The meeting was enlightening. It answered plenty of my raising questions, but for everyone I answered I had a new one pop up. Head racing and spinning I longed for it to shut off. To be quiet and allow me rest.
Instead of making my way to the 4th floor, I head down a few more. A quiet knock along with a whispered name.
It isn't Gloss who answers, but Cashmere. While not close, I have no doubt she knows what her brother and I get up to. We have a social bond of being toys for the capital. After all it is really only the 2 Victors from 1 and 4 that have particular jobs. ;Everyone else is either too old and not in 'good taste' or refused and received the tragic consequences for it.
She steps to the side and cracks the door open, "He's in his room. Second on the right."
I take a few steps in, and she stops me. Abruptly twisting my arm, "You know nothing good will come from this?"
"Yeah… I do."
A sharp exhale is all the response I get. She releases me and heads to one of the rooms on the left which I assume is hers. I start towards Gloss' room and when I open the door he tilts his head up. He is already bare of his clothing, seemingly getting a head start over me. Only a sheet covering him.
"Well? Are you going to join me or do you just want to watch? Because I wouldn't say no to either."
"Thanks, I needed that" breaks the silence. I know he did, I could tell by the way he took control. He kept it soft for me, but I could tell the reporter hadn't let him do much. His wrists are still red. Most 'friends' of Snow like that they can display power over a Victor. We were a sweaty pile of limbs tangled together, but we still held each other. It was nice being held like this. In an affectionate way, not the possessive way. It also helps that it is our choice. After all that is what this started as. These meetings. A way for us to have bodily autonomy over ourselves and feel comfort. Almost a form of revenge on the capital. A f*** you to Snow, that he doesn't completely control our bodies.
"I needed it too. I met Quintin earlier." Gloss knows all about Quintin and his tastes. Even underwent a few 'sessions' himself before I came along.
"I should probably go," I say. Not moving in the slightest. My cheek resting on his chest and my lashes brushing his skin.
"Yeah, you probably should." Still he keeps his arms around me. Neither of us are moving.
"5 more minutes."
Eventually, I head back to my floor. I take a brief shower. Head already filled with thoughts. The quietness from my time with Gloss already leaving. The mentor being on the roof was a surprise. Even bigger, the fact he had gotten a note too. Another meeting was proposed for tomorrow with some other potential new people getting brought in. Mags was going to go as I had vetted for her. It would help with more people on the outside knowing.
I don't bother with going to bed in my room, just slip into Finnick's. I always feel bad. Gloss knows about my feelings for Finnick; he understands the situation we are in. I know he can make his own decisions but I still feel like I am betraying both of them. Finnick, for obvious reasons and Gloss, because emotionally I am not there. We don't love each other like that, more like companionship and friendship, a close but distant bond if that makes any sense? I barely know my own feelings on the matter, just that I always feel complicated over it. I love Finnick, but we don't have a future together as long as Snow is in power. That pain tugs at my chest anytime he gives me one of his smiles, not the capital grin with all his teeth. The one that pulls at the corners of his mouth, slightly crooked with mirth in his eyes. And his laugh. His real laugh. It's probably the most beautiful thing I've heard. It hurts. It hurts to be so close, but not as close as we both want. I know it would hurt more to not have him in my life at all, but it hurts. I know I will never love anyone the way I love him. This has to be one of the most cruel of Snow's actions. A drawn-out pain. A pain that doesn't ever leave.
I fall asleep relatively quickly. With Finnick there with me I had no nightmares. Still my heart was heavy, torn between the turmoil that was in my head over whether to include Finnick in on the plan. I know it is the right thing, but it is more dangerous for him. I can't help but feel selfish.
Finnick and I part ways to get scrubbed up for the chariot ride. A brief hug for preparation of the long emotionally taxing day is all we get. The prep team was prodding us along. I am regularly put through the extensive process and find myself nodding along to all the petty nonsense the prep team talks about. The waxing is relatively painless now by how many times I've undergone it. Just one of the desensitized things to come along with the capital.
