TW: mentions suicidal thoughts/attempts, PTSD/cPTSD, adjustment disorder, difficulty coming out

Important disclaimer: I forgot to say that in chapter 3 but the whole fanfiction was inspired by a tik tok (!). It's a song written by itsjennaraine named "make him choose". The prompt is not the same became Tenten doesn't dislike Fu, but the dialogue between Tenten and Fu was mostly lyrics from that song. The song is so utterly beautiful, I truly recommend you listen to it. It was posted four days ago.

When they first met

Chapter 4: When Tenten met Temari

The first time Tenten met Temari, she was sixteen and Temari seventeen, already prepared to start her undergraduate degree hoping to one day get into law school.

And their first encounter was, to say the least, brutal. When Tenten smiled, with her outstretched hand towards Temari, the older blonde pushed the brunette's hand out of the way to jab her finger in her chest.

"Your brother better not hurt mine, or I'll break both his legs." She hissed at the twin-bun-haired girl.

Normally, Tenten would have laughed, because she loved other opinionated women. But nobody threatened her twin and got away with it. So she did the next best thing and pushed Temari away and the next thing she knew they were on the floor fighting until Neji took her by the waist, dragging her away from the blonde who was also dragged to an opposite corner of the room by her older brother.

"Stop this Temari, you know this would not help Gaara." Kankuro hissed at Temari. And this seemed to calm her enough.

The Hyugas and the Maitos had been vacationing in Suna after helping Lee settle in Suna for his upcoming exchange year and when Gaara's family got wind of the two families who had welcomed their son in Konoha, it was inevitable that they ask them to spend the last couple weeks of their vacation at the family's manor.

Later in the evening, Temari went to Tenten to offer an apology. And then Tenten learned how protective Temari had been of her brother's well-being because Gaara had not had it easy when he announced his homosexuality to his father. Suna was still more narrow-minded when it came to LGBTQ+ matters and being the mayor's son really complicated Gaara's situation.

Temari had been powerless at watching her brother's announcement at first be ignored by their father. Then he started taking Gaara to see every medical doctor known to him. Surely there must be something that could be done to this temporary crisis. And when every doctor told him his son was perfectly healthy, his father went back to ignoring him. Convincing himself this was only a phase.

She had been helpless when she saw Gaara slowly fight with the depression that came with having to hide who he was and the guilt he felt at disappointing their father. Of course, Gaara's mother had been as supportive and loving as she could, but it hadn't stopped her son's mental health from slowly deteriorating until he barely went out of his room.

Temari was left angry at her father and at herself for being so powerless to protect and defend her little brother. The more weeks went by, the more he lost sleep, weight and appetite. Gaara's demeanour changed almost imperceptibly from calm to lifeless. She had tried to help him. She spent most of her time with him, studying, eating, reading in his room while he lay motionless in his bed.

Truth be told, she was mostly scared. She was scared that one day Gaara would hurt himself. That she'd lose him for good.

And her fears came true. Her fears came true six times the following year Gaara had told them about his sexual orientation. Temari felt like screaming at the world, to their nonsense. Was their bigoted narrow-minded point of vu so important to cost her her brother's life?.

But bless their angelic kind-hearted mother who seemed to have a telepathic connexion to her youngest son, acting as a supernatural barrier against anyone's attempt to hurt her son, even when said attempts came from her son himself. She could wake up at three in the morning with the urgent need to go check on her son's well-being and come just in time.

She was also the one to finally knock some sense in her thick husband's head after almost a year of his nonsense homophobic behaviour. Temari still remembers their biggest fight. She came home late from a study group session. It was nearly midnight and she heard the hushed screams of her parents in the kitchen. She couldn't make out much but she remembered the bribes she understood. "Get it together or I'll leave and take Gaara with me, see what that'll do to your political career." "If you love your son, you'll love him as he is." "That's intergenerational trauma and you know it. You're doing to him what your father did to you."

