Bucky

It's a trepidatious thing. Watching his best friend live and breathe and even laugh sometimes. Bucky's eyes are stuck, moving between Steve and the film reels they've been devouring. But the fear of the Asset returning is like cold water dripping down his back. Persistent and aggravating.

Sam had gotten a call from his sister and left, saying he'd be back as soon as possible.

The elevator dings and everyone looks up to see Pepper clip through. Her heels clacking as she shuffles through papers. Her love of Captain America had been a total shock to Bucky, and when she'd said 'I'd wanted to talk to you about it, but you never seemed to want to talk about him'. Well… That had made Bucky feel like garbage. He could have shared Steve with her, met her dad who he may have known… He sighs.

She approaches Tony, holding out a myriad of things he needs to sign before looking over and smiling at them. "How's the Asset?"

Silence. Bucky's eyes go to Steve, wondering if just that could trigger a setback. But Steve's head just pops up and smiles at her, "sorry, no Asset. Just Steve." Her face goes pale, mouth dropping open and Steve looks nervous. "Sorry, is that okay?"

But Pepper just staggers forward, wobbly on her legs and holds a hand out. "Steve? Steve Rogers?"

Steve smiles, "yep, that's me." She looks at Bucky and Tony for confirmation and they nod and she laughs, a clear joyful sound. "Oh my heavens!" She sits on the coffee table in front of him. "My name is Pepper Potts and I've dreamed of meeting you ever since my dad told me his stories of serving under you!" She takes a deep breath and is about to speak when Steve gasps.

"Potts?" Pepper nods. "Hyram Potts." Steve says, eyes far away, his hand reaching out and holding some of her red hair in his hand, letting the strands slip through his fingers. "He had hair just this color!" Steve smiles and looks at her with such joy it makes Bucky want to break a table, or cry, or both. "He's a good soldier. Great man."

Pepper's throat bobs as Bucky watches her eyes get watery. Steve notices too, because he looks worried, "oh, I'm sorry-"

"No, no." She says quickly, wiping at her eyes, "you've made my life. He would have beamed to know you thought so."

Bucky doesn't miss the past tense, and neither does Steve, whose face grows somber. "When?" He asks softly.

Pepper takes a deep breath and straightens her shirt, "about 7 years ago. He kept your drawing. The one he begged you to keep."

"Drawing?" Steve asks, his brow furrowed.

"Yes, it was a helmet, u—"

"Flowers." Steve says in a rush. "An upside down helmet with flowers in it?"

Pepper nods, unable to speak. But Steve reaches forward and pulls her into a hug. Squeezing her tightly and Bucky and Tony watch in shock as the the most unlikely pair of people hug.

"Thank you." Steve whispers. "I'm honored that it meant something to him."

Pepper reaches out and touches his face, "it meant the world to him. It's framed in my mother's house."

"I'd like to meet her." Steve says, then pauses, "if I can."

She practically glows, "of course. Whenever, and if you can. She would love that."

Laughter in the film reel pulls them back to the present and Pepper stands, "it's been an honor Captain Rogers. I hope there's plenty of time to talk in the future."

"Me too." He says softly as she walks to Tony and takes the finished documents. She kisses Tony quickly and disappears back into the elevator.

Tony looks at Steve and gives him a wry eyebrow. "I don't have to worry about you taking my fiancé, do I?"

And Bucky watches as Steve blushes and his eyes go wide. "N-no, I wouldn't!"

Tony just laughs and nudges Steve's shoulders. "I know. Just messing with you."

Steve lets out a weak chuckle and scrubs at his neck. "You remember her dad, Buck?"

"No." Bucky admits, "what missions?"

Then Steve stiffens. "Never mind. You weren't with the team yet. It was right after the rescue."

Everyone in the room knows what that means. And Bucky sighs, rolling his eyes. "Oh, you're all gunna pretend that a little human experimentation is something to get all quiet and tense about when we have—" he points to Tony, "cyborg over here," points to Natasha and Clint, "twin assassins raised from childhood to murder," and he gestures to Steve, "and his whole story?"

Steve glances at Clint, "um, what? You're an assassin too?"

And that breaks the room into a fit of laughter that has Bucky finally taking a breath.

—-

Natasha

She waits until the rest of the group, which has been on edge since the Asset refused to sleep, now starts to relax. As the film reels continue, a lot of them just Howard rambling about things that sends Natasha's mind spinning, they fall asleep, one by one. Until it's just her, James, and Steve awake.

"James?" She calls, "would you get us something to eat?" She looks at Steve, "any requests?"

He looks at James and then dips his head in a way that makes Natasha want to ruffle his hair. "Do they still make french fries?"

James smiles, "yeah, Steve, they do. I'll go get some."

Steve smiles, "thanks. I guess I am really hungry."

