The other side
Fort Hawk had something that reminded me of the castle.
Perhaps it was the ranks of archers posted on the walls. Perhaps the presence of servants. I'd got used to having none, and to have strange people hovering around me again was strange... who would have imagined?
This event had made me very nervous. It helped a lot that Gae was with me, I won't deny it, but it was still a tough political and diplomatic test, the hardest after the wedding day. Link was also tense. His jaw was clenched and he had returned to his barbarian monosyllabic pose. He had to leave as we arrived. He left with the boys and his dad, there was something they wanted to check, some fires near the borders. Gae went with them and I had to watch them all leave without being able to complain. I would try to complain as little as possible while I was at Fort Hawk. Impa stayed with me, but she wasn't around. Knowing her, she'd be memorising every nook and cranny of the Fort, looking for vulnerabilities, examining the people there with her manic sheikah obsession of believing that any stranger is a potential threat.
I dismissed the servants and was left alone in the quarters, undoing my luggage. They were Link's quarters, of course. There were no separated rooms for us at Fort Hawk, having separating quarters for us wasn't even considered, since we were married.
Link's quarters were like an open window to his past. He had artistic gifts that I didn't know about. There were drawings in his files. He was an amazing artist, he looked at the detail, made you "see" what he had seen through his illustrations. A drop of dew on a spider web. A mouse hole, with little mice with round ears and small black, shiny eyes, like pin heads. And he also drew forests, mountains, places he had surely visited. I couldn't help but snoop through his sketchbooks, it was as tempting as if someone had put my favourite dessert under my nose and then left me alone to say, "you can't try it until I get back". There was a beautiful drawing of the Eagle's Nest, a feast, just like the one we had made days before. It was so close to reality... it must have taken days to draw that picture. And... I was surprised to find a drawing of a young woman, very beautiful. She had a mischievous smile, and blue eyes so similar to Link's that if I covered her face with one hand I could mistake them for his. In one corner of the painting was written the word "Suly". It was Link's mother. I felt a lump in my throat, the drawing not only depicted her faithfully, I'm sure, but also spoke of what she was like. The sharp eyes that conveyed kindness and trust, and the smile showed that complicity with the artist. In reality Link was so alone...
I really liked that drawing and thought I'd ask Link if he wanted us to take it home. We could make a nice frame and dress the bare stone walls of the Nest. He may not like the idea and was too personal... he may have been mad at me if he found out I'd been snooping around.
Damn it, I felt like an idiot most of the time. I didn't know how to act with him. The physical attraction had me completely confused, and all of a sudden I got a strange anxiety, a fear in case he didn't want to open up with me a little more. When I was with him I was trying to look calmed and friendly... without overdoing it, but inside I was terrified of going over the line and being rejected. We had very different pasts, him and me. My plan was the king of absurd plans, I had only thought of a stupid engagement to a man I was not interested in, while Link was in love, and that's not easily forgotten. It's not like covering a wound with a clean bandage and acting like it's not there.
I had a hard time admitting it, but I had started to feel jealous of that girl. He never mentioned her, had stopped seeing her completely. But in my head she represented all that I could never be, a person who would give Link a simple and peaceful life, in harmony with the rest of the peoples of the West.
I was gawking at the wooden toys that must have belonged to Link as a child, when Impa appeared behind me and gave me the fright of my life.
"You shouldn't snoop on other people's chests," she said.
"And you shouldn't show up like that, like a ghost, one day I'll die of a heart attack," I scolded her. My tone had no effect on her.
"Someone wants to talk to you."
"Who? Aldry?"
Impa waved her head and asked me to put on my coat. We went through corridors, downstairs and outside into the icy air of the yard.
"Where are we going?"
"This way."
We went through the gates. A guard pulled out a steel key as long as my forearm and turned it to open a gate for us so he wouldn't have to lift the gate with the crowbar.
"Can we get out of the Fort?" I hesitated before I took another step, a little dismayed. Of course I was curious to explore the surroundings, but I found it strange to come in and out of a place that wasn't my home without saying anything.
"I am your personal escort, Your Highness. It's a safe step," she said, firmly.
We moved away from the houses around the walled grounds of the great fortress of the West. We got into the woods. There was full daylight, but the sun was hidden behind a whitish sky that threatened snow. And the wood... it was a dense, dark forest. I almost had a hard time breathing there.
"Stop making that face," Impa said, "we don't go far. Your husband doesn't have to know."
