Chapter 2: Rough on the surface
It was James Potter.
Lily entered the Prefects' carriage aboard the Hogwarts Express on September 1st to find the Marauder sitting on the narrow desk of the Heads' compartment, face focused on the parchment before him. He had changed to his school uniform already, the thick frames of his spectacles matching his dark robes, where a Head Boy badge was shiningly pinned.
He raised his head when Lily opened the door and offered her a closed-lip smile. She hesitated for a few beats, mind running with the image in front of her, before she stepped in and closed the door behind her. She checked his Head Boy badge again, as if to confirm it was not a product of her imagination, and took a closer look to the parchment he was holding. It appeared to be the schedule of the train patrol.
- Hi, Evans – Potter said, when it was obvious Lily did not intend to break the silence. - Surprise.
- Potter.
James Potter was Head Boy.
"What the actual fuck" was her first thought. Potter wasn't even a prefect. Lily knew that this wasn't an irremovable rule, there were known cases of Head students who hadn't been prefects before they were named for the capacity. But those were rare. Lily had been certain that one of the seventh-year prefects was going to be chosen, since they all more than fulfilled the requirements.
Instead, the Headmaster picked Potter. Popular, likeable, Pureblood James Potter. To be Head Boy to the rigorous, obstinate, Muggleborn Head Girl. Lily hated to admit but it made sense.
She inhaled deeply and finally moved forward, taking the place in the chair next to him.
- Congratulations on the badge. What do you have there, the train's patrolling schedule? - Lily asked, indicating the parchment on his hand with her head.
- Yeah, here. Uh, congratulations to you too. Though that was hardly a surprise – Potter said in a pleasant voice, passing Lily the schedule.
She hummed as a reply, eyes scanning the parchment. She had planned her entire first week in Hogwarts while she was still sitting in the comfort of her bedroom in Cokeworth. She memorized A Guide to Becoming the Best Head Students of Hogwarts from beginning to end, so she would know exactly what she was supposed to do in her first moves as Head Girl. Meet the Head Boy at the Prefects' carriage and run together the first meeting. In the meeting, introduce herself and get better acquainted with her fellow prefects, especially the newly appointed fifth-years. Present the outline of the next year, align expectations. And, lastly, draw up a patrolling schedule for the ride to Scotland. After the prefects were gone, she would spend an extra half an hour with the Head Boy, organizing their next weeks and what their following steps should look like.
They had barely started their partnership and Potter had already wrecked her plans.
- I see you've already drawn up the whole schedule – she commented, arching an inquisitive brow to the boy on her side.
- Yeah, I hope that's alright. I arrived early, so I had plenty of time. - He shrugged, one hand predictably shooting to the back of his dark mop. - And Remus guided me through it, so I'm confident that it's not complete rubbish. What do you think?
Lily took her time to go through each patrolling prefect and their set up. It seemed fine. But, of course, if Remus was involved, that was no wonder.
- Looks good – Lily said, quickly trying to adjust the plans she'd traced in her head to this new situation, which she hadn't seen coming. She'd imagined her Head activities alongside every possible seventh-year prefect, even Severus, trying to mentally prepare for their future exchanges. She obviously didn't prepare for Potter. - Thanks for taking care of it.
- Don't mention it – he replied easily, a toothy smile adorning his face now.
Lily nodded, turning her head away from him, willing herself to calm down. She wasn't a big fan of surprises and being caught off guard like that. She liked to know what she had to do before she had to do it. That's why she usually felt unease around Potter and Black, especially the latter, because she never knew what to expect from them. But she had no choice now, she needed to make it work with the Head Boy.
He had already started the planning without her. It was fine, she told herself. No big deal. Breathe in, breathe out. All they needed to do now was to have a heart-to-heart concerning their roles, and how they wanted to navigate this. She knew Potter was a trouble-maker, who was known for his wild personality and lack of interest in academic accomplishments, but she imagined he would want to make an effort to ensure they had a smooth relationship.
But then again, she didn't know him.
She thought she did, at least enough to pass judgment, but the conclusions she'd arrived in the summer, if accurate, made it clear she didn't know the first thing about him. Even less than before, she didn't know what to expect of the Marauder.
She turned back to him, feeling for the first time in a long time unsure of herself. When she lifted her eyes, he was already looking at her.
- You have a tan.
- Uh, excuse me?
- You're tanned. You're darker than you usually are. I thought you only got sunburnt-red but I can see I was wrong.
Lily bit back a grimace. What was he on about?
She shook her head, as if to clear it, and tried to carry on.
- Eh, yeah, I suppose so... Hm, okay, so Potter. – She organized her thoughts. - How do you want to play this?
- What do you mean?
- I mean us as Head Boy and Girl. We can't say we have much experience working together, since you're not even a prefect and we don't have the best record of, eh, of dealing with each other. I was just wondering what are your expectations for this year and how can we align yours with mine so we can yield the best results for everyone.
Potter blinked and immediately frowned. She waited, holding her breath, apprehensive of his reaction.
- I guess similar to yours - he said after a pause. - Well, not exactly the same, because you know much more than me, and your expectations must be quite higher, but I suppose I want this to work out as much as you do and to be the best Head Boy I can be. So I'd say we should come up with a plan for the rest of the year, with our respective duties, shared of course in a good balance, and make sure we're on the same page regarding our goals and the means to achieve such goals.
