Hmm? You thought that just because I'd decided to pick up some loose threads of a nearly decade old story and break these characters out of a time loop that I was going to let things go as planned and let them be happy? No. I've returned to make these characters suffer. Or I suppose... Just to make Shinichi in particular suffer, I guess most of the other's will be let off with a warning.
Chapter 8: Paranoia
I suppose I should have known it to be possible, likely even after all the efforts I've made, but it had barely crossed my mind to think that perhaps the organization truly was already gone.
That nightmare had been just a normal nightmare, and I've been jumping at shadows for no reason.
Of course there's no organization. I took care of it. I defeated them.I killed him. I won.
The reason I haven't been able to find a trace of them ever since I did the deed is simply that they're gone.
… What do I do now?
I guess I'll help Kid out if he wants since I've already offered, and I'd like to reconnect with the friends I had in the future but… aside from that what exactly am I supposed to do now?
Live a normal life?
I thought I knew what that meant but thinking about it now the last ten years of my life have been so strange I'm not sure I know what's normal anymore. I'm a teenager right now, and maybe I won't age at a normal rate but without this shadow looming over me I'll finally be able to exist as Kudo Shinichi- but what exactly does that mean? What did I even want to do with my life before it got derailed that day at tropical land? Was I going to just keep being a consulting detective forever? Or was I going to settle down and find some other job but solve mysteries on the side like my father did? Maybe I would have joined the police. It's impossible to say now what could have been, but what do I want now?
What's my dream, my goal? Without a threat of imminent death of my loved ones am I simply empty? A book that's already been read. A tool that's served it's purpose. A discarded plate that had once contained a satisfying meal.
Breaking me away from my increasingly troubled thoughts Toichi spoke up, "There have been plenty of people that would try to kill or use Kid, as well as copycat criminals, and there's not any sinister plot behind my disappearance like your deduction would have suggested."
Right. Right… I should focus on what's in front of me for now and think about the fact that I may have suddenly fulfilled what I thought would be my life's work and am now feeling that my future may be a bit hollow. Yeah, definitely repress that to unpack later.
"What about that group you said was hiring thieves to steal Pandora?" I ask, clinging to the one thread of a chance that I haven't been making a fool of myself this whole time by going on about an evil organization that doesn't exist.
Mercilessly he shoots down my hope, "Group? No, it was just some rich old man that wanted to live forever."
"One more question, those thieves, did they have code names with any kind of theme?"
The branch of the organization I knew best was always the one with alcohol codenames, but in my timeline at least I know that Kaito dealt with someone called Spider as well as one called Snake who had been the one that killed Toichi. Spider and Snake, 'animals' seems like it may be too simple a pattern, predators perhaps?
"A theme… No, I don't think so. Their naming sense is rather unorganized. Red, Dark, Spider, Chat Noir, Rose, Snake, Eris, Raven... they're completely all over the place."
Hmm some of those fit the animal theme, and quite a few are colors, but it seems unlikely that all these names would be in the same grouping unless they really are just thieves for hire. Looks like Snake exists in this world too, but it seems he's a thief rather than an assassin- I wonder how the ripples managed to reach that far. Well he's still a criminal so it must not be that big a difference in his fate.
"I see… Thank you for telling me." I mutter, getting out of my chair, "I have some things to think about now, but if you'd like my help with anything in the future please call me."
"Wait just a moment, you mentioned having something you may want help stealing…"
Ah right I said that part out loud too… but if the organization isn't around then that may no longer be a concern.
"I'll need to look into it a bit myself then get back to you at a later date. It may not be necessary…"
"I trust you know how to get in touch then?"
"I'll find a discrete way." I respond and leave the room with a backwards wave.
I leave the bar and find myself going to sit alone in a park.
If they really don't exist in this timeline than being in public like this shouldn't be a problem, even if they are still around it's not likely they'd actually notice me, the only one to worry about would be Vermouth but she's more or less on my side…. If she even still exists.
"I should have tried this earlier…" I murmur to myself as I take out my phone and do a quick google search for Chris Vinyard. There are a few hits but none of them are the one I'm looking for. I changed the search to Sharon Vinyard, also much fewer results than you would expect to come up for a famed American actress, and none of the image results show anyone I recognize.
Does she not exist in this timeline? Or did she just not become an actress?
I guess I'll need to wait until I have some more conclusive evidence before I can come to any satisfactory conclusions. It'll be safer to assume that they still exist until I can actually prove the contrary.
It's not like there's any negative consequences to being overly careful about this.
A shadow moves in the periphery of my vision, my eyes snap over to subtly scope out the situation.
Just a man in a navy tracksuit walking his dog.
Not wearing black, not one of them. Or at least not on a mission. Just a man walking a dog.
I keep my head low as he passes by just in case, and start to head home once he's out of my line of sight.
"I've become paranoid." I admit to myself.
It had been necessary to survive when I was 'Conan', fighting an organization that could be anywhere, anyone. If I slipped up even just a little and let them know who their enemy was then everyone I cared for could be in danger.
But if killing Conan was enough, if they don't exist… I don't need those sharpened reflexes anymore. I don't need to jump at every shadow. I don't need to be so paranoid that I'm not comfortable showing my face in public anymore.
