When they met

Chapter 2: When Neji met Fu

Neji remembers quite precisely the moment he first met Fu. He was sixteen and on vacation in Suna with his family and the Maito family as they had always done for the past sixteen years of his life.

Neji was not a fan of Suna. He thought that if a city should be so hot and surrounded by so much sand, it was only logical it would be somewhere on a coastline where numerous beaches stretched far to the horizon so people could at least get a refreshing respite with crashing waves lapping at their skin.

But no. Suna stubbornly stood in the middle of nowhere. To its defense, it wasn't far from a coastline brimming with the aforementioned beaches. In fact, the amenities and landscapes were so extraordinary that those beaches were a worldwide prized tourist attraction. So prized that the only thing surrounding this stretch of white sand and turquoise sea were hotels and restaurants.

The city itself was a few kilometres away, where said hotels and restaurants workers and other citizens alike lived contentedly. One must admit that, even though unbearably hot, Suna was an incredible metropolis thanks to its rapid growth in the decades following their devastating civil war. Buildings sprouted like mushrooms, each taller and fancier than the other. Suna quickly became a hub for technology and architecture feats. One could find greenhouses on top of forty stories buildings, and futuristic glass bridges in-between the hundreds of skyscrapers composing the city. And if one wanted all of the lights, surely they wouldn't be disappointed by the downtown where every avenue, billboard and storefront were illuminated with modern-looking screens, vintage neon lights or old-fashioned lanterns.

All in all, Suna would probably have been one of his favourite cities if the heat wasn't so crushing and if he wasn't forced to wait for Tenten to finish her two hours shopping spree with Gaara's sister, Temari.

Neji scowled thinking of the redhead, which was obviously the reason why all of this was happening and why Neji's white shirt clung to his muscles like a second skin, a very sweaty second skin. Don't misunderstand him, he was very happy that Lee and Gaara found each other, and as far as romance went for Neji, he thought the couple suited each other perfectly well. Lee being his childhood friend, nothing was more heartwarming than to see him so happy and in love.

Lee had met Gaara last year when he was an exchange student at Konoha High. And since then, the boyfriends had been inseparable. Lee was taller and more athletically build, always in his favourite green Adidas sweats, but of the two he was the most romantic, the gushiest, the one of easily got flustered and fumbled with words, bursting with passion with his undying love. Gaara was more petite, slender, graceful, but of the two he was the calmest, decisive, always putting a reassuring hand on his boyfriend's arm when he started to second guess himself, always closing the distance during their first kisses when Lee was still hesitant.

But even as Neji found their love quite touching, he still grumbled while nibbling the straw of his empty drink that now contained only ice and no more coffee. Because in the end, they are the reason why Neji had to sit in the terrasse of a crowded coffee shop waiting for his friend.

After the year had ended and Gaara was due to go back to Suna, Lee, in his never-ending impulsive and passionate personality, had begged their principal Tsunade to arrange an exchange year for him in Suna and God only knows what kind of lucky star Lee had because it had worked out. Now both the Maitos and the Hyugas decided they could use the excuse to help Lee settle before the year started, to visit this city they had never vacationed in before.

And before they knew it, they had been welcomed by Gaara's family in their mansion, whose family was very excited to finally meet Gaara's new boyfriend and his extended family and friends. Gaara's mom was gushing on Lee as much as Lee's mom had on Gaara. Everyone had given a side eyed glare at Lee who everytime he had gushed about every aspect of Gaara, he had somehow failed to mention he was the Suna mayor's son.

So far their time with the sand family had been a pleasant one. Gaara's brother, Kankuro, was fun to be around when he decided to get out of his room, and Temari became fast friends with Tenten.

Neji rolled his eyes looking at his watch for the uptenth time, Tenten was due in half an hour and even if he knew she would not be a second late, he found the wait interminable. He should probably have gone shopping too or at least gotten himself a book to pass the time, but Neji was not in the mood to do anything. The climate seemed to drain all of his energy and even the climatized buildings offered little respite because of how crowded they were.

"Hi!" A voice chirped next to him. "Is this chair taken?"

Without looking over his phone, he shook his head and motioned them to take the chair.

