A/N: Hi everyone! I know I said I'd always update on Fridays but from now on I'll update on Thursdays.
Saturday I'm going on vacation for a month, finally visiting my homecountry again after two years away because of the COVID lockdown. I have written enough chapters to keep updating it every week, but the next Fridays are going to be busy for me, so I'll anticipate it one day. I'll try to maintain the update schedule, even during the holiday, buuuut... there's always a chance something will happen, I won't have wifi, I won't have the time to do the final edits etc. So I apologize in advance for any possible delays and hope for your understanding!
Rating warning: this chapter is rated E (explicit), for very mature content!
Chapter 5: Lost in your current
Lily was a woman obsessed. She'd never thought she'd be that person but, unfortunately, she was. There was nothing occupying her mind except James Potter.
After their date, she couldn't take her eyes, and hands, off him. The glances weren't stolen anymore. She would take her time to notice how his hair had woken up every morning, pointing to the left or to the right, since he couldn't seem to have control over it either way. She would pay attention to how his tie would start the day properly fixed around the neck only to be a pool of mess on his chest level after only one period of class. She would let her eyes linger on his mouth and the way he licked his lips before cracking a joke, thoroughly imagining it on her.
The exchanged words weren't reduced to their shared meals or when their friends were gathered anymore. Lily would deliberately seek him out, asking about his day, inquiring about how he felt concerning the fast-approaching first Quidditch game of the season, and joining him on his way to classes, to the Gryffindor Tower, to Heads' meetings. And during the whole time, she would touch his arm or bend in his direction, slightly brushing his side, relishing when he gently rested his strong hand on her lower back.
Even if she could hold herself, she didn't want to. She just wanted him.
It took no time for their friends to realise there was something there.
- What the fuck is going on with you two? - asked Black on Monday, three days after their date. The Marauders and the girls were sat together for lunch at the Gryffindor table. As he said it, every single one of their friends stopped what they were doing to listen.
James looked at Lily, tilting his head. She turned her head to check if there were other people around them, but they were the only students in the middle of the table. She gazed back at him, nodding.
He sighed and faced their friends, with a small smile.
- Uh, Lily and I, eh, we are dating.
Marlene let out a laugh.
- Ha, good one!
Lily laughed too. She could understand how absurd that must sound to their friends. After all, they had no idea what happened on the second full moon of the month, except for Cassandra. Most of Lily and James' interactions, and important moments, have happened away from them, in Heads' meetings, empty Common Room or patrols. Their friends couldn't have known that everything had changed between them. It would look strange, indeed, if after many years of strained relationship, and only two months of (reasonably) friendly dynamic, they would start staring at each other all the time, touching constantly and being, overall, extremely clingy.
- They are not taking the piss, Marls – Cassandra said, when James and Lily just exchanged amused looks at Marlene's reaction.
- What?
After a few beats, their friends began to register what they were saying. Marlene's brows furrowed so much they seemed to have become only one, while Elizabeth had her mouth gaped widely enough to fit a fist. Pettigrew appeared to not quite understand what they were saying, Remus strangely gleaming by his side.
Black had the scariest calm face Lily had ever seen.
He looked at her first, clocking the way Lily's hand had immediately shot up to grab James' forearm when he told them the news. Then, slowly, his gaze turned to James, whose eyes were already on him. James also had a calm face on but Lily could swear she felt his leg briefly jerk under the table.
- How long? - asked Black, quietly.
- Friday was our first date – James replied in the same tone.
Lily felt like she was witnessing something important. Some sort of undeclared battle by the way the two boys stared at each other. It was obvious that Black was not happy that he was only hearing about this now. And together with everyone else. Lily couldn't imagine telling for the first time something that big, and intimate to her, in a room full of all her friends. That's why she had made sure to get Cassandra alone so she could have long conversations with her best mate about her feelings for James.
Lily couldn't understand why James hadn't done the same with Black. They were the type of best friends who would literally risk their lives for each other. They'd probably done so a few times, if they have been running around for years with a werewolf once a month. Lily knew how much Black meant to James. Why would he keep something like that from him then?
- How did this happen? - was Black's next question.
Fuck.
How could they even begin to explain that?
Lily squeezed James' arm automatically and opened her mouth before he had the chance to.
- We grew close to each other during Head duties. Last Monday, after our weekly meeting, I asked James out and he said yes.
- You asked James out? - screeched Marlene, as all of them widened their eyes, completely shocked with the small detail that it had been her the one to take the first step.
- Okay, now, don't act so surprise, it was a fifty-fifty percent chance that it had been her, wasn't it? - grumbled James, pretending to be annoyed by their friends' reaction when Lily knew he wasn't at all.
- Fifty-fifty, James? Don't be a rascal. Everyone knows you always wanted to date Lily, I'd say the chances were ninety-ten.
- Oh, give me a break, Moony, I'd say at least seventy-thirty.
They were joking now, but Lily was still caught up on the piece of information so casually thrown by Remus, and equally casually accepted by James.
Everyone knows you always wanted to date Lily.
Lily saw that Cassandra also noticed it, lifting a curious brow in Lily's direction. Lily shrugged discreetly, getting the now familiar overwhelming wave of emotions she was tending to get whenever there was something relating to James. She shook her head, trying to get a hold of her feelings, and squeezed James' forearm again, signalising him to stop joking.
He did, immediately.
- I asked James out because I like him and I know he likes me. We have just started this, so everything is still very new. That's why we didn't tell you lads yet. But we're telling you now and we'd appreciate if you could keep it easy. And discreet.