"I don't think he cares, but you know I'm trying to get along with his family."
"It'll be quick."
We reached an area of the forest where there was a hut that smoked by the chimney. Impa folded her arms right there, and with a chin movement she let me know that I had to see whoever lived there.
I knocked on the door and I was greeted by an old lady who wore a tunic made of furs and feathers. She pushed me in, and once inside, she asked me to sit down. I decided to do it on some cushions near the fire.
"He would never, ever have brought you to visit me. I know he said he would, but I've known him since he twisted inside his mother's belly and he's always been afraid of me."
"Link... is afraid of you?" I arched an eyebrow, "and you are..."
"My name is Mopai and I am a seer and healer of the family of Fort Falcon for so many years that I have stopped counting."
I shook her wrinkled hand and the woman smiled at me with her few remaining teeth.
"Mopai... you... you're the one who saved me! I'm very grateful to you, really, " I caught her hand again to shake it, this time with much more enthusiasm.
"It's okay, child. I would always do anything for Link's family or for himself," she said.
"You wanted to see me. How can I help you?"
"I just want to talk to you. About what you saw in the cave on the Or Games, for example."
"The... the cave..."
"Don't worry, Link hasn't told me anything." She said, guessing my thoughts. "Nobody's told me anything, really, but I've seen it too."
"What have you seen?"
"You, going in there. I know the spirits of the mountains led you there. Honestly, what you found there doesn't really interest me. It will be something that you must find out for yourself, possibly some help, a vestige of our past."
"You... you are a seer..." the woman began to scare me too. And I didn't imagine Link talking to her, he was always so straight... I didn't see him chatting with one of those people who only expressed themselves through riddles.
"You Highness," she grabbed my hand, "something bad is coming. You know it too like I do, you've seen it. The black smoke."
I swallowed and avoided her eyes. It was just a dream, it meant nothing. The black smoke could represent anything, any fear, my worries… it wasn't real.
"You mustn't be afraid," she said. She poured me some tea and sat in front of me.
"Is it the future? What… what you see in those dreams." I asked.
"The dreams are more likely to be remnants of the past."
"And... Have you seen the future?"
The woman smiled again. It was chilling.
"I've seen many futures. In many of them things don't end well. It's not convenient to play with time, it never ends well. That only leads to more disasters. But we can be alert, keep an eye on the signs."
"Now you do scare me...," I admitted.
"Once, every long time, when millennia pass long enough for the inhabitants of this world to let their guard down, he reappears. The malice, the same darkness. He sleeps, waiting for the next moment to break the seal and try again to see the power of the goddesses. It's always the same."
"I don't understand..."
"For there to be light, there must also be darkness, Princess Zelda. And darkness is represented by a dark being, the king of all demons."
I looked away again, as I took a sip of my tea.
"This isn't the first time you've heard of him," the old lady smiled.
"No. Sheikah excavations talk about that creature. They wanted us to learn to defend ourselves against him. We still have a lot to investigate, I asked Father to help me move the excavations forward."
"But then everything changed. You married the son of The Lord of Fort Hawk and here you are."
"There is no connection, this is just a coincidence. And Link doesn't even know anything about that monster. It's not real, it's just a legend."
"You couldn't be closer to your destiny if you had planned everything on purpose," the old lady laughed.
"I don't understand... excavations are almost on the other side of the world."
"And the only person who, like you, has been chosen to put an end to darkness, lives with you in the Eagle's Nest."
"Are you talking about Link?"
"He's just like you. He lives oblivious to the becoming of the goddesses," she served more tea, "but it was written that you would both meet before or after. It's been like that, and it always will be."
"Sure, as you say."
The woman said some coherent things, but others had neither feet nor tail.
"I brought you here for a reason. To warn you," she said, staring at me, " All will come, in due time, you need not fear. But if the visions show me anything, it is that the only way to defeat the darkness is for you and the boy to stand together. Only then can you control the sacred power that dwells at the heart of Hyrule."
"The Triforce can't be controlled," I stood up, I'd heard enough, "my brother strives to believe otherwise, but it's not a toy or a weapon."
"You are young, I understand your confusion. But the future of all of us depends only on that reality. Your soul and your husband's soul have a connection almost as old as the earth itself. Do not doubt your heart, Princess of Hyrule. It tells the truth."
