A/N: hey everyone, hope everyone is ok. This is my first A/N of this fic I got going on. As you all know, I sat back and began making one shot and let this sitting for a while. College and life have been ridiculously hard, but with December around the corner I expect to pump out more chapters. Also, the story has changed a bit. Since the plot change hasn't been written, the story still is unaffected in these past chaps but do be prepared for the later chaps. Anyways, I want to thank IllusoryMist for beta reading. Anyways without further ado, let the story begin.
Chapter 3
The green earth, the symbol of life gone in an instant. The once fertile grounds were reduced to nothing, only craters filled the land. The once lushes' trees, broken or uprooted. The waters of a nearby lake, spilled all around as if it was a bathtub. The destruction was immense, and those responsible for it overlooked it. Two behemoths, standing 6 feet from each other. Both looked terrible: covered in dirt and mud, scratches all around, and the movement of the Eva's looked like that of an exhausted man. They looked at each other, not taking a single eye off the other. Soon the visual contact broke, and off to war they went.
*CLANG*
The banging of the Eva's metal armor could be heard for miles, as Unit-02 attacked the purple colossus, who crossed his arms to protect his face from Unit-02 incoming punches.
*CLANG*
*CLANG*
*CLANG*
*CLANG*
Time and time again, Unit 2 kept attacking Unit 1, but to no avail. Unit 1 tried to take off his defensive position and assume an offensive one but before he could even do such a thing, he was swiped under his legs, taking him completely by surprise. The purple beast fell back first into the ground. Stop I don't want to-
"Give up you bastard!" Asuka roared as she attacked Shinji, pinning him to the ground with every punch she threw. With Eva-02 on top of the purple behemoth, he had nowhere to go, every punch she gave made it sink deeper into the once green soil. "I should have never trusted you!".
Asuka kept punching Shinji's Eva, the arms of the purple beast slowly losing their strength, but just as Asuka was going to deliver the final punch, she was stopped. She couldn't move her hand. Shinji had caught the last fist Asuka would deal on him and punched her Eva directly in the face making her fall back, enough for Unit-01 to be freed from the clutches of Unit 2 legs.
"I-I-I am sorry Asuka but… I need to end this!" Eva-01 uncovered from one of its shoulder containers a staff. Soon, Eva-01 was charging at the red beast.
Asuka prepared herself to stand her ground, ready to halt his attack and finally show him, what true pains feel like. Keep charging you bastard, come on. I am not backing down, not now nor never, not after what you did.
With massive strength and force, she put her arms as if she were to punch or hold his staff when it came barreling down her face. "Ahhhh!" Asuka's battle scream was cut short when she realized what he had done. Eva-01 charged at Asuka only to slide at the last moment; using the staff to knock her down making Eva-02 fall on its face.
As Eva-02 was getting up, she looked behind her to see Eva-01 pointing the staff close to her neck. He looked at her, Shinji was sweating and was panting from the fighting. The LCL had turned bad, and it reeked of sweat.
*Clap*
*Clap*
*Clap*
Various claps could be heard from both pilot's interfaces. "Excellent work Shinji," Gendo transmitted. "As for you Ms. Soryu; disobedience and failing the test, you're fortunate Moscow deems you as a valuable asset, if not I would have had you shot," he scolded Asuka. "This doesn't imply you will avoid punishment Ms. Soryu."
Shinji looked at Eva-02, it was moving and thrashing around; as if having an epileptic seizure. Its arms extended and bent as if wanting to break off. Shinji heard what sounded like screams from within Eva-02, and it only got louder.
"Ahhh!" Asuka screeched as electric currents traveled her body, causing her to thrash in absolute pain. She was being tortured. It got worse every second that passed, she felt like she was going to die, but then it finally subsided, leaving her shaking and in severe pain.
She began to let tears fall from her eyes. She then saw Eva-01 kneeling down while using the staff as support; it extended a hand towards her. The purple behemoth's face didn't show off any emotions, however, its mannerism did the talk: it was slouched even while using the staff as support, it moved as if out of breath, and it looked down upon her as if trying to prove sorrow or empathy.
