Note: just a short read. Hopefully it aligns with the story i'm try to tell. Thanks for reading!

I obviously don't own any of the SVU characters.

Emma Louise Green - (Baby Benson).

Born November 23rd 1993 - State of New York.

Birth mother: Olivia Margaret Benson.

Birth Father: [blank].

Adoptive parents

Mother: Rebecca Mae Green (formerly: Shay).

Father: Joshua James Green - State of Connecticut.

Baby Emma - 1993

She had her mother's eyes, those big liquid chocolate eyes that were already so aware of the world she just entered.

A beautiful little soul brought into a world of unknown.

Olivia wanted her daughter to have everything she never had in her life: stability, safety, unconditional love and support, a real family. She knew she couldn't provide her baby with the world that she deserved. Olivia was young, alone, in school and didn't have any form of a support system she could fall back onto, she never did. She couldn't provide everything she so desperately wanted her baby to have and that tore her heart apart. She knew placing her baby with a real family was the best decision for Emma, people that could provide everything Olivia couldn't, for a future her daughter deserved. It broke her knowing she would have to had her over to strangers but knew her decision was the right choice, the only choice. Olivia had been surviving on her own for so long and so desperately wished for a family growing up.

One night, one slip up that ended in the conception of her daughter is all it took and Olivia didn't want her daughter to struggle through life like she did. She couldn't be a mother right now, she didn't grow up with the best role model as to how a mother should be but knew damn well should would repeat that cycle.

She had found a couple through her adoption agency and meet with them on several occasions. They were a picture perfect couple, everything Olivia wish for growing up in a family. They couldn't have children themselves so turned to adoption. She knew they would be able to provide for her daughter and make her their own, keep her safe. The decision still tore heart apart but knew it was the right thing to do for her daughter. Olivia's hormones were in overdrive and was on the edge of losing total control of her emotions as they took over her, she would find herself crying constantly throughout her pregnancy.

It was just after 4am when Olivia finally went into labour, she had woken up to the worst back pain and contractions soon followed. Olivia began to panic as the pain flooded her body, she had no one to call and no one to help. All she could do was pack a bag and call a cab.

She gave birth alone in a hospital room with only the nurses and doctor present, a room full of strangers. No one was there for Olivia to hold her hand or support her through the process, just hospital staff telling her to breath through the wave of pain each contraction brought and to push.

Olivia spent two days in the hospital as she recovered, physically. The paper work was completed and her decision for the adoption finalised. She didn't get to spend much time with Emma. She held her shortly after the birth and cried, she knew it was going to be hard to say goodbye but holding her in her arms made it so much more real. Emma was bundled up in a pink blanket and a pastel yellow hat and Olivia was in awe of how tiny and delicate the baby girl was. She softly placed a kiss on her head and whispered "I'll always love you." as more tears fell from her eyes. Olivia had never even held a baby up until she held her own daughter and wished with all her heart she would be taking her home but that just wasn't on the cards. Emma was mostly kept in the nursery and wasn't breastfeeding so Olivia was alone in her room with her only visitors being the nurses.

Olivia managed to find her way to visit the nursery window despite still being sore and uncomfortable and would admire all the babies through the glass. She passed by happy parents with their new infants, visitors coming and going carrying flowers and gifts and felt herself giving in to her emotions as tears flowed from her eyes as she head back to her room. Olivia wrote a letter for Emma to read when she was older explain her situation and why she couldn't keep her along with a photo of herself holding her that one of the nurses so kindly took.

She wished with all her heart that one day her daughter might understand the decision she had made for and be reunited once again.

The past few days had been a blur, the doctor had cleared Olivia to go home which also meant it was time to say goodbye to Emma. Olivia packed her bag as one of the nurses walked into the room holding the baby girl and gave a sympathetic smile and passed Emma which would be the final cuddle she would have. Olivia took her in her arms and soaked in every inch of her tiny body, her scent, her tiny hands and feet in hopes that she would never forget the image of her daughter. She held onto her for 20 minutes pacing to room while rocking her gently mentally preparing herself for the upcoming goodbye as she whispered "I love you so much, I want you to always know that. You deserve the world and I can't give you that right now. I hope we can meet again some day and you can understand. You'll always be loved."

It was time to go. Olivia meet with the adoptive parents she had selected for the last time in a private waiting room. They lit up when they saw her walk in with the baby in her arms, eagerly waiting their brand new baby daughter. The couple couldn't have children of their own and had waited years for this very moment. They exchanged hugs, encouraging words of assurance to Olivia and took some photos. Olivia carefully slipped Emma into the arms of her waiting mother. As much as she was hurting right now she knew her decision was right and could allow her head and heart fight each other. The couple buckled the infant into a baby capsule and carried her away to start her life.

Olivia held it together, called a cab and headed back to her dorm room on campus. She opened the door, put her bag on the bed and unzipped it. Sitting on top neatly folded was Emma's pink blanket from the day she was born, she needed a something from her baby girl. Olivia took the blanket out of the bag and went to lay in her bed, her body ached and cramped all over as an evident reminder of what she had just been through. She curled up with the blanket bunched up close to her body, taking in the scent left by her baby as tears streamed down her face for what felt like hours until she eventually fell into darkness giving into total exhaustion.

Her life from this moment had to continue as usual, missing a piece of her and a piece of her heart.

She was alone once again.