Darrel Curtis:
5AM was his favourite time of day. Even on a weekend he made the effort to get up early and watch the sunrise. It was the one time when he had peace.
Aside from the gentle sound of his two brothers snoring in their room the house was so quiet, the dawn light streaming through the windows. He had time to read or plan or just sit alone in the stillness.
On that particular Sunday he was drinking coffee on the couch and watching a stray kitten play with a paper bag outside on the road. Sundays were always a family day, luckily his boss was a God fearing fella who believed in at least one day of rest per week... Although Darry got two, his boss also knew about his situation with the boys. He usually got a full weekend, although once in a while he'd trade with one of the guys, depending on what needed doing.
He made mental list of stuff around the house that needed fixing. Nothing huge, his father had been a fine carpenter, the structure was still sound. But the shower tiles needed re-grouting, the faucet in the kitchen had a leak. Little things that added up.
He'd probably rope Soda and Pony into helping him… He was already preparing for the whining that his youngest brother would surely start up when 'ordered around'. He sighed deeply.
It wasn't that he didn't want Pony to have fun, and to be a kid for as long as possible... But he just couldn't afford for the kid not to help out around the house, not to learn to be self sufficient too. Other boys might get away with not knowing how to change a tyre or fix a broken toilet. But Pony wasn't one of them. Darry knew better than anyone that the support you thought you had could disappear in a flash. Fast as lightning. So you'd better learn how to depend on yourself for help.
He narrowed his eyes as a car pulled in across the street, It was Buck Merill's T-Bird. Shit! Really? It was too early to deal with Dally. What now? is the little shit hiding from the cops again? He frowned when he saw Johnny riding shotgun. A large cardboard box in his lap.
He'd been working pretty late that week and hadn't seen Johnny for a couple of days, which was unusual. He'd generally be around somewhere in the background of their daily lives, present in his quiet way. But he hadn't thought too much of it. Now seeing the thin, pale face peering out from under the dark mop of dirty hair... He felt a cold finger of anxiety run down his back. It was a particular, painful, dark anxiety that only every really pertained to Johnny.
Johnny's clothes always ran small for him. His ankles and wrists always poking out too far, shoulder seams tight. He didn't have much and the only replacements he got were cast-offs from the rest of them. Mostly from Dally. That was Dally's old jean jacket Johnny was wearing up around his ribs. Darry made a mental note to pull out some of their less worn clothes for him. He was skinny enough that Pony's old clothes would probably leave him growing room. He was filthy too, like he'd been sleeping in the dirt all week… He actually might have.
Darry had never sat Johnny down and found out how much he ate or how often. He just made sure there was always enough in the pot for him if he should show up. Never asked him if he needed money or what for, just slipped him the occasional five dollar bill when he could afford it. Never demanded he sleep at their house instead of outside in the lot. But he always left the window unlocked and a blanket on the back of the couch.
He wasn't Darry's kid to protect. No matter how much he wanted to wrap him in cotton wool, No matter how hard he and the others tried to insinuate themselves between Johnny and his bad luck... The world had other ideas.
They got out fo the car and began to walk over. Johnny holding the box like it was made of gold. He cast his dark eyes downward and a fond smile ghosted across his face.
Oh… No! He'd better not have a puppy in there! We can't afford a dog! Ponyboy would fall in love with it and he'd be the bad guy (again) for not letting him keep it.
He never asked Johnny where the bruises came from. He didn't have too. He had a few new ones today. Not from when he got jumped a few weeks before, too fresh for that.
He shuddered at the memory of carrying him inside that night. He and Soda undressing him and trying to bathe his injuries in the bathtub with warm water and iodine while he sobbed and begged for them not to touch him. All the while listening to Pony weeping outside the door.
Eventually Johnny had become so hysterical that Dally had to be called in. It was amazing how calm the kid got when he saw him. Co-operating with his every command and even allowing him to check the places he and Soda couldn't. He'd never seen Dally that gentle with anyone or anything before in his life.