The red unit slapped its hand away, after that it began to get up. Unit-02 overshadowed Unit-01 since it was still kneeling. The red giant looked down on Eva-01. Shinji didn't even need to see her face; he knew what she was feeling. He saw Unit-02 stomp back to its elevator, never turning back. He won but at what cost?
Why did I do it? he thought while looking in the mirror of his locker. The room was quiet, his breathing was the only thing he could hear. It was almost pitch black, the only source of light came from the row of lockers he was in. The locker barely had anything in it, all it had were his clothes, his trusty SDAT along with some tapes.
He grabbed his clothes and began to undress. A compressed hiss came out of the suit as it fell to the ground, revealing his scarred back. Once he finished, he placed the suit in the locker, he investigated the mirror that was in the door. A mirror of the past one could say, photos of his sister and him were plastered on the edges of the mirror. He stared at them, the smiling and cheerful Shinji that was present in the pictures was nothing more than a relic of the past.
Before him was a broken man, his face filled with torment, his eyes were mournful, and his shoulders were slumped. As tears began to form, he closed his eyes, and began to whisper in a low wobbly voice, "I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away, I-I-I must run away, what am I saying." He clutched onto his locker door. He sobbed quietly, holding back any other emotion, if he were to release them, every piercing scream, every curse, and every sin would flow from his mouth revealing the misery of a man with truly nothing left, he had truly reached his lowest point.
As the young adult cried, now sitting on the bench with his locker still opened in front of him, a hiss from a door traveled the empty rows, and then again when it closed. Shinji began to get up, composing himself as to not let his father know what he has gone through. I must go on, even if it hurts, I can't show him weakness, not after what I did. He turns around to face the person walking towards him.
"Father, I followed orders, why ar-." Before he could finish his sentence, a painful force struck his face, making him fall backward. His body hit the white floor of the locker room; pain traveled through his face. The moment was so sudden that he hadn't grasped what had happened, and who or what hit him. He slowly regained composure and began to elevate himself; he was now on the floor with one leg raised and the other lying down straight. He placed his hand on his injured face.
"Stand up!" a demanding female voice told him. As he raised his eyes to look up, he saw his attacker. His eyes widened with fear, he saw Asuka towering over him. Her face was red, her face was filled with fury, she looked like an angry bull. "Are you deaf? I said stand back up!".
Shinji began to move backward, he feared Asuka, of her intimidation and violence. He had never seen this side of her.
"Where do you think you're going?" she shouted as she began to follow him not giving him any time to stand up or to talk.
"Not so strong and brave when you're not in your EVA, huh Shinji?"
"Wait Asuka, hear me out."
"Why the fuck should I listen to you?" Asuka looked down upon the scared Shinji who kept crawling back not knowing he was at the end of his line. He was at a dead end, he had nowhere else to go.
"Please, you don't understand I-I-I am so-." Asuka punched the locker above him, leaving a big dent.
"Shut up!" she snarled at Shinji who she then picked up by the collar of his shirt. She pulled him towards her. He could feel her breath, the breath of an angry bull. She was at her limit. Shinji looked down to his side, avoiding her eyes, staying slumped, and not making any attempt to stare at her eyes.
"You made me feel weak. Did I ever matter to you? Were those conversations in the car just fleeting moments to you?" she snapped at Shinji, now pinning him against the lockers, "you were the only person I thought I could trust. After everything I told you, you left me and decided to go back to daddy and lick his fucking boot."
Shinji finally mustered a bit of courage and looked into her eyes. He couldn't believe that Asuka would turn into such a beast.
"You're lucky I have to be your partner, otherwise I would have killed you already! Understand Shinji that before I met you, my hate for you was unjust, but now," she let go of his collar making him slide down the locker until he finally reached the ground, "I can safely say that I truly hate you."
