Chapter 6
Troubles are coming
''Hiccup !'' A voice shouted from outside.
Both startled and backed, Toothless bounced and turned to the entry while Jack squeezed his arms around Sharpshot, trying to protect him from an upcoming danger.
''It's Valka,'' Hiccup muttered despite evident panic. ''Ruffnut and Snotlout were supposed to- Argh, I knew I couldn't count on them.''
''Are we in trouble ?'' Jack hesitated.
''Not yet, but we have to get you out of here, and quick.''
Hiccup got up and took Sharpshot, holding him in one arm and using the other to take Jack's hand and lift him to his feet. He dragged him in the other room, where the other dragons were. Jack wanted to look at them, noticing some of them were asleep, a few piled on each others like kittens, none of them locked in a cage, but he got distracted as Hiccup's hand let go of his to grab his shoulder instead.
''Look Jack, I'll try and distract them. Use the backdoor, noone will see you and you'll can go back home.''
''What about you ?''
Despite his hurry, Hiccup smiled tenderly.
''Don't worry about me. You should worry about yourself, right now.''
''Hiccup ! Son !'' The voice shouted.
''Go, now.''
Jack nodded and headed to the backdoor of the tent. It was actually just an curtain-like opening like the one at the front, but this one was larger, as if sized for dragons. The boy grabbed the curtain and was about to open it and leave when he felt a warm hand wrap around his wrist. He turned and looked at Hiccup, who was still frantic but also seemed nervous and… reluctant ?
''Wait !'' The auburnet said, ''Wait a second.''
Jack felt once again the urge to stay, but he resisted it. Hiccup visibly had gotten himself in trouble by keeping him at the camp after the show, and Jack was sure to end up in the same case if he wasn't coming back to the farm before sunrise. His face paled as he imagined how people would react if he was to be suddenly gone. Jonathan, Mary, even chief Nigel. It would be frantic panic at the village, everyone would be freaking out and preparing for a terrible curse. He would be blamed for the baddest witchcraft and, worst of all, if they learnt he had went to Burgess… It couldn't end up well.
But still Hiccup's eyes were enough to tilt the balance. No, no, he couldn't give in. He couldn't risk it. Who knew what could happen to the Hooligan Circus if the villagers convinced themselve Jack had put a spell on them, or cursed them. Hiccup licked his lips anxiously, seemingly searching for what to say. When Jack tried to pull back his wrist, the tamer held him back and sputtered at top speed.
''Will I see you again ? I'd like to, tomorrow night, please ?''
Jack hesitated. He wanted to accept right away, but had he really had the right to ? It wasn't like the ones who used to be his parents were watching him at night, but he already had taken a lot of risks by coming here tonight. Someone could spot him in the forest, on his go or back, and who could foresay which kind of accusations paranoia could make them utter. Could he really take the risk two nights in a row ? But at the same time, he realised he really wanted to see Hiccup and his dragons again, especially Hiccup.
He had not known such warmth and kindness since the accident, and it had already been three years. Almost four. Almost four years without any touch, any smile adressed to him, any comforting word, any caring. Almost four years drowned in the cold, it had digged a hole deep inside of him, a hole he had barely noticed before that night. Moreover, the Hooligan Circus was only staying at Burgess for three days, and it was already the second night. The following day was going to be his only chance to see Hiccup again, before he left forever.
So yes, he had to take the risk. He opened his mouth, meaning to accept coming back, but his voice got stucked in his throat as the backdoor suddenly opened, revealing the ringmistress. Her eyes widened as they landed on Jack, then she frowned and shouted :
''Here !''
Hiccup quickly pushed Jack outside, the boy almost tripping before he caught himself and aimed to flee. However, he barely had time to take a step as someone caught his collar. He couldn't do anything as he was hoisted backward and thrown to the ground. Once again. Just the fourth time in the night. He was getting a bit too intimate to the ground for his liking. He rolled on his back and looked up to find a young man towering over him, angry and threatening. He looked a lot like Ruffnut, as tall as her and same thin but strong build, but his hair was groomed into blond dreadlocks. Even his face looked like hers. Without a word, he grabbed Jack's arm so harshly the boy thought he wanted to break it.
''Tuffnut, leave him alone !'' Hiccup shouted, coming out of the tent.