The change wasn't immediate but slowly their father came around, but in the meantime, Gaara had deteriorated even further because of bullying at school. Not necessarily because of his sexual orientation, but simply because he was different. Too silent, too melancholy, too detached. It was easy to single him out. When Temari learned of it, she went straight to the main perpetrators and threatened to kick their asses. When they burst out laughing, she was about to punch the leader of their group, but she was stopped just in time by Kankuro who had tracked her the moment he heard about the situation.

Temari would find great satisfaction two years later when she discovered Lee actually delivered the punch she had attempted to give, when he was an exchange student in Suna High.

It was their father's idea to allow Gaara to do an exchange year in Konoha Highschool, thinking maybe a change of scenery might be good for him. Temari had violently opposed, scared that if something happened there, they wouldn't be there to protect her little brother. But Gaara himself wanted to go, so they established some guidelines. They would call every day, he wouldn't miss even one appointment with his psychiatrist and wouldn't skip on his antidepressant.

Their father's idea turned out to be a success. Weeks after weeks, months after months, Gaara slowly got better, sturdier, happier, to Temari's bursting heart. Everything seemed to move greatly towards a better direction. Out of love for his son and trying to redeem himself, their father even introduced a few bills and dismantled others to make Suna a friendlier city to the queer community.

Sure, things were changing slowly, the bills were still discussed and some of them inspired much controversy. But more than ever, people and media were tackling subjects of homophobia, biphobia and transphobia, and with the sharp criticism of more conservative people, also came outpouring waves of support for Suna's LGBTQ+ community who had never received such a platform to advocate for their rights before.

But Temari still couldn't shake the dread that gripped at her entrails. When he finally told her he had met someone, all her fears came rushing back. What if they break up? What if that sends Gaara down another spiral? She had lived with her anxiety like a second skin for the whole year Gaara had been away, always flinching whenever her phone rang.

This is it. She would think. This is when it all crashes. This is the phone call where a police officer tells me 'Sorry, we arrived too late.' or 'We need you to come to identify a body'.

But day after day, Gaara proved her wrong, yet her anxiety got worse. Temari often woke up from nightmares of her mom crying in hospital hallways. Sometimes, she'd wake up groggy not remembering what year they were and rushing to Gaara's room because she thought she heard something, only to be met by its emptiness and remembering he had been in Konoha for quite some time.

She also had had multiple panic attacks, whenever her brother did not answer her after her third call, or when he forgot to answer one of her texts. Her breathing became shallow, she could feel her heart burning, her skin sweating and her vision becoming blurry. When her father noticed, he immediately rushed her to seek help.

Who is this man, Temari would think. A couple of years prior, her father would not even have believed in the idea of mental illness. "It's just a weakness." He would say. Now he said things like "The bravest thing you can do, Temari, is asking for help."

Months later, after having seen a psychologist for her anxiety for a couple of months, he told her he suspected she had complex PTSD.

"Contrary to PTSD, complex PTSD does come from one single event but an accumulation of events. In your case, I think it stems from the multiple suicidal attempts your brother did. You have a lot of residual fear and anxiety."

This is where she was at when Tenten and her first met.

Tenten certainly did not expect to get in a fight with Gaara's sister, and certainly did not expect her to come back during the evening to explain why she had acted so irrationally because of everything that had happened in the previous years. But she was sure glad she did.

They spent the whole night talking, exchanging their love for their brothers and their experiences trying to support them in their journey. Tenten admitted that Lee's went more smoothly and she had fewer reasons to worry. Though every time she read something in the news about two men being mugged in the streets for kissing or holding hands, she'd have to calm her racing heart, calling her brother, making sure he was alright.

Temari and Tenten quickly became very close friends in the next couple of weeks the younger girl stayed in Suna and kept close contact when she went back to Konoha.

