Chapter 5 – isolation

He'd been so exhausted that sleep had come as soon as he lay upon his bed. The dreams started soon after. At first he was home in Australia, walking hand in hand with Alison Child. They were bare footed in the sand. Around them other couples enjoyed the warmth of the day. He barely noticed them. All his attention was on Ally. She was a very attractive brunette, who could almost look him in the eye. He felt like his breath was stolen away by this woman. Everything about her excited him. He leaned in for a kiss. She grabbed hold of him hard, digging her long nails into his skin. Suddenly the excitement and pleasure of this moment faded. He was trying to pull away from her, but found himself trapped. His breath was coming in strangled gasps as he tried to draw in more oxygen.

Alan struggled awake, and lay gasping . The nightmare was fading yet he was still finding it hard to breathe. Maybe sitting up would help. When he moved it felt like a weight was holding him down. His room was in total darkness, and it should be devoid of other life. Yet he could feel the presence of someone. "Ah so you're awake Carter", came the menacing voice that was right by his ear. That's when he realised what the heavy sensation was. There was a person sitting on his chest. "Get off me now", Alan growled. He gasped a second later as the person lifted their weight upward, then hurled themselves downward again. Now he could feel their fingers lingering on his throat. "Damn you Carter, why don't you tell the truth", demanded that voice.

Alan found his fear rising. The anger in the voice was very clear, and every inch of it was directed at him. "I don't know what you are talking about", he choked out. That's when the fingers moved, toward his face, and dug into the skin on the left side ,just below his cheek. He felt the stinging pain of his own tearing flesh. "Liar', the man said firmly. "Are you holding out to get more glory. So you can have more power. The Commander may be your friend. But all you are is a pilot. He could only increase your standing if he had a very compelling reason. "They fact you saved the Eagle fleet would be that reason. But you'd have to hold out for the right moment. A little loss of life would be in your favour". Well I won't let you kill any more of us". The fingers were digging downward, hard. The pain was getting more intense. It was not only physical. The words bit hard into him. How dare this man accuse him of letting his friend die. Feeling intense anger Alan tried to throw himself upward, and shake off the man sitting on him. But his tired ,bruised body would not respond. "I have the advantage Carter", taunted the voice.

Although he could not see who held him down, Alan knew the voice. He was so shocked by the realisation that this man intended to injure him. "Get off me", he yelled loudly. He was hoping his distressed voice would trigger a security alert. That hoped faded when he heard laughter. "No, I won't. Not until you tell me the truth. Oh and don't expect intervention from anyone. I over rode the system. So it's just you and I", the tone dripped menace.

Alan struggled again. His arms were pinned down under his body. If he could free them, he'd hit his attacker very hard. Unfortunately the man felt his wiggling .He felt the swish of air, and the moment of intense pain, as two hands slapped down hard across his ears. His ears rung and he felt disorientated. A groan escaped his lips.

He had no idea why this was happening to him. Or how to make it stop.

"Oh yeah it hurts ,I know. If you want this all to stop then tell me the truth. Or else I am just going to make it worse for you. Believe me Alan, I will make sure you feel intense pain ." So tell me what is causing the infection of the Eagles", the man insisted.

"What", Alan felt confused. The fingers dug down again, into the his face, right by his cheek bone. Then the slid along to linger near the corner of his eye. "If I move my fingers a little more, they are going to go straight into your eye. I will not be able to control the amount of damage that will cause", came the threat.

His terror was building. That had been am awful threat. He had never guessed how much malice this man was holding inside. This man might actually take things too far, and kill him. Tears leaked out of his eyes. "Please, I don't know what you are talking about", he said shakily. The fear and pain was very clear in his voice.

He heard the man's breath sharply intake as the fingers brushed the warmth of his tears. The weight on his chest shifted slightly. He could breath a little easier, though he still could not move. "Hmm I should have expected that. "The Commander hasn't told you yet". Figures. He's being kind and letting you rest. I would have hauled your ass before a board of inquiry". "Well Carter, The computers been searching for commonalities related to the infection of the Eagles. It finally spat something out. It was your name. So that means you know the damn answer. Tell me you bastard, or I swear you won't ever step foot in an Eagle again".

