Ponyboy Curtis:
It was a bit like magic. What this Sunday morning turned into.
She had tiny little fingernails and toenails and Johnny's big dark eyes and the softest, blackest hair on her head.
She smelled like milk… At least, she did after they bathed her in the kitchen sink. Darry knew how, said he remembered from Mom and Dad and Him and Soda as a baby.
It was just so hard to believe he was ever that small. Everyone was though… Glory! what a Crazy thought.
Johnny fell asleep right away but every now and then he stirred and murmured in distress. Ponyboy wondered if he was in pain from all those awful scratches and bruises. He reached for his friend's hand and the stirring stopped.
"I'm right here Johnnycake." He whispered, looking at the other boy's split, bruised knuckles.
While Johnny had been in the shower Darry had bathed the baby and filled him in on what had happened.
"I don't wanna scare you Ponyboy but you cannot tell a soul about her OK? I don't know how Johnny's parents will take the situation if they discover them here, I dunno how the police or welfare will take it. So as of right now she's a secret. You understand?"
"What about Steve and Two-Bit?" He asked. "They're in and outa here all the damn time!"
"Steve and Two-Bit are an exception." He said "There'll be no keeping it from them… Or Sandy I suppose. We can't ask Soda to lie to her…"
"Why not?" Dally interjected from the kitchen table… God help us! The whole neighbourhood's gonna know! Maybe I should tell Buck and let him tell everyone at the bar too huh?" He lit up a cigarette and Ponyboy thought Darry was gonna turn around a knock his block right off.
"Get that thing away from the baby! Outside! Now!" He pointed at the door and Dally skulked outside to smoke the rest of it. "There now." Darry said to the baby, who was staring up at him from the palm of his hand "Nasty smoke's all gone."
Ponyboy was taken aback by the softness in his usually gruff brother's voice.
"You think They'll come back for her? Johnny's folks?" Ponyboy asked, feeling suddenly sick at the possibility. He couldn't imagine anyone hurting such a tiny, sweet little thing. But they all knew Johnny's dad was king of the bastards and his mother was afraid of him and would probably do whatever he said.
"Let them try." Darry muttered darkly.
He watched as Darry lifted the tiny body out and onto a soft towel. "You gotta imagine it's a kitten." He said, showing Ponyboy how to pat her dry. "A new one, that how gentle you've gotta be… You gotta get all the creases dry like here." He dabbed under her chin. "Or else they get a rash."
"Say Darry, you're pretty good at that."
"I had practice helping with you. You were the fattest little baby, you had rolls on your rolls." He smiled, giving him a playful pinch on the stomach. "Look at you now! Skinny."
"Hey! I eat!"
"You must have hollow legs then." Darry teased. For the first time in a long while Ponyboy felt at ease with Darry. He was stressed, he could see that, but he was playing. He hadn't played in a long time. "You wanna know how to change a diaper?" He asked Ponyboy. "You're gonna be doing a lot of it."
"Oh man! I should've known that would be my job."
"Oh not just that." Darry said. "All the night feeds and burping too…" He grinned. "Pass me one of those cloths and a pin. It's super easy." He folded it into a triangle, frowned at how it dwarfed the baby and folded it again before pinning it. "Maybe we can get some of those throw away ones from the store." He said. "Take some of the work out of it."
"Mmm…" Darry agreed. "We're gonna have to tighten our belts kid… This ain't gonna be cheap."
"I can get a weekend job…" Ponyboy started to say.
"Your weekend Job is gonna be getting your homework finished while helping Johnny look after this one. He's gonna be momma and poppa to her now. It's a full-time commitment." He said. "I'd hoped we could help him get his SATs but I guess that isn't gonna happen now." Darry's mouth was a tight line of tension. He realised in that moment that Darry spent a lot of time thinking about stuff that he himself never had to worry about.
"Before Johnny dropped out, our teacher said he was either lazy or stupid cause he had such trouble with reading." Ponyboy said bitterly. "He tried so hard too… It wasn't his fault… I don't think he'll ever set foot in a school again."
"He'll have to." Darry said.
