Warning: this chapter is going to turn pretty dark in the second half as we get a glimpse into Rachel's past and those easily triggered by themes like abuse and rape should skip to the next chapter. I marked it as being written in italics but will give a warning again when to skip ahead.
I let out a groan when I woke up. I felt light headed and incredibly heavy at the same time. A soft breeze wafted over my skin and I forced my eyes to open. White. Everything around me was white at first. It took me a moment to realize I was looking up at a white ceiling in a white room with barely any furniture besides the bed I was lying in.
"You're awake," a light voice with a southern drawl sounded from my right. I slowly turned my head with another groan. There in a chair by the open window sat a young woman with short brown hair and an easy smile on her face.
"Where…" my voice broke and my throat felt sore and dry.
"On my daddy's farm. I'm Maggie," she continued while getting up and gently placing a glass of water against my lips which I desperately gulped down.
"Thank you," I whispered, feeling just the tiniest bit better. The longer I was awake the more the dizziness ebbed down. How long had I been out?
"Carl?" I suddenly remembered what had happened in the woods. I remembered the boy going down. Remembered the second shot.
"He made it. Thanks to your friend who carried you here. It was a close call for you and the boy." I sank back into the pillows.
"Shane's not my friend," I replied dryly. I looked down when I felt another gust of wind against the exposed skin of my injured leg. I didn't feel any pain when I looked at the limb propped up outside the sheets, a bandage wrapped around most of my thigh.
"Daddy says you were lucky that the bullet tore right through. You lost a lot of blood though, good thing my sister has the same blood type," Maggie continued to chatter on with that easy smile. But something was in her eyes, something that was weighing down on her.
"What about that guy that shot the buck? How is he doing?" I remembered the poor guy being yelled at by Shane and hoped he didn't continue to give him a hard time.
Maggie's face fell for a second. " He made a run for medical supplies with your guy Shane. He didn't make it back." I closed my eyes at her reply. I didn't know him, but still I felt bad for his death.
"He tried to make it right even when it was an accident…" I mumbled and the girl gave me a sad smile.
"He really felt bad for what happened. He didn't see Carl until the buck went down. And then the rifle went off again and that bullet hit you. He was waiting for you to wake up again so he could apologize."
"There was nothing he should apologize for. Accidents happen. I am sorry for your loss." I had taken a hold of her hand and gave it a short squeeze.
"How long was I out?" I asked after a couple of minutes.
"About a day. A little less. It's still early. Two of your people came here during the night. Asian guy and the black guy with the cut on his arm," she replied.
"Did they say where the rest of our group was? And did they say anything about finding a girl and my brother?!" I struggled to push myself into a sitting position and Maggie shot up from her seat.
"Easy. Take it easy or you will tear the stitches! They are all fine, stayed on the highway and should arrive later today. I don't know anything about the girl and your brother. Are they missing? That why you were out in the woods?" I nodded and felt only a little relieved at the news.
"Hey, you think I could get out of this bed for a little while?" I had to get out and get some fresh air. It was nice being in an actual bed for once, but closed rooms made me uneasy, especially if they weren't mine. Maggie looked at me and thought about it.
"Shouldn't hurt if you move a little. Wait a second, I'll get you something to wear. We had to cut your pants so you will have to borrow some of my clothes until yours get here," she replied with a genuine smile and left the room. I tried to sit up some more to be able to look out of the window but couldn't quite manage to get my head high enough.
"So, you won't be able to wear pants with your leg bandaged like that but I have an old dress that should fit you just fine for now. Though it might be a little tight around the chest," Maggie chuckled when she slid back into the room and I gave her a soft smile. With her help I sat up in the bed and let my legs dangle over the edge. It hurt a little, but the painkillers were still subdoing most of the pain. I slipped out of the dirty button-up I still wore and Maggie helped me get the pale blue summer dress over my head. Leaning heavily on her, I stood on shaky legs and she again helped me to pull the dress into place. She had been right. For the most part the dress fit just fine except for the upper piece that clung to my chest like a second skin.
"You should keep it. Looks good on you and it brings out your eyes," the girl commented and I gave her a shy smile.
"Yeah, I normally don't do dresses,"I excused my expression.
Getting down the stairs proved a little difficult because I tried not to lean onto Maggie too much, but was still too weak to hold myself up completely on my own. When we finally reached the bottom of the stairs I heard a door close and heavy steps come our way.
