Chapter 17
The four clans festival

Just like she had promised to, Ruffnut dragged Jack everywhere with her. The first day of the festival started with sport tournaments. Log throwing – in which Snotlout was aiming to beat all records – weight throwing, tug-of-war game – in which Eret, Astrid and Dagur spent all their day – but also calmer sports like cricket.

Ruffnut, followed by Tuffnut whow as trying to keep up, brought Jack to see as much sports as possible. Once they were spotting members of the hairy Hooligans' troupe, they would cheer them up and shouting at the top of their lungs. Slowly but surely, Jack managed to let go of negative thoughts, revive the friendship he had with the twins. It took the whole morning and a good portion of the afternoon, but he managed to smile again, and even get fun. It made the twins even more joyful and energetic.

By nighttime, they insisted to share their room with him. Fitting the three of them ion the same bed proved a difficult task, especially adding a small dragon who hated being crushed, but they managed to by piling them on one another. Jack got woken up in the middle of the night because of another nightmare. A bad dream turning his fears into images, the fears he was still struggling to banish from his mind and heart. But waking up with Ruffnut's arms secured aroudn his waist, along with Tuffnut's leg over his tight and Sharpshot's body pressing against his neck and shoulder, it helped him a lot.

He repeated himself that the twins were not self-serving, that they simply had reasons to care about him, but not bad ones. Repeating Hiccup's words nearly became a mantra for him in the following days and, slittle by little, it managed to chase away the devastating outcomes of his conversation with Merida.

Said princess had not apologized to him. Visibly she had not been told of the consequences of her words, still sometimes she looked like she had because she was not talking to Jack anymore, barely witnessing him. When he could meet her eyes, she was giving him a friendly smile, but that was it. Jack noticed she was more busy spending her time hogging Hiccup's attention.

If the twins were bringing Jack everywhere, refusing to leave him, Merida was doing the same with Hiccup. Just like Jack, the tamer didn't seem to complain about it, he was accompanying her all day long with a smile. Jack could spot them from time to time, their path crossing on a few occasions. Each time he was spotting them, the princess was clinging to tamer's arm. Though they were long-timed friends, sometimes the were looking more like a couple. Jack had noticed they were close, but he really looked like the princess was seduced.

Somehow, he thought he was supposed to be happy for them, just like he was happy to see Astrid and Eret happy together, like he was happy and amused by how Dagur and Mala were completely lovestruck and smitten with the other, like he was smilling seeing Snotlout and Heather turning around the other or even Ruffnut and Fishlegs going all soft for the other. However, when it was coming to Hiccup and the princess, there was some kind of block. He couldn't rejoy for them. When he was seeing them, he couldn't help but stare. No smile, no amused thought, but an unpleasant twist in the stomach. Like some kind of knot making him loose his appetite. Jack didn't need to think to know what it was meaning. Actually, he was perfectly aware of it.

He had been since their meeting, but with everything that had happened afterward, Jack had had a lot in his mind instead.

On the third day of the festival, Tuffnut left the trio so he could participate to the steer fights. The goal was not to hurt them but manage to push them back behind a line. Snotlout had already win three times ina row. Eret, Astrid, Dagur, Mala, Heather and Gobber had given it a try too, and that what had awaken the competitive spirit – or the ego ? – of the dreadlocked blond. At first, Jack wanted to stay and cheer him, but Ruffnut got bored and took profit of her twin's absence to drag the boy with her.

She had promised to take him to every shop, and she was aiming to do oit without Tuffnut, just Jack and her. The shops were a large variety of wooden stalls and tents, merchants from the four clans selling producted more various than you could guess. Food, clothes, tools, jewels… There really was everything. The more they were strolling, the more Jack realized that Ruffnut was not just looking and trying out the objects for fun, she was really looking into buying something. She prompted Jack to take a good look and choose something. After a while, he ended up asking her what was going onto her.

''Ruff, it's no use prompting me to buy something. You know I don't have money.''

He did have a share of the circus since his arrival, but it was not much and, mostly, since he was not judging himself useful enough, he had shared it with the others. The few he had ept for himself had entirely been spent in food and tools to take care of Sharpshot.

