Friendly tense calm
Link's a complete idiot. That's all, an idiot barbarian with a head hard as a rock. Maybe it's just that I didn't realise it before, it's like I've been a bit blind all this time. Amy used to say that love makes young girls blind and a bit stupid. Soon I'll see Amy again, I can hardly believe it. How is everyone in the castle? And my brothers? Why is there no sign of the monsters and that dark army of Ikana's?
When I think about it I don't know how to feel. I don't know what it will feel like to see my rooms again, the gardens, the familiar corridors. Father. It feels like thousands of years have passed, though it's not that long ago. Spring is beginning to show in Hyrule, a spring that is still far away and impossible in the Eagle's Nest. Will everyone treat me the same as always, or...?
"The captain has decided to stop," said Fridd, who approached the wagon where I travelled.
"It's about time. I thought he'd want to drag us to the castle relentlessly and in the dark," I growled.
"We'll make at least two stops, I think."
We were on the border of the hills of Hyrule with the first forests and meadows of the plain. Close to the green countryside I longed for, but still too far to even smell it. I have never liked the hills. Not that I had travelled to the hills thousands of times to judge them so naively, in fact I think apart from what I ironically called a "honeymoon trip" I had only ever gone there in passing, always with a huge army of royal guards and another of sheikah. The hills were as if the ancestral bones of Hyrule lay bare, as if spirits were hissing among the high, bare rocks like a collarbone or the eye of a giant skull. The wind always seemed to carry a song, a cruel lament. I could imagine a thousand ghost stories taking place there, and it gave me goosebumps.
"Zelda."
"Ah, no!" I squealed. I was alone, I thought, unloading the wagon to set up the camp when I was surprised by his voice at my back, "shit, Link..."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he babbled.
"Why on earth have you approached just like a ghost or a spirit of the hills? My heart almost stopped with shock."
"Spirit of the hills?"
"Nothing, forget it," I said, feeling warm on my cheeks.
He blinked a couple of times and then came over to help me get things out of the wagon.
"How was the trip? Are you tired?"
"No, I'm fine."
"I'm trying to get us there as fast as we can, just as your father demanded."
"Of course you did, I've noticed your hurry because we haven't even stopped for... Well. Not even to meet a lady's basic needs," I blushed again, and he gave me his goofy look.
"If you were not okay, you should have warned me."
"Goddess, it's not that…"
Stubborn, insomniac barbarians who don't need to stop to pee. I hated the way they travelled, the same way they travelled on my honeymoon, no more, no less.
"Well, I'm going to see if the others need help to set the camp," he said, drawing a kind of shy smile.
"Alright."
I had to put up with his silence for a few more seconds when he stared at me without daring to say anything, and then approached Impa.
Things were weird with him, there was a friendly tense calm (so I classify it) between us. He would sometimes approach me or glance at me out of the corner of his eye to test my mood. I preferred not to look at him so as not to burst into flames. I knew he had feelings for me, he showed them in a thousand possible ways, so why is his solution to all the horrible problems we have is to break up our marriage? I swear to all the goddesses I've tried to understand him and I've drawn a thousand scenarios in my head and none of them I see a benefit in us breaking up, so the only possible conclusion is that Link is an idiot and he makes me mad.
"May I help you, Your Highness?" Impa came up to me when she saw me fighting with the tent canvas.
"Where are the barbarians? Don't they set up their tents?"
"They went to get something for dinner, I think. Maybe some vermin. Don't worry, I still have provisions that Lord Tyto gave us in the rito village, you don't have to try the cactus soup with weasel that your husband's friends will cook tonight."
"Good to know." I grinned.
"You don't seem in the mood, if I may say so. Is something wrong?"
"Nothing."
"I think the plan to leave everyone hidden in the rito village is good, you shouldn't worry about them. The village is practically impregnable, much more than the Eagle's Nest."
"I'm not worried about the plan, I know the plan will work. Lord Tyto has been so generous in welcoming everyone in his house that we are indebted with the rito, I'll have to tell Father as soon as I meet him."
"Then your problem is with your husband," she deduced. Never to speak or meddle in my affairs, she was as sure as her dagger.
"Link is an idiot," I growled, "that's all."
"I see..."
