A/N: This was a very hard chapter for me to write. Not because of the content, but because the chapter drove itself. (Those of you who write will know what that means.)
I knew where I wanted this chapter to go, it just refused to cooperate.
A bad thing? Not always. In this case, while I ended up with a better chapter that works well into the over all story, the chapter is not as well written as I would have liked. So bear with me.
It also turned out to be a multi-chapter setup. It was suppose to be only one chapter.
Chapter 22 - LET'S TALK ABOUT IT
Laying in bed several nights after the vote, Melanie still couldn't believe the way things had turned out.
The night of the vote, Ruth had actually sided with Layton! And because of her support, had swung most of the governing body of First Class over to their side. And not just First Class, but many of those in Second and Third had also looked to her for how she would vote before casting their own votes.
Slowly she rolled over just enough to glance over her shoulder at the other side of the bed.
Everything was still neatly made and in place, sans one pillow.
He still hadn't come back.
As she felt the tears brimming up again, Melanie sighed quietly as she rolled back over to face the wall. Hugging his pillow tighter under her head, she closed her eyes against them, trying to will herself to sleep.
She thought back to Ruth's visit just a few days before. She had been totally surprised to hear a woman's voice calling her name in the engine just days after the vote. But she was even more surprised to look up and see her one time friend standing there looking like she wanted to be almost anywhere else in the world. Even if it was standing on a frozen peak somewhere.
Melanie simply stood there for several moments, unable to think of a single thing to say to the woman.
"I suppose you're a bit surprised to see me here." Ruth finally said, standing there in her teal uniform that looked like it had just come off the ironing board a few moments before.
Melanie carefully looked past her, but Ruth seemed to read her mind.
"There's no one else." She answered Melanie's silent inquiry. "I wanted it to be...'just us girls', as they say."
Melanie quickly turned back to the circuit board she had been working on. All she wanted was for the woman to leave, so she didn't give her any encouragement to stay. It wasn't that she wasn't appreciative for Ruth's support in the vote, but that was about as far as her 'appreciation' went.
Ruth took another step towards her. "I know I'm the last person you want to see or talk to." She stated. "But I would like for us to talk, Melanie."
Melanie tried to keep her tone civil as she kept her sights focused on her work. Layton was right about one thing. They needed Ruth on their side. So there was no point in directly alienating her. "About what?"
Ruth paused as she turned to the floor. "Melanie, I know you won't believe me, but I am sorry for what happened. But you have to understand it wasn't all my doing."
"Sorry?" Melanie replied, trying to keep the anger from coming up in her voice. But she was sometimes very bad at controlling her emotions. "Sorry for what, Ruth? Sorry for nearly getting me killed...again?"
"Yes." Her former friend answered. "The first time I was following the order of the train, Melanie. A jury convicted you, not me. But in my position, the duties of carrying out that sentence fell to me. What would you have had me do? Fight the whole train to try and save you? And the second time, again, what would you have had me do?"
"Layton fought them." Melanie replied, firmly standing up for the man and his actions on her behalf. "He fought them to save me. And he won."
"He fought with several cars full of supporters behind him. I didn't have that luxury." Ruth stood for a moment, seeming to gather back her composure. "I'm sorry I couldn't have done more." She finally stated. "I tried to stop them. But I suppose you wouldn't have known that. You only saw what you saw."
Melanie fixed a hard stare on the woman. "What I saw?" She stated. "What I SAW, Ruth, was YOU preparing to execute me. YOU reading a list of my...crimes...against the train and the passengers. YOU standing there arguing with Layton about why I deserved what I was getting. THAT is what I SAW, Ruth!"
"And all of that is true." The woman replied. "I won't try to deny it. But what you didn't see was what went on before. I tried to argue with them for incarceration, Melanie. I truly did. But they didn't listen. I...I knew how Mr. Layton felt about the whole matter. I knew he wasn't going to just let this happen. But I figured...what he needed was time. And so I tried to give him what I could. First Class wanted an immediate execution that night, and they wanted it done quickly so no one would stop them. Ask your Mr. Knox who told him about their plan. I knew if I told him he would get something done to stop it. I tried to stall things by making them wait until the regularly appointed time. That gave Layton one whole night to try and do something. I tried to help him as best I could without..." But Ruth stopped suddenly under Melanie's inquisitive stare.