There.
Absolutely not what she would have ever expected from him.
Lily stared at the bespectacled boy in front of her. She tried to reconcile what she knew of him with all their interactions up to that moment. She couldn't. And she knew she had a decision to make, right on the spot. She could hold his previous inability to be a good, or even average, example to the rest of the students against him, condemning since the start his legacy as Head Boy, or she could afford him a clean slate from which he could rebuild his reputation before her eyes. She knew most of it would have to come from him, how he chose to behave from there on, but as co-Head, she had co-responsibility. Her inclination to whole-heartedly accept his part of the deal or not could be the watershed of their relationship.
In the split-second Lily took to consider her next move, her green eyes locked on his hazel, the memory of her summer conjectures flashed before her mind. She remembered her speculations of the motive behind his, and his friends', Animagus transformation – to be there for Remus. To help him during the worst times of his life. Lily's heart softened. Potter might be arrogant, reckless, immature, whatever names she wanted to call him. But this piece of information confirmed what she'd suspected all along – his nature was good. And that was enough for her.
- Sounds good to me – she finally replied, smiling for the first time since she entered the compartment. - How about we talk with the prefects first about the schedules and the next meetings, and then we stay behind a while longer to figure out those goals you mentioned, huh? - As if in cue, the door of the cabin opened and the first prefects came in, taking their seat in the small benches around the Heads' desk.
Potter mirrored her smile, nodding his assent, and they turned to the students facing them.
The meeting passed without hiccups. Lily knew most of the prefects on a certain personal level. Besides Remus and Severus, she shared Ancient Runes with seventh-year Ravenclaw Emma Rabon and was in the Slug Club together with sixth-year Hufflepuff Bobbi Carhartt. Nuur Shafiq was the prefect Lily liked the best, after Remus, having spent previous meetings and Prefect duties in lovely company with the seventh-year Hufflepuff.
Overall, Lily felt confident about her position among the students in front of her. She'd been mildly worried about the new fifth-year Slytherins who were joining the likes of Rosier and Selwyn as the house prefects, but the two newcomers didn't show off signs of causing Lily much trouble in the future. Most of the ensemble before Lily listened to her welcoming words with a friendly face, easily accepting her instructions and the schedule that Potter had put together. There was one or two slightly barbed remarks from the sixth-year Slytherins but that was to be expected.
What pacified Lily was the impression that most of them, if not all, recognized her authority as a given. Though it was, since she'd been appointed Head Girl by the Headmaster. But Lily had prepared for some resistance, for a somewhat rejection of the symbolism that came with having a Muggleborn occupying the highest place in the student body. There was none. Not even from the Slytherins.
Relieved, Lily commanded the meeting without problems, forcing herself to occasionally stop and ask for Potter's input or leave him time to elaborate if he so wished. He didn't speak much, but seemed prepared enough to help her carry out their first jointed task. He distributed the patrolling rounds without prompt, asking if there were any doubts or disagreements. The prefects shook their heads, and after being informed of their official first Heads' meeting on the following Monday, left the compartment to start their patrols. Remus stayed behind to exchange words with Potter, to no one's surprise. Sending a smile his way, and avoiding Severus' departing gaze, Lily turned to Nuur.
- I'm so happy you're our Head Girl. This year's just become a lot easier for us – she was saying in her sweet, kind voice.
- Thank you, Shaffy. – Lily squeezed her shoulder in appreciation. - How was your summer?
- It was alright. Been to too many formal balls for my liking, but also spent a couple weeks in Italy and France, so can't really complain.
- Oh, that sounds brilliant. I've never been to neither of the countries, which one did you like the most?
- I'd say, eh, Italy. I think. - Nuur looked over her shoulder before answering. She turned her handsome almond-shaped brown eyes back to Lily but before she could add anything, Potter interrupted her.
- Hi, Nuur, how's it going?
Potter and Remus were by their side now, trading pleasantries. They told them about their summer, inquiring after Lily's, who entertained them with the retelling of her exquisite adventures stuck in her room for six weeks. She didn't detail what was busying her mind during the entire period. She suspected they wouldn't be so entertained anymore.
- But I did spend the last two weeks in Cassandra's pool house, so it wasn't all that bad in the end. I'm just being dramatic. – Lily sulked exaggeratedly, making Nuur laugh.
- Ah, that's why you look so tanned. I was starting to wonder if I remembered your skin colour wrong – teased Remus.
- That's what I said.
- No, what you said was 'I thought you could only become a tomato, guess I was almost right'.
- I mostly certain did not say that, you're being dramatic again.
Lily rolled her eyes at Potter and turned back to Nuur.
- Shaffy, how's your sister?
Ten minutes later, Remus and Nuur gone to perform their duties, Lily closed the compartment door, coming to sit back again at the desk next to the Head Boy.
- That went well – she began.
- It did. Again, no surprises here, you were born for this – was Potter's reply. - I've never been to one of those, as everyone knows, but for what I heard from Remus, these meetings rarely go down so smoothly. I expected way more shit from the Slytherins than what we got.
- Yeah, same. I was quite relieved, to be honest.
- I guess they're dumb but they're not stupid. They know better than to fuck with you – Potter declared, showing all his teeth in a smile. Lily could swear he had more than thirty-two.
- That never stopped them before, though. But no matter, I'm glad things went well, I'm not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.
- A what?
Lily snickered.