Their friends nodded in agreement, still looking very much confused about the whole thing. Even Remus, who declared that this was something James had always wanted and who seemed very pleased to learn they were dating – he still had a surprised air on him while Elizabeth, Marlene and Pettigrew threw question after question at James and Lily about how exactly did it all happen and how did their date go.
They answered the questions with the best of honesty they could, without getting into the specifics of what had happened on the windowsill. When lunch was done, and Lily said goodbye to the group to go to her Arithmancy class, she realised that there was only one person who didn't seem eager to ask them about the development of their relationship.
Sirius Black had stopped asking questions.
For Lily's extreme satisfaction, James didn't seem very capable of taking it slow as he had announced they should. They were snogging everywhere in the castle. The Sunday following their date, after her traditional picnic at the lake with the girls but before she had told them about James and her, they barely managed to complete their rounds, as they would constantly find themselves pressed against a wall or locked inside a broom cupboard. Lily had always been the one initiating it, but James didn't appear to be that much against it by the way he grabbed her hair and bit her lower lip at every chance he got.
He'd always be the one to put a stop to it, though, pushing himself away from Lily, and moving to walk down the corridor in an exaggerated large distance from her. When they finally arrived at the Entrance Hall, by the end of their patrol, he looked completely worn out. He didn't kiss her goodnight when they separated at the bottom of the staircases leading to their dormitories, only telling her he'd see her in the morning and running upstairs. Before he left, Lily caught a sight of his tight trousers. She went to sleep that night in a pleasant brain fog after getting off to the image of James doing the same a couple of doors down.
They snogged Monday after breakfast, telling their friends they needed to deal with some Head business before the first class of the day, and hiding behind a concealed alcove instead. They snogged during their free period that day, making James late for his Quidditch practice. They snogged after their Heads' meeting that night, Lily perched on James' lap, until their lips were sore and curfew had long passed.
They used every second they had available, and sometimes those they had not, in each other's arms. By the third time in the week that they arrived late for a class, mumbling something to the professor about being held behind by Head duties, their friends caught up in their excuses and made sure to tease them at length for their sorry states.
Except Black.
He didn't seem to be upset with James. After their intense stare context during Monday's lunch, the two boys appeared to have talked and figured themselves out. But, still, Black didn't participate in their friends' mockery or show of interest in their new relationship. The friendly façade he had put up the past few days when talking to Lily all but crumbled. He barely addressed her at all now.
Lily knew she should worry about that. After all, he was James' best friend. If she had never had it before, currently she had all the motivation to finally get along with Black. She knew it was important that they had a good rapport, for the sake of what was brewing between James and her. But she was too preoccupied with other things to really give it her genuine attention.
All she thought about was how to get James alone again. When their classes were done, when meetings were wrapped up and essays were written, Lily's only focus was to drag James to the closest empty classroom. She was obsessed and she didn't even care that she was.
- Lily, for Merlin's sake – cried James, for probably the fifth time that Wednesday night. - We need to go. Dinner is almost over!
She paid him no mind. She had cornered him on the Reference Section of the library, where she found him browsing for a book about counter-curses after their N.E.W.T's preparation class that afternoon. He had had Care of Magical Creatures, outside, while Lily had been stuck the whole afternoon in the sixth-floor classroom with Cassandra for Ancient Runes. The last time they had seen each other had been at lunch, when they couldn't get away long enough to properly snog, and after dinner Lily had to patrol with sixth-year Hufflepuff Charlie Achebe. Knowing that she wouldn't get another chance that day, Lily rushed to the library after overhearing Pettigrew telling Remus where James had gone. She found him in the remote section and basically jumped him, without warning. She had him pressed against the shelves now, positioned between his legs, anxious hands pulling at his hair to keep his mouth on hers.
- I'm not that hungry – she replied, moving to lick his earlobe, making him groan.
- Lily, you're going to be the death of me, I swear to Godric – he said, but his calloused finger buried beneath the fabric of her school shirt, pulling her closer to him.
- You're one to talk. - She started to move up, giving small bites along his chin. - You've been driving me crazy for far longer.
James laughed at that.
- I beg to differ.
She hummed but didn't lose focus. She changed sides, now nibbling on his left earlobe, her wet tongue making him growl. He captured her lips again, kissing her ferociously, both hands grabbing her arse to rub her against his front. Lily moaned inside his mouth at the movement, feeling so randy that she doubted she could ever decorously sit surrounded by people at the Gryffindor table.
- Lily, please. We need to stop now.
His pained voice made her falter. He sounded like he really meant it.
Huffing dramatically, Lily took a step back, removing her hands from his neck to fix her uniform. She avoided looking at him, knowing full well that she'd never resist if she took a peek at his full lips and gorgeous hazel eyes.
- Sorry, love – James said, pulling her in for a hug. He always did that, after he made them stop snogging. He'd hug her and say something sweet, as if to placate her. She knew he was trying to take it slow, making an effort to follow all the right steps in their path of discovering each other. But Lily was increasingly horny and all she wanted was him, him, him. She couldn't think of anything else.
Why wasn't it the same for him?
She knew he struggled to interrupt their tryst but he would always manage in the end. He'd always find an inner strength that Lily didn't think she could ever possess. Maybe it was just easier for him to walk away.
