Bucky watches from the observation suite. His hand presses against the glass and he feels his heart beating along with the heart monitor down below.
Natasha stands at his side, silent and comforting.
Tony, Lydia, and Clint are asleep, strewn out on the chairs behind them. They'd bit the dust about 7 hours into the surgery. Bucky couldn't even quiet his mind enough to even pretend he could sleep.
His mind whirled with questions. Who will Steve be when the device is gone? Will he be right back to normal? What is normal? Will he remember Bucky? Will he remember his torture? Will he know nothing? What if he doesn't remember Bucky and wants nothing to do with him? Will he be able to let Steve go?
Someone Natasha senses the whirlwind and slips her hand into his. "Whatever happens." She says quietly, "I'll be here with you."
"Thank you." He says quietly. It doesn't answer his questions. But at least he won't have to face the answers alone.
"He's going to remember you."
"Maybe."
"He claimed you." The words should be weird, laughable. But they're not. She's right. Steve had wiped his tears, had wanted to help him. That had to count for something.
The doctor's look up to the suite and a loud voice comes over the speaker, startling the other three awake.
"We're going to start stitching him up. We'll transfer him to post-op. When he wakes up, you'll be allowed to visit him.
Bucky nods numbly and the doctor turns back to Steve.
—-
Tony claps his hands together. "I'm getting coffee. I'm bringing coffee for everyone else."
He's up and gone before they can respond.
"He's not what I expected." Lydia says thoughtfully. Her eyes on the door that Tony just left from.
"What'd ya think he'd be like?" Clint asks sleepily.
"I dunno. The videos I've seen of him make him seem like a real jackass."
Bukcy snorts. "He is." Then he thinks about everything Tony's doing for him right now. Doing for Steve. "But he's also not." He quickly corrects. "He's a complicated guy."
Clint huffs a laugh at the quick turnaround. "Aren't we all."
Natasha tips her nose to the air and smiles demurely. "I'm quite simple actually."
Lydia and Clint both laugh out loud while Bucky tries to keep the grin off his face.
She scrunches her nose at them and they chuckle quietly.
—-
LIMBO
The Asset feels his mind return to him, except it's more crowded.
What's happening?
The voice. It's loud. It's right there.
The Asset doesn't respond.
He blinks his eyes open and takes in his surroundings. Not in a surgical room. Thta's good. He's in a bed and his wrists are free. So are his ankles.
Thta's… strange.
Good.
But strange.
Run
Huh?
Run! You're free! You can get us out of here!
The asset feels his heart rate elevate. The voice is right. He hasn't felt free in… No… wait… The Asset was just free wasn't he? The flight.
His spider.
The Asset looks around and sees no one. He leans forward, feeling a tug at his scalp. He reaches his hand behind his skull and feels tiny bumps. Stitches. What happened?
The door opens.
"There you are!" A vague says in Russian. "Glad to see you awake."
Вот ты где! Рад видеть тебя проснувшимся.
What the hell are you waiting for? Run!
But… the spider.
Spider?
One of my—our spiders.
That was years ago. You're getting confused. Let's go.
The mission.
Mission? What mission? You're not doing any more missions for them. RUN.
He lurches forward. The voice struggling for control of his limbs.
STOP.
No. Let's go.
He fights the voice and they tumble off the bed.
"WOAH!" The vague shouts, "Stop! Stop! You'll hurt yourself! Help!"
Вау! Стоп! Стоп! Ты навредишь себе! Помощь!
The vague is calling for help and the voice growls at him.
You want more to fight!? GET OUT OF HERE
The Asset's mind is tumbling, the voice has led him well. And led him into trouble.
Please. The voice begs Please. I can't. Run. GO.
Okay.
The Asset pulls himself to his feet and stumbles forward.
"Please!" The vague is saying with panic on his face, "How are you even walking right now? You just had major brain surgery! Please sit back down!"
Пожалуйста! Как ты сейчас вообще ходишь? Вам только что сделали серьезную операцию на головном мозге! Пожалуйста, присядь!
The Asset speaks back to him in Russian, "let me go and I won't hurt you."