I left Mopai's hut with more questions than I had on my arrival. I didn't know if she was a crazy old lady or there was some truth in all that. I was afraid she knew about the cave, and my visions. Everything else was too fanciful for me, and I decided not to fill my head too much with so much speculation. That's never been good for me before.
I spent the rest of the day with Aldry and the twins. She was soft and friendly after all the fuss at the Or Games. She confessed to me that many understood our departure, and that they would come to the banquet willing to fix everything.
Aldry wasn't a bad woman, but I found her annoying, it wasn't her fault, it was just that I didn't get along with her attempt to politicise every conversation, as if every word we exchanged had a purpose, I found it exhausting. Besides, she kept harping on about the baby, and I was tired of hearing about it over and over again. After an early, frugal dinner, I told her I had a headache and retired to my quarters.
There I was reading, by the fire, until it was really late. Gae and Link weren't coming back yet and I was very worried about them. At last, past midnight, I heard a horn, the gates. Through the window I saw torches and I knew they were back, so I decided to stay awake, waiting for him.
He arrived later, dragging his feet, though he made an exaggerated effort to open the door and close it quietly.
"Are you awake?" He was surprised to see me sitting by the fire.
"I was reading something very interesting, I couldn't stop."
He looked so tired, he had dark circles under his eyes.
"You wouldn't be worried about me or something..." he hesitated, frowning.
"Not at all. What about Gae?"
"He's gone straight to bed," he sighed, dropping on the carpet, a short distance from me. He took off his boots, the heavy tunic and belt, he only kept his inner shirt and fell flat, face up.
"Have you eaten anything?" I asked. Food always cheered him up.
"I snacked a bit," he squinted his eyes. "So… What have you done all day?"
"I've been with your stepmother and the kids, helping in tomorrow's preparations."
I didn't mention the forest or Mopai.
"Your day has been as hard as mine, then," he teased. And he came a little closer, draining his back down the carpet. Now his head touched the outer face of my thigh.
"Really hard", I grinned.
I brushed aside a lock of hair that fell over his eyes and he closed them. His hair was as soft as that of a small child.
"If you're not so tired… If you want, I'll tell you what we've seen on the border." Now he was shamelessly pressing his head against my leg. I just had to move it a little bit so he could take it as an invitation to lie on my lap. I let him do it, I was actually looking forward to it.
"So… what have you seen at the border?" I put aside the book I was reading and brushed another lock of his hair. He had a lot of swirls that made his hair look a bit unkempt and his hair was getting longer and longer. He always tied it up in a ponytail, but now he wore it loose.
"The peasants complain that Ikana burns their crops," he moved his forehead into my hand. Did he want me to touch his hair? I put my hand on his head and his gesture relaxed completely.
"Is it normal for that to happen?"
"It's been a long time. I don't understand what the hell's going on, it looks like everything's out of control."
"Has anyone been injured?"
"Luckily not. But not many crops grow in the West, you know? Every fire is a major damage."
"Will it be fixed with more border protection?"
"Perhaps."
I loved touching his hair and head. I could go all night like this, and he didn't seem to mind. He was tired, full of worries and he let his guard down, leaving behind the slightly tense attitude towards me of the last days.
"Tell me, have you snooped on everything I keep here yet?"
The question caught me by surprise and I couldn't help but give a laugh.
"For a correct inspection I need more time, you know," he smiled with his eyes closed, "I've seen some other drawing out there lying around."
"You must have seen for yourself that I'm much better artist than you."
"You hold yourself in high esteem. My drawings are pretty good," I joked.
"You drew me with huge ears, you offended me."
"You have huge ears," I caressed one and he tightened. No. He hadn't liked that, after the tension he ended up sitting up and turning his back on me.
"We should sleep now. Tomorrow will be a very long day," he moved his neck to one side and the other, until it creaked.
"I'm sorry, Link, I didn't mean to bother you," I said, with a knot in my stomach.
"What? You didn't bother me."
Yes, I had gone over the line, just what I was avoiding doing. The situation became uncomfortable. He struggled to undress without looking at me and got into one side of the bed, turning his back on me. I occupied a little part of the immense space he had given me. He seemed to be so uncomfortable, perched on the edge of the bed as if he were going to throw himself around from one moment to the next.
"Good night, Link. I hope you rest and... I hope I don't move around too much in bed. Sometimes I have nightmares."
I was just begging the goddesses not to be "blessed" with one of them that night.
"Zelda."
"Yes?"
"This is the first time we've slept together since we got married," he whispered, on the pillow.
"Right, I hadn't thought about it."