She sighed, slipping out of his embrace. They walked out of the library, hands firmly kept inside their respective pockets, towards the Grand Staircase. Despite their decision to not keep it a secret, they still preferred to avoid Hogwarts' humour mill. Lily knew it would be the news of the week, perhaps even of the month, when people found out that the Head Boy and Girl were seeing each other.
Lily didn't care either way. She walked silently now, feeling instead of hunger the prickle of insecurity tingling her skin. Maybe she should pull back a bit. Try harder not to push him so much, as she'd been doing the past days. She was probably coming off as desperate, cornering him in unexpected places, throwing herself at him, almost having to beg for a snog. She didn't feel ashamed of it, because she knew he didn't judge her or thought less of her for it. But she shouldn't be pressuring him to do something he didn't want to.
- Where are you going?
They had just arrived at the intersection of the stairway. James had turned left, to take the stairs going down to the ground floor while Lily had kept straight ahead.
- Uh, I meant it when I said I wasn't hungry. I think I'm just gonna go back to the Tower – she replied to James, trying to maintain a neutral tone. The truth was that she was feeling a bit down. She was done with all the thoughts swirling in her head, making her insecure and anxious. She knew it wasn't James' fault, nor hers for that matter, but she'd had enough of second-guessing herself for now. Better just call it a day.
- Is everything alright, Lily? - James asked, stepping closer to her, concern swimming in his beautiful eyes.
- Yes, of course. You should just go now, dinner is only for another fifteen minutes. And I promised Marlene to help her out with her Potions assignment anyway. I can bet you she's already impatiently waiting for me in the Common Room, cursing me for taking too long – Lily joked, trying to easy James' worried expression. She kissed him briefly on the cheek, winking at him as she walked to the stairs that would take her up. - See you tomorrow, James.
She was right in her assumption that Marlene would be waiting for her. Her friend almost yelped at the sight of Lily coming through the circular hole, rushing to pull her inside and sit her in front of the coffee table filled with untouched Potions books and blank parchments.
- I reckon you haven't got much done yet – Lily quipped, getting comfortable on top of the fluffy yellow pillow on the floor. She inhaled deeply and got set to help her hopeless friend make the deadline of the next day.
Lily had always wondered why Marlene insisted in taking Potions in the N.E.W.T level. The class was, by far, Marlene's worst subject. She had barely secured an Exceeds Expectations in her O.W.L's and that was only because Lily had exhaustively tutored her the days leading to the exam. Her friend was following five N.E.W.T level courses this year and having a hard time to perform in all of them. She knew Marlene wanted to work for the Ministry of Magic but she wondered if it was really necessary that she struggled that much in her final year, considering she was from a prominent Pureblood family who could get her any job she wanted.
Lily admired her force of will, in any case. Marlene worked hard regardless of her contacts. So Lily always made an effort to help her friend whenever she could. Even if it meant having to practically write thirty inches on the ethical uses of the Veritaserum potion for her overnight.
They succeeded. By the time they arrived to their first class the next day, Marlene held proudly in her hands the essay they had hurriedly finished in their dorm before breakfast. Lily was knackered of the few hours she had slept, but was too happy to really care when Marlene sent her the brightest of smile while she handed the parchment to Professor Slughorn.
- Crikey, Lily, have you had no sleep last night? - asked Remus when Lily yawned for the third time during lunch.
- Ooh, James kept you up all night, has he? - crooned Elizabeth, playfully.
She fucking wished.
- Sod off, Lizzie, you know full well Marlene and I were up finishing her Potions assignment – Lily replied, avoiding James' eyes.
Elizabeth laughed with gusto. She was so far the most excited out of their friends about James and Lily seeing each other. She often referred to their encounters and time spent together, wanting to know details about how they were doing. Lily imagined she was delighted that their groups were finally blended together, and that she wasn't the only one engaged in a hook-up with a Marauder anymore.
- And I'm very grateful for that, Lil – said Marlene, from the other side of the table. - You are a great friend. And I know how much you cherish your sleep, so I'm even more grateful. Hopefully you can catch up tonight, if you go to sleep extra early.
- Urgh, I wish I could, Marls. I have patrol with bloody Shaw tonight.
- Ehm, no, you don't, Lily.
It was the first time James had spoken to Lily that day. She had arrived very late for breakfast because she was stuck in the dormitory with Marlene until the last minute, and when she came down, he was already gone. During class, they sat apart, as they usually did, barely sparing any glances to each other. Lily wasn't sure if it was on purpose or not. Was she avoiding him? Or worse, was he avoiding her?
She didn't like the perspective of neither.
- What d'you mean?
- Uh, you exchanged patrol nights with Remus during the meeting last Monday, remember? He will patrol for you tonight and you will patrol for him next Wednesday.
Lily didn't remember it at all. Which didn't surprise her. She spent the entire Heads' meeting counting the seconds until it was done and she could throw herself at James.
- Oh, did I? Why was that again?
It was barely perceptible but Lily still noticed how James stiffened at her question, before forcefully relaxing his face. Next to him, Lily saw Black glance at her for what it felt like the first time since he'd learned that James and her were dating. Remus didn't even blink, staring at Lily with a too calm of an expression.
- I have some personal matters to take care of. I'll be back by Friday.
Personal matters?
Lily looked at the boys in front of her, Pettigrew now anxiously diverting his gaze, and it hit her.
The full moon.
- Ah, yes. I remember now. - She shrugged. - Yeah, sure, that works for me.
The boys relaxed at that, especially after she didn't offer any follow-up questions. They went back to their lunch, chatting with each other again, except James. He still looked at her with pondering eyes.
