Chapter 3: Hey, that's my man
Lily swore out loud.
She'd forgotten her book The Agrippan Method in the seventh-floor classroom. She had just reached the fifth-floor corridor, on her way to the Heads' office, where she planned to stay until it was dinnertime. They had a free period now, which she would use to start the Arithmancy essay they'd been recently assigned, hoping she would be able to finish it later that night, after their weekly meeting, if she could only make it safe and sound to her dorm without another Ravenclaw nuisance. She was going through her school bag, trying to fish the parchment Potter had given her during lunch with the new password of their office, when she noticed the absence of the one book she needed to start her assignment.
Cursing her fickle brain, she turned around to come back from where she came. School had started exactly a month ago and Lily was already feeling overwhelmed. Despite having one less N.E.W.T level course in her curriculum, Lily still found herself running around to get it all done. She'd never been assigned so much homework in her life, which only paired with her Head duties to make her spend every second of her time away from classes still busy with school work. She barely had time to catch up with the extra preparation for her (hopeful) future Auror training - her September edition of Auror Academy laying untouched on her night cabinet. The day before, the first Sunday of October, was scheduled to see the girls' first afternoon picnic of the year, a tradition they had started in their second year after spending the whole summer apart. Lily completely forgot about it, needing to be dragged by the robes to the lake by an exasperated Marlene. Sitting comfortable on Lizzie's enchanted picnic towel, enjoying the warm breeze, Lily again forgot what she was supposed to do, needing to be dragged, now back inside the castle, by the Head Boy for their Sunday patrol. No wonder how she managed to forget her book on top of the desk she'd just left. She was surprised she didn't forget her head there too.
Making her way back to the Arithmancy classroom, she took a detour on the last minute, remembering a shortcut that would lead her straight to the East Wing and closer to the staircase to the seventh floor. She turned left instead of right this time, approaching the corridor of the Muggle Studies showroom, and then promptly halted in place.
In front of the showroom stood Mulciber and Severus, casually leaning against the wall, wands spinning through their slimy fingers. Lily discreetly fetched her own wand from her robes and resumed her footsteps, coming closer to them and bringing her presence to their notice.
- Oh, look who's here. Greetings, Head Girl. How are you today? - drawled Mulciber, voice all the way pleasant, smile sickeningly sweet.
Lily felt the customary nausea she felt whenever she interacted with him. The Slytherin was the leader of their little Death-Eaters wannabe gang and there was a reason for it. While the rest of their lot was always floundering around, openly insulting every Muggleborn student, focusing on first and second-years, and overall just bringing too much attention to them, Mulciber was as discreet as he was dangerous. He barely landed detentions because he was never caught doing anything wrong, despite the fact that everybody knew he weaved through the castle causing wreaked havoc. Lily would, at times, unamusedly note the similarities between Mulciber and the Marauders.
- I'm good, thank you. May I ask what the two of you are doing here?
Mulciber shrugged, looking down to his spinning wand. Next to him, Severus stared at Lily with sharp eyes.
- Nothing much. Just killing some time before dinner.
Lily didn't believe it for a second. She knew they had a free period too but, if she wasn't mistaken, they had just come from the greenhouses. It made no sense that they would go all the way up to the fifth floor instead of the dungeons, which was much closer to the entrance of the castle from where they came. Besides, there was nothing of interest in that particular corridor, at least not enough to give the seventh-year Slytherins a pastime until dinner.
Except the Muggle Studies showroom.
They were obviously planning something and Lily prepared herself to ruin their plans. She knew Severus wouldn't do anything to her, even though that didn't necessarily mean he would stop anyone who did. But Lily knew he wasn't an immediate threat, and she could take Mulciber alone any second of any day. The danger Mulciber posed relied heavily on his ability to prey on unsuspecting victims, normally with a numeric advantage. This was not one of those cases.
Lily stepped forward, letting her right arm fall next to her side, wand purposefully visible.
- Right. Sorry to ruin your fun, then, but I must insist that you find some other place to pass your time – she said, in the same pleasant voice as Mulciber. She spun her wand, just like he'd done, in warning.
His gaze fell on her wand and his calm façade waned. Severus straightened his body, letting go of the wall, but he must have buried his wand back in his robe, because it was nowhere to be seen now. Lily stopped walking when she got to a close but still safe distance from the Slytherins and made use of her best Head Girl glower. She knew they knew she was too good for them.
She could see Mulciber's determination falter, Severus already prepared to turn and leave. But just then the sound of footsteps reached them, and around the corner from behind the two boys, Avery and Flint appeared, joining them with similar threatening faces.
Fuck.
She could take Mulciber alone, maybe even him and Avery. But three Slytherins? And a useless Severus, who, despite her certainty of never hurting her, could very well disarm her if needed. She felt her body stiffen and she took an unconscious step back. Mulciber's smile turned into a malicious grimace.
- Nah, I think we will stay right here. Right, lads? - He waited for the other two align to his side, the four of them staring down at Lily in a closed wall of evil intentions.
Lily needed to act quickly. She was never going to just walk way, if not for anything, because she didn't trust them to not attack her when she had her back to them. But she wouldn't succeed in a direct attack against four Slytherins. She needed to be smart. And she needed to be fast.
A silent disarming spell was halfway through her mind when another voice reached them, this time coming from behind Lily.