отпусти меня, и я не причиню тебе вреда
The vague pales and the Asset stumbles past him.
The Asset makes it out of the building and down a few blocks before a large robot lands in front of him.
"Woah there, Cap." A tinny voice says. "Can't check yourself out of a hospital, that's against protocol."
What the hell is that?
The Asset doesn't know.
"Come on, calm down." The robot opens and a man steps out.
The Asset and the voice both take a step back.
We know him.
We do?
… Don't we?
The Asset agrees he looks familiar.
"You remember me?"
"No." The Asset says.
"Ouch." The man says. "Hey, no harm, no foul. I'd be fuzzy after having Hydratech shoved in my brain for 40+ years."
The voice chokes. 40+ years? How long have we been captured by Hydra?
"It's 2014." The Asset says out loud. Mostly to inform the voice.
The man ahead of him tilts his head in question. "Uh, yeah. It is. That important."
The Asset points to his head. "The voice wanted to know."
The man's eyes widen and mouth parts in surprise. "The voice?"
"Affirmative."
"This voice… it have a name?"
The Asset pauses. Waiting for the voice to speak.
Yeah, I have a name
"Affirmative."
The man smiles, "Great, great, can I know what it is?"
Uh… It's… Uh… The Asset can feel the frustration rising from the voice. Dammit.
"Unable to recall." The Asset states.
"Oh," The Asset tenses at the disappointment that crosses the man's face. But it's quickly replaced with a smile. "No worries. No worries at all. Hey, listen, It's cold out here, let's go inside somewhere, huh? How about some food?"
Do we trust this guy?
The Asset looks at the man. "Affirmative." He says, answering both questions.
The man leads him to a small apartment where four people are standing there staring at him.
The voice goes rigid.
The spider approaches him. She holds out her hand and the Asset sees a coin, flat on her palm.
"I had them take it out. You don't have to hide it anymore."
The Asset snatches it and stuffs it in his boot.
"Steve?"
The voice is on high alert. The Asset stiffens at the reaction.
"The Asset has informed me that there's a voice speaking to him." The man with the facial hair says. "Asked for the voice's name but it can't recall."
The five people in front of him share a look that the Asset and the voice don't understand.
"Let's get you some real clothes." The spider says.
Him. Tell him. We know him. We know him. He's—- The voice growls in frustration. The Asset can feel him reaching for information that isn't there right now. Gaps. Please. The voice pleads. Tell him. We know him.
That's the mission.
Mission for what?
We were supposed to kill him. Handler Pierce said to.
Who is Handler Pierce? I thought we had Handler Karpov.
The Asset grimaces. He did not like Handler Karpov. His eyes flick up to make sure no one is upset at his reaction. They are just staring at him. Unsure.
We were supposed to kill him? But we know him. Ask him how we know him.
"How do we know you?" The Asset asks, eyes pinned to the mission who is staring at him back, just as intensely.
"We grew up together." The mission responds. He sounds upset. He probably doens't like being asked questions. The handler's didn't. Missions probably don't either. "We fought together."
"Fought?"
"Together." THe mission says quickly. "We were on the same team."
He was in Hydra?
"You were in Hydra?"
"No." The mission responds. "No. I wasn't. Before Hydra."
Something the Handlers had nailed into his brain, every morning, night, cryo session, consequence session, and training session, falls from his lips. "There is nothing before Hydra."
The voice doesn't like that. But it also doesn't argue. It has no proof.
"That's not true, Steve. You lived a whole life before Hydra. We're going to help you remember it."
No more cryo. The voice demands.
"No more cryo." The Asset reiterates.
"No." The mission snaps, "No more cryo. Never again. No more surgery either. No more torture."
The Asset and the voice don't believe that statement just yet.
The Asset is given copious amounts of food.
He can't remember the last time he was allowed or given this much at one time.
Trap?
Unclear.
The Asset is given new, clean, and non combat related clothes.
New mission as a civilian?
Unclear.
What happened to Hydra?
"What happened to Hydra?"
They look at him. It's the first time he's spoken in a long while.
"Got rooted out. Mostly. We're peeling back the layers and cutting off heads. Clean up will be messy and take a while, but at least now we know. The Avengers are on the case."