To hell with it, I hadn't thought of anything else since we set foot in Fort Hawk. But… in my head it was different, not as uncomfortable as this. We were friends and… maybe I was messing it all up.
"I may move a bit, too."
"With all the space you've given me I can handle it, don't worry," I teased.
I heard a little laugh and got him to relax. He came a little closer and no longer looked like he was going to kill himself on the edge of our bed.
"Sweet dreams, Zelda."
"You too."
The morning dawned frosty. It was snowing. It was a winter day in all its splendour and we were only just peeking into the beginning of winter. When I opened my eyes, my husband was already gone. I decided to stay in bed a little longer and then went to get Gae for breakfast.
He was excited about everything and couldn't stop talking. Of the people of the West, of their journey of exploration on the border with Ikana, of fires, of wraith and of a thousand other things. His infinite curiosity dragged us both to the top of the wall of Fort Hawk. If I looked over the edge it was very dizzying, the walls were as high as those of Fort Hateno, which guarded the home village of Link's mother.
There was a tireless transit coming to the fort. In the distance I saw Link riding on the white snow that had fallen all night. He helped the troops to organise carts and wagons to welcome guests.
"You've always hated dances and banquets," Gae said, beside me. We had both perched ourselves on the walled walkway and the icy wind was blowing his blonde fringes back and forth.
"It's not true. I had nothing against dancing and banqueting. I hated Father making me dance with old men, which is not the same." Gae laughed.
"Some of them weren't that old..."
"They were. I couldn't stand it."
"You once danced with the gerudo prince. I don't think he forgot about that."
"He was courteous," I recalled, "He was right with me and he was also a very good dancer."
"But then you denied him all the dances he asked you for as if he were the same devil."
"I've never liked him, you know."
"And Link? Can he dance?"
"I don't know, I don't think so."
"Are you okay, Zel?"
"No," I acknowledged, "I'm very nervous. Last time... you don't know how horrible it was, Gae. The barbarians don't want us here. They blame us for Kahen, they use us as an excuse to attack Link's family. I don't want him to lose the Eagle's Nest."
"I don't understand all this, that they hate you. They can hate Kahen, okay, but why you? And Link? There's no logic to it."
"You should know what barbarian logic looks like...,"
"Father married you to avoid this, to show that we are not enemies, what else is needed? This whole thing sucks."
"I know… I know."
"Seriously, Zel... it seems as if the blood marriage was useless."
"Father married me to a barbarian, but not to all barbarians. Even if he sees them all the same, there are big differences. There are many clans, each with its own leader or... or king if you want to see it that way. Everyone has their interests, so they don't feel compensated because I'm attached to one of them. For all purposes, they don't care. Or even worse, they feel the enemy wandering among them!"
"If these guys keep behaving wrong, you can always come back and live in Hyrule. You may come back home, with me." he shrugged.
"It's not that easy," I put my hand in his face. I was surprised to notice that some rough hairs started to populate his cheek, it was no longer as soft as ever.
"I don't want you to worry, Zel. It's just a banquet. Tomorrow we'll be back at the Nest and we'll have a real party with Link, Frea and the others. You'll be back to be happy again," Gae clenched his fists.
"I'd like this to go well," I confessed, "I want to be able to help Link as his wife. I don't want to cause him any more trouble."
"I don't think you'll cause him any trouble."
"But I'm a long way from being what he would have wanted in a wife."
"Why do you say that? Did he say anything wrong to you?"
"No, it's my stuff."
I wasn't Eve, that's it. I couldn't force him to start feeling all the same confusing feelings I had at the moment. I wasn't a proper wife for him, and I couldn't force him to like me.
"Zel, I think you imagine things that aren't real. Forget about you being a problem and all that."
I let him hug me in that moment of weakness, although I felt unable to explain to him the jumble of emotions that tortured me.
That night I got ready for the winter banquet the best I could. I didn't wear any of Princess Zelda Bosphoramus' dresses, that woman no longer existed, but I'd asked Ardren's mother to sew me something special, in the style of the western towns. She was a seamstress, a very famous one in Nightfall, and she came to me through Frea. She made me a two-piece dress with long sleeves, so that I looked like I was wearing a shirt and a skirt, but both were sewn together at the waist. The colours were the greens and ochres of the mountains, no strange dyes brought from Hyrule or oriental lands. Nothing reminiscent of the Bosphoramus family. The leather and feathers on the belt helped to make me look like the women of the mountains, and when I saw myself in the dress, I was quite satisfied.