- Good afternoon, everyone.
Lily's entire body relaxed at the sound. Just like that, her apprehension was gone. She didn't need to worry anymore.
- Good afternoon indeed – she replied, without turning around, a new smile in place. The same couldn't be said of the Slytherins in front of her, faces now marred in concern. They knew the tide had just turned.
Lily waited for Potter to reach her side, glancing sideways at her.
- Alright, Evans?
She grinned at him, thinking "expelliarmus" at the same time she furtively waved her wand. Mulciber's wand flew immediately out of his hand. Lily saw Potter's smile take his entire face before he swiftly turned back to the Slytherins, making Avery's wand be the next to fly from reach.
Lily stepped forward, body lowered to deviate a silent spell sent by the only Slytherin still braving his wand, and supported her weight against the wall, while Potter did the same on the other side of the corridor. He must have seen Mulciber trying to retrieve his wand because he pointed his at him and, in the next second, the Death-Eater in training fell hard on the ground.
Another spell almost hit Lily again, ricocheting on the wall behind her, making her come to her knees. She hurried to stupefy Flint, who joined Mulciber on the floor. Potter must have felt that the numbers weren't adding up as he wished, because he stupefied wandless Avery next, whom was clearly not posing any danger anymore. Potter's cheerful laugh told Lily he was very satisfied with this decision.
Severus was still standing, wand now in hand, but body completely stilled.
- You can go now, Snape. Make sure to take the garbage with you – Potter said as he stretched his hand to help Lily on her feet. She stood up, looking at Severus, daring him to say or do anything other than what Potter had just told him to.
He didn't. With a twist of his wand, he made the bodies of his housemates float around him, and left the corridor without a look back. He obviously didn't worry about being hit on the back while he was departing. He didn't need to. Potter was never going to attack him from behind. Looking at him now, Lily made a mental correction – the Marauders were nothing like the Slytherin.
- Alright, Evans?
- Yeah, alright. You?
- More so now. I gotta say, when I walked in, I was worried you'd want to take a diplomatic exit. I can't tell you how pleased I am you decided to go full belligerent.
Lily laughed with gusto.
- To be honest, that thought never once crossed my mind. Before you arrived, I was halfway to nonverbally attacking them.
They started walking, automatically following the path towards their office.
- Ah, of course. You decided to take the Gryffindor way out, brave and very dumb. - He shook his head in amusement. - The Head Girl ready to take down three Slytherins alone, what a sight.
- Four Slytherins – she corrected him, for some unknown reason.
- Yeah, well, Snape was never really going to hurt you, so I was counting the other scumbags. But I guess you're right, which in no way or shape makes my argument less on point, if you think about it.
He was right, of course. Lily knew Severus wasn't a threat to her. But how did he?
Potter's relationship with Severus had been doomed from day one. The moment they met on the Hogwarts Express, September 1st of 1971, they took an immediate dislike for each other. Lily wasn't present when their first conflict took place, before she even embarked on the train, but by the time she joined Severus for their trip to Scotland, he already hated Potter. From there on, everything just went downhill. Their personalities clashed terribly, Severus hating attention, Potter relishing it. Potter surrounded by friends, popular to the last hair of his head, Severus depending on his housemates' disposition to accept him, and Lily's available time away from Gryffindor. Potter was everything Severus despised – and envied.
Potter just disliked Severus, without much ado.
It never appeared to Lily that he paid much attention to Severus, besides the necessary information he needed to bully him when they were younger. There was, though, the incident at the end of fifth year whose details Lily didn't know about but which had irrevocably changed all the parties involved. Since then, Potter stopped interacting with all the Slytherins, including Severus.
And now Potter was aware that Severus wasn't an actual danger to her. Like Lily had always insisted, never being able to fully convince Cassandra of the fact. She knew Severus was long gone, lost in his dark path of excuses and inevitabilities. He belonged right next to Mulciber, in his Death-Eater training. But Lily also knew the extent of his devotion to her. It wasn't mindful enough to acknowledge the damage that his choices brought to their bond, but it was deep enough to ensure Lily he would never wittingly bring harm to her. That Potter realized that too was mind-blowing.
But, again, he never did seem to cease surprising her. And, for the first time in Lily's recollection, the surprise was positive. She'd gotten so used to see those close to her changing for the worse, and their relationships crumbling before her eyes, that it honestly bewildered her when somebody grew better. Like Potter did. Or perhaps she'd just never paid enough attention to see this side of him, concealed under his less redeemable qualities. Just like she'd missed the other elements that shaped his character.
She didn't miss it now. Years of attachment to Severus, a sort of affection that at times crawled through her skin, and she'd never trust him to pick the right side of the divide. Potter could find it with his eyes closed.
She changed topics.
- What are you doing here, anyway? Didn't you just come from Herbology?
She knew the answer before she asked, evident by the random leaves adorning his black wild hair, and a smudge of mud on his right cheek.
- I did – he replied, turning a left at the end of the corridor. - But I forgot my Quidditch gloves in our office, and I have practice in fifteen minutes. I just needed to pop up here quickly to retrieve them.
- Ah, I see. Well, lucky me, I guess.
He flashed his more-than-thirty-two-teeth smile.
- I'm sure you'd still have managed without me. But I'm glad I could join in the fun.
