A/N: Some warning: there is a large age gap between Maria and Gloss, see endnotes for further explanation.

Also TW: dubious consent- forced prostitution of a minor is heavily referenced.

It had taken a couple of hours to tell Finnick everything I could. He had gradually moved to the pallet throughout the night. We ended up with his head in my lap again. I ran my hands through his hair like always. We ended up falling asleep there. As always with Finnick close, my nightmares were fended off.

I guess he ended up waking up sometime throughout the night because I woke up with him tangled in his sheets this morning. As a companion, not a companion though. Strictly as friends. That's all it could be. I had to repeatedly remind myself throughout the day. Anytime his nose crinkles, every time he winks at me, anytime he releases his bell-toned laugh. We can only be friends. It is my mantra. And it is this I say to myself when waking up, my face buried into his neck and his arms wrapped around me.

I unwrap myself from him without waking him and start to get ready for the first day of training. There was plenty I left out last night.

I can't tell you too much about the arena. You'll need to figure it out yourself…

You need to get your tracker out before the arena goes down. If you don't, you'll end up right back at the capital. At which point, death would be a mercy. I don't have to tell you that though…

We'll be communicating via sponsor gifts so you'll know our ETA and when you expect us, so stay alive until then.

…We need Katniss alive. She's our mockingjay. We need her. We need her to be our symbol so this can work…

"We talkin' about the right girl? Katniss? She is as uncooperative as they come." Haymitch snorted.

"We need the Girl on Fire, The Mockingjay. She is the symbol of the rebellion. Proof that the Snow can't always win."

"You are gonna get nothing outa her if you don't have the boy."

"Then we keep him alive too."

I'm going to get more people on board but so far 3 and 6 are down. Can we trust Finnick? And your mentors?

"For the most part. Finnick and Mags I would trust with my life. Both of them have issues with the capital. Cassian too, but I don't know how much I would tell him. He has been so drunk I am surprised he isn't dead. He might let something slip on accident."

…Now, everyone is going to be aware at different levels of what the plan is. Just know you need to keep Beetee alive. In order to get out, he'll need to be there…

…get the force field down so we can get in there to pick you all up…

…helicarrier. It'll be disguised as a capital one so they don't shoot us down…

The last aspect was a bit muddy. The force field had to come down somehow, and Beetee had something to do with it. All I could really tell Finnick about was about 13 being alive, needing to keep Katniss and Peeta alive, and that we needed to get our trackers out before we were rescued. I don't know what else Plutarch will tell him, but it probably won't be the same information I know.

I ended up eating breakfast with Mags before heading down. Finnick was just waking up when I started to head down. I was already a bit late to get there and he likely will want to make a fashionable entrance.

When I got there only 1, 2, 3, 6, 11, and 12 had both victors there. There were around half the victors here. I ended up chatting a bit with Chaff, who loudly asked where Finnick was, and if he was with one of his capital "friends". While I don't hate Chaff, he does get on my nerves, this being one of the times. Atla started her normal speech right on time. Giving the list of stations, both combat and survival skills, and releasing us to train. Finnick ended up bursting halfway through making a commotion. He tried to be quiet, but the slam of the doors made that unattainable. He swung his arm around me and ended up giving out a few waves.

I ended up starting with some of the stations I needed refreshers in. I was confident in my hand-to-hand, my weapons, and knot-tying. I ended up at the insect station with Seeder. I liked her far more than her district partner, especially after this morning. Finnick ended up talking with Katniss, definitely getting on her nerves because just a few minutes after talking she walked off towards a different station.

I end up moving to the hammocking station, where Finnick joined me.

"What was it this time?"

"What? Me? I am completely innocent. I would never do anything"

The only response that I got from me was a deadpan glare. It only took a couple of moments for him to explain what happened." All I did was offer some help with a knot she was having trouble with. I just offered her a better one after."

"And which one would that be?", lifting the end of my sentence.

"Ohh… you know… a noose"

I could help but smile at that. I tried to not give him the satisfaction, but it was funny. His sense of humor may be morbid, but it still gets me.