Ruffnut snickered to his remark and, without warning, she wrapped a light blue scarf around his neck. It was coming from the booth they were in front of, full of similar articles, just as colorful as the rainbow.

''Don't talk nonsense, Jackie, I'm buying you !''

''What ?''

''I'm buying you ! Choose whatever you want, really. Well, not too expensive still, okay ?''

''But I wouldn't be able to pay you back and-''

She hushed him by giving him a poke on the forehead, before wrapping another scarf above the first one. This one was a dark blue with a few white dots adorning the whool, looking like stars.

''That's called a gift, moron.''

''But I-''

''Not buts. What about this one ?''

She picked up another scarf. This one was a yellow as a sunflower, with green stripes on the edges. Jack was still trying to find arguments to try and convince her, when he felt a warm hand on his arm.

''I think white suits you better.''

The voice talking to him seemed like passing behind him and away. It didn't change anything to how flustered it made him, making his heart skip a bat. He quickly looked to his left in try to see the owner of the voice, but he was already gone. Looking to his right, he spotted Hiccup on his stroll with Merida. Despite the princess still clingign to his arm, visibly busy explaining something to him, he was not listening and looking over his shoulder to Jack, winking at him.

Confused, the boy looked back to the booth. Searching, he couldn't see white. The closest was a light yellow, and the first blue scarf Ruffnut had put on him. But no white. Thinking about it, Jack wondered if Hiccup had really talked about the scarfs. What if it actually was his hair ? Did he really prefer his abnormal white to the chestnu dye ? Granted the tamer had made him see he was not rebuked but his white hair, that he was actually admiring it, but this was different. Jack's heart ponded to this simple idea, the simple idea of the tamer prefering this strange but natural color, to a fake one aiming to make him actually look normal.

A silly smile crept on his face, his cheeks and the tip of his ears blooming with heat as he buried his nose in the fabric, trying to hide his face. He barely heard Ruffnut's ranting about the scarfs, it was like a bubble was forming around him.

He only came back to his senses when he saw the blonde threw three coins to the merchant, before she grabbed Jack's arms to hurriedly drag him with her.

''That's fire-spitters, fire-spitters !'' She squeaked as she waved wildly at him, pointing to the gathering she was leading them to.

Dragged in her rush, Jack pulled at the scarfs trying to cover his whole face. When he finally managed to clear his view, they had stoped in the middle of a spectators group, and the blonde next to him was pouncing in delight, greyish blue eyes full of sparks. In front of them were three performers reminding him a bit of heather on stage. Each of them had one or two staffs which edges were ignited, then Jack saw the taller one drink from a small vial, before placing the staff near his mouth, and spit flames that made the crowd back.

''They look like dragons…'' Jack gasped.

''You kidding ?'' Ruff snickered, ''that's even more impressive than dragons ! I mean, okay these guys are smaller, but they aren't supposed to breath fire, you know.''

Jack snickered too, amused by his friend's excitment, before he blenched at a new fire spit. This one was a bit too close to his liking. Luckily for him, the spitter stopped and let his companions twirl their staffs instead. Ruffnut was applauding and poucing as if it was the first time she was seeing this kind of performance. As to Jack, he couldn't help but compare them to Heather and Dagur. Granted these daancers were good, but their choregraphy was way different. Theirs was more agressive, almost like a warrior parade, especially with these deep roars they were crying in synch with their movements. Way different from Heather's grace and Dagur's agility when he was juggling with his own staffs.

As he was loosing his gaze in the flames, Jack started to get stiffy. He removed the two scarfs from his neck, running a hand on his nape to wipe the pearls of sweat forming there. He was sure it would be enough, but it didn't. He was getting too hot. It felt like summer in Burgess, when the sun was turning scorching. Unsure, he looked up at the sky, only to find the typical automnal one. All grey and cloudy, not a trace of blue nor sun. The wind had been chilly in the morning, so why was he suddenly that hot ?

Running his hand on his nape wiped as much sweat as the first time, a dull headache started to form and breathing was getting difficult. He faked a smile when the crowd cheered for the fire-spitter coming again. The flames getting close made Jack back in a hurry, Ruffnut grabbing his arm in her own jolt. She snickered but her voice sounded strangely fogged up.