She arched one eyebrow at him.
- What's wrong, deer?
She hadn't meant the pun, only realizing the double meaning after the words were out of her mouth. But, again, she had never called him 'dear' before, so she supposed some part of her brain was unconsciously making the humorous connection.
James looked like a deer caught in the headlights – this time, pun intended. His eyes widened, mouth slightly gaping. He looked at her like he didn't believe what he was hearing. If she needed confirmation of her speculations, she'd just gotten it.
- Own, is that your pet name for each other? It's so sweet – purred Elizabeth, completely misreading the situation. Luckily, the lads were already engrossed in their own conversation and didn't hear the exchange. Lily didn't want them to be suspicious of her knowledge.
But James?
He wanted to keep his secrets, fine with her. But that didn't mean she wanted to keep hers. That was before they got together, now things were different.
So she stared at him, challenging him. He stared back, jaw clenched, eyes sharp. She winked at him before turning to Elizabeth to ask how her N.E.W.T's Astronomy preparation was going.
Feeling his gaze still on her, Lily's stomach coiled with want.
He found her in their office at the end of their free period. She had retreated to the peace of the room after her Arithmancy class, knowing that James had Quidditch practice, which he rescheduled to that day after cancelling it the previous afternoon due to his N.E.W.T's Herbology training. Lily was sitting in their shared desk, writing the last inches of the essay Professor McGonagall had assigned them the day before, when the door opened unexpectedly and a sweaty, dishevelled James walked in.
Sweet Mother of God.
Lily's legs wobbled ridiculously at the sight and she silently thanked the universe that she was sitting down.
- Hey – she managed to croak out.
- Hey.
He closed the door behind him, stepping carefully inside. He avoided her eyes and now she knew it was on purpose.
- How was practice?
- Good. It just ended.
- Yeah, I kinda gathered that since you're standing in front of me here and not at the pitch – she chuckled. He barely smiled back, gaze still averted.
Oh oh.
- Uh, James, what's -
- What did you mean by that, Lily?
He had suddenly snapped his eyes up to Lily's, whole body tense as he shot her the question.
- What are you talking about, James?
- You know what. The, eh, the pun you made. – He hesitated at the word, as if not sure if it was the correct one.
Lily sighed. By the looks of it, he had run himself ragged in practice, most likely ruminating what she had said at lunch, which was also probably why he was back from it earlier than usual.
There was no way back. It was time for her to be honest, even if he wasn't.
- It's because I know, James – she said softly.
- Know what?
- Everything.
He stared at her, still by the door. For a moment, none of them said anything. Lily waited to see if he was going to ask her what exactly she meant by that but he had apparently lost his ability to speak.
She went ahead.
- I know you lads are Animagi. You're some kind of deer, Pettigrew is a rat and Black a dog. I know that you make the transition every full moon of the month so you can keep Remus company when he's transformed. I know that you've been doing that for sometime already, and that's the secret you keep under lock and key. Well, at least one of them.
By the time she was done talking James' face was a mask of bewilderment.
- Lily – he choked. He shook his head several times, brows completely furrowed, teeth grinding. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, raising both of his hands to clasp at the nape of his neck. He was the image of perplexity. Shaking his head again, he opened his eyes. - How the fuck do you know that?
She shrugged.
- I saw Pettigrew transform last year. He didn't see me, I was in the basement of the Potions classroom, he was in a rush I guess. - Lily sighed, bringing her arms to cross over her chest, feeling the need to settle herself. - I knew it wasn't any spell because he didn't have his wand, so the only alternative was for him to be an Animagus. And, of course, he wouldn't do that alone. You lads are the most co-dependent group of boys I've ever met, what one does the other must necessarily do too. – She chuckled. He didn't. - If he was one, I knew that you and Black must also be. Especially because you are so good at Transfiguration. I suppose that's exactly the reason behind it. And now that I think about it, you all started surpassing me at the subject somewhere around fifth year, so I would guess that's when you started transforming.
She hadn't consciously explored that particular trail of thought with herself yet. She imagined they were transforming for a while now but she hadn't been sure since when. But, by explaining her reasoning for the first time aloud, she started making connections she hadn't before.
She powered through.
- Anyway, that's how I know you are Animagi. It took me all summer to figure out but, I mean, it does make sense. You are all always gone together with Remus in the full moon. First, I thought it was just a coincidence, but it's much more logical that you would accompany him during his transformation. Of course you would. Again, co-dependency. – She didn't chuckle this time, yet the thought still amused her. But it was time to wrap this up, before her nerves got the best of her. - And, naturally, there's your pet names for each other. After seeing Pettigrew, I understood why Wormtail, and Remus as Moony, because, eh, well, because of his condition. And you and Black, that's just a guess I suppose. Black is Padfoot. I thought a folk animal, maybe a sheep. Obviously, I doubt he would have actually chosen that, so it must be another type of folk animal, like a large dog for example. - During her explanation, she couldn't keep looking at James for too long, instead making her eyes travel the whole room while she spoke. At this point, though, she paused, uncrossing her arms, and held his gaze. - You are Prongs. Some kind of antelope. Maybe a buck or a deer. Or am I wrong?
She finally fell silent, not expecting him to actually give her an answer.
He didn't. He exhaled forcefully, throwing his specs on the small armchair next to the fireplace, so he could vigorously rub his hands on his face. He stayed like this for what it felt like ages.
Lily stood up.