"See. Hilarious wasn't it?"

"You may be coming off a bit too strong. She is a silent and guarded type. You can't start cracking jokes right away… but yeah it was.

We ended up splitting after that station. He ended up chatting with Blight a bit and I went over to the shelter station where the two district 3 victors and Katniss arrived at a similar time

Beetee and Wiress are small in stature with ashen skin and black hair. Wiress speaks in a quiet, intelligent voice. She has a soft face, a few wrinkles adorning her, showing her age. She has a habit of trailing off her words in mid-sentence as if she's forgotten you're even there. She reminds me a bit of Mags where she has good and bad days. Beetee is helpful with finishing her sentences. Beetee is fidgety and is always pushing up his glasses. Both are incredibly smart.

I caught a bit of their conversation, "No, no. There by the corner of the table. You can just ..." says Wiress.

Beetee squints under his glasses. "Just make it out."

"What are you all talking about?" I was hoping I wasn't intruding, but I was curious.

Beetee ends up pointing out to the gamemakers' stands where Plutarch is roaming around. Following his arm, I see what they were talking about. A small patch, a square shape, by the corner of the table is vibrating. The air, rippling in waves distorting what lies behind it.

"A force field. They've set one up between the Game-makers and us. I wonder what brought that on," Beetee says.

Katniss answers his question, "Me, probably," Rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. "Last year I shot an arrow at them during my private training session."

I can't help but grin at that. I would give a lot to see that in person. Shooting an arrow at the Gamemakers? I can't help but picture Seneca running around, eyebrows drawn up, yelling about the audacity of a District 12 tribute.

She continued, "I was provoked. So, do all force fields have a spot like that?". Quickly changing the subject.

"Chink," says Wiress vaguely.

"In the armor, as it were," finishes Beetee. "Ideally it'd be invisible, wouldn't it?"

They shared a glance, communicating telepathically almost. Something was going unsaid, but I wasn't able to pull it out of them. Power must be short. I guess Plutarch was right when he said the rebellion is growing far stronger. If the Capital is this short on power, I wonder if the arena force field will be visible as well?

Lunch is called before we can continue talking. Finnick waved me over. We ended up sitting in a giant circle. Finnick, Jo and Blight, and District 1 sat near me. It was certainly awkward on my end. Gloss kept making innuendos, and Jo was glancing between the 3 of us. While I never really hid Gloss' and I's friendship, I certainly didn't tell Finnick about it.

After lunch, I wanted to get my hands on some weapons. I wanted to move more. After hours of sitting in one place, I stretched a bit and ended up going a few rounds with Jo in the ring. Finnick was watching, constantly shouting unhelpful suggestions, frequently making dirty jokes. Whistling as I took my top off. I still had underclothes on, and he has certainly seen me in less, everyone has after that photoshoot. Besides, Johanna was far more underdressed than me anyways. He did send a glare over the Chaff when he said, 'gonna be thinking about this later' when Jo and I were rolling around.

Finnick wanted to try the simulator, a new station since we were both here. We needed to show off a bit. We need Katniss and Peeta to want to be our allies. Our weapons of choice are all present, in hopes of victors showing off their skills. Finnick ends up grabbing a trident and strapping two to his back. I grabbed a set of knives, placed them on my chest and waist, and then grabbed my signature dual spears.

With 22 simulated victors, the cannon goes off. It barely took any time at all. We are fluent and seemingly effortlessly wipe out everyone. Ducking under each other to cover, tossing weapons in exchange when needed, and constantly switching sides and opponents. Wielding a trident is different, but I am proficient, and Finnick is equally as good with a spear. It was silent by the time we finished. Everyone stopped to watch, besides the morphlings who were busy swirling paint on each other. Johanna ended up breaking the silence, "Moher, where was all that effort earlier? Get your ass over here, I want a rematch!"