My brown hair is teased, lightened and in loose coils. A sleek coat of blue polish on my manicured nails, warm paint on my eyes, and a heavy peach tone graces my cheeks. Relatively tame for capital fashion. I find out why when they place the outfit on me, if you could even call it that.
A net wraps around my chest, another around my hips. I trust I won't be flashing anything as Snow can't just give it away for free. Still I am careful to move around. I see they just went with showing as much skin as possible, a reminder of my last photoshoot. They bronze up my skin even more and place some shimmery stuff on my body. They place a rendition of a Victor's crown on top of my head, but it is more District 4 oriented. Shells and pearls adorn it. Along with it a spear. Not a proper one of course, I tested it. Probably the only thing I like about this provocative outfit. I assume Finnick is as dressed as me, which is to say, not really dressed at all. They probably gave him a trident, in hopes of subtly reminding the crowd how efficient we are with our weapons of choice.
I am ushered out of the room and pass Cinna on the way out. He is with Katniss, The Girl on Fire, he says hello to me and asks about me. I see it surprises Katniss that we know each other and are even on a pleasant basis to talk, and not in that dreadful capital accent and fake pleasantries.
I am sure to complement his work. While Katniss was just in a robe, I do point out, "You should be grateful to have such an amazing stylist. Cinna is revolutionary. Much better at designing things. Why I am jealous of his creations, they are much better than this monstrosity"
With that I go meeting up quickly with Mags. I tell her of the meeting that is going on, and to be careful about being discreet. I am sure to sign it, while not a full language, Mags, Finnick, and I have quite a few gestures to make it easier for Mags to communicate on ehr bad days. It is hard to say something while signing something completely different, but she understands. Apparently Finnick was already wandering about. Mags gives me a smile and squeeze and heads out to the crowd.
I enter the large room that hosts the chariots and immediately look for Jo. We haven't seen each other since the star crossed lovers' capital party on their victory tour. Jo only accepts hugs from me, a fact I take immense pride in every time she allows me.I can't hold in my gentle laughter at her twisted face. Seemingly like she ate a lemon, over her tree costume. Apparently she can't hold her tounge on my *lack* of a costume either.
"Well… that netting certainly looks interesting on you."
"A tree, Jo? How original" I shoot right back.
"How's your lover boy?"
"You know it's not like that with Finnick and I"
"Finnick? I wasn't talking about him, but it's interesting you brought him up."
"You know why I can't with him, Jo."
"But you can with One?" she scoffs.
"It's different with Gloss, and Snow knows that. He's the one to start everything up anyways. Besides, he likes that he can make us both miserable."
"Not for much longer."
I don't even have a response to that, so all I do is stare at her. She said it so straight faced, so matter of factly. She is right, though. It hurts to think that I'll probably die before ever actually being with Finnick. But then, it isn't really a new thought, the timeline has just shortened.
"Yeah but he can take it out on Mags. Or my dad. Or Ridley. Even if we are no longer around, he would still do it. You know Jo."
"Yeah. Yeah, I do."
The crunching hits my ear before I even know he's beside me, and when I shift my head, Finnick Odair's famous sea green eyes are only inches from mine. He pops a sugar cube in his mouth and leans earnestly against my horse.
"Hello, Katniss," he says, as if we've known each other for years, when in fact we've never met prior to this. We hadn't even seen each other during my victory tour.
"Hello, Finnick," I say, just as casually, although I'm feeling uncomfortable at his closeness, especially since he's got so much bare skin exposed. More than Maria even, who had stopped by my room earlier when getting ready.
She and Cinna seemed to recognize each other, which surprised me. Cinna doesn't seem the type to entertain the ditzy social capitalite she seems to be. There must be more subsistence to her. Prior to that interaction I thought her similar to Finnick. A bit of a peacock, as Haymitch succinctly put it, but a skilled fighter. It left me baffled that her and Cinna were close enough to warrant a hello.
