Chapter 22: The Rules of the Game
Yana vanished in November. She went to town to buy some groceries at the farmer's market and did not come back. It took hours to determine that she was not in the area and days to realize that she was nowhere to be found in general. I will spare you the detective story; it is irrelevant to the tale at hand. What Lorca felt and experienced as the futile search went on, well, I will leave out most of those impressions too.
Two months passed. Burnham figured Yana had gone back to the Y Interface somehow. Considering how often Yana joked about Ys and Qs having a poor sense of time, perhaps she'd only remember her friends 930 years later. Lorca refused to believe that. Burnham and Saru discussed the matter and finally decided to take Lorca onboard Discovery, since he was extremely depressed and might try to harm himself.
They beamed down one winter day, along with Tilly and Bryce. They took Bryce along to try and cheer up Lorca with his new trick. Probably as a consequence of traveling the mycelial network, three of Discovery's officers developed "powers." Bryce and an ensign could do telekinesis while a lieutenant could do mind melds. Stamets analyzed their genes for similarity to tardigrade DNA or something, but he never found a reason for these powers, which faded with time anyway.
Lorca prepared some tea and cookies and they sat in the living room, chatting about nothing much. Bryce showed off his ability. He placed a beer bottle in the center of the table and levitated out the liquid. Slowly, slowly, he moved the burbling ball closer to his face and gently drank from a protrusion. Most of the time, this ended in a sticky wet mess, but for his old captain he got it right.[1] Lorca clapped but didn't laugh.
"So how are you really?" Asked Tilly suddenly.
Lorca just ignored her and went to get some lemon bread from the kitchen. Burnham scanned the house for phasers, then electronics in general. She excused herself and checked a few locations from the scan. Naturally, Lorca had a handful of hidden chip-less phasers. She took them out and wordlessly put them in a bag so he could see.
"Gabriel," said Saru, who could finally use Lorca's first name, "we did not just come here to talk and eat. We are actually very busy with the Orion piracy problem but we felt it was important to come here."
"What is this, another intervention?" Asked Lorca. "For crap's sake, I'm nobody now. I'm not drinking myself to death or leading people to their doom. What do you want?"
"We're afraid that you might kill yourself or one of those people from the farmer's market," said Burnham, not beating around the bush any longer. "You've acquired three restraining orders from those farmers since Yana vanished. There is absolutely no evidence to suggest they harmed her. You searched their homes and threatened them. No, you're not a captain anymore, but you're still dangerous to people."
"There is something off about the beekeeper," insisted Lorca. "I suspect he's in cahoots with the same Orion pirates you're chasing. I just need proof."
"No, no, no, enough crazy talk!" Said Burnham. "You can't stay here anymore. This place, where you two were so happy, is driving you insane. We want you to come with us and be our new…"
She paused for a rather long time before saying, "Ship's counselor."
At the end of the day, what other job could Lorca do? They could put him in security, where he started his career, but it seemed demeaning and he couldn't be trusted to do a full-time job. Ship's counselors on the other hand, had flexible schedules and were often batty weirdoes.
"Are you high?" Asked Lorca.
"I had my reservations too," said Saru. "However, you have decades of experience and the admiration of our crew, so I believe this will be an adequate arrangement."
"Come on, I can already hear everybody calling you Counselor Lorca!" Said Tilly. "It'll be great, like old times!"
"It will never be like old times," muttered Lorca.
"You're going to end up in jail if you keep terrorizing these innocent farmers," said Burnham.
"A ship's counselor is supposed to be calm and composed," said Lorca. "I'm barely keeping it together. How can I possibly do this job?"
Saru and Burnham exchanged incredulous glances.
"You could barely keep it together when you commanded Discovery!" Exclaimed Burnham. "You pointed a phaser in my face when we confronted you!"
"I always think of a ship's counselor as more of a ship's mascot," said Tilly, trying to be reassuring. "You know, you just put on the big animal outfit during a game and wave your arms around and act like you care."
Lorca gave her his most evil look and she squeaked, realizing she'd offended him. Lorca looked at Bryce and they communicated without words, for Bryce levitated more beer out of a bottle and held it over Tilly's head.
"No, this will really mess up my hair!" She cried.
