AN: Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the kind words and reassurances. It really, really helped, and I can't express how much I appreciate you all reading my stories, whether you feel the need to leave a review or not. So thank you, and happy holidays to you all.

Also, I promise we're getting to Soulless Sam soon. I just have to get Jessie away from Lisa's house. Can't just wave my magic wand and move us there because then you'd miss all the trouble she manages to get in between now and then. That would be sad. And come on, you guys know Dean, he'd never take her with him when he can keep her safe and wrapped in bubble wrap. ;)

And many thanks to WaywardDaughter18 for beta-ing my chapters so I have fewer typos and more expansion on important parts. :)

I woke up hours later, my headache down to a dull ache in the back of my skull and behind my eyes, but it was bearable. I just wouldn't be able to light fires today. When I came down the stairs, Ben was setting up his PlayStation on the television in the living room. I waved at him from the doorway. He stopped what he was doing and looked up at me.

"Dean's gone," he told me.

"Yeah," I responded. "I was up when he left." We looked at each other for a second. "So…" I said. "You wanna go check out the neighborhood?"

His face lit up. "You think Mom will let us?"

I grinned at him. "Yeah, I do."

He leapt to his feet and went to find her. I went to the kitchen to see if there was anything to eat, but while I was peering into the fridge, my stomach turned. I was not hungry. Not at all. I stood there anyway, remembering Dean's insistence that I eat every meal and even snacks, but I didn't think I'd be able to keep it down today. Stupid headache.

I'd just shut the fridge door when Ben came pounding down the stairs with the biggest of smiles on his face, his eyes bright. "She said yes," he practically squealed.

I laughed. "Let's go then."

Ben's bike was still parked next to the stairs from when we moved in, but my skateboard was in the coat closet already. I fetched it, leaving my helmet and safety pads behind. Dean wasn't here and Lisa didn't monitor my every move. Plus it was summer and hot, and I didn't want my hair all sweaty.

We headed out to the road and Ben climbed on his bike, looking back at me. "You can't keep up with me on that thing," he told me.

"I know," I said, "but I can hold onto your seat and you can pull me with you…" I gave him a mischievous look. He nodded and off we went.

You might not think that riding through a neighborhood was very exciting, but after basically being on super-secret lockdown since the djinn had attacked, it was great to be out and about. Ben's speed kept the breeze blowing over us, my loose hair flowing out behind me. I raised my head and laughed.

We circled our block first, then another and another. The houses in this neighborhood didn't really look like each other too much, not like they did in a lot of other subdivisions, and after about 10 minutes of riding next to Ben, I actually started looking at them.

It was the middle of the day, so most of the driveways were empty. Some of the houses had columns in front of them and others looked like bungalows. I didn't know cars very well, but for the few houses that had a car in the driveway, it tended to be a minivan, indicating that most likely there was a stay-at-home parent there with some kids. Other houses had service vans or trucks parked in front of them, plumbing, contractors, electricians, and the like. I stopped really paying attention to what we were passing and just enjoyed being out again.

But then I saw something strange.

We were about five blocks away from home and speeding down the road at a speed that was making my skateboard shimmy under me when I saw a white van with a rust spot on the driver's back side panel in a driveway. We were turning a corner by the time I'd processed what I saw and I immediately let go of Ben's seat, trying to bring the speeding skateboard to a stop.

I screwed it up.

The skateboard went flying out from under my Vans and I fell backwards off it, falling hard on my butt and elbows and scraping the crap out of myself. I sat there in the middle of the road, trying to recover from the shock of the fall when I saw Ben coming back towards me on his bike, my skateboard on his handlebars.

"Shit, Jessie! Are you okay?" he asked, stopping his bike next to me.

"I'll live," I said as I struggled to my feet.

His eyes widened as he looked me over, and he shook his head. "You're all scraped up. I should take you home."

I rolled my eyes, ignoring how I was shaking and the pain in my legs and elbows. "I'm fine."

"You're bleeding."

"Then I'll BE fine," I snapped at him and looked down the road. "I saw something."

Ben turned to look where I was looking, his lips pressed together in concern. After all the fuss Dean had put us through, we were both on high alert despite ourselves. "What'd you see?"

I didn't answer, but I took my skateboard from him and walked back down the road to the white van. Ben followed, pushing his bike. "Jessie, what is it?" he asked.