"Without 'what', Ruth?" She asked in a slow, quiet tone as she faced the other woman down. "Without losing face in front of First Class?"
Ruth stood for a moment, but then gave a quick nod. "All right, yes. Without losing my position with First Class. If Mr. Layton couldn't stop them, and they did manage to...to go through with their plan, I knew he would need someone in First Class to look out after his interests and those of the train. Without you, there was a good chance First Class could pressure the rest of the council to turn against Mr. Layton. It would be the old ways all over again because THAT is what most of First Class wants."
"Without me?" Melanie questioned. "Since when does the council care less about me, whose side I'm on, or if I'm sitting in my council seat?"
"They care a lot, Melanie. Didn't you pay any attention at the vote the other night?"
"Yes, I did. And I saw a lot more hands down then up."
"Because they were watching. To see which way the council leaned. A lot of them DID support you. They still do. But to show it if the rest of the council wasn't going to favor you in that vote was political suicide for them."
"So basically, what you're saying, is that the council is stacked with a bunch of people who are just going to go whichever way the wind blows?" Melanie asked, her tone obviously voicing her dislike of that analysis.
"No. I'm saying the council right now is a bunch of people placed in a room together who don't know who's on who's side. Many of them are still waiting to see how this plays out. But more of them every day are lining up behind Mr. Layton."
Melanie turned back to her work. "It still sounds like a train divided to me."
"It will always be that, Melanie." Ruth told her. "It's the very nature of people. But they have shown they can all come together for a cause. And when it's for the good of the train, they are willing to put their feelings aside and do what is right."
"Well, I suppose it's always good to know who your friends are."
Melanie replied with a mirthless smile as she turned and set a firm stare on the woman in front of her.
"And who are you counting among your friends these days?" Ruth asked with a deep frown. "You're Mr. Layton?"
"Layton has ALWAYS stood up for me." Melanie replied, immediately rallying in defense of the man. "He has defended me time and time again against anyone on this train who sought to harm me."
Melanie didn't like how fast Ruth stepped up to that challenge.
"Oh, yes. He's defended you." Ruth replied. "But have you ever asked yourself 'Why?'?"
Melanie gave her a confused look. "What is that suppose to mean? 'Why'."
"You've known me for years, Melanie. And yet you are so quick to judge me for my actions. Never once assuming I ever acted on your behalf. But a man you have known for a matter of months...you are willing to take his word without question. Anything he tells you."
"Layton would never lie to me." Melanie replied, her voice a low, controlled roll of hatred. "We support and protect each other. He would NEVER hurt me."
"Really? So that talk your Mr. Layton and I had a short bit ago about why we couldn't allow your execution to go forward...that was just for my benefit?"
"Talk?"
"Yes. Mr. Layton was adamant that I sway First Class over to his way of thinking on the matter. Stating how badly the train needs you. And I must admit, though I didn't think so at the time, Mr. Layton was right. The train does still need you. If we're going to survive this, every person on this train may one day find themselves depending on you to be able to make some repair, to fix some...some component, to be able to maybe one day even find us all a way off this train. And so we have to keep you alive. For the good of the train."
The confused look Melanie gave her quickly changed to one of utter denial. "Layton...Layton would never say that."
Ruth returned her look. "Well..., not those exact words. But something to that effect."
"When?"
"When he first came to see me."
"Before the vote." Melanie reasoned.
But Ruth quickly shook her head. "Oh no. This was...much earlier." She thought back. "Back when he first took over the train. I spoke to him about my...misgivings about how things were going. And yes, I mentioned to him then about what I had heard in First Class. About their plans to carry out your sentence. And he was quite adamant that I keep them in line. He said that we simply couldn't let your punishment go forward. He didn't disagree with First Class. He just said now was not the time."