When Tenten finally moved to Suna, Temari had been ecstatic, taking her out everywhere, presenting her to all her friends, subscribing her to her hot yoga studio - which Tenten did not understand the need for, because doing yoga anywhere in Suna could be considered as hot yoga.

In less than a summer, Temari had introduced Tenten to a myriad of spots she simply had to know about and met pretty much everyone that needed to be met. From the baa-chan in the blue district that made the most famous Suna's traditional bread stuffed with grilled meat, to the exuberant socialites always ready to party in Suna's most elite dancing clubs. At the end of August, the brown-haired girl truly felt like a true Sunan girl, down to the short shorts, crop tops, sun-kissed skin and iced matcha latte constantly glued to her hands.

Tenten had been a coping mechanism for Temari when dealing with her cPTSD, she could confide in her at any day, any time and her friend's reassuring presence always helped her put her thoughts in order and revisit her feelings more calmly.

Temari had been a constant support for Tenten when she dealt with her adjustment disorder because of her severed relationship with Neji. She had to go through an actual grief over her lost friendship and she was able to pull it through because Temari had been by her side through it all. All the emotional support Neji used to give her, she could get from Temari, which made her withdrawal symptoms from weaning Neji bearable until she felt freer and freer of the grip he had on her soul.

Most of the time after long nights spent ranting about their emotional states smoking hookah on their balcony, the girls would burst out laughing in the early hours of the morning, thinking how too dramatic this all was.

"They say it gets better as we grow old. That everything feels more tragic because of hormones and stuff." Tenten pointed out before blowing apple-flavoured fumes in the starry night sky.

"Well, I hope so." Temari snorted, taking the hookah nozzle from her friend's hand. "Imagine being thirty and still being a helicopter sister while your love life is nonexistent."

Tenten and Temari burst out laughing.

"Imagine," Tenten managed out between fits of laughter, holding on to her friend's arm. "Being thirty and still being triggered by your ex-best friend having a girlfriend because you're still hopelessly in love."

Their laughter doubled over, tears pearling at the corner of their eyes, abs hurting for the merriness. Really, self-deprecating humour could truly be the best medicine sometimes. Mostly with the right friend.

"I hope you know," Temari finally said after their laughter subsided. "That if I'm still single by thirty, I'm marrying you."

"Oh, yes, definitely," Tenten agreed, resting her head on her friend's shoulder. "We could definitely pull off the whole co-parenting thing."

Temari nodded. "Oh, we would rock this co-parenting thing."

"We could ask Neji's uncle and father for advice. They've basically written the book about it."

So it was no wonder really that Temari was there when Tenten got the letter. It was actually Temari who handed it to her with a perplexed expression.

It was late June, Tenten and Temari had just finished their finals two days ago and they were pretty excited because of this summer. Temari was supposed to spend it in Konoha at the Maitos' house. And in about three weeks, the two girls, Hinata, Ino and Sakura were going to a one-week-long music festival in Oto.

The mood was running high on this Thursday late morning. Music was spilling loudly from Temari's speakers, sunrays overflowed from the large bay windows and clothes were thrown everywhere, on every surface possible while the girls prepared their suitcases. Tenten was in her room, folding clothes so she could stuff it down her duffle bag when Temari entered unceremoniously in Tenten's room handing her an envelope.

"You have mail." She said in a sing-song voice, handing her a square envelope with her name handwritten on it. This immediately spiked Tenten's curiosity, she had never received a handwritten letter before. The unusualness of it must have also interested Temari because she kept hovering over Tenten when she sat down to open it.

To Tenten Maito, Friend #100

458 Palm Street, apt 1108

Suna City, Suna

93046

Friend number one hundred? Tenten thought quizzically, raising a brow.

Temari watched as Tenten opened the letter, as shock transformed into sorrow, which transformed into consternation, then maybe a splash of anger, and back to profound sadness until there was nothing left on her face to decipher her emotional turmoil. Her chestnut-haired girl stared in the emptiness ahead of her, handing her with a trembling hand the letter she had just read, still clasping the envelope with the other.