"And I don't want to share my tent with him tonight, if he plans to rest at some point," I burst. It was the truth, it made me so nervous that I knew I'd end up saying something I shouldn't before time. We weren't alone on the trip and I didn't feel like complicating things more.
"I can share it with you. He or one of the other two can keep my tent, I don't mind."
"Thank you, Impa."
Ardren and Fridd hunted three large lizards full of scales and skewers which they skinned like rabbits and roasted on the campfire. There was no cactus soup, but Impa wasn't far from the contents of the dinner menu.
"It smells great," link said, turning one of the lizards around to roast on the other side, "we have no animals like these in the West."
"If there were, the barbarians would have eaten them all," Ardren laughed, making the other two laugh. Impa and I sat together, near the tent she had set up for us, and exchanged a look as she unwrapped some salmon pie and vegetables.
"Do you want to try it?" Fridd offered us. He had chopped one of the lizards into more or less equal portions to share.
"No, thank you, Fridd," I smiled. He nodded and sat down to start eating.
For a few minutes we dined almost silently, Impa and I talked a little bit about the roads, about the ancient sheikah path that connected the hills to the entrance of the gerudo canyon, and some other topic about Hyrule. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Link with his mouth watering, devouring his lizard as if it were one of the delicacies served at our wedding.
"Are you going to eat the bones, too?" I said, no longer able to contain myself.
"It's good...", he said with his mouth full, "you want to?"
"Goddess, no..."
He shrugged and kept eating.
"Oh, Hyrule's pleasures are unrivalled," Ardren said, stretching out as he concluded his dinner, "you know? I composed a song while we were riding this morning."
"I'm sure you had it in mind before," Fridd grumbled.
"No. I was inspired and I thought of it on the fly. It's about a warrior maiden who belongs to a tribe and who travels the world fighting the spirits of evil. You want me to sing it? Zelda? Impa?"
"Better save the song for the castle," Link interjected, "this isn't a pleasure trip. There could be enemies hiding around us, we can't draw attention."
"Right, Captain. But even if I can't sing, I can hum it. Impa, do you have an interest in the song? I don't think I've ever sung or hummed when you were around."
"Stop talking rubbish, you're annoying the ladies," Fridd said, "Besides, this is a weird place, I notice it in my bones. You better not sing or hum anything."
"What do you mean, a weird place?" I asked, and I noticed a shiver in my back.
"There is like a presence..."
"There's no presence," Link snorted, "there will be no ridiculous songs or comments about presences tonight. The only presence is that of the wind on the rocks."
"You've ruined the fun, Captain," Ardren laughed, "well, in that case, since I don't have to do the first watch shift, I'm going to sleep. Gentlemen, take care. And to our lovely ladies I wish the best possible dreams. Dreams full of love and happiness."
He winked at us and slipped into his tent. Fridd and Link also stood up.
"It's true that we need to rest, tomorrow we will leave early," Link said, turning to me.
"Your Highness, I will sleep with you if that's fine with you," Impa intervened, quickly.
"Oh, thank you, Impa. Yes, we can share the tent tonight."
I know Link was petrified. I almost felt sorry to see his eyes trying to understand what had happened right under his nose. It was so cute that I was about to be overcome by my feelings for him again. But we were cruel. We didn't offer him Impa's tent before retiring for the night, we just left him immersed in his barbarian bewilderment.
I slept for at least three hours straight, but then I woke up. Impa lay beside me in such silence that it was as if she didn't even breathe... sheikah. I poked my nose through the fabric of the tent and saw Link sitting by our campfire, which had low flames but many glowing embers. I stuck my whole head out to get a good look. The night was cold, but not as cold as in the West, it was almost pleasant by comparison.
"Don't you sleep?" He asked me, without taking his eyes off the void.
"I woke up. And you?"
"It's my watch shift, though it's not like I'm too sleepy either. Some of the spirit of the hills won't let me sleep..."
"Very funny..."
"Don't worry, I'm sure they won't come near you while I'm around," he teased me.
I grabbed a blanket and went out to sit near the fire too.
"I wonder where the monsters will be," I yawned, "there were no footprints beyond Tanagar Canyon. It looks like they've been swallowed by the ground."
"It may be, in the West they dug tunnels. Did you bring the map?"
"For the umpteenth time: yes. If you're so worried about the map, I'll give it to you to take it yourself." I grumbled.
