The hot water trickling down my body felt like heaven. I watched as dirt and blood slowly washed down the drain and stood there for as long as I could, just enjoying the water on my skin. After what felt like forever, I finally shut off the water and stepped out to dry off. I was the last one to take a shower so I wasn't concerned with anybody walking by and seeing me naked.
Wrapping myself in a big towel and grabbing my few hygiene items I left the showers. The hallway was cold compared to the hot tiled room behind me. Padding down the hallway towards my room I heard voices. One was definitely Lori and something was wrong. I crept towards where her voice came from and almost had a door smashed in my face when an angry Shane suddenly burst through it. I let out a gasp and he instantly turned towards me. He just stood there and eyed me up, which made me feeling naked despite the thick towel. He slammed the door shut and made two big steps in my direction which had me backing up against the nearest wall unintentionally.
"What are you looking at?" I hated how close he was again and felt his breath on my exposed and still a little damp skin.
"Nothing! Didn't expect a door getting slammed in my face, that's all," I growled back, to which he only hummed in annoyance. He grabbed a strand of my wet hair and started wrapping it around his fingers.
"You sure about that, princess? Come on, the way you look at me… I bet you wondered what's under these clothes at least once. What do you say? Wanna find out? Get some action with a real man?" I could smell the alcohol on his breath and turned my face a little to the side. His hand wandered to my cheek and then my chin, forcing me to look at him again. "Come on, princess. Stop playing hard to get." I pushed against his chest as hard as I could and he stumbled back a little
"You are drunk! Sleep it off, Shane!" I pushed past him, angry that he thought after all he had thrown in my face up until now, I would just say yes to sex with him.
"We both know you want it!" he slurred behind me and I just turned to flip him the bird.
"Oh and I'd do something about those scratches. Wouldn't want anybody to get the wrong idea, deputy." I pointed to my neck, the same place some angry red scratch marks were forming on his neck. I turned and walked down the hall, the gears in my head already turning. Bet Lori gave those to him. But why? Those two seemed to get along just fine… I wonder if it has something to do with Rick still being alive.

Deep in thought I stumbled when I walked straight into someone else.
"For the love of God! Carl. What are you doing out here? Didn't your mom put you to bed?" The boy looked up at me and his cheeks turned a bright crimson red.
"Couldn't sleep. I tried to find the cafeteria…" I leaned my head to the side a bit and gave him a questioning look.
"And what would you want there in the middle of night?"
"Ice cream…" He gave me a sheepish smile and I rolled my eyes.
"Let me get dressed. You are not wandering around alone. Come." I turned him around and pushed him in front of me until we reached the room Carol had pointed out to me earlier. Once I was dressed again I put my hair into a loose braid to dry. Before leaving my room I grabbed both blankets from the cot just in case we would get cold. Stepping back outside, I found Carl patiently waiting for me to return. I held my hand out to him and he grabbed it. After a few minutes of searching we found our way back and excitedly the boy started searching for dessert.
"Yes!" I heard him from the other side of the room and followed. With a big goofy smile he was holding up one of those big ice cream buckets.
"Found it. There are so many! Which do you want? There is chocolate, vanilla, peanuts, strawberry…" I let out a small laugh and he stopped.
"I think one bucket should be enough for the two of us. Which one do you have there?" I pointed to the one he was still holding on to and after rearranging the bucket a little he told me it was chocolate with cookies.

"Alright. Let's take that one and leave the rest for later." He followed me back into the dining area where I had laid out the blankets. We sat next to each other and were sharing the little treat we had found. Me with a little more self control than Carl. I smiled with the tip of the spoon still against my lips. It was nice to see the boy be able to act like the world was still in one piece for once. I had to convince Carl that it was enough at one point with some protest from him, but the promise to sit and answer every question he wanted after he put back the ice cream got him to comply quickly.
"Rules. You only get to ask one question at a time. No interrupting me. And no complaints if there is a question I think you shouldn't know the answer to. Understood?" He nodded eagerly and sat up straight.