Temari took the folded sheets of paper with the precaution one would with a gun.

Dear Friend,

If you receive this letter, it is probably because I am dead. I know, what a dramatic entrance.

Don't worry, it is perfectly normal that you had no idea I was dying. The only people who knew were my parents, my brothers, and in the last three months of my life, my beloved boyfriend Neji.

Please find attached to this note a personalized letter to you, my friend, and an RSVP for my non-funeral/celebration of life (bring a plus one!). There is also a black little card with the reason why I consider us friends. Keep it preciously, it has a role during the ceremony.

But for now, let me explain myself.

I was four years old when I was first diagnosed with a rather aggressive form of leukemia. From a very young age, I had gone through so many medical procedures and chemotherapy that my nurses often joked that my medical records were as long as those of the geriatric patients a few floors upstairs. My parents never liked those jokes, but I found comfort in them. In a way, it made me feel you could always trick life into stuffing more experiences in little years, even if they were painful experiences. Because that meant the same logic could be applied to happy ones too.

Every time they did a biopsy or every time I had to sit through hours-long chemo sessions, my father used to promise me one thing to keep up my fighting mood :

"When this is all over, I promise you, you'll see the world and you'll make a hundred friends."

This did not only become a motivational mantra but my main life goal.

I had been in remission three times in my life, the last time when I was sixteen. It was glorious, I really thought it was the one where I could break free from this disease. Alas, just like the other times, my body couldn't quite hold its own against the spread of cancer. But this time, there were no other treatments, even experimental, that could help. Metastasis masses could be found in my bones, lungs and even one in my brain. I was seventeen when we first saw them and I said enough.

I didn't have much of life, but I still wanted to live it correctly. I sat down with my family, it was mostly my father who had been difficult to convince. But it was all over now. Not the way we had wished it would be over, but over nonetheless. And my father kept his promise.

He made me travel to all the cities I had read about in the magazines of hospitals' waiting rooms. And I met all of you, my hundred friends, who helped me cheat death by encompassing a lifetime's worth of love and memories in the couple of years I had left.

So here is one last celebration. I hope we all get together and celebrate the life you helped me cherish.

With all my love,

Fu

Temari swallowed hard, before flipping the page to read the personalized letter Fu handwrote to Tenten. She guessed the RSVP and the "how we became friends" note were still in the envelope.

Dear Tenten,

Gosh, this letter is so hard to write. With all the other ones, it was easy and fun. Probably because the circumstances of how I met these others were also easy and fun.

I would like to start by saying thank you and also, forgive me. I know I am a coward, waiting to be dead so I wouldn't have to say all that needed to be said while alive. But I hope these words will find you and that you will find it within yourself to forgive me for all that happened.

But before I explain myself further, I'd like to talk about the first time I met you. Not at Neji's place, mind you, but a year before that. Unbeknownst to you, I had seen you at the beach near Suna, doing paddle boarding with Neji. Your cheerfulness was so contagious I instantly knew we could be friends. What happened next was completely out of my control. I swear.

Temari read quickly the following paragraphs describing the series of events that had happened after, from her meeting Neji to her pleading Tenten.

I could never thank you enough, Tenten, for hearing what was hidden in my pleas. You sacrificed what you held most precious to your heart for a complete stranger. How many people could claim to have been this selfless in their life? I know I don't deserve to ask this of you, but I shall ask nonetheless.

Please forgive me.

Forgive me for stealing him for those two years you can never get back. I know it was unfair of me, to push you away, to beg you to take a step back. But I had no other choice, you see? I simply didn't have the time to find someone who could look at me and love me as Neji did with you. So I took whatever was left that Neji had to offer, and I made it enough.

I never meant for your friendship to break as it did. I know I should have said something, I should have told Neji why you went away. Not let him think you abandoned him simply because you couldn't see him happy with someone else. I should have told him you did this because you truly thought it was the only way he could truly be happy.