"Now was not the time?" Melanie echoed.
Ruth gave her a curt nod. "He said when things calmed down, then we would decide what needed to be done. When he was satisfied the train could get along without you finally."
Melanie stared back at the woman in utter confusion, but then shoved her bodily out of her way as she ran from the engine room.
Melanie was back in the room for what to her seemed like hours before Layton came back that night. Most of the time she spent pacing. She swore if he had been there for whatever that time frame encompassed, she was sure it would have been the fight to end all fights between them.
How could he!?
He had lied to her. Had been lying to her for months.
Yet she had trusted him.
Let him into her cabin.
Into her bed.
She had slept next to him nearly every night since without the slightest fear of betrayal of that trust that he would never hurt her.
But while she tried to keep watch for the little betrayals, she had missed the biggest one of all. And through it, he was lying to her about everything.
For a while she continued to pace. For anyone watching it would have looked very much like a tiger in a cage that was far too small for it to adequately release all of its pent up energy.
But the pacing did exactly what she needed it to do. Past giving her time to think, it did dispel some of the anger she had built up as she made her way from the engine room to their cabin.
Their cabin.
She mulled over the statement as she finally allowed herself to collapse on the sofa. She looked around the room. How many nights had they sat in that room? Either at the table or on the sofa and just talked. Or played that silly game he taught her. 'Secrets'.
Although it was just a game, he had told her it was also a way to build trust between them. To tell each other something about themselves they would never tell another person, and trust that the faith in other not to repeat it wouldn't be broken.
And she had trusted him. Felt they were building a solid, trusting relationship between them.
She had fallen for it all.
She was actually proud of how far they had come. Believing that in that trusting relationship they would one day come to be able to guide the train together. Slowly she had allowed her suspicion and anger about him to eventually start to turn to trust and even more slowly to a type of friendship. She had actually started to trust him. To believe in him. In them.
Slowly her gaze turned to the closet by the front door. The door was closed, but she knew what was hidden there. She could have found it without a single light on within a matter of seconds. In her darker hours, when she wasn't sure if she should trust him, or help him, or listen to his words about caring about her, and about how she felt, and if she was happy, she would go to that closet and pull the picture out and look at it again.
It was like a tonic for her. It reminded her of where they had been and how far they had come. Of what was possible if they just learned to trust and depend on each other.
A small smile worked its way across her lips until an even smaller laugh escaped them.
Trust. That was what it all came down to, she told herself as a tear brimmed up in one eye and eventually spilled over as it rolled down her cheek.
And she had believed him. Oh, she had been a fool for it, and she would have to pay the price for that foolish mistake. For dropping her guard. For allowing him in. For letting him get that close. She would have to pay whatever price was demanded for being that stupid.
Pulling her knees up in front of her on the sofa as she laid her arms over them, she buried her face in them and let the tears flow more freely.
And that was how Layton found her when he returned to the cabin a bit later. Curled up around herself on the sofa, crying.
Whatever else was on his mind, whatever other plans he had for the evening instantly vanished at that sight.
Without even knowing or caring about the reason, he threw whatever he was carrying on the table and ran over the sofa, crouching in front of her as he tried to pull herself out of that tight cocoon she had wrapped herself up in.
"Hey." He gently coaxed her. Even as the panic was rising up in him, he still tried to get her to pull out of that ball and look at him. "Melanie..., Melanie..., what's wrong. Talk to me. Tell me what's happened?"
The reaction he got from her was the last one he expected. Rather than slowly calm down, or allow him to wrap his arms around her, or offer her any sort of comfort whatsoever, Melanie suddenly bolted out of that safe shell she was in and railed at him, beating him back as she screamed at him to get away from her.
Feeling like he was suddenly facing a crazed, if not extremely violent, roommate, Layton landed on the carpet and immediately pulled away from her, giving her and himself as much room as he could until he could figure out what was wrong.
"YOU!" She shouted at him, pointing an accusing finger at him. "YOU BASTARD!"
