Power
I cried when Link couldn't see me. It was beyond my strength, the certainty that every step would lead to a greater tragedy.
Enemies were everywhere.
As we moved north towards the central plain of Hyrule, we saw war, looting, burnt villages, families torn apart, and the dead piled up in grey unburied mounds.
We lived in the absence of information, no more hawks, no messages on one side or the other. All we had left was to entrust ourselves to the goddesses so that others would be safe from war. At night we were looking for a quiet, secluded place. Link, Ardren, Ganondorf and his gerudo went hunting monsters to protect the camp, because at night it was when there were more monsters, darkness was their refuge. I was staying with Kahen and Impa, quietly, no one opened the mouth to say anything. I felt immense bitterness if fewer came back at dawn than had left. "Stop counting, damn it," Link would say to me, as if it annoyed him that I was worrying, as if it reminded him that in reality we were always going to be one less because Fridd was no longer with us.
He lived in a disturbing state of wakefulness. The tension of war had taken hold of him, like a sickness, he lived clinging to his sword and weapons. He was always sharpening his senses, like a wild animal that feels stalked all the time, ready to sink his fangs into whatever he felt was a threat. He hardly slept, and when he did he was plagued by nightmares. He suffered without measure for the loss of Fridd, and for knowing nothing of the West, nor of his family in Necluda. Somehow he took it all on his shoulders.
I felt completely useless. Not that I was useful at any point in my life, but in the middle of a war I was nothing more than a hindrance, something that forced Link to protect me, I was guilty of not being able to keep an eye on him in case we were ambushed, or in case that creaking branch really was a horde of moblins lurking to spear me through the heart. I wish I could do more than set up or take down camp as if hypnotised, more than make tourniquets or prepare insipid stews made of roots and wild herbs.
Link was preparing for a new hunt. I could see the weariness in his eyes, the awkward way he had of girding his sword belt. He dragged his feet a little, I knew him well enough to notice that, because he was so light-footed that sometimes I thought he could walk without hardly touching the ground.
"There will be no hunts tonight, no expeditions, nothing." I said, standing up.
"Zelda... " Link approached me, trying to hold me.
"You're not going anywhere, neither you nor the others."
"I think the princess is right," Impa said, "we are all exhausted. We need to recover before going to get them again."
"One of the gerudo explorers says there's a moblin camp a few miles from here, they've looted the village by the river," he justified himself, still determined to gird his sword tightly.
"And that camp will remain there tomorrow if I'm not wrong. You need to rest. Tiredness is as dangerous as that horde you say."
"I agree with Princess Zelda," Ganondorf intervened, "the troops came back somewhat depleted last night. The morale of my army is not the same, there are starting to be too many casualties."
"Nothing will happen if you stay here one night, just one," I said, though Ganondorf's words seemed to have convinced him more than mine.
"Alright," he said, "but we'll have to keep an eye on the camp anyway."
"Watching is not the same as going out looking for monsters in the dark," I replied.
He deliberately avoided looking at me and took a long swig from his canteen.
"I'm going to find Ardren to let him know that we stay. We'll set up camp."
He walked away in strides, frowning. He was a stubborn barbarian, but I wasn't going to let him keep making a fool of himself and putting himself at risk to appease the pain. I was sorry too, hell, and I had to deal with the fact that I feared something bad would happen to him every time I let him out of my sight.
Impa lit a fire and asked me to sit there. According to her, I had to rest too, so I dropped by the bonfire while the others were setting up tents and lighting a few more fires. The fire made us visible in the middle of the night, but the monsters had begun to fear us, so in a way it was almost an advantage to be visible in the dark.
"Does it hurt?" I asked Ganondorf. He was the only one who had sat nearby.
He had a nasty wound on his forearm, the cut of a spear, the result of the last brawl. His women had healed it, but it was deep and from his grimaces it must have been quite painful.
"Not much," he said, unbuttoning the sleeves of his armour.
"I was going to prepare some pain potion for Link. I'll do something for you, too."
"Thank you."