You understood exactly what I tried to tell you.

Between you or me, it would have always been you, without a second thought. He would have run to you every time, would have taken your side all the time. As long as you stayed near, he could never go far enough to join anyone else, to meet me halfway in our relationship. You knew and you chose to give him the space to do so.

Because you genuinely believed he loved me.

And I let you believe he did, but the truth is, it was always you. Whenever I slept next to him, when he mumbled in his agitated dreams. It was always your name. All of his passwords he had no idea I saw him type. It was always your name.

Even a thousand miles away, I still could not compete with you. I still lost to you, but at least, with you in Suna, I was the loser who got him next to her. And if I died knowing what it felt like to be loved and treasured, it was thanks to you and what you sacrificed.

I am shameless, but I have one last favour to ask. Give Neji's letter to him personally. It has to be you.

It always had to be you.

All my love to you, maybe my most unwilling friend, but nonetheless my most precious.

Fu

Temari didn't feel her own cold tears on her cheeks until she finished reading the letter. She looked up at Tenten who was staring at a smaller envelope containing what must have been Neji's letter.

"How do you feel?" Temari asked, unsure, her voice hoarse.

Well, that was a damn good question if Tenten ever heard one. How did she feel? She couldn't even say.

Not that she didn't feel much at the moment, no, she actually felt too many things. And they all rushed to her throat and everything was jammed there. Could a heart tremble? Like a ticking bomb? Because under the intensity of it all, it felt like her heart could.

First and foremost, there was utter shock. Of Fu dying. Of Fu's disease. Of Fu's confessions on how she had observed her, envied her relationship and willfully inserted herself.

Then, predominantly, was sadness. A deep unreasonable sadness. The type you get when things and time are wasted, never to be obtained again. Piercing regrets. Crushing consternation. Leaving you powerless, looking back on ghosts you can only dream of and never grasp again.

She was sad for Fu, for the challenges she had faced, for her wishes that so many others just took for granted. Friendship, love, a future. All of which Tenten had also taken for granted with Neji before he met Fu. Then she felt sad for Neji, he had known for only three months before she passed away. The shock must have been overwhelming for him. Knowing him, he probably insisted on taking care of her until the very end. That was just who he was.

But mostly she felt sad for her and Neji. For their broken friendship. Their irreparable severed bond. The years they had lost they could never have back. This truly stabbed her heart.

And then, there was the unassuming anger. At herself, for letting it happen in a way. At Neji, for being as dumb and blind as her. And obviously at Fu. The most infuriating with all of that was that Tenten couldn't properly be mad at Fu. She had had cancer for fuck's sake. And she died. How could you be mad at that? But Tenten was still seething. Because, truth is, and would always be, that none of this mess would have happened if Fu had never entered their lives. She almost regretted going with Temari to shop that day, or her idea to paddleboard the day before.

Oh, she knew full well she also had her share of responsibility. She understood perfectly what she had engaged herself into when she agreed to all the intended demands behind Fu's pleas. But as Fu said in her letter, it was because she had thought they were truly in love. She had never once thought Neji could reciprocate her feelings as well. And if she was honest with herself, she still had doubts. But now she could never know, because Fu happened and things went out of control and now she was gone, leaving them both broken dealing with a mess.

Which was also incredibly maddening, how could someone disrupt other people's life knowing full well they would be gone soon? How could you justify making other people pay such a price for so little time? Then again, what Tenten considered very little time, would be a lifetime for Fu.

In the end, now she was dead and Tenten could only scream at the emptiness in front of her.

And underneath all of it, was a sliver of relief. Tenten could have never forgiven herself if she had denied a dying girl her only chance at love. And just the idea of imagining an alternate universe where she had stayed insensitive to her begging, where Fu would have died a little less happy because of her selfishness: this would have destroyed Tenten. So it was with certain vertigo at the weight of all the what-ifs that Tenten found comfort in all her pain that she, at least, did the right thing.