"Thank God." I was pulled into a firm and long hug and I felt myself slump against the man's chest. Tears started flowing down my cheeks and between sobs I started talking.
"I am sorry… I am so sorry Rick… I… It is all my fault. What happened to Carl… I am so sorry," I kept crying into Rick's shoulder while he rubbed my back in soothing circles.
"Rachel, it's not your fault. It's nobody's fault. It would have probably happened anyways. I am just glad you both pulled through. We owe Hershel a lot." He pushed me away a little and brushed away some of the tears. I tried to stop sobbing and nodded, rubbing my own hand over my eyes now. I wanted to say more when I heard a distant rumble, growing louder and drawing closer each second.
Rick put my left arm over his shoulder and grabbed me around the waist to help me walk out of the door and out onto the porch. The dark rumbling now even louder outside, I felt my heart skip a beat when Daryl appeared on Merle's bike and, shortly behind, the RV. From the corner of my eyes I saw some people walking up to the front of the house from somewhere in the back. I smiled when T-Dog came jogging towards us and up the steps of the porch.
"Hey, girl. You gave us quite the scare you know?" He pulled me from Rick and into a bear-hug which had me laughing. I patted his shoulder and playfully pulled on his ear with my free hand.
"Ok. You can let me go now, big guy. I might still need what little air you haven't squeezed from my lungs yet." With a chuckle the big man let go of me, but still steadied my body so I wouldn't fall over. He stepped next to me and I gladly leaned into his side for support.
"I'm glad you're okay. Would have been a damn shame to lose you." T-Dog pressed an affectionate kiss to my forehead as the rest of our group slowly approached the farmhouse. With a smile, I watched as they one after the other approached Rick and hugged him. The first to come to me was Carol. I could see tears already welling up in her eyes and gave her a sad smile.
"You can't do this ever again, you hear me?" she mumbled into my shoulder and hugged me harder than I would have expected her to be able to.
"Sorry, didn't mean to get shot," I mumbled back and hugged her as well. I was glad she was here now, somehow she had become a welcome companion and I was determined to spend more time with her.
"Someone else was really worried about you," she whispered into my ear when she loosened her grip and I felt myself blush and my heart flutter. I silently prayed that it was still because of the blood loss the other day. One by one the rest of the group approached me, assuring me that they were glad I was already back on my feet. Well, everyone save for one crossbow-wielding hunter, who still stood off to the side when Dale approached me on the porch.
"You will give me a heart attack one day," he stated with a serious expression and pulled me into him. I closed my eyes and leaned against the older man with a sigh.
"Didn't mean to. You found any sign of Sophia and Adam?" The heavy sigh from above was more answer than I needed.
"That's what I thought…" I mumbled and straightened up a little. By now Hershel and his family had left the house and announced that we would have a small service for Otis, the poor guy that shot Carl and me, in about half an hour.
One by one our people entered the house for a couple of minutes to go check on Lori and Carl before they started to set up camp in the field in front of the farmhouse. I leaned against one of the wooden beams of the front porch and watched them go about their business, knowing that I would be of no help in my current state. Still, I refused to return back into the house until the service for Otis. I wanted to enjoy the sun and fresh air a little more. Carol's earlier statement had taken me by surprise and it irritated me, if it was in fact true, that Daryl hadn't bothered talking to me up to now and seemed to refuse to even look at me.
"Glad to see you up already."
I flinched when Shane appeared next to me and his gruff voice startled me out of my thoughts. I turned my head to him and furrowed my brows. He was now sporting a buzz cut instead of the wavy curls I was used to. I couldn't say what bothered me more, his new haircut or the fact that he stood so close to me, his hand almost touching mine on the railing.
"Yeah, me too. Seems like I owe you for getting me here in time," I replied through gritted teeth. I hated to admit that he might have saved my life.
"I hate to say it but you almost didn't make it, princess. You stopped breathing when we were still in the woods. For a moment there, I thought you were done for…" His voice trailed off as if he wanted to say something more but then decided against it.
"Would you give us a moment, son?" the older man who I supposed was Hershel had stepped out of the house and looked at Shane expectantly. The burly man nodded and limped off, leaving me and the farmer alone.
"I didn't expect to see you on your feet already, given the state you arrived in yesterday," he started and helped me sit down in the rocking chair.
"From what I heard, I am standing here because of your kindness. So thank you for helping me and Carl." Hershel nodded his head and stated that there was no need to thank him.
