Reyna's POV
There was a reason that I didn't sleep anymore. When I do sleep my dreams are plagued with memories of the past, of Jason. Venus's words were ringing in my ears. She had just told me that I was doomed in love. And now all I could picture was Jason. Jason and his perfect blonde hair, Jason and is ice blue eyes that I would gladly freeze in, Jason and the stupid scar above his mouth the twitches upward whenever he smiles his stupidly adorable smile, Jason and his even more stupid glasses that I would always tease him about. Jason and the stupid way he had to confess that he loved me. Stupid perfect Jason. Why did he have to tell me that he loved me? It was one thing when I knew that he could never love me back. But now that I know, it just makes things so much more complicated. I can never tell him that I love him just as much as he loves me, if not more. I was going to do it when we got back from our quest but now considering everything that Venus just said I can never tell him. It's better for both of us this way. Besides, he probably didn't even mean it. I know Jaosn like the back of my hand. I've been friends with him since he first joined the Legion, we were just good friends that's all. We both call each other by ridiculous nicknames that annoys the other person. (Okay it only mainly annoys me). But I could never date Jason, it's too much of a risk. It's safer for both of us this way. Speaking of Jason, here comes wonder boy now. "Hey Rey Rey, we gotta get going. Two cyclops incoming. Rey?" I couldn't move. I could barely breathe much less hear whatever it was that Jason was trying to tell me. Next thing I know Jason is grabbing my hand and leading me through the park back to where our Pegasi were supposed to be, but instead of two there was only one. Jason's must have gotten spooked when the cyclops appeared and ran off. He pulled me up following behind. He took the reins and shot us up into the sky securing me in between his arms. "What did she say to you, Rey?" I just buried my head deeper into Jason's warm chest. "Do you wanna talk about it?" I shook my head no and we stayed that way the rest of the ride home. In comfortable silence as I mulled over what to do.
The night we got home there was a huge feast in our honor. Everyone was having a great time, me and Jason sat at the head praetors table like always. Everything was the same, everyone was talking and having fun and Jason was deep in discussion with Dakota. Everything was the same yet to me nothing was the same. I excused myself and walked over to my tree, it was the one place in all of New Rome that I could actually think. I was deep in my thoughts when I heard the sounds of footsteps approaching and ragged breathing. I quickly spun around and unsheathed my Javelin only to be met by Jason. "Chill Rey Rey, I just wanted to make sure you're alright." I removed my Javelin from his throat and turned back around to face the moonlight.
"I'm fine Jace really I just needed some air."
"Are you sure? You haven't seemed fine since the park. I know I have no idea what I'm talking about but if you wanna fill me in some time I'm always here if you need to talk. Hell if you need a sparring partner, as terrified as I am of you, I'll be willing to be your punching bag if you need it." He put a comforting hand on my shoulder, I would love nothing more to tell Jason everything but I know I couldn't.
I shrugged his hand off, immediately missing the warmth he brought me, "I'm fine Jason really, I just needed some air. And we both know that I would pummel you. Just go back to the party." I tried to make the last part sound as icy as I could.
"Okay Rey. I'm here if you need me." He said before jogging off. Oh how I needed him.
My dream changed, this time I was walking through the secluded paths of New Rome with my oldest friend Dakota. He was the only one I could trust not to tell anyone about what Venus and Jason told me. I didn't even trust Jason like I trusted Dakota, sure I trust Jason but I've known Dakota ever since our days as Legionnaires.
"Wow, just wow Ramirez, just wow." Dakota said as I finished telling him everything about Jason and Venus.
"My thoughts exactly."
"What are you going to do?" This is why I loved Dakota, he never asked me any questions or anything about what I told him. He just listened and believed me fully.
"That's why I've come to you. You see I have a a few different plans, well two full ones anyway and I need you to help me decide."
"Okay hit me."
"Well option number one is to pretend that I never heard Jason confess his love to me and hope he just meant it as a sisterly type of love even though we both know that that isn't true. And ya know pray that he never gets the courage to say it to my face."
"Okay so what's option number two?"
"I step down as soon as the war is over."
"WHAT!" Dakota exclaimed, stopping abruptly and almost spilling his Kool Aid everywhere. "You can't be serious."
"I am. Camp Jupiter will always be my home and I'm not leaving or anything I'm just stepping down as Praetor. I'll attend college in New Rome, maybe get my teaching degree, I think that would be cool. Travel the world, maybe even joining the Hunters of Diana."