The dragon tamer aimed to step in but was held back by a hand on his shoulder.
''Hiccup !''
He turned and found Valka, her face frowned into worry.
''Son, are you alright ?''
''Mom, what… ?''
''Tuffnut told me everything.''
''Told you what ?''
''Let me go !'' Jack squeaked.
Hiccup and his mother looked to the unfair struggle going on next to them. Valka's hand tightened on the auburnet.
''Don't worry, I'll take care of this.'' She said, anger burning in her voice.
Hiccup had a bad feeling about this. Visibly, Tuffnut had told something to her, but what exactly ? Since the tamer had left with Jack, he had no idea what Snotlout and Ruffnut had been up to. Ruffnut wouldn't have set this up after defending the boy from Snotlout, and the stocky guy had realised his mistake. Maybe Tuffnut had overheard their conversation and jumped to conclusions. Hiccup felt bad for the boy : a second misunderstanding was getting him into trouble, in the same night. As if being beaten up with Ruffnut had not been enough. Whatever the misunderstanding was, Tuffnut and Valka were infuriated. Though his mother used to be soft and lenient.
Jack was struggling as he could but Tuffnut's arms were too strong for him, holding him in place. Well, he had to admit he was more like the bony type and was weak. His limbs were so thin the blond could break it easily, easier than Snotlout had smashed that log on the stage. Jack doubted he could make it out of this without injuries, and that would only bring him more troubles at the village. He could already feel pain bloom in the wrist Tuffnut was holding, along with his middle trapped in the guy's other arm. He tried to kick his legs but he was only beating himself each time he hit Tuffnut's legs.
He froze as the ringmistress stepped closer to them, clenched fists, her once kind eyes shadowed by a glare. She seemed to be a completely different person, like a lioness out of her den to protect her cubs from a predator.
''How dare you ?!'' She barked, ''how dare you go after my troupe ?! Beat up Ruffnut, blackmail her ?! Threatening to ruin my circus' reputation ?!''
''Wait, mom, it's a misunderstanding…'' Hiccup tried.
''Hiccup, help !'' Jack begged, still stirring in Tuffnut's grip.
''This circus is all we have left,'' Valka added, she sounded even more furious. ''All that keep us alive, and protect our dragons. I won't let you ruin this !''
''I vote we get rid of him.'' Tuffnut growled.
''You… You're going to kill me ?!'' Jack shook.
''No !'' Hiccup protested.
Jack started to shake uncontrollably. He knew he had to keep his composure, but knowing the artists wanted to kill him… Fear took the best out of him, like an exploding volcano, and the simple thought of going back to this cold abyss only to come back once more, surely even more abnormal and cursed… He couldn't take it. He couldn't stay calm. And while his fear exploded, his powers did too.
A strong gust of wind and snow envelopped him, hitting and ejecting Tuffnut, who quickly let go of him before falling backward. Once Jack touched the ground, the grass around him covered in a thick layer of frost and ice. As he realised what was happening, his fear only grew more intense. Hiccup and his mother stepped back while Tuffnut sat up, his face and hair covered with snow and ice. Ruffnut and Snotlout, visibly alerted by all the commotion, had arrived to see the explosion, and also got some damages from it. Especially Snotlout. Covered head to toe in snow, the stocky dark-haired guy pointed a finger to Jack.
''M-M-Magic !'' He screamed. ''It's magic ! He's a freaking warlock !''
Jack shrunk on himself as the wind was still blowing hard and howling around him, wipping his hair, his cape and the grass, as if trying to keep the troupe away from him. He hugged and rocked himself, trying to calm down and get a grasp on his magic. But nothing was helping, because he couldn't calm down. How could he as they had just found him out ? They were going to consider him a monster, too, even attack him. They were going to talk about it around them, rumors would spread in Burgess and reach the village, reach chief Nigel. Jack didn't dare imagine what was going to happen after this, and it was only feeding his fear and panic.
However, all of a sudden, everything stopped. A warm hand grabbed his shoulder, a soft voice talking to him.
''Hey, calm down. It's okay, Jack.''
He sniffed and looked up to meet a pair of forest green eyes. The eyes were full of confusion, but no trace of fear. The raging wind lifted instantly, though frost and ice didn't melt, and Jack started to shiver, just like he was doing everytime after his powers went berserk like this. He was cold. His skin always was, but after every single use of this strange magic, he was feeling this cold.