"No, it's fine like this. You think you can figure it out?"
I snorted and didn't say anything else.
"Okay, take it easy. I won't ask about the map anymore." He relented.
"You're going to go get that sword by yourself anyway, so maybe I should give the map to you and that's all."
"I haven't thought anything yet. I don't know what I'm going to do."
"Well... you should make up your mind."
"I know you think I don't care, but I do."
Oh okay, for his last growl it was clear that we were no longer talking about finding the magic sword.
"I don't think anything in particular, Link."
We were silent for a while, the truth is that it was okay just like this.
"Zelda, about the conversation the other day...
"Yes?"
"I don't want you to be-
"What's everybody doing out here?" Ardren showed up yawning, "it's my watch shift, but I don't know if it's needed if you are sleepless..."
"It's needed," I said, standing up, "Link hasn't slept at all and needs to do it to get his ideas straight, right?"
Link looked at me with his perplexed barbarian expression and had to swallow whatever he was going to say.
"Yes, Zelda is right," he babbled.
"Well, in that case I'm going to get some sleep too," I said, and I went back into my tent.
There was one more day's journey, a whole day in which we saw no trace of the enemy. We spent the night on the southwestern edge of the Hyrule plain, in the royal forest. It seemed to be close to the castle, but the reality was that we had almost another full day's journey ahead of us, and we wouldn't get home until late in the evening. Link and I didn't discuss anything important again, like the quest for the sword or what was going to happen with our engagement, and his silence only made me feel our bond more fragile than ever.
I don't know why, but when it was time to arrive at the castle, when we went through the gates of the citadel, I started to get very nervous. The moon was shining above our heads and only the hoofbeats of our horses echoed over the empty streets. It was quite late, the families should be asleep, quiet and safe in their homes. I felt homesick, I missed everyone much more than I thought I would. Suddenly, the thought of being me again, Princess Zelda Bosphoramus, began to be less dramatic. I would return to my routines, my familiar spaces and my old aspirations. I wasn't the only one who was a little shaken by the return. Link was much more nervous than I was. I could see it in his silence and also in his distant and stoic pose.
"Welcome back home, Your Highness," Gerry greeted us with a royal guard's patrol.
"Gerry! I'm so glad to see you, I hope you're all okay."
"We are very well, Your Highness, thank you," he drew a shy smile, "the King waits for you in his personal chamber, His Majesty knew you would be late and insisted on waiting. As you speak to the King, my men will escort your people to their quarters, everything is arranged to host you."
" I can also help Ardren and Fridd to familiarise themselves with the castle," Impa intervened.
"Great, let's go then," I smiled and walked to Father's chamber.
"His Majesty also hopes to receive Captain Link of the Eagle's Nest," Gerry hinted.
"Sure, I'm coming," Link said.
On our walk through the corridors of the castle I peppered Gerry with questions. Kahen and Gae were staying at the castle, Father wouldn't let them go anywhere because the meeting to discuss the war was imminent and required the presence of all the princes of Hyrule. I was deep in my interrogation when suddenly a familiar face appeared.
"Ah, thanks to the goddesses!"
"Amy!"
It was entirely breaking protocol, but Amy was accompanied by her daughters surely to prepare the quarters of all the guests and when I saw her I couldn't help but run to give her a hug. She squeezed me and soon cried.
"What have you done? What happened to your hair?"
"Don't worry, it'll grow," I smiled, and wiped out a couple of tears of emotion that had also slipped away from me.
"Goddess, it must have been terrible, my poor girl...," she grabbed a lock of my hair as if that were the greatest of all tragedies "the barbarians have taken your beautiful golden hair, what a great misfortune..."
"The barbarians haven' t taken anything," I looked at Link, who was clueless, "it was I who cut it and I have to say that I'm very happy with the result."
"Let the demons take me..."
"I think you look beautiful, Your Highness," said Mel, who repressed laughter at her mother's s aspires.
"Thank you! Are you all right?"
"Very well, thank you very much, Your Highness."
"Maybe if we braid it, it won't be so noticed," Amy said, thinking out loud.
"It's fine like this, really."
"And otherwise, are you still okay?" Amy inspected me from top to bottom this time. Oh, it took me a while to figure it out.