But this didn't make it hurt less, it just gave meaning to her pain. It made it maybe more bearable, but not less intense in itself.

Temari eyed her silent friend warily, wondering what emotion would come out of her first. She was not surprised when, after around half an hour spent in silence, it was anger who showed up first.

Tenten got up abruptly, grabbing the nearest thing she had next to her, which happened to be a picture of her in Paris, near the Seine, in the middle of the night, when she was younger. Temari knew Tenten kept it because Neji had taken it.

She flung the frame against the wall facing them and screamed.

"THAT B-" The shattering glass of her frame covered her shout and Tenten slumped to the floor, her shoulders shaking.

Crying uncontrollably. Crying for Neji, for her and for Fu. Because in all this madness and nonsense, truly, nobody won.

They all lost.

"We all lost," Tenten mumbled through her hot, never-ending tears. "We all lost everything." She repeated when her sobs became uncontrollable and hysterical against Temari's chest who held her tightly.

It took a few hours before Tenten had truly calmed down. They were sitting on the floor, it was nearing midnight and they were both emotionally spent from this dark turn of events.

Bitterly, Temari would think about how many other tricks could this Fu person have to unroot someone else's life. If it was going to be truly over now.

"So," Temari stifled a yawn. "What do you want to do now?"

Tenten shrugged, completely empty.

"I don't know." She passed a hand through her dishevelled hair.

The envelope and the RSVP card lay on the hardwood floor in between them.

"The ceremony is in about two days." Temari silently urged. "If we want to make it, we'd have to take the road tomorrow, early in the morning."

Tenten looked startled at Temari. "We?"

"Of course, we." She scoffed. "Obviously, I'm not letting you go alone."

"I'm not even sure I'm going."

"Yes, you are," Temari assured. "I know you, this will eat at you if you don't."

The blonde sighed. "Let's finish packing, get a few hours of rest and let's hit the road tomorrow. We'll go to Konoha from Kirigakure after the funeral is over."

Tenten wanted to protest, she didn't want to bother her friend. But Temari gave her a look that left her no choice but to smile and nod.

Let's go say proper goodbyes this time. Tenten thought.

Her funeral was indeed a celebration. Fu and her family lived in a very large house in a rural area of Kirigakure and possessed a pretty vast domain. Around dozens and dozens of cars parked in unused fields.

Tenten and Temari slammed the doors of Temari's car, exhausted from their hours of travel and the ache resulting from the bad bed they had slept in the previous night in that shabby motel.

The immense backyard of her family home had been arranged much like one would for a wedding, with strings of lights spread across the garden, tables and chairs everywhere, a DJ at the front with a mini-scene where people were speaking on the mic, telling God knows what when Temari and Tenten arrived.

They were first greeted by her father, an old man, whose lines were weary with grief but tried to smile cheerfully at them nonetheless, for his daughter's sake.

"Friend number a hundred, eh?" He tried to keep his tone upbeat. "We are only at friend number 58, so don't worry you're not too late."

"Too late for what?" Tenten asked dumbfounded.

"Oh, one of the things Fu had wanted during her celebrations, instead of eulogies, was that her friends tell each in their turn how they became friends, as was written on the black card you received with the letters."

Tenten's heart twisted. She couldn't possibly read her black card out loud.

She had come for two reasons only: find Neji and give him his card, and pay her respects. It was the only way she knew how to finally close this chapter of her life and finally move on. And just on cue, she saw him pass.

It had been one year since she last saw him, two since they last talked. Her mouth was dry.

"Thank you," She excused herself from Fu's father, not even noticing she had left Temari alone in a crowd whose attention was directed at friend number sixty-two.

She followed Neji when he entered the house and sat down in the living room. She knew how much he could detest big gatherings like this one. His social battery was not a long-lasting one.

"Hey," She greeted, unsure, scared, nervous.