"I saw a white van back in Sid and Carol's driveway when we were leaving and it had a weird bird-shaped rust spot on the back of it. I think I just saw it again."

Ben dropped into silence then, and I wondered if his stomach was roiling the way mine was. I slowed as we reached the house, paying more attention than I had been. The house had a For Sale sign in front of it and the blinds were closed on the windows at the front of the house. The van had a magnetic sign on the passenger door that read Winter and Son's Electricians.

We crossed behind the van and I noticed the rust-pocked bumper that looked so similar to the one I'd seen in Cicero. Then I turned and sucked in my breath when I saw the same bird-shaped rust spot.

I felt the blood drain from my face and I turned to look at Ben. "That's it," I whispered. "That's the exact same pattern in the exact same spot."

Ben grabbed me, his face white. "Really?"

"Really," I assured him in the same whisper. I looked up at the house again and thought I saw one of the blinds move. "We need to get out of here now."

Ben nodded and climbed onto the bike. I put my skateboard on the ground and climbed on, grabbing the back of his bike seat. He took off without a word and headed straight home. By unspoken agreement, we ended up in the garage where he parked his bike against the wall and we stood opposite each other. I had my arms crossed over my chest and he'd shoved his hands into his jeans pockets.

"We have to tell Mom," Ben started. "If you know that's the same van…"

My heart was pounding and I scraped my teeth across my bottom lip while I thought. "I mean," I started. "I'm not sure, not sure-sure anyway. I didn't check the license plate either time…" I looked at Ben, my eyebrows drawing together. "But how likely is it that a white van would have the same rust spot in the same place?"

Ben looked off behind me to think, as if the answer was somewhere among the toolboxes and auto parts there. "It can't be that likely," he said.

I pressed my lips together, rolling them inward so I could bite down on them. "If we tell Lisa, then she'll have us back under lockdown," I said. "If we don't tell her… well… I can maybe sneak over there and see if they are actually electricians or if they're something else."

Ben huffed. "I don't think you should do that," he told me. He turned to look at the house. "But I don't think we should tell Mom either. You'll just freak her out, and she told me Dean left her prepared to protect us if something goes wrong."

I followed his gaze to the house. "I probably need to tell Dad though, when he gets back." I looked back at Ben.

He nodded, grimacing. "He'll definitely put us back on lockdown."

I sighed. "Yeah, but he can take care of the problem. If it is a problem."

Ben's gaze returned to me, darting down to my elbows. "You're still bleeding," he told me.

I looked down at myself, dropping my arms and twisting them to look at the damage. The scrapes were deep and went from above my elbows to about a third of the way down my forearms. As if they were just waiting for me to notice them, they started throbbing with pain. "Wow," I said. "I'm gonna have to hide these."

"Yeah, or Mom will bust you for not wearing your elbow pads."

I snorted. "I'm surprised you're not telling on me with all the trouble we've gotten into."

Ben shrugged. "This isn't like driving Dean's car or trying to cast some spell in Kara's basement," he pointed out.

"True," I said and turned around. "How are my legs?" I was wearing shorts and my thighs had started throbbing about the same as my elbows.

Ben sucked in his breath. "A little better than your elbows, but not much."

I dropped my head. "I guess it's long sleeves and jeans for awhile." I looked at the house again. "Let's see if we can get in the house without your mom seeing us. If we can, will you help me clean these up and bandage them?" My thoughts went to Sam and Dean fussing at me about taking care of myself when Drake had been teaching me how to drop into his little half-pipe and I'd scraped up my hands and wrists.

"Sure," Ben agreed.

We tried, but we were foiled right away. The back door hinges squeaked and Lisa came down the stairs to greet us. I shoved my hands behind my back to try to hide my injuries from her, and Ben tried to distract her by answering her questions about how our explorations had gone while I tried to sneak up the stairs. But Lisa turned at the wrong time and gasped. I jumped, startled, and almost slipped on the stairs.

"What happened to you?" Lisa demanded. "Get back down here!"

"She's okay, Mom," Ben tried as I descended the stairs, my face red. "She just fell off her skateboard when we were turning a corner."

When I reached the bottom of the stairs, Lisa took my upper arm lightly and turned me around so she could see the damage. "When you turned the corner? She was keeping up with you on her skateboard?"

Ben and I met each other's eyes in panic. "Uh…" Ben said.