Lorca nodded at Bryce and the sphere of beer started to move back toward the bottle, but here Bryce lost control and it spilled on the lemon cake. That didn't taste too bad, though.
And Lorca accepted their offer.
Events progressed pretty much the way Burnham and Saru expected (until they didn't). Lorca showed up on the bridge whenever he felt like it, certainly not as much as Deanna Troi because he didn't have a console or a chair. He held "office hours" every day, though he couldn't be relied upon to be in his office (Conference Room B, which still smelled a little, somehow). He sometimes helped people with combat training, target practice, or battle simulations. One day he and Burnham finally faced off against each other. They were supposed to only use Vulcan martial arts, in which case Burnham would have won, but Lorca had Tilly throw him a phaser and put it to Burnham's head right at the end.
"Expect the unexpected," he said, while she protested that this was cheating.
In some ways, the crew acted more like his counselor than he theirs. They kept him occupied and consoled him when necessary. One time he promised to help Detmer practice her combat skills but didn't show up. She found him sobbing in his room and sat with him for an hour. Nobody resented these irregularities or thought that he was a sad, broken has-been. Most people believed, or at least convincing said they believed, that if he chose he could return to the bridge and be a captain again. Well then, only in the Federation.
Naturally, Lorca lost even the slightest motivation to mess around with Lorca50, who had the wisdom to understand that. Lorca50 had helped his counterpart search the farmer's houses and the entire area around the town of Wynding Way.[2] On Discovery, Lorca let the ghost hang around. Lorca50 was a lot less quarrelsome now and even he provided some distraction from the dark thoughts that always plagued Lorca. Lorca50 tried to be amusing sometimes, for lack of anything better to do. Lorca stopped asking him questions about morals and love so at times, he was almost tricked into believing the ghost was truly nice and affectionate.
One day Lorca entered his room and the ghost was knitting. Lorca just didn't know what to say. Lorca50 held up the fruit of his labors: a woolen bikini.
"Owosekun was watching videos that teach knitting," said Lorca50. "I was hoping she'd take her clothes off but well, it's important to learn new skills too."
"Who is that for?" Asked Lorca about the woolen garment.
"I don't know, a sexy sheep?"
"Actually, you're right."
"About the sheep?"
"About learning new skills. You're always bragging that you know so many more moves than me. It's time for you to teach me. Once I find the motherfuckers who took Yana, I will take them apart piece by piece."
"Will you say that again? You looked so hot right now."
They went to the gym and Lorca spent hours being coached by the ghost. Since most people didn't know Lorca50 was real, the other gym users thought maybe they should get Dr. Pollard. At some point they realized Lorca had seemingly learned something new from the empty air and decided he had powers like Bryce and the others.
Lorca hung out with Stamets too and half-listened to the scientist's new research directions into mycelial genome editing. Lorca didn't see the difference between one moldy petri dish and another.
Such was the situation, six months after Yana vanished, when Lorca, Stamets, Burnham, and Saru also vanished.
Yana woke up strapped to a chair, always a bad sign. She remembered taking the shortcut through the woods to her house. She thought she saw something glitter, and then a mild pain in her neck. She must have been tranquilized. She looked around the large room and immediately fixated on the setup in the center. A shimmering force field contained a man who resembled Hugh Culber and wore a black preacher's outfit with a white collar and bowler hat. We've seen him before—he was unhelpful when Stamets and Anderson were stuck in the mycelial network. In front of him was a small campfire, just like before.
Yana cursed in several languages.
"Well put," said Lorca0. "I'm take it you understand the situation?"
"Dad!" Yelled Yana, but she did not mistake Lorca0, with his long black cloak, for her father for an instant. Lorca51 and the others lay off to the side. Saru began to stir. They were chained to the wall and had white collars around their necks.
"He's fine, for now," said Lorca0. "Let us wait for them to wake up so we're all on the same page."
Stamets0 sat at a console next to the force field surrounding the man in the hat. A table nearby was covered in various tablets, electrodes, and omnitools. Yana guessed the purpose of all of this and cursed again. Saru woke up completely and nudged the others. They came to their senses and looked around. Lorca51 spotted Yana and called out to her. They set up a minor hubbub that died down when Lorca0 pressed a button on a control pad and zapped Burnham through her collar.
