'The Happy Unmarried'
Disclaimer: Ken Akamatsu wrote 'Love Hina' and he owns the rights. This tale written for fun, and I seek no re-dress from it.
Writer's notes: Some of the scene in this story might echo ones of another farce I am working on. If so, it might be intentional.
Enjoy, as we take a bizarre turn.
-Chapter 2-
Later that same evening in the onsen…
We start with the never wife.
Seated on a stool out in the totally refurbished wash area, was the newly-established never wife. She still had difficulty with the fact that she drank too much and had all that sex. The latter she enjoyed immensely, as she and her now never husband pretty-much had engaged in a lot of it.
"I'm too horny as it is," quipped the still partially hungover Naru as she ran shampoo through her long luxurious hair. If she was not too weary after passing out and having slept it off, she would have fucked him silly once again.
That was after Naru had somehow made it up to the bedroom that she usually shared with her never husband. Naru wondered how she was able to get upstairs in one piece in the first place. Then to top it all off, how she was able to strip and crawl into bed without assistance.
She never realized the half of it, as she missed some telltale rope marks and was a bit sticky between her legs.
However, when Naru finally dragged her gorgeous ass out of bed and into the private bathroom that her never husband had installed, she drove the 'porcelain taxi' like she stole it and made her supplications to the gods of the commode. With that, she felt as if most of Tokyo Bay came out her bladder and was thankful that the room had actually stopped spinning.
Unlike Keitaro who had taken a shower and then went to the kitchen to cook for himself; she wanted to wash herself, soak in the onsen and then have another shot of whiskey to soothe away her hangover. She just quickly gargled some mouthwash as she had to deal with her friends, and had expected them to be extreme nasty with her after having have mentioned a certain attribute of her now never-husband.
A giggle.
Knowing where her never husband was, she smiled and said, "It's time for the real fun to begin."
Without going upstairs through the circular stairway nearby, she just found one of Keitaro's old tee shirts, threw it on, stepped into her slippers and went downstairs.
"I'll put something on to pop his eyeballs out after a soak," whispered Naru with a leer when she reached the bottom of the main stairwell.
Even with all of the changes and new facilities around the old Hinata Ryokan, the never wife still loved the outdoor onsen the best.
However, the onsen did not escape Keitaro's upgrades when he had the place rebuilt. He also used it whenever he wanted as there were no objections, as the others would come in all barely clad or deliberately naked. That is why bathing suits back then were not optional according to the never wife.
'Oh, the changes that will come,' she thought as the queue had probably already formed.
Their situation was about to change drastically from what it had been.
As she was already on a stool and prepping to wash away a very fun, but mostly hazy time with the man she loved, the traditional door slid open. Led by Kitsune, the rest of the residents marched out onto the traditional deck for their own evening's soak.
"The fun is about to begin," whispered Naru as she had put her long hair up out of the way and wrapped a small towel around it.
All had gathered around the seated never wife for a moment.
"Did you hear the wind whistling out here, Kana-chan?" asked Kitsune with a huge smile on her face.
Ever willing to exchange witticisms, sarcasm, insults or just be plain rude with the others, Naru replied, "At least mine is real and not made from plastic."
Both Kitsune and Mutsumi smiled at her retort. Kanako laughed as the other giggled, except for…
"Fuck off, stupid cunt," cut in Shinobu with a sharp rejoinder. No longer a shy little girl, her tongue now was much sharper than the ashen-haired Fox.
"Didn't get any today?" countered Naru with a giggle. However, she knew better than to ask that.
The petite chef mockingly seethed as she has wanted to fuck Keitaro for a long time. So have all the others.
"By what you and Keitaro had told us this morning, Oba," quipped Sarah as she sat next to Naru, "It seems that you had had enough for all of us." (Oba is Sarah's nickname for Naru; it means = 'old lady' in this case)
"I'm really fucking pissed at you for dropping a bomb on us about the size of Senpai's cock and then letting it just hang there," growled Shinobu as she took a seat while Ema began to wash her.
"That is so going to hurt," commented Ema as she washed her girlfriend's back.
"More than a dildo would," replied Mutsumi to the surprise of the others.
Ten women then nodded, as a few had their pussy's quiver with anticipation.
"Not me, however," chimed in Mei, "Keitaro-nii will just be stretching me out a little."
She then received stares from the others present, including her older sister.
"Fucking slut," said Sarah who laughed quite hard, "You'd fuck anything that moved."