Aldry's servants came looking for Gae and me, and they accompanied us to the big hall, where there was already a great murmur, the food was served and the musicians were beginning to warm up the atmosphere.
It was our turn to be sitting on the side of the table presiding over the banquet. In the centre were Chief Grenmak and Aldry, and on the opposite the twins and Grimla, Aldry's Father. He came to say hello when he saw me.
"I'm happy to see you, Your Highness," kissed the back of my hand. No one's been doing anything like this since I was in the castle, "the western air suits you."
"Thank you very much, Chief Grimla. It's good to see you."
"I wanted to tell you that I disapprove of what happened at the Or Games. I had harsh words with Kruu and Ufal. Their passion for gold blinds them, I'm afraid. I'm sorry you had to live something like that."
"I thank you, from the heart. I look forward to attending another year with Link."
"You will be more than welcome. And as for tonight, this feast is for Nightfall and Fort Hawk only. Apart from me and my daughter, the other clans of Hebra will not be attending, so I hope you will enjoy the evening without any altercation."
Grimla winked at me and retreated to his place. He was from the mountains, like Kruu and Ufal, but he was different. And... as a witness to my wedding night, he always treated me with special respect, I could notice it. He looked nothing like his daughter Aldry, of course.
When they were serving the first course, Link showed up. He seemed a little stressed or nervous.
"Everything okay?" I asked.
"I was securing the perimeter. We don't want any trouble tonight," he forced a smile.
He was so handsome it was breathtaking. He had left behind his furs and barbarian garb to wear a wine-coloured tunic with the Eagle's Nest emblem. As soon as he saw the food on his plate, he relaxed and went back to his old self.
I admit the banquet was better than I expected. Grimla wasn't the only one who came close to apologizing, there were others like him. Some even dedicated kind words to me or to Father, in the years when winter was so aggressive in the West and crops were ruined, Hyrule had always reacted by donating its surpluses so that no one would suffer from such shortages.
"Shall we dance, Your Highness?"
Ardren was also very handsome that night and had been hanging around our table several times insinuating to Link that if "no one" took me out to dance in a few minutes, he would be the first to do so.
"Of course, even though I don't know these dances," I admitted, accepting his hand.
"I'll show you, it's not as complicated as those dances you have in Hyrule. By the way, I must say that your outfit today deserves a poem, this should not be forgotten," he made me drop a laugh, he was always just as exaggerated with everything.
"It's your mother's merit, from start to finish. She's a great seamstress."
"No way. She tries to dress her son too, and he doesn't shine half as bright as you do, so you have something to do with it," he winked.
It was a lot of fun learning with Ardren. The western dances reminded me of the folk dances in the Akalla region of Hyrule. Lots of tangle of arms and hands and turns. In fact, I was wrong and stepped on him a couple of times, but we both broke into laughter until I managed to learn. A few steps from me, Gae danced with the twins. He'd spent the night talking to all the guests with the best of his smiles, I don't know how he wasn't exhausted, but he seemed determined to have a word with every inhabitant of the West.
"I leave you in the hands of the prince, I return immediately," Ardren apologised.
Gae was a very good dancer, he learned everything without difficulty and took me with almost the same ease with which Ardren had done it.
"Zel, I think things are going well," he smiled, "I've talked to a lot of people tonight, and everyone agrees that the mountain clans misbehaved. They condemn what happened at that northern festival and have great affection for your husband."
I didn't want to keep dealing with political issues, not with him, so I chose to deflect the conversation.
"Seriously, when the hell have you grown so much? I have to look up to dance with you, I feel humiliated." I joked, remembering all the times we'd danced together.
"I knew the day would come when you'd pay for all the times as you treated me like a dwarf," he laughed, "we have to do a sheikah competition too. You and me."
"I accept the challenge."
"We're back!" Ardren exclaimed behind our backs. He had brought Link with him "Prince Gaepora, I want to introduce you to my mother, she's been wanting to talk to you for a while. Will you come with me?"
"Of course."
Gae dropped me in the middle of the dance like someone who abandons a bundle of firewood in the middle of a road, I hate him. Link coughed, and reached out his hand, and in that crude way at last my husband decided to ask me to dance. I don't know why he had given so much thought to something so silly, and it only made me feel more tortured by his elusive attitude towards me.