Jack remained still for a moment, then he closed his eyes and folded on himself, hiding his face in his arms, refusing to look at Hiccup. No doubts the tamer just needed a bit of time to swallow his initial shock and get afraid of Jack, and turn his back on him.
''What just happened ?'' Valka hesitated.
Jack shook his head in his arms, he didn't want to answer their questions, he just wanted to disappear. Hiccup's warm hand didn't seem wanting to leave his shoulder, and soon something else touched him. A heavy, rough mass pressed against his back, so heavy he almost toppled forward. Hiccup caught him and Jack looked behind him to see Toothless, who was watching him with concerned eyes. Sharpshot was there too, he climbed on Jack's lap and nudged his arm, whining faintly. The boy sniffed again but couldn't bring himself to react.
''I don't understand…'' Valka breathed.
Hiccup, thought he was still supporting Jack, both his hands on the boy's cold, shaking shoulders, gave a pained look to his mother. He wanted to explain but was interrupted by the clapping sound of Ruffnut hitting the dreadlocks guy.
''What did you tell her, you idiot ?!''
''What ?! This kid beats you up and blackmail you to see a bonus show for free, was I supposed to just let it go ?!''
''That's not what happened, stupid !''
''How was I supposed to know ?!''
''By asking me, duh !''
While the two started to argue and even come to hands, Valka gave an annoyed look at Snotlout. He got the message and went to the two blonds to separate them. Grabbing them both by the collar, he managed to lift them off the ground even if they were taller than him. It barely stopped them as they started to punch and kick the air towards the other.
''The three of you, in my tent.'' Valka ordered.
Then she turned to Hiccup and Jack. Her eyes softened a bit, more confused than angry, and her voice lowered too.
''You two as well. You have to give me an explanation.''
Hiccup gave a bit more time for Jack to calm down, then helped him up. A slight grimace proved Jack's hands were too cold for him, so the boy quickly pulled them back and hid them under his cape, trying to warm them up, though he knew it was helpless. Valka led them to her tent and offered a chair to Jack, who sat in complete silence, staring down at the ground. Hiccup took a sit behind the desk while Valka remained standing, just leaning on the wooden desk, arms crossed over her chest. The three others remained standing by the entry, sheepish.
Jack accepted the water pint the ringmistress gave him, hoping some water would help him, but he winced as it froze. He had not tempered his mood yet, his magic was still showing. Frost patterns even bloomed on his clothes. It was because he was far from calm on the inside. He was sick worried. He couldn't help but wonder what they were going to do with him, now that they knew he wasn't normal.
''I have to say I was taken aback by what happened outside,'' Valka said. ''But it doesn't discharge you, boy. Now, I want answers. Who are you, and why did you threathened my circus and troupe ?''
Jack's worry increased. He couldn't see when he had threatened the circus, surely the young man called Tuffnut had heard and twisted the conversation he had had with Hiccup, Ruffnut and Snotlout. After all, Jack had never threatened anyone, he had barely dared insist to see the dragons, but it was true he had used to his advantage the fact Ruffnut had scamed him. He thought fast, trying to find a story to tell, a story that would avoid further troubles to Hiccup and the other artists.
''I… I didn't mean it to go that far,'' he ended up saying. ''I just wanted to see Hiccup's dragons, but…''
He swallowed hard and squeezed his fingers around the pint, unable to find something else to say. If he talked about the money, Ruffnut would be in troubles. Even more if he said she was the one to bring him to the camp in the first place. If he said Hiccup had accepted to show him his dragons, the tamer would be the one in troubles. According to Jack, the best thing to do was shoulder all the responsability, but how was he supposed to do that ? Should he pretend he really blackmailed them ?
Increasingly nervous, he started to shake anew and knew that, if he didn't speak soon, it would be suspicious. However, when he was about to open his mouth, he got cut by a long sigh from Ruffnut.
''It's my fault.'' She admitted.
Jack started and looked up at her. She was hanging her head low, rubbing her upper arm as if she was cold. Tuffnut eyed her as if she had grown a second head. As to Snotlout, he looked guilty.
''I'm the one who brought him at the camp and offered him another show, just for him.''
''Why did you do that ?'' Tuffnut asked, scandalised, just before she punched him.