Lily supposed she couldn't fault him there. Increasingly, she found herself enjoying duels and confrontation with people who needed to be confronted. Maybe it was because she could hold her own, never really getting a bad deal out of it, or maybe it was her quickly-forming Auror inclination. In any case, Lily realised she was much more similar to the Marauders in that sense than to her girlfriends. Marlene had a short temper and have stood next to Lily during a few clashes, but Cassandra and Elizabeth dreaded it. Especially against the Slytherins.
That reminded Lily of something.
- Why have you avoided it so much, then?
- Sorry?
- Duels with Slytherins. Last year you barely had any, you always seemed to be avoiding them. You and Black.
His open face became immediately inscrutable. She couldn't read him even if she tried.
- Oh. Well, I suppose we just wanted to take it easy, you know.
- Hm, right.
They reached their office now, stopping briefly so Potter could give the password.
- Flobberworm to Fritter.
Lily couldn't help the burst of laughter coming out of her. She knew she should be weary of Potter's interest in being the one to come up with their passwords. He would obviously want to botcher it up at every opportunity.
Laughing together with her, Potter entered the room in two steps, picking up his gloves that laid on the long sideboard next to the door, before turning to Lily.
- Before I forget, I got you something.
- Oh?
- Yeah, I felt really bad about the whole Shaw-shit. - He grinned widely, looking immensely pleased with himself for coming up with the name. - So I got you some chocolate to compensate for the one you missed that night.
He reached into his school bag and grabbed a Honeydukes dark chocolate bar, handing it to her.
- Ah. - Lily accepted the bar with eager hands. - That's so nice, you didn't have to do that! It wasn't your fault.
- Still, I was half responsible for the – he paused for dramatic effect – Shaw-show. I'll feel better if I can make it up to you, even if a little.
Lily chuckled, giddy with the anticipation of eating her favourite sweet while she wrote her Arithmancy assignment.
Fuck, her Arithmancy assignment!
- Well, I really appreciate it. But I just remembered that I need to pick up my book on the seventh floor. I will just leave the bar here. - She placed the chocolate on the same spot Potter's gloves were a minute ago. - I'll eat it on the way back.
They traded smiles, and closed the door on their way out, going down the corridor to their respective destinations. One last thought occurred to Lily before they said goodbye to each other.
- Wait. Where did you get the chocolate from? I'm in no way complaining, but I'm sure you can't get it anywhere in the castle. I actually thought you could only get it from the Hogsmeade's shop directly.
Potter's mischievous semblance told her all she needed to know.
- And you would be right at that.
She rolled her eyes, ready to end her interaction with him for the moment.
- You're Head Boy now, Potter. You can't keep sneaking out of the castle and breaking rules like this anymore. - He just shrugged and she took the right to the staircase that would take her to the East Wing. - See you later in the meeting, knobhead.
Only when Lily was walking the corridor leading to the Arithmancy classroom did she think of how odd that Potter knew what her favourite chocolate was.
Lily never made it back to the Heads' office in time. With The Agrippan Method secured under her armpit, she had just landed on the sixth-floor corridor when she was cornered by Professor Slughorn leaving his office.
- Lily, my dear, exactly the person I was looking for.
The question was, when was he not looking for her?
Lily's initial concern that he was going to nudge her for her premature departure at their last dinner was quashed when the professor invited her to come see him in his office the next day, after their lesson, to talk about extracurricular activities.
- I'm sorry, Professor, but I have Charms right after your class. Maybe I can come later the same day?
- Oh, that won't do. I'm afraid I'm quite taken tomorrow night. Do you mind coming in just now then? Or do you have somewhere to be, my dear?
Tucking her book inside her dark-magenta bag, Lily accepted the invitation and followed Professor Slughorn to his office.
She took the seat he offered, in front of his busy desk, filled with old stained parchments, dark inkwell and matching blue charcoal quills, a tall candle holder, and liquorice sweets spread all over. He lowered himself heavy on the long leather chair, his prominent stomach swinging with the movement. He focused a smart gaze at Lily, beaming at her.
- I have just heard, my sweet girl, that Potioneer Libatius Borage has extended his Advanced Potion-Making programme to the continent. He's reserved one spot for a Hogwarts student and I think you should be one to take it.
Lily's jaw dropped. Brazilian Libatius Borage was one of the most recognized Potions Masters of the world. Lily had spent many an hour completely lost in his highly entertaining Have Yourself a Fiesta in a Bottle! book. That he would be willing to take a Hogwarts student under his wing was incredible. That Professor Slughorn thought that student should be her was downright astonishing.
- Professor, that's amazing news. But are you sure that it should me? How's the selection even taking place?
Professor Slughorn chuckled, good-temperedly.
- My dear, you are one of the finest potions students I have ever had. Without a doubt, my mind went straight to you when I first heard the news.
Definitely not without a doubt. Lily very much doubted he hadn't gone to Severus first. Or, if not, that there wasn't a very relevant, and ponderous, reason for him not to. After all, regardless of Lily's obvious talent, Severus was better than her. But she supposed she would never be able to get the professor to admit it.
- Thank you, Professor. That's very kind of you. But may I ask how would it work, exactly?