"There are no significant changes in me if that's what you're asking. It's just me."
"Oh, just you," she smiled.
"I have to meet Father, I'll look for you some other time to talk for a while, okay?"
"Thank you, Your Highness. It's a huge joy to have you back home."
I agreed to look for them the next day, after breakfast, they were probably overflowing with questions to ask me. Although of course, I would never be openly asked if I was pregnant or not as Aldry and the barbarians did. Everything would stay in a "are you sure you're still okay?" followed by scrutiny to see if there was any physical change on me.
"Zelda, my daughter," Father greeted us.
He was sitting behind his desk and the huge fireplace burned, illuminating the room even more than the candles and oil lamps. In that same room it was where he told me that I would have to marry Chief Grenmak's firstborn... about a million years ago, more or less.
When he approached me he just squeezed my hands, the truth is that he had never been too effusive in his displays of affection, it was as expected, especially if we were not alone. He then asked Link to stand up (I don't even know at what point it had occurred to him to bend the knee before Father), and asked Gerry to leave all three of us alone.
"I'm glad to see you safe and sound. Both of you. I know this hasn't been a risk-free journey, so it's a relief that you're okay. Take a seat, please," he himself sat in his chair again, behind the desk.
"Has any message from Lord Tyto arrived?" I anticipated. I was a little nervous and my palms were sweaty.
"Yes, one message arrived days ago. That's why I thought this meeting was necessary. Lord Tyto reported attacks in the West and that Nightfall was virtually devastated. I'm so sorry, Link."
He nodded, but he couldn't even look Father in the eye, he stayed serious and tense, that's all.
"What else did the message say?" I insisted.
"That's all. Any news?
"None at all."
Link frowned and looked at me in disguise.
"You have to worry about the dark army, the attack and the new enemy, but just don't be fooled, Father," I continued, "Link and I are fine and I'm very well and safe, despite what you may have heard. I'm fine where I am and there's no strange conspiracy around me if that's what Kahen told you. Link has fulfilled all his obligations by taking care of me even beyond what you can imagine, there is nothing strange and I am not inventing anything and I am not being coerced in any way by anyone, otherwise I wouldn't say it in front of him. I know I haven't written to you as much as I should, but Impa told me that the channels weren't safe and... And what the hell was the gerudo prince doing with Kahen? I don't know what they told you, but I've been worried for a long time-
"Stop, stop. Goddesses...," Father laughed, "I had almost forgotten what my young daughter is like. I didn't call you here to talk about that, your reply to my letter was so strong that I have no doubt about it. I don't want to talk about it anymore."
"Don't you?"
"I summoned you here to find out what happened at the border and in Ikana. That is what Lord Tyto reported and I thought it was important to send help to the West and prepare for what may happen here in our land."
"Oh."
"Captain Link, I'd appreciate it if you could tell me everything that's happened. As my daughter says, sometimes messages go through many mouths and can get distorted."
"Sure, Your Majesty."
Link recounted his entire odyssey, starting with the first siege of Fort Hawk, the kandar, the journey to Ikana. He didn't hesitate or omit any details and answered all Father's questions. But when he got to the point where he was coming back from fighting the black snake, I started to get nervous.
"... my father was feeling better, more recovered from his wound. Then he told me about the enemy attack, which they had passed through Nightfall destroying everything and I-
"You know the rest of it, Father," I intervened, without being able to take it anymore, "it's what Lord Tyto said in his letter. Right, Link?"
Link was petrified and unable to blink.
"Good. It's very troubling information," Father said, "joint decisions have to be made, because apparently the monsters are hidden we don't know where and they could attack from one moment to the next. As for that darkness... it's an issue that I have to deal with the sheikah, it's a problem that directly affects my family."
"Yes, I agree, Father."
"I don't want to kidnap you anymore, it's really late. You should go to rest, it's all set for it, and tomorrow we'll keep talking calmly."
"And Gae?"
"You'd better see him tomorrow, don't you think? It's bedtime, I don't think you should leave your husband at this hour to find your brother, knowing you'd spend the night without sleeping chatting with him. It's not the right thing to do, given your new position. As for dinner, I asked them to prepare something and take it to your quarters."
"... okay," I replied, a little perplexed. My new position? What position was that?
