The colour of truth

I hardly slept a wink all night, but Link slept the whole time like a snow bear.

Goddess, goddesses. I don't even know how it all ended like this, I was supposed to be furious because he wanted to break up our marriage, because he disappeared for the whole day, he wasn't at the meetings, not when Kahen and father asked me about him, he was absent at dinner and to top it all he turned up late and smelling of tavern. How had he tricked me like that? And I had allowed him to grope me as much as he wanted, he kissed and touched as much as he saw fit. Goddesses, I couldn't even think about it without collapsing again. Calm down, Zelda. He knew what to do with a girl's body even if he said he'd never seen it. And I ended up encouraging him, damn it. What a way to pay for my anger.

I realised that under the sheets I was still naked and my clothes were far away from me, by the fireplace. I felt a sudden attack of shame. I mean, it was true that he looked and touched everything he wanted, that he was my husband and everything should be as normal as possible, but in the morning it was different, that's all. It was as if things were seen in a different light and I was a bit embarrassed to remember it. And he didn't take me like he did on our wedding day, but he managed to make me... he didn't even let me touch him in the same way and after such an outburst I didn't even know where I was. What would have happened if I had done to him what he had done to me? I felt a surge of heat that made me wriggle out of the sheets, I needed to clear the mess in my head.

I stood on tiptoe, trying not to make a sound, and managed to grab a blanket. He was still asleep, his mouth open on the pillow.

"Where are you going?"

Damn Link, he'd woken up. Or something, because he opened one eye and growled like a dog.

"The servants are going to come in from one moment to the next, I told them to come and wake us up."

Yes, I'd asked this to the service after dinner with the intention of punishing Link if he showed up in the early hours. I just wanted to annoy him, I didn't imagine other things would happen during the night, that was totally out of my calculations.

"What the hell are you doing with that, Zelda?"

"What do you think? I'm getting dressed."

It was hard to get dressed with the blanket over me, luckily I had always had good balance. I turned for a second in case he had decided to go back to sleep and saw him sitting on the bed with his eyes wide open, staring at me.

"My head hurts a lot," he protested.

"Good. You deserve it."

"Don't you have some herbs for the pain?"

"Not for you."

After several grunts he reacted and I heard him behind my back dressing too.

"Father and Kahen wanted to talk to you yesterday and you disappeared."

"What did they want to talk about?"

"I don't know, they didn't tell me anything. I had to tell them you were absent for something important."

"It was something important."

"Alright. I'm going to get the servants for a bath and breakfast."

"Wait," he held me, hunting my wrist on the fly.

When I looked at him again, the heat rose in my cheeks hopelessly. He was also stunned. He looked cute with the sheets marked on his face.

"Link?"

"Yes, I'm sorry. I just wanted..."

Regret, as always. He'd want to slow down, apologise for asking me to undress, or... I know. I know: say he was going to send me to some foreigner in the East to keep the Ikana wraiths away so he'd be free in the West to marry someone else who wouldn't give him trouble. I began to get impatient.

He came up to me and stroked my face. He kissed the tip of my nose and then stood there as if he was thinking about something.

"I'm afraid of what your father and Kahen can tell me."

"It doesn't have to be anything wrong," I hugged him and he surrounded me. Okay. That's exactly how I let myself be fooled the night before.

"Zelda, Hyrule's kandar is very strange. You'll think I don't care, but I've really tried to participate."

"I'll have to believe you, I guess," I separated from him.

"I've seen those guys talking in the meetings. I don't quite understand what some people are saying because they speak very strangely," he made me laugh, "but I don't think they're clear about the seriousness of the problems you and I have seen. I don't think many of them have killed a bokoblin in their entire lives. And most of all I'm most concerned about is that Prince Richard. I've watched him since we got here. He doesn't look bad, but he's not a warrior either. I'm a little confused about what you might have seen in him, I was hoping for something else."

"Are you jealous?"

"No, not jealous at all. It's just... I can't leave you in his hands. I… I can't leave you in the hands of any of those guys. Or your father's."

This time I burst out laughing, the kind of laughter that leaves him stunned.