"Want a sugar cube?" he says, offering his hand, piled high full of them. "They're supposed to be for the horses, but who cares? They've got years to eat sugar, whereas you and I ... well, if we see something sweet, we better grab it quick."
Finnick Odair is something of a living legend in Panem. Since he won the Sixty-fifth Hunger Games when he was only fourteen, he's still one of the youngest victors. Being from District 4, he was a Career, so the odds were already in his favor, but what no trainer could rightfully claim to have given him was his extraordinary beauty. Tall, athletic, with golden skin and bronze-colored hair and those incredible eyes. He was already a capable fighter with the spears and knives he had found in the Cornucopia. When he received a silver parachute with a trident— it was all over. District 4's industry is fishing. He'd been on boats his whole life. The trident was a natural, fatal extension of his arm. He wove a net out of some kind of prickly vine he found, used it to entangle his opponents so he could spear them with the trident, and within a matter of days the crown was his.
The citizens of the Capitol have been drooling over him ever since.
Because of his youth, they couldn't really touch him for the first odd year or two. But ever since he turned sixteen, he's typically spent his time at the Games being dogged by those desperately in love with him. No one retains his favor for long. He can go through four or five in his annual visit. Old or young, lovely or plain, rich or very rich, he'll keep them company and take their extravagant gifts, but he never stays, and once he's gone he never comes back. Maria has a remarkably similar reputation. Maybe it's a district 4 thing, or just a beautiful person thing.
"No, thanks," I say to the sugar. "I'd love to borrow your outfit sometime, though."
He's draped in a golden net strategically knotted at his groin so that he can't technically be called naked, but he's about as close as you can get. I'm sure the district 4 stylists think the more of their tributes the audience sees, the better. Both strikingly gorgeous by anyone's standards.
"You're absolutely terrifying me in that getup. What happened to the pretty little-girl dresses?" he asks. He wets his lips just ever so slightly with his tongue. Probably this drives most people crazy. But for some reason all I can think of is old Cray, salivating over some poor, starving young woman.
"I outgrew them," I say.
Finnick takes the collar of my outfit and runs it between his nimble fingers. "It's too bad about this Quell thing. You could have made out like a bandit in the Capitol. Jewels, money, anything you wanted."
"I don't like jewels and have more money than I need. What do you spend all yours on, anyway, Finnick?" I say.
"Oh, I haven't dealt in anything as common as money for years," says Finnick. "Then how do they pay you for the pleasure of your company?" I ask.
"With secrets," he says softly. He tips his head in, so his lips are almost in contact with mine. "What about you, girl on fire? Do you have any secrets worth my time?"
For some stupid reason, I blush, but I force myself to hold my ground. "No, I'm an open book," I whisper back. "Everybody seems to know my secrets before I know them myself." He smiles.
"Unfortunately, I think that's true." His eyes flicker off to the side. I follow them. He is staring at Maria. She is by District 7's chariot a little farther up.
"What about you? Do you hold any interesting secrets about yourself, Finnick? Or just poach them from other people?"
"Oh I have a few, Girl on Fire", he smirks at me, but his eyes end up straying again to his district partner.
"And your district partner? Maria? Does she know them? Does she deal in secrets as well?" I can't help asking.
"Maria? Why so curious?" He is back to focusing on our conversation now. I guess it's interesting again now that I brought up Maria.
"I met her briefly earlier. She was talking with my stylist." It still confuses me. I wonder if he will be just as confused over it, or if he already knows.
"Any thoughts on my Maria? I am curious."
"I don't know yet."
"Maria tends to have everyone eating out of the palm of her hand. I bet if she had offered you a sugar cube you would have said yes." I roll my eyes and scoff at that. "Peeta is coming. Sorry you have to cancel your wedding. I know how devastating that must be for you." He tosses another sugar cube in his mouth and saunters off.
Fininick finally saunters over to us. Before I can greet him Jo ends up asking, "Have fun scaring the newbies?"
He just throws an arm over my shoulder and ignores that quip outright, instead, offering both of us a sugar cube. He wiggles his brows until I give in and take one. Even tosses one at Jo when she doesn't take one. It bounces off her forehead, and he is graced with a red handprint on his left forearm.