"What do you mean?" Ponyboy felt indignant. Surely Darry wouldn't force Johnny back to school on top of everything else? "You can't…"
"Calm down! I mean that she won't be a baby forever… One way or another He's gonna have to take her to school." He frowned.
Ponyboy gaped for a moment. It was like time compressed and the baby in front of him was suddenly a little girl of six sitting on the countertop, or jumping rope outside on the porch, scraping her knees and asking for piggy back rides. He blinked. "Glory! She's a whole person huh?"
"Now you're getting it." Darry said. "Scary huh?"
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Johnny surfaced late that afternoon. By that time the baby had woken and needed to be changed and fed again. Pony was getting the hang of it, although he did bring her to the sitting room so the others could make sure he didn't mess it up.
They argued over what was the best way to do it and he came to the conclusion that they were almost as clueless as he was. But they agreed on three things:
The back of his wrist was the place to test milk temperature, that everything had to be boiled and sterilised, and that soft flannel soaked in luke warm water was the best thing to wipe a tiny butt with. That was where the consensus ended as Dally and Soda argued over whether vaseline or cooking oil would make the best diaper rash ointment.
The conversation turned to Johnny and how beat up he was.
"I'll stay with him tomorrow." Dally announced. "I don't have Rodeo till Wednesday."
Soda nodded. "I can trade shifts for Thursday and Friday night and be here in the day time"
"Ok…" Darry nodded. "But just for now, I don't want you taking on night shift regularly."
"Steve and Two-Bit will want in on this too. We can make a roster." Dally said.
"Hey!" A rough, high voice scolded suddenly. Johnny was standing in the doorway with a pissed off look on his face. "Hell you guys… I've been looking after her all week on my own! I don't need round the clock care! It's just the usual."
His hair was sleep messed and he looked around 5 years old like that. Ponyboy knew he hated being patronised, but in this case he agreed with the guys. The last thing Johnny needed right now was to be left alone… Not with him this tired and messed up.
"We don't wanna baby you Johnny." Soda told him. "But it's safer this way, you dig?"
Johnny limped over to the couch, took the baby from Ponyboy and continued to feed her. "You mean with my folks around?" He looked suddenly so insecure as he looked down at her.
"Yeah… Well… That and a hundred other reasons yeah." Dally said, looking at him with a concerned expression, focused on the banged up knee sticking out of the oversized shorts. "Just do us a favour and accept the help for once… Please?"
Johnny looked surprised at that. "I… I just don't wanna be a burden is all…" He stammered.
"We're gonna have a talk" Darry said ominously. "A serious one… Just as soon as she's sleeping."
When the baby finally dropped off into a milk coma, Darry asked them to leave him and Johnny alone for a little while so they could talk. Johnny gripped his own arms and looked at them like they were leaving him alone with a grizzly bear. No one liked a "serious talk" with Darry.
Dally patted his shoulder and shot Darry a look as if to say you upset him and I'll murder you.
They walked around the neighbourhood, chancing a stroll by the Cade house. It was dead quiet and all the lights were off. maybe they'd skipped town. We should be so lucky Ponyboy thought.
"Hey!" The hyped up voice of Steve Randell assaulted their ears "Where the hell have y'all been! I've been out here all day looking for trouble on my own!"
Soda hugged him and whispered "Hey Steve… Listen…" He looked around to make sure no one was listening. "…We should go for a drive and talk… Wheres Two-Bit?"
Soda was a pretty smart guy. Anywhere besides a car wouldn't be private enough for the conversation they were gonna have. Plus Dally as the driver would mean no one would go looking for Mr and Mr's Cade with a shotgun.
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When they got back to the house a few hours later the sun was setting. Steve and Two-Bit raced up the porch steps inside like dogs who smelled sausages.
Johnny and Darry were sitting together on the couch watching the evening news with the sound off. They looked pretty relaxed but Ponyboy couldn't help noticing Johnny's swollen eyes.
The baby was sleeping in a wash basket on the coffee table. They'd made her a mattress of towels and wrapped her in a white blanket. She looked like a pretty little doll.
"Johnny?" Two-Bit descended on the couch and pulled the smaller boy into a tight hug "Glory Johnny! Soda just told us what happened… Are you OK man?"