I ended up speaking more to Katniss later. I was at the fishing station. Needing a quieter area after all the noise Jo made earlier. The instructor didn't even try to teach me anything. I had been working on boats all my life and I come from a long line of fishermen. Katniss came up about half an hour into me practicing. I didn't speak much. Which I think she preferred. I gave her a few pointers and sent a smirk and a nod of encouragement when she made a good hook out of a bent nail and fastened it to some strands of her hair. She ends up thanking me and moving on to the archery station. It is her turn to show off a bit.

After training, Finnick finally asks, "Since when have you and Gloss been a thing?"

I knew he picked up on something at lunch. He had just waited until we were finally alone. We walked over towards the fireplace and got into our usual spot. Me on the left and him on my right.

"We aren't really a thing. Just more like acquaintances that occasionally have sex?" Well, acquaintances aren't the word, but we are not together like that", I had taken a piece of rope from the training room and am currently fiddling with it. Tying and untying knots.

I continued, "And what little we had ended last night anyway".

Finnick didn't really react that much. At least vocally, "Ohh… okay". He was extremely uncomfortable at lunch, and even now, his jaw was clenched.

When I went to talk more about it, "I just figured-" he ended up interrupting me, "No, it's okay, I was just wondering why you never talked about it with me?"

"Not a lot of people knew about it. Just Jo and Cashmere" I quickly responded.

"And I didn't tell you about it because we don't really talk about the Capital or Snow, and Gloss and I, what little we had, was interwoven with that". I definitely could never tell how Gloss and I came to be…

Continuing, "-And, what I had with him was temporary. All it was, was a brief moment of comfort in the Capital. If it had meant something I would have told you. And Finnick… it could never mean something. Not when…" I trail off. We had never really explicitly said anything about us. Our feelings towards each other. I thought it went without saying that I was in love with him. But maybe it wasn't.

I turn towards him and grasp his hands in mine. "Finnick. You are the closest person to me. Probably the closest I will let anyone ever be besides Monty. You are my person." I can't say I love him any other way. I hope he understands what I am trying to say to him. I think he does because he ends up pulling me closer.

"I know Mo. You and me"

"You and me, Finnick."

Finnick ended up leaving to go meet with Plutarch and whoever else, probably another mentor, or a tribute or two. Talking about Gloss certainly brought back a lot…

5 years earlier…

I was already tired of these capital parties. It had only been a couple of months' worth too, there are years of this to go. After I won, Finnick said it would be like this. Of course, he thought I had another year like he did. The past few months have been worse than the games were. At least there I didn't have any time to think. Here I have nothing but time to regret. To mourn. To remember the arena. And now… apparently I am worth a pretty coin. Snow says it's good I like women and men, that makes it easier. Some don't, and still have to be with whoever Snow 'loans' them too.

I don't know how Finnick's stomachs this. I can't spend years like this. I can't spend my life like this. In the deepest part of me, I can admit I wish I didn't win. I wish Lacey had won. I wish I could be with Montane. Dead and set out to sea with Ma. Then I think of Dad and Ridley. His innocent smile, his joy that I made it back home.

Finnick's advice from that first day remains true. I have become who they want me to be, what Snow wants me to be. It is getting easier to play this part. I think that is one of the worst parts. It is getting easier, and I don't want it to be easier to be an empty body with a personality that matches the airheads of the capital.

Tonight I met up with my 'client' at the party. They are hosting. It isn't the largest party I have been to, it's no victory tour, but it is certainly one of the larger ones. They have been dragging me around the past two hours, showing me off to their friends. She is always touching me. Holding my hand, brushing her knuckles against my face, or squeezing my cheek. Her voice was one of the worst ones I have heard. Capital accent to the core.

She ended up bringing me over to some more people I had previously met. Cashmere, a victor from 1, was hanging off a man with bright orange hair, and her brother, another victor from 1, were all standing together.

She ended up ignoring Cashmere and the man and just latched onto Gloss and we continued on our way. For some reason Gloss was alone, which I have found very rarely do our 'friends' ever leave us alone. Erene (the lady currently grasping Gloss and I), ends up answering this question.

"So, have you both met each other?