"Agonizer collars," he said. "They take up less space than booths."
Burnham shook herself and said, "This is just my worst nightmare. Another Lorca!"
"Right, so I'm guessing we don't need introductions," said Lorca0. "You've already been to a parallel universe. This is not a major surprise."
"Yana, are you all right? Did he hurt you?" Insisted Lorca51.
"Not that I give a damn about your emotional suffering," said Lorca0, "but it's only been 30 minutes here. I'm still optimizing the time factor in inter-universal travel. Though, if my plan here today is successful, I won't need the spore drive at all anymore."
"Who is that guy?" Asked Stamets51 about the man in the hat. "What is going on here? Why do you need those—?"[3]
Lorca0 sighed and gave all four a nice long shock out of meanness.
"I will do most of the talking, thank you very much," he said. "Now, Yana, as you call yourself, please tell your friends what I have captive in the force field."
"You just said you'd do most of the talking," said Yana.
She also wore an agonizer collar so he gave her a shock.
"I've hardly slept since I found this guy," said Lorca0. "Forgive me for being sloppy with my banter! Now, tell them the truth."
Yana didn't say anything.
"Fine, then I'll give your friends a hint," said Lorca0. "This man, who looks like a deceased member of your crew as well as dozens of other crews, is an avatar of the Y Interface. He doesn't really have any powers. He's just a key, if you will, or a conduit. That campfire is a four-dimensional rendering of the true powers and memories of the Y Interface, that is, the 'thing' Yana lost when Sarek supposedly turned her into a human. But that's not what really happened, now, is it?"
"I didn't remember until now," muttered Yana.
"No doubt," said Lorca0. "Being in the proximity of the, let's just keep calling it campfire, must have stirred up some memories. You are the last part of the puzzle, I don't know, it doesn't make sense to call you the lock and I can't be bothered to come up with a good analogy. Anyway, if I could have accessed the campfire's powers without you I obviously would have by now."
"Yana, what didn't you remember?" Asked Burnham.
Lorca51 glared at Lorca50, who'd appeared a few minutes ago and stared at Lorca0 in surprise. A bit too many Lorcas in one room, I know.
"Can't the other Ys stop this?" Asked Stamets51.
"There are no other Ys," said Yana. "There used to be five of us but we had basically the same memories and experiences, so we combined into one for the…for the game."
Lorca0 waved at her to keep going.
"Yeah, it was a game. Or an experiment. We looked into the future and saw that Sarek would try to do a mind meld, but we didn't look any further! We decided the best way to study mortal beings would be to live as one of them, but to make it real we'd have to lose any hope of return to the Y Interface. So we created the Y avatar, who oversees the rules of the game, and separated ourselves from the rest of our powers when Sarek did the mind meld. The Y avatar was supposed to take the fucking campfire back to the Y Interface, why the fuck didn't you?!"
The Y avatar said some complete nonsense about parameters, queries, and if a then b.
"Oh brother," said Burnham. "It sounds like even as a higher dimensional being, she bungled her code."
"Lucky for me!" Said Lorca0. "I stumbled upon this fellow while exploring the mycelial network. He's extremely exasperating to talk to but Yana put no restraints on the information he can divulge, so I learned all about her little game. He helped me build a device that can contain the campfire!"
"So you have a spore drive?" Asked Stamets51.
"We stole it from the crew of Discovery in another universe," said Stamets0. "I made it small enough to fit in a shuttle and it uses rotating shields instead of rotating disks. Really saves space. We also have state-of-the-art cloaking technology, which is why you never detected us when we kidnapped you."
"I need to make sure my daughter is OK," said Lorca51. "Let me go to her!"
"She's sitting on a chair that weighs more than me," said Lorca0. "And her hands are free. Wave at him, won't you?"
Yana kept her hands limply in her lap.
"I think she's worried you're mad at her," whispered Lorca0. "I would be, considering what a stupid mistake she made with her upper-dimensional code, or whatever it is. But she's probably upset that you guys now know it was all a silly game!"
"It was not a game!" Said Yana. "It was designed so I would think it was real and it was real! You're my friends and I really like living with you. I don't want the Y powers. I just want to stay with you."
"Good, then hand them over!" Said Lorca0. "I'll gladly take the power of the Y Interface. Actually, you don't have a choice in the matter!"