Shinji didn't make any attempts to look at her, he remained slumped. She looked at Shinji, barely even moving, his face remained in the same position she found it, filled with a tired look as if he had given up. Pathetic. Asuka began to walk away from the lifeless Shinji but before she left, she hit Shinji where it hurt the most: his heart.
"Maybe your sister did deserve to be put in a coma so that you could understand that the world doesn't revolve around you."
*BANG*
Asuka quickly turned around to see the ruckus. Shinji had left a dent on the locker door from a punch he threw at it. He looked angry, he was filled with sorrow before, but Asuka's comment enveloped him, filled him with rage.
"You will never know how I feel!" he thundered at her, making Asuka recoil with shock. "You think you know everything? Well, you don't. You don't care about me, you speak as if you did, but I know you don't. You never made any attempt at understanding me." His voice kept thundering at Asuka, she became frozen with his words. He is right, I've only asked about his sister and told him about me, I truly never made any attempt at know- no what am I doing, the bastard is trying to confuse me and make me have pity for him.
Asuka's hand became a fist as Shinji kept talking as if he were right. She began to move towards him, unbeknownst to him. However, his next words would leave Asuka heartbroken. "I did it because I am willing to sacrifice things for the greater good, for what I want. Stop acting like a child and understand you aren't alone in this. I truly wan-" Shinji felt a painful force moving through his face as he was struck by Asuka in a fit of rage.
"Do not compare yourself to me you bastard!" she said as her fury began to subside into sadness, "you are a brat, saying that I didn't care about you. You truly don't understand anything, do you? Well, let me tell you Third, you just attacked the only person who gave a damn about you. I hope my trust and care for you was worth sacrificing," she grieved as her lips tremble, and her eyes burned as she tried to keep her tears at bay. She then ran away covering her face, disappearing into the darkness of the locker rooms.
"Asuka! Wait I didn't- I didn't mean to. This wasn't what I wanted." Shinji began to sob loudly falling to the floor.
"Why, why, why goddammit whyyyyy!" he roared as he hit the locker doors, his sobs turned into screams of pain. His fist began to become red with every hit, his resolve didn't falter, even after every hit. He truly felt like he had lost everything in his life. His fist began to die down in force, transforming from punches to slaps against the door, as he cried while shouting 'why' over and over.
The silence of the room was tense, so tense it could be cut with a knife. The darkness enveloped it; the only thing visible was the silhouette of a table whose shape was being illuminated by a white light. In its center lied the NERV insignia, with its slogan which read:
God is in his heaven; all is right in the world.
Soon the table would be occupied by various men. Each of these men had a mask with a number, followed by a strange symbol.
"Gendo Ikari, explain your actions," a gruff voice grumbled at the General Secretary, who was sitting at the end of the table. The General Secretary pushed his glasses up and crossed his hands.
"What is there to explain?" Gendo replied.
"Don't play with us Ikari, you know what we are talking about." Another voice replied.
"The Evangelion units are not toys to be played and tossed around," another voice interjected.
Soon more voices kept pilling on, all of them berating Ikari for his incompetency. These old men and their codes, they don't understand what it takes to do what must be-
"Silence!" the gruff voice yelled at all the members, "Ikari explain your motives at once!"
"Well gentlemen if I may, the Evangelion units were used in a test of strength. I believe SEELE wants these results, especially from their pilots."
Murmuring came from every SEELE member. You said it yourself Keel, 'only those who are ready to do what must be done, are worthy of attaining salvation.' Gendo smirked and continued. "My actions won't delay nor cripple the Human Instrumentality Project, in fact by doing so I only prepare our pilots for the next course of action in the Angel war."
Keel looked at Gendo with anger, even without seeing his face he knew Keels reaction to his words, but Keel also knew he was right.
"Very well, your little accident is forgiven, but only for the reason you stated. The Dead Sea Scrolls specify the coming of more angels and as such we must be prepared." Some members began grumbling at Keel's sudden pardon, but he silenced them by putting his hand up and continuing with his speech. "After we end any more angel obstacles, Instrumentality shall begin, and humanity's sins will be forgiven."