"Guilty as charged," replied Mei who winked back and blew her a kiss.
"Not a fucking chance, bitch," said the blonde American as she also gave her the finger.
It did not matter to Mei, who yawned at the gesture.
"Break up with your latest boyfriend, or something like that, Mei-chan," alleged the never wife as a non-question, "Was that number three or four this month?" The last query came with a knowing laugh.
"Don't you mean this week, Naru-nee," chipped in Kanako and blew her own kiss at the younger never sister-in-law's sister.
"He just couldn't take it," she replied while looking at her sister with a smirk, "Especially when I would turn the vibrators on and/or light the candles."
"You really are a rough cunt," Kitsune said being that she was a bit of a masochist as well. She smiled.
"I would rather have Onii-chan's cock," said Kanako as incest would never bother her. She wanted to find out what he thought about it first.
"Wait until he takes you up the ass," chirped in Naru having not quite finished with her jabs, "It will give you a whole new perspective on life."
When the others heard her say that, some sphincters actually quivered. Motoko and Sarah's especially. Nyamo, always the quietest of the residents, only smiled.
"He can have my ass anytime," grumbled Sarah as she rinsed herself off.
"Or, my pussy," added Ema who giggled.
Giggling at the youngest two, everyone finally made it into the spa. Kitsune sat with Kanako, Mutsumi with Motoko, Shinobu with Ema, and Kaolla with Nyamo were all on one side. On the other side was the trio of Naru, with Sarah on her right and Mei on her left.
No one saw the brunette or blonde touch each other's fingers under the water. Both smiled and looked straight ahead, as they still could not admit that they liked each other.
From there, the conversation descended into the sewer.
However, Mutsumi went the 'OMG' route, when she responded with, "That might be fun, and a bit different too."
All eyes focused on her as no expected her to be a pervert.
"Up the ass, huh?" queried Shinobu who relished the fact that the man she loved possessed such a weapon.
Blushing, Motoko stayed silent as she visualized him taking her back there.
A giggle from the brunette, which was not the response the older woman had expected. She basically laughed at Motoko and Shinobu as both had an expression on their face which screamed, "Fuck me harder!"
"It would not bother me if he had sex with women other than me," said Naru in full guffaw mode.
"Is that permission or sarcasm, Na-chan?" Kitsune teased as she opened her eyes wide in surprise. Next to her, Kanako 'chomped at the bit'. Though she sputtered, the Fox laughed very hard at brunette's wit.
"Like I said Naru, you are a stupid cunt," cut in Shinobu with a sharp rejoinder, "But if he wants me, I am his."
Motoko looked at the brunette and said, "Uh-oh." The petite chef was a bit extra belligerent right now.
"He'd split you in half, Shinobu-chan," refuted Naru who giggled in return.
"Better watch your own ass, bitch," growled a fiery Shinobu whose love for Keitaro was well-known and very intense. He meant everything to her, which made her extra happy that he was never legally married.
Laughter from around the spa.
Even though Shinobu snarled at Naru a lot, the two were actually very close friends. But the news new of her never husband's enormous phallus had stuck in her craw.
Now that the air had all cleared…
"When did we all grow such large tits?" asked Kanako who attempted to take the conversation elsewhere. She then reached over and cupped Kitsune's large treasures.
GROAN!
Everyone looked down at their own floating boobs and smiled. They also looked at their housemates' boobs and nodded.
Four of them were extremely top heavy.
Guess who?
"Well, it must be this onsen, and the fact that we like to play with each other's boobs," commented Shinobu who reached around and fondled Ema's enormous stack.
"At least I know where all of her fat is," teased Kitsune who smiled at the extremely slender conspiracy theorist.
"And she's leaking too," said Sarah who tried not to laugh at her best friend.
After Shinobu and Ema got out of the spa, Kitsune asked her girlfriend, "What about you, Kana-chan?" The Fox returned the favor.
She promptly moaned, and acerbically replied, "I wish."
It became very quiet as everyone could here Ema's pleasured moans from over in the changing area.
"Well, Sarah-chan," cooed Mei as she leaned across her sister and fondled the blonde's tits, "Do you need milking as well?"
Moaning, Sarah moaned and said, "Mei-chan, I don't like girls that way."
"Too bad," whispered Mei.
Between them, Naru giggled as she gently squeezed Sarah's hand.
All the other residents have conspired to fix the two up since they were the only declared straight women at the Hinata.