This was going poorly. She had never gotten to the point of imagining how their conversation would go if she ever did tell him what she knew. She hadn't gone that far in her musings. But now that it had happened, she felt much more troubled than she would've anticipated. She hated seeing him so thrown off balance like this.
- James – she called. He still had his hands over his eyes. - James, I'm sorry. I know this is serious. I didn't tell anyone, I swear. I never really meant to intrude in your, eh, your personal matters. – She used the same expression Remus had at lunch for lack of a better description.
James finally looked at her.
- How long have you known about Remus?
- Ehm, since fifth year.
- How?
- Guess the same way it happened at lunch. Patrol schedules. He was never available during full moons and always debilitated afterwards. The math wasn't that difficult.
He nodded, throat bobbing up and down. He was staring at her now. Eyes indecipherable.
Lily didn't know what to expect from him in that moment. He might storm out, angry at having his secrets exposed. He might ask her more questions, probe her and make her swear she wouldn't tell another soul. He might just feel bad about the whole thing, not knowing what to do with himself.
But she would have never, even in her wildest dreams, expected him to do what he did.
He crossed the office in a few long steps, easily reaching her side, and kissed her.
His hands cradled her neck, keeping her steady as he first just connected their lips together for a beat, before pulling her lower lip with his teeth to open her mouth for him. His tongue made its way in, conquering her. His soft lips drew her in, persistent tongue travelling back and forth, exploring every corner of her mouth. This kiss was different from any other kiss they had shared so far. It was thorough. Careful. Full.
It was like he wanted to tell her something with it. What it was, she had no idea. Her mind was swimming, completely lost in his current.
He deepened the kiss, bringing her closer to him by stretching his right arm until he braced her neck with his bicep, his left hand trailing south to grab her waist. He enveloped her with his body and his mouth, demanding her to give in to him, as if she had anything left to surrender. She was so utterly his that there were no remainders out of reach.
Abruptly, as quickly as he had started, he ended their kiss by turning Lily around on her feet, pressing her hipbones against the hard edge of the Heads' desk. Startled, she surged her arms to the surface of the desk, palming her hands down to support her weight. James stood behind her, one hand raised to her hair, grabbing it roughly to turn her head to him, while the other dipped under her school skirt and opened her legs for him. He placed himself against her back, mouth now connected to her ear.
- You're so fucking smart, Lily – he whispered against her earlobe, while the hand he had on her thighs made its way up her back. - Figuring it all by yourself, putting all the pieces together without help. Knowing about Remus for two years already and not telling anyone. - His hand roamed on her stomach for a beat before sliding down the rem of her shirt. - You're so damn intelligent. It turns me the fuck on.
Lily gasped when his hand dropped under her skirt and reached her knickers. Her already completely soaked knickers.
- And you're so fucking gorgeous – he said in her ear. - So bloody sexy in your school uniform. Your fucking perfect arse in this tiny little skirt. It drives me mad. - His fingers pushed her knickers aside, readily finding her clitoris, and Lily was gone.
He made circles with the tip of two fingers, brushing slightly against her most sensitive spot, all the while his other hand was still rough, tugging her hair and bringing her head back to him, so he could keep talking to her. The combination of gentle and harsh was turning Lily's body to mush.
She whimpered when he added his thumb and rubbed her nub.
- You like this, Lily? Is that what you want? - he asked, repeating the motion and making Lily whimper again. - You want me to make you come again?
Lily couldn't speak even if her life depended on it, so she nodded fervently.
- I know you do, love. And I will get you there. I'll get you the orgasm you want. Because you deserve it. - He bit a tender flesh under her ear, making it sting for a moment before he soothed it with his tongue. - You're so smart, - he bit another piece of flesh - so sweet, - and another - so good. You deserve to come because you're such a good girl, aren't you, Lily?
The moan that escaped Lily when he said that would've embarrassed her if she still had her wits with her. Luckily, she didn't.
James chuckled.
- Yes, you are. But you're also such a bad girl. Chasing me around the castle, rubbing yourself on me in every corner of the school, making me late for classes and practice because you can't take your hands off of me. - He let go of her hair suddenly, before pulling it again the next moment, even harder, snapping her neck back to look at him. Without his frames, his hazel eyes looked deeper, warmer. She could easily get lost on them if he wasn't keeping her anchored to reality with his demanding hands. - Are you a good girl or a bad girl, Lily?
Lily stared at him. Heated eyes, messy hair, swollen lips. The musky smell of his sweat clouding her senses.
- I'm anything you want me to be.
James growled, looking close to snapping. He swallowed hard, reclaiming control.
- It doesn't matter what I want. What do you want from me? My fingers inside you? - At that, he buried two fingers into her in one move, eliciting a loud cry out from her. - Is that what you want, Lily?
He let her head go once more and repositioned himself behind her, never stopping the skilled movement of his fingers. He buried his sweaty forehead on the crook of her neck while he pinned his front to Lily's back, pressing his hard, thick bulge against her arse.
- James – Lily pleaded.
- What, love? Are my fingers not enough? What else do you want?
He rubbed his hard-on on Lily again, making her a mess of whimpers and sobs.
- Do you also want my cock? Tell me, Lily, is that what you want? - He kept grinding himself on her, the back of her skirt already fully raised to allow him to perfectly fit his erection against her. Lily tried to speak again, but discovered she couldn't, so she just nodded jerkily. - Use your words, Lily. Do you want my cock?
She has never put so much effort into accomplishing something. She forced the words out.