"How do you intend to take her powers?" Asked Stamets51.
"We never doubted that you thought it was real," said Lorca51.
"Let's get to the matter at hand," said Lorca0. "Yana is the only one who can manipulate the campfire thing. I've created a connection to it. Try not to bungle the code this time. Once you're in, you will transfer the powers to me instead of you."
"What will you do with those powers?" Asked Burnham.
"Take over the Supraverse, of course," said Lorca0.
Lorca50, at a wordless insistence from Lorca51, had examined the area as much as his orbit allowed. Now he came back and told Lorca51 some things about this universe, such as its complete and total near-apocalyptic shit-state, compliments of King Lorca0.[4] Lorca51 told the others, not that they needed much convincing.
"Yana, I forbid you to transfer those powers to him," said Saru. "He is clearly a terrorist and a perpetrator of genocide."
"I'm not going to," said Yana.
Lorca0 subjected her friends to a lengthy agonizer treatment, such that all were on the floor by the end. Yana cried and trembled.
"Just look away!" Said Burnham, recovering first. "Let him kill us. The needs of the many, remember!"
"So I'll kill them," said Lorca0. "You get the picture. But never say that I am not generous! If you do this for me, I will spare you all and your stupid universe. I don't need that many universes, anyway."
He put a tablet in front of Yana. She took it.
"Yana, it's not worth it!" Said Lorca51. "We all die someday. I'm sorry it has to be today but we discussed this. I know you can make the right decision. Please, as Michael said, just look away and think of what a wonderful time we had together. I love you."
"How touching," said Lorca0. "But that's not the issue. Tell them Yana, what's another rule of your game?"
"You tell them, fuckwit," she said.
Lorca0 raised his hand over the control to shock her but then waved it off instead and said, "If Yana dies, the Y Interface becomes a free-for-all. Admittedly, it will take me time to unlock its powers. I'd rather have Yana do it quickly. Plus, during that time, the mysterious Qs might find out what I'm up to. Though I've never encountered them, the idea that these creatures are lords and masters of all space and time just pisses me off!"
Yana took the tablet and started typing. Burnham and Saru searched for a weakness in the collars or chains. Lorca50 sat down next to Lorca51, who suspected the ghost was about to say something stupid.
"These collars are just not sexy enough," said Lorca50, confirming those suspicions.[5] "He could have at least put some studs or bling on them, and made them look like leather. I should have come up with this in my universe, we would have used them for fun."
Lorca50 insisted Lorca51 ask Lorca0[6] why the collars were so un-sexy. "Ask him, ask him, ask him!" Nagged the ghost until Lorca51 did finally ask.
"Not sexy enough?" Said Lorca0. "That's not a complaint I've gotten so far about these collars."
Lorca50 walked around Lorca0. Obviously by now, this other counterpart of theirs could not see the ghost.
"The only way you'll get out of this is to seduce him," said Lorca50.
"He doesn't seem interested in me," said Lorca51.
"I refuse to believe it! I fell for you almost immediately. He's just playing it cool. You've got to hit on him. Come on, use your best pick up line."
"My daughter, not to mention the entire universe, is in danger. I don't have time for this. Go and look over their shoulders. Maybe you'll spot some weakness on those screens."
Lorca0 stared at Lorca51 while he talked to an empty spot and asked incredulously, "Is this normal for him?"
"Pretty much," said Stamets51.
Without mentioning that the hallucination was real, Lorca51 summarized his experience in the Terran Empire and his visions.
"I did some research on the other Lorcas to make sure none had similar plans to mine," said Lorca0. "Lorca50 had strong intellectual merits that you certainly lack, but his ridiculous, short-sighted, narcissistic, and overall pathetic infatuation with you doomed him. You're all failures in some way or other. You're by far the worst."
Lorca51 just shrugged but Lorca50 exclaimed, "Pathetic? My feelings are not pathetic!"
Yana and Stamets0 encountered some technical issue. Lorca0 smacked Stamets0 and shocked Yana but they couldn't fix it quickly. Lorca0 sat on a table, looked at the captives with interest and asked, "So do you want to hear my evil villain backstory?"
They all kind of muttered, "Nah, maybe not, some other time."