"You can't just leave. You're the best Praetor New Rome has ever seen. Besides, it wouldn't be the same with you gone."
"I don't really want to leave. I love leading New Rome. I love being a Praetor but I don't know. Maybe it's time to start a new chapter in my life."
"Or, you can consider the alternative." Another thing I love about Dakota, he sees parts of plans that I haven't.
"And what's that?"
"Stay. You could stay in New Rome. You could tell Jason how you feel you two could live happily ever after and you can stay."
"You know I can't do that 'Kota"
"Why not?"
"Because you heard what Venus said. This can only end in heartbreak. It's easier this way."
"Easy as in make not only yourself miserable but Jason too?" I sighed and stopped walking. I stirred my spoon in my hot chocolate making ripples in the milk brown liquid. "Look, all I know is that you and Jason are meant to be. And no matter what happens you two can deal with it together. No matter what happens Jason will protect you and you will protect Jason. You'll have each other's backs no matter what. Jason won't let anything happen to you I promise." He put his hand on my shoulder and gave a soft, small, smile.
"I get what you're trying to say but there are just some things you can't fix, you can't prepare for. I'm sorry 'Kota, I'm resigning after the war. I've made up my mind."
"There's no chance of me changing your mind?"
"No. I'm sorry, you have been a great friend to me all these years. Love ya 'Kota"
"Love ya too Ramirez." He said pulling me into a hug. He then put his arm around my shoulders and started to walk back to my house. "Now enough with the mushy gushy stuff. If I only have you around for a couple more months. That means I only have a couple more months to beat the great Reyna Avila RamÃrez Arellano." at that he started to jog ahead of me.
"You're on." I yelled as I passed him easily.
My dream changed again, this time it was the morning after the gala. I woke up at 5am to the sun starting to peak through the window blinding me. It was strange because A. I never sleep in my bed. I always fall asleep either reading on my couch, doing paperwork on the couch, and or training. It was also strange because B. My curtains are always shut. That's when I turned around and came face to face with Jason. All the memories of last night come crashing back. What did I do. I quickly found the nearest clothes I could, I didn't even care if they were mine and rushed out of the house. I didn't stop running till I got back home and was safe in my own bathroom. That's when I realized that I had forgotten everything at Jason's house and had no way of getting them back. I couldn't risk going back to his house in case he was awake. I had even left my cape over there. So that also means that I can't go outside. I would never be caught dead walking around without my cape. It got harder and harder to breathe. My legs gave out and I slowly sank to the tile floor. The cold tile helped a bit but it wasn't enough. I couldn't think straight. I didn't know anything. I messed everything up. It's all my fault. I heard a knock at the door and shortly after Dakota came bursting in. "Rey! Hey, hey, look at me. Eyes forward and look at me. Breathe Ramirez breathe. Just like me. Just watch me. In, and out. See, in, and out." I could feel my breathing getting more steady and my heart rate start to normalize.
"Thanks Dakota"
"Anytime. I probably know the answer to this already but do you wanna talk about it?"
"For the first time, yeah." My answer must have shocked because he sat there frozen for a second before sitting next to me on the wall and putting a comforting arm around my shoulder.
"Whenever you're ready." And I told him everything that had happened the night before and this morning, sparing some detail of course. "I did not expect that. I have about a million questions but first things first. Are you okay?"
"Yeah I think."
"Okay let me know if I have to kill him I know he's a praetor and all but I'm not afraid of the law. The only thing I'm afraid of is sitting next to me."
"Hey!" I playfully punched his shoulder.
"I'm serious though if you're ever not okay or if he does something that makes you not okay, come to me. I'll handle it. "
"I know 'Kota" I rested my head on his shoulder. For a child of Bacchus he always seems to keep me at peace.
"Now this brings up another question, what are you gonna do about it? You can't just pretend that last night never happened. I know Jason he's gonna wanna talk to you about it. But I also know that he'll respect whatever you decide."
"I know. Well actually I don't know what I'll do but I do know that he'll respect my decision. But I do know a couple of things, A. That I need your help. And B. I can't talk to Jason, at least not today."
"Hey I'm here for whatever you need me to do. But you do need to talk to hm at one point."
"I know, Just not right now."
"Okay, what do you need me to do?"