"Great!" The person exclaimed before sitting down.

Neji looked up a bit annoyed to see a girl his age, with bright blue hair and pers eyes looking straight at him, a wide grin gracing her lips and her expectant hand outstretched at him.

He raised a brow at the sudden intrusion and shook her hand more out of a sense of propriety than anything else.

"Yes?" He asked warily.

"I'm Fu!" She explained delightedly. "I'm on a trip to Suna with my father and brothers. And this is so exciting because it is the first time I ever got to leave our city. This is my first time abroad you see, and I decided I would make the most of it! And meet as many people as I could."

At first, Neji tried to glare this Fu girl away, but she was too absorbed in the retelling of her childhood to notice. She was excitedly telling him about her hometown in Takigakure and the best known place on earth for apricot pies.

After a few minutes, Neji barely blinked at her and the speed of her speech, wondering how she breathed while talking so fast, while talking so much that even his friend and known gossip queen Ino Yamanaka couldn't compete. And that was saying a lot in Neji's book.

"And that is when my father found me in the closet where I locked myself in after what must have been like hours and-.." Fu stopped abruptly, remembering something. Her cheeks flushed. "Oh, I didn't even ask for your name."

Neji raised a brow. It was difficult to know how to react to that, had she asked him at the very beginning when she sat down, he would have dismissed her coldly, scowling at the intrusion. But this odd girl, had started straight away on childhood memories, from her grandma's biscuits she loved when she was four to her brothers putting blue hair dye in her shampoo last week - colour which she ended liking, she wanted to precise, and will probably keep that way.

He finally sighed. "My name is Neji."

She beamed. "It is very nice to meet you, Neji! Do you have a phone number? Are you still in town for the next few days? Do you like seafood?"

"Yes." He deadpanned, still unsure what to make of this person. "Times three." He added when she still looked expectantly at him.

She clapped her hands in glee. "Wonderful! I wanted to try this seafood place, but my father and brothers are deeply allergic, so I was kind in a bind, but now I have a friend who can! Isn't this fantastic?"

"Here!" She snatched his phone which was already open while he tried to text Tenten to tell her to hurry up. "Oh! Is Tenten your friend?" She smiled. "Maybe she'd like to eat seafood too?"

Neji scrunched up his nose. His friend had been an avid sea food fanatic until that time she ate a whole plate of it during their winter vacations in Kirigakure and ended with an indigestion so strong she swore off any type of marine food off her plate for life.

Fu laughed at Neji's expression. "I'll take that as a no." She handed him his phone back. "I put my contact info in there and already texted myself! I'll give you the coordinates tonight, ok? You are free for lunch tomorrow right?"

Fu's speed was such that Neji felt dizzy and barely able to put one thought in front of the other, only nodding at the girl who was already rushing out of the terrasse.

"I have to meet my brothers in five minutes, see you tomorrow!" She shouted over her shoulder before disappearing in the street's crowd, leaving a besotted Neji behind.

Well, at least that made him forget about the heat for a little. And in a second, Neji could see from two streets down the double buns of his best friend coming along happily to meet him.

"Sorry for the wait," She exhaled from weariness. "Don't be fooled by Temari's casual exterior, she is more of a shopping addict than Ino is." She laughed.

And instantly, Neji relaxed, forgetting about everything that bothered him. "Don't worry about it." He said softly.

Tenten's eyes lit up at his smile. "Kankuro said he could take us to the coast tomorrow, he promised to give us our first surf class." She was positively jumping a little on her feet and Neji smirked at her childish joy.

"I can't." He sighed. "I promised my father and uncle to do something." He added when she raised a brow.

"Oh." was all she said, and he knew, she knew he had lied. Of course she would know, she knew about everything in his life. She would probably have been there if his father and uncle had asked him something of the sort.

The brown-eyed girl smiled and waved her hand. "Another time, then."

That's why he loved Tenten. She also knew him enough to give him his space, and never demanded of him more than he could give.

He should have told her about Fu, about the seafood place. He should have told her when he saw her twice again after that. When she kissed him and when he kissed her back. When they kept texting each other the following months. When she called him to tell him she was coming to Konoha to spend the rest of spring and summer there.