- Of course, my dear girl. The programme, as you know, is divided into two phases. The first is to create a brand-new recipe for an original potion. Here you will be judged by your choice of ingredients, the consistence of your instructions' pattern and the overarching premise of your concoction. This phase must be completed before the last week of December. The second, which will take place next term, is the brewing phase. You'll be judged then by your brewery skills and final result.
- I see. But how exactly would I join the programme? Do I just stay here in Hogwarts to brew or is there a specific place or training which I have to attend?
- Easy, my dear Lily. Everything in its own time. Do you have parchment and ink? I'll tell you all the information you need to know.
Lily rescued her school bag from the floor, reaching for her material to write every word Professor Slughorn relayed to her. She pushed down, for the moment, the feelings that began whirling inside her. She barely had time to deal with all her responsibilities now, adding another one to the mix was close to insanity. On top of that, an uncomfortable realization prickled the back of her mind - Professor Slughorn was probably not aware of her choice to drop Herbology, which meant she could never fully become a potioneer, as he obviously envisaged for her. Ignoring these troubling thoughts, Lily told herself that she would deal with them later. Right now, this was too good of an opportunity for Lily to let it pass without consideration.
By the time the professor was done saying his piece, her free period was long over and she was starving.
She rushed down to the Great Hall for dinner, barely having time to sit down next to sixth-year Mary McDonald and devour some pork with roast potatoes, before the leftovers of the feast disappeared and the students got up to return to their houses. Lily checked the large ebony clock hanging on the Entrance Hall. The Heads' meeting was starting in less than half an hour. The wise course of action was to go directly to her office and wait there until it was time. Lily fleetly decided not to be wise.
She made her way to the Gryffindor Tower, crossing the Common Room without interruptions, going up to her dorm. Briefly wondering where the hell her roommates were, she locked the bathroom and hopped in the shower. Going as fast as she could, she cleaned herself, not wasting any time to dry her hair after she was done, putting fresh new clothes – a muggle pair of jeans and a brown jumper. Grabbing her school robes and bag, dropped on the floor in her haste to get to the bathroom, she all but ran back down. Ten minutes later, a record time for her to get from the Tower to the Heads' office, Lily burst the door open to find every single one of the twenty-three prefects sitting quietly around the mahogany desk where Potter stood, hands stuffed in his pockets.
- Ah, there she is. Alright, Evans?
Lily willed her face not to blush, though she didn't have high hopes for that. She closed the door behind her and walked until she was next to the Head Boy.
- Sorry, everyone. Had a bit of a holdup this afternoon.
- A holdup in the bath? I wonder what were you doing there that took so long – simpered Selwyn from the back row, inspiring a succession of whistles and hoots from the Slytherins, and from a couple of Ravenclaws.
- Hey, none of that - snarled Potter, angrily. - This is your Head Girl. That disrespectful shit is not acceptable.
- It's alright, Potter – Lily said. - I understand the confusion. You see, a shower is not something very common in the dungeons, that's why the Slytherins are so puzzled by someone looking clean.
This time the whole room laughed, except the green-robed students.
- Yeah, that must be it. - Potter's anger vanished as quick as it had appeared. His hazel eyes sparkled when he turned to Lily, lingering a few extra seconds on the wet waves framing her face. She saw his gaze follow a drop that made its way down Lily's collarbone before he swirled his entire body back to the prefects in front of him. - Okay, let's start the meeting. Do you have your reports at hand?
Lily had to wait a few minutes before she felt her body settling from the embarrassment of being late and made fun of for her frowzy appearance by the Slytherins. When she was her calm self again, she brought the meeting back to her, passing forward the instructions Professor McGonagall had asked her to, distributing the patrol schedules and informing the students that the date of the first Hogsmeade's visit had been decided – October 16th.
She had just told the prefects they were dismissed when her eyes descended on the sideboard at the entrance of the room and her mind caught up with what she was seeing.
- Nobody move.
If Lily's whole being wasn't too busy with the tension stemming from her realization, she'd find the scene extremely comic. Every single prefect froze at her words. Potter's hand stopped mid-air, hovering the pile of reports on top of the desk. No one dared to breathe.
Just as well.
- Who took my Honeydukes chocolate?
She turned her head to look at the wide-eyed students circling her.
- I placed a chocolate bar on this sideboard, right here, - she pointed to it - this afternoon. It's gone now. Nobody entered this room except for you. So I'm going to ask one more time. Who took my chocolate?
- Could've been Potter - Hufflepuff Walter Fawley tried, looking hesitant. - He's the only other person who always has access to the room, right?
- Yeah, except he's the one who gave it to me in the first place, isn't he? Why would he even do that - Lily replied, looking back at Potter, searching for his agreement, but his gaze was stuck in the opposite direction. She followed it and landed straight on Remus. A very guilty-looking Remus. Lily crossed her arms in front of her chest, tilting her head. - Do you have something you want to tell me, Lupin?
Remus' blush made Lily's previous embarrassment look mild.
- I'm so sorry, Lily! I thought it was James'. I saw him buying it this weekend in Hogsmeade, and then it was laying here when I arrived for the meeting, I just assumed it was his and ate it.
- Oi! And how's that alright? Just because you thought it was mine, does it make it okay for you to eat it?
- Sod off, Prongs, you're always eating my shit, of course I was going to eat your -
- That's not the point, the point is that -
- Can we leave now?