"I'm good Two-Bit" Johnny's voice was muffled against Two-Bit's chest. "Be better if you weren't breakin' my ribs!"
"Ease up there Two." Soda said, agitated "They're cracked I reckon."
Two-Bit pulled up Johnny's undershirt without so much as a please and inhaled sharply at what he saw. "I'm gonna kill the bastard this time!" He hissed thigh his teeth, looking truly furious.
Steve, usually the louder and bouncier one, was standing still and quiet. Staring into the wash basket with his mouth open. It may have been the longest he'd ever stayed still and quiet for in his entire life.
"M…Meet my sister." Johnny said, the ghost of a smile on his face. "Y'all be quiet though… She's had a big ole' day."
"Wh…" Steve finally shut his mouth, cleared his throat and whispered "What's her name?"
The room became silent. Ponyboy was a little shocked that he hadn't thought of it until now, everything had been so busy and exciting… He hadn't thought of it and he felt bad… They coudn't call her "The Baby" for the rest of her life could they? Dally, Soda and Darry looked equally awkward now, but all eyes had turned to Johnny.
He was looking at the baby thoughtfully, chewing his lip, Those big black eyes of his alive with emotion."Mary… After Y'all's Mom." He whispered.
Ponyboy felt a big lump rise in his throat at that. No one had said his Mom's name in a very long time. He wasn't sure what to feel. He looked up at Soda, who had sudden tears in his eyes.
Johnny had loved their Mom, she was certainly more of a mom to him than his own… When… When the accident happened... Johnny had disappeared for a few days. No one asked him about it but Ponyboy knew he couldn't handle the funeral. It hurt too bad. Wherever he went, he wished he could've gone with him.
To his surprise Darry reached around Johnny's shoulders, pulled him in and planted a kiss on his temple.
This had been the weirdest day.
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That night he'd wanted to sleep on the couch. Darry was going to take it but he refused to let him. He and Soda had work the next day, as did Steve… He was the right height for the couch anyhow, he'd said... So Darry relented and took his place in the bed with Soda.
Ponyboy helped Johnny to Darry's bed. Johnny insisted on sleeping with the baby in the wash-basket beside him. He said he was scared he'd roll on her in his sleep otherwise. He had all the changing and feeding supplies beside him on the nightstand, even a thermos of water to warm the milk.
Ponyboy bitterly regretted having to go to school tomorrow. He knew Dally and Two-Bit would be there while he was gone but he wanted to stick around so bad.
"Well… G'night Johnnycake…" He sighed deeply as he turned to leave the room.
"Pony?" His friend's voice was wavering, like he was scared of something.
"Yeah Johnny?"
"Are ya mad? About the name?"
He was caught off guard by the question. Mad? No… No that wasn't what he felt.
"Naw man… I'm not mad… I… I guess It was just hearing her name again, after all this time… I think I hadn't heard it since the funeral is all."
"I'm so sorry man." Johnny whispered.
"Naw Johnnycake! The name is perfect for her…" He sat on the bed at Johnny's feet "She's family 'aint she?"
"Not about the name." He said. "About not being there for you after…" He squeezed his eyes shut.
"I get it Johnny." Ponyboy told him. trying desperately not to be bested by tears. "If I could've I would have taken off m... Myself."
"I really did lo… Like them both a whole lot…You know that right?" Johnny swallowed thickly. "They kinda showed me what a real Momma and Daddy were, y'know? I'd never have known otherwise. I'd never have seen a Mom and Dad who loved each other, or their kids... Wouldn't know how to be a brother neither..."
"You're doin' just fine with this little 'un" Ponyboy told him "She's lucky to have you for a brother."
Johnny's voice cracked. "I'm so scared I'll do something wrong!" He put his hand over his face. "… I won't be good enough…"
Ponyboy patted his friend's leg, not knowing how to comfort him. He'd never had a responsibility like this before.
"Pony?" Johnny whispered. "Can you stay? Just for tonight?" He sounded like a frightened kid.
He nodded wordlessly and climbed into the bed, positioning the wash-basket between them.