A pillow from the sofa immediately hit him in the face.
Grabbing it for a shield from any further assault, Layton got to his feet as fast as he could and immediately put a good deal of distance between them.
While it was true they had had their share of fights, he had never seen her this angry even once. And while he was no expert on women by any means, he had enough experience to know that when whatever you did was bad enough to make them cry, you had done something very bad indeed.
"Melanie! Wait! Just listen to me..."
"NO!" She screamed at him. "I have listened to enough of your lies."
Still holding his shield in front of him, Layton did what he did best. He was a detective. It was time to gather facts.
"Lies?" He asked her. "What lies?"
"I TRUSTED you! I BELIEVED in you!" She all but screamed at him. "And it was all LIES!"
"Melanie, what lies? I have never knowing lied to you. That was the whole purpose of...of us. We don't lie to each other."
"Bastard!" She yelled at him again. "You can't even stop now. You're still lying."
Layton took a deep breath. He knew he could overpower her. Maybe not easily, but he had height on his side. And more than anything he want to simply grab her by the shoulders and hold her still until she told him what he wanted to know. But more than that, he didn't want to force her. Whatever this was about, he wanted her to get there in her own time and in her own way.
"Can you at least tell me one thing I've lied to you about?" He asked.
"EVERYTHING!"
Well, that was a help, he silently told himself in exasperation.
"Can we narrow it down a little more?"
To his surprise, the woman in front of him suddenly stopped in her assault and actually seemed to be considering his request.
"What...what you told Ruth." She finally replied in a breathless whisper. "That was the ONLY thing you HAVEN'T lied about."
Layton gave her a perplexed look. "What I told Ruth? Melanie, I hardly talk to Ruth."
"You did. Months ago. She came to the engine room today...and she TOLD me what you said to her."
Layton pulled up and crossed his arms in front of him. If this was all coming from Ruth Wardell, it couldn't be good.
"Enlighten me." He stated to her in as none challenging a tone as he could manage. "What did I say to Ruth Wardell? Least of all about you.""
Layton didn't like the small smile that crept over her lips one bit. Again, it was that smile people give you right before they suddenly pull a gun out and shoot you.
Her tone was as flat and expressionless as he had ever heard it, but none of the anger was gone from it.
"You told Ruth...that the only reason you kept me alive, the REAL reason you wouldn't let her execute me, was because I was the only one..."
Something in Layton brain suddenly clicked. "...the only one who could fix the train." He finished for her.
Melanie stared back at him, almost with a surprised expression. "So you did say it." She stated in a quiet whisper.
All Layton could do at the moment was admit to his mistake. Slowly he nodded to her as he let his arms drop back to his sides.
Melanie stared back at him with an expression that matched her earlier tone. "Well, Mr. Layton. At least we now know where we stand."
"No." Layton stated. "We're not even close."
Melanie gave him a confused stare in reply.
"Are you willing to talk to me about this?" He asked her quietly. "Are you willing to listen to me?"
"For what? To hear more lies?"
"To let me explain it to you."
"Explain what?"
"Melanie, you're only hearing one side of this. Ruth's. You think it isn't bias?"
"How much bias is there in that statement, Mr. Layton? It sounds pretty straight forward to me. AND you admitted to it."
Layton could hear the anger rising in her tone again. His main goal at the moment was to keep the anger at bay. To get her back to that calm, rational person she usually was and that he could reason with.
"Will you at least hear me out?"
Melanie had taken up his defensive stance with her arms crossed tightly in front of her. And though it was the hardest, coldest stare he ever remembered her giving him, he could at least tell she was listening to him.
Layton walked over to the sofa at sat down on it, giving her the advantage of being the only person in the room standing. Giving her that feeling of control.
"You say I've been lying to you. And I know you don't want to hear it right now, but I haven't lied to you. And I'm not going to start now. So yes, I said that to Ruth. Right after she told me she wanted to pursue your conviction and sentence. She took me totally be surprise and she sounded like she meant every word she said. She wanted you executed."