"Excellent. Gerry will accompany you and take care of anything you may need."
It was a pity not to be able to hug Gae that same night, but Father was right, it was too late, the castle was further away than it seemed, despite the frantic way Link had driven us all.
"Where are we going, Gerry?" I asked, seeing that we were deviating from the corridor leading to the west tower.
"The King has ordered special quarters to be given to you in the northern wing."
"What about my quarters?"
"I... I don't know, Your Highness. These are the king's orders.
I didn't want to put Gerry on the spot, the poor man was not to blame, but I was very surprised not to occupy my tower, not to go to my window, not to have Gae sleeping a few steps away from me.
Gerry left us in front of one of the largest rooms in the castle. Only used to receive important representatives from outside, the northern wing not only had huge rooms, but a private lounge and also direct access to the kitchens and service corridors.
We entered and everything was laid out and in order. I had servants who had never served me before and my maids weren't there. As soon as dinner was served, I begged them to leave, it was late and I didn't want to keep them busy filling our glasses, when it was something we were used to doing for ourselves.
"I'm so sorry that this makes you uncomfortable," Link said, breaking a long silence. So far we'd dinner without saying much, he looked at me often and I pretended not to notice.
"It's not that I'm uncomfortable... Father has given us the best area of the castle just for us. But it's weird. I feel a little weird being here and not in my usual quarters."
We just had dinner and I felt my eyelids starting to weigh.
"I can sleep here in front of the fireplace in this living room. It's a good stay, it looks comfortable," Link said, taking a look around us.
"Why would you sleep on the floor like a dog?
He shrugged.
"In case I bother you," he dared to say at last, "during the trip you slept with Impa."
"I still don't know how to feel about you, Link. I'd lie to you if I told you I'm not hurt... Never mind. Nothing's changed on my part about us, you know? So let's go to bed, please."
They hadn't taken our luggage to the quarters yet, although they had rescued one of my old nightgowns and left it ready for me, I'm sure it was Amy's idea. I undressed fast, turning my back on Link, who undressed three times faster than me. They had also left bedding for him, but he must not have liked it because after examining it and peering down the neck of his male nightgown as if it were a mystery hole, he discarded it to one side and decided that sleeping shirtless and in his pants was more than enough.
"Help me fasten the button on my back, please" I asked.
I forgot how nervous I was to see him shirtless. Like when he drew his barbarian paintings on his chest, or the night he suggested we break up, I wasn't used to seeing a man like that, let alone so close. He had a nice body, honestly.
"Thank you," I said when I felt his fingers move away from me.
I don't know why my mind was torturing me wishing his hands were still there much longer, if every time there was an approach he always ended up rejecting me or saying something painful. I felt like crying and I got into bed at full speed.
I noticed his weight in bed when the mattress gave way a little to his side.
"Good night," he said, before lowering the light of his oil lamp to a minimum. I did the same thing.
"Good night, Link, take a rest."
He tossed and turned several times on the bed. To one side, then the other. Each time he did so, he tugged at the blankets and the mattress lurched to his side.
"Link."
"I'm sorry. You just haven't told your father the truth. I can't sleep."
"What truth?"
"The thing that when I got back from Ikana, I didn't find you."
"It doesn't matter at all, since almost everyone was safe in hiding, so saying it or not doesn't change anything."
"But... he has to know. Lord Tyto knows I begged for help."
"Lord Tyto will never say anything, he promised us."
"It's the right thing to do."
"The right thing to do... you know? You don't have to look for excuses to break up a marriage, Link. It's enough to do it. If you insist, I'll tell father that I've reconsidered it, that... that it's over. We are over. I'll do it tomorrow at dawn, with the first ray of sunshine. We're at war and we can't save anyone being married anymore." I felt enormous anguish asphyxiating myself, luckily we were in the dark and I was turning my back on him.
"Your answer was strong. That's what your father said," he mused, after a while in silence. He completely ignored my threat, that's for sure.
"You made me believe that your promise was strong."
"It is."
Then don't separate from me, I thought. But I swallowed the words. I didn't want to keep looking like the silly, in love girl who doesn't know anything about life. He was as dumb as I was, as much as he liked to go around pretending otherwise. Dumb and stubborn. He had to realise that.
"Zelda, I-
"Don't… Link, please. I just want to sleep."