The prefects had long lost their interest in the situation and were impatiently huddling around the office during the daft exchange between the Marauders. Lily nodded at Fawley and watched relieved as they all exited the room, including Thomas Boring Shaw. She spun in her heels, facing the only two who stayed behind.
- I'm truly sorry, Lily. I promise I'll buy the same one for you in our next visit.
- It's okay, Remus – Lily chuckled. - You should've seen your face.
Potter chortled.
- I've never seen anybody looking guiltier than you did just then. Seriously, Moony, you couldn't hide a secret if your life depended on it, could you?
At this, Remus smirked at Potter. They both exchanged a humorous knowing look. Lily held back her own amusement but felt oddly chuffed at that. She had always wondered about their secrets before, feeling rather annoyed when they looked like they were clearly sharing an inside joke, making her realize how little she knew them, even after all the years together. Now, she was in on their little secrets – at least in one of them. It made her feel closer to them and that, for some reason, made her happy.
- Alright, you bundle of tossers, let's go.
Remus waited until Lily and Potter organized their things, locking the door of the office on their way out. They walked back to the Gryffindor Tower together. They had just crossed the portrait hole, stepping into the Common Room, and Lily was accosted.
- What the fucking hell happened today, Lily?
She stilled, baffled.
- What?
- I asked what happened today. Before your meeting with the prefects – repeated Cassandra, looking strangely on the brink of something. Behind her, Elizabeth had a deep frown on her face while Marlene's expression was a mix of glee and pride. Black and Pettigrew paid close attention to their interaction.
What the fuck is going on, Lily thought frantically.
- Ehm... you mean with the chocolate? - That was the first thing of which Lily could think. After all, she was still very much upset that she wasn't going to have her favourite sweet while working on her Arithmancy essay.
- Chocolate? - Cassandra seemed confused for a beat, before her face contorted in a mad mask. - Are you really telling me that you got yourself into a duel with the Slytherins because of a fucking chocolate?
Oh.
Lily had forgotten about that already. Of all the things that had happened that day, between the duel with the Slytherins and Professor Slughorn's offer, Remus eating her chocolate was the one that rattled her the most. Maybe that said something about Lily, but she would worry about that later. Right now, she had a very inflamed Cassandra of which to take care.
- You heard about that? Yikes, this castle really is a gossip den, isn't is – Lily tried alleviating the tension. One glance at Cassandra's face told her she was unsuccessful.
- What were you thinking, Lily? - she hissed.
- Well, first of all, it wasn't about chocolate. Though it wouldn't be that out of character for me if it were. I mean, that almost did happen only twenty minutes ago in a room full of people. - She felt like laughing at the recollection before she remembered she should start taking this situation seriously. Cassandra was clearly not in a joking mood. - Secondly, it was nothing, Cassie. No need to get your knickers in a twist.
Oh, boy, was that the wrong thing to say.
Cassandra's entire body expanded, eyes dangerously stoning.
- No need to get my knickers in a twist, you say? Okay, that's a good thing to keep in mind. I'll make sure to not think much of it when Mulciber comes looking for you a couple years from now with Voldemort by his side.
- What the fuck, Cassie – Elizabeth cried, in shock.
- What? You think the Slytherins will just forget about it? With the way she's always standing in their way, recklessly nagging at them for everything, it would be a big surprise if they don't have her first on their list of 'Mudbloods I'll kill when I get the chance'.
This time every seventh-year Gryffindor, and some other years who were witnessing the whole spectacle, gasped at the harsh words. Except Lily.
Lily was used to it. Cassandra tended to resort to this kind of language to goad some reaction out of her. She liked to throw these scenarios at Lily's face, to try and open her eyes to the reality that would be Lily's life should she chose to join the war against Voldemort. She'd never done that in public, though. Cassandra would save their ugliest arguments for behind closed doors, unwilling to have anyone partaking in their fight, mostly to prevent unwelcome participants. Her stance about that appeared to have taken a sharp turn.
- I don't think Evans could avoid that either way, Thompson – Black offered from his reclining spot on the back of the sofa. His voice had its usual characteristic tone, very even and almost bored, but his whole face was chalked in alertness. - She already garners enough attention as it is, Head Girl, top of our year. It wouldn't make that much of a difference if she took everything passively as you clearly would like her to.
- Oh, is that so? You'd know all about this, wouldn't you, Black?
- What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Thompson?
- What she means – interrupted Elizabeth, looking extremely distressed, blue eyes bloodshot – is that Lily needs to be more careful. It's not wise to go out of her way to antagonize the Slytherins. Especially not in duels. - She turned to Lily. - This was so dangerous, honey. Taking four of them all by yourself, who knows what could've happened?
- What could have happened? How about what did happen? Lily kicked their arses, put them exactly in their place, that's what happened - Marlene chimed in, a sharky smile in her face. That's why she had that odd proud look in her face, Lily realised.
Lily finally spoke up.
- I didn't take them all by myself. Potter was there, he helped me.
She didn't know if that was the right thing to say, putting him in the spot like that, but Lily was done with this conversation. Cassandra had no right to wash their dirty laundry in public like that.
- Oh, yes. Brilliant. The Pureblood knight came to your rescue, how exquisite!
That was enough. Lily clocked the hurtful look that crossed Potter's face before she took one step further inside the Common Room, and closer to Cassandra.