''He saved me, okay ? Some dickheads from the village cornered me. They were taller and stronger than him, but he still came to my rescue and got beaten in the process. I just wanted to thank him, that's all. Poor kid, you guys didn't go easy on him, first Snotlout and now you !''
Jack lowered his head in shame. Weirdly, the fact Ruffnut had told everything and shouldered the responsability filled him with guilt. Somehow, he couldn't help but think that, if he had refused to follow Ruffnut, or if he had simply accepted the change and gone home, nothing of this would have happened.
''Sorry for these idiots.'' Ruffnut told him.
Jack only nodded as a reply, eyes still focused on the ground.
''And can we know why these kids went after you in the first place ?'' Valka inquired, suspicious.
''Huh… I… They wanted to racketeer me ?''
The older of both women gave a jaded look at the younger, clearly not convinced by her story.
''Okay, I scamed them at the entrance and refused to repay them.''
''And I suppose they're not the only ones you scamed.''
Jack was surprised by the among of reproaches Valka was able to fit in her words. Ruffnut looked hesitantly at him, but he quickly lowered back his head. The exchange didn't went unoticed by the woman with the auburn long braids.
''I see.''
The boy hesitantly looked up at her, and noticed her whole face had changed. Her blue-green eyes softened and he recognized one again the soft woman from the stage.
''It's really noble of you to have helped her despite of this. You didn't have to, especially with what she did to you.''
Jack didn't answer and looked back to the ground, still holding the pint in his hands. The water was still frozen, and his clothes still frosted. Because Jack was still troubled, his swirling emotions feeding the magic. He had troubles understanding how these people could still talk to him, and stay in the same room as him.
''And I'm sorry for earlier. For threathening you like this. I didn't really mean to hurt you, just scare you… I'm sorry, really. It's just that… we already have had problems in the past. This circus is all we have left. Granted we don't have luxurious life, we're always on the go, but we gain enough money to eat and this place is like a home for each of us. We can't afford to loose it.''
''I understand…'' Jack whispered.
He could relate, actually. For he had no home anymore, nor family, he could understand what one would do to protect his own. Knowing they weren't going to kill him finally reassured him, even if he was still wondering why they weren't minding his strange powers. He decided it was best to ask than remain in the doubt.
But he didn't have the chance to ask as Valka turned towards Ruffnut. Even if the boy could only see Valka from the back, it was obvious she was severe and a bit scary judging by her crossed arms and Ruffnut's sudden tension.
''Now, Ruffnut…''
The blonde's face paled.
''I thought I had made myself clear last time. About these robs and scams. What's gotten on you, for Thor's sake ? Is it that hard to just give change ?''
Ruffnut averted her eyes with hindrance, but didn't answer. She only drew circles on the ground with her foot. Valka sighed and pinced her nosebridge.
''I'm seriously starting to tire of constantly repeating this to you. Your brother, Snotlout and you had broken my rules several times, but this time it's enough. I already told you we were running an honest business, I don't want any of your fights, rubs and even less scams ! You put our whole circus in danger. If people linked these mugs to us, they won't come anymore and we'll loose our jobs, and the protection for our dragons, and for ourselve ! You put all of us in danger for a couple coins !''
''But we need that money !''
''No ! What we need before anything else is our public ! I'm tired of moving heaven and earth for the three of you. I want you to leave.''
''What ?!'' Tuffnut and Snotlout blenched.
''You can't do this, Valka !'' Ruffnut begged, gesturing wildly. ''You promised to look after us !''
''And you promised to follow my rules and protect our family. You didn't.''
''P-Please Valka, it won't happen again, I swear ! Just give us another chance !''
''It's too late, I already gave you several chances. I'm sorry, Ruffnut, but it's over.''
The blonde pressed her hands on her face, tears rolling down her cheeks. Her brother hugged her but it was obvious he was just as shaken as her. As to Snotlout, he was frozen, shocked. Jack doubted he had even realised what had just happened. Hiccup looked shocked, too. Jack could only guess it was because it wasn't the woman's habits to get that angry, but visibly they had pushed her too far this time.
''Mom-'' The tamer tried.
''Wait !'' Jack stepped in.
The boy stood up and left his pint on the chair. All eyes on him, he held himself from stepping too close to the woman.