"Okay. First question." He thought about it for a second before a big smile appeared on his face.
"How old are you?" I let out a loud laugh.
"Really? That's what you chose to ask me first? Fine. I am 27. Turning 28 next summer." When he voiced that he thought I was younger I gave him a fake angry stare before bursting into laughter again.
"Are you happy to be with us? Or are you going to leave with your brother?" I turned serious when he spoke up again.
"That's two questions, young man. But yes, I am happy to have found your dad and you guys. It's starting to feel like family, at least with most people. And why would I leave with Adam? It's safer in a group. And I would miss having ice cream with you late at night." My answer seemed to make him happy.
"Good. I don't want you to leave. Shane doesn't like you, but I think you are a good person. You have to be, you brought my dad back and helped Sophia." I rubbed his back when he hugged me out of nowhere.
"Did Shane say that to you?", I asked him softly, wondering where he had picked up on that.
"I heard him talk to mom. He said she shouldn't let me near you. That he doesn't trust you and that you won't be around much longer anyways." I felt the anger boil up in me again. But I wouldn't say anything in front of the kid. I just wondered what kind of relationship Lori and her husband's best friend had that he would tell her what to do concerning her son.

"Can you show me how to kill walkers?" His question caught me completely off guard.
"You want me to do what?" I asked just to make sure I heard him right.
"I want to protect my mom. And you are not afraid of the walkers. Nobody else will show me. Mom and Shane say I am too young," he pouted and looked up at me.
"Look Carl, I can't just promise to teach you something like that. I need to ask your parents for permission. In a way they are right, it is dangerous for a kid, even one so grown up like you. Don't give me that look, mister. I'll talk to your dad about it. Why haven't you asked him to teach you?" The boy had crossed his arms and was giving me a disappointed glare.
"When mom says no, my dad will take her side. Please! Make him say yes!" I shook my head, what a stubborn child, and promised him that I would try to convince his father to at least show him how to use a knife.
After asking me some more questions, like what my favorite color was and if I had pets, Carl finally drifted off to sleep. I didn't want to wake him up again so I pulled the second blanket around us and got as comfortable as possible on the floor. It wasn't long until my eyes fell shut as well.

"Carl! Carl, where are you!" I woke up from a high pitched scream and was a little disoriented. Looking around I slowly recognised the cafeteria and next to me a still fast asleep Carl mumbled something.
"Calm down. He has to be somewhere," a second voice joined.
"CARL!" Despite the effort to calm her down, Lori screamed for her son again. I heard footsteps and a moment later someone entered the cafeteria. I squeezed my eyes shut at the sudden flood of light.
"Damn it woman, stop hollering already. He is here." More feet came running and my vision slowly cleared.
"Thank God." Lori stood in front of us and looked down at her waking son still curled against my side.
"What were you thinking Carl? You can't just run off and not tell me where you're going!" she reprimanded him.
"But Rachel was with me…" I gave the woman an innocent shrug, feeling bad I hadn't told her or Rick that Carl was with me, while gathering the blankets and wanted to tell her what we did but didn't get a chance.
"She should have known better than to wander off as well!" I made a face when Shane appeared beside Lori and looked down on me. I couldn't stand everybody looking down onto me and got to my feet.

"We are in a goddamn government facility that has been closed off to anything out there. He wanted some ice cream, for heaven's sake. I'm not gonna apologize for making him feel normal for one evening." I shoved past Shane and headed for my room. In the doorway, Daryl stood with his arms crossed but I chose to ignore him. Back in my room I folded the blankets and put them back on the unused cot.
"Rachel?" I turned to see Adam in my doorway and turned back to my bed with a huff.
"What?" I snapped, refusing to look at him.
"Can we talk, Rach?" I gave him another scrutinizing look before I agreed. He sat down on my cot and looked up at me like a kid that stole a candy bar.
"I am sorry. I was a dick yesterday."