"I hope I am not overstepping here. There is something I noticed when I tended to that gunshot wound that I'd like to talk to you about." My stomach clenched tight. I had a feeling what he wanted to talk about.
"The scars," I almost whispered and refused to look at him. He went down in front of me and put one of his hands on top of mine until I finally looked up at him.
"They don't know, do they?" I shook my head, feeling the lump in my throat rendering me unable to speak. "I thought so. You should lie down and get some more rest after the service. Your body is still recovering. Maybe Beth can give you another transfusion later." He got back to his feet and left the front porch with his family in tow. The blonde next to Maggie had to be her sister then, and the other woman must have been someone very close to Otis, by the looks of it. Maggie smiled at me and asked if I needed help to get down the steps but I refused.
With a little effort I pushed myself into standing and walked towards the steps on shaking legs. Gripping the railing tight I took a hesitant step and instantly lost my balance.
"What are you doing?!" I was jerked back by a harsh, tight grip on my waist and I almost growled in annoyance.
"Getting down those steps if you don't mind," I snapped at Shane and tried to get out of his grasp. Under some protest on my part, he scooped me up into his arms and made his way down the few steps. "Put me down! I can walk by myself, Walsh!"
He let out a sarcastic snort. "Yeah, I can see that. Why can't you just accept that you need help for once?" I pouted at that and felt embarrassed when I realized he would be carrying me all the way to where a pile of stones had been put up for Otis since there was no body.
"I hate you!" I hissed and gave him a pissed look at the smug grin on his face.
"I know, princess. You keep saying that but I think I am growing on you."
"Yeah like herpes. As much as you want it gone, it always comes back. Now, put me down!" I growled when we reached the others and with an annoyed grunt he finally set me back to my feet. Relieved to finally be out of his grasp I leaned against the tree next to Daryl. It annoyed me that the hunter still refused to look at me, even now that I was next to him. I could see the small tick in his jaw as Shane walked away to stand a little closer to Rick and Lori.
"Blessed be God, father of our lord Jesus Christ. Praise be to him for the gift of our brother Otis, for his span of years, for his abundance of character. Otis, who gave his life to save a child's, now, more than ever, our most precious asset. We thank you, God, for the peace he enjoys in your embrace. He died as he lived, in grace.'" I felt weird while listening to Hershel's words. I had never been one to believe in God, but I understood the urge to give all of this some purpose. I watched as the Greene family one by one put a stone on the grave of the man I wished I could have spoken to at least once. Let him know that I didn't blame him for what had happened.
I silently watched as Shane stepped forward, urged on by Hershel and Patricia, the other blond woman and apparently Otis's widow. She begged Shane to tell what had happened that night, that she needed to know for closure.
"We were about done. Almost out of ammo. We were down to pistols by then. I was limping. It was bad. Ankle all swollen. "We've got to save the boy." See, that's what he said. He gave me his backpack. He shoved me ahead. "Run," he said. He said, "I'll take the rear. I'll cover you." And when I looked back... If not for Otis, I'd have never made it out alive. And that goes for Carl too. It was Otis. He saved us both. If any death ever had meaning, it was his." I listened to the ex-cop retell the story. Something didn't feel right about this. His eyes were dark and distant, not with memories of a horrible night that ended with a heroic death.
Without thinking, I grabbed Daryl's hand that was next to mine, thankful that he hadn't moved away from me, when Shane's cold eyes landed on me for a second. I felt the hunter flinch, and feared he would pull away for a second when I realized what I had just done. All the more, it surprised me when his hand suddenly returned the grasp and he turned his head to me.
"You okay?" he whispered while the service continued. I carefully shook my head and looked down when I felt Shane's eyes on me again as he returned to his previous spot. Daryl grabbed my hand tighter in his and I had to fight the urge to lean into him for support and comfort. The ill feeling in my guts was not fading and I slowly felt exhausted from being on my feet for so long.
"Can you help me get back to the house? I don't want Shane to carry me again…" I mumbled and wasn't sure if I had been loud enough since the hunter didn't respond. I was surprised when he stepped around me to get on my healthy side and lifted my arm over his shoulder to support my weight. It wasn't the first time he had gone out of his way and engaged so openly in more than the necessary physical contact. I bit my lip when he pulled me into his side but couldn't suppress the small whimper.