Keel began to look at one of the members of the group: SEELE#8. "Comrade Kravchenko, I take it that you had some information to show us?" Keel asked the member.
In a deep Russian voice, he replied to the German. "Indeed. As you all know, the Soviet Union began to lend funding to some companies. In the papers we found, significant amounts went to a company called Russia Heavy Chemicals. From what we gathered; these fools are trying to outplay us by building a mech to rival an Evangelion unit."
"Preposterous, this little mech they have is inferior to the EVA." One of the SEELE members said.
"They are playing a dangerous game."
"How are we still supporting Russia's endeavors when they do this treachery."
More and more members kept talking over each other. Gendo remained still and watched with a smirk on his face.
"Quiet everyone!" Keel yelled at the other members, "tell us, is this matter resolved or of any nuisance to the project?"
"No. In fact, they gave us the perfect tools to deal with it," Kravchenko indicated.
"Very well comrade." Keel then addressed the rest of the members. "Gentlemen, we have concluded our session. And as for you Gendo, I expect readiness against the Angels. I expect better results and fewer failures from your 'tests'."
"Yes Mr. Keel. SEELE will be pleased with my results, and I can assure you Human Instrumentality shall be achieved." Gendo smirked under his crossed hands as he looked directly at Keel. Keel then disappeared as well as every other member, their holograms shut off and the lights came back into the room, as the automatic curtains opened revealing the rest of the room.
"The old men plot while the young die, ironic don't you think?" a modulated voice came from behind Gendo. The man standing behind him wore a dark reddish-brown buttonless uniform, he had grey hair and was tall -taller than the General Secretary himself- and wore an armband with the PRN Flag.
"Indeed, the old men believe they are gaining ground for the completion of their scenario, but soon they shall learn the truth. Our scenario goes as planned Fuyutsuki. We must make sure the pilots are ready."
"Yes, Commander. The sins of man shall be forgiven, and peace shall be restored once we complete our journey." The old man replied with a smile towards Ikari.
"Man shall be reborn. Let us continue Professor." Gendo smiled under his crossed hands while looking at a map of the world pre-second impact which covered the floor of the room.
The window of a room was open, the curtains blew high from a breeze that swept into the room. A man lied on a bed on the floor, typical Japanese style bedding, he was fast asleep, enjoying every moment of it. "Mmmmm, Misato you've gotten thinner," he said as he began hugging her, "and… hairier?"
He opened his eyes to see a furry animal locked in his arms, it was squawking to be let out of this lock. "Oh, sorry Pen Pen." Kaji released the bird, who trashed about to fix his fur, he then waddle out of the room, closing the door behind him. Kaji looked at the ceiling of the room he was in. Home sweet home.
"Good morning sleepyhead. I made some breakfast," Misato smiled, pointing at the questionable food on the table. His pleasant morning quickly left him when he realized Misato was cooking. "Ah thanks, babe," he said trying not to sound mean. She wasn't the best cook and her "dishes" were questionable. Kaji still remembered the time she decided to make Miso soup, he still remembers the horrible taste as if it was yesterday. He sat down and looked at his plate: a piece of bread which was burnt and some Ramen with a strange sauce on top of it. Ramen, really Misato.
He ate his breakfast with green forming in his face as he went through it. "What do you think?" Misato asked.
"Mmm, it's good, mmmm," Kaji said with a mouthful trying not to vomit out his fiancé definition of breakfast. Misato looked a Kajis's face, she knew her wasn't good. She let out a big sigh. "You don't have to lie; I know my cooking isn't good. Guess will buy something on the way to work," she conceded. "Sometimes I wish I could cook as good as Shinji." She picked up his plate and threw it away; she began to clean the dishes. She looked at Kaji and noticed that the mind of the charming and meticulous agent was somewhere else.
"Speaking of Shinji, what happened to him and Asuka?" he inquired while crossing his arms, "what happened on their test?"
"Oh," she murmured, "I thought you knew. Didn't Asuka… tell you?".