''You can't just chase them like this, they belong here !''
Valka was the most astonished of the room and found herself speechless while the boy kept on begging her.
''You said yourself this circus is a family, their family ! You can't just abandon your family ! Please, keep them !''
Jack felt his heart sink because this situation, though it was different, with different people, reminded him sickly of his own parents turning their back on him.
''I-I…'' Valka stuttered.
As she was pinned by Jack's begging eyes, none of them saw Hiccup smile behind her mother's desk. The tall and graceful woman with greying hair cast a look towards the three artists she was throwing out, but she found their depressed faces just as unbearable as Jack's eyes.
''I suppose the boy is right… Fine, I allow you to stay.''
''Really ?!'' The twins gasped.
''Yes, but I swear to the Gods, Ruff, if you ever do something like this again-''
''Thank you, Valka !'' The blonde yelled as she threw herself at the woman's neck.
She stood frozen, taken aback, while Ruffnut kept on bouncing excitedly and turned to Jack. She hugged him and even lifted him from the ground, spinning him around. When she finally put him back down, her brother came him and Jack huffed in-between them.
''And you, you're really my heroe ! You saved me twice tonight !''
Hiccup chuckled and stood from his chair, stepping closer to them.
''Easy guys, you're going to choke him.''
''Not sorry !'' They snickered in chorus.
Jack caught his breath as they finally released him.
''Seriously, thank you kiddo.'' Tuffnut added.
The teen boy smiled faintly as a response to the bright smile the twins were giving him, then he felt someone tap his shoulder. Turning around, he found Snotlout, who seemed disgruntled. Just like the twins, his face was stained with frostbites, but he seemed to have taken it worst than Tuffnut. Jack tensed and let out a nervous chuckle.
''Right, huh… Sorry for earlier… I hope I didn't hurt you ?''
He suddenly feared the stocky guy would beat him as revenge, but the bushy brown eyebrows rose in surprise, then Snotlout gave him a sheepish smile.
''M'fine, no probs. Actually, I wanted t'say sorry. And… thanks.''
He patted the boy's frail shoulder.
''You're a good guy.''
The words moved Jack. At first, he took it as a compliment, but soon it echoed with countless memories of the past four years, all the mean words and silences, the whispers about him, the names… and all of the sudden Snotlout's words became bittersweet. Like a lie which was nice to hear, but far from the truth.
''Huh… Thank you.'' Jack mumbled in reply, hesitant and even reluctant.
Snotlout lifted an eyebrow, seemingly sensing something odd about it.
''Alright,'' Valka said as she clapped her hands to catch their attention. ''Now that this problem is solved, I'd like to make an offer to you.''
It caught Jack's interest, especially hearing her kind tone. He faced her and found her smiling at him, while the others in the room seemed curious about this offer.
''What you did with this magic was really impressive.''
Jack tensed unwillingly and felt his heart pound with anxiety. Though she didn't seem afraid about his odd magic, actually she seemed impressed, amazed even. It was the first time Jack was seeing such reaction. He had only known fear, disgust and horror.
''Have you ever thought of having your own show ?''
''W-What… ?''
''Will you join our troupe ?''
Jack couldn't believe it, and was even more dumbfounded by the artists' reaction. Hiccup smiled broadly while the twins nodded in excitement, Snotlout staring at him expectantly.
''Oh yeah, that'd be awesome !'' Ruffnut approved, grinning madly.
''A show of magic, wicked !'' Tuffnut added.
''Y'have t'come with us !'' Snotlout urged as if there was nothing to discuss about.
Once again, Jack felt warmth spread in his chest, swelling it pleasantly. He was really moved by their excitement to see him join them. However, even if they seemed to think his magic was something good, he suspected it was only because they didn't know how he had gotten it. If they knew what he was, how he had become this, there was no doubt they would be scared off and reject him, just like everyone did at the village.
After all, who would possibly want the company of a demon possessing a corpse ? No, he couldn't accept their offer. Seeing them turn their back on him would be too painful, and he knew he wouldn't be able to lie to them for long. The weight of what happened that day at the pond, and during the almost-four following years, it was too much of a burden to be hidden.
Moreover, who could say how the village would react to his missing ? And what if the word spread in the world ? If a member of his clan was to meet the circus elsewhere ? Having a demon in their troupe would ruin the circus' reputation and would condemn them all. No, they didn't deserve this.