Lisa dropped my arm and speared her son with a look. "Spill it," she said.

"I was holding onto his seat. He was pulling me," I said before Ben could say anything.

Lisa shook her head. "Of course you were," she muttered. She turned me back around then and met my eyes. "And where's your safety equipment, huh?"

I grimaced, my face turning redder as I answered in a near whisper. "In the coat closet."

Lisa closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep, calming breath, the kind I was sure she took when she was teaching her yoga classes to center herself. I was pretty sure that this time, she was doing it to gather patience.

"Your dad has been gone less than a day and you're already breaking your rules," she said to me, opening her eyes.

"I'm sorry," I offered.

"Are you testing me, Jessie Winchester? Because you may think I'm a pushover, but I'm not," she scolded.

"I'm not, I swear," I said. "I just… I don't know. It's hot outside and all that stuff makes it worse."

"You could've cracked your head open instead of just scraping yourself up, you know," she informed me. "Especially since Ben was pulling you after him on his bike." She turned to give him a look. Then she turned back to me. "And you were out there skating in shorts too?"

"Lisa, it was hot," I whined.

"New rule," she said. "No skating without pants. I mean it. And since you can't be bothered to follow the rules about your safety equipment, you're grounded from your skateboard for a week."

"Lisa!" I objected. "Noooo, please?"

"Yes," she said, then turned to Ben. "No more pulling her behind you on your bike," she told him. "Or both of you will be in trouble."

He looked ashamed and ran a hand up and down his arm. "I won't," he said.

"Now you get upstairs into the bathroom. I'll be in there in a minute to clean and bandage you," she said, shaking her head. "I swear, the two of you…"

I didn't wait to hear anything else she had to say. I just ran up the stairs before she decided to add anything more to her proclamations. As far as I knew, Dean was the only one who spanked me and Lisa was the only one who spanked Ben, but I didn't want to tempt fate. If she'd been Sam, I'd be going over her knee as soon as she got me bandaged up.

That's not what happened though. Instead she told me she wanted me to take it easy for the rest of the day, so I was relegated to unpacking boxes for her while she and Ben put away the stuff in the boxes. We listened to music and spent a lot of time laughing and goofing around. It was actually a really nice change from the heavy atmosphere of the last few weeks.

The next day, Ben went out for another bike ride after breakfast. Since I was grounded from my skateboard, I stayed home to finish unpacking my room, but I asked him to ride by that house again to see if the van was still there. He promised he would.

It was just after noon when I heard someone pass my closed door. I stopped flipping through the book I'd just unpacked and opened the door in time to see Dean's head disappearing as he descended the stairs. I hadn't even known he'd gotten home! Figuring I'd surprise him, I slipped down the hall after him, coming down the stairs as quietly as I could. I could hear Lisa and Dean's voices as I descended but couldn't make out what they were saying until I was nearer to the bottom.

But then I stopped cold on the bottom step.

Dean was in the middle of explaining to Lisa that he didn't know what the safest thing was to do, stay here or go off hunting with Sam, and that how he'd been acting wasn't who he was. He was acting like his dad and it was scaring him. Lisa told him that she didn't know either, but she did know that he was a hunter and with his brother back from hell, she also knew Dean didn't want to be here.

I stepped off the bottom step and turned, looking into the kitchen. Lisa and Dean were standing in front of the breakfast bar. His shoulders were tight and his head was tilted. Lisa was looking at him, and even though I knew she could probably see me in her peripheral vision, she was so focused on Dean that she didn't notice me. With a hand on the stair post, I ran one foot up the back of the other leg and bit my lip.

Dean told Lisa that he did want to be here, and Lisa responded that maybe he did, but he also wanted to be out there, hunting. She told him that she wasn't going to discuss this every time he left, so she needed him to go.

Dean told her quickly that he couldn't just lose her and Ben, hiding the involuntary soft gasp I made. Lisa said that if there was a rule about how it had to be either/or, they should break that rule. She and Ben would be here and he could come when he could. Dean asked if they could make that work and she said that it was worth a shot.

My stomach dropped like a stone, hurt and panic rushing down my limbs. Lisa didn't want me there? Tears overflowed my bottom lids and I couldn't keep silent anymore. "What about me?" I blurted out. Lisa's head whipped towards me as she saw me at last. Dean turned almost as quickly.