Too late. An hour and twenty minutes later, Yana and Stamets0 were done but Lorca0 rambled on about his exploits for another ten minutes.
Here's the gist: Universe 0 used to be a Terran Universe. Georgiou0's mother was Emperor. Georgiou grew up like a princess, albeit with combat and tactical instruction, until her mother decided to introduce her to the real world. Lorca0 was Georgiou's servant and classmate in the castle and Georgiou's secret friend, though her mother knew about it. On her 18th birthday, Georgiou's mother revealed that if her daughter wanted to become Emperor, she had to fight and kill her best friend. Georgiou stabbed Lorca0 lightly with a knife coated in tranquilizer during the battle so at least he'd survive, but he thought she would choose to be exiled with him. Assuming he was dead, he was thrown out and had a rough time for several years before he acquired followers, tech, and power. He never forgave Georgiou and waged war against the Terran Empire, eventually defeating it.
Lorca0 checked on Yana's progress. Lorca50 shook his head and said, "He's such a douche."
"You would be him if you were born here!" Said Lorca51.
"So would you."
"This conversation is getting us nowhere."
"Do you think he's straight? I'm getting a really straight vibe from him. I can't imagine a universe where I'm straight but what else can it be? Something's off about him."
Tilly0 came in to report that some rebels had tried to break past the planetary shield. She took care of them. Lorca50 walked around her.
"Ask her if they've slept together," he suggested.
Lorca51 sighed and decided he needed to distract Lorca0 from Yana because she probably had a plan to sabotage his program.
"Are you straight?" He asked.
Startled, Lorca0 looked up from the screen and said, "What? How is that relevant to anything?"
"Just answer the question!" Said Lorca51.
"I…no, not really," said Lorca0. "I haven't thought about it in a while."
"What do you mean, a while? Are you married to a woman or something? Are you married to her?" Asked Lorca51.
Tilly and Lorca0 looked shocked.
"No! I don't have time for that sort of stuff!" Said Lorca0.
"How can you not have time? How long has it been since you dated anyone, or just had a one-night stand?"
Lorca0 got asked this sort of stuff so rarely that he didn't consider lying, he just stammered something and then said it must have been eight years.
"What?" Said Lorca51 and Lorca50.
Lorca0 regained his composure and said, "Philandering is one of the reasons you and many other Lorcas didn't achieve anything worthwhile! I learned engineering, quantum mechanics, chemistry, biology! I conquered an entire universe! I defeated the Borg!"
"The what?" Asked Burnham.
"Exactly!" Said Lorca0. "I achieved all this through hard work and perseverance. What have you done?"
The question didn't require an answer and he turned back to his task. Lorca50 wandered over to the containment field, surprisingly couldn't get inside it, sat next to Lorca51 again and said, "I don't think you can seduce him. He probably doesn't remember how it works. Let me reiterate: he's just a big old douche."
"Yeah, I like you a lot more," said Lorca51.
"Aw, that's nicest thing you've ever said to me!"
Saru also suspected Yana was trying to sabotage the process and asked Lorca0 about the Borg. He'd used stolen Tholian technology on them, kind of like Hurgh'hov in Universe 51.[7]
"The problem with Borg tech," said Lorca0, "is its tendency to turn into a Borg again if you take your eyes off it."
He looked suspiciously at what everybody had taken for an old-fashioned coffee maker on a table in a corner. He didn't say anything more about it. Maybe it was a joke, but he hadn't made any good jokes thus far.
Yana indeed tried to sabotage the program, but Stamets0 caught it. Lorca0 threw a fit, whacked Yana, and shocked the captives. He threatened to kill a few of them but Yana begged him not to, apologized, cried a lot, and said she wouldn't be able to keep going anyway if one of her friends was dead.
Lorca51 shakily got up after the treatment he received and said, "Oh come on, she had to try it! Can't you appreciate a good plan?"
"It was an obvious plan," said Lorca0.
"Yeah, but you weren't the one who caught it," said Lorca51.
Lorca0 slowly approached his counterpart. Yana closed her eyes, not wanting to see what happened next. Lorca0 grabbed Lorca51 by the agonizer collar, smashed him into the wall, and proceeded to hit him a bunch of times. He paused for a bit and Lorca51 noticed the ghost making hand gestures that clearly meant, "Do me!" Sure, he said that frequently, but this time he meant…
"This has really turned me on," groaned Lorca51, trying to grin lasciviously despite the wounds to his face. "Do you have a whip? That would be soooo hot!"