"It's strange to see you without your usual sense of humour," I said. I actually missed my own sense of humour and it seemed as if I expected it at least from him. Ganondorf had always shown a penchant for humour and irony, but there was no trace of that left.
"Yesterday two of my best warriors died. Here. In this country they still don't recognise as their country," he lamented.
"Hyrule will always appreciate what you do and what you have done. But I can't promise you the same as Kahen. I don't even know why he promised you anything at all."
"Yes, and that's the problem. Doing what I do is never enough," he smiled, waving his head. Then he took a swig of his liquor canteen and offered it to me.
"This war is yours," I said. I accepted the liquor drink and that made me cough and he laughed a little bit, "you provoked this war with my brother."
"If I tell you that I swear to all the gods that I never thought it would end like this, you don't believe me, do you?" He looked at me and I shrugged. "I swear anyway."
"What the hell were you both thinking? Did Kahen really believe that if he conquered the West, Father would name him King of Hyrule? Did you think my brother would declare the independence of the canyon and the Gerudo Desert? You look like two stupid kids."
"My only way to get freedom was that. He promised me," he said, frowning, "since I couldn't, I don't know… marry a princess."
Okay, his mood was back and made me smile, even though it was a little surreal, I couldn't help it.
"I wouldn't have chosen you."
"Oh, of course not... you only had eyes for the brave Prince Richard of Lumbar."
"I'll take your jealousy as a compliment," I laughed, " I know for a fact that bravery wasn't one of Richard's qualities."
"Eloquence perhaps? Was the suitor a great speaker?"
"You know he's not... his verbosity was unbearable. But conversation is overrated nowadays." This time it was he who gave a laugh.
"Of course, you'd talk more than enough for both of us."
"See? Another reason not to choose you, you would not let me be the one to speak in the important matters... all the time interrupting me with your ironic jokes..."
"My dear princess, what annoys me the most about all this is that you didn't even let me make the court properly, I'd have surprised you for the better."
"I had my plans," I smiled, "I just wanted to run away from Father and marriages. If I'd married someone like you, it would have been a very political union. And I wouldn't have found peace or freedom."
"I would have given you all the freedom. And the gerudo women would adore you, they'd have seen a strong leader in you."
"But you'd have used me to fight Father, just as you have used my brother Kahen."
Any hint of a smile was wiped from his face and he looked down at the fire.
"Your brother also has his ambitions. Some of them are very dangerous."
"I know what he did, I'm not stupid. Nor am I a child, as you both have insisted on believing. I found out about the Eyes of Death. You will not deny that you are an accomplice."
"Only connoisseur. I'd never have advised anything like that to your brother. My intentions went in a different direction."
"Which direction?" We both turned to see that Link had returned, at last free of weapons and armour.
I grabbed his hand so that he would sit next to me. I knew that my contact with Link had a certain mediating effect, it wasn't the first time I'd observed it. Ganondorf wasn't in the mood to refute anything either, he was just as exhausted as Link, so he offered him his drink and Link accepted it.
"Captain Link, I didn't know about the mushrooms until it was late," he said, almost in a whisper, "until it was done. Although I am guilty of spying on you, there are sheikah living in the desert, they belong to a different tribe. We are allies. We trade, we have business in common... We were protecting each other. They're on my side in my duties. So... I convinced Kahen to use them as spies. If he'd used those clumsy men he has at his service, you'd have found out. And it was impossible for Hyrule's sheikah to accept something like this without reaching Impa's ears. I'm not proud of it, but yes, we're following our plan to win back the west. Desert spies simply warned the prince that Captain Link often left his home. One of those many absences was enough for the prince to carry out some plan. But I swear I didn't know what Kahen's real intentions were, and if I'd known, I'd have tried to stop him."
Link said nothing, he just squeezed my hand when he heard about "Captain Link often leaving his home." I squeezed him back to convey to him that "it doesn't matter, it's forgotten... I love you."
"So, which was that direction you're talking about?" Link reiterated, still tense.
"You already know, the Ikana riots. We thought if there was a war at the border, you'd end up needing Hyrule's help. And there we were, the prince and I with our troops, lurking."