He shouldn't have lied to Tenten. He shouldn't have hid the video calls from her. Or pretended he was too ill to go to their ski week-end so he could instead go visit Fu.

He doesn't know why he felt the need to hide it from her. But deep within he knew it was because of the way she looked at him. And he knew. And he knew that he did too. But he couldn't. He couldn't lose Tenten because if he did, he would lose everything.

Fu was safe, and lighthearted and fun to be with. She was comfortable against his arms and had soft lips. She did all the thinking for him, so he could float in the relationship without much of a second thought. All she wanted was his presence, and that he could give. Not perfectly all the time, often his mind would wander over to cocoa-filled eyes and guilt would grip him.

"You're not listening, are you?" Fu would scowl. And he would give her a guilty smile before she sighed and happily repeated her story to his nodding head.

He should have told Tenten something. He should have. Because he talked about her all the time with Fu. Fu knew everything about her and their friendship, and she was always very supportive of it, always asking him when she could meet her. She had this ridiculous project of making a hundred friends before she turned twenty and she always said she would make a spot for Tenten on that list, because if she was important for him, she was for her too.

Neji would give a non-committal "Soon". How could he have known that one day, when he got back home from school, she would appear out of the blue in his room? Or that half an hour later, Tenten would open the door to his room, because last night she had forgotten her algebra book on his desk?

But here he was, with the odd feeling he had cheated on her. Because if Fu knew all about Tenten, Tenten knew nothing at all.

"This is my girlfriend, Fu." He said automatically.

He could see the gears turning in his best friend's head when he added : "We met last year in Suna and kept a long distance relationship. I didn't know how to tell you."

He hadn't meant to say the last part, mostly because this would also hurt Fu, but it slipped his lips the moment Tenten's expression transformed to a pained one for a split second. He knew he probably should have looked her in the eyes, he never thought himself a coward until he couldn't bear to witness her heart breaking right in front of him. It was too painful to not be able to rush to her like he had done every other time she was in pain. To not be able to keep her safe in his arms. Because this time he was the threat. He had hurt her and this nauseated him.

And when he finally steeled himself to look at her, he inwardly flinched at her searching eyes. She looked at him like she didn't recognize him and he knew she knew. She knew of his cowardice, of his willful ignorance.

He had always ignored what he had always known. The way her eyes had heart in them when she looked at him, the coloring of cheeks whenever she got closer. How she fit just perfectly right when he held her. But this was Tenten, he couldn't jeopardize her. He couldn't lose her. And it maybe made no sense for many people to refuse someone they loved because of fear, but for Neji it was very real. This feeling he could die, that the world could implode if something ever happened to her, to them.

Fear gripped at his heart whenever he thought of loving Tenten more than he should. Being her best friend, he knew how, but her boyfriend? He couldn't. What if he did or didn't do something correctly by her? He was good at friendship, not so much at love. He was distant and awkward with feelings and not as passionate as he should be to give Tenten the true romance she needed and deserved.

To say he hadn't wanted to kiss her, to hold her closer, longer, to taste her; he would have lied. It was something he thought about constantly, apprehensively, everytime he climbed her window, desperately craving her scent, her touch, even when it was just her shoving him off her bed because she was a sore loser.

But he couldn't risk all that she was to him for all that he desired her to be. He would fuck it up, he was sure of it. One way or another he would fuck it up and leave her brokenhearted and he would be left with nothing. Because Tenten was everything. Neji could positively die if she left him.

But with Fu it was different, he had not much to lose. He liked Fu, a lot, but if their teenage romance did not last, his world would not shatter. He'd mend his broken heart, and he'd still be counting on his best friend to do so.

He knew in a way it was selfish and cruel, for both of them, to accept that in the end, neither would have his heart the way they truly wished. To Tenten's unrequited feelings, he made her believe he would never be hers when he was; and to Fu's pressing love, he made her believe he was hers when he wasn't.

After what seemed an interminable silent conversation of exchanged looks between him and Tenten, she finally did what he should have never asked of her.