"Yeah, no kidding. It's always like that with you, Adam. You act like a dick, treat me like shit and later you come apologizing but we both know you will do it again. Just like when you left us time and time again. What happened to the boy that would beat up anyone who bullied me back in elementary and later? The boy who held my hand and made me tell him who gave me those bruises or who dumped my backpack in the pond." My brother let out a heavy sigh.
"I was a kid back then. You were my little sister, I had to protect you. One day you just started to get strong enough to take on the world. You didn't need me anymore." I let out a snort.
"That's bullshit and you know it. You changed and not for the better. I was fifteen, damn it! Mom got treated for cancer, dad just wound up in that wheelchair, and you just left us for a roadtrip with your friends! Not thinking about how we would manage. And don't tell me it was different, I know you were hurting too, but that doesn't excuse you for leaving us alone. And for protecting your little sister… Where was that protection when those bitches from my class started growing tits and you were more interested in fucking them than protecting me? Where was your protection when that thing with Greg happened? You didn't even believe me! Hell, you probably blame me for it happening even today!", I almost yelled at him again. Everything that had waited right under the surface for so long finally breaking through. Maybe it was because I had told Daryl about it yesterday, maybe it was just because I was so on edge all the time now.
"Whoa, where is that all coming from? I thought we decided to make up!" he protested and I just slapped him right across the face.
"No! You decided that. I agreed to talking, nothing more. I didn't say that I was forgiving you. And you needed to finally hear this, because it is true. Every time I would have truly needed my big brother by my side, you were just gone, or otherwise occupied, or simply didn't care. You always take and take and take but what do you give back, Adam? I love you. You are family. But I wish T-Dog and Shane hadn't found you. If this is how it's going to be from now on with you, I just wish you were dead along with mom and dad…" I didn't wait for him to respond. I just left him sitting there. I knew that I was harsh, maybe even a little unfair, but after all he had put me through over the years, I had finally reached a point where I wouldn't let him get away with it anymore. Not now, not when his reckless behavior could endanger the safety of the whole group. Blood or not, it didn't matter anymore.

"Look who finally shows up!" T-Dog exclaimed when I entered the cafeteria. He patted the empty seat between him and Glenn and put a plate full of scrambled eggs on the table. With a smile I sat down and started to dig in. Next to me Glenn let out a pained groan.
"Hangover?" I asked him.
"Don't ever ever ever let me drink again," he groaned as an answer and I rubbed his shoulder in comfort. Across the table Rick wasn't looking too good either and Lori was currently helping him open a bottle of aspirin that Jenner had left for us. I tensed up a little when Shane walked in and straight for the coffee pot, telling Rick he was feeling like shit.
"What the hell happened to you? Your neck?" T asked when he spotted the bright scratch marks on Shane. The cop told him that he must have done it in his sleep and I noticed Lori avoiding eye contact with him. He shot me a glance too, and I just raised my eyebrows. I wasn't gonna say anything about what happened last night.
Only seconds later, Jenner entered as well, and after Dale and Andrea started wanting answers again, he led us to another room full of monitors and screens. I kept to the back of the group and leaned on one of the tables, seeing Adam giving me hurt glances from the other side of the room.
"Everythin' okay with you two?" I looked to Daryl who leaned against the table next to mine.
"We will see," I answered shortly and looked back at Jenner.
"Give me a playback of TS-19," the doctor said after pushing some buttons and the big screen lit up. It showed a three dimensional scan of a human skull. I crossed my arms and looked at it with interest. Jenner told Vi to give us the internal view and moments later the image changed so we were able to see the brain and its activity.
"What are those lights?" Shane asked once the image was clear and we could see pulses of light move through the brain and lighten up certain areas on occasion.
"Electric impulses, transporting information throughout the brain. Memories, basic movements, things you take in. Everything that makes you the person you are," I answered fascinatedly before Jenner had a chance to.
"Are you a doctor?" he asked curiously and I shook my head.
"No, just a combat paramedic." My reply had the scientist shake his head and tell me that there was no such thing as 'just' a paramedic.
