The barbarian

We were tied up.

Rauru had tied us up, and I felt that bond around our wrists like the thick iron chains in the castle dungeons.

After the wedding we had to go out and greet our people. The barbarians roared with joy when they saw us appear outside the doors of the temple. I looked for Gae wishing he could find me an early escape, but when my eyes met his, he shrugged, he was as tied up as I was. One of the royal carriages picked us up on the same steps of the temple and would take us to the banquet without having to walk surrounded by the crowds. In a couple of blinks everything would be over, although the worst part was still missing and with every minute gone, I felt more and more helpless.

He also seemed uncomfortable, moved the arm he had attached to mine and couldn't stand still in the seat. He had a big, rough hand. I've never touched such a rough hand, no one in my family had their hands like that.

"Maybe we should say hello," he said, looking at the crowd who were yelling at us across the window.

I didn't answer. I didn't want to look at him, he was there next to me, I felt his burning hand and his nervousness, but I wasn't able to articulate anything. He began to move his leg restlessly, peeked out the window and turned to look at me in disguise. He didn't look like a barbarian, Gae was right. I recognized Kahen's red robe, though in him it looked different. He was a little taller than Kahen and although he was thin, his arms were wider, the clothes fit him tighter than my brother. With that outfit he might appear to be some kind of prince, I guess. I also assumed that his facade would soon disappear. How long would it take for him to start talking about gutted beasts and animals like the barbarians did? Goddess, Impa's promise came to my mind, and I felt horrified. At least she'd be there to defend me that first night with the barbarian. The rest of the nights I would have to build a defense, or maybe the only exit was to get accustomed to being used in the same way the barbarians use horses or wolves to hunt.

"What does the bird mean?" He asked me. He nailed those huge blue eyes to mine.

"What bird?"

"The one in your cape. The red bird on the emblem of your family."

I didn't expect that question. Of all the things you can ask someone you just married without knowing that person at all, he asked about the royal emblem.

"It's ancient. There are some legends about it, but now I don't remember them—I lied. He was a barbarian and knew nothing at all about the goddess Hylia. The red bird was the bird of the legend, in which she rode to go down from the skies. Anyway, the barbarians had different legends and gods, so I saved myself the explanations.

He frowned and stared at me until I couldn't stand his look and moved my face away. It was rude to look at me like that.

"When are they going to take this thing away from us?" He raised his arm, dragging mine with him.

"At the banquet."

"Will the banquet last long?"

"I don't know."

I hoped it would last forever. I hoped that everyone would end up drunk and exhausted and that I could go to bed alone and forget about the Blood Marriage.

"I'm tired, I haven't slept much," he rubbed his hair a little with his free hand.

"Neither did I."

When the carriage stopped, a line of Hyrule guards awaited us, making a corridor to the hall with their swords held high. We stepped out and crossed still chained to each other, as more flower petals rained down and cheers rang out. I would rather prefer there was none of that, of course, it was not a desired marriage, in such cases it would have to be celebrated more discreetly.

Two men were almost upon us when we reached the hall, one of them had a dark, thick beard, and the other was taller and had the hair so long he had braided it several times.

"Congratulations on the wedding, Captain! We've already found the cellars!" exclaimed the bearded man, drinking wine from a glass chalice. He wore a suit made of fur; I couldn't recognize of which animal.

"I won't prove anything in case it's poisoned, I'll let Ardren try it first," the taller man folded his arms and gave me a murderous look.

"I'll see you later," my barbarian told the other barbarians.

"You mean tomorrow, I think you'll be too busy today, won't you, Captain?"

The one with the beard let out a laugh and they made the way for us. It was utterly disrespectful to raid the cellars before the bride and groom arrived in the hall, and it was even worse to do so without the presence of the King of Hyrule.

"Fridd and Ardren. They're my best friends," I saw a kind of smile in the barbarian.

"Did they shoot my brother? Or were they the ones who killed the soldier?"

I don't know why I blurted out that acid comment, but I was sick of being chained to him and sick of the wedding. He was stunned by my words.

"I was the one who shot your brother. And I'd do it again."

This time I was the one who fell silent, it was the same as being slapped in the face. He decided at that moment that enough was enough (I guess) and undid the tie that bound us together. The cloth fell to the ground as we moved forward, my hand free of his at last.

In the hall we had to preside over the table. It was weird because it used to be Father who presided next to Kahen. Instead, the barbarian and I were at a high table, away from the others, and the rest of the tables were arranged downstairs. That left us alone and isolated from others again. I saw he greeted his family with a kind of sad grimace in his face. Gae approached us, before taking his place at the table with my family.

"Congratulations, Captain Link," he said.

"Thank you, Prince Gaepora."