"You sure you're okay?" he mumbled and gave me what was actually a worried glance.
"Yes. Painkillers are just wearing off, I think. Maybe it was a little too much to come out here…" I pressed out through gritted teeth and let him guide me back towards the house, painfully aware that only Maggie's thin dress separated me from the warm skin of his arm around me. He didn't say anything until we reached the front porch behind Maggie.
"I can take her from here," the girl offered.
"Nah, I got her," the hunter refused and asked where to put me. Maggie told him to get me back upstairs to the room I had woken up in earlier. We struggled up the first two steps until Daryl's patience hit its limits.
"Sorry." Before I knew what was happening, he looped his free arm under my knees and lifted me off the ground. With a little gasp, I tightened my grip on him and tried to stop my heart from leaping out of my chest. I was amazed by his strength, given that he was just barely a head taller than I was and I wasn't exactly a lightweight. In under a minute, he had carried me up the stairs and back into what I considered my room for now. He carefully set me down on the bed and pulled his arm out from under my legs. Unfortunately the hem of the dress had ridden up a little and I quickly tried to pull the blanket over my legs to prevent him from seeing what only Hershel knew about. He gave me an indifferent look and wordlessly walked towards the door.
I had expected him to just leave, but not to close the door and lean against it with closed eyes and the fingers of his right hand pressed against the bridge of his nose.
"Daryl…" He opened his eyes and looked at me with something I couldn't quite name in his eyes. With a sigh he pushed off the door and helped me adjust so I was lying back into the pillows and had my injured leg propped up again.
"Thought I told ya not to do anythin' stupid…" he mumbled while adjusting my legs and pulling the sheets over them.
"It's not like I wanted to get shot… I… It's my fault Carl almost died…" Daryl looked up at me and straightened himself into standing.
"How's bein' shot yer fault? 's not like ya pulled the trigger."
"No, but I let him get so close to that buck. It's my fault he was there when that bullet tore through it and hit him…" I buried my face in my hands and fought the tears of anger and embarrassment back. I looked up when something scraped over the floorboards and watched Daryl pull the chair on which Maggie had been sitting earlier over.
"Ya couldn't have known that. And ya both pulled through. Rick ain't blamin' ya. If's anybody's fault it's that dead guy's." Daryl was leaning on his knees and watched me take in what he said.
"Doesn't change that I feel guilty. Worse even, I had to thank Shane for not letting me die out there…", I bitterly stated and Daryl's face hardened.
"He wouldn't have had any hero story to tell if he had left ya out there." My eyes shot back to him and I raised my eyebrows. I didn't know how to feel about that statement now. Did that mean he actually liked me enough to make Shane pay if he had let me die?
"Why'd ya look so frightened at the funeral when he told his nice little story 'bout how that guy saved him?" So he had noticed that.
"Something about that story didn't feel right. He is hiding something, something just doesn't add up. Did you see his eyes? I… He scared me. It scares me to think what that guy might be capable of. I didn't want to bother you with getting me back up here, I was just afraid that he would take me back… I didn't really like him or trust him that much before, but after that story… I don't know why, but I am afraid of him. I'm afraid of being alone with him…" I felt my breath hitch in my throat when I remembered the feeling of his hands on my naked skin and how he had eyed my bare legs on the porch before he scooped me up. That he might have seen what he of all people shouldn't know. What Daryl must have seen when he put me back in bed.
My vision clouded over and it got harder to breathe. I felt hands on me, hands that shouldn't touch me, heard the laughter and the ripping of fabric. I couldn't breathe.
"Rachel!" My eyes widened as I took in the blue of Daryl's eyes, his words finally registering with my consciousness.
"Shit, Rachel. Talk to me." His voice was almost desperate as he held my face in his hands and kneeled next to me on the bed. I couldn't keep it together anymore. All those walls I had put up to save myself and keep the past from touching me were finally collapsing as I threw myself against his chest. I cried and sobbed against his neck and, for the first time in years, I broke down. I was scared, weak and broken. In this moment, I was everything I had left behind and buried away so it would never reach the surface ever again. I barely felt the hunter tighten his arms around me and lay his head on top of mine after hesitating for a few seconds, obviously completely at a loss at what to do with the crying and sobbing mess that I was.