Hydra's gone? A new feeling is present in the voice's tone. The Asset can't remember what it's called.
"So… You are the new Hydra?" The Asset asks. "The Asset will do missions for the Avengers?"
The quiet makes the Asset and the voice get nervous.
"No." The mission states. "No more missions. Ever."
Dread fills the Asset. "The Asset is fully functioning."
Hell yeah we are.
"No need for consequence training or cryo to ensure functionality."
The voice pauses.
Wait, what?
The people stare at them again and the Asset is perfectly still. Wanting to make sure the Avengers understand that he is ready for orders.
The spider comes over, she places her hands on his shoulders and touches her forehead to his.
The voice stutters in surprise.
"Recluse. You are free. No more missions. No more organizations that you have to work for or follow orders from. You can choose what you want to do next."
Trap?
Unclear.
"How?" The Asset asks. "How do I choose what to do next? What is my goal?"
They don't respond and the Asset feels nervous that the amount of questions he's allowed is running out.
—
He is not told to sleep. But eventually he feels his eyes grow heavy.
"Permission to sleep." He asks, then he glances around. Unsure which of them he would require permission from. "The Asset requests to know who is in charge."
"None of us are in charge of you." The mission says, the spider he doesn't know is sitting next to him and already asleep. "You can sleep. The bed in the room is yours."
We get to sleep on a bed?
Affirmative.
—
When he wakes. He feels less split in two.
I think… I think I remember some stuff.
Further information Required.
We're small?
Negative.
Oh. The Asset feels the voice deflate. Okay.
The Asset walks from the bedroom to the living space.
"Hey Cap." The man who seems more and more to be the one in charge says, "you hungry?"
"Who is Cap?" The Asset asks.
"You. You're Cap. Captain America."
The Asset blinks. The voice listens intently.
"The man at the airport said I looked like him."
"Yeah, you do. Because you are."
"How?"
"Uh…" the man says, his mouth dragging down at the corners, "I'm not sure how to explain that. You just are Captain America."
The mission steps closer and glares at the man in charge. Unwise.
"You aren't Captain America. You're Steven Grant Rogers and you fought in a war, and they called you that for propaganda reasons."
What's propaganda?
Unclear.
"Do you recognize that name? Steve Rogers."
"Yes." The Asset responds. The mission smiles and the Asset continues. "The man at the airport said that name."
The mission deflates. Similar to the voice.
I think… I think we're Steve Rogers.
"The Asset is Steve Rogers?"
The mission blinks at him, "Yes. Yes, You are. Steve Rogers, that's your name."
The pride the voice feels is an interesting feeling. That's the name. The one I couldn't remember all those years ago.
"When did Steve Rogers become the Asset?"
The Asset worries that he may have reached his question limit because the people in the room all immediately seem displeased with the question.
Apologize.
Affirmative.
"The Asset is aware of his mistake in the inquiry. The Asset will not ask any more questions. No consequence training needed."
Somehow they look more upset.
What do they want from us?
"What is required of the Asset?"
The mission's face grows angry and he turns and faces away from the Asset.
The spider he doesn't know steps forward. "As of right now. Nothing is required of you. We want to ensure your health and safety. You are important to us." He is an important Asset. Hydra told him that too. The Asset understands this. "Are you hungry?"
"Affirmative."
"Great. Let's get you food."
The spiders disappear along with the quiet observant one in the back.
—
After he has eaten, the spider turns to him again. "Are you tired? Do you need rest?"
"Negative."
"Okay. Would you be okay with Tony looking at the back of your head? From your surgery?"
We had surgery?
"Affirmative."
The man with the facial hair steps forward, and the Asset leans his head forward like before. This time there's no pain or throbbing as the man gently prods and searches the back of his head.
"Looks almost healed up. Stitches can come out tomorrow."
"They'll fall out." The mission says.
"Affirmative." The Asset agrees.
"Ew." The man says lightly, "Cool. Okay, then he's set."
"Asset?" He looks back towards the spider who is speaking in ways that he understands. "Are you thirsty?"
"Affirmative."
"Great. Perfect."
