When they first met

Chapter 7 : When Kankuro met Neji (part 1)

July 2018

Not that anybody had ever asked him, but if they did, Kankuro wouldn't be able to say when he had first met Neji. He suspected it might have been the day Temari and Tenten got into a fight because he vaguely remembers someone dragging Tenten away while he was making sure Temari's murder intentions were kept in check.

He didn't notice much of Neji and Tenten at the time. He had only a vague impression they were a couple on vacation with their families, visiting Tenten's brother, who happened to be his little bro's boyfriend.

To be honest, Kankuro would have to admit he was at an all-time high in terms of parties and drinking himself to oblivion and dancing until the early hours of the day. Whenever he was home, he slept until the afternoon, and when he woke up, he went straight to the beach for a lazy day surfing and waiting out the night hours where he and his friends would find a new party scene.

That was a wild summer. One to remember if he hadn't been hungover for most of it.

After that, Kankuro had seen Neji only once during the awkward encounter with Temari's boyfriend.

So it was incredibly difficult to explain why, when he woke up in his hospital room, the first word he said when he slowly opened his eyes was:

"Neji."

Luckily for Kankuro, the only one at his hospital bed, looking over him, was his little brother Gaara who couldn't care less about anyone except his boyfriend, Lee.

"I don't even want to know." was the only placid reply he got from Gaara.

Kankuro's thoughts were still blurry as he tried to fight against his headache to recall the events that led him there.

His last memories were of warm brown eyes gleaming with love at him and his heart feeling full. Then he remembered the ring. He tried to retrieve it in his pockets, but he realized he had been wearing a hospital gown.

"Looking for this?" Gaara held the red velvet box to his brother, who took it from his hands.

Kankuro's brows furrowed as the events came rushing back at him. The picnic, the park, the flowers, Tenten's surprised expression, her hurt…

"Let's break up."

And finally, the champagne bottle's cork she had been trying to open came flying at him, hitting him straight on his forehead. Kankuro had lost his balance with the impact, and his body jerked back, his head falling and knocking a rock behind him.

The following episodes came detached and rumbled. Tenten's worried teary eyes over him. The red lights of an ambulance. A hand holding his. The oxygen mask was put on his mouth. The big nosy machine he had been put in. His eyes kept closing and opening until he completely fell into slumber.

"Tenten looked after you all day and night yesterday until we came this morning, and mom told her to go get some rest," Gaara said, looking at him boringly, but Kankuro could see the hidden worry in his eyes. "She's here now if you want to see her."

"I'll just reassure mom and dad first, then I'd like to see her."

Gaara nodded. "They shouldn't take long.

oOo

"He just woke up," Tenten said to the newly arrived Sakura, Ino and Hinata, a sigh of relief escaping her lips. "He's with Temari and the rest of his family right now."

"Damn," Ino whistled. "People dating either you or Neji must be cursed. First Fu dies after she went out with Neji, and now Kankuro almost does after dating you…"

"Ino!" Hinata shrieked while Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance.

"What?" The blond asked. "Too soon?"

"For fuck's sake Ino." Sakura shook her head, her palms to her face. "Of course it is too soon."

"For Kankuro or Fu?"

"Both, Ino, both." The pink-haired girl replied blasé.

"I'm just saying," The blonde raised her hands to defend herself. "That it's uncanny how people trying to get in between Neji and Tenten seem to become cursed.

Sakura threw her friend an unbelieving look. "Fu had leukemia years before meeting any of them."

"And Kankuro simply had a concussion, and he is better now, right?" Hinata said softly to her brunette friend.

Tenten smiled tiredly at her friends' antics and nodded to Hinata's question. "He's alright now. The doctor said they would keep him tonight just to observe him, but he should be all good to go tomorrow. His scan came back normal, so that's good... Gaara told me he wanted us to talk after."

"How do you feel?" Hinata asked softly.

"I'm good. Surprised by the break-up, things were going so well." Tenten sat down in one of the waiting room's chairs and kept her thinking eyes on the floor.

The three other girls exchanged a look. Sakura sat down next to her, putting a hand around her friend and letting her chin rest against Tenten's shoulder.