That's only when he ran his hand on his forehead to push away a few strands that he realized something was wrong. He was wet there too, and his sigh got blurry when he looked at the droplets on his fingers. He shook his head and blinked, but it didn't help, his breath getting heavier. Another spit of flames and Jack understood. He wasn't bearing the heat. Surely it was due to his ice magic, the same it was making him handle cold better, it was weakening him to heat.

''Huh… Ruff ? I feel kind of uncomfortable…''

Th blonde looked at him and noticed how pale he was, and how sweaty he was. Her eyes widened.

''Shoot, is it too hot for you ? I'm sorry Jack, let's get away, we-''

''No, no don't worry. You can stay, enjoy the show, I'll just go and sit for a bit.''

''You sure ?''

''Yeah, no problem. I'll see you later.''

Seeing how excited sh had been to this show, he didn't want to ruin her moment. Since he was insisting, she ended up accepting, thought her eyes followed him and he put some distance between him and his show. He already felt better as he left the crowd. It was like taking a big gulp of fresh air. He walked a bit farther away and found a small group of barrils against a merchant tent. He decided to sit and wait there, laying the scarfs next to him. Sharpshot, who until then had not left the comfort of his hood, finally decided to show himself.

He jumped on the closest barril and instantly noticed the two colorful whool clothes. Jack observed him with a smile as the dragon dug his muzzle in it, then himself entirely, snuggling in the fabric.

''First my cape and hoods, now the scarfs ?'' He teased, ''I'll end up naked if you keep on like this.''

The dragon warbled in reply as he kept on loll himself, ending up wrapping one of the scarfs aroudn him. Jack chuckled and teased him. He picked up the darker scarf and actually wrapped it around the smal body before knotting it. He made sure not to emcomber the dragon's paws and wings, still the dragon found himself swadded from head to tail, making him hiss in protest. Jack laughed even more. As a making up, he unwrapped the cocoon and only did on loop around the dragon's neck. This time, Sharpshot cooed and snuggled in it.

Since he was chill again, Jack put the other scarf around his neck, but not knotting it, just putting it on his nape and letting it hang on his shoulders. He then realized that, in their rush, he didn't even get the chance to thank Ruffnut for that gift. He chanced a glance towards the fire-spitting show still going on. It didn't take long for him to spot Ruffnut among the spectators. She was still bouncing excitedly, her braids swinging to each of her movements, and their smell seemed to make people uncomfortable around her. If Jack had ended up getting used to that fish smell, it was not the case of people not knowing her.

Jack was starting to make fun of a man slowly backing from her, his eyes following the braids, but his laugh got cut off as he spotted a familiar frame. Jack froze. His breath caught, he found himself unable to move, nor even blink. His eyes followed the frame walking by and getting away. A small frame, far from chubby but not skinny either. Mi-long chestnut hair, straight but thick. Brown dress with a band of red losanges on the bottom.

Once she got a bit farther, Jack jumped on his feet and followed her, leaving behind a dragon too busy lolling himself in the scarf to notice his companion was leaving.

''Emma !'' He called out while going faster.

The girl didn't react and kept on walking away, forcing him to seep up. He followed her by running and shouting her name lourder and louder. Lost on this unexpected vision, he was completely oblivious of the stares he was attracting on him, nor the questions rising. Nothing could reach him aside from this girl he was catching up with. His heart was going crazy, his breath racking, his mind fuzzing and buzzing. He couldn't believe she was there. But she was, she was right there, in front of him, in his reach.

A few ore steps finally allowed him to catch up, and he didn't wait to grab her wrist. He could touch her, she was not just an hallucination.

''Emma !''

The girl stopped and turned towards him, and then the spell broke. Jack had been expecting to find a face with round jaw but pointy chin, a thin nose looking like his own, slightly larger, a pair of sparkling hazel eyes half hidden under a fringe, and a large smile showing off perly white, ridiculously large teeth.

He saw none of these.

Instead, it was a pale face, dotted with freckles and beauty marks, roundish cheekbones on a ovale face, a gap between the front teeth, and two big grey-green eyes looking at him as if not knowing him. Because they didn't know him. This young girl was not Emma. The two didn't even share the same chesnut hair, it was only a trick of the light on this dark ginger.