Natasha walks James to the elevator and he turns to her. "I know you're trying to get rid of me. I assume you have a good reason?"

Natasha brushes a thumb over his eyebrow, "were you trained as an assassin and taught how to use sex as a weapon?" She watches as James' face freezes and anguish covers it. She takes a deep breath and places both hands on his face, "calm down, I just want to talk to him. I've had years to work through it. I just want to see where his head is about it, without any pressure from you."

"I wou—"

"James. If the situations were reversed, wouldn't Steve be worrying and fretting about you?"

"Yes, but—" James protests, "I was already knowledgeable in that area before the ice. Steve wasn't."

Natasha's eyebrow arcs and she sighs, "exactly. Which is why it's even more delicate. Let me give this a shot. If he doesn't want to talk, I won't push."

James looks back at his friend and nods. "Okay, I'll be back soon."

Natasha places a soft kiss on his lips and walks back to the couch.

Steve looks up at her and grimaces, "I feel like I'm in trouble."

She laughs softly, "oh? And why is that?"

"You just got rid of Bucky. Not that I'm not hungry. I am." He says quietly, eyes still flitting between Howard's face on the film reel and hers, "but I know when I'm being isolated." He points to the sleeping figures, "figuratively."

She sighs and gestures to the seat next to him, "may I?" He nods and she sinks down, getting closer than she would normally to a person. He looks at her questioningly, but doesn't shift away. She nods, "exactly."

"What?"

"I'm too close." She says, gesturing to the space between them, "but, you haven't been allowed to pick your own personal space bubble for 70 years. So even though you want to move away, you don't. Because that training they shoved in you, is still there. Asset or not."

He swallows thickly and looks like he's about to move away from her to prove a point, but he just sighs and nods. "Never even heard the term personal space bubble before, but I can catch it's drift." She scooches a bit away and turns to face him, he angles to look at her and his face gets serious. "Is this some sort of test?"

"No." She says firmly. "But I do want to talk to you about something." He nods and turns to face her, looking serious. Natasha is caught off guard with how earnestly he looks at her. "What do you remember about the Red Room and it's training it gave you."

She feels the muscles in his hands clench the couch beneath them.

"Why?" He asks quietly.

"You recognized my scent as the Asset. Do you recognize it now?" He looks at her and leans forward, breathing closely to her neck and then pulling back, eyes glazed. "You're a spider."

"A widow." She corrects, "uh-hmm."

He blinks rapidly and then his shoulders relax, "so you know." She nods sadly, "yes. I do know."

"Don't tell Buck." Steve says, face sad, "please."

Natasha sucks in air between her teeth as her nose scrunches softly, "too late. The Asset told him."

Steve huffs out a deep breath, head tipping back. "Shit."

Natasha laughs, caught off-guard by his language. "Yes, you could say that."

"How'd he take it?"

"You mean, how did he take his best friend being used as a sex slave to accomplish assassination missions while he was completely unaware? Oh, he took it great."

Steve winces and then his face softens, "are you okay?"

She feels herself lean back, "what do you mean?"

Steve leans forward, hands grasping hers in a gesture of comfort, "you said you're a spid— widow. So you were trained too. Younger than me, I wish I'd been able to help. I'm so sorry."

And even though she's worked through this. Fought to overcome their training, and be more than what they made her to be. In that moment, she's that fiery little girl who's surrounded by adults who treat her like a doll to be tossed around and touched and used. Her throat grows tight at the radiating concern and care coming off the man who experienced his own type of hell. But here he is comforting her. Just like he did to all her 'sisters'.

She moves forward, wrapping her arms around him and feeling him drag her closer. He pulls her onto his lap in a move that surprises her, but that she doesn't resist. He holds her tightly, and she can imagine him doing this to the other widows. His hands are strategically held against her in non-threatening positions, and not in places that would make a little girl uncomfortable. He tucks her head under his chin and holds her, his warmth radiating like a blanket.

"Thank you," she says, "thank you for being kind to them and helping save the other widows. That's a debt I won't be able to repay."

She feels him sigh, "I got one killed." And she can feel the grief emanate from him. "I didn't know the rules. Or… the Asset didn't, and I was stupid. So stupid. I gave her up, letting her be taken by those monsters thinking they'd help her. Then the next thing I know they're making the Asset— me, dig her grave. No coffin. No box. Just me, laying her little lifeless body in that grave. Those moments of grief, of intense emotion are the moments I remember the most. A lot of the Asset's time is hazy for me. Like looking through blurred glass, but… those times I remember very well. The longer I go without the device, the more I remember."