"Good. It's time for the lesson two on Hyrule."

"Lesson two? Are you going to teach me lessons, too?"

"Lesson two: about the princesses of Hyrule," he looked at me with his eyes wide open and I had to hold my laughter because he was really serious and bewildered, "Hyrule's princesses are not an object left to anyone. In fact, this lesson extends to wives, not just princesses. They act on their own, and I know you it's hard for you to believe, but they also decide."

"They decide."

"That's it. Security isn't just up to you, Link. It's a family matter. I wish you wouldn't make those decisions on your own without counting on me, because this pact affects both of us, don't you think?"

"Yes, but if your father-

"My Father has no word on this. He should have thought twice before turning me in as payment for my brother's mistakes, because now there's nothing he can do about it. And neither can you."

The servants came into the room just at that moment and my chance of coaxing Link out was gone, for with so many people around he became nervous, the tips of his ears were red as a tomato. Besides, they started airing windows and sheets without any consideration. I'd forgotten how hateful life in the castle was sometimes.

"I'm leaving, I have a lot of things to do," I said.

"Yes, of course."

I greeted the servants and went looking for Gae. The night before I agreed with him that we would have breakfast together, he wanted us to drink Necluda wine as we did in the past, but I was too obfuscated by Link's absence for that. Many things crossed my mind when Link was absent. I thought he'd have been lost with Fridd and Ardren (discarded theory because they both showed up for dinner). I thought that maybe he decided to break our marriage on his own and he went back to the West, tired of the castle protocols… every thought was even worse than the previous.

"Little sister!" Gae greeted me when I showed up in our little breakfast room. His mouth was full and he hadn't even waited for me to start devouring the breakfast.

"I don't know where the manners of the princes of Hyrule have gone..."

"You mean Kahen?"

"Very funny," I sat down and grabbed some toast and jam.

"How was it last night? I hope you didn't scold Link too much, the poor guy was a little afraid," he joked. I tried to look impassive, of course, as if nothing that happened had happened.

"He told me he was with his uncle."

"I arranged it," he smiled with satisfaction, "I knew a delegation from Hateno was coming to the council and made sure his uncle was one of the governor's companions. By the way, since Link took the day off yesterday, maybe you could do something like that today. I think only the villages west of Farone beach are left to participate. They speak that strange dialect and it's going to be very boring."

"And why do I want a day off?"

"To investigate with me. No one would notice."

"Father would."

"No, Father has no idea. You know he always pushes us away in a corner and forgets about us."

"I don't know why you want to do that, I don't want to cause any confrontation with Father, not now," I said, somewhat upset. I did want Father to support my relationship with Link, I didn't want to upset him by any reason. I tried the bread, it was golden and crunchy, but Frea's jam was better by far.

"Kahen's been up to something for a long time, and you know it. He's the one who put all those wrong ideas about you and Link in Father's head."

"And you denied them..."

"Of course, I did! I told you!"

I snorted. I didn't like anything that had happened when I met Kahen and Ganondorf in the rito village, but in reality Kahen had been nice to me, it didn't seem as if he had come up with a horrible plan to separate me from Link. And if so, why had he done it? What motivated something like that?

"Kahen also left the meetings yesterday. The whole afternoon." Gae said.

"No, it's not true."

I tried to take a mental tour of what had happened at the previous day's meetings and...

"You didn't notice," Gae teased, "you were too busy thinking about Link."

"Shut up! If I didn't notice it's because there are too many people in those meetings," I protested, feeling warm on my cheeks. Really, Link and his behaviour were a huge distraction, and I felt a little stupid for not being more alert.

"In that case you'd realise Kahen's best friend wasn't there either."

"Has Ganondorf come to the castle?"

"Of course, he did... how could the geudo prince not attend the council? But he's shown very little, he didn't want to draw attention."

"That's not typical of him."

"That's why we have to find out what they're up to."

I wasn't too keen on getting mixed up in such shady business, but Gae was excited about the idea of searching Kahen's quarters and I was unable to convince him that it was a really bad idea. Anyway, if the two of us didn't go, he would go alone, and that was much, much worse.