He's handed a large water bottle and he drinks its without hesitation.
"Asset, do you have any other injuries or wounds that we need to be aware or?"
"Negative."
"Are you in pain?"
"Negative."
"Do you feel sore? Or bruised anywhere?"
"Negative."
"Okay, that's great. You're doing great, Thank you for answering."
The voice insists there are words that he's supposed to say after someone says thank you. But he doesn't know what they are.
"Asset?" The spider he does know speaks, walking closer. "I have a request. You can accept or deny. Can I ask?"
"Affirmative."
"My name is Lydia. Can you call me that?"
"Affirmative. Preferred title accepted."
"Thanks."
"Asset?" The other spider speaks. "We all have preferred titles. Can we tell them to you?"
"Affirmative."
"I'm Natasha. This is Bucky. This is Clint, and this is Tony. Are you okay with referring to us by those titles?"
"Handlers?"
"No." The spider says quickly. "No. We are not Handlers. We're… other Assets like you."
"Natasha!" The missi— Bucky says.
"Just trust me." She replies. "We're Assets too. We work for the Avengers, but you don't. Not yet. You could if you wanted to one day."
The Asset doesn't respond.
"We remember you as being called Steve. Would it bother you if we refer to you as Steve?"
We don't mind.
"We don't mind." The Asset reiterates.
The group smiles and the Asset and the voice are pleased with that.
—
Another session of sleep seems to meld the voice and the Asset even more.
We're the same. Or we were.
Affirmative.
"Okay, Steve. Let's get you some food and then decide what to do from here."
The Asset is given more food than he can eat and the voice hums contentedly.
—
"What would you like to do Steve?"
The Asset is unsure how to respond.
"Too broad." Lydia, his used-to-be-mini-spider says, "Steve, we can take you to where you used to live when you were mini." Lydia looks at the one who prefers to be called Bucky, "does that still exist?"
"Uh, not really. The building is gone, there's a plaque though. But I know a lot of spots in Brooklyn that could help. And… mini?"
"That's what he called us when we were small. He didn't really grasp the concept of children."
"Oh."
"Asset, we can take you to where you were mini, or…" she looks at the Asset with a thoughtful expression, "we could take you to wh—
The voice suddenly speaks, speaks so forcefully that it escapes the Asset's own mouth unbidden. The village. "The village."
The group pauses. Looking at him.
The Asset is unsure as well. What Village?
The one that saved us. There was a village right? A mini?
Unclear. Explain.
The village. The village. Trains. Say that. There's a train.
"Village. Train."
The man called Bucky looks at him with wide-eyes and a shocked expression. "You remember the train?"
"Negative."
There was a train though, see? So that means there was a village. Are the villagers okay?"
"Are the villagers okay?"
"I don't know." Bucky admits, then more slowly, "do you want to go there?"
"Affirmative."
—
"Do we even know what village it is?" The man called Clint says, "I don't think it ever said."
"Then we'll search every village within 100 miles of that damn section of train track until we find the right one." The one named Bucky says forcefully.
"Woah there, Tiger." The man named Tony says, "no problems. We'll find it."
"Good."
They pack up and leave the apartment within hours.
—
The Asset attempts to stand guard for the group until they instruct him to rest on the plane.
He complies.
—
It only takes them two villages to find the right one.
The voice breathes out. This is it.
Explain.
I don't know. It just is. Keep walking.
"The voice believes this is the correct village."
"Okay, Steve. You lead the way."
The Asset walks up the main street without thinking. He makes a left and a right, and follows a smaller paved path.
It's not the same.
Affirmative.
They arrive at a building that both the Asset and the voice know is wrong.
"Here."
The group looks at him.
"Here what, Steve?"
Our back.
"Our back."
Broken
"Broken."
Bucky takes a look around and then looks at him. "Was your back broken when they brought you to this village?"
Something about that seems right. The voice agrees. "Affirmative."
"Okay, I wasn't sure if Hydra had broken it when I saw those photos, but it makes sense that you would have broken it in the fall."
"Was there a place here before that you were brought?" The woman called Natasha asks him.
"Smaller building."
"A house?"