- Yes, I-I do, please, James, ah, I-I want your cock. I want it so bad.
James growled again, the sound reverberating on her neck, the hot huff of breath he pushed out sending a shiver through Lily's entire body.
- I know you do, love. But not yet. First, I'm going to make you come with my fingers. – At that, he increased the pace of the ones buried inside her, while his thumb kept the same slow pattern that was driving Lily crazy. - Then, with my mouth. And, lastly, with my cock. When I finally have my way with you, Lily, I'm going to fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk for days.
Lord Almighty.
Lily was going to explode.
James kept going.
- I can't wait to have you, love. It's going to be the best thing we've ever done in our lives. But, first, I need to make you as gone for me as I am for you. I need to make sure we're on the same page before I fuck you. - Lily absently mused if it was really possible for her to be even more gone for him than she currently was. - And, before all of that happens, you're going to first come on my hand. Right now. - He doubled the pressure of his fingers, mouth and body, and demanded -
– Come now, Lily. Scream for me.
She did.
Lily's entire body erupted with pleasure, quivering uncontrollably as an orgasm took over her. Closing her eyes with the sheer force of it, Lily screamed. But, at the last second, James moved his hand from her hair and covered her mouth, muffling the deafening sound coming out of her. Internally, she thanked him for his presence of mind, considering that the room was not silenced and she would have certainly been heard outside in the corridor if he hadn't suppressed the noise. She would have probably been heard in the Great Hall, if she was being honest. She was that loud.
If Lily was gone before, now she was a useless pile of bones. She felt her entire body sag with exhaustion, so satisfied she could go straight to bed and sleep until the morning. Instead, she was turned around in her spot, hugged and kissed. James' mouth was gentle now, his hands caressing her sides as he cuddled her back to life. She melted inside his embrace, letting him guide her to the armchair, where he rescued his spectacles before making her sit comfortably.
- I'll be right back, love.
Lily blinked, confused.
- Where are you going? - she asked sluggish, already missing his warmth.
He laughed softly, taking a step back towards the door.
- I need to take care of this quickly.
Lily took a while to understand what he meant. Her brain was definitely not at its highest level of performance at the moment. But she finally caught up with what he was saying, taking notice of his still very hard situation.
She frowned.
- I can take care of that for you. It's only fair. Come back here!
- Nah, I got it – he replied easily, reaching the door. - I'll be back before you know it, it will be very fast, I can promise you that. – He winked, and then left the office.
Lily pouted for a beat, annoyed that he didn't let her do it for him, before she realized she didn't really care right now. She had come so good she had no complaints about anything anymore.
She curled in the armchair, changing positions until she was sitting on her legs, then conjured a warm blanket with her wand, throwing on top of her, and accioed her school bag from the other side of the room. She found buried deep in the bag what she was craving for, a leftover of the chocolate fudge from breakfast, and set to eat it, feeling like the most content girl in the world.
James had to use all his power of persuasion to convince Lily to leave the armchair and come down for dinner. After less than five minutes, if Lily's brain could still be trusted to make sense of something so trivial as the passing of time, James had walked back into their office, wide grin on his face. He rushed to join Lily on the armchair, arranging the seat for him to slide in, Lily perched on his lap. She fixed her blanked to cover both of them and offered him a piece of her fudge, which he gladly accepted, exaggeratedly thanking her for her kindness of heart of sharing the chocolate. After how hard he made her come, there was nothing she wouldn't share with him.
They stayed like this for a long time, James gently caressing her hair, occasionally giving her sweet kisses, while they finished the fudge and chatted leisurely. They didn't return to the previous topic, too heavy for the moment. They just enjoyed their time together, Lily feeling so comfortable that she started dozing off.
Noticing it, James decided it was time for them to go. Dinner had already started. She'd missed it the day before, he was saying, she couldn't do it again that night. He finally convinced her when he swore to her that he was certain that that night there would be fried beans again. She couldn't say no to such an opportunity.
They walked the corridors hand in hand, uncaring of being seen by fellow students. The way was basically empty, in any case, since most people were in the Great Hall. James was silent for the most part, Lily merrily following him, mind blank.
His wasn't.
- I can't believe you figured it all out. I mean, I knew that you suspected something, but all of it? It's insane.
She smiled.
- It took me all summer, though.
- That's why you said you spent six weeks locked inside your bedroom? Were you cocking up conspiracy theories the whole time, Evans? - he teased.
Lily laughed, immensely happy she was finally talking to him about all the shite that was fogging her mind all those months. One less secret, one less wall between them.
- Exactly. That's what I did all summer long. Freaked out and ate the shit out of my mum's fridge.
- Hm, so you're a fan of musing and munching, how interesting. That's why you get along so well with Remus. - They reached the first floor, passing by Professor McGonagall's office, where they immediately let go of each other's hand in an unspoken agreement. They weren't ready yet to tell their Head of House that they were an item.
- I guess I am. Every time I worried about something, I grabbed a snack. Cassandra almost had a stroke when she saw how much weight I put on by the end of summer.
James fell quiet at that, forehead scrunched. Lily was about to open her mouth to ask him what was wrong when he suddenly let out a deep, pleased laugh.
- So it's all thanks to me, then! - He seemed extremely delighted about something, looking Lily up and down, eyes lingering appreciatively on her thighs and tits.
- James!
He laughed again.
- Everybody in Hogwarts noticed how fit you came back from the summer, Lily. You've always been fit, of course, but this year your clothes have been tighter than ever and you have so many curves I worry I might crash and burn if I look at you for too long. - He smirked at her, winking sassily. - And that's all thanks to me. Well, and the lads. But still, I'm part of it.