As Gae and I made our way to the west tower (my tower, my real home in the castle), we met Kahen and Link, who were marching together to their meeting with father. Kahen cheerful and talkative, Link as if he were being led to the gallows to be beheaded. He looked at me for a moment with puppy eyes, begging for salvation, but he had to talk to Father, he had to do it as captain of the West, that's all, so we just said goodbye to them.

"I'll leave you in your quarters, Zel. I think Amy and her daughters have prepared a bath for you, just for the old times," Gae smiled, "then I'll look for you to execute the plan."

Goddesses, what an impression when I entered my quarters. Everything seemed smaller, as if it had shrunk. But the room was enveloped in the familiar smell of the soap they used for my bath, the lavender of the sheets and bedding... I felt a little pang of nostalgia, why deny it, because now it wasn't that I felt far away from there, it was that I knew I could never go back to my old life without suffering a huge emptiness.

"Your Highness, I'll take care of your bath," Mel smiled. There was only her there, Amy and her sister Lel were supposed to be helping some of the guests, there were many staying in the castle.

I undressed and got into the water, which was at the perfect temperature.

"Oh, you don't have to soap me," I reacted, seeing Mel grab the sponge to rub my back.

"Princess?" She froze at the spot. Actually, my maids always, always, took care of me.

"I'm sorry, forget what I said. Go on with what you were doing," I decided. It wasn't right to upset her like that, "no one's been bathing me for a long time."

"Don't you have maidens in your home in the West?"

"I decided not to have them."

"Strange... is it a barbarian custom?"

"No, it's just that in the West, life is simpler. Link wanted me to have them, but I thought it was better to forget the idea. Still, there is a family that takes care of everything in the fortress, though not my personal care."

For a while she was soaping me, rinsing and repeating. Her silence was pleasant; if Amy had been there, she wouldn't have stopped chattering.

"Prince Link is very handsome," she said, suddenly.

"Prince Link?"

"Yes," she smiled, "all the maids in the castle don't talk about anything else. It's a shame he didn't stay here during your wedding preparation."

"I've never heard them call him prince."

"He's the most handsome prince who's ever visited the castle."

"I... I hadn't thought of it that way..."

"Well, Lel doesn't talk about anything else. and... you know I'm not one to ask, but if I don't, my sister would kill me."

"Go ahead," I grinned.

"How long is his hair? Lel's a little obsessed with him."

"Well, it comes right over his shoulders."

"He seems noble and chivalrous. Lel says she served him breakfast the other morning and he did nothing but apologise for everything, in case he was doing something wrong," Mel laughed.

"He's not used to castle protocols."

"You are lucky, Your Highness. You married due to a terrible event, but your husband seems to be kind and honest. That's what my sister and I think."

"Yes, it's true," I admitted, "Link is very kind. He's the kindest man I know. He's kind, strong and cares about everyone."

"I'm happy for you, Your Highness."

That bath only served me to make me feel a flutter of butterflies in my stomach when I saw Link through other eyes, and to be forced to take away from my head the idea of Link and I breaking up, for whatever reason. My barbarian was a prince, true, and he was also handsome and charming and had nothing to envy of any of the nobles who had visited the castle. I felt some pride in seeing that my maidens were also able to appreciate it.

As if I were floating in a cloud of stupidity and confusing images from the night before I arrived at the east tower, which is where Kahen and his trusted men were staying. I had agreed to meet Gae there once I finished my bath and he would finish his duties.

"You are far from the throne room."

I didn't even have to turn around to find out who it was.

"Prince Ganondorf, you around here," I tried to smile.

"Nice to see you, Princess Zelda," she kissed my hand, "Hyrule suits you."

"Thank you. So… what are you doing in the east tower."

"I had a meeting with the King. I'll walk you to the throne room, the next meeting in the council is going to take place there."

"Oh, you don't have to. I feel like staying here for a while." I started to get nervous.

"But the meetings will begin shortly, aren't you going to attend?"

"Of course I'm going to attend."