Lorca0 made a vague sound of disgust and let Lorca51 drop to the floor.
"There is something seriously wrong with you," muttered Lorca0.
He yelled at Yana to keep working. Burnham and Saru had been sneakily working at the chains and managed to get out, but Tilly stunned them.
"One more strike and that's it," said Lorca0.
But Yana said she was done. Lorca51 and Stamets51 exchanged glances. Was this evil maniac really going to acquire the powers of a higher dimensional being? The hubris of it!
Lorca0 and Stamets0 checked Yana's program for a half hour, then Tilly did too. Finally they were satisfied. Lorca0 indicated for Tilly and Stamets0 to point phasers at the captives just in case and turned off the containment field around the campfire and Y Avatar.
"Initiate termination sequence Linden-Omicron-8," said Yana.
The Y Avatar looked a little surprised. He said, "Y, this is most unexpected." Or maybe he said "why", nobody bothered to ask.
It occurred to Burnham that Yana might try to trick Lorca0 with the names. Maybe she'd get the Y Avatar to transfer the powers to Lorca51. But it wasn't that easy. Lorca0 took the Y Avatar by the hand, a gesture that would have seemed touching if he wasn't a psychopath hell-bent on world domination. The captives looked frantically all over the room, trying to think of something, anything, to do.
"Before you acquire the dominion of the Y Interface," said the avatar, "you must answer one question. What is your intent for these powers?"
Lorca0 shuddered and a look of consternation crossed his face.
"Did you just dose me with some kind of truth serum? But why?" He asked.
Then he was compelled to answer the question: "I intend to take over the Supraverse, defeat the Qs and whoever else bothers me or stands in my way, until I have absolute power."
"Contradiction with Prime Directive," said the Y Avatar simply. "The Y Interface does not seek power but to restore and maintain. Request denied. Reverting to original protocol."
"Initiate sequence Williow-Theta-3!" Shouted Yana.
The Y Avatar teleported toward Yana and took her hand.
"It will take approximately ten minutes to restore you to the Y Interface," he said.
"Wait, what? I forgot about that," said Yana. "At least untie me from this chair!"
Lorca0 took a few moments to realize his plan had been thwarted simply because he was what he was, a power-hungry egomaniac. He looked murderous. The Y Avatar released Yana from the chair and collar but vanished before he could do anything else. Yana could vaguely sense what he was doing elsewhere, but indeed she couldn't access any of her powers yet.
Lorca0 chased after Yana, pissed as hell. He could not tolerate the thought that this kid defeated him, even if the kid was a trillion years old. Yana ran into a hallway. Lorca0 took out a sword handle. With a voice-activated command, a metal rod extended from the handle and became electrified with a red glow. Yana opened a door and ended up on a wide platform outside, high up above the city. She ran out onto a narrow walkway connecting the big platform to a small tower.
Meanwhile inside, an explosion sounded below the floor. It turned out that Tilly hadn't taken care of the rebels. They realized something big was going down and Lorca0 would be distracted. They'd been gathering intel on the planetary shield and his other defenses for months, getting ready for a raid. They created a distraction, a large drone-operated ship with fake life signs that attempted to break through the planetary shield. Tilly destroyed it but the rebels got in through a security point in the shield they had infiltrated and compromised earlier. They stormed Lorca0's palace.
Burnham0, Georgiou0 and their fellow rebels entered the room where the Y Avatar had been held. Lorca0's guards followed. Shooting and fighting ensued. Saru and Burnham51 escaped from their chains again and released Lorca51 and Stamets51. None of the rebels mistook the latter for their Universe 0 counterparts. Georgiou killed Stamets0 and Burnham0 took out Tilly. They made short work of Lorca0's remaining officers.
Outside, Lorca0 advanced on Yana. He took a swipe and almost cut off her hand. The Y Avatar estimated five more minutes before she could access her powers.
"I won't last five minutes!" She yelled. "Do it now!"
"It could cause significant brain damage and may affect your functionality in the Y Interface," said the avatar.