Neji did not move instantly, his arm was still thrown over his face and he was still like a statue. But she could notice the faintest stiffness of his muscles.

"What are you doing here?" He finally said, letting his arm fall back by his side and levelling his cold stare to hers.

His tone was icy and cutting. Tenten fought against every fibre of her being to not run away. Fu said he needed her, that he loved her. The part of Tenten that still hadn't healed wanted it to be true.

"Friend number a hundred." She chuckled mirthlessly, showing her letter to his narrowed unbelieving eyes.

He snorted. "She did save you a spot after all." He reached for a glass with amber liquid and took a big sip.

That is when Tenten noticed Neji was not quite himself. His eyes were glazed, his speech was a tiny bit slurred. He was drinking himself in oblivion.

His eyes were red too.

She had not seen him cry since they were kids. Deep within, Tenten felt a stabbing sensation. She should have been by his side when he cried, holding him.

"Neji, I-"

"Tenten, now is not the time." His reply was curt.

"I just wanted to-"

"Tenten." He warned in a growl.

"Neji, please-"

"I said no!" He roared.

Tenten took a step back. He hated to see she was scared of him, but he was lost in something too big and raw he couldn't yet understand. Grieving and sadness and an incomprehensible amount of anger directed at everyone and mostly him.

The last person he had wanted to see was Tenten. Neji struggled with the guilt of not having loved Fu enough, with the proper care and attention, because part of his mind and probably most of his heart, were always turned towards the chestnut-eyed girl who haunted his mind. And here she was, parading in front of him, reminding him of all of his failures towards his deceased girlfriend because he could never bring himself to love her as he should have.

Everyone had received a letter. Everyone but him. What did that say? That Fu knew he was not worth her love in the end.

But above all that he was mad at his ex-girlfriend. He had sacrificed Tenten for a relationship that was doomed from the start. He had traded the one person in his life he needed most for someone who knew she would leave. He had traded love, comfort, friendship, loyalty… for grief, death, despair. How much of a fool he was?

He couldn't even properly let himself feel what he felt because remorse would freeze him in place. He couldn't be mad at Fu because first, her death made it logistically impossible, and second, because morally it felt wrong to be mad at someone who had died of sickness.

And here was Tenten, reminding him of all that. And even if there was nothing he would want more than to draw her near him, let his forehead nest in the nook of her neck and inhale her peachy skin, he still owed Fu to not betray her trust one last time. She needed to be his priority, now more than ever.

Tenten stood helplessly watching Neji. Torn between her duty and knowing he needed to be left alone. She decided to try one last time. Big mistake.

"Neji, I just want-"

"Don't you get it?" He hissed at her. "It doesn't matter what you want Tenten. Heck, it doesn't matter what anyone wants. Fu died."

"Fu died." He repeated helplessly. "And you're here. Why are you even here? You hated her."

"That's not true!" Tenten shouted indignantly.

"Yes, it was." He yelled back. "You hated her, and you hated us being together. You hated the thought of her happy with me so much you had to fucking go and abandon us, me, a friendship we took years building."

Tenten silently watched the outburst of Neji. His flustered skin, the veins on his arms as he clenched his fists. The mad expression twisting his features in a pure white rage.

"You preferred to go and ruin everything. Everything. Just to avoid seeing me happy with Fu." He continued shouting. "So do what you do best Tenten," His snarl was laced with black poison. "And leave."

Tenten could not take it anymore. Her hands were still shaking and she felt ready to explode and melt at the same time.

She stomped her way back to the garden, just in time to hear the DJ repeat for the third time:

"Where is friend number one hundred?"

And before she could process it, Temari took her arm and started guiding her to the microphone.

"She's here!" The blonde yelled at the DJ.

Tenten stumbled on the mini stage unsure of what to do, looking nervously at the gathered crowd she couldn't make out because of the light so intensely shining upon her.

"Tell us what the card says." Someone yelled from the crowd.