Jack remained still, stunned, in front of this little girl who was as muste as him. It seemed to last forever, or only a few seconds passed before their eyes parted, breaking this transe. Their eyes partes as the girl lifted her head towards the man holding her hand, who yanked her away to hider her behind him. Jack let go immediatly, still shaken, and he wasn't out of troubles as he saw frowned eyebrows overhanging a murderous glare on the man's face.

''What do you want with my daughter, boy ?!''

''Huh… sorry, I… I thought she was someone else.''

''Don't get closer, and don't you dare touch her !''

Jack clenched his teeth, his head swallowed in his shoulders as the man shouted. Squinting his eyes shut, he barely listened to the man's scolding, too lost in his thoughts speaking louder. How could he have been tricked like this ? Mistaking this girl for Emma could happen, but how could he really believe it was her ? There was no way it could have been her, it was just impossible. Because she was not there anymore. He could never see her again. And even if, by miracle, she was still alive, she would still be at Burgess. At their small nameless village. With their family, with their parents who would still love her and cherish her. But if she had still been alive, so it would have meant she had escaped death the same way he did, the same unexplainable and wicked way he did. So she would have been cursed too. So she would have been as feared and hated as him.

He winced even more, refusing to think about it any longer. Just thinking about his beloved sister goign throught the same treatment he had been, it was making him sick. It was hurting him more than whe nhe had lived it himself. He wanted to throw up.

When he opened his eyes agains, trying to connect back with reality, he was alone again. The little girl and her angry father were gone. Alone in the middle of passing by persons, Jack felt crushed under the weight of reality. No more little sister. No more family. Nothing left. Tears rolled down his cheeks, trying to hold them back was doing nothing. So he hugged himself, trying to find comfort where he could.

A hand on his shoulder made him start and turn around, the movement so sudden it caused the same reaction to that person. Valka retreived her hand by reflex, before putting it back on his shoulder. Her face was soft but full of worry and sadness.

''Jack…''

She didn't seem to know what to say. The boy lowered his head and wiped his face on his sleeve, sniffing in slence. His eyes closed once more as he felt Valka's warm finger running softly in his hair, in a gesture so soft and motherly. How comforting it could have been, it still made Jack want to cry even more, reminding him of this hole in his chest.

''You thought this girl was someone from your village, am I right ?'' She asked, her voice soft and cautious.

Jack felt even badder that she had witnessed this disaster. He bit his lip and slowly nodded in reply.

''My… my sister…'' He stuttered.

Valka didn't reply right away but, when she did, she did it with gestures, no words. Jack stiffened as he found himself in her arms. He still had troubles to handle touch as he had been deprived of it for so long, but he was craving more and more to it.

''You must be really missing your family…'' She murmured, stroking his back.

Jack clung to Valka's green tunic and hugged her back, shaking. He had to admit that, yes, he did was missing his family. His family from the time they used to be living together, the four of them, when they were happy, when his parents used to love him, when he used to play with this sister and was teasing her as much as entertaining her.

''You have no idea how much…'' He sobbed.

''It's gonna be alright, Jack. I know we can never replace them, but you're not alone with us.''

He sighed softly, these few words soothing him way more than he coudl have imagined, especially since he knew it was genuine. Valka was really meaning it. He knew he could trust her, just like he could trust Hiccup, the twins, Snotlout, the other performers of the circus, and the dragons… Thinking about the dragons made him suddenly realise something. He started and freed himself from Valka's embrace, looking frantically around them.

''Sharpshot ! He… Where is he ? I left him behind… Oh no…''

''Calm down, Jack, I'm sure he's not far.''

The boy nearly ignored Valka so he could launch himself in another rush, back to where he was coming from. He vaguely heard the ringmistress calling out for him, but it didn't stop him from running. His heart was pounding like a crazed dragon, his breath panting and exhausting him. H only managed to calm down as he spotted the group of barrils, on which was still the small dragon snuggled in the dark blue scarf. He sighed so hard his shoulders saggered, and he didn't wait to take the small Terror in his arms. Said dragon didn't mind and snuggled against him, rubbing his head against the boy's shoulder.

''I'm so sorry,'' Jack whispered to him, burrying his face in the scaly back of the small, warm creature.