"Provoking a war with Ikana is a very serious issue, Prince Ganondorf," Link said, "I won't mention how stupid your plan seems to me, nor the lives it has cost. The worst part is, we know someone on our side had to favour that. I am Captain of the West, and when I return home, when it is all over, I will have to call my people to account and find out who betrayed us."
"I don't know the details," Ganondorf sighed, "but I know the pact was done by Kahen's men, those guys who always accompanied him in the castle offered gold to the barbarians while they were at Hyrule, for your wedding."
"It could be anyone, then. All the damn barbarians who inhabit this world came to the wedding," Link snorted.
"I'm sorry I don't know any more."
"Well, there will be time for that and to clear it all up," I intervened, "we have now bigger problems."
"Do you think your father will overlook this?" Ganondorf half-smiled, "he will look for a culprit. And it won't be his son, the crown prince."
"I am also the King's daughter, and I know everything that has happened."
"Would you speak up for me?" There was real disbelief on his face, but also a kind of... a glimmer of hope.
"I will speak for the truth, Prince Ganondorf."
"I'm becoming more and more sorry that I didn't court you with all my might," he joked, regaining his sneering smile, "anyway, I'm going to check that my captains are fine. I'll see you tomorrow."
When Link saw Ganondorf walking away, he too stood up and looked for an excuse not to be alone with me. It made me realise that if he had come to my side, it was only to prevent me from being with the gerudo prince.
"Don't go, please," I said, pulling his hand, "I need to be with you for a while."
He snorted, tired even to fight me. I pulled him along and we sat down at the foot of a tree, a little further away from the camp. First I inspected his wounds, old and new, and I had to put up with his grunts and his mania for downplaying everything.
"At this rate I will return to the Nest with half my husband," I protested.
"Maybe not even that."
"Link, please."
"I was just kidding, Zel," he grinned.
"Gae always calls me that. Do you think he'll be okay?"
"I hope Hyrule Castle holds up. Their defences are bigger than anywhere else. and... Lord Tyto and his birds will defend their village well. If they destroy the bridges, the enemies could only get to the rito through the air, and that's almost impossible."
"I also hope the twins are okay, and everyone else," I said, squeezing his hand, once I'd finished changing his bandage.
"Zelda, the last trial may be the most dangerous. Nothing to do with the riddle of the first, nor the horror of the second. If I die-
"Don't."
"Let me explain," he caressed my face and forced me to look at him. His cheeks were dirty from the road and the battles, but his blue eyes shone like two precious stones, clean and oblivious to the darkness. "If I die, you will be the Lady of the Nest. Nothing can change that, neither my Dad nor any stupid barbarian from the West, is that clear enough?"
"I couldn't go back there without you," I felt two tears roll down my face.
"You could. You're strong."
"No, Link..."
"You're the strongest of all of us here. I think fate will test us all, but I trust you."
"I don't know what I could do, except get in the way."
He hugged me and then we kissed. Goddess, I needed to feel that way again. I needed it, but at the same time I was afraid that one day, after another battle or after a new ambush, he wouldn't come back to me. That I couldn't feel his lips warm and soft on mine again. I broke the kiss, a little troubled by the idea.
"I'm afraid of that fate you're talking about," I admitted, "and what the spirits could tell you."
"And yet we'll have no choice but to face it, or it will be the end of the world as we know it."
"The end of the world sounds even worse..."
"Let's not think about it anymore for tonight," he said, grimacing in pain before standing up, "let's rest for a while with Impa and Ardren."
The journey to Akalla served only to make me feel that nothing would ever be the same again. It was absurd, but I felt as if inside me I knew we wouldn't return to the Eagle's Nest. I might not even make it back to the castle, I'd never see Gae or father again. I've always overdrawn my thoughts, so I would torture myself sometimes thinking that "every step is my last, I will never set foot here again", "every step takes me further and further away from home", "I won't go home with Link". He was beside me and I felt him far away, as if he had gone somewhere. I don't know if he was avoiding me too, because looking into my eyes made him more aware of everything.