"Zel, I'll be right there. The food is excellent, and there is a nourishing smell coming from the kitchens," Gae smiled, and squeezed my hand, "surely we'll have a great time."

Then he returned to his table, from where he would throw glances at us from time to time.

"Zel?" The barbarian arched an eyebrow.

"It's sibling stuff," I felt warm on my cheeks, and I disguised it by calling the butler, to hell, I decided to drink the whole lake Hylia.

"I also have two siblings, Leri and Jannie. They're twins."

"I see."

"We have different mom. Their mother is Aldry of the Wolf Fang clan. Do you know that clan?"

"No."

"Well... you'll learn it. There are many different clans in the mountains."

I drank my wine and asked for more. It was as tasteless as the last one, I had to resign myself (resigning myself was going to become my great speciality, no doubt).

Some musicians came in and there were also some entertainments, minstrels and magicians who usually cheered the banquets. The barbarians' table was very noisy, they found fun spending heavy jokes on the minstrel and poets of the court. Father would have to compensate the poor artists later, I hoped he would be generous to them. Despite being my father and the King, he gave no speech, at last a slight symptom of austerity in this stupid ceremony. Father just raised his arms and asked all the guests in the room to eat and drink at leisure, hoping that all would be to the guests' liking. I had to talk to him later, it wasn't just that he had sold me out to the barbarians, it was that my husband was the one who had shot Kahen. I wonder what the hell Father was thinking, or if he really cared about me as much as he claimed.

"That thing you drink looks like dirty water—the barbarian redrawn a kind of half-smile—would you allow me a recommendation?"

I shrugged and offered my empty chalice to him, who called his own butler. Perhaps if I drank any liquor from the mountains, I would end up half unconscious and everything would be more bearable. However, it looked the barbarian drunk wine too. I sniffed my chalice suspiciously and noticed that he was waiting to see my reaction.

"Goddess, this is..."

"Your servants organized this banquet quickly and without considering much of my family's ideas. You are the princess and the bride, I guess it's the right thing," he said, drinking a generous drink of his own glass—this wine is the only thing they allowed me to choose. It's wine from the village of Hateno in Necluda. My mother was from there. It's stronger than what you were drinking, but it doesn't taste like dirty water."

"I never thought they'd serve Necluda wine at a royal wedding."

"Don't you like it?"

"No, it's not that. You wouldn't understand."

"My friends expected me to choose something more typical of the mountains. But my mother is not here as I would have liked, I can't imagine the look on her face if she knew that I had married the... you. I miss her, this wine is a way of remembering her."

I don't know why he told me that, he might have been trying to soften me up a little bit, make me let my guard down or something.

"My mother would never have allowed this wedding to take place," I said, "at least she wouldn't have consented to that grotesque Blood Marriage ceremony."

He snorted and left his drink on the table. In that moment I wished Impa, my brother or someone I trusted was nearby.

"I don't want to be here either, you know?" He murmured; his gaze lost in the crowd.

"It was your people who proposed it. At best with a sack of gold this would have been settled and we shouldn't be here, having this conversation."

"Perhaps," he took his chalice and drank it whole, "perhaps your brother could be wiser and not go around killing children."

"I'm not proud of that. He's an idiot," I admitted. Wine made me reveal more than I should, especially with a stranger like the barbarian.

"The Western chiefs fear you'll run away after the wedding. They fear that you go away to some corner of Hyrule and be hidden by the sheikah."

"And does a consummate marriage on the wedding night change that possibility?" I challenged him, but he wouldn't be intimidated.

"No. But for them it's kind of a guarantee. After a consummation you can't be easily married, not to another prince or to one of our enemies."

"I see that you agree then with your companions and their actions," I drank all my wine and asked his butler to serve me more.

"You hold yourself in very high esteem, Your Highness, understandably," he mumbled the words and I could feel his tension, "but as I said, you are not the only one who sacrifices being here or doing this. Others of us have sacrificed everything we ever cared about to be here, so stop behaving as if you are the only victim."

"A princess of Hyrule does not behave like a victim, nor does she flee her duties. When she promises something, she keeps her promise."

"Matter settled then. And I won't have to post guards at the gates of our bed so you don't run away at dawn, because you're very clear on how you should behave."

He made me get up from there. And if I could, I'd have thrown the wine in his face. Or I would have slapped him just like I did with Kahen. He also got up to get away in the opposite direction, I saw him approach his two barbarian friends.

"Zel, are you okay?" Gae came to me as he saw me standing and somewhat obfuscated.

"No... It's all right. He just… he… all this makes me feel nervous," I admitted.

"Did he say anything wrong to you? You want me to call the sheikah?"