- Nothing, Potter. Just a muggle expression. Shall we start with the preparation for this week? - At Potter's agreement, Lily mentally rescued all the plans she had carefully built during the past weeks, glad to be able to put them to use, now that she found she wouldn't have to adjust all her expectations about working with the Head Boy after all. - So I thought that the first step should be to divide our tasks. For example, I particularly like coming up with patrol schedules and meetings' plans, but not such a fan of responding to student complaints. Well, I guess nobody is but what I'm saying is that -
The whole affair took a little bit under two hours, from the moment Lily stepped into the Heads' compartment to the moment she stepped out to search for her friends on the train. She didn't need to look long, they were a couple of carriages away, already well underway to eating what looked like half of the Honeydukes Express cart. Saying goodbye to Potter, she entered the cabin with a bang.
- Greetings and salutations, you bundle of heathens!
- Lily!
There was an immediate frenzy of screams and limbs. Lily was pulled inside the compartment and had her body crushed by what it felt far more bodies than girls that currently surrounded her.
- You took your sweet time. Why in Merlin's tits did the meeting take so long? What do you even have to talk about when the year hasn't even started?
- Well, exactly the point, McKinnon, we have to discuss the year that's about to start. But what are you even saying? Like you missed my company when you're buried in cauldron cakes!
- I did miss you – screeched Marlene, hugging Lily again as to prove the point. - I haven't seen you in two months, that's unacceptable!
Lily hugged her back but quickly changed subjects. It wasn't a topic she liked to linger on, the obvious distance between them that was evidenced during summers. Since their first year, it was very clear that their group was split in two – Cassandra and her on one side, Marlene and Elizabeth on the other. They always did things together and spent most of their time with the four of them, but when it came to the most intimate moments, Lily turned to Cassie and Marlene to Lizzie. It was how it was, how it had always been. Lily didn't mind. Yet sometimes she couldn't help but wonder if this wasn't a blood status matter. She didn't believe it to be purposefully done, but just like Marlene and Elizabeth got along better with Potter and Black, all Purebloods, and Lily and Cassandra with Remus and Pettigrew, Half-bloods, Lily sometimes considered how good of a metaphor this was to their society as a whole. People stick with what they know. And it was quite the explanation to their current state of monumental social fracture.
- I know, I missed you too. Both of you. But now I want to hear all about your fancy family gatherings and social events. Spare me no details. - Lily moved to the seat in front of Elizabeth, helping herself to a liquorice wand, and got ready to be bewildered with the tales of Pureblood buffoonery.
Marlene and Elizabeth had a hell of a summer. Making the most of the last months before starting their final school year, and the last summer as students rather than full responsible adults, the girls spent their weeks between ostentatious parties and traveling around Europe with Marlene's brothers and the Marauders. Elizabeth and Black were, apparently, back to their customary trysts. Lily and Cassandra probed a bit but, to their chagrin, couldn't extract any information from Elizabeth regarding her row with Black at the end of last term. She announced that everything was fine between them now and that was the end of it. Marlene quickly chimed in to tell about her own trysts, which weren't few. Lily wasn't surprised - Marlene thrived on temporary flings.
When their long storytelling time was done, it was Lily's turn.
- James fucking Potter? You're taking the piss.
- Ha, that would be, no doubt, a very entertaining thing to do. But, no, Cassie, I'm not. It's him, I swear to God and Merlin.
Cassandra looked like somebody had hit her in the head with a bludger, but Marlene and Elizabeth only laughed at the exchange. Which told Lily they already knew he was Head Boy. Without a shock, Lily had realized that the girls were getting increasingly closer to the Marauders as time progressed. In their first years at Hogwarts, they barely acknowledged each other, but recently they spent a considerable amount of time together. Lily imagined it had a lot to do with Lizzie and Black's strange relationship. But maybe it was just the Pureblood thing, after all.
- I think it makes sense – said Elizabeth, always the peace-maker. - He has the reputation and the marks. And he's been much more mature lately, so I'm sure he'll make a great Head Boy!
- Thank you for your closing arguments, counsellor – mocked Cassandra, as she was getting up. The train had started to slow down so they busied themselves with their suitcases.
- Bugger off – retorted Elizabeth, but without any bite. They hurried to disembark, determined to secure a good spot on the Gryffindor table for the Welcoming Feast. Most students had already stepped off the train, the first-years being led by Rubeus Hagrid to the boats ashore the Black Lake. Making a mental note to remember to pay attention to all sorted students, and not only the ones sent to Gryffindor, Lily followed her friends along the path to the carriages that would take them to the castle.
- Evening, ladies. - Black's voice reached Lily as she briefly bent to fix the heel of her left boot, caught between a couple of thick twigs on the ground.
He spoke to Marlene, Lizzie and Cassie, a dazzling smile on his face, but when he caught sight of Lily joining her friends a couple feet further, his eyes widened for a second before narrowing, his smile becoming a smirk.
- Blimey, Evans, what happened to you?
Lily stared at him, confused.
- What?
- You look bloody fit. I had no idea you had curves on your body.
Lily blushed horribly.
- Sirius! - Potter and Remus called at once, looking exasperatedly at their friend, who paid them no mind. Black just shrugged casually.
- It's a compliment. Though I'm not sure if I'm very chuffed about it. You're already a blooming pain in the arse with all you have going on for you, I imagine being fit will only make it worse.
