." Hermione said to him, a sad smile on her face.

"So you're just going to leave us then?" Ron asked from his space in the corner. "After just getting you back and only having days left, you're just going to leave?"

Her heart clenched, she knew he was going to have a problem with this. Hell, she had a problem with this, but she had to try to help.

"I don't want to leave you, Ronald. I just…" she turned her head towards Harry, who had barely spoken any words to her since she returned, "I need to help you. I can't die.." she took a deep breath, her eyes welling up with tears that threatened to overflow, "I can't die knowing that I didn't do everything in my power to help keep those I love alive and to help end this."

The room was silent but for Molly's quiet sobs as Arthur rubbed his hand up and down her back.

"Well then, seems like that's decided. What do you need from us, Hermione?" Harry said, a small smile tugging at his lips. Hermione opened her mouth to say thank you for the support but choked on her tears. In a flash, Harry was by her side with his arms tightly wrapped around her. "Sorry." He said into her shoulder. "S'okay" she mumbled back.

*Break*

March 26th, 1998

Hermione leaned up against the shed, watching the couple gardening together in their backyard as the ginger cat weaved in between the man's legs. She sniffled, moving her hand quickly to wipe the offending tears from her face. With one last longing look towards her parents, she said a silent goodbye, as she felt the familiar tug behind her navel.

She landed just outside the wards of the burrow and gave a sob as her knees connected with the dirt. She tried to calm herself down but couldn't quite catch her breath, her body continuing to be wracked with sobs.

This is it. Yesterday I said goodbye to everyone I could, today I said goodbye to them. This isn't fair, I'm only 18…all of this fighting, it was supposed to have a purpose, it was supposed to be for me to make a better life for everyone…..why can't everyone include me?

She sat there, in the tall grass behind the burrow until her sobbing subsided, her eyes ran out of tears and the deep, gut wrenching sadness left her numb.