Tony

Tony hates giving up on things. He likes to work on a problem until it's solved. Or… at least until he can see why he can't solve it.

So even though the man in front of him is half robot and half brainwashed assassin, Tony knows there's a solution. There has to be.

Because there's no way he's leaving that look on Barnes' face.

Clint comes back, arms loaded with food to feed 30. They devoured most of it, and Clint sits next to him, both of them watching silently as Barnes sits next to Steve, asking him about different foods, if he is still hungry, or if he needs something, anything else.

Clint pulled out his phone. Tony feels his phone buzz.

C: I've never seen Barnes like this.

T: You try bringing your best friend's brain back from the Hydra-blender

C: No. That's not what I mean. I'm just saying…

Tony waits for the follow up text while he watches Clint study Barnes who is explaining to Steve that he's required to drink enough water to stay hydrated.

His phone buzzes again.

C: I wasn't there. When he first came out of the ice. I didn't meet him back then. By the time I did he was already jaded from you and the fight with Loki.

Tony wants to take offense to that statement but he doesn't.

C: What do we really even know about Barnes? Because the guy I'm seeing now, is not the one I've known for the past 2-ish years.

T: Yeah. But again, this is the first time we're seeing him with Steve.

C: Yeah. That's what I'm trying to say. This is how Barnes acts around a friend.

Tony's head whips to Clint and the implication hangs between them. Tony notices Natasha and Lydia eyeing them and he knows they know they're talking over text. Can't even whisper around the soldiers. Tony bristles a bit as he responds.

T: You're ignoring the fact that they've been friends since childhood, and that Barnes' is feeling 70 years worth of guilt.

Clint doesn't respond. And Tony hates what Clint's trying to imply. Not that he thinks Clint's trying to put the blame all on him. But it sure does make one think how things could have been different the last couple years if maybe they'd just tried to be actual friends instead of annoyed-at-each-other-co-workers.

Tony watches as Barnes watches Steve brush the front of his hair back. Steve freezes at the motion, and Tony sees his look to Barnes, as if waiting for punishment, which is something Tony's brain can't fathom at the moment, but Barnes just smiles, a wide grin that has an ache to it.

"Yeah, Steve. We gotta get your haircut. Remember they would force you to keep it a certain length when they were filming those newsreels? Made you so mad."

Steve doesn't respond. But oh… Tony's heart clenches at the look in his eyes, like a man trying to claw his way back from madness, and the words are his lifeline.

"Then I suggested that Peggy was the only one qualified to cut your hair. And they tried to fight me, but I made a point about it being mostly the women at home watching the newsreels and buying the bonds. So we needed to focus on that target audience. I remember you blushed so hard when I said 'Peggy will know what will drive the women crazy'. She punched me in the arm for that comment later, but it was worth it."

Steve still doesn't respond, but he's not looking away, he's staring at Barnes' like he's water in the middle of the desert. So Barnes' keeps talking, latching onto the opportunity.

"The first day she cut your hair, there was a whole audience, they made a show of it, the boys, the 107th. You complained but were a really good sport when they made you take off your shirt. They filmed it and everything... Geez, I wish not everything got lost in that fire."

"Was my dad there?"

Barnes' looks up at him, "Howard? Yeah… he was there."

Tony swallows, "did he film it? Or was it the news people?"

"I don't think he filmed that…" Then Barnes' eyes widen, "but he did have a camera a couple months later, he filmed a bunch then! Would he… Were those kept separate?"

Tony thinks of the giant storage lockers of his fathers that he's never even glanced at. "I don't know. But I got some places I can check."

Barnes smiles at him, a real genuine grateful smile that has Clint looking at him with an 'I told you so' look. He wants to tell Barton to cram it. But he just nods at Barnes instead and shoots off a text to Pepper to have someone they trust start going through those storage units.

She texts back a question mark. He's never asked to even blink at his dad's old war stuff, although he has refused to get rid of it too, so he knows that says a lot more than he likes.

T: Just… Barnes may need something in there. Tell them to look for old film reels.

P: Barnes? Is he doing okay after DC? What's going on over there? Is this an Avengers thing?

T: I promise to explain when we get back. Actually. I think you'll guess pretty fast, but I should be home soon.

P: Okay… Be careful.

T: I will, Pep.