For a while we danced in silence, but I wasn't enjoying it, not really. Maybe he'd been forced to take me out to dance by protocol, maybe he did it just because he knew that was going to please me. In any case it wasn't natural and made me feel uncomfortable, like the night before when I touched his ear.
"Are you worried about anything?" He asked, in the face of my silence.
"No, everything's fine."
"You're very silent."
"Dancing doesn't require talk," I forced a smile. He frowned.
"Zelda I... I'm not good at these things, I'm so sorry."
"What things? Dances? You dance very well, don't worry."
"No, it's not that."
"Then?"
"Nothing," he said.
Things had gotten weird since that night. When we try to get back to the baby thing. I certainly asked him about it the night we made the bonfire in the Nest and he denied there was something wrong, but his attitude said otherwise. Besides, we had drunk and the conversation was a little confusing in my head. Goddess, I feared now more than ever Gae's departure. I had a lump in my throat. I couldn't stand Link still weird with me and not having Gae around, it was like facing two losses at once.
"I also think that your new dress suits you very well, you look so... so… y-you know. Really."
I was stunned by the comment and went from distressed to overwhelmed in just a second.
"Thank you. You look very handsome in that robe, too."
"I'm so sorry... damn it," he smiled and snorted a couple of times, "I don't even know how to apologise to you anymore, if it's all my fault. All."
"What is your fault?" I couldn't help but laugh. I thought it was funny when I went into a state of barbarian obfuscation.
"My awkwardness. Forget it, okay? I'll fix it. But give me some time, please."
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Link,"
"With you being happy, that's enough for me."
I was going to answer, but at that moment the dance was over and everyone started clapping. Then some barbarians came in, wearing the skull helmet, like the one I had seen on Link, like the one I had seen on the Night of the Fire, and began a sort of knife-throwing display. It was spectacular, I had to admit.
"Captain Link."
We both turned around. Impa appeared out of nowhere and as a ghost stood right behind us.
"I need you to come with me to check something out. I think there's trouble," she whispered.
"What? I'm going too," I intervened.
"It's not convenient for you both to go away," Impa said, "we don't want to arouse suspicion. Come on, Captain Link."
"I'll be right back, Zelda, you'll see, but I need to go."
They both walked away, oblivious to the banquet and everything that was happening at the time in the hall.
I excused Link many times before the night was over, all the times they came asking for him and said he had to be away for a moment. Everything had passed much more quickly than I expected, it had gone well, very well. No one had insulted us, no one had treated me or Gae in a derogatory way. I'd gotten away from Aldry for most of the evening, and had even had a chance to have some fun.
The guests began to retreat little by little, and so did Aldry with the children and Chief Grenmak. The servants who looked after me appeared insinuating that I retreated to the quarters, and reluctantly I did, because Link still didn't return. I was about to undress to get into bed when there was a knock at the door. Sure enough, it was Gae and that put a smile on my face... just like in the old days he and I ended the feast in our way.
"A walk along the wall to finish the evening?" He insinuated.
"But we were already there this morning..."
"Not on the other side."
We pulled our cloaks and hoods over our heads, to keep warm and inconspicuous. Although almost all the guests in Fort Hawk were retreated at their quarters and it was very easy to go unnoticed.
The western wall was different. It was the natural border with the kingdom of Ikana. Gae and I had only heard horror stories about this kingdom and when I saw it in person I could only suffer an overdose of reality. The mountains alternated with dark pines and snowy plains. The moonlight also shone in Ikana and the same stars above our heads in Hyrule populated the sky of the distant realm of scary tales. Ikana looked beautiful. But Link had been lost there with Impa for hours, and we didn't know anything about them. Apparently Ardren had gone with them, but not Fridd, who also came to ask me about Captain Link before retiring.
"Impa always complicates things," I growled, wandering nervously among the archers' stalls.
"They may have discovered something that was slipping away from us yesterday," Gae said, "you know how sheikah are."
"I have a bad feeling," I leaned with my forearms on the edge of the wall, Gae imitated me.
"You look really worried," he squeezed my shoulder with his own.
"I am, Gae. A lot of things have happened these weeks, you don't understand. Everything's changed since I left the castle."
"I know, and it's not just your hair," he teased. I stayed serious and he started taking me seriously too. "As long as Impa's with him, he'll be safe and sound. And, hey, I'm sure Link doesn't have a problem with you, nor do I think he has any concrete expectations about what your marriage should look like. Take it easy."