"I'm willing to take that risk!"
With a jolt, she regained enough power to conjure up a glowing white lightning bolt that she held in her bare hand. Lorca0 stepped back. Yana approached him and for a few moments, they battled on the narrow walkway, with flashes of red and white lightning. But Yana's weapon was much more powerful and she cut Lorca0's sword in half. He moved away from her, stumbled, and fell to his knees. Realizing he was in deep shit, he tried to smile pleasantly and reached out to her with one hand.
"Don't do this," he said. "You don't have it in you. You can't kill me."
Yana paused, thinking that the Federation did not condemn people to death.
Lorca0 sensed her falter and pleaded, "That's right, you're supposed to maintain and repair, not murder. You couldn't harm me, Yana, I am your f—…"[8]
Burnham0 shot him through the back of the head.
"You shouldn't have let him talk," she said.
She proceeded to phaser Lorca0's body into a pulp just in case he'd augmented himself with Borg technology and could come back to life, or whatever.
They went back into the big room. Before Lorca51 could rush over to Yana, Georgiou put a phaser to his head.
"We may have cut off the head of the snake," she said, "but this planet is crawling with his followers. You there, multidimensional girl, make yourself useful and deactivate all of their phasers, shuttles, starships, and the planetary shield."
"You really don't have to threaten anybody," said Yana and did as she was told.
"Don't I?" Said Georgiou. "It would be nice to live in such a world. I don't really have any high hopes for this one."
She pushed Lorca51 aside, muttering, "I liked the other one better." At first he thought she meant the villain, but later he learned of Lorca1's ill-fated journey into this universe.
Yana destroyed all equipment and data related to the containment field Lorca0 had created. It wouldn't be good if tech capable of trapping a Y got into the wrong hands. She went back outside onto the platform. She slid down the wall until she sat on the floor. Lorca51 found her there and sat next to her. She put her head on her knees and wouldn't look at him.
"Hey, kiddo, what's the matter?" He asked. "You defeated evil me. The good guys will reclaim this universe, despite depressed Georgiou's gloomy predictions."
Yana still didn't say anything. Lorca51 hugged her.
"It's OK," he said. "Everything ended up OK."
Yana sat up and snapped, "It almost went to complete crap because I'm incompetent! If I hadn't messed up the protocol, if I had been able to predict that something like this would happen, Lorca0 would never have gotten his hands on the Y Avatar! I shouldn't have done any of this! Why did I think I could survive as a human when I could barely get by as a Y? I once got trapped in a closed universe and it took me 4000-freaking years to escape! And now this game…I thought it would be fun and educational, like a children's show! I thought everything would be under control!"
Lorca51 smiled, amused, and said, "Well, that's life for you. We make mistakes, we fix them, sometimes, we make new ones. We can't predict everything. Dust yourself off and keep going. Do you want any more clichés? Cause I've got plenty."
"Oh dad, do you still love me even though I'm no longer human?"
"Of course! Don't be silly. I'm so happy now, now that you can no longer be hurt by weapons or get sick."
Yana became concerned about his injuries and healed him up.
"He beat you up quite badly," she said. "That's my fault too. I tried to sabotage the process to distract him from the real reason his plan wouldn't work. He could have figured out a way around it if he was prepared."
"It's not the first time I've had the shit beaten out of me by another Lorca. It just seems to be what we do."
"I guess I'll never be captain now, like you wanted."
"I just want you to be safe and happy. And captain? You could still become captain of those Qs or Ts or whatever."
"I think I'd rather just make it to lieutenant and stay that forever."
They went back inside. The two Burnhams discussed what should be done with Lorca0's technology. Burnham51 explained how in her universe, they destroyed the spore drive tech. Burnham0 said that was just stupid and didn't want to give up such a useful system. They could inject someone else with tardigrade DNA and use Lorca0's shuttle and Lorca1's Discovery to keep Lorca0's followers in line. Georgiou was thinking of getting Yana to help out some more, but reconsidered. Multi-dimensional girl seemed likely to mess things up again, given how much she'd messed up already.
"This is our universe and our problems," said Georgiou. "You lot are just visitors. I don't care about the so-called peaceful resolutions of your universe. None of that works here. If I should live to see peace in my time…well…I don't think I shall."[9]
Lorca50 had kept to himself for a while. Now he ambled over to Lorca51 and said, "You know what I'd like to see?"