"Then we should go now or we'll be late..."

"Prince Gandondorf is not your business if I-

"I'm bothering you, I'm sorry," he apologised. He looked tired. There were dark circles under his eyes.

"No, excuse me. I've been rude to you," I admitted, "I'll just go later, it has nothing to do with you accompanying me. My brother Gaepora said he'd look for me around, so I'd rather wait for him, that's all."

"I apologise," he smiled. It was a tired but sincere smile, "this is your house, I shouldn't have intruded. I'll see you later."

"Yes, of course."

He bowed with his head and walked away in a gloomy step.

Later the fool Gae arrived, late and strolling as if he was on a hike. He was too much of a kid for me to take his ideas and conspiracies seriously.

"Where the hell have you been?" I scolded him.

"Don't worry, I was with Impa. She wants me to start a new workout. Okay, you ready?"

"No, Gae. He's seen me, we can't now."

"Who saw you?"

"Ganondorf. He must stay in Kahen's tower, we should have thought about it."

"But he's not here, he must be at this morning's meeting."

"Yes, but he's seen me and expects to see me there. If we stay, they'll be suspicious, and if we make a slight mistake, they'll know it was us."

"Damn it."

"It'll have to be some other time."

"You're not backing out..."

"Gae, I'm not sure this is a good idea."

"This is our chance, Zel, we mustn't let our guard down."

"Alright, it's okay. But not now."

I got him to reluctantly follow me. It was best to go to the morning meeting and see if there was any option to sneak out, making sure that both Kahen and Ganondorf were there, and that no one would suspect if we were away.

The hall was half full when we arrived, Gae and I occupied a position on the side, near the throne, but at the same time near a corridor with an exit to our target. We were in sight and at the same time not too exposed. A goron emissary asked permission to speak, even though the goron had already participated on the first day. I tried to look focused, but I was really trying to hunt down Kahen and Ganondorf. Aha, they had also positioned themselves to one side, near a possible exit. The good thing was that this corridor led them away from the east tower, so Gae and I were at an advantage.

"What do you smell?"

I felt a shiver run up and down my spine, and my stomach filled with butterflies.

"Link, if you ever come near me like that again, you'll pay dearly."

"You smell different," he continued sniffing my hair and neck like we weren't surrounded by a thousand people. It tickled me every time I felt his nose close.

"Be still. I've taken a bath, it's the soap my maids use."

"Not bad, but I like the way you smell better."

I don't know why that made me feel that uncontrollable warmth again.

"Have you spoken to Kahen and Father?"

"Yes," he clung to my back slyly, contacting me deliberately, "I'll tell you later."

Goddesses, damn Link.

"Well, I'm glad you settled that with them. Have you drink mead again?"

"No," he grinned.

Having him so close made me lose sight of everything that was going on, and before I realised it, I'd lost sight of Kahen and Ganondorf.

"Zel, here," Gae whispered, beckoning me from the corridor.

"Where are you going?" Link said, frowning as soon as he noticed me taking off from him. For me it was also nice to stay that way, a little fused with his body, to feel him was like floating, but it wasn't the right place for... Besides, Gae was waiting for me.

"Don't even think about following me," I threatened Link. He blinked a couple of times with a goofy look and stood there. Luckily Fridd showed up and Link had no choice but to hold on.

Gae and I ran down the corridor. Apparently, Ganondorf and Kahen were engaged in an argument with the governor of Farone, the perfect opportunity to slip away unseen.

"Are you okay?" Gae asked, as we both ran through the service passages, draining as the sheikah did.

"Yes, just a bit sulky, I'll get over it."

"You're red as a tomato," he laughed, "what's going on?"

"Nothing. Maybe it's lack of training… we are running fast."

It was Link's fault, that's it. He made me lose control of myself.

For a brief, fleeting second, like a sigh, I thought we shouldn't do that. It wasn't right, it was like taking childish sibling squabbles to an unacceptable extreme. How would I feel if Gae or Kahen came into my quarters to search? How would I take it if I knew they suspected I wasn't acting right? I would feel so hurt that it would be hard to forget.