I know I wasn't the only one tormented by dark thoughts. Kahen looked sick. I could see the terror in his eyes, but damn it, he had brought it on himself. Could I ever forgive someone who had got us into such trouble? When I told Ganondorf that I'd only tell Father the truth, it was true, but did that excuse everything they had caused? The number of victims was uncountable, no longer just our losses, but those of an entire kingdom. There were monsters, so many that we had begun to avoid them or we would never reach the Spring of Power. And... once there, what?
We arrived at night, on foot, bypassing the heart of one of the gorges of the southern mountain range of Akalla.
The full moon broke through the clouds to illuminate the access to the spring. Behind us was the Akalla guard post, where we had originally taken refuge. It had been abandoned and razed to the ground, only the remains undestroyed by enemy fire and arrows and weapons everywhere. Still, the others insisted on continuing, Ardren and Impa as close to me as if they were my own shadow.
The access to the Spring of Power had a secret entrance, which my brother and I knew about. It was only difficult to find for those who didn't know where it was.
"I'll go alone," Kahen said, moving forward.
"No, I have to go too," Link intervened, his hand circling the handle of his sword.
"It's a sacred place, if we want to awaken the power of my family to banish monsters, I have to go alone. You have seen it, they have even wiped-out entire families, they don't seek battle. They seek to destroy everything in their path."
"Then I'll keep a close eye," Link insisted.
"I'm sorry, Captain. You must stay behind with the others."
"Link is right," Impa said. She had barely intervened in any decision since Fridd's death, but as always, she was attentive to any minimal movement, "Prince Kahen... this can be dangerous. Link can alert us if something goes wrong and we'll act on time."
"You'll stay behind me, alright?" Kahen growled at Link.
They both went through the crack in the rock. The night grew dark and clear as the clouds passed over the full moon. We all waited alertly, watching our surroundings for the return of the wraiths and monsters, in case it was all just an ambush, a new trap of the enemy.
"It's possible that our destiny will end here," Ganondorf whispered beside me. I thought he'd do like the others, try to calm me down like I was the only one terrified. But no, he almost read my mind.
"We can save ourselves," I insisted, lying to myself.
"I hope you can save everyone," he said, bending his lips in a fleeting smile.
"Everyone means you too."
"No, I'm already cursed," he waved his head, "I was born this way, a bastard. And all my life I've run away from that curse. But it's inevitable. That's why we're here, maybe it's the right thing to do."
"It may have all started badly, but you're fighting to save Hyrule."
"When it's too late for me, don't hesitate to do whatever it takes," he smiled.
I was about to reply when a huge roar erupted from the Spring of Power.
"Princess, take cover!" Impa said. Ardren practically jumped on me, like a human shield.
"I will not allow anyone else in this group to suffer, we owe it to Fridd," he whispered.
"Link! Kahen!" I screamed.
There was no response, just another kind of shriek, like a high-pitched, shrill whistle. Then Link and Kahen came running out of the cave, their faces unhinged, and behind them a huge black head with two long fangs broke through the rock and crawled, snapping after them. It was the dark serpent Link had told me about.
"Run! Get out of here!" Link yelled at us.
The snake was half a corporeal substance, something difficult to describe. It squealed before it started biting, raising its neck and destroying everything in its way.
"Impa, take Zelda!" Link ordered. He pulled out the bow and arrows, but his shots flew through that thing's insubstantial body.
"Princess, come on," Impa grabbed my arm and pulled me away.
"Kahen!"
My brother had stood in the serpent's way, facing it and calling out to the goddesses, eyes closed and arms open. Nothing came, no holy power, nothing. Then something grotesque happened, the monster's body twisted and folded in on itself, like a black stream, and entered my brother's eyes, mouth, nose and ears. His whole body shook violently as he absorbed the monster.
"It's trying to get hold of his body," Impa said. We had both froze on the spot and couldn't keep our eyes off.
When there was no substance left to go inside Kahen, he took a couple of shaky steps, barely able to stand. It was frightening, he was swollen, his eyes had turned completely black.
"Kahen..."
We heard a cracking sound. It was horrible, terrifying. We heard each of my brother's bones breaking into a thousand pieces. Kahen exploded from within, and the snake rose again, looking for a new host.
"No..."