"Well for one I left my cape at Jason's last night. Once he leaves I need you to sneak into his house and grab my stuff. I also need someone to make sure that Jason doesn't come by today. I'm at least 5 days ahead on all of my paperwork and I have full faith in him that he can run camp for at least a day or until I can figure out a plan to be able to look him in the eye. So I'm not leaving the house today, and maybe not tomorrow."
"Okay I'm down with all of that and I can help Jason pick up some of the slack, I've seen you do this job for gods knows how long I think I can manage. And I can get one of the legionaries to stand watch by your door no questions asked. It should be easy since they're all terrified of you and will do anything to get on your goodside. But the thing is, how exactly am I supposed to break into a pratoers house?"
"Oh that's the easy part. He keeps his key under his doormat. It also helps that his house is ridiculously clean so you can spot my stuff from a mile away."
"So it's the opposite of your house?"
"Hey!" I laughed and punched his arm, "It's not that bad!"
"Reyna." He said looking me in the eye that for some reason caused me to laugh.
"Okay it's bad!" I said doubling over in laughter.
"Alright I'll get started on the other stuff, but what I think will help you is training. Why don't you go change out of what are clearly Jason's clothes," He helped me up and that's when I noticed that yes indeed I was in one of Jason's old band shirts and sweatpants that were at least 3 sizes to big for me, "Go put on some of your actual sweats and I'll take care of the rest."
"Will do." I replied while chuckling. "Hey Dakota?" I started as he was almost out of the door, "Thank you. For everything. I don't know what I would do without you."
You'll never have to find out Ramirez." He smirked and left. Dakota was true to his word. When I got out of the shower I found Frank Zhang standing at my door. At last I could finally get some peace. I slipped on a pair of my own sweatpants and a sports bra and headed to my spare room which I had converted to my own personal gym/training room. I started punching the punching bag that was hanging in the middle of the room by a chain. For whatever reason fighting is what cleared my head. Not even sitting by my tree offered this type of clarity for me. Yet all I could think about was Jason and Dakota. Both had their points. I agree that I would be happy with Jason and it was definitely a possibility that we could grow old together and work through whatever challenges Venus has in store. But I also know that we have no idea what will happen especially since we're so close to war. It wouldn't be wise to start a relationship. But then again it wouldn't necessarily be the start of a relationship if you think about it. Jason and I have been more than friends for a while now, the only thing that would really change was that we would just put a label on it. I also know that that isn't true that's just my heart talking, my aching lonely heart. No! Reyna snap out of it! I can't do this, the cons out weight the pros. I started to punch my punching bag harder when a certain blonde haired blued man came in.
I started to fiddle with the necklace Jason had gotten me for our 4 month anniversary as I made my way to our tree for the picnic he had promised. When I got there he wasn't there, not event the picnic was set up, nothing. I waited 2 more hours there until I had enough and went to confront him. I couldn't believe he had forgotten our date. WhenI had reached the Praetors houses I noticed something was off. Jason's door was wide open. I grabbed my Javelin and crept slowly through the door looking for any signs of a break in, but there were none. Just like there was no trace of Jason in his entire house. Nothing. His house was always cleaner than mine. Even since we've been dating my place was always messier. I searched his entire house up and down. His kitchen was normal. He had the same exact kettle as I did on the stove, a bowl of fruit on the counter, and two leftover mugs of Hot cocoa from the morning before. His Living room was normal as well. There was still his stack of nice and neat latin books on the coffee table with a fresh bouquet of tulips. The throw blanket was still draped over the couch from where we had left in the morning before. One of his books was still open on the coffee table because I had fallen asleep on the couch as he read to me the other night. I went to his bedroom and made a pitstop to the bathroom. Normal, in fact the shower was dry indicating that he didn't even shower like he said he was going to. This whole situation screamed weird. When I got to the bedroom even that was normal, no sign of a struggle. His bed was perfectly made as always his curtains were open letting the sunlight in. On his left nightstand there was a picture of us at the fair after the war, I had the same picture on my nightstand as well. There was also a picture of me and Aurum and Argentum. And a picture of me reading at my desk while eating a slice of pizza. I never understood why he loved that picture so much. On his right the lamp was switched off, and there was a picture of us on his inauguration day, and a picture of him and all of his friends. The last place I checked was his spare room, he had converted that to a library. We would often come here after one of our picnics every Sunday and I let him read to me as I sharpened my knife or occasionally I would read to him and let him braid my hair. But even that was normal. There was no sign of Jason.