So, soon, the faint smile on Jack's lips vanished, and he lowered his head.
''I can't.''
''What ?''
Surprise and disappointment could be heard in their voices.
''But why ?'' The twins asked.
''Don't get me wrong, I… I'd really like to come with you, really, but…''
He grimaced as his thoughts raged and swirled in his head. If he explained to them the real reason of his refusal, he was going to scare them off, they would call him monster and reject him, and he didn't want this to be their last conversation. So he searched for the only other excuse he could think of.
''I can't just leave like that. I can't leave my family.''
''S'no probs, they can com'along.'' Snotlout shrugged.
''They won't, they… They won't abandon the village nore the clan.''
And they would certainly never want to come with Jack, since they weren't considering him their son anymore.
Silence fell under the whole tent. Jack was not daring to look at them in the eye, he didn't want to see sadness and disappointement on their face. In the end, Valka was the one to break the silence.
''I understand…''
Her answer was final for the others, who seemed to resigned themselve. Valka still smiled softly to Jack and put her hands on his shoulders. They were strong but caring, and pleasantly warm.
''Still, know that, if you ever change your mind, my offer still stands. Our circus will be there to welcome you. All you have to do is find us.''
She stared at him for a moment, adding weight to her words with her eyes. Jack forced himself to smile back at her. He really wanted to believe she was sincere, she surely was genuine in this moment, but if she learnt what he was… she would be the one to change her mind.
''Now, I suppose you'd like to go back home. It's pretty dark and easy to get lost in the woods, so I should probably-''
''I'll walk him back !'' Hiccup volunteered.
''Huh, yeah, okay.''
Jack greeted goodbye to the artists and Valka, then Hiccup walked him outside. Toothless and Sharpshot went along and asked some pets to the pale boy. Sharpshot even climbed on Jack's shoulders on the way, while Hiccup was telling him some stories about the dragons. Jack savored the moment and asked a lot of questions, including how he had met the dragons he had in his tent. The tamer's passion showed in his joyful tone, his speech rate and the wild gestures of his hands.
When they reached the entrance of the circus, about to leave the camp, Hiccup stopped his story so he could ask the dragons to wait for him there, but none of them seemed to like it. Sharpshot refused to climb down Jack and even wrapped his tail around his neck to show he wanted to stay with him. One could have been uncomfortable to have something wrapped around their neck, but it didn't bother Jack. Actually, it moved him. The dragon wasn't even squeezing, anyway, unlike his head he was rubbing against Jack's cheek. Hiccup smiled at the display of affection.
''He really likes you.''
''I like him too,'' Jack smiled as he scratched the tiny beast's chin, making him purr.
The Terror accepted to remove his tail from the boy's neck, who took him in his arms. After some pets and cuddles, Jack looked up to Hiccup and met his eyes. The tamer was thoughtful, his green eyes looking at the equally green dragon, so Jack asked him what he was thinking about.
''What about you keep him ?'' Came the reply.
Jack blinked, stunned. It was hard for him to believe he had really heard that.
''Huh ?''
Once again, Hiccup gave him this peculiar smile and Jack quickly closed his gaping mouth, blushing uncontrollably.
''It's obvious Shapshot adores you. There's a bound between you two, the same kind as the one between Toothless and I. He wants to stay with you.''
''But you… You would let him go ?''
''I never forced a dragon to stay if he didn't want to. Each of my dragons is free to leave whenever they want, and I'm glad Sharpshot would be with someone like you. Someone who will take good care of him and treat him like a friend, not an animal.''
Jack was moved by the words, and this tender look. He looked down to the small dragon who was staring at him expectantly, contemplating the idea. Bringing Sharpshot back home with him, to keep him company, to accept him despite of what he had become… having a warm and friendly presence by his side, for the first time in almost four years… It really was tempting. But was he really able to take good of the dragon properly ? Would the farm be a good place for him ?
Jack paled thinking about it. What would Jonathan and Mary say ? A fire-breathing dragon in a wooden house, in a farm full of chickens, sheep and other animals he could scare or even hunt ? No, they would try and chase him off, and how would the villagers take White the Cursed having a dragon ?