"Want to talk about it?" Ino asked gently, crouching down in front of Tenten as Hinata sat next to the brunette on the remaining free side, wrapping her hand around her arm and squeezing it affectionately.

Tenten shook her head, unable to speak, tears spilling from her eyes. "I think," She began, her voice wrought with emotions. "I think I know why he wanted to break up."

The other three girls exchanged another look as their friend hid her face behind her hands, sobbing quietly. They also had an idea as to why they broke up.

They also had a name they all collectively thought of at the same time.

oOo

When Tenten entered his room, Kankuro wanted to be hit by a rock all over again because he thought physical pain would be better than the emotional one he was feeling at that precise moment.

How could someone be so prettily sad? He would think.

And he hated that he was the cause of it. How could Neji have supported hurting her for years? It felt like his soul was tearing in two just at the sight of her reddened eyes and her puffy red lips.

He suddenly had a little pity towards the Hyuga. He couldn't have lived with himself if he knew he made Tenten constantly suffer. Just like the long-haired man, he probably would have tried to avoid her at all cost, not wanting to be the cause of her sadness anymore. And during a brief time, he understood Neji Hyuga perfectly and how genuinely tragic his story with Tenten was.

But then Tenten bit her bottom lip, tears brimmed at her eyes again and all Kankuro could think of was her.

He didn't know what to say, so he simply opened his arms and she ran to him, crashing into him, crying against his torso. He held her close and breathed the sweet scent of her shampoo, each of her sob like a dagger through his heart.

Then they talked, they whispered, they shouted, they murmured. He cupped her cheek, and she put a hand over his. She cried. He cried. They talked through their tears, trying to convince each other.

When the nurses came to signal visiting hours were over, they stopped at the little window. The girl was shaking her head vigorously at something the boy had said, his reassuring hands calming her in her frenzy of denying whatever he was trying to explain to her. And after he soothed her and talked some more, she finally nodded, slowly, her tears rushing over her cheeks at the realization she must have agreed with whatever he was saying. The nurses exchanged a look and thought that maybe just for today, visiting hours could be extended a bit.

After hours of talking, arguing, Kankuro explained to Tenten what happened in his mind between the moment the picnic started and how it ended; they finally had nothing left to say to each other. Tenten was sitting on the edge of his bed, still holding his hand.

He pulled her down next to him, and she snuggled against his chest. He wrapped a protective hand around her, hearing her sobs slowly fade in rhythmic breathing. And while she was sleeping next to him, he let his mind wander.

The first time he met Tenten, he thought she was cute and bubbly but didn't think much more of it at the time because she was always scotched to that Neji guy and he remembered thinking 'cute couple.' And that's what they were to him the whole summer they had spent in Suna five years ago.

The first time he really saw Tenten, four years ago, she was eighteen and moving to Suna for her undergraduate program. He didn't know why he thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen because he was known throughout the party scene of Suna and had dated his fair share of supermodels and aspiring actresses, each more stunning than the other.

But Tenten wasn't the physically attractive kind of person. It was her warmth, the way her smile stretched like the milky way, encompassing all of a billion stars, reflecting a sublime mystery. It was the way she talked to him, always a peal of laughter in her tone.

He had dated dozens of other girls before Tenten, but he had never felt what he felt for her with anyone else.

He couldn't say precisely when or how his feelings for the brunette began. Maybe it was her laughter and screams of glee as he taught her surfing techniques. Or perhaps it was how she always did a little dance when the waiter at the restaurant put a plate in front of her. Maybe it was during Halloween when she dressed as a loofah and looked thoroughly adorable behind all the frills of her costume. Or the way she scrunched up her nose whenever she was solving physics problems. Maybe it was all those long nights she spent studying with Temari, her oversized sweatshirt, messy bun and reading glasses. Or the way she would hold his hand, pretending to be able to read the lines of his hand and him entertaining her just because he loved the warmth of her hands against his.

All he knew is that a year after she arrived in Suna, he wanted to know everything about her. Her astrological sign, her favourite meal, the songs she listens to when she's sad, her ambitions in life, and did she ever think of one-day having kids? Cause he never did until now, and how cute would a mini Tenten look running around and for fuck's sake, did he really just think that?