"I told you to stop eavesdropping," Dean said, but he didn't sound mad, just tired.

"I wasn't, but who cares?" I snapped back, unable to stop the the tears dripping down my cheeks despite my efforts. My voice started shaking and my lower lip trembled involuntarily. "You're gonna go, Lisa and Ben are going to stay here! What about me?"

Lisa looked at Dean, who was still watching me. "It's up to your dad, sweetie. You can stay here as long as you want as far as I'm concerned," Lisa said.

My eyes shot to her and then back to Dean, who crossed the distance between us and knelt on one knee in front of me, pulling me into his arms. "Jessie, I'm not letting you go hunting again, not if I can help it. You're staying here."

The answer both soothed me and scared me. I loved living with Lisa and Ben and I didn't want to go off hunting again, but I also didn't want Dean to leave. I hit his shoulders with my fists, not too hard, but hard enough. "But you're gonna go? How often am I gonna see you?"

"That's gonna depend on the hunt, sweetheart," Dean answered, brushing a stray piece of hair out of my eyes.

"That's not fair!" I wailed, throwing myself into his arms.

His voice hardened even as his arms closed around me. "You're not coming hunting with me, Jessie. Not when you have a safe place you can stay."

"How is this place any safer than any other place?" I demanded, pushing away from him again. "You were just saying you didn't even know…"

Dean cut me off. "You're staying here, little girl," he ordered. Then he looked into my eyes and his voice softened again. "I need you to stay here."

I wailed then and he hugged me closer to him. Right then, the back door opened and Ben came in. "What's going on?"

Lisa explained everything to him while I cried onto Dean's shirt with huge gasping sobs. The next thing I knew, Ben was there with me, hugging Dean and me at the same time.

Eventually I got myself under control, but I wasn't letting Dean out of my sight. I followed along after him while he packed up his stuff to go on the road. He kept telling me it would be okay, that Lisa would take care of me, that he'd be back as often as he could, that I could call him as much as I wanted, but it didn't help. I didn't say much to him in response.

He'd just started packing his duffel when Ben showed up at the door of the bedroom. "Psst, Jessie?" he hissed at me and waved to me to go over to him.

Dean chuckled, not raising his eyes as he dug through his duffel to make sure he got everything. "I can hear you, Ben."

Rolling my eyes, I hopped off the side of the bed and Ben made me move away from the door. Once we were far enough down the hall that he thought Dean wouldn't be able to hear, he whispered, "The white van wasn't at that house anymore."

My eyes widened. The fact that Dean was leaving had pushed all thoughts of that stupid van out of my brain. "It's not?"

Ben shook his head, eyes earnest. "And I rode around trying to find it, but I couldn't. I think it's gone. Maybe it's gone?" he looked hopeful. I pressed my lips together in doubt.

Just then, Dean came out of his bedroom with his duffel flung over his shoulder. "What white van?" he asked with a frown, his eyes flicking between us. "What trouble are you two getting in now?" I glanced at Ben, who looked guilty, and sighed.

"I was going to tell you," I said. "But the whole you abandoning me thing kinda kicked it out of my thoughts." It probably wasn't the best thing to say, but it just fell out of my mouth.

"For the fiftieth time, Jessie," Dean said, rolling his eyes. "I'm not abandoning you. Now what white van?"

I explained then, telling him about what we found and where, and how unlikely it was that a van with that exact same rust spot was both in Cicero and in Battle Creek. Dean frowned.

"I looked up both company names," I explained. "And they are real companies, but what if something is following us and just using real company names to throw us off?" I looked up into his green eyes and he looked as worried as I felt.

He sighed. "If both companies bought it from somewhere that was selling their fleet of vans, then there could have been a sticker there, and that's why there's rust now. It would also explain why you saw two of them." His eyes went far away while he thought.

I stood in silence, chewing on my lip, and took a step closer to Ben so our shoulders were touching.

After a few moments, Dean's eyes sharpened again and he leveled a look at me. "This better not be some half-cocked scheme to get me to stay or to get me to take you with me."

I shook my head earnestly. "No, Dad. I swear."

"All right," he said, closing the distance between us and putting a hand on my shoulder. "Let's drive around and see if we can find that van."