Darry had been terrified that night in a way he hadn't been since his parents died. He felt like everything was spiralling out of control like a cyclone laying waste to his life.
He'd spent the next few days off work, spoon feeding the kid soup in his own bed 'cause Johnny's mouth was so cut up he couldn't eat anything else and his hands shook too badly to even hold the spoon himself. He'd spent a full week in Darry's bed, recovering from that beating, and his parents hadn't even come looking for him.
What now Johnnycake? What new way have you found to break my heart today?
He watched them as they looked around and then headed around the house to the back door. Clearly not wanting to be seen by any early birds out there. They needn't have worried. The neighbours wouldn't be awake for hours. Hell,even the garbage men and paperboys weren't up yet.
He opened the door before they could knock and wake the boys. They skulked in like fugitives, Dally pushing Johnny ahead of him.
"Whats going on?" Darry demanded in a loud whisper.
Dally went straight down the hall into Darry's bedroom, he drew the drapes closed and turned on the lamp. While Johnny put the box on the bed and started rooting around in it.
"What the hell are you doing here boys? Why are we in my bedroom?"
"We need your help!" Dally said breathlessly, openly freaking out in a thoroughly new way. "We dunno where else to go!"
Darry didn't have to wonder why when he turned to see what, or rather who, Johnny held in his arms.
"Oh… Oh Glory!"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"In the lot?" He struggled to control his anger as he paced the room. Some bastard had left a little baby in the goddam lot?
"Yeah man! That what I said, she was in the bushes!" Johnny rocked the baby up and down as she began to wail. She had a good healthy set of lungs on her that was for sure.
"She's hungry." Johnny said, scowling at them like it was their fault.
She was a very, very young baby. The youngest he could remember seeing with the exception of his own brothers when they came home from the hospital. Certainly the smallest he'd ever seen.
"Can I hold her?" He asked Johnny gently, sitting beside the boy. Now that he saw him up close the kid looked wreaked. Johnny hesitated. Looking up at him with those big, distrustful eyes and pulling her closer to his chest.
"I'll be real careful Johnnycake... I promise."
Reluctantly he handed the infant over. Darry placed her gently on the bed and opened the blanket. She was naked but for a badly folded newspaper diaper. The poor little thing couldn't be comfortable in that. He took it off and checked for a rash. She looked ok. The stump of the umbilical cord was shrivelled, dry and black, he thought that it was supposed to be. It looked about ready to fall off.
"How old do you think she is?" He asked them. Johnny was sitting on the bed biting his nails to the quick while Dally stared at the baby like she might jump up and bite him.
"Bout five days." Johnny replied with an odd , blank look on his face. That was oddly specific wasn't it? Darry thought.
She was absolutely tiny, but she didn't look too thin… Then again, he wasn't sure what a baby that age was suppose to weigh, only that Pony had been seven pounds when he was born. He remembered that. Then he'd lost weight afterwards for a few days before becoming the fattest baby he'd ever seen in the following weeks.
"What have you been feeding her?" He asked.
Johnny reached into the box and showed him the powdered milk From Birth. The label said.
"You been using boiled water yeah?"
"Yeah Darry I ain't an idiot." Johnny grumbled. "Boiled the spoon too."
Spoon?
Darry went looking for something clean to wrap her in, settling on one of his well washed flannel shirts. "We should take her to a doctor… Make sure she's OK." He said as she swaddled her and picked her up. "Tell the cops, the mother might be out there somewhere on her own, hurt or worse…"
He glanced at them and paused. Johnny's face was ashen under his tan, he moved to stand in front of the door. He set his jaw in defiance as he shook his head adamantly "No! No Darry I won't let ya!" He said in that determined whisper of his.
"Why Johnny? Why didn't you do that from the start?"
"He's scared they'll put her in a Church Home…" Dally murmured, biting the inside of his cheek. "You don't think that's where she'd end up Darry? A little half black orphan in Tulsa?"
"I won't let anyone take her away from me Darry!" Johnny was uncharacteristically firm, certain. Moving towards him.