Years later, Kankuro would deny it vehemently at a diner table with Temari, but he had relentlessly pursued her for a year and a half. She had been very clear from the beginning she was too enamoured with a boy from Konoha that he quickly understood could be none other than Neji. But that did not detract him from his ambition to charm the amber-eyed beauty.

Not even Temari grabbing his arm one time and dragging him away from Tenten to headlock him and make him swear he would stop hitting on her friend was enough to deter his feelings for the twin-bun-haired girl. He had had to convince Temari first to let him get closer to her before he could actually start charming Tenten.

She did not want her friend to be played with, not after the disaster that Neji was in her life. But he had promised he had only the purest intentions and that Tenten was different. Temari did not believe her brother at first because Kankuro was nothing if not unstable and wavering in his emotions. But even with all her reserve, she couldn't deny that the months of persistence from Kankuro pleaded in his favour that, indeed, this time it was different.

It was the first time he had to actively pursue a girl for months before she accepted. He knew she was attracted, the way she blushed at him when his skin brushed hers or how she stuttered when he got too close. He knew that, physically at least, she reacted to him. But emotionally, she was still very closed off.

Tenten was forthright with him, she liked him, but she couldn't love him. The first year she was in Suna, she was still pining over Neji. Everything was too fresh, and she was on a self-discovery journey, so he only offered her his friendship and support, which she was very grateful for. He always respected her need for space, and once he made his affection known, he did not repeat or make incessant love declarations. She knew that were she to change her mind, he'd be there.

Her second year in Suna was pretty much the same, except this time, her reluctance stemmed more from the fact she still had a certain sense of hope or expectations from Neji. Even though she never said it, he knew it from the way she would still reread old conversations they had or hover over her keyboard, wondering if she should send him a message or not.

It was pure torture for her, and he hated it.

It's after that summer when she learned about Fu's death that things seemed to have significantly evolved. She came back with a new attitude and outlook on her life. It was not about self-discovery now but a healing journey. She didn't want to know who she was without Neji like the first year or live without him like the second. She wanted to learn to live with it. With Neji becoming distant, with Fu being dead, with never having the closure she felt she needed.

During that third year in Suna, months after months, they became closer. During fall, he took her out at least once a week, sometimes with Temari, but the more it went, the more it was just the two of them. They bonded over some music groups and shared childhood stories. He told her of his complicated relationship with his father, who had so many expectations for him he decided to fulfill none of them so his dad would stop expecting anything from him. And she told him of how she admired the love her parents bore for one another and hoped one day she could have something similar.

During winter, they started to get physically closer. He'd take her hand sometimes when he walked her home and hugged her more often than not. And when they watched movies, she'd snuggle closer to him, and she took on to calling him late in the night after she had just finished studying. He was always in the middle of a raging party, but he'd step outside and pace for an hour or two on the sidewalk of the club, earning himself weird stares from the bouncers as he laughed and got excited over a silly thing Tenten said.

And the more it went, the less he wanted to go out and the more he wanted to stay in. He'd bring her food so she could take a study break. Then, one time in May, they were eating cupcakes he bought her, and she leaned in, laughing, to wipe off the cream he had all over his mouth. Before he knew it, he kissed her, and she kissed him back.

And it was probably the most intoxicating thing he had ever felt, her lips, that is. He wanted more, but he knew she'd need a moment to compose her thoughts. He knew, deep down, she thought her first kiss would be from him. She needed to grieve this, so when she got up abruptly to go to her room, he cleaned out the living room and stayed put on her couch until she came back a few minutes later.

They talked it out, their relationship, what she could offer him, what she couldn't. He knew she was trying to warn him that he couldn't expect her to have only him in her heart, or at least, not yet. But he knew that once he would be in her heart, no matter that he had to share it, it wouldn't matter. Tenten would love him the best she could. She was the kind of person that would stay by someone's side. If she made a promise, she'd keep it. And if he was special enough to be the first she allowed in after Neji, it was because she loved him too.

Their relationship came as a bit of a surprise for their families, except for Temari. Lee was ecstatic, of course, and already talking of double weddings as soon as same-sex marriage was legalized either in Suna or Konoha. Gaara simply hissed a "copy-cat" at Kankuro and smiled at Tenten, giving her a wink.