"The two Burnhams making out?" Asked Lorca51.
"Oh my god, it's like you read my mind!"
That was clearly far from the case. Burnham0 kept snapping at Burnham51 whenever the latter made suggestions that didn't align with the Knot Universe's values, such as they were. They discussed how the Universe 51 people would get back home. According to Yana, the 52 universes were not offset in time. The six month time difference happened because Stamets0 hadn't picked the most efficient route through the mycelial network. If Yana, who could not manipulate time, were to teleport her friends home, they would arrive "six months ago."
"I could do with a six month vacation," said Burnham51. "We'll just hide somewhere and relax. Though maybe I'll send myself an anonymous message not to eat the chili that I had a month ago. I think it's still coming up."
"I once thought the same of a dead rat I ate when I was trapped in some tunnels after Lorca bombarded our hideout," said Burnham0.
Why does she keep pointing out how much harder life was for her? Wondered Burnham51.
"Why can't you just use the mycelial network?" Asked Stamets51.
"I'm not really compatible with it," said Yana. "The mycelial network does not extend into the QYZ Continuum."
But she could still use it so they argued over the best route. It was Lorca50 who figured it out, since he was the least tired, and since Lorca51 said the solution for him, they thought for a moment that Lorca51 suddenly acquired superior physics knowledge.
"You didn't even pass Warp Theory at the Academy!" Said Burnham51. "How could you possibly have figured this out?"
Lorca51 gave credit where credit was due and muttered, "I passed Warp Theory. I came to an understanding with the instructor."
"Please tell me the details later," whispered Lorca50.
Before the Universe 51 folks left, Burnham0 asked to speak with Saru. They went out onto the platform.
"I take it we were friends in this world?" Asked Saru.
"Friends, yeah, and much more besides," said Burnham0 while looking down over the dark city. She didn't say anything for a while, then came out with, "He destroyed it, you know, with one of his planet annihilation tools. He didn't have to. He could have used Kaminar's resources but he destroyed it just to hurt us. It drove my Saru mad. I couldn't stop him. He went after Lorca, unprepared, with his sister and a few other Kelpians but they perished. They all perished."
Saru was deeply affected by the knowledge of this other Kaminar's destruction. He stood with his hand over his heart for a while.
"I'm sorry," said Burnham0 without much feeling. "Maybe I shouldn't have told you. But you're just like him. He was one of the only people who could still get me to care."
"It is a terrible tragedy. I empathize with your loss. Is there anything I can do for you?"
Burnham0 looked at him closely for a bit, then shook her head and muttered, "Nah."
Saru picked through his pockets and pulled out a crumpled Kaminar flower.
"Here, this is for you," he said.
"It's good to know they still exist somewhere," said Burnham0. "That you still exist somewhere."
They went back inside and said their goodbyes. Yana gathered her friends around her and took them home through the mycelial network, just in time for dinner.
Footnotes
[1] Though this ability faded soon, years later, when he was a cantankerous old man who made swift judgements about people, Bryce was sometimes able to make drinks overturn on those whom he didn't like.
[2] Lorca50 insisted the farmers had suspicious possessions that definitively marked them out as serial killers, such as: a macaroni painting, a xylophone, hamsters, and worst of all, a hat with a propeller on top.
[3] Insert fake technical words of choice.
[4] He settled for just "King" in the end as his title. Simple and elegant.
[5] Scream, Inc. utilized a simple but surprisingly effective jingle in their marketing campaign for the torture devices: "Agonizer collar, when not in use, put it in a drawer!"
[6] Follow that if you can!
[7] Oh, no, he didn't get to this part of the story when he was lecturing them earlier. No, he still had about 2.5 hours of self-aggrandizing autobiography to expound upon.
[8] Just for the record, he was going to say "friend."
[9] She was wrong. The Knot Universe entered an era of relative calm after the downfall of Lorca0's empire. It was no Federation, though. Georgiou ruled with an iron fist and constantly feared treachery, but during and after her reign nothing exciting occurred. Burnham0 became the navigator and captain of Lorca1's Discovery, and eventually ruler of what she continued to call the Phillipan Empire.