"Unclear."
"Okay, Stark, see if city records knows when the house was torn down and who owned it in the 40's. Hopefully a village this small had records. Let's start asking around."
—
The man called Bucky asks the Asset to follow him.
The Asset complies.
—
"Okay, so the records indicate it was torn down around 1970 for the construction of the building that is on site now. But the owners of the house died in the mid 1980's. The son is still alive and lives in a nursing home… Just down the road." The man named Tony says swiftly.
They glance at the Asset. "Would you like to see if this man is the one you are looking for?" The man called Bucky asks.
The Asset's voice is noticeably raw when he speaks. "Affirmative."
—
The doors creak as they push it open. They step inside a small foyer and approach a front desk.
"Can I help you?"
Я могу вам помочь?
"We're looking for Peter Brikov?"
Ищем Петра Брикова
The woman seems surprised but nods and leads them to an adjoining room that is filled with tables and comfortable chairs.
Питер! Здесь есть люди, чтобы тебя увидеть!
"Peter! There are people here to see you!"
A man, with a weathered wrinkled face, turns towards them, a question in his eyes. But then his eyes meet the Assets and they widen.
The voice gasps and makes a sad choking noise
How…
"Friend." The man says without hesitation. "Friend."
The Asset is not controlling his limbs, the voice is as he feels his body approach teh man and kneel down to be closer to eye level.
"Friend."
The man smiles and his eyes are in disbelief.
"You are same age? How?"
"The Asset was placed into cryo." The man's face turns down into a frown.
"Oh-kaay." The man with the facial hair says, stepping forward, "hey, I'm Tony. Nice to meet you. You know our friend here?"
"Yes, Yes. Captain America. He lived in my house when I was young."
"Lived in your house?"
"My father found him, in gorge. Brought him home. We had him for 5 days before they came for him."
"You had him for five whole days?" The man called Bucky asks, voice upset, "I could have found him before Hydra?"
"Barnes. Not the time." The blonde one— Clint, says.
The man's eyes land on the Asset again. "You have been through much."
The voice breaks through again, Yes. "Yes."
"Did you get it?"
The Asset feels his face furrow, "Get what?"
"Your uniform?"
"You have his uniform?" The man called Bucky chokes out, kneeling beside the asset, closely.
"We buried it. In the woods. I could show you where."
"You remember?"
The man looks up, affront on his face. "I'm old. Not senile."
The voice laughs. The Asset does as well. The group looks at him as if he's done something unusual. The Asset stops.
The man, the friend, looks at him and speaks, "will you help an old friend up?"
The Asset nods, pulling him gently from the chair onto his feet. "Do you require assistance walking?"
"Just my cane." The man grabs a cane and begins walking.
—-
Bucky Barnes
The lady at the front makes Tony sign something to check the man out. They promise to bring him back shortly and they begin walking slowly with him towards the edge of town.
"Tell us." Bucky asks a bit desperately, "Would you mind telling us what happened?" He glances over at Steve who is walking in time with the man. Taking short steps and almost hovering. He likens the motion to how he is with Lydia. This man means something to Steve, even if he doesn't know it consciously.
"What do you want to know?"
"Everything."
"Who are you?" Bucky doesn't hesistate before removing his hat and fake glasses. He pushes his hair to the side, like he knows it is in most pictures from the 40's and looks at the man, about to speak.
"Sergeant Barnes." The man says before he can.
"You know who I am?"
"After he stayed with us, I did much research in my adult years. I know who you are. I heard when you were found in ice. I see you on the television. But…" he glances at Steve, "he was taken, and also placed on ice?"
"Kind of." Bucky says slowly, eyeing Steve who doesn't seem to be paying attention. "It's a long story."
"I will tell you." The man says as they turn a corner and start down past a dying garden. "My father, find him, in gorge. Bring him home. My mother was furious. But he was unlike any American soldier she had met. When he was asleep and crying, she changed her mind to help him."
The whole group, except for the man and Steve, take a halting step at the admission. Steve… crying?
"Why… why was he crying?"
The man shrugged, "he had broken back, many wounds, was many reasons to cry."