- How d'you figure that?
- Well, you just said how you were binge-eating because you spent your summer speculating about me and the Marauders, so if you think about it, I was the reason you became so, eh, voluptuous. - He pinched her sides at that, making her screech.
- Sod off, Potter – she squelched, pushing his hand away, making him laugh even more. She couldn't help the small chuckled that escaped her. She loved his silly sense of humour.
They were reaching the ground floor, about to take the turn to the Great Hall, when they heard someone calling after them.
- Oi, Potter!
Chip Ainsworth trotted in their direction, waving wildly at James as if they would've missed his six-feet-tall approaching form if he didn't. He grinned at Lily, taking a bit longer than necessary to avert his gaze from her.
James rolled his eyes.
- Yes, Chip?
- I was just wondering what time we're supposed to gather tomorrow morning, Captain.
Captain?
Fuck, that was a turn-on.
Lily willed her body not to react as she lifted her eyes to James, pretending to be interested in the answer.
- Six-fifteen on the pitch. Don't forget your helmet again, fuckface.
Ainsworth laughed and promised to bring all his gear the next day. He said his goodbyes, eyes once again stalling on Lily, and then left James and her to resume their way to the Great Hall.
- Blimey, James. Six-fifteen? You're a raging lunatic.
He chuckled, briefly pausing to let her go first at the entrance of the hall.
- Well, that was the only time I could squeeze us in tomorrow. We don't usually have practice on Fridays, but I wanted to train one last time before the match Saturday. So that was the only option, really.
- Are you nervous?
He nodded immediately.
- Definitely. I always am before the first game of the season. Won't probably be able to eat shit right now - he joked, stopping at the middle of the table, waiting for her to get settled next to Cassandra before sitting to Remus' left.
- Hello there, lovebirds. Again, almost missing a meal. Don't you two just never get enough of each other? - Elizabeth sang, smiling ear to ear.
- Don't even ask, Lizzie, I don't want to know the answer – replied Marlene, jocosely.
Lily grinned at her friends, winking at James. He winked back, pointing at something in front of him.
- What did I say?
It was a bowl full of fried beans. Lily shrieked, delighted, and reached forward to grab the food.
- Oh, how I've missed you – she cooed, bringing the bowl into her arms. - I promise I won't leave not one of you behind, you're coming all down straight to my belly.
James tittered.
- You had them last Friday, Lily, it hasn't been that long.
- Long enough, Captain.
James' mirth receded promptly, an eyebrow arching. Lily smirked.
- Is this another pet name? Merlin, you two really can't have enough – scoffed Elizabeth.
- Ugh, they have pet names already? - Marlene groaned. - And you said you wanted to take it slow. That doesn't sound like it, does it.
James and Lily exchanged identical grins.
- For fuck's sake.
This time the groan came from Black. It was the first time he said anything during the daily shenanigans of their friends probing around their relationship and taking the piss out of them. He'd normally just watch it all like he couldn't care less for what was happening.
- Something on your mind, Sirius? - asked James, grin dimmed, voice even.
- Nothing – his friend replied, with a roll of his eyes. - Moons, is the shepherd's pie tasty tonight?
Remus looked at him surprised.
- It's always tasty. I tell you that every time, Padfoot, and you never believe me.
- Yeah, whatever, I'll have some tonight.
He seemed to be in a foul mood, reaching for the dish with a scowl on his face. Lily looked at James, worried that he'd be upset about this little display of animosity, but he had a strange glint in his gaze.
- Can't believe you're finally giving in and eating the pie, Padfoot – he started, talking slowly. - You were always so firm about not taking part in the English tradition of having such a filling meal for dinner.
James looked Black straight in the eye.
- When did you start following people like this, Pads? When did you become such a – he paused for a beat - sheep?
Lily choked on her beans, coughing half of it out, while James howled with laughter. He laughed so hard tears streamed down his cheeks. The whole table looked at him like he'd gone mad, Black completely baffled.
- What the fuck, Prongs?
James didn't care. He kept laughing, supporting his head on his hands while his shoulders shook violently. Lily guessed what she'd told him a couple of hours ago was finally sinking in. And, as usual, James took it all good-humouredly.
- Bloody hell, Lily, this is just too funny. - He wiped the tears off his face, shaking his head as sudden bursts of laugh still seized him now and then. - You're fucking brilliant, you know that?
Lily beamed, heart full of affection for the wonderful boy in front of her.
- Yes, I do.
Lily woke up euphoric that Saturday, just like every single Gryffindor student. It was the first Quidditch game of the season, Gryffindor against Ravenclaw. It was a hell of a day for their house.
The seventh-year girls' dormitory was a symphony of chaos and mayhem that morning. Elizabeth had charmed her magical wireless to play the Hogwarts anthem and random Quidditch catchy songs, dancing around the dorm wrapped up in the Gryffindor banner flag. Cassandra had taken as her personal duty to provide liquor, filling their massive picnic rucksack with turnip wine, Firewhiskey and Knotgrass mead.
- You are aware that is nine o'clock in the morning, aren't you? - Marlene said, concernedly following Cassandra's progress.
Lily had changed her outfit four times already. It would be the first time she was going to watch James play as his date. She had watched other Quidditch matches before, especially when the girls decided to make a day out of it, going for a stroll at the lake after the game or throwing a picnic. But she had never really cared before. She'd support her house and cheer loudly whenever they scored, but it hardly changed her life whether they won or loss.