"He told me that he asked them to serve Necluda wine at the wedding because it reminds him of his mother and-

"Hurrah! Long live Captain Link!" Gae exclaimed.

"... and that I'm not the only victim of all this. It's not funny, Gae. I can't do this, that's it." I gave up, feeling that the tears I had managed to bury struggled to appear again.

"But he doesn't want it to be like this either, Zel. Is that a bad thing?"

"I guess not," I shrugged, and as I turned around, I saw him choke on a drink that the barbarian with the dark beard forced him to drink.

"I don't think Captain Link is dangerous, really. It'll be all right, you'll see," Gae squeezed my hand.

"It's easier for the men," I said, resigned.

"Don't think so. I wouldn't want to be in his place at all, it's really cruel and hard."

"I'm not just worried about tonight, Gae. I'm worried about what's going to happen next, I don't know what's going to happen,"

"I trust you'll be fine. And if not, then we'll go looking for you and those barbarians won't be able to get rid of the war."

Necluda's wine went direct to my head. You could say that my husband's butler became my butler and was already standing by my side. The barbarian also filled his chalice several times and looked much more relaxed. There was no more exchange of hostile words and he sat next to me again to gobble up everything they served on the table. I can't explain it, he told me he had a closed stomach, but he left all his plates as clean as a mirror. I had never witnessed such an act of gluttony; I wonder where he would put all that fat with a body as athletic as his. Even Kahen and Gae together didn't eat as much as he did.

The truth is, with wine everything got a lot better. I even spoke to Kahen after days of ignoring him. He swore on his sword that he would cut my husband in half if he dared to betray us or do anything bad to me. At heart Kahen is just a big boy and he managed to soften me up a bit when he gave me a hug and told me that he "didn't want to lose his little sister" (how many glasses of wine would he have drunk?). I wasn't the only one to suffer the effects of the drink and before long it looked like there was a festival inside the hall. There were dances between the two families, and I saw Father laugh a couple of times while talking to Chief Grenmak. I was on my feet, which was no small thing, and as I had grown bored with watching the barbarian eat, I had also mingled with the others, to chat with Gae, with my maids, or with some of the women of the court, who gave me even more embarrassing advice than Impa had given me. I was engaged in an interesting conversation (at last) with some of the sheikah who had come to the wedding, when I noticed a tug on the skirt of my dress. I turned and discovered a girl with brown hair and big eyes looking at me curiously.

"Oh, hello!"

"Are you a princess?"

"Yes, I am" I crouched down a bit to be at her level, "did you know any princess before?"

She waved her head and then stuck her big eyes in my diamond tiara.

"There are no princesses in Fort Hawk."

"Would you like to try on my crown? Maybe it'll be a bit big for you, but let's see."

She smiled and I saw she was missing some teeth. She reminded me of when Gae asked me to tear his teeth off by tying them to a string and a horse saddle. There used to be screaming and bloody consequences followed by a Father's punishment.

"If you're Link's girlfriend, we can play together when you come home."

"Of course! We'll do, I promise."

She showed her toothless smile and handed me back the tiara. Then she ran jumping to her brother, who looked at me without daring to approach, and she pointed her finger at me from there. I waved at them and the boy hid under the table, I couldn't help but give a laugh.

Suddenly there was like a roar in the room and the guard's horns blared. I looked around blankly and saw Gae duck his head. Then I felt the barbarian's hand closing over mine.

"The time has come," he whispered. His hand was shaking.

There were cheers and one of the barbarians also sounded a horn. Father announced that the bride and groom should retire, it was midnight and the tradition dictated, but others could continue to celebrate until the meal was over. My stomach shrunk to the size of a fist, but I managed to get out of there by the barbarian's hand.

Gerry escorted us to my quarters, and I looked behind me to see that Impa and an elderly barbarian followed us.

"He's my siblings' grandfather. Grimla, the head of the Wolf Fang clan."

"I see, the other witness."

I noticed how he tensed up a little and didn't let go of my hand even when we lost sight of the guests.

"I wanted someone serious and trustworthy, not to make fun of this," he said, "Grimla is wise and kind."

"Impa is also trusted."

At least she was trustworthy to me, and I knew she wouldn't hesitate to act if he didn't behave.

"Looks like she wants to cut my head off."

"You shouldn't be afraid of her, don't worry."

I don't know why I told him that, I guess it was because I was sorry to feel him trembling like jelly. I didn't understand anything, I was supposed to be terrified. Maybe my mentalisation exercises were paying off.

Gerry opened the door and the way to us. Impa ordered him to retire, that she would be in charge of monitoring or alerting him in case of trouble. What trouble could there be with a barbarian who didn't look like a barbarian and who trembled and couldn't even look at my face?