Sharpshot didn't seem to have noticed he had left without him, which only made Jack feel worse. He didn't dare imagine if something had happened to the dragon while he was gone, nore how Hiccup would have react to the news. Mike merida had told him, dragons were really precious to him. Hiccup had trusted him with Sharpshot, and it would have hurt him as much to betray this trust as to loose the small dragon.

''There you are.'' Valka panted, stopping right behind him. ''Oh, I see you found him. I bet he quietly waited for you here.''

Sharpshot warbled, waving his tail so hard his whole body was shaking from it, but Jack couldn't bring himself to loosen his grip on him. He kept him the closest he could, pressing his cheek against the scales. He wanted to cry. Crying for believing Emma was there, crying for almost loosing Sharpshot, crying for how pathetic he was feeling. Valka's warm hand rubbing his back was helping him.

''You're been shaken enough for today, Jack. If you want to, you can go back to the castle and take some rest. It's fine.''

''But Ruffnut wanted to-''

''She'll understand, don't worry.''

Jack hesitated for a long moment. Ruffnut has been so extatic to bring him see the whole festival, he was feeling bad for ditching her. Still he could picture how he could be good company in his actual state, as he was nothing but a trembling ball of nerves, ready to burst in tears. He rarely had felt this pathetic, still it didn't feel like Valka was seeing him this way. There was no pity in her eyes, only concern and kindness. She was really incredible, her heart seemed endless, filled with a bottomless stock of support for the people around her.

After a long moment, Jack accepted her offer by nodding. He sniffed and eased his grip on Sharpshot, who decided to settle more confortably on the boy's arms, laying on his back. Valka walked Jack back to the castle, up until his room. He was expecting her to quickly leave, but she stayed. She even sat on the edge of the bed, adjusting the furs under which he had slipped.

In the comfort of the bed, Sharpshot laying in a ball next to his head, his warm breath tickling his ear, Jack was already feeling better, and Valka's staying was adding something more. A feeling of safety, and a presence to chase away loneliness and cold. Sitting close to him, she softly brushed a few strands away from his brow, then placed her hand on his own.

''You know Jack, if you ever need to talk, to confide, you shouldn't hesitate. It's not good to keep it all in.''

He didn't dare say anything. His eyes struggled to reamin on her, dropping and unfocusing as he was getting lost in his thoughts. He still felt the kind woman's thumb caressing the back of his hand.

''Hiccup uses to talk to his dragons, mostly to Toothless. He says that, even if they don't say anything, they are good listener. If you're not ready to tell us anything, maybe you could start with Sharpshot ? I'm certain it would be good for you.''

Jack turned his head on the side, trying to get a glimpse of the small creature lolled in his pillow. The most he could make out was paws and a bit of the tail wrapped around, still it was enough. Sharpshot was not asleep yet, but it was obvious he was not goign anywhere. He was staying with him, watching over him. It made him smile, and how shy it was was still enough to reassure Valka. When he met her eyes again, she was smiling softly at him.

''Think about it, okay ?''

He nodded.

''Good. I'll let you rest, then. I'll come back around diner time if you're not out beforehand.''

Another nod, then he closed his eyes as she leant closer. The sweet warmth pressing on his forehead felt unreal, and he only realized what it was when Valka'slips left his skin. She leant out and gave him a last smile before leaving, slowly shutting the door behind her.

Jack's heart flat out stopped, a single tear rolling down his cheek. A mother's warmth. It had been so long since the last time he had felt it, that he had forgotten how good it was. That warmth spread in his chest, allowing him to close his eyes with a smile.

Jack woke up as he felt a breath tickling the side of his neck. It could seem anodyne since he was sleeping with a dragon snuggled to his head, but he could feel Sharpshot against his right ear, but the breath was coming from the other side. A bit groggily, he frowned and turned his head, to freeze as he found a face which wasn't supposed to be there. Forest green eyes looked at him with a mixture of panic and guilt.

''Sorry,'' Hiccup murmured, ''I didn't mean to wake you up.''

Jack blinked, trying to chase away the remnants of sleep fogging his senses, and that's when he caught up with the current situation. Hiccup was there, in his room, laying close to him, in the same bed. The boy felt his face heat up, his first reflex to back, but he couldn't bring himself to move.