She smiled and accepted his girlfriend as if her heart wasn't shattering with every millimeter of her stretched lips she forced into a smile.

And he let out a relieved breath he didn't know he was holding, watching silently while Fu animatedly talked to Tenten who forced herself to nod energetically to mask a distress Neji couldn't unsee.

But she was there and Neji knew he was pushing it, Tenten's loyalty that is. But of course, she would stay. They were there for each other and would forever be, that was his one certitude in life.

That's probably why, a couple of days after their graduation ceremony and prom night, Neji couldn't find any words to say to Tenten when she told him she was going to Suna University. She had applied to their pre-med program at the same time as she did for Konoha University. He had known she did, and was there when she took a deep breath and sent her applications in. But Suna was always the plan B, and she got in Konoha U with him, in pre-med too, so Neji had difficulty understanding why she chose Suna instead of Konoha and didn't think of telling him.

"Lee is going there, and you know how he always insists I could join him and we could share a flat there. And Temari had tried to convince me too, you know, Suna has the best archery program in our side of the world and…"

But Neji had stopped listening. His mind was fuzzy, his mouth dry and his head spinning. He felt nausea rip through him like a hot knife through butter. Tenten was never supposed to leave. To leave him.

They had planned it all, them, together, at Konoha University. They had the matching sweaters with the KU logo on it since they were five. And he knew, he knew it was because of Fu. It hurt her too much. And in a way, he understood. He truly did.

What would she do? Fu decided to move to Konoha and was planning to attend the same university they did. Would he ask Tenten to sit through that all the time? So bear her pain for his sake? Because he was too selfish and a coward to recognize how she felt, how he felt? And he needed to do things right by Fu too. She was his girlfriend after all, and if she stayed in Konoha, he'd have to make more time for her, which meant less with Tenten. The dynamic was already weird as it was, he couldn't force Tenten to stay and bear it all.

But moving away was a big step. He knew damn well, Tenten had been toying with the idea of going to Suna University since their last trip where she fell in love with the city. She had taken up surfing, had met a few of Temari's friends there and kept gawking at their campus, mostly the archery facility for which Suna University had been renowned for almost a hundred years now.

It was never a possibility for Tenten before, because there was him and us, at KU. But with Fu, everything changed, he guessed, she only needed a push towards Suna and he gave it to her unwillingly last week.

He looked at Tenten's eyes, her speech had ended long ago, but he was still processing it all. She bit her lips and he was transfixed by their plumpness and their rosy colour.

She looked at him expectantly and waited for him to say something, anything.

"Are you kidding me?" The tone was so cold and unforgiving, Neji thought someone else had spoke.

But his hands were clammy, his breath shallow, his heartbeat fast and his body felt numb and hot at the same time. Things around him didn't make sense anymore, everything around him felt other-worldly and it was as if he could watch himself from afar.

He was having a panic attack.

He hadn't had one since he was seven years old, after having them recurrently for two years after he and his dad almost died in a car crash.

But this was what it felt like, this sudden realization that she was leaving, it was like a car crash. It was helplessness and fear. Just like his mother did, she was abandoning him and leaving him behind. It was uncharacteristic to Neji to be so unpragmatic and irrational, but fear gripped him before reason did.

Neji once read somewhere that brains created emotion to drive humans to do something for their well being. Thus the name "emotion" stemmed from "motion". He had read anger was designed when someone's safety was in danger and the brain signaled to the body "it is time to defend yourself". Maybe that's why it explained what happened next. Why they got so angry at each other.

Maybe for the first time in their life, they felt the need to protect themselves from the other. Which was very new to them. They had always been a safe haven for one another, never the source of the threat. And even if they had silly little disputes, they never had a true argument, one that could actually fracture their friendship.

Neji doesn't remember what he yelled and he doesn't remember what Tenten had shouted back. He had blacked out with pure white fury. He vaguely remembered telling her she was a coward for running away, for leaving him. And he barely remembered what she answered, something along the lines of "you have to understand" and "I have to do this".

He had always run to Tenten whenever she cried, most of the time before she even knew she would. He could read her better than anyone else, better than herself. That day was the first time he run away from her, when the tears fell on her cheeks, it was more than he could bear.