- Are you done? - Lily's voice was calm but it imparted what Lily needed Cassandra to understand. She had gone too far.
Her best friend didn't agree. Or didn't care. She still had a lot to say, Lily knew it. They never did finish the conversation they started after Herbology that day of last term. They also didn't finish their summer talk. Lily could see that Cassandra was ready to finally have it all out. Every single opinion she held regarding Lily's decision to become an auror. Every argument she bore against Lily's participation in the war. Every quarrel she had with Lily's outspoken, unwavering posture in face of the Slytherin's bigotry.
Cassandra was prepared to not give Lily the easy way out this time. So Lily waited for her reply with baited breath, bracing herself for the chaos it would ensue.
- For now, yes.
And then she turned on her heels, leaving the Common Room.
Lily couldn't believe her luck. She was painfully aware that every time they delayed their argument, their resentment towards each other only grew. But Lily would take that anytime of the day if it meant it wouldn't be done in front of the entire Tower.
Lily's body sagged with the departure of her friend. She wanted nothing more than to go herself up to their dorm, escaping the silence that had fallen upon the Common Room, but she wouldn't dare going after her friend now. She faced the Gryffindors in front of her, instead, feeling the awkwardness take over the room.
- Are you okay, Evans? - asked Potter, seeming genuinely worried about her. She remembered Cassandra's unfair words to him.
- I am. Hey, sorry for that she said. She didn't mean anything against you, she was just trying to take a hit on me.
- Don't worry, I don't mind. I'm just sorry she was so harsh on you.
- On all of us. Bloody hell, I've never seen anyone fire so many shots in one go. I'd be very impressed if I wasn't well damn insulted – Black said, coming to their side and patting Potter on the shoulder. - So it's true that you two took four Slytherins out in the fifth-floor corridor? The rumours were that Evans had done it all by herself right before your meeting, and then calmly stepped in in your office to carry out your Heads' business like nothing ever happened! – He laughed as if that was the best thing he heard all year.
- Yeah, I was there. It wasn't that big of a deal, like you're making it sound. - Potter looked at Elizabeth at this. - It was all very quick, they didn't even hit us once. Everything was done in a couple minutes, there was no danger at all.
- Still. I think this is all so unnecessary! - Elizabeth cried again, her pretty face still wrenched in anxiety.
- Unnecessary for you, Elizabeth. You'd never have to go through that, so you will never know what it is to be put in that position. - Black shot back immediately, almost as if he'd being prepared to counterargue Elizabeth.
- Neither would you – barked Marlene, also almost immediately.
- The pot calling the kettle black, McKinnon.
- That's enough.
It was the first time that Remus spoke since the whole argument began. He looked at Lily, his eyes full of his usual kindness.
- This type of discussion is useless. Only Lily really knows what it is to be in those shoes. We should be listening to her instead of bickering among us.
Lily sighed. That was exactly why Cassandra and her never had this conversation with them. In the end, no matter how good their intentions, there was a clear limit to their contribution, since they couldn't know what the two of them went through every day just for being Muggleborn. There was a massive gap between them and there was no way around it.
- I just want to wrap up this day. Sorry, lads, don't really feel like talking right now. - She tried to smile comfortingly, to let them know she was alright, before dragging herself to the armchair next to the fireplace. She'd give a half an hour then she'd go upstairs, where hopefully Cassandra would be tucked in already.
Her friends got the hint, leaving her to be. They hung around for a while longer, until she stood up from where she was curled in, being followed by Marlene and Elizabeth. They entered the room to find Cassandra's bed curtains closed. Relieved, Lily did her toilet ritual quickly, waving goodnight to her roommates and throwing herself in bed, ready to forget about the dire night.
- May I join you?
Lily drew a deep breath in, as if she didn't want Cassandra to join her, when in reality she felt her heart skipping at the sight of her dear friend. It had been fours days since their fight in the Common Room. Four days in which Lily would wake up to find Cassandra's bed empty, only seeing her friend during classes, where they sat apart for the first time since the time they rowed about Severus in fourth year. Cassandra would have her meals when Lily was absent and would go up to their dormitory past Lily's bedtime.
She gave her friend space, knowing full well she should be the one mad at Cassandra, not the other way around. If Cassandra had been worried about Lily duelling the Slytherins, then she should've pulled her into a corner and inquired after what happened. She should've never put up the show she did. Lily knew that, but it in no way lessened how much she missed her best friend.
She removed her school bag from the seat next to her. She had been sitting in the library for the past two hours, finally finishing her Arithmancy essay on Numerology of Curse-Breaking. She was about to call it a night, seeing it was almost curfew, when she heard the footsteps behind her. Now Cassandra lowered herself in the old wooden chair, staring at Lily with her piercing dark eyes.
- I'm ready to apologize to you.
That was such a Cassandra thing to say. To let Lily know she, Cassandra, should've apologized before but didn't because she wasn't ready for it. Lily had to struggle to keep a smile in check.
- I hope you're not expecting me to apologize back, because I won't - Lily said instead of giving in and grinning at her friend.
- I'm not. I never expected you to, I know you too well for that. - She turned her eyes away, raising a hand to stroke her hair puff. - But I'm not apologizing for worrying about you, or for demanding an answer from you.
- An answer?