Hiccup was there, close to him, but not invading his personal space. He had made sure to keep a small distance between the two of them. It didn't do much to calm down Jack, just easing his rush of panic, but his heart was still racing as if doing a rodeo. Unable to speak, just swallowing hard, he just nodded. Hiccup nodded too, as if silently saying he was understanding what Jack was telling him, that the situation – how surreal it was – was okay. A few seconds elapsed before they spoke again, still as low as a whisper. Hiccup was surely doing this not to wake up Sharpshot, though the two young men were so close that they didn't need to speak louder. Jack liked it this way, actually, it felt even more intimate.

''Mom told me you went back early to get some rest. I got worried for you.''

''Yeah, I was a bit… There has been a…''

Jack closed his eyes and sighed, unable to form a coherent explanation. He didn't want to retale hwat had happened, he was still feeling idiot and pathetic.

''Hey,'' Hiccup called him, running a hand along Jack's arm.

This gesture, along with the undebiable tenderness in the tamer's voice, caught Jack's attention. His eyes trailes back to the tamer and found this peculiar smile on his freckled face, this smile he still couldn't put a name on but which had this calming power on him. This power to alleviate his mood and make his troubles disappear. This power to unleash his heart and appease his being at the same time.

''You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.''

Strangely, that actually made Jack want to talk about it. Valka had adviced him to confide, to not keep it all in, and if there was someone in the troupe with which he was feeling safe enough to do so, it was Hiccup. To whom else could he talk to if not him ?

''I… It's stupid, but for a moment, I thought I had seen someone in the crowd. Someone from Burgess.''

Jack looked down, slowly immersed back in the memories of that disaster.

''… Who ?'' The auburnet hesitated.

The boy stiffened without meaning to. He instantly felt Hiccup's hand stroking his arm, helping him to calm down once again. It was really magical how this simple touch was affecting him, just like Valka's kiss on his forehead. No doubt it was because it had been so long since he had been touched like this, that any contact was making melt.

''My little sister, Emma.'' He winced again, scolding himself for how stupid he was. ''I should have known better. I should have known it couldn't be her. I feel so stupid for that, because I knew she couldn't be here-''

''Hush, it's okay, Jack. Don't blame yourself, it's because you miss her.''

Jack sighed, this time in content. Hiccup's caresses on his arm was really doing him good. It was not much, but it was enough to kep the bad thoughts at bay, anchoring him in the present, in this calm moment.

''Are you feeling a bit better ?'' Hiccup asked, his voice incredibly sweet.

Jack nodded, before shyly putting his hand on Hiccup's, which stopped moving.

''It helps a lot.'' The boy admitted.

The tamer gave him a sheepish smile and shrugged. ''It's not much.''

''It's way more than what I had for a long time. It's been so long since anyone touched me.''

Hiccup's smile dropped. ''At all ?''

''At all.'' Jack repeated.

For a moment, Hiccup didn't say anthing. Jack was not expecting anything more from him, he just wanted to enjoy this moment. Keeping his hand on the auburnet's, he felt it move to hold his own. Hiccup's warm fingers wrapped around Jack's cold ones, his skin was a bit calloused from all his work and crafting, but Jack didn't mind. He didn't mind either when the tamer pulled at his hand to get it near his chest, keeping it close. Jack could feel the tamer's warm aura sip under his skin, warming up his bones which seemed to be made of ice.

Once again, the ressemblance between Hiccup and Valka struck him. Just like her, the tamer had an open heart and infinite support. It made him feel guilty. He was guilty to worry them that much.

''I'm really sorry, you know. Between this and the incident in my room, the other day, I feel like I'm only causing you guys troubles…''

''Come on, Jack… Don't apologize for something that has been done to you.''

Jack looked up at him, giving him a puzzled look which was far from describing how confused he was. The auburnet still managed to see it since he developped.

''All of this, what's happening to you, the way you react and all these emotions you feel, it's scars. Scars of wounds your people gave you. It's not your fault, and no one is pretending that what you went through is easy to handle.''

''… But maybe I deserve it. Maybe I deserve all of this.''

''I refuse to believe that.''

''I don't see why.''