He didn't say anything while I let it all out, he just held me tightly pressed against his front. I couldn't recall how long we sat like that or when I stopped crying. Even after that, he just held me without saying a word. I wasn't sure what was going through his head, I just knew I had brought him into a situation that was out of his control and that he would probably never talk to me again after my breakdown. He wasn't the kind of guy to sit and comfort a wailing woman or do any of that emotional baggage stuff.
I was carefully pushed away a few inches. I didn't even protest, I knew that this would happen. In a second he would tell me to leave him the hell alone and find someone else to put up with my shit. His eyes were serious when he gently pushed the hair out of my face.
"Tell me." Those two words hit me harder than any insult he could have thrown my way or if he had just walked away. His low voice rumbled in his chest and I felt the vibration go through my own body. I buried my fingers harder in the fabric of his shirt and weakly shook my head, refusing to meet his gaze.
"Tell me who did this to ya. Who gave ya those scars?" He had taken a hold of my face again and looked at me with determination. I wanted to tell him, wanted to take this feeling of safety he gave me and lay myself bare before him, show him the most ugly and darkest part of me. I pulled out of the warmth of his embrace and pushed back the sheets, trying to stand back up. He helped me to my feet and steadied me until I was standing safely on my own. I took everything out of me to grip the hem of the dress and start to pull it up. I had my eyes fixed on some point on the wall behind Daryl's head. When I finally pulled the dress over my head and looked back up the hunter wasn't looking at me. He looked out of the window, nervously chewing the inside of his cheek and the tips of his ears the slightest shade of pink.
"Daryl, please… If you really want to know, you need to see it.", I whispered and managed to reach my hand up to his cheek until he finally looked into my eyes. His gaze flicked down and immediately shot back up to meet my own. His blue orbs reflected my own pain and misery.
"How?"
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, letting my hand fall from his face. I reached for the discarded dress since the fresh air sent a chill over my exposed body, my underwear not really giving any protection. With his eyes fixed on my face Daryl helped me slip the garment over my head and arms. I slid back under the covers and hesitantly made some room on the bed next to me. I wasn't sure if he was going to take the hint or if it would be too much to ask, so I didn't ask.
After an awkward moment of standing there and biting his thumb, the hunter kicked off his boots and sat down next to me. Still, he stayed above the covers but motioned for me that it was okay with him to scoot closer. He was tense at first when I slid into his side and laid my head against his shoulder, but he started to relax a little at a time.
"You sure you really want to know the whole story?" I whispered, afraid to raise my voice out of fear it would make the hunter aware of what he was doing and just leave.
"Get talkin'," he replied but his words held no malice. I took another deep breath, inhaling what was so uniquely Daryl, motor oil, earth, a hint of sweat. Somehow, it was a pleasant scent, and it helped my nerves to calm down a little.
"It happened when I was still going through basic training. I was young and naive back then and I paid the price for it…"
This is the part where you skip this chapter.
I kept tapping my foot on the floor without even noticing. I hated it to sit here and wait. I was waiting for my instructor to finally be done with those two idiots from my company and call me in to deal with me.
When the door finally opened my two comrades walked out and passed me without even sparing a glance in my direction.
"Thompson! Get in here and close the door!" I jumped to my feet and entered the office, pulling the door shut behind me. I stood straight with my hands clasped behind my back and waited for my instructor to get this over with.
"Hope you have a better excuse for beating up Erickson and Stevens than last time," he started and I tried not to grimace. It wasn't the first time that we were having this conversation, since being one of three women proved to be even more of a struggle than I could have imagined.
"Thompson!"
I snapped back to the present and looked down in shame. "No, Sir. Same excuse as last time. They don't seem to get the message that no means no." I heard his chair move over the floor as he walked around the desk and leaned on it with his arms crossed over his chest.
"What am I gonna do with you? You are lucky to even be here. Getting into a fist fight with your comrades whenever they make some comment or try and get handsy won't make it easier on you, you know. Try and lay low for a while. My superiors won't be as tolerant and forgiving as I am, should they hear of it." I hated it that women in the army still were sometimes regarded as less valuable than most men, even though that ideal had started to change slowly.
"Understood, Sir. Anything else?" I looked straight ahead into my instructor's green eyes. His features softened.
"Yes, actually there is." He reached for my belt and pulled me closer.
"Good job putting those pricks in their place, babe…" His lips softly pressed into mine and with a sigh I let him pull me closer.
"How was your day?" I whispered against his lips and he smiled.