"She said she didn't." Melanie countered. "She said she tried to stop the execution. To have me...incarcerated instead."
"Well, how much sense does that make?" Layton asked. "When she's the one who started that whole ball rolling to begin with."
"She said she wasn't. She said First Class wanted the execution, not her."
"Well, she changed her mind pretty fast." He stated. "Because when she talked to me, the only thing she was after was your execution."
Layton sat and thought for a moment when Melanie didn't say anything.
"Well," He finally said quietly, "I guess in one thing I can take some points. At least it appeared she listened to me."
"Listened to you?"
"She believed me that executing you was the worst thing for the train. And maybe that was what changed her mind. So she found a new way to satisfy her need for revenge. She found a way to get her's, but keep you alive at the same time. Put you in a cell and we just pick your brain when we need to."
Melanie tucked her head down in a manner Layton knew all too well. When something hurt or upset her, that was her way of shutting it out.
"Melanie," he said softly, "I told her what she needed to hear. I didn't mean one word of it. But I had to tell Ruth something. Please. Believe me."
Melanie barely lifted her head. Just enough so she met his pleading stare.
And for some time that was how they stayed.
Layton sat on the sofa carefully watching her expression. He could tell she was mulling the situation over again with the new information he had given her. It was so typical of her he almost wanted to laugh. He often compared her to her favorite piece of equipment on the train other than her beloved engine.
Her laptop.
He always told her working around a problem with her was easy. He just fed her all the information he had, then waited. She either came up with a solution or would asked for more information.
But after a few minutes the silence began to make him nervous.
"Well?" He finally asked.
Melanie stared down at him for a moment. "I would asked you if that was the truth." She answered him quietly, but then slowly shook her head. "But what's the point?"
Layton sat for a few more moments, considering his options. Of one thing he was certain. She was still hurting. More than he had ever seen her. And what made it even more painful for him was knowing he was the cause of it.
But finally he made his own decision about the situation as he got to his feet. The day had already been too long and he simply knew already nothing was going to get resolved tonight. Anything he said was just going to run headlong into that wall she had raised up between them.
"You're right." He stated a little firmer than he meant to. "What's the point?"
Walking past her he went into the bedroom and picked up the small, battered suitcase he had come there with so many months before. He placed it on the foot of the bed and opened it. Turning around, he opened the top drawer of the small dresser he had moved into the bedroom weeks ago.
She had actually laughed at it the first time she saw it there, stating how mismatched it was against the larger, more stylish dresser she had been using. But when he offered to get rid of it, she refused to let him, saying it needed a home, and it was starting to grow on her with it's rustic simplicity.
He had laughed and asked her if that's how she saw him. She surprised him by saying 'Yes', adding that that was one of the reasons they worked together so well. They balanced each other perfectly. That sometimes she needed his simpler way of viewing things to solve the problems that came up.
"So much for balance." He grumbled to himself as he began gathering up his clothes and stuffing them into the suitcase. He knew not everything would fit since he had acquired a few new articles of clothing since he came to live with her, but he figured he would come back for the rest later.
It only took him a few minutes to gather his things, then he headed back for the door to the bedroom.
Melanie was still standing exactly where he left her when he came into the main room again.
"What are you doing?" She asked, the slightest amount of alarm creeping into her voice when she saw the suitcase.
But Layton kept walking, passing by her. "I'll be in the Tail, so you don't need to worry if I have a place to sleep."
The alarm grew a bit more. "You're leaving?"
This time Layton did stop and turn back to her. He wasn't angry. He was just stating a fact for her.
"This isn't working, Melanie. And if we don't trust each other, it never will."
Melanie stood where she was still and watched him walk over to the front door of their cabin. She expected him to stop. To say something.
Silently she begged for him to.
But she watched in helpless silence as the door opened and he walked out of the cabin.
With an equally soft hiss it slid closed after him as Melanie stood in center of the room, staring at the door through a blur of tears brimming in her eyes.
"Layton?"