Lily felt her entire body burn with embarrassment and anger. He always did that. Put her in a spot like it was nothing, with rude remarks he liked to pass as 'witty comments'. There was nothing witty about making someone uncomfortable. That was exactly why she was always so edgy around him. He made her be on her toes day-and-night, constantly prepared to fend off snide cracks.
She had no clever answer this time. Her embarrassment didn't allow her that much, so she just marched away, growling -
- Go to hell, dickhead.
She got up quickly in her carriage, followed close by the girls. She saw from the corner of her eyes Elizabeth opening her mouth to say something but Marlene hastily grabbed her leg in warning. They travelled in silence, Lily still fuming.
Fortunately for Lily, she wasn't the type of person to hold on to negative emotions. She could definitely hold a grudge – she knew she wasn't going to look at Black's direction for days. But she didn't allow bad feelings to take control of her for too long. Which is why her mood was vastly improved by the time they reached the Great Hall, with all its beauty and resplendence atmosphere tickling her heart. Her friends deliberately moving to the far end of the Gryffindor table, miles away from the spot the Marauders always sat, also helped in restoring her temper. The girls might be getting closer to the boys but they were still hers to call dear friends.
- Sorry about Sirius, honey. He's an arsehole – whispered Elizabeth in Lily's ear when the ceremony started, a soft hand squeezing hers. Lily smiled at her, winking.
- Thanks, love. It's alright. 'Cause, you know, all the bad taste you have in men you more than compensate with your taste in friends.
Elizabeth laughed and Lily's mood was back to where it was when she first saw her best mates again after two whole months.
The last year of school began high-geared from day one. The seventh-year Gryffindors woke up that Thursday to find the schedule of their N.E.W.T's preparation classes adorning the large information board at the entrance of the Common Room. In addition to their regular lessons, they were to have one extra training per month, lasting an entire afternoon, of each of their chosen N.E.W.T level subjects. The first preparatory class was supposed to start in October. Lily groaned when she saw the Arithmancy's prep scheduled for Saturdays afternoon.
Alongside the schedule on the board, there were announcements concerning Quidditch trials, Hogsmeade's notices, and the calendar for the job recruitment fair next term. Lily felt a tingle of excitement related to the certainty of having already decided about her future career. The same couldn't be said for all her fellow seventh-years – Elizabeth exchanged antsy looks with Marlene and Pettigrew, while Cassandra just stared at the timetable with furrowed brows.
- Wondering if you should give it a shot and go to try-outs this year, love? - joked Lily, trying to ease her friend's expression.
Cassandra chuckled and the girls moved on with their day.
Their first class was Potions. Lily arrived early, as she was used to do, to chat friendly with Professor Slughorn. He gave her a bright smile when she entered his classroom for the first time of the year. Asking about her summer and plans for the term, he reminded her that the first Slug Club reunion would take place at the end of the month. Lily cheerfully confirmed her presence while her insides twisted remembering the last one of those dinners and the absolute distressing loop in which it had thrown her.
Despite her somewhat acceptance of the discoveries surrounding the Marauders, which she constantly tried to remind herself was mere speculation, she felt stiff around the boys. She was actively ignoring Black this morning, which surprised nobody, but when she walked past Potter and Remus, both of which have greeted her amiably, she couldn't help ignoring them a bit too. It wasn't on purpose, she was just still trying to figure out how to act around them. Even with Remus. Despite their casual chat the day before on the train, Lily graceless replied to his good morning today, not slowing down on her way to the other side of the breakfast table.
She tried to reel all in and go back to normal. During Defence Against the Dark Arts, she gave her best shot at a hearty laugh when Remus whispered a quip regarding their new teacher, Professor Atkinson. He seemed to have noticed her odd behaviour, paying close attention to her demeanour during the class. She hoped she'd quelled his worries, especially after she offered her shiniest smile when Potter complimented her shield spell halfway through their lesson. Not only to pretend she didn't know what she thought she knew about them, but also because she was determined to force a good relationship with the Head Boy.
Their first official Heads' meeting saw them working smoothly side by side. Potter was punctual as he'd never been in his life, giving her a lopsided grin when she pointed to the fact. He'd brought the notes they had scribbled together after their meeting on the Prefects' carriage, which contained their division of tasks. Lily would be in charge of the patrol schedules of the Slytherins and Ravenclaws, the arrangement of their first Hogsmeade's visit, the handling of detention slips for the first two weeks of the month and of the required report of their Head activities, to be handed to Professor McGonagall after every quarter. Potter, in turn, were responsible for the patrol schedules of the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs, the organization of the second Hogsmeade's visit, the handling of the detention slips the last two weeks of the month, and the designation of the monthly new passwords, for both their Heads' office and the Prefects' bathroom. He looked a tad too excited to be in charge of the last one, which Lily didn't take as a good omen.
The prefects were less agreeable this time around. Selwyn and Gaunt complained at length about the first-floor girls' toilet and its distorted mirrors, loftily demanding their timely repair. The Ravenclaw captain Bell interrupted Potter's sentences every ten minutes to throw poorly veiled hints at their Quidditch programmes, unsuccessfully trying to pull any clues from the Head Boy as to his planned trials and trainings. Rosier and Snape sniggered the whole time.