She snuggles closer, allowing herself to be more vulnerable than she's been with anyone besides James or perhaps Clint, "you didn't know. And it sure as hell wasn't your fault. I've talked to a lot of widows recently. They all agree that you're the reason half of them are alive. Your fight training, your ability to hide their tears and make them feel loved or cared for even if it was just in small moments. Hell, Lydia was about to murder James for you."

He somehow manages to tuck her tighter against him, "thank you for saying that."

"I'm not just saying that." She says firmly, "I mean it. Are you okay with this level of touch?" It surprises her that he initiated it, but she wants to make sure.

"I don't know why—" he starts, "but I am. Especially with you. You remind me of the spiders, it's comforting to me to hold you like this. I think I used to do it with them a lot. Does it bother you?"

She shakes her head. "No. Strangely, it doesn't bother me at all, although I feel like it should because it's a very vulnerable position. But I trust you."

She feels him swallow thickly and nod, "I trust you too."

"The only positive gift the red room left. An unknowing and yet somehow unbreakable bond between a widow and her brain controlled trainer."

Steve laughs, a sound that makes her smile and laugh at the way his chest moves beneath her. "You know, with anyone else, James would be pissed I'm on their lap. And yet, I think he'll be thrilled."

"James." Steve says with a huff, "can't believe he lets you call him that."

"Bucky doesn't work for me."

"He must really love you." She stiffens at that, and he must notice because he back pedals, "or not. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have sai—"

"Steve." She whispers. "I love him too. Don't worry."

Relief courses through the man and she smirks. "He treats me right."

"He better." And she can tell the words slip out unbidden because he says them and then freezes. "Sorry." He whispers. "It's not my place to be protective of you. I didn't train you, but my instincts are telling me that I am. That you're a spider and I need to protect you." He shrugs, "hence the incredibly intimate hug that previous me would have been mortified to try with any human being let alone a girl."

"Girl?" She asks with a mock affront.

"I-I mean woman— A female, I didn't—" He stammer.

She laughs, "Steve, I'm messing with you. I am, indeed, a girl." To put him at ease she reaches up and pats his cheek fondly. Then shifts and adjusts in the hug to a more comfortable position. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"About what?"

"About any of the missions you were forced to use your body for? Of all the people in this room, I'm the most equipped to understand. So I just wanted to offer."

He winces slightly under her and she feels him take a deep breath. "I remember feeling so mortally embarrassed on the inside." He admits, "not able to control or have a say in what was happening to me, even though I wasn't being restrained or—" he cuts off, and she waits. "The Asset followed orders. But… It's not like they programmed the knowledge into me. You could order me to build a car, but I still wouldn't be able to do it without the knowledge or the tools… Do you understand what I mean?" She nods, trying to radiate understanding and calm as she listens. "So the first time, I just… didn't. I couldn't… And I was punished for it, because she thought I was fighting her."

Natasha remembers the tape of the whipping post.

"Then a spider died fighting for me. Asking why I'd gotten in trouble." Cold realization drips down Natasha's neck, confirmed by his next words. "So…" his voice gets low and weary, "the next time she asked, I pushed through the Asset and asked for instructions." He lays back, hands still wrapped around her on the couch, although she feels the tension in his fingers as they dig into her a bit, "the lady was so surprised, and I don't think she realized how inexperienced I was until then. But I had to spare the spiders. So I learned."

Learned.

Natasha wants to vomit.

She'd learned too.

She buries her head further against his chest. But she'd learned for her own survival. He'd learned for theirs.

"I'm going to snap her neck." Natasha whispers hotly, "when I find that bitch."

"She's still alive?"

Natasha's body goes rigid. Oh no… They hadn't even told him.

"Yes." She whispers. "She wants the Asset back."

It only takes a second, but Steve is clutching her painfully, his hands trembling.

"Oh no..." the man says loudly, pain in his voice, "no—"

She holds in the cry of pain as his fingertips begin to crush and bruise her. "Steve? Steve, what's happening?"

"He's—" he pants, "he heard. The Asset. He's afraid—" He cuts off, his head tipping back painfully far. "He hates her—"

"She's never getting a hold of you." She hisses, grabbing his shoulders.

"What's going on?" Natasha turns to see Tony rubbing his eyes and looking at them, taking in the scene, Natasha on Steve's lap being held tightly, while Steve looks like he's breaking into pieces, "where's Barnes?"

That snaps Steve too, "don't let her get Bucky!" He practically shouts, "I—" he gasps for breath and then is burying his head against Natasha's shoulder, still gripping her with too much force, "I-I can't— I-I can't hold on."

"Stay with us, Steve!" She says in a panic, "fight him. It's your mind, your body."

"Guys?" Clint asks, now awake, "what the hell?"

But the absolute grief at Steve leaving them again distracts Natasha, she holds Steve's face with both her hands, "don't you leave us now. Don't. James needs you. We all do. Fight. That's what James said you always were, serum or no, a fighter, so don't you make a liar out of your best friend. Fight, dammit. FIght it."