I was standing on the bridge that went over the little timber, basking in the moonlight. I could hear footsteps approaching which I quickly recognized as Percy. "What do you need Jackson?" I asked hoping he would go away. All I wanted was some space. Space from everything. I needed to think.
"Nothing I just thought you looked sad and you might wanna talk about it?" Ironically he was the only person I could talk about this with. Not even Dakota would understand.
"I guess you're right I am sad."
"It's about that Jason dude isn't it," I nodded my head yes. "From what I hear he seems like a really good guy."
"He was."
"You loved him didn't you." This was the first time I turned around and looked Percy in the eye. His eyes were nothing like Jason's, his were icy blue, which felt out of character for the nicest man you would ever meet. Percy's were a sea green type color. They changed with the tide.
"I did, still do."
"You're afraid he won't remember you aren't you?" I nodded my head yes.
"What you have to understand Percy Jackson is that I'm not the type to get scared."
He chuckled, "I think I got that"
"You remember your Annabeth don't you?"
"Yeah, now though. It took some time but I always had some idea of who she was, I knew she was someone important to me."
"Do you think that Jason remembers me?"
"If from the stories I hear about you two are true, and I assume they are, I don't see how he couldn't."
"Thank you Percy. This helped."
"I'm always here for you. I know we don't know that much about each other but I hope to fix that. I really do want to be your friend, someone you can trust."
"And I you Percy Jackson." I said sticking out my hand for him to shake. Instead he pulled me into a tight bear hug.
It was the day the Greeks were supposed to arrive. I was more nervous than I could remember. I got dressed in my formal toga and went to go meet Percy.
"Nervous?" He asked with his normal grin intact.
"How could you tell?" I wasn't that surprised that Percy could see that I was nervous. Over the past few weeks we've grown quite close, bonding over missing loved ones. But what I was more worried about is that everyone else would see it.
"Don't worry, Jason will definitely remember you. And if he doesn't, maybe a couple rounds to the head will knock some sense into him." He laughed, causing me to laugh too. I appreciated the way Percy always tried to cheer me up. Even if it didn't always work it at least put a smile on my face. Just then Dakota came running up to the building with a grin that spread across his entire face.
"They're here!" He exclaimed.
Percy turned to face me, "Ready?"
"Ready."
The entire way over there I could hear my heart beating in my ears. The thumping matching each stride I took. Each stride took me closer and closer to Jason, closer and closer to my other half, closer and closer to my heart. When we finally got there we were greeted by a giant war ship floating in the sky and three demigods descending from it. My heart beat was getting louder, he was so close, I could almost feel him. I saw his crystal blue icy eyes gleaming in the sunlight. All I wanted to do was run to him, but then my heart stopped. He was holding hands with another girl. Everyone's eyes turned towards me, they knew. Everyone was dead silent. The only thing that broke the tension was the blonde haired girl who I assume to be Annabeth judo flipping Percy. As soon as that was over everyone's eyes returned to me. I could see the pity in their eyes. Percy finally realized what everyone was staring at and looked at me with so much sadness in pity I wanted to crawl into a ball. He mouthed I'm sorry and I looked at Dakota not wanting to see Percy so happy when I felt my heart breaking on the inside. I knew this would happen. I knew it, I knew it, I KNEW IT! I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to run and hide. But instead I looked at Dakota for once, relying on someone else for strength. He mouthed, you got this. I collected myself and let my normal aura overtake my heartbreak. I was the picture of strength. "Welcome demigods."
All through the feast I kept on looking over at Jason, hoping to see a flicker of recollection in his eyes that once looked at me lovingly. I could still feel everyone looking at me, as if taking turns staring at their heartbroken leader, wondering if I was going to break, gonna snap. I made eye contact with Percy and his eyes were still full of pity and sympathy. That was my breaking point. I quickly excused myself and almost ran to our tree, to my tree. I let a few tears slip out. Now in the quiet I could hear my heart shattering. I knew something like this was going to happen. I knew it yet I went along with it anyway. How could I be so stupid. Was it worth it for a couple months of happiness? Was the heartbreak and pain worth it? For once I wasn't sure. I knew I wouldn't trade my months with Jason for anything. But this grief, pain was killing me. I wanted to sob, to scream, to make him remember me. But his eyes kept flickering in my head. I heard footsteps approaching and heavy breathing, I knew at once it was Jason. It could be years but I would always know that idiot's footsteps. When he asked me if I knew him, if he and I were a thing all my hope disappeared. He didn't remember me, there was maybe a 10% chance that maybe one day he would remember me, us, his friends, his old life. His old life. I had a choice to make, I could take a chance and tell the truth, hope that maybe he could remember me, but that was just a chance. There was no guarantee that he would remember. I could be causing more harm than good. I would be breaking up him and that girl Piper. And if it didn't work I would be leaving three broken hearts instead of one. But there was also a chance that he might remember and we could be happy. But that was only a chance. Or I could lie and say that there was nothing between us. That we were just colleagues even though we were so much more. I knew that I would never love someone like I loved Jason, I would be dooming myself to eternal heartbreak and loneliness. But he would be happy, and if you truly love someone doesn't that mean letting them go sometimes? So I lied. As soon as he was out of earshot I broke downI sobbed and sobbed muffling my screams with my arm. Percy and Dakota came running with Annabeth trailing behind. Both of the boys scooped me up in a hug. "I. am. So, so, so sorry Rey." Dakota said. I could feel a few tears dampening the back of my shirt. He was his friend too.