—

Natalia Alianovna Romanova

Trained as a Black Widow, in the depths of the Red Room, under the thumb of a narcissist megalomaniac of a woman, Natasha is used to the unexpected, the painful, the heartbreaking and the vile.

And yet…

Somehow this is able to break her heart. It's knowing what was done to him… having experienced it, and knowing it happened to him over and over and over. The scars she has, the broken bones, the torture she received in order to force her to behave. It happened for the first year or so. The marks remain, but she fell in line quickly and behaved. She excelled in what they ordered her to do. She was the top of the Widows. Even since she's left their order, she's had to fight a few and still come out on top.

But this man in front of her. He fought that torture. He fought their control for 30+ years. She's watched the tapes and seen the pictures. She's read the scientific reports on his body and how his muscles shredded itself to bits as the serum forced him to keep living. The marks disappeared. No trace of the agony he was forced to endure. The villains who tortured him having no need to feel guilt when his body erased the marks of their brutality.

And then. When even then they couldn't win… They erased him. They rebooted his brain and made him into their living robot and even then he fought them in his own ways.

Protecting her sisters. Marking their graves. Teaching them, training them, saving them. Hiding their tears. Not killing Howard. Not killing her.

She thinks of her headmistress. The woman who would have made this man bow before her as she trained him how to seduce women and men for his missions.

She remembers her own training, starting at 12, and doesn't shudder outwardly, but inside her stomach clenches. What she assumed was normal now seems so vile and twisted. How could they do that to me. To my sisters. And now she looks at the man who was removed from himself. How could they do that to anyone?

They took our innocence. She thinks. Literally. Both of their 'firsts' were forced and part of 'training'.

She looks at Lydia who sits, with her feet tucked under Steve's thigh, keeping her toes warm. It's not sexual. It's more like a little sister. And she understands. The desire to seek comfort with someone who understands.

She watches James, the man she finds that she truly does love and even trust. Someone who has never forced his will or desires on her, someone who has let her lead every step of the way. And she looks at Steve.

A man who right now must be led, but… one day. She knows he'll come back. He has to. She looks at James' face and the open despair that riddles his face every time the 'Asset' says something unnerving or horrifying in that plain tone…

Steve must come back. He has to. Or James will never feel another ounce of peace.

She wants Steve to heal for her sisters, for what he's done for them and how he even saved her life. But mostly he wants Steve back for James. It may be the tiniest bit selfish. But she's never been allowed to be selfish much. So she allows herself this.

Let the man she loves have his best friend back. For him. For her.

—-

Clint

The sheer level of trust that Barnes has been bestowing on both him and Tony… the look of surprise they share every time Barnes asks them to help with something, or for their advice… you could have bowled them over with a wisp of wind.

They're on their way back to New York. The base didn't have much information, at least not much they could stomach for long. And something was happening with Steve.

They couldn't explain it. Like… he's sick, but they know with the serum he can't be physically sick.

And before they got on the plane in St. Petersburg, he watched Barnes dial a number.

"Sam?"

Clint looks at Tony who shrugs, but Natasha explains that this is the guy who helped them in D.C.

"Yeah, It's me, Bucky." Clint watches Steve blink and turn towards Barnes. That name eliciting some reaction. Even if it's just a flick of his eyes.

Clint pauses. Bucky. They don't call him that. But Steve did. Maybe… Clint looks at Tony and he can see that he's having a similar line of thought.

"I was wondering… Do you have any experience with…" they watch as Barn-Bucky looks up at Steve with a helpless sort of look. "Split personality disorder?"

There's a pause as Sam speaks.

"No, I think it's more… PTSD triggered?" Barnes huffs a rueful chuckle, "yeah, yeah, I've done some—- yeah, things have sure changed since the 40's. For good— uh-huh. Yeah… — for sure, I'd really appreciate it. I need some help. I'm out of my depth.— I really appreciate it. Could you come to New York? Yeah, uh—- maybe in the next few days? Where—-" he cuts off and looks up at Tony. "Would you be okay if I had Sam stay at the tower? He might be able to help with—" they all look at Steve who stands, with his shoulders rigid and eyes pinched. Not even paying attention to his surroundings. Whatever mental battle is happening… It's not a pretty one.

Tony looks back at Bucky and smiles, "yeah Bucky. He can stay as long as he needs."