"So now you admire Impa... her brainwash training worked fine with you." I teased, waving my head.
"Yup! Are you less worried, even if it's a little?" He asked, with a tiny voice.
I had to tell someone the truth or I would burst inside.
"Gae is not that, it's that... I think I like Link." I confessed. And I felt a little weightless, because admitting it in front of someone other than me made it more real, I don't know why.
"You like Link?"
"Yes."
"You're in love." He grinned.
"What? That's not what I said." I blushed hopelessly.
"You don't like him, you're in love with him, it's pretty obvious."
"You're mocking me and it's not funny…"
"What's a mock? That you love Link?"
"Please, stop saying that." I covered my ears with my hands.
"Saying, what? Love?"
"Yes!"
Gae broke down to laugh and I hated him with all my might.
"I knew well enough that you were in love, sister, I know you too much and I could see it miles away. You like to be mysterious when you don't really have any mystery, you're too obvious Zel…"
"Dear Hylia, why? Why are my brothers like this?" I snorted.
"And what's the problem if you love him? Link is a nice guy. I like him. Isn't it a good thing you fall in love with your husband?"
"You have no idea." I grunted.
"Then, tell me. I know I'm younger than you. Is that why you don't want to tell me?"
"No, it's not that…" I softened a bit with him. "I… I like him, Gae. But this is driving me crazy because I don't know how to manage this. Now we are starting to be good friends and this doesn't help. I overthink any single word, look or… or touch from him. It's a nightmare. I don't know what to do to back to normal."
"I'm not a good counsellor when it comes to love…"
"Gae, please" I scolded him.
"Alright, I'm not a good counsellor when it comes to liking someone. I have no experience. We grow jailed, like weird animals, like if we weren't humans. You know better than I. Love has nothing to do with the crown. But…"
"But…" I arched an eyebrow, my heart was racing a bit harder.
"Link is a nice guy, I don't think he'll take it wrong if he founds out. I don't think this would spoil your friendship."
"He's in love with a girl from Nightfall." I confessed bitterly and I dropped to the ground to lean against the wall. He dropped by my side.
"You sure?"
"Yes. He told me."
"Things may change."
"Maybe I'm confused, don't you think? It's easy to get confused when you live with someone, someone who cares about you, who is kind and chivalrous. Maybe this is just a matter of time and I'll forget about this."
"Liking someone isn't a bad thing, even if he doesn't correspond you. You're not hurting anyone, you're married."
"I don't know what to do."
"You don't have to do anything, Zel. Act as usual, and if you feel bad you should tell him. He might be oblivious to this and hurt you unintentionally. I don't want anyone to hurt you."
He grabbed my hand and I took a deep breath.
"I behave like a stupid baby. What's he going to think about me? He's older than me."
"You say it like he was thousand years older than you..."
"Not a thousand years, but a thousand... Experience."
"Oh, that's the problem!" he chuckled, "you always want to be the most know-it-all but this time you're in disadvantage… good to know…"
I couldn't help but laugh with him this time.
"Experience matters to me" I winked "The problem is that I don't know what he'd do if he really knew how I feel. Surely he'd be polite to me, and be forced to..."
"Correspond you?"
"I don't know," I admitted, bitterly, "but I'd rather not say anything. He's had a lot worse time than me with the wedding, he's heartbroken. I messed up his plans much more than he messed up mine."
"Who was going to tell you that you'd be here talking to me about broken hearts and nonsense like that?" He teased me, "if you were the Zel I know right now, we should be planning your escape from the barbarians to Hyrule and your later life underground."
"And what secret identity would I adopt?"
"Uhm. We have to think it over so no one ever finds you."
"Hired assassin. Oh! Best. Goat breeder."
"You'd be a dangerous hired assassin who lived under the secret identity of a mysterious goat breeder."
We both laughed until our stomachs hurt, as we always did when we got together to ramble on about life.
"Thank you for listening to me, Gae. I'm so happy you're here," I squeezed his hand.
"I'm happy too. I miss you. But really… take it easy."
In the end Gae always made me laugh and feel much better. Did he really have to go back to Hyrule Castle? If Father had let him come, why not a longer retirement near his sister?
"Are we going back inside, Zel? It's cold in here."
I nodded and we got up to go back inside.
"Gae."
"Yes?"
"I think I'm in love with him."
"I've told you."
"Please, don't tell anyone, alright?"
"It will be the first thing I tell Father when I'm back, that you have betrayed us with a barbarian..."