Temari did not care that her best friend was dating her brother, but she very much cared that her brother was dating her best friend. She wasn't worried about what the brunette would do to Kankuro, but she sure as hell was anxious about how her brother would treat her. Though weeks later in the relationship, the sandy blonde could only admit her brother was telling the truth about how different things would be this time. She had never seen him cherish anyone this way.

Both best friends also decided to swear to each other that no matter what the outcomes of that relationship would be, it would not affect their friendship. It was a relief for both of them when, indeed, even after the relationship between Kankuro and Tenten had ended, the bond uniting the two women was as strong as ever.

Not a single day where Kankuro could hold Tenten close to him had passed without him wondering about his luck. On why this literal goddess and overall perfect woman chose him to bestow all her love and affection on.

Tenten was different from anyone else he had ever met. She made him want to stay.

Stay.

Such a simple word, yet one Kankuro had always detested. Being as hyperactive as a rabbit on crack, he hated the idea of staying put. He was always on the lookout for the next (legal) high or the next girl. But with Tenten, he just wanted to stay next to her, or better yet, he wanted her to stay in his arms.

Because for once, in the relationship, he was not the one at risk to run away. Every time he saw her expression darken with sadness or longing, he knew she had run to Neji in her mind yet again. So he held her closer until he could feel all of her curves press next to him and stuff his nose in her hair that smelled of salty sea and burning sun rays. He never pressured her to do anything. Her simple presence was enough for him.

Just her skin against his as they cuddled and binge-watched a new series felt like winning a hundred surfing tournaments and this idea that someone could make him so happy scared the bejesus out of him. Of all the women he had ever met, his heart had to set on the one girl that could never love anyone else as much as the biggest jerk on planet Earth (in Kankuro's humble opinion).

Namely, Neji Hyuga.

And to be clear, it was not the fact that Tenten loved Neji more than she loved him that led him to this ultimate decision of breaking up.

Kankuro couldn't care less that she only gave him a fraction of the love she had for the Hyuga because even that fraction was more than other people could fathom to give in a whole lifetime. When Tenten loved, she loved greatly, abundantly, wholly. He had never even once felt insecure or neglected in their relationship. She had been present, loving and had catered to him more than one could hope for.

No, if Kankuro had reached this sudden decision, it was because Tenten loved Neji more than he, Kankuro, loved her.

Kankuro's love for Tenten, albeit grandiose and true, could not even hope to surpass Tenten's love for Neji. And this realization hit him like a thousand bricks. Because this raised the bar even higher than what he thought he could expect of love. It made him wonder if, somewhere out there, there was a girl he could love as much as Tenten loved Neji.

It was hard to imagine, like trying to understand the concept of infinity, because his girlfriend had an infinite amount of love for her childhood friend. Although this should have been heartbreaking for Kankuro, this also elated him. That proved that somewhere out there was someone meant for him the way Tenten was meant for Neji and that she could love him to pure infinity.

Not only did he owe Tenten her chance at true love, but he owed it to himself too.

And this is why, when the sun came up, and Tenten stirred from sleep, he felt at peace with his decision. His heart was shattering into a million pieces, and every single fibre of his muscle screamed against the idea of letting her go, but he was still at peace with himself. This was best for both of them.

Tenten woke up, basking in the tangerine hues of waking sunlight and still in the embrace of her ex-lover, and she took a long moment to observe him one final time.

She understood everything Kankuro tried to tell her. And she agreed with it, too, even if it was the most painful thing for her to admit. It hurt nonetheless because even if she didn't love him most, she had still loved him greatly. She saw a future for them, and that future had now been ripped, and she would have to mourn not only her relationship but also the 'what could have been.'

It broke her heart when she finally set herself free from his arms when she plunged her eyes in his when she softly kissed his cheek before getting up from the bed.

She turned her back and started to walk away, but his hand shot up to take hers. She stopped; he squeezed her hand, still lying in his bed, while a lone tear slid down his temple and her back became blurry. She squeezed it back, and he let her go.

She didn't turn back because she couldn't bear to see him crying, and she'd give in to that part of her that told her to stay, and she knew he needed this break-up as much as she did.

Sometimes, growing up hurts like hell.

A/N: The second part of chapter seven should be uploaded tonight or tomorrow morning!