"Ever since that day, she hasn't spoken to me. I've tried to make my presence known by mentioning the mission or giving her my support, but she hasn't budged." Kaji looked at his coffee. It was also made by her, though this was edible because of the sugar she added; he stared at it with a worried expression. He felt hopeless as he couldn't help the only other person, he genuinely cared for in his life other than his fiancé. "What happened Misato?" the spy asked his fiancé. The fact he was undercover didn't mean he knew everything. Tokyo-3 had tight security, not everything that happened in the Geofront was known to him in an instance.
"Well…after their simulation test, the General Secretary decided to authorize the usage of the Evangelion units in a combat situation against each other. I, Akagi, and NERV Bridge Staff weren't allowed to communicate or help the pilots. Kaji…he…" Misato trailed off, she looked at the table, tears began to form as her hands became a fist, "they fought. Shinji attacked her first, and Asuka lost control. She felt betrayed is what I am saying."
He got up and hugged her. "There, there, I understand it wasn't easy seeing him be tortured. I understand-" Kaji was stopped by Misato, who wasn't finished with her story.
"No babe, he wasn't tortured, she was. She lost against him, and the Secretary looked to make an example out of her. He electrocuted her. Kaji, we heard her screams…God that scream. I have never felt more terrible in my life than in that moment." Misato began to cry a bit more, feeling horrible about the state she was in; however, Kaji's face was of shock, he couldn't believe what happened to his daughter, she was attacked and tortured. I see this is your game Ikari. Well, it doesn't matter, this will all end soon, and you will pay. If not by the UN, then by me. I won't let you leave alive, not after what you've done.
Kaji remained by Misato's side as she began to cry from the scene running in her head. "The mission," Misato asked Kaji, "what is it? No bullshit, tell me Kaji".
Kaji sighed, he went around the table and sat on his seat; he pulled a lighter and a cigarette. After taking a puff of the cigarette, he began. "Fine, I'll let you in on it. Operation Downfall is the codename for the mission to take down Ikari's Japan. The operation involves various agencies, including the United States, Germany, Canada, and the UK. We are to find and deliver intel of certain areas, VIP targets, and supply training to the underground militia. Once all of that is complete, Phase 2 begins."
Kaji played with the cigar in his hand, bits of it falling onto the wooden table as Misato looked at his relaxed state when telling him of the operation. "In Phase 2 we begin the pre-assault preparations."
"Huh?" Misato interrupted Kaji, "Pre assault for what Kaji?" He ignored Misato's question and kept talking.
"Once everything is in place, Phase 3 begins. This is the answer to your question. Phase 3 will have MACV SOG and SAS operatives alongside militia-backed insurgents overthrow Japan in the cover of darkness. The coup will then begin to give the illusion to a conspiracy, just like we did in Iran back in '53 and in '68 in Cuba. We will make it look like a coup within the government killed Gendo, and well the rest is in the United Nations hands".
"What about, you know?" Misato questioned. Kaji looked at her face, she wasn't doing very well. She looked tired and recked as if tearing her eyes for hours nonstop. Kaji extinguished his cigarette and looked at her.
"Gendo Ikari is number one priority; however, the CIA and British intelligence thought that allowing the other two to get off free would inspire the continuation of the Ikari legacy," Kaji confessed to Misato, "because of this, Shinji and Rei are also marked for elimination. Though I was able to speak to the men in charge of the operation, they gave me till the 1st of January to prove we could change him. I am sorry Misato."
Kaji gave Misato a defeated look, Misato came to him and stroked his face with her soft hand. She looked into his eyes: his eyes were filled with regret. "Kaji…if Shinji isn't turned," Misato retorted, "who calls the shot?" Kaji took his fiancé's hand and kissed it, leaving it close to his mouth.
"You already know who."
Misato's eyes widened. She was afraid of the words he spoke, was it real? Kaji, how could you do that to your family?
"She will kill him?"