It's a new frontier for me, but I need to get used to it. It may very well be that the reality I live in is one where there is no one currently is after my life. If they are gone then maybe I'm safe, maybe I can finally relax.
Sure there are still criminals in this world, but it'd be impossible to completely eradicate crime without getting rid of the law entirely, and even that would be a pyhrric victory at best. No, I don't need to eliminate all crime, just them being gone is enough, I can handle the rest.
Maybe… just maybe I should try acting like I really believe they're gone. At worst if they are around then it'll draw them out to kill me, but I can deal with that if it comes to it.
If anything it'd be reassuring if only to have a concrete answer as to whether or not they're still around.
It's a bit intimidating, but I'll try going to school tomorrow.
I'm sure Ran will be surprised.
That's the last thought I have as I climb into bed for the night and promptly drift to sleep.
The first thing that I notice is the smell. The pungent odor of rotting garbage stings my nostrils and burns my eyes as they open to find I'm standing in the middle of a landfill.
A dream?
I hear the familiar static of a police radio just as I catch sight of some police tape in the distance surrounding an area.
Ah, not a dream but a nightmare.
My legs feel weak as I head to the crime scene. I'm a detective, I solve crimes, my role here is clear I just need to stay in character.
Arriving at the edge of the crime scene tape I see several familiar officers, some of them give a nod or motion of acknowledgement as I duck under the tape and enter the scene.
For the first time in a long time I find myself feeling sick to my stomach at the sight of a corpse.
"Ah, Kudo-kun, you're here," Someone says, I can't tell who- the world around me seems blurry and undefined only the scene of the crime is uncomfortably clear.
Someone else asks, "So, what do you think?"
They've made an outline around the corpse in child's pajamas spilling out of a trash bag. It's rotted since the last time I saw it but it's undoubtedly him. No one that had met Conan would mistake this corpse for anyone else.
I try to act a bit surprised to see who it is.
This is my crime scene… I have to do what I can to avoid forensics checking anything. I can't let dna be tested, no one is going to expect that child to actually be the real Shinichi Kudo so if it gets out that the only dna that can be found on that corpse is mine then there will be no easy way to get past being the primary suspect.
Right they asked for my opinion, didn't they? Play the part of a detective, but don't give away any incriminating details, stick to what can be deduced from what I can see here.
"Considering the body was disposed of, it's safe to assume that this is murder… whether intentional or accidental. Multiple stab wounds and no other external signs of injuries, it's safe to assume that was the cause of death. Based on the size of the wounds I'd wager that the murder weapon is a common kitchen knife-"
"No, I mean… can you ID him? Isn't this that Conan kid that was living out of your house for a bit a while back? The one that fancied himself some kind of kind detective?"
Oh… I'm not here as a detective. I'm here to ID the body, I'm here as next of kin… I may be here as a witness, possibly even as a suspect.
"Ah right… Sorry. That's Conan without a doubt." Then I dig into my lies, "He left my house to go back to his parents more than a month ago, judging by the decay I'd say he never made it back to them though…"
"Damn shame, that is. Poor kid didn't deserve this…"
I know he didn't deserve it. He did nothing wrong. Hell if things had been just a little different it could have been me in his place… but still he had to die. It was the only way.
The corpse shifts, making unnatural movements as it turns to face me.
"Shinichi-niichan, why?"
None of the police are reacting. It's all in my head. This isn't real. This can't be real.
The edges of my vision fray, and everything but me and the body disappear. Slowly it stands up, Conan stands up.
"Why…?" He asks again, shambling his way towards me.
"I had to," I finally answered him, my voice squeaking a little, "It was the only hope I had."
He leveled a silent glare at me.
"I tried, I really did, but I couldn't, but this was the only way… just going against them in a normal way isn't enough. The scale is too large, even with all the connections I had in the future we still failed… But killing you will make it all go away. And the only person that has to suffer for it is Kudo Shinichi…. Just us."
He opens his mouth to respond, but suddenly I hear the abrasive beeping of my alarm clock.
6 AM… right, I was actually going to go to school today.
Though after a dream like that maybe it's better to sit around at home and stew in my emotions for a bit, I've clearly got some kind of guilt complex going on I can't talk to a therapist about any of it but it'd be good if I could come to terms with this
No, no, socializing a bit will do me some good. I've been stuck in my own head too much lately, I need to get out and actually live as Kudo Shinichi for once.
I start getting ready for school.
Shower, check.
Uniform, check.
Breakfast, check.
All on time. Ready to leave.
But as I step out the door I notice something on the doorstep.
A chill runs down my spine and my heart sinks.
At first I try to tell myself that it's not what I think it is, that it's just a lump of discarded clothing someone's inexplicably left on my doorstep.
But I know the truth.
I know this auburn-haired child resting unconscious on my doorstep in ill-fitting clothes, and I know why she's here.
A sinister echo of words once spoken by the evil version of Conan once said to me resurface in my mind, "Even if it wasn't me, someone else would have become 'that person'... the organization is something that would have always existed."
They still exist.
It's not over.
I haven't fixed anything.
All I did was murder someone.