Dean told Lisa what was up, and she gave us an earful for not telling her earlier. Then Dean, Ben, and I climbed into his truck. We drove around, up and down neighborhood streets looking for the van, but there really was no sign of it. My stomach started to hurt with worry, both because I knew that van was bad news and because I didn't want Dean to think I was trying to manipulate him. While we drove, Dean had Ben look up the number for the company on Dean's phone so Dean could call them.

He spoke to someone at the company for a few minutes, verifying that the van was supposed to be in the area working on some electrical problems in a house that was for sale. The company told Dean the address, and it turned out to be the same address where we saw it and the date of service was yesterday.

After an hour of driving around, Dean took us back home. "That settles it, then," Dean said as we got out of his truck. "Nothing to worry about."

Ben looked relieved, but I balled my fists up as we headed towards the front door. "Dad, I know there's something off here."

Dean's face softened with sympathy. He stopped in front of the door and looked down at me. "Jessie, I'm going."

"But we saw the van before you were going," I insisted. "I'm not lying! I'm not trying to keep you here, even though that's everything I want in the world."

"I know you're not lying, sweetheart, but I also know you're not thinking straight right now," he started.

I stomped my foot. "The hell I'm not," I hissed. "You're just ignoring it because you want to get out of here so bad!"

Dean reached for me, and I expected him to swat me a couple of times for my mini-tantrum, but instead he pulled me into his arms again. "Jessie, you're going to be okay. This is a dead end. You're worrying for nothing. I love you, and I'll come back as often as I can to see you. I promise."

Ben slipped past us into the house while I cried on Dean's jacket shoulder. He didn't believe me and he was leaving, and everything was so screwed up!

Later that afternoon, Dean was ready to leave. The Impala was uncovered and shining in the afternoon sun. He'd filled his cooler and put it in the backseat. Now we all stood next to it awkwardly. Everyone knew I didn't want him to leave, which made this little goodbye ceremony more uncomfortable than it otherwise might have been.

My hands were shoved into my pockets and I stared at my feet on the driveway while Dean said goodbye to Lisa and Ben. He saved me for last, lifting my chin to look at him.

"There's a few things I need to tell you before I go," Dean said, letting go of my chin once I was meeting his eyes..

I resisted the urge to drop my head again. "Okay," I whispered.

"First, the next time you go riding around on your skateboard without your safety equipment, I'll spank you when I get back into town, you get me?"

I gasped. I'd been wearing long sleeves and my baggiest jeans today to hide the damage I'd done yesterday. I guessed Lisa had told him.

"Answer me, kiddo," he encouraged me.

"Yes, Dad," I whispered.

"Now that we've got that cleared up, since I don't know how long I'm going to be out there, I told Lisa that she's allowed to punish you any way she sees fit, even if that's a spanking."

"Dad!" I burst out, both embarrassed and horrified.

He didn't let up though. "I know Lisa was in charge of Ben's punishments before and I was in charge of yours."

"Yeah, unless you were tag teaming us with lectures," I spat out, interrupting him.

He continued like I hadn't said anything. "But that's the way it's going to be from now on."

I swallowed and glanced at Lisa. She met my eyes and raised her brows. I looked back up at Dean. "So if she punishes me, are you gonna do it again when you get home?" I demanded. "I mean, aside from the skateboard thing?"

"Depends on why you were in trouble," Dean said.

I huffed. "That's double jeopardy!" I objected.

"This is not a courtroom, little girl. You don't get to argue with me about it. You used to get punished by Sam and me, too. It's the same thing."

I sighed and let it go. It wasn't worth fighting over, not with him leaving. "Fine, whatever," I mumbled, dropping my head again.

He knelt down again and pulled me into his arms. "I love you, sweetheart. You be good and call me any time. I mean it."

I snuggled my nose into the space between his neck and shoulder and felt tears fall from my eyes. "I love you too, Daddy."

He got up then and kissed me on top of the head. Then he kissed Ben's head and gave Lisa a really long kiss before he opened the Impala's door. "I love you," he told all three of us.

He got in the car and drove down the driveway. I wasn't going to, but in the end, I couldn't help it. I chased the Impala down the driveway and watched it until it turned the corner so I couldn't see it anymore, my stomach churning with grief, my heart literally aching.

I turned then and trudged back to Lisa, who had her arm around Ben and her other arm held out to welcome me into it.

"I think we could all use a little ice cream," Lisa said, her voice sad, and she led us into the house.

I knew I wouldn't be able to eat mine.