- Yeah, to why do you insist in putting yourself in harm's way like that.
Lily huffed in exasperation but couldn't say anything because Cassandra continued -
- You know you do that. We both know you enjoy these little duels of yours. - Lily couldn't really argue with that, and Cassandra very much knew that. - Just because you're skilled doesn't mean you should go out picking fights with Slytherins, just for fun. You know they are dangerous, Lily.
- I'm not picking fights just for fun – Lily screeched. - Do you even know what happened that day before you come here and tell me I didn't have a reason for what I did?
- I don't. Nobody knows. Not even Potter. - At Lily's confused look, she added – I asked him.
Well, that was fair. She hadn't told anyone, as a matter of fact, and that included Potter. And he joined her in the duel anyway, no questions asked, not even after the fact. That boy was really something.
- They were planning to do something to the Muggle Studies showroom. Something bad. I told them, politely, to leave, they refused. Potter arrived and we, eh, neutralized them.
Now that Lily was thinking about it, she didn't give the Slytherins any chances to draw back. As soon as Potter arrived, she hit them with spell after spell. She attacked first, she was realising now. Lily made a face. Was that what she did now? Act first, ask later?
Suddenly feeling ashamed of her behaviour, she faced Cassandra with a brand-new sense of forgiveness. Maybe her friend wasn't that wrong after all.
- Well, - Cassandra was saying – I understand why you decided to do what you did. But, like I said, I'm not going to apologize for not wanting you to put yourself in those situations. But I will apologize for the way I brought up my concern. - She extended her hand to squeeze Lily's forearm, a remorseful twist in her face. - I'm really sorry for saying the shit I said. And for saying it all in front of everyone. God, that was fucked-up!
Lily chuckled, enveloping her friend's hand with her own.
- It was. I wanted to kill you.
- I'm glad you didn't - Cassandra smiled. - You know we still have a lot to talk about, right? This topic is far from over.
- I know – Lily sighed. - But not right now.
- No, not right now – Cassandra agreed. - Right now, we're going back to the dorm because it's almost curfew. And you're going to tell me all about the rumours I've been hearing about you going to Hogsmeade with George Akins.
Lily groaned.
As if the past week hadn't been eventful enough, she was literally being chased through the castle by the seventh-year Hufflepuff. He first started after their Arithmancy class the previous Thursday. He had asked her if the Head students had already decided on the date of their first Hogsmeade's visit. She told him no, to what he reacted by asking her to let him know once it was officially scheduled. Assuming he was just very excited for the visit to the village, Lily promptly sought him out on the Tuesday after the Heads' meeting, and the Common Room regrettable exhibition, to tell him the date had been chosen. He replied by asking her to go with him. Despite her flustered state at the unexpected development, she managed to gently turn him down. Now she thought it was perhaps too gently. The next day he cornered her after Charms, making use of their free period to hold her in place, asking her once again to join him in the visit. In spite of her second rejection, he waited for her again the next day after Arithmancy, only letting her go when she threatened to hex him if he didn't move out of her way.
She wasn't sure how this saga had turned into a rumour in which she had agreed to go with him. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that she couldn't be more far away from saying yes.
- He's a pain in the arse – she told Cassandra, as they gathered their things to leave the library. - I've told him three times no. I'm not even being nice about it anymore.
- Well, you know what they say – sang Cassandra. - Love is blind. And in this case, in complete dissonance with reality.
Lily chuckled, just too happy to be walking side to side with Cassandra again, talking about trivial things such as stupid boys.
- It's just my luck. The year I decide to not get involved with anyone, blokes start falling from the skies. It's not only Akins, I told you about bloody Shaw. And Cooper was staring at me a bit weird during Ancient Runes the other day, did you notice?
- I did notice. Though I wouldn't complain if I were you, he's absolutely lush. Remember when Marlene wrote a poem about him? - She laughed at the memory for a second before frowning, sending Lily a confused look. - Wait. Would you be interested in any of them if it weren't for you resolution – she rolled her eyes - to not date anyone this year?
- Ugh, definitely not. Not even Cooper, he's rather tiresome. Even Marlene recognizes that now. No, I don't fancy any of them, I just meant that they weren't interested in me last year, or the year before, when I was available.
- But they don't know you're not available now.
- Well, again, just my luck. Just a big blooming coincidence to make my life harder.
Cassandra cackled, not even slightly sorry for Lily's predicament.
- Oh, poor Head Girl. Having to fend off suitors left and right. I feel for you.
- Piss off – Lily sassed back. - I just wished I had more options when I was younger, then I could've enjoyed a little bit before having to go all full responsible. - Lily deepened her voice, in a mocking imitation of who knows who. - The honourable Head Girl Lily Evans, perfect in everything.
Cassandra snickered.
- Well, considering nobody is forcing you to act like you're perfect, and I very much know that this is all voluntarily done, I don't feel an ounce of pity for you.
- When have you ever pitied me, Cassandra? I could be having a seizure in front of you and you'd tell me to buck it up.
- Nonsense. I just don't put up with your unnecessary shit. Like this resolution. Honestly, what the fuck, Lily.
- I've told you, Cassandra. – Lily sighed, as if her friend was being purposefully obtuse. - After the cock-up that last year was, I can't afford doing it all again.