To Lily's surprise, Potter bore everything with a neutral smile on his face, composed posture and calm tone of voice. Lily felt much less in control, having to put in extra effort to suppress eye-rolls and exasperated sighs. She felt relief inundating her body when the summary of their first days in the castle and their instructions for the next schedules were completed, and the prefects hurriedly departed, seeming to be in a as grumpy state as Lily.
She allowed herself a second to recover from the stress of her first Heads' meeting. Standing in front of twenty-three students, fending off complaints, answering stupid questions with a fake smile, without neither losing an authoritative stance nor coming across authoritarian, was much harder than Lily had predicted. She briefly considered her naiveté in thinking that she would take it all in stride just because she'd done alright as a prefect. Maybe Potter wasn't the only arrogant berk of them two.
She saw Ravenclaw Thomas Shaw approaching her from the corner of her eyes, and automatically prepared to ward off further disapproval.
- Hi, Lily. Great job today! - he said and Lily felt her entire being relax. She directed him a warm grin, grateful for his words.
- Thanks, Thomas. It was a challenge, I can't lie.
- Nah, you were born for this – he uttered, mirroring Potter's previous comment on the train. - You did brilliant as usual.
- Cheers. - With another smile, she turned to gather her things, ready to give the night the end it deserved. Or, better saying, that she deserved. She couldn't wait to be back to her dorm. She still had some leftovers of the cauldron cakes Marlene had bought aboard the Hogwarts Express, and she felt her body buzz with anticipation for the steamy hot bath she was planning to draw for herself. After the hour-long draining meeting, she knew the only thing to unwind her was exactly -
- So, how was your summer?
Lily snapped her head up, reminded that Shaw was still very much in front of her. As a matter of fact, his face glowed with expectancy, as if the answer to the most basic September question was extremely fascinating.
- Eh, it was fine. Didn't do much, though. You?
- Oh, I had a blast! Mum and dad took me to Greece to visit the Parthenon, among other things. Did you know that it was the cradle of modern civilization? - Not waiting for her reply, he continued – Of course, not only for Muggles. The Wizarding world was also involved, naturally, as with everything else. I'd know that, dad works for the Department of International Magical Cooperation of the Ministry of Magic, as you must know. Not only works there, he has a pretty high position, actually. Anyway, he works closely with the Greek Ministry so he tells me all about the history of their magical development -
God, what a bore. Cassandra was right.
- Eh, that's cool - Lily tried, forcing herself to stay in the conversation even though it didn't look like Shaw was putting the same energy for her to participate. - My friend, Cassandra, also went to Greece during summer - she added lamely, not knowing what else to say.
- Did she now? Do you know what did she do there? Because most people only go to Greece for their beaches, not even realizing the absolute opportunity they are missing to explore the birthplace -
- Evans, Shaw. I'm heading to the dorm now, goodnight.
Lily looked at Potter, marching to the door, and widened her eyes to signal him to stay. Why was he leaving already? They were supposed to take the same way back to the dorms, it made sense he waited for her. She opened her mouth to say exactly that but Shaw was faster.
- Night, Potter. So, Lily, I see you have a tan. It looks great on you. Which beach did you go to? Hopefully not a Greek one, otherwise I'd have to lecture you about what a proper vacation in the country should look like – Shaw tried to jest, coming off extremely pedant. Lily couldn't imagine spending another minute in his utterly boring presence but Potter was already gone, without a look back.
Fucking wanker.
Potter used to never miss a chance to surround her, always imposing his company. For a while, she had thought he fancied her but the idea was shattered to pieces when he asked her out that day on the lake, making a big show of it. She knew then it was just another one of his shenanigans. She didn't doubt he would've gone out with her if she'd said yes, just like he'd go out with any other bird who even glanced his way. Nevertheless, after the spectacular train wreck that the June of 1976 was for all of them, Potter was suddenly never around anymore. Not even for pranks. Not that she particularly missed it. But, right now, listening to Shaw's blabbering, she wished Potter was still an all-consuming flirter. It would've guaranteed her steamy hot bath by now.
Instead, she spent the next hour pretending to be oblivious to Shaw's not so subtle come-ons. She tried to implicitly show her disinterest but he apparently couldn't take a hint. She ended up allowing him to walk her back to the Gryffindor Tower, jabbering the whole time about his prominent parents, real-estate properties around the world and job prospects. By the time Lily successfully untangled herself and reached her dormitory, it was past eleven o'clock and all she wanted was her bed.
The next day she forgot all about her resolve to be nicer to Potter for the sake of their Heads' relationship. She found herself rather upset about the night before. She couldn't understand why he had acted so cold, taking off without sparing a moment to review their first official meeting together as she intended to do before Shaw kidnapped her. Besides the fact that he fed her to the wolves, leaving her all alone to deflect the Ravenclaw nuisance. When Elizabeth decided to sit next to Black for lunch, after an entire morning in which the interactions between the Gryffindors were thankfully minimum, the girls sitting on the forefront of every class and the Marauders on the far back, Lily pulled Cassandra along to join her a couple of seats down. She wanted distance from all of them.
- Lily, what's going on with your lips? It's like they've been glued together with a spike - chirped Marlene from four seats over, voice insufferably loud. Half of the table turned their heads to Lily. Lily forced herself to stop pouting. She hadn't even realized she was.
- Nothing, Marls. Pass me the potatoes?
- Alright, Evans?