Before they can start fighting more I drag Finnick along to our chariot. They can be such children when they are together. He lends me a hand getting in before jumping up himself. The welcoming ceremony is probably the easiest thing we have to do this week. Just smile and wave ( just smile and wave boys. Smile and wave). The star-crossed-lovers stole the show with Cinna's designs. I wonder how he gets the fire to look real? I might ask him about it if I see him again. A few kisses sprinkled in and a catch of a flower I placed behind my ear and we were done.
Before I can say anything Finnick is off looking for Mags. He points to Jo, knowing that I haven't really had time to see her. Other than the short pleasantries before. We link arms and start to head to the elevator where the attendants were directing everyone to go. Despite the glares and the attempts to keep the tributes separate no one really cared.
We ended up behind the star crossed couple. Jo shoots me a smile, unlocks her arms from mine and throws her headdress off behind us as we walk. She runs her hands through her hair, fixing the disaster the headdress left. She looks at Katniss and starts ranting about her elaborate costume. A rant I had already heard 30 minutes ago.
"Isn't my costume awful? My stylists, the biggest idiots in the Capitol. Our tributes have been trees for forty years under her. Wish I'd gotten Cinna. You look bloody fantastic."
"Yeah, he's been helping me design my own clothing line. You should see what he can do with velvet."
"I have. On your tour. That strapless number you wore in District Two? The deep blue one with the diamonds? So gorgeous I wanted to reach through the screen and tear it right off your back," Jo responds. Now she's just pushing it. If looks could kill, she would be dead.
"You know Ria; you're giving me a bit of inspiration with your outfit there", with that, Jo unzips her tree, letting it fall to the floor. She kicks it away in disgust. "Much better, don't you agree?"
Despite her not aiming the question at me, I can't help but respond with, "Jo darling, as much as I love you taking inspiration from my own costume I don't think everyone loves it quite so much. Some people don't know quite where to look." I send a glance over to Katniss, who is currently looking anywhere but at Jo.
We end up in the same elevator as the victors from 12 and their mentor, Haymitch. Katniss has a blush that covers her more than my costume covers me. Haymitch and Peeta are struggling to suppress their smiles from her reaction to a naked Johanna. I don't even try.
That smile falls when Johanna turns to me. "Surprised your heading to your own floor, figured you would be up for some midnight lovin'"
"Jo"
"What? I didn't say it was 1!"
"Jo!"
"Oops, my bad. It's not like it's a huge secret. Plus, there's plenty of people from district 1"
The elevator is silent. I just shake my head.
"You know you love me!" Jo shouts as I step off the elevator.
Finnick and Mags end up getting to our floor just as I finished getting comfortable. Mags headed off to bed. She said she was tired, but she definitely had a lot to think about if they gave her the same info I received last night.
I had decided earlier I would tell Finnick tonight. We sat on the same pallet as yesterday. His head in my lap again. I run my hands through his hair like always.
Last night…
"Well, sweetheart what are we here for?" Haymitch is standing there. Swirling the drink in his hand. Staring thoughtfully at me. Waiting for a response I didn't have.
"I don't know. You tell me?"
With that Plutarch swings open the staircase doors. If I didn't know it was soundproof I'd suspect he was standing there waiting to make a grand entrance. He must have slipped me the note during the luncheon.
"Thanks for coming. I don't have a lot of time, and I have a lot of information for you both. At the end is a question. An important one."And I have one to start. What do you know about District 13?"
"It got itself blown up for rebelling, Plutarch. Everyone knows that. We have to watch the goddamn video every year."
I interrupted Haymitch impatiently, "It's true then? I didn't really believe it but…"
"So you started your own digging after those hints. Good. Yeah, it's true. It's still alive. They retreated underground. We got in contact a coupla months ago. They've been watching. They think we can do it. Get rid of the games. Overthrow Snow. We've been working on a plan for the past couple of months. We've got one, but we need some help."