"I had no choice but to accept the deal, otherwise Shinji and Rei would be shot on the spot once it began." He looked at her, he had his usual look of seriousness, though under it she knew he was suffering. Of what he knew his adoptive daughter would have to do in order to finish the job. Misato hugged Kaji. Both remained to embrace one another, hoping to remain like such, however, time was running out.
"We have to talk to them Kaji. It's the only way." She looked at Kaji, he looked like he had given up but raised his head and looked at Misato with confidence. "Yeah, your right. Though I think you should talk to Asuka."
"Wait me?" Misato asked confused, she had no idea of what Asuka was like on a personal level. "I can't talk to her. I don't know her fully to understand what she goes through."
"You're a woman, Misato, I'd say that's enough to make you understand her. I'll talk to Shinji. Just make sure to let her know you're there to help her." Kaji looked at Misato and got up, getting ready to head out.
"Coming?" Kaji said while extending a hand to Misato. She nodded and grabbed his hand, as both went out of the apartment and headed for their vehicle.
Asuka lied in bed covering her face with the pillow. She had been through hell; she had been betrayed. Never had she felt something like this since her mother betrayed her. She only came out for tests and simulations. She had begun to take public transportation. Even though she got shot strange eyes by the Japanese for being the only European on board, it was better than riding with him. She thought it was best to remain trapped in her eternal hell than to face Shinji.
Her face left the pillow and she sat upright in her bed. She grabbed something from her nightstand and began to look at it. The only reminder of her pain: a photo of the boy she had come to hate. She kept looking at his blue orbs. Ever since laying her eyes upon his, she hasn't been able to understand why she felt mesmerized by them.
He is nothing more than a brat. I should have never trusted him. Why did you do it? You ruined everything, I finally felt something… I felt a con-
"Asuka? You there?" Misato knocked on the door.
Asuka quickly hid the photo in her drawer as she heard the Lieutenant Major at her door.
"Go away," Asuka replied with an annoyed tone.
The door opened and Misato came in. Asuka was stunned until she saw the key in her hand. So, this is your plan, huh Kaji?
Misato saw the girl sitting in a fetal position on her bed. She grabbed a chair from the kitchen and placed it in front of the bed. As she sat down, she saw the girl's expressions: she was tired, her eyes looked like they had been recently crying and her hair was a mess.
"Asuka, how are you feeling?" Misato asked the girl with concern.
"I am fine. Now can you leave?" Asuka lied in bed and turned around to face the other side avoiding contact with the boy's former guardian.
"Asuka, listen, I know what happened that day. What he did truly cannot be forgiven, however, you must understand he had no control."
Asuka knew that already, she knew the boy's father ruled over his life, yet she felt he could do much better at resisting than giving in. Though she doubted his abilities, she underestimated how far he would go for such praise.
"Yeah, under his control. Next time he brutally beats me up or kills me, let's just say he was under a magic communist spell." Asuka shot an angry look, though it reached no one as she was facing the opposite way, avoiding Misato. She couldn't trust him, no matter what Misato said. The boy was dangerous and unpredictable, there was no way she could forgive or even trust a man like that again.
"Misato, let me tell you something. Have you ever cared for someone and then found out they could betray you because they were attached to what they did?" Asuka waited for a 'no' from Misato, hoping she could strike her emotional blow, though it never came, instead of shock-filled Asuka. "Yes, I know how it feels."
Asuka turned around, she fixed her posture and straighten up, keeping a V-shape with her legs as if they were in a butterfly position. Misato looked at her and sighed. "When I first met Kaji, I hated him so much, with every bone in my body. He didn't pay attention, he felt distant from me, it almost felt like I was his pleasure device and nothing more. Yet, I cared for him. He gave everything, safety, warmth, and understanding, yet he could never say those three words to me: I-love-you. He always knew how to get to me but failed to understand what I needed the most."