A sarcastic comment for sure was about to come, until…
"I am taking bets on whose virginity Keitaro takes first," announced Kitsune without preamble.
Her girlfriend looked at her and laughed.
"Pussy or ass," said Mei as went along with the joke. Her virginity was long since gone.
As Shinobu and Ema rejoined the group, all eyes turned to the petite chef.
"What?" asked Shinobu.
"Gomen'nasai! The betting window has just closed," said the ash-blonde who knew that that gamble would be a lost cause, "SHIT." She knew who everyone would bet on, and that it would have cost her dearly.
Kanako then sarcastically comforted her girlfriend with a condescending pat on the arm.
The non-verbal reply could have frozen the water out here.
When Kaolla told her best friend why everyone had looked at her, Shinobu smiled.
-Now with the never husband-
The never husband sat his large office and went over some documents that Kanako had given to him for his approval. That was only after he had deleted all of the sex toy programs out of his 3d printer once again.
"Be cheaper if Kaolla-chan bought her dildos from a store or online," he grumbled, then louder he added, "She has three of her own printers, so why does she always want to use mine."
He took another slug of the strong coffee he had brewed from the maker on the edge of his work bench near a side window that faced the rear of his home.
Having signed where he needed to, Keitaro closed the folder they came in and set it aside. He stood up from his chair, stretched and turned to look out the main large picture window.
"I wonder," was all he said and became very thoughtful right then.
After his supposed marriage…
Since there was never any rivalry or jealousy between the siblings, Kanako went to work for Keitaro as his assistant.
When Kanako became a permanent resident of the Hinata to be with her beloved older brother, at his behest she did a thorough audit of the files and financial records that Granny Hina had left behind. Having done so in a quick and judicious manner, she then wanted to digitize everything up to twenty-first century standards. That was when she truly utilized her eidetic memory to get the requested task accomplished.
Although adopted, Kanako was always the smarter one of the two siblings. She had tested out early from high school and had entered Toudai at a younger than normal age. She also received her degree in business, and was afterwards accepted into graduate school where she now worked toward her equivalent of a Japanese MBA.
Down in the old office next to the foyer by the front door, she began her work.
"Why did Granny always keep such terrible records of everything she owned," Kanako whispered while she went through an older pile of receipts. She saw that her grandmother had kept terrible records of everything that was here at the Hinata too.
But that was not all, one night as Kanako went through a pile of hardbound ledgers and accordion folders that sat behind an old filing cabinet in the back of the old office, she stumbled upon quite a number of property deeds. Before she went to Keitaro and showed him this discovery, Kanako made some calls and did a few inquiries online.
"Whoa," she said after her last examination into the results from six Prefectures, "the titles and deeds are all still legal." Even though the files were mostly digitized now, it still took a few days for her to complete this latest task.
The monetary figures alone staggered Kanako, as she could not even conceive of the amount of money that her beloved brother was now worth.
'Good thing Onii-chan filed his ownership of the Hinata with the Prefecture, or he would have nothing,' she thought and hit the save tab on her desktop. When she ejected the media cord from her one Terabyte expansion drive, she held it and smiled.
Knowing that Haruka also had a business degree, Kanako invited her over a few days later where they perused the figures together.
After Haruka had read Kanako's findings, she held her belly bump and said, "motherfucker," before being able to breathe again.
As she looked at her, Kanako just nodded in silence.
"Whoa," said Haruka when she had regained her wits, "I think you'd better show this to Keitaro, and quickly."
Another nod as a look of trepidation struck Kanako, who then said, "no time like the present."
While the younger sibling made a hardcopy presentation for her beloved brother, Haruka got it into her to smile as she commented, "I have to stay and see his reaction." She called her husband and told him not to expect her until later in the evening.
Kanako and Haruka had difficulty trying not to laugh as they went upstairs.
The two knocked and Naru allowed them in.
Without any preamble or even a simple explanation, Kanako handed a stapled multi-page booklet to her brother.
He read it and his eyes went wide.
Kanako stood there nervously.
Haruka had a big shit-eating grin on her face.
When Keitaro passed out, he nearly fell on top of Naru. But she did not send him on a flight across the Prefecture.
'That was fucking embarrassing,' thought Keitaro as he took another slug.
"What?" screeched Naru as the man she loved had collapsed on top of her.
Having picked up the presentation, Kanako handed it to Naru after she had rolled Keitaro off her.