Alan felt his face get pushed downward, into his pillow. The fingernails of the man were now pressing down even harder, gouging into his skin. It was like they intended to burrow all the way through his face. Alan could feel the warmth of his own blood running down his cheek. This agony was not going to stop. He could not make it stop. Because he could not answer the question. He was absolutely sure this man would not believe that. So what was he going to do?.

"Captain Carter respond", his comm station pinged.

Relief filled Alan then. The man could not override the Commanders authority. If he did not answer, they would come and find out why.

"Dammit", the voice swore. "I guess he wants to know the same thing'. "Well Carter if you don't tell him, then I am going to come back. You do not want that." Oh and make sure you cover up the injuries , because if you even breath a word, I will know. If I go down I will make sure that you go with me. Even if it's the last thing I do". To make sure he was believed the fingers dug deeply into his skin again, lingering for at least a couple of agonising minutes.

Alan had to hold in his scream.

"Captain Carter respond", the comm pinged again. This time it was louder.

Alan felt the weight lift from his chest. The fingers brushed by his face as they moved.

Then seconds later his door swished open, then closed again.

His assailant was gone. Gasping in pain Alan took a few minutes to steady himself. Then he shakily got out of bed and answered the comm. "Carter here", his voice sounded rough. But the Commander would probably put that down to being awoken from sleep. "Alan report to my office immediately", Koenig requested. "Give me umm 10 minutes sir", Alan begged. "Very well, see you then", Koenig agreed.

Alan activated the lights in his room. He took a look at his face. The whole of his left side was deeply scratched and bleeding. How the hell, did that man think he was going to cover that up. But he had to at least try. Because he knew that if he did say anything, he would most likely be murdered.

Searching through his drawers, Alan found some make up left behind from his most recent recent lover. It would be enough to hide the injuries for while.

Ten minutes later Alan made his way to the Commander's office. The make up had done a very effective job of disguising his injured face.

He still stood as far away from the Commander as possible. "You wanted to see me sir', he asked.

"Yes", John agreed. Alan was lingering by his door, looking like he was about to run. Maybe he sensed his mood. "Come up here and sit down", John ordered patting the chair, that was only inches away.

Alan had no choice . He stiffly walked over and sat down. John was now staring at him. Please don't notice my face Alan inwardly begged. Thankfully after a few minutes of silent scrutiny John's gaze turned away. "Alan I asked you here because the computer just found a commonality relating to the infection", Koenig said. He then blew out a loud breath. "It gave us your name".

"My name", Alan managed to fake the puzzled tone. "Yes. Now I think there are a couple of reasons for this. Eagle One was not infected the first time you flew it through the large masses of white mists. This is the event that caused us to believe it was safe for the 7 Eagles to also enter those masses. This was not the case for 5 of those Eagles. However the other two were fine. You were the pilot of eagle 8. Then you also entered Eagle one, and were according to its pilots alone in the Eagle for roughly 30 minutes before you joined them in Eagle 8", Koenig said. He had his eyes on Alan's face again. "Also there is the fact that there are no longer any engine abnormalities present in Eagles 8 or 1." They seem to be fine Alan. But why is that?"

Alan felt his mouth drop open, " Eagle one's engines are actually functional ",he gasped.

John felt his tension dissipate . It was obvious Alan had no idea what had happened. He had wondered if his hot headed friend had done something he did not want to admit. "Don't you have any idea how that could have happened", he clarified.

"Everything of importance was in my report', Alan said firmly. "When I was in Eagle one I tried to restart its engines using the same technique I'd used in Eagle 8. It did not work. I have no idea why it worked in Eagle 8 Commander. If I did I would say something. "I am not lying", he added softly. The memory of fingers digging into his skin was in his mind.