Potter was looking at her intently, brows slightly furrowed, as if aware there was something wrong with her and that he was somehow involved in it. She felt her annoyance falter. She opened her mouth to reply, but was cut short by the last person she wanted to hear talking.
- Evans' scowl shouldn't be something worth of note to anyone anymore, McKinnon. By now it's a permanent fixture in her expression, isn't it – Black drawled, his pretty face causing ugly feelings inside of Lily.
- Shut it, Sirius – barked Elizabeth.
- What? Oh, come on. I can't say anything to Evans anymore? If I compliment her, I'm rude, if I mention her difficult temper, I'm an arse. I mean, when did this all become a censorship? - he kept going, despite Elizabeth's protests. - You girls say whatever shit goes through your mind, take all the piss you want whenever it suits you, but I'm supposed to sit quietly and prettily when -
This time it was Black's words that were cut short when Elizabeth poured her entire pumpkin juice on his head. The Marauder yelped and jumped five feet on the air, swinging his long black hair in all directions and consequently spiking everyone around him with the juice. Pettigrew and Remus squealed in synchrony, covered in pumpkin liquid, while Marlene hooted with laughter. In the chaos, Lily almost missed the hand on her elbow.
- Hey, is everything alright? Do you want to talk?
Lily sighed but followed Potter to the entrance of the hall, away from prying ears.
- Are you mad at me? - he immediately asked, face unusually serious.
- Nah,– Lily was saying before thinking – not really. It's alright.
- Oh, come on, Evans. Just tell me what's up. Is it something to do with the Heads' meeting?
Lily eyed him suspiciously.
- What d'you mean?
- That the prefects were acting like fucking wankers the entire time. I almost lost the plot when Bell interrupted me for the thirteenth time, the twat.
- Really? You looked completely in control.
- I'm a good actor, Evans. - He smirked, winking conspiratorially at her.
- Well, I'm not. The wanker of the story here is you, Potter.
He startled, looking at her with alarm.
- What? What did I do?
- You fucking ditched me. And left me alone with Shaw, who happens to impressively manage the feat of being both the most condescending man to ever walk on Earth and the most oblivious git to be accepted in this school. Or maybe he's just a good actor like you are, because he sure pretended to not know how to take one bloody hint that I wasn't interested. And there were plenty!
A hand shooting to the back of his hair, guilty expression, Potter faced the floor in front of them, avoiding Lily's eyes.
- Shit. I'm so sorry, Evans, I didn't realise. - He made a face, still looking down. - I swear I didn't do it on purpose.
Lily felt her annoyance falter again. Potter never looked disconcerted. His habit of grabbing the hair on the back of his neck, instead of coming out as an attempt to look cool, now just gave off a remorseful air. And she couldn't remember the last time he didn't hold her gaze. He was the type of bloke who was always the last one to break eye contact, making you feel strangely abashed.
- It's alright – she said again, suddenly feeling a bit silly for being upset about such a trivial thing. - I don't think you did it on purpose.
- Yeah, still, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bolted like that.
- No, you shouldn't have - Lily chuckled. - You would've saved me a good hour of my life that I'll never get back. All I wanted was a nice hot bath and to stuff my face with chocolate, and you stole that from me, Potter.
He chuckled back, eyes locked on hers again.
- Now, that's just unacceptable, Evans. How can I ever make it up to you?
- Just swear to all the gods you will never leave me alone with that drag again.
- Deal – Potter said, smirk back on, stretching his hand to her. She took it and he shook it gravely. - I pledge my fealty to you, that I will never leave your sight again after Heads' meeting for as long as I shall live. Or until we have to get back to the dorms. One of the two.
Lily laughed out loud.
- Yeah, yeah, whatever, you nitwit. Come, let's go, I'm starving.
They walked back to the Gryffindor table, where their friends were dry again and Black was finally silent. Lily liked him that way. That's probably why she felt so cheerful for the rest of lunchtime.
The first Slug Club dinner took place during the first full moon of the school year. Lily was initially irked by that, but she quickly realised it was a handy coincidence. She had made up her mind to intercept the Marauders when they were returning from their monthly night escapades with Remus. The idea came to her from the most unlikely of places.
From Sirius Black.
Lily had the impression his vexatious behaviour towards her was even more accentuated this year. She wondered if there was something to do with her biting comment when they were boarding the Hogwarts Express the previous term. It was their last exchange of the year and maybe, Lily mused, Black was upset that she referred to his row with Elizabeth in such a flippant way. Or maybe he didn't enjoy being laughed at as Lily had done.
Either way, after his second barbed dig of the week had inspired immediate retaliation, he stopped interacting with Lily all-together. He didn't spare her a glance for days. He wouldn't participate in any conversations she was in, not even when their entire group was assembled. Something Lily realized, one day, was becoming rather standard. At some point, Lily didn't know exactly when, the Gryffindor girls and boys began to sit together for meals, wait for each other after classes to discuss the content they'd just learned or inquire about their next one, and even gather together on the Common Room after a long day of school.
That realization came to Lily in one of those occasions. She was lounging on the crimson-colour sofa in front of the fireplace with the day's edition of the Daily Prophet in hands, Cassandra's feet crossing her lap. Marlene and Potter chatted about Quidditch on the rug in front of them, while Remus watched entertained as Lizzie whooped Pettigrew's arse in Wizard's chess. Lily had just finished reading a particularly troubling piece of news of a law project from Wizengamot, huffing as she averted her gaze from the exasperating parchment, and started when she took the scene before her eyes.