After she opened the first page and read the text, Naru's lower lip began to tremble when she flipped through the next few pages. Finished, she set it back on the Kotatsu, and looked at the unconscious Keitaro. A huge smirk crossed her face, as she remarked, "When you wake up, sweetie. I am going to fuck your brains out."
Later the same week, there was a huge party that celebrated Keitaro's new wealth.
Back in his office after he had poured himself another mug of strong coffee, Keitaro smiled and muttered, "Shocked the fuck out of Naru-chan when she found out that night how much stamina I had in bed that night. Kept everyone awake too and nothing could wipe the huge smile off her face the next morning. Although, we did receive 'the finger' and evil looks when we came down for breakfast."
The Hinata had its old Ryokan façade stripped away by a construction company that he had hired through a contractor with the help of Kanako and Haruka.
But that was only where it began…
Also, Keitaro had a road constructed to the back of the Hinata, along with a paved parking lot and large enclosed multi-car garage. No more climbing up the damnable front steps, if you did not want to.
Furthermore, the list included (and only barely touched upon here): Turning the old, partially collapsed Annex A into executive offices with large suites on both sides of the hallway; conversion of the Noh theater into a large pool/bar/workout facility with an attached locker room and large balcony along the whole rear exterior of the Hinata (made both Kitsune and Motoko happy); gutted out the old banquet halls and installed a large kitchen/dining room (which made Shinobu happy); opened and modernized unused rooms in both wings of the Hinata, which included: new laundry room with modern appliances, a family room with a huge wall-mounted TV and large anime collection (Hentai added too, courtesy of Kitsune); the Old Annex B had also been demolished, in its place was a new house if he and Naru ever wanted to be alone; and lastly, the Tea Shoppe had a new structure built as Keitaro had the old one torn down and replaced for Kitsune (at the behest of Kanako).
When the residents finally returned home after having stayed elsewhere for fifteen months, the Hinata looked totally different than it did before all the changes.
Everyone settled in to their newly refurbished home and immediately took advantage of the new facilities, as well as each other.
-A fun ending-
Thankful to finally be rid of Kaolla's naughty programs that had plagued his 3d printer, Keitaro turned it on to check a new download before he returned to his desk.
At that moment, he caught sight of a glorious vision which had sauntered in and stood at the end of the large conference table. Clad only in a sheer pink night slip and platforms; the sexy never wife bent over some, grabbed the edge of the conference table and stuck her gorgeous uncovered ass back while spreading her legs a little.
Fully recovered from her hangover, and in a very slutty mood, the never wife asked, "Where do you want me, Kei-kun? And how?
As previously stated, Naru had always enjoyed sex with her now never husband. Now, with her anger gone, it would be fun again.
Nearly drooling and receiving a giggle for that, he got up and came around his desk.
"Right there should do it."
A few seconds later, there was an ear-shattering scream from the never wife.
Very late evening…
As Keitaro ran a mop bucket to clean up from their tryst, he said, "Good thing I don't have any carpeting there." The area around the conference table was wood, so it made things easier to mop up. The mop sink was in a small utility closet off the main bathroom that he had installed in his office.
"Starting tomorrow, Kei-kun. You will have ten ravenous and very horny women after what you just gave me, stud," commented a good-humored Naru who, after the last afterglow, had sat on the commode to both drain and pee, "Good thing this has a front and rear bidet. You packed me with just as much as at our condo." To prove her point, Naru opened her legs wide, took two fingers to spread her pussy lips, smiled at him, then peed and drained.
"Have any idea about who will be first?" he asked and wiped off the conference table. There was a bit of fluid on the edge which they had produced along the way. About the girls, all of them had become extremely aggressive towards him lately, especially Shinobu and Motoko.
Standing up, a naked Naru doffed her platforms and walked into the adjacent room. She then stepped into his large shower.
"My money would be on our resident petite chef," opined Naru as she waited for the never husband to join her, "However, Motoko-chan would probably just rape you at the first opportunity she had."
Keitaro did not smile as he knew how strong the demon-slayer was, and that also had openly declared her love for him.
She giggled at his non-response.
With his paperwork completed, Keitaro left the printer on auto, stripped and then joined the never wife in the shower.
The water came on and our never marrieds washed each other off in silence. Both were too tired and too worn out as the day had finally caught up to them.
In his huge bed together for the first time in weeks, Naru kissed the face of her already sleeping never husband.
She whispered, "Good night, sweetie. I love you, and good luck tomorrow morning. You're going to need it," and then snuggled in.
The Hinata was quiet, but that was all.
-End of chapter-