Author's Note: Very late, but Happy Halloween everyone! Enjoy!

Never-Ending Stages

Remus sat at the kitchen table, pouring over a book on Grindylows for about the hundredth time. He could probably recite this entire book word-for-word, but he didn't care much, especially not today. He heard the fast pattering of feet along the floor of the entryway approaching the kitchen. Teddy quickly rounded the corner and ran next to Remus, holding his wrist out towards him.

He was dressed in his Halloween costumes- a superhero from comics that Dora had showed him that she had read when she was younger. It was some sort of a spider crossed with a boy.

"I just shot you with my web," Teddy announced excitedly.

"Did you now," asked Remus with a smile as he turned in his chair to face his son. "What does that mean for me, then?"

"You're stuck," said Teddy.

"Oh? For how long," asked Remus with a small laugh.

"Till I say so," said Teddy. He paused for a moment, "you can move now."

Remus chuckled before bending down and picking Teddy up, sitting him down on his lap. He ruffled the hair dark blue hair that was on top of Teddy's head. "You're a very cute spider...thing..."

Teddy pouted, "I don't want to be cute! Spider man is supposed to be tough!"

"Well you are," Remus assured him, "I'm about five times your size and you captured me with only your web- that's pretty tough."

Teddy smiled, "What are you going to be, Da?"

"Dressing up is for you, I'm too old to dress up," said Remus.

"You have to! Even Hope is!"

"Is Mum dressing up?"

"She made her hair orange and black, but you didn't do that!"

Remus smiled, "remember that only you, Mum, and Hope can do that, I can not."

"You should still dress up," Teddy pushed.

"Maybe next year, Ted," said Remus, ruffling the boy's hair again as he lowered him back to the ground. "What time are you, Mum, and Hope going out?" Teddy shrugged. "Where is your Mum anyways?"

"Hope's room," said Teddy. Remus nodded and stood up before walking out of the kitchen, through the living room, and down the hall to Hope's room; Teddy following close behind him. He walked through the doorway as Tonks was walking out, holding Hope against her hip, causing them to almost collide in the doorway. Sure enough- her hair was half orange and half black, split right down the center at the part of her hair, which was barely reaching past her ears today.

"Hey," she said breathlessly as she regained her balance- a very good thing since she was holding a toddler. Remus held onto the sides of her arms, allowing for her to completely steady herself. "Are you ready to go?"

"I didn't realize that I was going," Remus admitted.

Tonks placed Hope down on the ground and looked to both her and Teddy, "you two go wait in the living room; I'll be out in a moment." The two of them scurried off into the next room as Tonks turned to face him again.

"I'm sorry," Remus said immediately, almost like a reflex.

"For what," Tonks asked, confused.

"For erm- I figured..that..."

"Remus, I would love for you to join us, but if you aren't feeling up for it, that is totally understandable," said Tonks gently.

"It just feels odd celebrating anything when my entire life fell apart on this day...twenty-one years ago," said Remus. He paused before taking a deep breath, "it's weird, everyone will have to stop telling Harry that he looks so much like James because no one knows what he would've looked like at Harry's age."

"I've never thought of that," said Tonks.

"I've had a lot of time to think about it over the years," said Remus. "What time are you all going?"

"Speaking of- Harry said he wanted to come with us, so whenever he gets here," Tonks told him.

"If Harry's going, I guess I have no excuse not to then," said Remus pathetically.

"You're allowed to grieve, Remus," said Tonks, wrapping her arms around his waist. "No matter how long it's been, it's still going to hurt, and you're allowed to grieve still. You lost your family that night; you're allowed to be upset over that."

"Everyone talks about the five stages of grief; I've accepted it, but I feel like I've been circling through the other four for over two decades."

"It's probably never going to end, but it's just something that you have to push through...for them."

"For them."

wc: 799

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