Darry considered the scene for a moment. Yes, he thought, Johnny was exactly the kind of kid who would take in a stray puppy and get attached. But this wasn't a puppy and he hadn't been playing. He wasn't crying like a kid. He was standing firm, even though he looked about ready to collapse from exhaustion. Literally swaying on his feet.
"Johnny when was the last time you ate something?"
"Dunno."
"You can't even keep yourself fed!" He scolded in a loud whisper. "You really think you can play Daddy to this kid?"
"I have to!" He said. His voice cracking as he pulled the baby out of Darry's arms and clutched her close. Pressing his lips to her head. Her cries began to ease off.
"Why?"
Johnny shook his head. Suddenly the bravado melted away and he looked like a kid again. tears starting in his eyes. Darry took a step toward's him. "Tell me the truth boy! No more games! Why is this kid so important to you?"
"Darry..." He heard Dally's voice from the corner. Daring him to yell at Johnny.
Johnny stared between them, then, in the barest whisper he said:
"She's Kin."
"What… What do you mean she's kin? Kin to you? How is that possible Johnny? Is…" A thought suddenly occurred to him "… Is she yours?" The idea of Johnny having an illicit affair with a coloured girl and it remaining a secret in their neighbourhood seemed a little unlikely.
"She's my sister!" Johnny said with a sob. Shaking all over.
He and Darry were rarely on the same page, but on this occasion they exclaimed in unison:
"What!?"
Johnny leaned heavily on the door and slowly his knees buckled and he slid down to sit on the carpet. He kissed the baby's head again, choking his tears back as he whispered. "Momma had her on Tuesday night... At home and… And Daddy… He…" He let out a pained whimper at the memory. "He tried to kill her!"
"Oh… Oh Glory! Johnny!" Darry pressed his hand to his mouth in shock. He hadn't even known Johnny's mother was expecting. Honestly, if he had he might've called Child Services himself.
Johnny was sobbing again. "He was sayin'… 'look at her! She's not mine!' He said he wasn't gonna raise another kid that… " He swallowed thickly, his voice redolent with pain "…That wasn't his!"
Dally was beside him on the floor in a second, putting his arms around him. "Jesus Christ Johnny!" He murmured into the boy's hair as Johnny wept and the baby wailed again.
That fuckin' bastard! It was all Darry could do not to go over there right now and kill him.
It was lost on absolutely no one in the gang that Johnny was a shade darker than his parents, and that was probably a factor in the way they treated him, but no one mentioned it... No one was that cruel, and Johnny… Poor Johnny, despite everything, somehow still clung to the illusion that his parents might, deep down, love him … Until now. He guessed, watching the kid break apart on his bedroom floor.
He took a long, deep breath, exhaling slowly to keep his rage in check. "I'm gonna go heat up some milk and look for a bottle for this little one." He said as calmly as he could. "Dal… You got this?"
Dally looked up at him and nodded. Pulling Johnny in closer. "It's gonna be ok…" He murmured in his ear.
The second he stepped outside the room Darry slammed his fist into the wall.
"Dar?"
He jumped in surprise. Looking up to see Soda, half dressed, standing in the hallway. Glory! He was on edge.
"Hey." He put his head back against the door and closed his eyes.
"Whats wrong? What happened?" Soda's sensitive face was suddenly pinched with worry. "What's that noise?" He pointed at the door.
He answered Soda's questions with another question. "Do you know where Mom kept our baby stuff?" He asked. Hoping some of it remained stashed somewhere.
"Probably in the storm cellar with all the other boxes… Hold up Darry…Is there a baby in there?" The mewling cries suddenly making sense to him.
"Well It ain't a puppy." Dally sighed. Shaking his head in disbelief at how sideways his quiet morning had gone.
" Whose baby? Can I... Can I see it?" Soda looked curiously at the door. "Darry what's going on?"
"Not yet Little Buddy… Help me find the box and I'll fill you in." He said, thanking God for his kid brother's easy, cooperative temperament. Soda nodded and followed him out back to the storm cellar. Looking back over his shoulder a couple of times on the way out.