"Better now that I have you all to myself. But really Rachel, you need to keep it down a little, sooner or later there will be consequences for that behavior. At least for a week or two. Can you do that for me?" He had cupped my face in his hands and brushed his thumb over my lower lip.
"Just because it's you asking, Greg. I will try to stay out of trouble."
"That's my good girl." He gave me another kiss and then stood to walk back around his desk. I smirked when he pulled out a bottle of scotch and two glasses.
"Technically I am still on duty," I reminded him with a smile.
"Technically I am your instructor. And as your instructor I insist on you sharing this fine drink with me. That's an order, Thompson," Greg replied and winked at me.
"Yes, Sir." I clicked my glass against his and took a sip that burned all the way down to my stomach. I sat down on top of his desk while he stayed in his chair and we talked about normal stuff, like how my parents were doing and so on while taking the occasional sip of scotch.
"Hey, babe. You okay?" Greg leaned forward and touched my cheek. I was feeling weird.
"I… I don't know…", I slurred, the words heavy on my tongue. I wasn't drunk, I was sure of that since I had barely emptied half of my glass. Something wasn't right. The world around me was spinning and I started feeling dizzy.
"Feel… weird…" My vision blurred and I felt like all strength was drained from my body.
"Easy now, babe," Greg caught me in his arms when I simply fell forward. I barely had enough strength to keep my head up, and my thoughts started to come slower with every passing second.
"Look at that, boys. Not so much fight left in her now." I barely caught any sense behind Greg's words until I heard the distinctive sound of a door snapping shut and being locked. My eyes went wide when realization finally hit me. He had put something in my drink!
"You…"
"Ah. There you go. You see babe… Those two poor, touch-starved gentlemen are my beloved half-brothers and you just beat 'em up, when all they needed was a little love." Greg had grabbed my face hard and now turned my head. Erickson and Stevens were both standing next to the door with a smug grin plastered on their faces. What was happening here?
"Why…" I hated that I wasn't able to form a coherent sentence. I wanted to scream at Greg, wanted to push him off as he pulled me back first into his chest and facing his so-called brothers.
"Babe… You really were a good girl. But you should have just told me what they did. I would have taken care of it. But you needed to go and beat the shit out of them. I told you there would be consequences at one point." I wanted to scream and thrash in his hold as his left hand grabbed me by my throat to hold me against him while his right hand gripped the front of my uniform and ripped the jacket open. My breath hitched in my throat and I felt nauseous.
"No," I managed to press out and could feel Greg chuckle behind me.
"I'm afraid it's a little late for that." He pressed his lips against my throat while the others pushed off the wall and came walking towards us. I panicked and the adrenaline in my blood seemed to counter whichever drug they had used. I managed to break free, stumbling towards the door on wobbly legs, only to get them kicked out from under me.
With a dull thud I landed on the floor and struggled to stay awake for a moment. I felt a heavy weight press down on my lower half and felt the hem of my shirt being lifted. I made a protesting noise and started to struggle weakly until someone grabbed my hands and pinned them next to my head.
"You could have made this a lot easier on you…" Greg sighed and something cold scraped over the skin on my back. I realized it was a blade when I heard the sound of fabric tearing and the cool touch of air against the skin of my back.
"No!" I exclaimed, louder this time but still barely more than a whisper. I thrashed around on the floor again when my shirt had been completely removed and the blade now slid under my bra. I let out a pained screech when the knife tore through my skin instead of the fabric, but instead of halting my movements, it only made me struggle harder.
"Stop moving, bitch!" the person on top of me huffed in annoyance after several attempts to cut off the garment which only resulted in more cuts into my skin. Something hit me and I stopped moving for a few seconds. I felt my bra come undone and screamed in pain when I was rolled onto my back, the raw flesh underneath the cuts rubbing against the hoarse carpeted floor.
My vision was blurred with tears of pain and fear, so I couldn't tell who was doing what until I felt my pants being ripped down and off me. My mind screamed at me to fight back, to do anything but give in. It was just my body that refused to comply. After the initial rush of adrenaline had faded, I felt my muscles slacken and my body succumb to numbness.
"Would you look at that soft skin? I got an idea…" I let out a piercing scream of agony when the knife started cutting into the soft skin of my inner thighs and at one point I just blacked out from pain. I wasn't awake for most of what happened afterwards but I still heard the laughter, felt their hands all over my body, felt that knife ripping through my skin and was aware of them taking turns on me until my mind finally gave in and shut off.