"Then that faithful day came. I went to his house to tell him we were through. Opened his door and adrenaline kicked in. I saw his apartment was a mess, there were signs of struggle and forced entry; I ran to the bedroom to see him being strangled by someone in a black ski mask. His face…" Misato stopped to clean her eyes, which were tearing up from the memory of seeing her partner clinging onto his life. "His face was almost lifeless, I couldn't move. Then I saw his lips move. I didn't hear what he said but all I remember is that they read, 'Misato…help…me'."
Asuka looked at Misato with shock, she had never imagined Kaji being in such a situation where he couldn't handle himself. She knew he wasn't perfect, but she didn't think it would be to such an extent.
Asuka continued listening to Misato who had stopped to grab a tissue to clean her eyes. "I grabbed his gun and after that everything went blank in my head. I had never killed anyone before. It felt horrible, even if I was saving my partner's life. He comforted me and revealed everything. After that, I understood his reasoning for not wanting to promise me anything."
Misato raised herself from the seat and looked down on Asuka. "With that said, what Shinji did to you is horrible and shouldn't be forgotten nor forgiven; however, he deserves an opportunity to explain himself to you. Like Kaji, he might have his own reasons, some of which you may not understand completely."
Asuka looked at Misato, she felt different about her. She had thought the purple-haired Lieutenant General was the one who couldn't tell him, but it seems she was wrong. Misato looked different in Asuka's eyes, a woman caught up in the games of a spy, yet despite it all, she loves him, even with her knowing that he could die. That selfish idea of dying and leaving others behind, putting your life in danger while knowing people will miss you, that was beyond Asuka. She knew Misato could handle it, yet she held a distaste for Kaji's actions, no one, not even Misato deserves a life like this.
"Yeah, right. I doubt he has his reason. I know Shinji doesn't care!" Asuka retorted while crossing her arms. Nothing she said could convince her that Shinji had other intentions, his actions screamed bloody murderer. What man took advantage of a mentally weak woman to advance his achievements. She was disgusted by such actions.
"Asuka, there is an old saying that goes 'Don't judge a book by its cover'. How can you know him if you've only scratched the surface. I'd say you'd be surprised if you knew about his life."
"Wait you know about hi- I mean so you know about his past, big deal." Asuka tried but ultimately failed to sound disinterested in the boy's past. She just couldn't forget about those scars, there were so many. She knew his life hadn't been an easy one, she hated him, so why was she feeling like she cared still.
"Yes, however, that's for you to uncover."
Asuka frowned as she began to break her view of Misato, turning around and refusing to meet her eyes. Asuka craved that information, but she didn't want to talk to him. She despised him, she felt weak when she thought of him or when she was around him. She avoided him when in HQ, she would shoot him angry looks to avoid conversation. Finally, she broke.
"Misato… I cared for him; I cared for Shinji," Misato looked at her, she was about to cry, her face filled with regret. Misato stood up and sat on her bed next to Asuka. She placed her arm around the German girl, "he is different. I feel as if I connected with him during our first week. I had always thought the world had no one who could understand me, and I thought that was good. No interruptions, no distractions, all I had was my piloting and spying career. I strived to be alone but then…he came." Asuka looked at her hand, the same one she had used to hit him. She looked at her hand, closing it and forming a fist. "That idiot made me feel weak because he made me realize how similar we were."
A tear came out of her eye as she removed Misato's hand and stood up. "So yes, I liked him, however, after some thinking, I've decided that I can't anymore, he would make my life unlivable."
Misato stared at the redhead with surprise after her comment. Misato didn't expect such an answer. Before Misato could say anything, Asuka interrupted. "However, that doesn't mean I won't follow through with my mission. I'll keep talking to him and complete the mission. After that, he and I can go our own separate paths."
Misato looked at the pilot with content and approached her, placing her arms around her. Even though the German girl wanted to break free, she left herself to be trapped in her arms. "That's good Asuka. I understand. Don't worry, this will all be over soon."
Both women stood next to the bed, hugging each other. Asuka felt safe, even though she didn't trust Misato, the care and advice she gave her meant a lot to her; probably more than she thought. I won't give up. He won't stop me.