Steve's eyes cling to hers as her words are a lifeline. She can practically see the internal war raging behind them. "Fight it. You're stronger than anyone I know. Inside and out." She says harshly, and she's surprised to find that it's not a lie. She knows a lot of strong people. The people in the room, and James, at the top of the list, but no one has done and gone all that Steve has, pre-serum, wartime, torture, brain control, red room, and now. Fighting for his own mind, his own life. "Don't leave James. Don't." It might be a bit of a guilt trip, but she sees the determination building in those eyes. The brothers who would do anything for each other. Even fight brain control. "Stay. Right. Here." She buries herself against him again. Wrapping her hands around him and snuggling her head under his chin. "Don't leave your spider." She whispers.

She can hear his shaky breaths and it takes a few minutes, but he relaxes, fingers no longer digging into her, "thanks." He whispers.

She doesn't respond, just squeezes him tighter. He responds in kind.

—

Clint

He wakes to a scene that throws him for a loop. Natasha sitting like a child in Steve's lap, his arms wrapped around her protectively, but pain and anguish on his face.

He gleans quickly that he's fighting the Asset for possession. He watches on baited breath as Natasha uses her words and her hands on Steve's face to talk him down, using Barnes as a token, but Clint doesn't begrudge her that. He gets it.

After Steve seems to overcome the Asset, remaining mentally present, he watches in surprise as Natasha does not leave his lap, burying herself further and his mind wonders, what the hell have I missed? How long was I asleep?

Eventually Barnes returns and his eyes widen briefly at the sight of his girlfriend in his best friend's lap, before he shoves the bag of something that smells amazing on the table and sits next to them, head resting against the two.

Clint listens, and eats fries with the rest, as Natasha briefly explains what happened and Barnes just nods, his hand resting on her back.

Finally, he hears Steve take a deep breath and blink slowly. "I'm tired…" They all look at him and he smiles sadly, "I can't not sleep."

Barnes nods and leads him to a bedroom. Natasha slips over to Clint and gives him a few more specifics about what she and Steve had talked about. Clint feels sick at the end of it, but they just settle into the couch, falling into a semi-restful trance.

—-

The Asset

He wakes in a bed that is more comfortable than he can remember being in his entire existence. He looks up, seeing the mission resting in a chair besides the bed.

But this time he remembers some of it. Steve had taken over after he slept. He feels fury rise at being tricked. They want Steve so much more than they want the Asset.

The Asset slips out of his bed, not alerting the mission. He knows how to be stealthy.

The door opens without a noise and he walks quietly and confidently out towards the elevator. Even having been shoved aside the last day or so, he's still aware of his exits and escape routes. The Asset was awake when they entered this section of the building, and he had mentally categorized all of the ways he could utilize this room and its contents if needed. He walks into the common room, and the breathing and heart rates inform him that only one of the humans in the room is awake.

"Steve?" He turns slowly, eyeing the man with the brown hair that screams familiar, even if the face isn't exactly the same. "You need something?"

The Asset calculates how much time it would take to snap his neck. Nano seconds.

A bloodless death would be better. Less of a mess. But the eyes of the man are kind, and even though the Asset is furious about being everyone's second choice. This man did help free him from the handlers that pierced his eyes and made his brain fuzzy.

No. Death is not necessary.

"Just need to get water." He says, trying to mimic the tone and inflection that he hears from the humans.

The man pauses for just a second, eyes searching the Asset. But the Asset has been trained for this type of interrogation. He's been taught how to feign human behavior for rare missions when he needs to make a connection before killing them. He falls back on that training. He yawns, something the Asset was never allowed to do because it showed weakness. He stretches during the yawn and then cracks his neck. "You need anything?" The Asset asks, knowing this is a common question humans ask each other.

The man in front of him relaxes, "nah, I'm good. Kitchen's down the hallway and to the left. Glasses are in the cupboard by the fridge. Filtered or tap are both available."

Half of those words have no meaning to the Asset, but he nods as if agreeable and walks perfectly casually out of the man's eyesight.

As he approaches the kitchen, he sees the exit sign above the door to the stairway and he gently depresses the crash bar, slipping behind it. The Asset then begins his descent, moving with ease and grace. He briefly notes that the sleep has helped him regain full facilities, and he reaches the bottom of the long stair shaft in less than a minute. He presses out the bottom door to an empty lobby. He sees a security guard at the main doors and a human behind a desk. He slowly makes his way towards the doors and nods confidently as he strides outside. The guard just nods, not stopping him and the Asset breathes deeply as he takes in the semi-fresh air of the city around him.

He has one mission.

Find and kill her, before she finds him.

—-