- Neither can I, God forbid going through that shit show again. - Cassandra laughed with too much mirth in Lily's opinion. Cassandra had suffered together with Lily through the whole motion of pretending Severus was someone he was not, then falling out with Severus; throwing herself at Edgar and pretending it to be something it was not, then falling out with Edgar; and once more going back to pretending, this time that she wasn't heartbroken over it all. Even though she wasn't the one in the whirlwind of ill-fated emotions, Cassandra was who picked up Lily's pieces after her. Her laughing so careless about it now made Lily want to smack her.
- Well, then you know why I'm unavailable this year – Lily said, instead of resorting to physical violence. She was just back in good terms with her best friend. How was she already annoyed at something completely different, their cosmic-size disagreement long forgotten?
- Not really. - Cassandra wasn't laughing anymore, just watching Lily sideways as they made their way to the Tower. - I mean, I understand why you'd want to be careful. But you've been single for almost a year now, it's not like it would be strange if you were ready to fool around a bit. No one would blame you.
- And I intend to go on another year single. I mean it, Cassie. - Lily looked at her friend, dead serious. - The last thing I need this year is to get involved with someone. Or, worse, – Lily grimaced – to fall in love. I just won't.
It wouldn't take her long to realize how spectacularly wrong she was.
And it all started the next Monday, 11th October 1977.
It was the Heads' meeting before their first visit to Hogsmeade. Lily wanted to make sure all prefects were well prepared in an effort to avoid the same disorder it was every time they went back from the village the year before. Then she was a prefect under the Head authority of Misandra Parkinson and Arfran Tolkens, who were much more interested in making use of their capacity to have the time of their lives. Rendezvous in corridors after curfew, parties until late hours of the morning in the Slytherin and Ravenclaw houses, loud music and drugs blasting the whole weekend. Their weekly meetings with the prefects were ridiculous. And so were the rules they set for their Hogsmeade's visit. As if they weren't aware students wouldn't follow the time guidelines or abstain from bringing forbidden items back to the school.
Every visit was the same chaos. Lily had to work twice as hard to keep it from reaching disastrous proportions. Remus and her spent many an hour slandering the Head students. Lily suspected that was when their bond really got strong.
Therefore, on that Monday night, Lily asked Potter to let her be the one to lay it on thick to the prefects, covering all sides of which she could think. She talked during almost an hour, never having been more thorough in her life. Potter grinned through the whole thing, fully amused.
- How lucky you all are that your Head Girl not only predicts every single thing that could possibly go wrong in a hundred miles radius, she also comes up with the solution to each one of them!
Lily laughed along with the prefects, internally preening under his praise. He'd tended to do that most meetings, just telling her how good she was. It would make her blush if she was a little bit less cocksure. This time she just took it in stride and carried on with her instructions for next Saturday. When she finished, she looked back at him, silently asking him if he wished to add anything, and when he just thanked her and dismissed the students in front of them, Lily turned around to pack her things.
Of course, Monday nights also meant Thomas fucking Shaw.
The prefects had barely been dismissed by Potter and he was already making his way to her, pulling her to the corner of the office. She fixed her fake smile at the sight of him, now coming as natural as breathing. He complimented her for the way she led the meeting but in his mouth the compliment didn't feel as genuine, and heart-warming, as in Potter's. She thanked him but before she could try and think of an excuse to blow him off again, he was asking to walk her back to the Gryffindor Tower.
No, not this again.
From the corner of her eyes, she noticed with relief that Potter was still around, calmly organizing their material as if he had all the time in the world. He was her exit.
- No, that's okay, Thomas. I will walk back with Potter, it's fine – she hurried to say, taking a resolute step away from him.
- Are you sure? Because that would be absolutely no probl -
- Yes. You see, we are both Gryffindors so it makes sense that we go together. You know, to the same location. And even though an extra person is always welcome in the walk back to one's dorm, – Lily offered another fake smile, this time laced with a sarcasm she couldn't help – I think we will be fine tonight.
He finally understood he couldn't win that night. Not when Potter didn't give him any way out this time. Shaw left, at last, having just crossed the threshold of the office door, out of earshot, and Potter was already smirking at her, entertained with her suffering.
- Alright, Evans?
She couldn't help but snapping.
- Honestly, Potter, what's wrong with you blokes? You all simply can't take a fucking hint!
He just shrugged.
- I hate to break it to you, but Shaw is not the sharpest tool in the shed. I'm afraid he will need you to charm a banner screaming 'Leave me the fuck alone, you tosser' before he can finally understand that you're not interested.
She would find it funny if she wasn't feeling so very done with all the attention she'd been getting the past weeks. Her talk with Cassandra was still fresh in her mind.
- But it's not only him! Bloody Akins has been on my back the whole week, even though I already told him I'm not going to Hogsmeade with him. What more do I have to do for them to just get it?
She expected him to laugh it off or even tease her for being too disdainful regarding blokes chasing her. Instead, he said -
- Well, Evans, I guess those are the occupational hazards of being the most gorgeous girl in Hogwarts.
A/N: Yay, there we have it. Finally arrived at the beginning of What's in a name. To those who haven't read it yet, I recommend to do it now because next chapter picks up right after their Heads' meeting at the end of What's in a name.
I hope you're enjoying the fic so far! The next chapters finally get into the good stuff, I'm loving writing them :)