Today she really wanted a win. She wanted to see James happy. See his eyes wrinkle when his smile was so wide it almost split his face in two. See him laughing joyfully alongside his teammates, getting the praise he deserved. Get the chance to spend the whole night next to him when they inevitably threw a celebration party in the Common Room. Lily really wanted James in a good mood, because all she wanted was to be surrounded by him, hearing his pleasant laugh and enjoying his intoxicating personality.
Therefore, she wanted to look good. Not her average game outfit, some common muggle jeans, boring jumper and Gryffindor scarf. She needed to put extra effort today.
- How about this one?
She turned to her friends, showing off her dark velvet skirt and skin-tight top. She twirled from one side to the other to let her friends see all the angles.
- I think it's too cold for that, Lily. You'll be uncomfortable in the stands if you go like this.
- I agree. And, honestly, Potter will think you look fit if you wear a potato bag, so just wear something comfy and be done with it.
Lilly huffed, annoyed. Her friends were definitely not in the same headspace as she was. But she guessed they had a point. That Saturday was indeed a particularly cold day.
She settled for a nice, black pair of slacks with a colourful Gryffindor sweater. She made Elizabeth stop whirling around the dorm for a minute to come help her put make-up on, her friend being the best judge of beauty standards of the four of them.
Fifteen minutes later, they walked into the Great Hall to find it bursting with activity. Almost every student in the castle was already up and about, eating too much, talking too loud and excitedly trading predictions and bets about the match. The girls spotted the Marauders in their usual seats, making a beeline to them. James wasn't with them, as Lily knew he wouldn't. He was already with his team, preparing for the game that started in a bit over an hour.
Lily felt her insides boil with excitement. She'd never felt like that during a Quidditch Saturday before. All this thrill of expectation, the buzz of adrenaline coming from being in a noisy hall, students shouting enthusiastically, music playing unexpectedly from people's pockets, non-stop chats and laughs. It was exhilarating.
Knowing that in an hour she would be watching the most gorgeous bloke in school skilfully ride his broom, giving orders to his teammates and commanding the pitch with his magnetic energy, before he fell directly into her arms just made it all more electrifying.
She couldn't wait for it.
When they finally arrived at the pitch, making their way to the stands on the Gryffindor side, Lily's stomach was pirouetting. She sat between Marlene and Remus, on the third row in front of the goal posts. The hooting noise from where they stood was deafening. When the teams entered the pitch, Lily needed to cover her ears with her hands to avoid becoming hearing-impaired. She didn't care. She laughed throughout it all, unable to escape the contagiousness of the absurd atmosphere enveloping her.
Her heart skipped a whole beat when she spotted James in the air, surrounded by the rest of the Gryffindor team. He was donning his Gryffindor jersey and cape, the captain logo bright on his right arm. He looked so damn handsome in the tight garment, his black hair fluttering wildly around him, Lily needed to look away in order to breathe again.
She was too busy trying to get a hold of her emotions to notice that the game had started. She blinked and Gryffindor was ten points ahead already. Remus explained in her ear, almost screaming to be heard above the blasting noise, how they had scored. Lily forced herself to stay focused, eyes wide open to capture everything that was happening on the pitch.
Her job was made much easier by being James the one scoring all the time. Her eyes were already following him automatically. That he was always in the middle of every play facilitated the process of Lily understanding the game. She just needed to concentrate on him, as she was used to do by then, and she would see the goals being made.
He was absolutely amazing. His agile, athletic body mounted the fastest broom of the game, dominating the air with ease. Lily saw him gesturing to his teammates from time to time, organizing the team, strategizing their next play. His face was in a permanent guise of concentration, forehead scrunched, jaw clenched, expression serious. Lily couldn't wait to be the one he gave commands to, pressing her against a wall, hands under her skirt, hot tongue sucking her neck, making her absolutely beg for -
Lily blinked hard, snapping her eyes back to the match and pushing down the filthy images that had taken over her mind. She turned her head to ask Remus what had happened. He told her Gryffindor had just bagged their seventeenth goal, scoring 170 against Ravenclaw's 30 points.
What a mauling.
Lily looked for James in the air, finding him mid-play, after stealing the quaffle, throwing it back and forth with his fellow chaser, sixth-year Anna Dalton, weaving through the Ravenclaw players. Dalton almost dropped the quaffle but managed to pass to James at the last second. James had to dive deeper to secure it, but quickly regained his position, flying unimpeded to the left goal post some inconsequential feet ahead of him. Graham Bell, the Ravenclaw keeper, was on the opposite post, too far away to pose any obstacles to him. James surged forward, his entire body stretching out, the arm holding the quaffle propelling backwards, getting set to shoot, before he threw it with all his force in direction of the goal. Every single Hogwarts student followed the path of the quaffle, slightly inclined, until it hit the upper side of the hoop, bouncing back in play in the middle of the pitch.
Lily groaned together with the rest of the Gryffindor stand, turning her head to Remus to comment what a bad luck James had had, before her attention got diverted. A growing expectant roar was taking over the stands. Lily looked around to find the source of the change in atmosphere and realized, in horror, that Ravenclaw seeker Carmelia Carmichael had sprinted forward after spotting the snitch. The Gryffindors didn't even have time to boo her, to try and destabilize her, and she had caught it.
Ravenclaw caught the snitch.
The final soccer was 180-170.
Gryffindor lost.