The door to my quarters closed and then, that's when the one that started shaking was me. Why the hell was such an archaic custom necessary? Well, I understood why, because if it wasn't for imposition, maybe I'd never let the barbarian come near me and hopefully I would die old and virgin. I certainly didn't plan to let Richard come near me if I had married him, or maybe I would, but in time, after getting to know him better if we agreed to have children.

"Remember our conversation, your Highness," Impa said in confidence, and turned her back on us.

"May our God bless your union. I thank you both for avoiding a futile war between two friendly peoples. You are the pride of your homes." Grimla also turned. I preferred him long before other barbarians I had seen at the banquet.

The barbarian sat on the edge of the bed to take off his boots and undress avoiding looking at me. But at some point, he'd have to look at me. I also began to undress a few feet away.

"Link."

He held a breath when he heard his name. I realised it was the first time I'd called him by his name.

"I need you to help me with the corset," I said, turning my back on him. My maids weren't there, and it was absurd to ask Impa for help.

"Of course."

He loosened the ropes one by one, with a gentleness that Amy should take a cue from. As the pressure of the garment on my body loosened, my heart began to race. The corset fell to the floor and all I had left was a thin nightgown, but I felt more naked than ever in my life, so I covered my chest with my arm. I turned to him and saw him as lost as I was. The situation was nothing like the apocalyptic scenes I had imagined, with a man-animal hybrid riding me like a wild horse. I plucked courage from nowhere and tried to remove my underwear. He stopped me, putting that rough, burning hand on top of mine. He didn't completely undress either.

I was the one who took the initiative to lie in bed, in the position Impa had advised me. He hesitated for a moment and then tried to stand on top awkwardly, as if he didn't want to touch me. At last he must have realised that it was impossible to do anything that way, he sighed resignedly and I felt the weight of his body on mine. With one hand he pulled up my nightgown and with the other I felt him rummaging through his clothes. It was late, too late. I had no way out, I felt anguish and wanted to cry.

"I'm scared," I whispered in his ear. The sincerest words I'd said to him since we met.

"It will be very fast, I promise."

He struggled, nervous. I closed my eyes and left my mind blank. I applied one of the many sheikah meditation workouts I had learned. I thought of a lake of serene waters. Sometimes a drop fell from the sky in those waters and made circular waves, I would concentrate on the waves. My body reacted when I felt him, and I couldn't help but let go of some kind of pitiful whining when I noticed that invasion. What I felt next was a nuisance, it hurt a little, but it wasn't unbearable. I didn't want to think about it, I wanted to go back to the calm-waters lake. It was impossible. Besides, he had thrown himself at me completely, sunk his face between my head and pillow trying to avoid looking at me, and I noticed that he was really heavy, so much that my lungs, agitated as if I were running through the woods, couldn't fill well.

"You crush me," I said.

"Sorry."

He towered over me, leaning his arms on the bed, and I could start breathing again. It was never ending. He was trying to move so slowly and cautiously that all he was doing was prolonging our shared agony. So far I had been nothing more than a limp, defeated piece of flesh, Impa had told me it was for the best, but his slowness made the discomfort increase with each of his thrusts and turn to pain. I moved a little to make him understand that we couldn't go on like this forever, and he seemed to react. Everything changed as soon as I started to move with him, and I felt dazed. I felt a kind of tension in my legs and in my belly. I didn't quite understand what was going on, but the discomfort had reduced to almost nothing. He was soon on top of me, breathing heavily. His heart was pounding so hard I could feel it all over me.

Then he retired, and I noticed he was standing up. I curled up in a corner of the bed. I felt ashamed, I just wanted to disappear. A feeling of strangeness overwhelmed me, I didn't feel like I was myself, it's hard to explain. I heard Link was dismissing Impa and Grimla with a "it's done." I heard the door closing, I guess our witnesses left. Better, I didn't want anyone to see me like this, I've never felt so vulnerable.

A heavy silence fell into the room. He didn't go back to bed, I didn't feel the mattress give in to his weight, I couldn't even hear him breathing nearby. In that semi-alert state, I managed to fall asleep.

Notes:

This story is over 200K words long. Well, this chapter, this Blood Marriage was the hardest thing I wrote out of all those words. What the hell, I think it was the hardest thing I've ever written for a fanfic. It hurt me to put the characters in that situation. It hurt to feel their suffering, how uncomfortable they were, the pain it caused them. I could have avoided it somehow, but I decided to take the risk and increase the conflict of the story. Now, when I look at it from a distance, I realise that without that conflict a large part of the story development would make no sense at all. Thank you so much for following my story and letting me know through your comments, it means a lot :) Take care.

-Juliet