They never hung out like that. Sometimes Lizzie would perch in one of Black's seats, while the girls sat across the room, or Remus would come and join them to get some homework done. But they never gathered together like this, all four Gryffindor girls and the Marauders. Well, almost all of the Marauders. Lily noticed Black wasn't around. Again. She caught herself once more musing about his odd attitude this year, but she didn't need to muse for long. Cassandra finally admitted she was too tired to pretend to listen to Lily's constant complaints about the ways of the world and left her to go get reunited with her bed. Lily still had her neck craned to where Cassandra had disappeared up the stairs not two seconds before when the vacant place next to her received a fresh new weighting body.
- Interesting read?
Lily turned her head to look at Black. He was staring at the fireplace in front of them, a detached expression on his face. She'd noticed how his casual stance was so different from Potter's. While Potter exhumed a natural, friendly nonchalance, Black always came across as indifferent. In what Potter had of affability and cordiality, even if too carefree at times, Black's disengagement gave off airs of boredom, as if no one around him was worthy of his time.
- Interesting, yes. Good, no.
- Ah, yes. The world is still turning as it always has.
Lily frowned but didn't reply. She had no patience for mysterious statements and mysterious men. She looked back to the paper in her hands, ready to ignore the Marauder according to the protocol.
- You know, you never did lose all your tan.
Lily's frown was back in place.
- You still have some colour on you, even after three weeks. You should share your secret with the rest of us.
He was still staring at the creaking fire but his expression was smoother now, less of a curtain wall. Lily had no idea what was going on.
- And your frown is quite agreeable. Defeats the whole purpose of it, if you ask me, but you do you, I guess.
Lily smiled when the penny dropped. This was his way of telling her he was mildly sorry for his rude remarks. Instead of coming up straight and apologizing, he was revisiting what he'd said to her but spinning it to a better light. To make them compliments instead of insults.
What a weird bloke.
- I suppose I missed the unpleasantness tutorial classes.
- No matter. I've been to all of them, I can teach you.
- That you have – chuckled Lily. She saw Potter discreetly paying attention to their conversation from his spot on the floor. He kept exchanging Quidditch results and statistics with Marlene, but Lily could tell his interest in her chat with Black.
Once again, Lily wondered about their dynamic. This year, Lily could see more than ever the difference in their personalities. Potter and Remus always seemed a bit put off by Black's antics, while Pettigrew barely reacted to them. But once, when she caught Black taunting Potter over his badge, she unmistakably detected a dab of pride in his mockery. She'd think Black would be personally offended that his best mate, his partner in crime, had become the student authority to curtail mischief. And he very well pretended he was, loudly complaining about his misfortunes this year without Potter on his side.
But Lily took it for what it always was with the Marauders. Publicly one thing, privately something rather different. In the open, always down for business, ready to carry out their shenanigans while paying no mind to the consequences. Personally, carefully planning every step of the way, protecting their secrets at all costs. To the rest of the world, Black was completely dismayed that his best friend was named Head Boy. Between only the two of them, Black relished on Potter's accomplishment.
Now, Potter was clearly assessing Black's behaviour towards Lily. As if to monitor his words and not let him upset her anymore. Lily contemplated the very real possibility that Potter (and likely, also Remus) scolded Black for what he'd said to Lily. The mental image of the Marauders gathered in their dorm, Remus and Potter making Black sit on his bed while they stood in front of him, reprimanding him for his misbehaviour, was enough to make Lily cackle.
Fortunately for Lily, at the exact moment she felt the uncontrollable urge to laugh, Elizabeth finished Pettigrew off, handing his arse to him on a plate after only eighteen moves. Remus and Elizabeth's loud celebration muffled Lily's out-of-place humour.
- That was embarrassing, Wormtail! I'd call it a night if I were you.
Wormtail.
Lily's laugh halted when she suddenly recalled their secretive pet names. Well, not so secretive since they called each other that in public. But no one knew what they meant and they always circumvented any asks to explain the origin of each nickname.
- Sod off, Moony, like you could do any better.
Moony.
That was Remus'. It obviously related to the full moon and his lycanthropy. Wormtail must relate, then, to his Animagus form, a rat. Lily looked at Black next to her, observing amused the exchange in front of him. Then to Potter. He was still looking at her, as he often did. He tilted his head, curiously eyeing her, but Marlene called him, making him turn his attention to her.
Lily kept looking at him. What did they call him, again? Prongs? And Black – she twirled her face to him. Padfoot.
With the same epiphany that hit her while she was watching Doctor Who with her parents, Lily realized that their nicknames referred to their animal transformations. Remus was a werewolf, which explained Moony. Pettigrew was Wormtail, because a rat had a tail, that could be a bit wormy too, she guessed. Prongs would relate to any animal that had horns, maybe antelopes? And Padfoot, that probably referred to folk animals, sheep or donkeys. Or large dogs. For obvious reasons, Lily couldn't imagine Sirius Black choosing to transform into a sheep.
She stared at him, holding a chuckle, humour back in full force. No, aristocratic, haughty Sirius Black would never. She would bet half of her not-so-large possessions that Black was a large dog as an Animagus. And Potter some kind of buck or deer.
- What?
Black had caught her staring. She cleared her throat, suppressing her mirth.