John could hear the defensiveness in Alan's tone, "I never implied you were lying Alan", he stated firmly. "It's just that this makes no sense". John stood up. "Let's go to Eagle 8 and you can take me through everything you did." He needed to make sure Alan had remembered everything he'd done. Sometimes actions were so automatic that we forgot that what every single detail.

Alan could feel the desire to run from the room building within him. The probably of the Commander noticing his injured face was building every minute. But if he did run, it'd just tell everyone that he did have something to hide.

"Very well", he muttered.

He felt the eyes upon him as he walked through the operations centre. He tried not to look at one particular person. Yet he could still feel the burn of their gaze.

The short trip to Eagle 8 felt like an eternity. He did not say one word to John the entire time. Alan was also conscious of the fact that he made himself walk faster than the Commander.

When he got to Eagle 8, he slid himself in the pilots chair, and turned it away from John.

Alan really was being frosty, John reflected. He needed to let him know something important. "Alan I am not here to accuse you. I am here to support you", he said firmly.

All he got in reply was a grunt. I can't really blame Alan for being defensive he thought. He does not want to be the centre of attention.

Beside him Alan went through every procedure and decision he'd made. Idly John realised that the whole time Alan had faced slightly away from him. He could not see his face. When he studied him closely he could see him shaking. Beads of sweat were running down his face. They looked a little odd, not clear in colour.

John found himself watching Alan's sweat, and not his hands. That sweat was changing in colour, from a soft beige colour to red tinged.

Alan felt John's hand grab hold of his own. "Alan you're bleeding", John observed.

Shit , that was what Alan wanted to yell. He had felt his face stinging the entire time. But had tried not to react. He'd thought the makeup would perform better in pressured conditions. His lover always had flawless skin, no matter the situation.

Now what did he say. He settled for saying nothing, and remained still and statue like in his chair.

John reached out and swivelled Alan's chair toward him. He noticed that the blood flow trickling down his face was getting heavier. Pulling a water bottle from it's place at the side of the controls, John splashed it gently across Alan's face. What that water uncovered horrified him.

"Alan what happened to your face", Koenig demanded. There was actually a hole in Alan's face, that was oozing blood. Around that hole were long jagged lines. As the water trailed washed across more of Alan's face John could clearly see the outline of a finger. "Did someone do that to you", he found himself yelling. This was a question that he had never anticipated he'd need to ask. Assaults did not happen on his base.

He wanted just to continue sit there and not answer. The water was stinging his face. It was like that water broke a dam. Alan had no idea that he was going to react in this way. He began to sob. Everything that happened was hitting him now, hard and fast.

"Hey, hey, Alan, my friend, it's okay", John pulled him close and into a warm hug. Seeing Alan crumple like that was a shock. It told him how harrowing the assault had been.

"He said I was lying. That I was withholding information because I wanted a promotion", Alan gasped out. He was almost hyperventilating. "The worst was when he accused me of letting Len die". I'd never do that, never", Alan sobbed.

John felt his anger building. He kept his arms firmly around his friend and when he was a little calmer asked the most important question, "who said?"

Alan did not answer. "Alan tell me", John insisted. Still no answer. "That's an order", John upped the stakes.

Of course his friend the base Commander expected that an order should be obeyed. A senior member of the base had attacked him. He should make sure that person never had the opportunity to do anything to him again. That was the expected path. But then he rarely did the expected. "No", Alan said.

John could not believe that words had come out of his friends mouth. "What do you mean no", John insisted. "That's not an option Alan. You have to tell me."

"No I don't", Alan stated firmly. He pulled away from John, and returned to the pilot's seat.

John swallowed down an angry response. He willed himself to sit in silence, and study his friend. Alan was no longer sobbing. Instead he was too quiet. There was a distance within him that had not been there before. John found himself making another unpleasant realisation. "Did he threaten to hurt you again if you named him", John asked.

He got a stiff nod. John pulled Alan's chair close again. He put his hand lightly on Alan's. He was so angry that he snapped out. "The bastard is not going to touch you". "You have my word." So tell me his name", he insisted.