Gloss ends up replying to her before I could. "Yes, I was fortunate enough to talk to her on her Victory Tour a few months ago."

"Good. Good. That will make this whole thing a lot easier. You know, I never would have thought President Snow would let me hang on to both of you together. I was surprised he let me be so selfish as to request you both in one night!"

"Both… of us?" was all I could choke out of my surprise. Finnick never told me about this. Looking over at Gloss he remained straight faced. I could not tell if he was as shocked as I was. He didn't seem so… Maybe he had done this before.

Erene never answered. Perhaps she just took that as a rhetorical question. We went back to circling around the party. Conversing and eating more food. Gloss didn't seem fazed at all. He continued with his wide grin and charm. I felt numb. Everything was muffled. I wasn't prepared for this. I haven't even gotten used to normal 'friends' let alone ones that like multiple victors. Gloss sent some softer smiles my way periodically through the night. He helped me engage more in conversation. Erene sent us out to dance together towards the end of the night. Said she ;just wanted to watch us together'. What little grip I had of myself was gone at that comment. Gloss ended up having to grab me and pull me over to the dance floor. Luckily it was a slow song so it was easier for him to help me get moving again.

I wasn't able to talk very loud, "Have you done this before?". It barely came out as a whisper but he was still able to hear it.

"No"

My breath was shakky. I don't think I have been so shaken since the first time I had woken up screaming from a nightmare.

"But, I'll be there for you. You won't be alone"

That night hadn't been completely awful. It was certainly awkward. I didn't have much experience with guys prior, but Erene liked that. It hadn't happened that much afterwards. Just 3 times, always Gloss and I. Always with Erene. I hated her. I still hate her. It was gross. I had never felt as much of an object as with her. But, she is the reason why Gloss and I became closer. The reason we started talking.

Two nights ago…

"Thanks, I needed that" breaks the silence. I know he did, I could tell by the way he took control. He kept it soft for me, but I could tell the reporter hadn't let him do much. His wrists are still red. Most 'friends' of Snow like that they can display power over a Victor. We were a sweaty pile of limbs tangled together, but we still held each other. It was nice being held like this. In an affectionate way, not the possessive way. It also helps that it is our choice. After all that is what this started as. These meetings. A way for us to have bodily autonomy over ourselves and feel comfort. Almost a form of revenge on the capital. A f*** you to Snow, that he doesn't completely control our bodies.

"I needed it too. I met Quintin earlier." Gloss knows all about Quintin and his tastes. Even underwent a few 'sessions' himself before I came along.

"I should probably go," I say. Not moving in the slightest. My cheek resting on his chest and my lashes brushing his skin.

"Yeah, you probably should." Still he keeps his arms around me. Neither of us are moving.

"5 more minutes."

We lay in silence for far more than 5 minutes. Eventually Gloss ends up speaking, "Don't."

He paused; paused far longer than normal. "Don't what?"

"Don't sacrifice yourself for 'fish boy'', he uses his favorite name for Finnick.

"Choose yourself. Let 'im go, he can take care of himself." Before I can object to this he continues. "Ally yourself with the other Careers and I. I know you don't like the concept of Careers, but we are the strongest. And Cash and I will help you until we can't".

I shifted my head. My cheek is still resting on his chest, but now looking up at him. "We both know that wouldn't work out very well…You will always choose to protect your sister, just like I'll always protect Finnick"

He lets out a sigh, "I know it was a long shot"

A minute or two later he asks, "Why do you love him so much?"

I don't really have an answer to that. I just did. I responded with a question, "Can anyone really explain love?". It seems to placate him, I suppose it was a good enough answer to his question.

"Would it be bad to say I hope you go quickly? I don't want to be the one that has to hurt you."

"No."

A/N: Okay, look. There is a large age gap between Maria and Gloss. I understand it's like 5-6 years. In no way do I endorse or support that large of an age gap, especially when the younger one is a minor.

In this case, though, I think a relationship blooming due to shared trauma is realistic, especially with another trauma bond together, in the form of having to 'perform' for someone. THAT DOES NOT mean it is healthy.