"But we began to talk to him and he smile too, laying on our wooden floors in bloody uniform. He would smile. My mother and I feed him. We clean his wounds and they heal, but his back was broken. Couldn't move on his own. He and I talked much. Trading words. We don't understand much, but he taught to me 'friend' in English."
Bucky feels his chest constrict. There was a whole almost a week that if he'd just taken the time to actually look for his friend… he could have found him.
Natasha's hand slips into his and he nods at her. Thankful for the distraction.
"Then what happened?"
"Someone told patrol. They came for him. We tried to hide him under bed, but they re-break his back, dragging him out."
Bucky winces. Natasha squeezes his hand.
"The soldiers threaten village with death if we do not send letter announcing burial. So we do. My parents tell me never to speak of it again."
Silence falls over the group as they walk. The ground crunching beneath them.
"Thank you." Bucky says. "For treating him with kindness those five days."
"He was kind. I never forgot him. I always regret not doing more to stop soldiers."
"No." Steve says, voice calm. They wait for him to say more, but he doesn't.
The man looks up at Steve and a sad expression falls on his face. "Last words you spoke to me was Thank You."
"The voice was grateful."
The man looks at Bucky, who can feel the pinched expression on his own face. "Very long story."
"Please," the man says, "explain. Friend." He gestures to Steve and Bucky feels his shoulders sag.
"When he was taken by those soldiers in your village. He was held hostage by Hydra, you know them?" The man nods. "They—" his voice cracks, "they knew who he was, and they tortured him, trying to break him down so they could use him as their own weapon."
The man's face is startled and sad, but Bucky knows if he stops he won't be able to start again. "He fought against them for 30 years, but they found a way to control using a device implanted in his brain." The man's eyes are wide as saucers, "they forced him to—" Bucky grits his teeth, "do things he would never do willingly."
"Stop." The man says, his hand resting on Steve's arm. "I understand."
Steve doesn't react to the touch, but Bucky watches as his eyes blink towards the man and then back to the trail ahead.
—
The man leads them to a huge pine tree. He circles to the back and points at the ground. "Five feet down."
—
Not too much later, Clint hands up a worn metal box to Tony who hands it to Bucky who hesitates before handing it to Steve.
"This is yours." He says, "Yours."
Steve takes the box and looks at them, unsure.
"Open it." Lydia says, "don't keep us in suspense!"
Steve sets the box on the ground and kneels before it. His hands are slow as they pry open the rusted and squeaking metal.
Steve pulls out a cloth bag. He pulls open the cinched top and gently drags out the ripped, torn, and bloody remains of his Captain America uniform.
Bucky's breathing becomes a bit ragged. He kneels next to Steve, watching as the man inspects it. He looks into Steve's eyes, hoping to see recognition there.
Steve's hand runs over the star. "I wore this."
Bucky nods, "yes, you did."
Steve is tracing the leather straps and his fingers start to open one of the pouches as if by habit. Bucky's breath gets caught in his throat as Steve pulls out a brass compass.
"Open it." Bucky whispers. "Peggy's in there."
Steve's fingers pry open the lid and sure enough, a faded and slightly disintegrating picture of Peggy still resides secured to the lid.
"Holy shit." He hears Tony utter. "Aunt Peggy?"
Steve's finger ghosts across the picture and his eyes are far away.
"Do you remember her?"
"The voice is nervous."
Bucky glances at the group. They'd had a small discussion about who the voice is… Some form of Steve's consciousness that they couldn't erase completely. Tony had called Bruce and Bruce warned them that sometimes dual personalities like this stick around forever. It may never be 'just Steve' again.
Bucky didn't care. If his friend was safe, then that was enough for him.
"I can't believe after all these years, the uniform is found!" Clint says, smiling, "And, other than being a mess from the fall, it's in pretty good condition! Can I see?"
Steve's fingers tighten on the fabric and Clint immediately pulls his hands back. "Okay, not a problem. It's yours. Sorry! Don't worry, nobody is going to take it from you."
Steve slowly folds it up and secures it back into the cloth bag. He holds it under his arm, but Bucky notices that the compass gets placed in his front pocket.
Good.
—