Alan looked down at his boots. John was actually very scary when he was this angry. "I want to tell you John", he told him softly. "Yes, it's probably safer for me if I do". But the answer is still no". It's that friendship problem again. This is part of the reason he chose to do this to me. Because he thought I was using that friendship to my advantage. So he probably thinks I will tell you. That's why he threatened me. He's actually scared of our friendship".

Now that was a stunning answer. John gritted his teeth, "as I said before I am not going to stop being your friend." He paused. An unpleasant thought intruded, "unless you insist I do", he muttered out. Alan stared at him, then thankfully shook his head. John sighed loudly, "then it seems that I have to accept your answer. You do not need to tell me his name. But that does not mean I won't find out who did this to you Alan."

Alan nodded. He was too exhausted to make any other reply.

"I am going to send you back to your quarters now Alan. Then I will send Doctor Russell to see you. Don't bother trying to disagree with me", John added." While you are in your quarters I will be holding a meeting." I will be telling everyone what happened to you and that it's not acceptable on my base". The guilty party may reveal themselves at that meeting. Then they will spend an eternity locked away", John stated.

Alan shook his head again. "You can't afford to lose people John. I'm bloody angry and will stay like that. But I will still be able to work with that person. I'll just watch my back. They will not have the opportunity to hurt me again", he promised.

It was a horrible truth. John wanted to deny what Alan said. He was right, people were important resources that were not renewable. He would have to bear the presence of a violent man on his team. However it was better if he knew who that person was. Because he might also need to watch his back. So he'd be watching them all carefully during the meeting.

"Go to your quarters now Alan", he said to his friend.

Alan quickly left.

Once he was back in his quarters he flopped himself down on his bed. His cheek felt like it was on fire. The pain was beginning to make him feel sick. When his door buzzed, he was relieved that Doctor Russell had arrived .

Helena had just been told to go and see Alan Carter. John had not told her what the issue was. But the anger in his voice has been very clear.

When she took a look at the young pilot she understood the reason for John's wrath. She recognised the signs of being assaulted. "Alan I want to examine your face", she said softly. "Alright", Alan agreed. Helena, came closer. She did not rush up to him, taking a slow pace.

Up close she could clearly see the extent of the damage to his face. Indentations of fingernails marred Alan's skin all around the cheek. Those nails had dug deeply into the flesh at one point. It must have been incredibly painful. She gently began to clean the wound. "How many of them were there?", Helena asked.

"Just one. He overrode the security system in my quarters and surprised me in my sleep", Alan replied. He noted that Helena stepped back to study him for a moment. "Only a senior member of staff has that ability", she noted.

"It was a senior member of staff", Alan agreed.

He had not mentioned a name yet. "Do you know who it was", Helena asked gently. "I could not see the person. But I recognised their voice", Alan paused. "I would not tell the Commander the name of my attacker. The reasons are complicated", he added. He did not really want to get into another debate .

Helena could feel his anxiety . Alan was obviously still shaken. The shape and depth of his wounds spoke of a type of malice, that was unexpected. She was aware that a sense of helplessness can lead to violence. But an actual attack against Alan Carter. No way . Her job was to treat his physical wounds, and give him some urgently needed pain medication. Anything else could wait until he was feeling better. She patted his arm. "I won't press you for details Alan. If you do want to talk at some stage, I am here. Whatever you tell me doesn't need to go any further. "

Alan nodded slowly. He closed his eyes as Helena continued to clean his face. His mind was focused upon the problem of the Eagles. "Is the computer always right", he asked Helena. "Yes, I believe so", Helena replied. "Then I should know the damn answer", Alan swore. "Only I don't". "My attacker won't be the only person to wonder if I am withholding information". Maybe not the only one to resort to violence either". "I have to find the answer".

"No Alan, you have to rest and recover", Helena said sternly. "In fact I'm going to give you something to help you sleep". Your door will be locked by me, so don't worry. The problem will still be there tomorrow".

"Yes, I know", Alan agreed.