''You don't deserve this, Jack. Being rejected and shuned by everyone you know since your birth, being treated like a pariah, bullied until you can't trust nore open up to anyone ? And being hung, by your own clan ? No, you definitively didn't deserve this.''

the more Hiccup was insisting, the more Jack was feeling another emotion mixing with his sorrow. Anger. He was not sure why he was angry, nore with whom he was angry, but it was boiling in him, fed by Hiccup's stubborness to believe in him. The tamer only wanted to comfort him, but it was having the opposite effect on him.

''I do.''

''No, Jack. What they did was wrong. They had no right to do this to an innocent like you and-''

''What makes you think I'm innocent ?''

''Come on, Jack-''

''I killed my sister. Does that seem innocent to you ?''

Hiccup froze, eyes wide, as if he had just been slapped but couldn't prcess it yet. He was flaberghasted. Jack's anger grew only bigger, mixed with even more guilt and sorrow. New tears streamed his eyes but he didn't care. Tearing his hand from Hiccup's, he sat up in try to put some distance between the two of them.

''I killed my sister. She died because of me, and when I was supposed to drown with her, all of this happened.''

He vaguely gestured to his face and hair.

''All this magic, this is where it comes from. It comes from Death. That's why people in the village said I was cursed. They're right, I am cursed ! They said I was a demon which possessed the dead body of this boy, and I came to believe it too. I may have all my memories, all his memories, nothing proves I am still me. Nothing proves that I wasn't born that night, in that pond, in the dead corpse of Jackson Overland.''

Heavy silence loomed into the room, heavier than anything Jack had ever known. Things not said by Jonathan, the lack of comfort from Mary, the insistent looks with no many non-spoken thoughts, all of this seemed dull compared to this silence. It was done, now Hiccup knew about White the Cursed. Jack could only wait and brace himself for what was coming at him. Anger. Scandal. Fear. Rejection. Tensed from head to toes, eyes squinted shut in a flooded grimace, he just wanted to disappear.

''Jack, look at me.''

The boy winced without moving. Hiccup's tone was tough, but not filled with anger. He strated as he felt two warm hands cut his face and make him turn to the side. Jack risked a glance and met the tamer's forest eyes. These eyes were broken, filled with tears ready to fall. Hiccup was looking at him straight in the eye, holding his face so gently, as if Jack was a aby bird which had just fallen from its nest. Warm thumbs stroked pale skin to try and wipe part of the cold tears.

''I forbide you to think that, even for a second, you hear me ?''

A sob tore Jack's throat, and that only saddened the auburnet even more.

''You're not a monster, Jack. You're not a demon nore a curse and, even if I don't know exactly what happened with your sister, I'm sure it was only an accident.''

Jack dove deep inside this gaze, searching for the slightest hint of malice, the slightest proof that Hiccup was not meaning his words. He found none. He found nothing but the pure, absolute sincerity the auburnet had always had for him. The boy burst in tears. Hiccup wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close, hugging him, craddling him.

That evening, Jack told him everything. He broke his last walls, opening up his baten heart, broken by all the suffering he had been through after the accident, and the accident itself. Hiccup proved himself incredibly patient, listening to him as he struggled to turn his thoughts into words, even if the words were confused and chopped with sobs. He gave him all the time he needed to retale the whole story, not pressuring him, letting him go to his own rythme, hugging him or simply holding his hand when he need an anchor not to drown into the memories.

Once the whole story of White the Cursed was out, the boy felt ewhausted. He didn't have any energy left, even his mind seemed to be floating around. Still, at the same time, he was feeling incredibly light. Valka had been right, letting it all out had done him good. It had been so long he had to keep it in, by obligation or fear. But now that it was all out, it felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. And what made him feel better in all of this, it was Hiccup. Seeing how tired the boy was, the tamer helped him go back to sleep, and the last words he told him before leaving melted his heart.

''Good night, Jack.''

He had called him Jack. Not White the Cursed nore any other awful name he had shared with him. No, he had used his name, as if, even knowing his story, he was convinced Jack was still himself.

For the first time since the accident, someone was convinced he was the same person. Someone was seeing him, not the monster the pond had made of him.

For the very first time since the accident, using his name didn't feel like a lie.

For the very first time since the accident, Jack had been given back his identity.