The surprised look that morphs into a soft smile on Bucky's face from the use of his nickname makes it worth it. "Thanks. Sam? Yeah, you can come to Stark Tower,—-" he laughs, "Yep, that Stark Tower. I don't know. Maybe. Thanks, no— Yeah, Thanks, I really appreciate it."

He hangs up and looks at Steve. "We're gunna go back to New York. We have someone coming to help. Are you okay with that?"

"The Asset is fully functional. The Asset does not require help."

Clint winces at Bucky's desperate eyes. But then he watches as Bucky steps forward and says, "Steve? I'm going to hug you." And then he does. Wrapping the giant man in an embrace and clutching him tightly. "We're going to help you. You're in there somewhere Steve, I just know it. I'll help you."

"Why is the Asset not adequate enough for this mission?"

Clint feels the air get sucked out of the room. And… yikes… the horrid puzzle pieces start to click into place.

Bucky steps back and his eyes are widening in realization. Steve's face is set in a hard line. Eyes hurt and mouth a frown.

Suddenly everything makes sense.

The regression in behavior, the mental battle, the way Steve seems sick because he's fighting a war within himself.

And they all just stare at him.

No idea what to say.

And the Asset's frown deepens and he takes a step back, that immediately makes Bucky step forward, reaching for him.

"Steve—"

"The Asset." Steve seethes, eyes angry.

"Okay." Bucky chokes out. "Okay. The Asset. That's what you want to be called? Okay. I want the asset. I want whoever you want to be. I just want you safe. Will you come with us? To New York?"

The desperation in his voice makes Clint grimace, how have their lives just become one trauma after another?

"You won't try to terminate the Asset?" Steve says flatly, the distrust clear.

Bucky's eyes close. "No. No one is terminating anyone."

"Is the Asset under the Avengers' command?"

"No." Tony says. "The Asset is under his own command."

"So the Asset is allowed to leave?"

Clint watches Bucky's hand reach out, before stopping. He watches as Bucky's hands tremble. "Yes. The Asset is free to leave." Bucky rasps out, "but please don't."

"Why."

"Because we all want you here. The Asset. We want the Asset. Please don't go."

Natasha walks up and stands in front of Steve. "If you leave… What will you do?"

Steve looks at her, his eyes staring at her intensely. "The Asset has no current missions."

"Does the Asset want a mission?"

"The Asset wants to help."

And Clint watches as Bucky's head tips back, biting his cheeks and eyes clenched shut.

"Okay." Natasha says softly, gesturing to Lydia. "There are plenty of people, and spiders who need help. And you would be an amazing addition to our team. We need you. We need the Asset. Will you help us?"

"Yes." The response is immediate and forceful and it makes Clint's heart ache.

He just wants to be wanted. This man. Who has received no love in the last 70 years…

Even in a separate subconscious, he just wants to be loved and needed.

Well. They can do that. Clint's good at finding broken things and helping them back together. He'll do whatever he can to help Bucky. To help Steve. To help the Asset.

—

Tony

Steve doesn't fight them after they make the switch to calling him the Asset. He seems to relax. But Tony doesn't miss the agonized expression that Bucky has everytime Steve isn't in his eyeline.

He walks over and he grabs Bucky's shoulder. "Whatever is left of Steve is good enough for you. Right?"

And it's the grimace that Bucky wears before he shoves his face in his hands that tells Tony this is tearing him up inside. Which he'd already kind of guessed. BUt man it sucks to be right sometimes.

"He's alive. He's safe, barring the psycho lady after him, he's with us, and he has time to heal. Whatever that definition ends up being for him. Are you gonna be okay?"

"No." Bucky responds softly, "I'm never going to be fully okay. Not since watching what happened to him. What I let happe—"

"No." Tony cuts him off. "None of this is your fault. What if it was you, what if you'd been the one to fall? We know now that you would have survived. Would you wnat Steve feeling this guilt?"

Bucky doesn't respond.

"Exactly. Neither of you would be happy with either arrangement. So here we are. We have what we have when we have it, and we do with that what we can."

"You're quoting Natasha."

"How do you know she's not quoting me?" And the wry smile Bucky gives him makes Tony think it all just might be okay.

"'Cuz Natasha's the wisest one outta all of us."

Tony nods. "You might have a point there Buckaroo."

"Call me that again and I'll shoot you."

"Noted."

—-