"I know Rey." Percy tried to comfort me, but instead it only made me angry.
"No you don't! You don't know! Yours came back! You get your happily ever after! Mine doesn't even remember me! I just had to let the love of my life go!" I fell to my knees sobbing once more.
This time Annabeth stepped forward. "I don't know what it's like having the love of your life not remember you. But I do know what it was like living with the fear of him not for months. I am so sorry this happened to you." I could tell this girl was brave because she put her hand on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry." I croaked out before continuing to cry. I stood up and hugged Dakota.
"I'm sorry 'Kota, he was your friend too." He hugged me back just as fiercely, I felt as if my ribs would crack. But I hugged him right back. We were both sobbing messes. Grieving for the loss of a friend who wasn't truly dead. But gone all the same. Me and Dakota hobbled back to my house, arms around each other. Tears streaming down our faces. But everyone we passed had tears in their eyes too. The entire city was grieving the loss of their hero. Everyone bowed their heads in a sign of respect, knowing what I lost, what we all lost.
The rest of the day me and Dakota stayed at my house. We laid in bed eating ice cream and reminiscing about old stories of Jason. I tried my best to keep my distance for him the following days before the seven left. I only talked to him if I had to, but me and Annabeth became closer during the following days as well.
Fast forward about a year. The battle was over, Jason's body was returned and had been cremated. And Dakota was dead. The pain of losing Jason almost killed me the first time, but Dakota was there to help me through it. When we heard that Jason died and his body was returned to camp it almost killed me. But two nights ago me and Dakota stayed up all night eating ice cream and reminiscing just as we did when we first lost him. But now he was gone too. I couldn't take it. I couldn't do it anymore. Not without him. He was the one who kept me going before Jason, during Jason, and after. Now he was gone and I couldn't take it. There was nothing tying me to this place anymore. It's time for a new adventure. I'm going to join the hunters of Diana and leave this place behind. I couldn't take it anymore. Everywhere I looked I was reminded of past memories. There was too much history, and in every history there was always pain. After the battle once I got back to my house I tore up everything and anything in sight. I smashed my coffee table to splinters, I punched my tea kettle, I used my javelin to slash my couch and my bare fists to tear my pillow apart. I ran to my spare room and started punching my punching bag refusing to let up. I punched and punched till my knuckles were raw with blood. Even then I didn't stop. The tears fused with my sweat until I couldn't realize which was which. During all of this I was sobbing and screaming, yelling and pleading with the gods. Hoping in vain that they would do something. The pain from my fists blended in unison with the pain from my heart. I only stopped punching when the chain from my punching bag snapped. Then it all sunk in, I hadn't slept in four days, since Apollo came and announced that Jason was dead. Even before that I didn't sleep much. I always wake up with nightmares and Jason isn't there to lure me back to sleep. I haven't eaten in gods knows when. I was a wreck. I sank down on my knees and started to sob again. I heard someone open the door. If it was an enemy I didn't have the energy to fight them off. I hoped that they would finish me off, put me out of my misery. Instead it was Jason. Just when I thought that the gods couldn't get any crueler. He already plagued my dreams making it so that I couldn't sleep but now I was hallucinating him too! I couldn't do this not anymore. I let hallucination Jason lure me to sleep, I couldn't resist the exhaustion anymore. As soon as I started to hallucinate I knew I was defeated. I couldn't battle the grief anymore, the pain, the sadness. I let myself fall asleep in pretend Jason's arms, it was so life-like I thought he was actually here.