"Neji… please." She begged him when he was at her window. Her voice was twisted by agony.

He paused briefly, wanting to run back to her, to hug her. But he couldn't, he was too hurt himself, he needed out, he was already out of breath.

While he climbed down the portico under her window, he could hear whimpers and sobs, and the sound of the bed creaking when she sat down and gave out any remaining strength.

He could still hear her sobs when he ran down the streets, when he slammed the door of the Hyuga mansion, when he rushed to his rooms ignoring the quizzical looks of his father and uncle, when he tossed around incapable of falling soundly asleep, wavering between states of mind.

Or maybe it was his own that he heard. Whatever it was, he was completely broken.

He woke up the next morning and was in a sour mood, much to Hiashi and Hizashi dumbfounded stares. At the breakfast table, Hanabi mouthed 'Tenten?' to Hinata in a questioning manner and Hinata simply shrugged.

"Want to talk about it?" Hizashi asked. When Neji didn't answer, still stabbing his omlet, his uncle pursued :

"Neji?"

"Son?"

His eyes slowly raised to meet his father's. "Tenten is going to Suna University."

"Ah." Neji didn't know whether it came from his father, his uncle or both.

But he did remark on the exchanged looks between his family members.

"Is this because of this Fu girl?" Hanabi scowled.

"Hanabi!" Hinata admonished.

Hiashi rolled his eyes. "Probably." He took a sip of his coffee.

"Father!" Hinata scolded.

Hizashi chuckled at his brother's mannerism who had started to be more expressive since he stopped repressing his homosexualty. He didn't do a dramatic coming out like Lee did. He simply stated one morning around breakfast "I have been going to therapy, and I am gay." and everybody around the table simply nodded. Hizashi asked "Anyone we should know about?" Hiashi opened his ipad to read the latest Economist issue "Not for now."

Good for him, Hizashi thought. But he sure wished his newfound self-expression would stop with the sarcastic tone of voice whenever anyone mentioned Neji's new girlfriend. After all, they had been together for quite some time, almost a year now. The relationship seemed solid and the girl was quite nice and bubbly. Being Neji's family, they should be supportive of his love life. When he told this to Hiashi, his twin merely replied "but I am team Tenten" with the faintest trace of lament to which Hizashi gave an exasperated sigh.

"Neji-nii-san.." Hinata began softly. "There is still time."

Neji glared at his cousin, ready to shoot back "Time for what?". Because she couldn't understand. It wasn't that simple. It was too complicated because, because… Because...

And suddenly he felt like a character in a poorly written teenage drama. Where two people made things more complicated than they had to. At that moment, Neji was ready to correct everything. To make everything right. How it should have been. Before it was too late, before she went away.

So Neji ran down the street of the neighbourhood they had shared for almost eighteen years, he rushed past a mother pushing her stroller and a mailman who nearly dropped all the letters he was holding. He climbed the room in a hurry, arriving breathless in Tenten's room, only to find she was not in it.

To find the room empty, neatly packed in eight boxes by the door that opened at that moment.

"Ah, Neji." Sayuri smiled at him. "I thought I heard you stumble through the window sill."

"Where is she?" He asked, his voice urgent. This startled Sayuri who took a moment to piece the puzzle together.

"She is gone, son." Gai appeared behind his wife, deposing a hand on her shoulder. The parents exchanged a look, it was difficult to not associate the dispute they heard yesterday to the sudden turn of events. Tenten was supposed to move out at the end of the summer, but instead came into their room yesterday asking if she could depart with Lee the morning after and if they could bring her boxes with them the following week. This had both left them perplexed but without any reason to object.

"Is everything alright?" Tenten's mother asked softly.

Neji swallowed hard. "Yes," He finally let out. "Everything is perfect."

And he walked out the door. He walked out the door of Tenten's house for the very first time in years. It had started as a stupid superstition when he was ten years old after spending the night at her place. He started alway entering and exiting through her window, as a way of always keeping a "window of opportunity" between them. It was a weird, unexplainable unfounded belief he had, that when he departed from her window, it was like a promise of coming back.

But this time, he closed the door after him and didn't look back.