"It says," Tenten swallowed hard. "Tenten let me borrow... what was most precious to her." She breathed the last part, pain crushing her soul.

Tenten left the stage with tears spilling from her eyes, which she guessed was seen as normal in a funeral, even a celebrating-life one. People slowly parted so she could find her way back to Temari who had been standing at the back.

"What did she let you borrow?" A smiling girl asked her while she was walking away.

Tenten looked at her lost. "Huh.. a sweater." She said dismissively, making her way through the crowd.

"It must have been a damn good sweater." Someone said.

"I hope she gave it back." Someone else laughed.

Sure she gave it back. Tenten thought wryly. Completely torn.

"Tenten!" To her surprise, she looked ahead and two of her friends walked towards her.

"Shikamaru? Hinata?"

"Tenten!" Hinata gasped again. "I didn't know you would be here."

"I didn't know about you guys either."

Shikamaru shrugged, showing his card. "Friend number eighty-four, for letting me copy his statistics test that I completely forgot to study for."

"Friend sixty-eight for her kind and gentle smiles in places I felt so lost in." Hinata whispered.

Tenten nodded, not even caring anymore enough to indulge this fortuitous encounter. She needed to get out of here before she lost her mind. Her eyes suddenly lit up.

"Shikamaru!" She exclaimed.

"Hm?"

"Could you give this letter to Neji?" She thrust the paper into his hands before he could protest. "I need to go now."

She didn't leave time to let Shikamaru reply.

"I'll see you two in a couple of days in Konoha." She said over her shoulder, waving at her friends.

Always stitch in the middle of those fucking two. The brown-haired boy internally sighed.

Tenten walked through the crowd with calculated efficiency,

"Let's go," Tenten said as she passed in front of Temari.

In a matter of minutes, Tenten was behind the wheel, ignoring Temari's questioning expression.

"Pull over." The older friend said after half an hour of their silent ride.

"Why?" Tenten asked.

"Pull over, now." Her friend repeated more forcefully.

Tenten did as asked and Temari got up to switch seats.

Once Temari was behind the wheel and they were back on the road, she murmured "You can't drive and cry at the same time, Tenten."

And the rest of the journey was spent in mournful silence, broken only by the occasional sob coming from the passenger seat.

Tenten doesn't know what hurt most, that she had hoped Fu was right or that she still hoped Fu was right? Because whatever Fu claimed she had seen in Neji's eyes when he looked at her was clearly not there anymore.

Love in his fucking eyes, my ass. Tenten thought bitterly, wiping a flow of incoming tears. She hugged her knees to her chest and let her watery eyes settle on the blurry passing trees.

Probably, Tenten would think, that Fu had been wrong all along. She was so obsessed with Neji's friendship with her that she completely misread the whole situation. Out of unreasonable insecurities, Fu probably thought Neji had loved his best friend when he actually didn't. And like a fool, she had believed the words of an envious delusional girlfriend. For Tenten, the ounce of hope Fu gave her, was probably the cruellest trick she played on her.

Though, all of that barely mattered now, because as of today, there were no more speculations possible. Neji hated her and Tenten felt so incredibly wronged and powerless in this whole masquerade that all she could do was cry.

Tomorrow, she would fight.

And the day after, she would grow.

And the week after, she would forgive.

But today, she had to cry.

And cry, she did.

A/N: Omg, I was so excited to finally get to this chapter. Did it show with how fast I updated? I couldn't stop my excitement. I really wanted to take you to this bit of the story as fast as possible because that is pretty much the core of it.

I'm hoping to keep a similar updating speed. I have not finished writing the story yet, but I've outlined all the chapters. This story should contain around fifteen chapters.

Mini spoiler concerning the end: I don't know who needs to hear this (because if you're like me and have no emotional stability left for tragic romances), but I just want reassure anyone like me that this will have a happy ending. It's not going to be all rainbows and unicorns, but this will have a happy ending.