Misery filled his heart as he realised he couldn't accept. Even if this small dragon was a promise of so many beautiful things for him, he could only bring pain to this marvelous creature. He was sick to the idea of the villagers going after Sharpshot, hurting him, even trying to kill him. This sensitive creature seemed to feel his sorrow as he started to whine. Jack closed his eyes and hugged him close, before he held him out to Hiccup.
''I can't. My parents won't accept him, and I doubt he'll like living at the farm. He better stay with you and the other dragons.''
Hiccup hesitated, his face covered with disappointment and sadness, but he ended up taking the small dragon. Sharpshot didn't agree and wiggled, holding his paws towards Jack. It was breaking the boy's heart, because it was hurting the dragon too. Everything would have been so easier if that accident had never happened. Then he would have been able to bring Sharpshot home with him, Emma would have adored him and would have helped him convince their parents to keep him, and the four of them would have taken good care of him, as part of their family. But there was no family left for him to join.
Hiccup charged Toothless to look after the small green dragon, then he hesitantly took Jack's hand to lead him in the woods. The auburnet really seemed to want to walk him home, but Jack knew the villagers mustn't see them together, or else they would deem Hiccup possessed by the demon or something. So he invented an excuse as he had sneaked out of his house while he was grounded and thus wasn't supposed to go see the circus. It wasn't that far from the truth, since he really wasn't allowed to go out like this, and actually Hiccup found this rebelious story funny.
It helped light up the mood. The auburnet accepted to only walk Jack back to his village, but he assured – turning it into a fake threat – that he wouldn't leave him beforehand. Jack chuckled at that, far from complaining about the tamer's company.
On their way, Hiccup told him a few more stories with the dragons, he seemed to be picking the most entertaining ones, including the time he had been entirely covered in slubber on stage when Toothless had decided to tackle him and lick him. It was the ebony dragon's favorite show of affection, but the public thought it was an attack at first. Jack had not laughed like that in years, it was giving him stomach ache and he had to wipe several tears of laughter.
''You know,'' Hiccup mused, ''I think this is the first time I meet someone who's as fond as dragons as I am. Even at the cirucs, the others don't really understand. I mean, they like dragons, yeah, but they're not really interested in them and tend to think of them as pets rather than sensible creatures. They don't see how each dragon is unique.''
''It's hard to believe that. I mean, it's hard not to like them. They're impressive, and powerful, and when you get to know them, there's so much more to see. They're softies, inside.''
''Not everyone can see it.''
''I think you make it easy to see.''
Hiccup averted his eyes and scratched his cheek. Jack realised that the tamer, behind his assurance and being tall and athletic, was actually kind of nervous, which resulted in a few tics. Scratching his cheek, rubbing the back of his hair, pulling at one the small braids decorating his hair, gesturing with his hands while talking, shrugging… He had a lot of ways to manage his nervousness. Jack had a few nervous tics too, but his consisted in running a hand in his hair, or fiddle with his clothes.
''I know I can get too passionate, sometimes.'' Hiccup said, ''And boring too-''
''Not at all. There's nothing boring in being passionnate.''
They smiled at each other, and Hiccup's kind eyes woke up Jack's urge to stay. He really wished he could just accept Valka's offer and leave with the circus, but he also knew it could only end badly. For him as well as the circus.
He had to go back to the village, and stay there. As they were walking, this time in a comfortable silence, Jack found it harder to keep on moving, harder to convince himself he had to – wanted to – go back.
Then came the moment he had come to dread. He spotted the first wooden houses of the village, poking out from the trees, a few bonfires lighting up the streets in the chilly night.
''There we are.'' He murmured.
''Yeah, huh, looks like it.''
Awkward silence loomed around them. It lasted a moment before the both of them started to speak at the same time.
''I should go-''
''You should probably go-''
''Not that I want to-''
''I don't mean-''
They stopped as they noticed they had talked at the same time, and almost said the same things. That made them laugh.
''Well, huh… So… Will you come back tomorrow night ?'' Hiccup asked, rubbing his nape.
Jack didn't manage to answer right away. He really wanted to say yes, but he was wondering if it was a good idea. It was already hard enough to deny Valka's offer, to refuse taking Sharpshot with him, and say goodbye to Hiccup in this moment. He had a feeling it would be worst if he was to see them again. Still he really wanted to.
''Sharpshot would be enchanted to see you tomorrow, you know.''