"But you are right. Those are synapses. Electric impulses in the brain that carry all the messages. They determine everything a person says, does or thinks from the moment of birth to the moment of death." Everyone stared at the screen until Rick spoke up and Jenner confirmed that we were watching the record of someone who had been bitten and infected. He had Vi wind forward to what he called the first event. The electric impulses slowly died down while darkness like black veins spread through the brain until all of the brain was left dark and the patient lay motionless. Death!
"It invades the brain like meningitis. The adrenal glands hemorrhage, the brain goes into shutdown, then the major organs. Then death. Everything you ever were or ever will be…gone," the scientist confirmed my thoughts and let the computer system wind forward again until the second event.
I leaned forward and gripped the chair in front of me, excited and scared what we would be shown next.
"The resurrection times vary wildly. We had reports of it happening in as little as three minutes. The longest we heard of was eight hours. In the case of this patient, it was two hours, one minute… seven seconds." I watched as the base of the brain started to flicker in faint red, occasionally spreading into larger parts of the brain but without setting off further electric impulses.
"Does it only reignite the brain stem?" I asked while everyone else was still transfixed on the images in front of us.
"Basically it gets them up and moving," Jenner nodded and I felt my stomach drop. With shaking hands I leaned back against the table behind me. Whatever this thing was, it overtook the body like some parasite.
"...dead. The frontal lobe, the neocortex, the human part—that doesn't come back. The you part. Just a shell driven by mindless instinct." A gasp went through the room when the now dead patient started moving again. Something suddenly cut right through the brain and the body went motionless again as the brain went black for good this time. Jenner told us that they basically had no idea what this thing was, if it was a virus, a bacteria, some parasite or a fungus. He told us that he had lost contact to all the other facilities like the C.D.C, making clear it wasn't only happening right here and now.
"Man, I'm gonna get shitfaced drunk again," Daryl exclaimed next to me and shrugged when I looked over.
"Dr. Jenner, I know this has been taxing for you and I hate to ask one more question, but…that clock—it's counting down. What happens at zero?" I looked over at the digital clock Dale was referring to. I had noticed it upon entering but didn't pay much attention to it. Jenner told us that it showed how long the generators in the basement would be still running but left without answering Rick's question of what would happen once the generators stopped.

Part of our group decided to head down to the basement to check out the generators. I felt like I was going to be sick. I still couldn't shake the nagging feeling that something wasn't right, apart from what Jenner just showed us.
"C'mon." I nearly jumped out of my skin when Daryl spoke up. I hadn't noticed that we were the only people left in the mostly dark room. He nodded his head at me, asking to follow him. I closed my eyes for a second before I pushed off the table and walked beside the hunter back to the cafeteria. Everyone seemed on edge, nobody really sure what they should do with themselves. I shot my brother a disapproving look when I saw him sitting on one of the counters with a bottle of wine in hand, another already empty next to him.
"You gotta be kidding me," I scoffed and left for my room. I was well aware that everyone had their own way of coping, but getting drunk wasn't the solution. Reaching the small room I grabbed my backpack and stuffed my few belongings inside.
"What are you doin'?" I looked at the door and brushed some hair out of my face.
"Getting ready to leave. I don't know what happens once that countdown is over but I got a bad feeling about this. And I sure as hell don't want to find out if I am right, so unlike my brother I am not gonna get too drunk to walk straight. Jenner is holding something back."
Daryl hummed with the bottle of whiskey in his hand. "Did the air conditioning just stop?"
I held up my hand and slowly nodded. "Not weird at all…" I mumbled.
"What's going on? Why is everything turned off?" Daryl poked his head out of my room as Jenner passed by but got no answer other than the liquor taken out of his hand. The scientist mumbled something about energy being prioritized and we slowly followed him. The ill feeling in my guts only grew stronger.
"Hey, man, I'm talking to you. What do you mean it's shutting itself down? How can a building do anything?" Daryl kept following and questioning the doctor, getting angrier with every question left unanswered.