"He doesn't have to know," Gae said, guessing my doubts.

I sighed and started checking the quarters. Gae barred the door so that no one would catch us in the act, but if they did, the only alternative plan was to hide under the bed like two stupid kids.

Kahen didn't keep much there. He didn't like to read, he wasn't a sheikah archaeology enthusiast, he had no apparent hobbies. He kept a lustrous collection of swords, though. Most of them with brilliants set into the pommel, gold inlaid... he was nothing like Link's armourer. Link came in one day so happy to say that he had forged an axe from an old piece of sickle for mowing grass and smiled happy as if it were made of gold. His weapons were not of a fine workmanship like Kahen's, my brother's collection looked more like a big boy's pile of toys than anything else.

"I don't know what the hell we're looking for, Gae...," I whispered, a little tired.

"A letter, a document, something that proves a pact with Prince Ganondorf."

I swear to the Goddess that I was about to send Gae to hell, when I saw something that caught my eye. It was an object that didn't fit, it had nothing to do with everything in Kahen's quarters. A well-closed linen sachet with a bow.

I pretended until Gae decided that there was nothing of interest to us, I kept a small part of what I had found inside the sachet in my cleavage, inside the corset of my dress. I even pretended I hadn't found anything... because if it was true what I had seen I didn't even know how to handle something like that, and all I wanted to do was run out of the castle.

My brother was disappointed for the rest of the evening and seemed to have lost the illusion of continuing his intrigues. Soon we were called to dinner in the great hall, and there was no reason for trying to find out where my brother or Prince Ganondorf had got to. It was a relief to see them appear with the rest of the guests, after a final day of discussions that led nowhere and in no way showed the real danger that lurked in Hyrule.

That night they served grilled sea bass and strawberry shortcake, my favourite, but I was so distressed that I didn't feel able to eat without throwing it all out. Link's hand on my forehead brought me back to reality.

"Are you sick?" he asked, frowning.

"I'm fine," I gently pulled away his hand, but he kept frowning with the same insistence.

"You're pale as the shell of an egg."

"I may be a little indisposed."

I couldn't look him in the eye. He could never, ever, know what I'd discovered in Kahen's quarters.

"You should go to sleep if you feel tired. I'll stay here, I'll tell them you were indisposed."

I looked up at Father. He was distracted talking to my brother and one of the zora emissaries about matters that had nothing to do with Ikana or the attack on the West. It was all a waste, why? I really felt a little dizzy.

"You're right, Link. I'm going to rest for today," I accepted. That didn't erase the wrinkles of worry from Link's forehead.

I got up to retire and told Gae I was indisposed. His prince manners prevented him from asking what the hell was wrong with me, but I could read in his eyes the question he didn't get to ask me.

"Don't worry, tomorrow I'll be fine, for sure," I forced a smile on Link.

When I got to our quarters, I looked for a clean and transparent vase and some water, which I warmed up in the chimney fire. I carefully took out what I had hidden in my corset.

"There is still minimal hope..."

I sprinkled some into the vase and the water soon turned a yellowish colour, like the wildflower tea used to soothe a stomachache. There was no doubt about it. Had there been fewer dregs, or had the water been a different colour... but this being the case, there was no doubt that what Kahen held were Eyes of Death.

The next step was difficult, because I felt more hurt and attacked than ever in my life, and it was dangerous, because I didn't know if anyone else was involved. But I had to find out the reasons that had led my brother to try to poison me.

Tortured by my theories, I couldn't get to sleep, but when I heard Link coming into the room I pretended to do so. I felt his presence approaching to check my condition, he even put his hand on my forehead to see if I had a fever or not. Link couldn't know, if he found out Kahen had tried to kill me, he'd spark a war against Hyrule, or... I don't know, the barbarians made abrupt decisions, and even more so my husband, who already had a dark story with Kahen.

After fluttering awkwardly around the room, trying in vain not to make a sound, he climbed into bed. Thank the goddesses he snuggled against my back and gave me a shy kiss on my neck, like the one he had given me long ago, when we were just getting to know each other.