Jack felt like the auburnet wasn't really talking about the Terrible Terror. He would have lied saying he himself wouldn't have been ecstatic seeing the mischievous dragon again, and Hiccup as well.
''I… I'll think about it. I don't promise anything.''
Hiccup smile a half-smile which couldn't seem more forced, visibly not satisfied with the answer. Jack forced a smile too, because he felt like someone was ripping his heart apart. When he couldn't find the strength to pretend anymore, he lowered his head, and was stunned to find his hands in Hiccup's. He had not noticed they were holding hands, and he had to admit it was far from unpleasant. Hiccup's hands were warm, large, they were engulfing his own thin, fragile ones with a mixture of strength and care. Soft enough not to hurt him, strong enough to show he didn't want to let go. Jack stared at their hands for a moment, noting the difference of size and complexion. Hiccup's skin was freckled and sunkissed whereas Jack's looked like a snow sculpture, flawless but pale as death.
When he lifted his head, he met Hiccup's intense green eyes, the gaze stealing his breath. The auburnet was staring right at him with such intensity he seemed to be scanning the deepest part of his very soul. Jack felt like he couldn't hide anything to him, he felt exposed, vulnerable, with nothing to hide behind. It could have been scary, especially with his dark secrets, but it wasn't. Actually, it was nice.
While he was diving into that sunny forest, Hiccup's face inched closer to his. Just like back in the tent, Jack was dazed as he felt this warm breath brush his face, his fingers squeezing the tamer's by reflex, who came closer and started to close his eyes. Jack really wanted to just let him do it, he was dying for it, but he knew he couldn't.
''Please, no.''
That efficiantly stopped Hiccup. He opened his eyes and leaned back, his face now a bright red.
''I'm sorry, I… I didn't mean to pressure you. I just… I thought you…''
Jack sighed and lowered his head.
''What's the point ? You're leaving.''
For a moment, Hiccup didn't say anything, then he let go of one of Jack's hand to brush his chin, gently tilting his pale face up. When they eyes met again, Jack saw a soft smile on the freckled face.
''Our last representation is tomorrow night, but we always stay one more day before leaving. To rest and pack up. We still have time, you know. Maybe enough to convince you to come with us.''
Jack felt his heart swell painfully. Not trusting his voice not to shake, he slowly shook his head no. Hiccup's smile dropped instantly.
''I really can't change your mind, can I ?''
''It's not up to me…''
''Of course it is. You're the one to choose, in the end.''
Jack wanted to believe it. From all his heart he wanted to. If he had always been a normal human, maybe it would have been possible, but now… He felt like he had no control over his life anymore. His death had been stolen away from him, and now he was barely alive. For almost four years, he had been roaming aimlessly, completing tasks mindlessly, suffering stares, the lack of acknowledgement and love in his parents' eyes, the blames of killing his baby sister and the boy they thought he was not.
He had not felt warmth nor joy for four years, but they had came back tonight, at the circus, with Hiccup and his dragons. If he had the choice, Jack would have hold on this warmth, this light. He would have hold on and never let go. But he didn't have a choice. The village didn't dare to kill and throw him out, but they would certainly neither accepted him to just go missing. They would stir up scandal, saying the demon was spreading his curse and would warn the neighbour big cities. The circus would end up hearing about it, and the white-haired demon would be recognized sooner or later.
Accepting Valka's offer, accepting to follow Hiccup, would be putting them in danger. It would be selfish. So, in order to protect this marvelous light which managed to warm up his frozen heart, he had to give up on it. He had to go back in exile in cold and darkness.
''I should really go, now. It's been a pleasure to meet you and your dragons.''
''For me too.'' Hiccup replied, though there was no joy in his voice.
He gave a gentle squeeze to Jack's hands, the boy finding it increasingly hard to go as Hiccup was trying to hold him back. He tried not to grimace as he pulled his hands away from the warmth, instantly feeling the biting cold on his skin. He stepped back and started to leave.
''Goodbye.''
''See you tomorrow, Jack.''
The young boy froze in his steps, taken aback by the hope shining in Hiccup's voice. He didn't dare to look over his shoulder, because he knew that, if he was to meet these kind eyes one more time, he wouldn't be able to leave at all.
''Good night, Hiccup,'' he whispered before rushing so he could flee in the night.