- Nothing. Just think you lads are quite something.
- Oh, you have no idea, Evans. You don't know half of it.
For the first time in probably her entire lifetime, Lily whole-heartedly agreed with Sirius Black. She didn't know half of it, but she knew something. And she wanted to know more. Watching him wink at her before leaving the sofa to join Potter and Marlene on the floor, Lily decided she needed to gather more information. She had built a fantastical story in her head, that explained almost everything she always wondered about the Marauders, but it was, at the end, only that – a story in her head. The only concrete thing she had was Pettigrew's transformation into a rat. Which could be explained by a range of reasons. She didn't even have any proofs Remus was an actual werewolf. So far, it was all speculation.
She was ready to turn it into facts. And she couldn't think of a better way than to catch Potter, Black and Pettigrew red-handed as they returned from their full moon activities.
She had made up her mind. She was going to wait for them on the first full moon of the year, which was the following week, and squeeze any and every information out of them. They wouldn't know what hit them. They had no chance against her.
Of course she was sorely mistaken.
After spending the dreariest evening with the most pompous students in the castle, Lily excused herself to professor Slughorn and insistent flirt George Akins and left their dinner half an hour past the curfew. She meant to stay longer – if she was supposed to be awake until late at night to catch the Marauders, she needed to figure out a way to keep alert. Lily was not one to prioritize anything over her sleep pattern. She had to be creative now if she wanted to survive her primal instincts of going to sleep as soon as the clock struck ten o'clock. That's why she was pleased to have the Slug Club meeting falling on a full moon night, it would give her a reason to stay up until late.
But she couldn't take one more minute of sitting in the round table of Professor Slughorn's office, listening to Pureblood shite. Periodically, she'd aske herself why in the hell did she even attend those events. She didn't remember ever enjoying the type of conversation she had to endure there and the company she had to keep. She'd joined because Professor Slughorn had personally asked her, all those years ago, and always made a big deal out of having her. And she knew deep down that this was still the case. She knew he would be disappointed if she stopped showing. So she powered through it.
Just not that night.
Instead, she took the long way back to the Gryffindor Tower, crossing lazily the corridors of the sixth floor before running into Nuur and Bell patrolling. She took her time to chat friendly with them – Bell could be quite agreeable when he wasn't in a Quidditch-obsessive mode. She returned to the Tower in the slowest pace she could manage, leisurely entering the empty Common Room and settling in a loveseat. She read a fiction book, she finished her Charms essay, she practiced some dance moves in front of the slightly crooked mirror of the entryway.
It was still two a.m. and she was going crazy. She needed her sleep. She needed her bed. How in Merlin's name could anybody bear staying up all night like that? What kind of messed up bodily functions one must have in order to -
A loud shattering noise coming from outside the Common Room took Lily's mind from her sleep-deprived despair. She hurried to get through the entrance portrait and follow the sound. Two corridors down, she found Peeves in the middle of a full-blasted war zone, throwing pieces of cutlery back and forth between two fifth-year Gryffindors – Marcus Teeley and a blonde boy Lily couldn't presently remember the name.
It took every ounce of Lily's patience and authority to convince Peeves to abort his mission of chopping off every limb of the boys in front of him, and leave them to be. After what it felt like hours, Lily finished vanishing every last utensil and dragged the two trouble-makers back to their Tower.
- And, to make it all worse, in the middle of the night! Don't you lads value your sleep? Do you know what you're doing to your bodies when you treat them like this? – Lily was saying, a little bit louder than what was sensible, as they entered back to the Common Room through the portrait. - You're lucky I only took twenty points from each of you, otherwise I'd -
She broke her inflamed speech when she came face to face with James Potter in the middle of the room. An alone James Potter.
- Evans? What the hell is going on?
Ah, great. Fucking brilliant.
- I caught these two free spirits engaging in a cutlery war with Peeves outside the Tower. - Lily took Potter's dishevelled appearance in, before she continued, turning back to the younger boys. – Off you go. Straight to your dorms and do not forget you have detention for the whole week.
The fifth-years moved along, going up the staircase to their dormitory. Lily turned around to see Potter looking at her with an odd expression in his face.
- How did you even catch them? You should be long asleep by now.
- Trust me, I know. - Lily was quickly feeling riled up. Every part of her body was screaming for rest, her eyelids barely holding up anymore. She'd done all she could to stay awake to catch the bloody Marauders with their hand in the jar, and yet they were gone by now. Her window of opportunity had closed. She supposed she could still try to pester Potter to admit something, but she knew it wouldn't be effective. And the last thing she wanted was to alert him to her suspicions.
Potter turned his confused face to look around the Common Room, making notice of the books Lily left on top of the coffee table, and the thin blanket Lily was using to cover her cold feet.
- Were you staying up here?
- Eh, yeah. Uh, just wanted to finish a couple things, so yeah, well... - Shit, this is going poorly. Lily needed to cut her losses now and end this night already.
Potter seemed to agree. With a nervous hand grabbing the hair at the nape of his neck, he took a step away from Lily, saying -
- Yeah, well, better go on then. It's a school night, we both should be in our beds already.
- Yeah, right. Okay, goodnight.
When Lily finally laid on her bed, as she was longing to do for the past six hours, she still stayed a couple of minutes awake, trying to make sense of the catastrophe of a night. She couldn't. The only thing she knew was that she would have to try again in the next full moon.