It wasn't until Rick came back from the basement that Jenner answered anyone and told us that since there was only half an hour left on the clock, the only priority was to keep the computers running. We had followed him back to the room with all the computers and the clock, the scientist finally giving the liquor back to Daryl, who shot him an angry glare. He then told us that the last ones to hold up were the French, that they had believed to be close to a solution when they ran out of fuel. Rick started to give orders that everyone should get their stuff and that we were leaving when Vi spoke up, telling us there were now thirty minutes to decontamination.
Right when we made the first steps towards the doors back up and out of the compound the doors slid shut with a hiss. I stopped dead in my tracks and felt my heart beat like crazy. I knew it!

"No. Did you just lock us in? He just locked us in!" Glenn exclaimed and everyone whirled around towards the scientist who told us that he was now broadcasting. To whom I didn't know or care. Everyone started shouting, except Daryl. He went straight for Jenner and started insulting him and tried to get a hold of him.
Rick and Shane tried to push the furious hunter off and back when he tried to attack Jenner with the bottle still in his hand. Afraid someone might get hurt, I dropped my backpack and pushed between Rick and the hunter.
"Daryl, please stop!" His eyes shot down to me and he stopped pushing against my hands on him at least a little bit. He still tried getting around me though until Jenner finally let slip what decontamination at zero minutes meant. It meant the whole place would go up in flames. I swallowed hard as images of Napalm being dropped over Atlanta washed over my brain. The second Daryl threw his liquor bottle against the sealed doors, I let go of him. He immediately noticed the change in my demeanor.
"Rachel?" I shook my head and looked up at him, the horror probably evident in my eyes. Daryl's blue eyes hardened as he focused back on the scientist.
"Open the damn door!" he hollered while T-Dog tossed him an ax and together with Shane he tried to smash down the doors with little success. Chaos broke loose when Jenner tried to convince Andrea and the others around him that going up in flames after two seconds in here was better than to fight the inevitable out there. Daryl was ready to smash the scientists brains in by now and was quickly restrained and relieved of the ax. I moved in front of him when he tried to rush forward again. He nearly knocked me over but stopped right in front of me.
"Get outta my way! I swear I'm gonna knock ya on yer ass! Why're ya protectin' him, huh? Ya wanna end up as a roasted chick?! Thought ya were better than that. Ya just as weak as the rest!" His words didn't touch me. I understood he was angry and scared and probably didn't mean a word he was throwing in my face.
"I'm not protecting him. I'm doing this for you!" I yelled back. I couldn't say who was more surprised about those words, him or me.
"Wouldn't it be kinder, more compassionate just to hold your loved ones and wait for the clock to run down?" I turned to see Jenner was now addressing Carol who held her crying daughter close and now it was my turn to get angry.
"Don't you dare speak to her! You know nothing! What she survived to protect her daughter. She is a kid! She deserves a chance to make it out there rather than to be burned alive, you pathetic…" A loud snap threw me back on my ass and I held my left cheek in surprise and shock.
"Rachel!" Sophia wriggled out of her mother's arms and ran to me while I stared up at my brother.
"Don't you get it, Rach? He is right. Why fight every day to stay alive or find shelter? It could all be over in a second or two. No long suffering until your brain finally gives out. Just… gone." I shook my head and felt the tears on my face as the girl still held on tight to me.
"You don't know what you are saying. You are drunk," I tried to reason.
"No. You are wrong. You tell yourself the same lie over and over again until you believe it. Just like with Greg." I shook my head violently, begging him to shut up and see reason. In the background I faintly noticed Shane and Rick yelling at Jenner and each other and Daryl pounding on the sealed doors again. I tried to fight the tears, to stay strong, to find a way out of this. I shuffled to my feet, pulling Sophia up with me and beckoned Carol over as well.
"You are wrong, Adam. We can make it out there. We can survive if we stay together. You can make it. I know you are scared, so am I. But this isn't the way. Mom and dad…"
"Shut up! Will you stop talking like our parents are still alive and caring?! They are dead! Eaten by those things if they were lucky or tearing apart innocent people themselves right now! You saw what happened to this patient. There is no cure, no way out of this. You know that the military is gone!" I covered Sophia's ears, not wanting her to hear any more of this.

Suddenly the hissing noise of the doors was heard and relief washed over me.
"Come on!" Daryl yelled behind us and everyone grabbed their belongings to rush through the doors. Everyone except for Jacqui, Andrea and Adam. T-Dog started yelling at the black woman to come with him, but she wouldn't have it. I could still hear Daryl yelling for everybody to move and Shane bellowing commands as well. I made my way over to the door before I stopped next to Daryl. He gave me a questioning look when I shoved my backpack and bow in his hands.
"I need to get my brother. You go. Leave me if I am not out in time for you to leave." He grabbed my arm hard.
"That's insane! He just hit ya in the face! He ain't willin' ta fight, so leave him!" I shook my head and gave him a smile.
"You would do the same if it was Merle. Take care of Sophia if I don't make it." I pried off his hand and jogged back to my brother.
"We're going, asshole." He looked at me and shook his head.
"I'm staying. You go with your brand new family." I felt like punching him in his stupid face, but knew it wouldn't help.
"For once in your life, do the right thing and stop being so fucking selfish!" I grabbed his arm and pulled him out of his seat. He stumbled two feet forward and looked at me.
"You can't make me!" He was yanked back out of nowhere and I saw Daryl and T-Dog had both grabbed him and were dragging him off.
"Yer sister's right. Ya wanna make sure she stays alive, do it yerself dumbass," growled the hunter while dragging my brother along. When we reached the lobby, the wall of windows that made up the front of the building had been shattered to pieces and our people started to carefully climb out.
"How…" T-Dog shot me a look that told me he would tell me later how they managed to break the glass. When we reached the windows, T was the first to leave, taking our belongings as we handed them over to him. Daryl was next which left us siblings on the inside.
"Adam, please! I love you, okay? Please, let's get out of here together and find a way to be a family again." My brother looked at me for a moment before he let out a sigh and nodded. Since his leg was still far from healed I helped him through the window and Daryl helped him get away. With a last look back, I jumped over to the other side only for a searing pain to cut through my right shoulder blade. I let out a loud scream when my feet barely touched the ground but my shirt still stuck to some of the shattered glass. I tried to get free but failed.
"Stop movin'." Daryl's gruff voice had me stop my movements. Shocked, I felt the cold touch of a blade against my skin and before I could protest the ripping of fabric. I fell to my knees and was well aware that Daryl would be able to see what was normally hidden under most of my bra. I froze up. Nobody had seen the scars in years and it made me scared. I knew I had to move but I couldn't.
"Move a'ready!" He grabbed me again and pulled me with him towards his truck. He shoved me in and followed. He pushed me down and I felt his breath hot in my neck only a second before a loud explosion drowned out every other noise. When he finally got off my back, the hunter just slammed his foot down and sped off after the rest of our group, leaving behind a pile of nothing where the C.D.C. once was.

"What the hell?!" he screamed at me. All I could do was stare at him. I wrapped my arms around myself as if to hold myself together and felt my walls crumble down. He saw the scars! It was the only thing I could think of while the tears streamed down my face. I couldn't stop them, nor could I stop my trembling. I kept hearing the tearing of fabric and felt the knife over and over again.
"Shit…" he muttered and carefully reached out to me.
"Don't touch me!" I screeched at him and tried to put as much distance as possible between the hunter and myself. He gave me a short look that told me that he had come to some conclusion already. Putting one and one together, understanding washed over his face as he looked back on the road.
"Yer backpack's with yer brother. Should be an old shirt of mine back there to cover ya up." I gave him a worried look before carefully looking at the backseat.
"I ain't gonna touch ya if that's what yer afraid of. Won't tell anybody 'bout this." I gave him a short nod. After putting on the dark blue button-up I curled up in the passenger's seat and just stared out of the window.
"Thank you," I whispered against the cold glass, not sure if he even heard me as we left Atlanta behind once again.