Seri grabbed Jo's Go game, kissed Len goodnight and left for the hospital. Scotty came over to the doctor. "I heard from the engineers on the Enterprise."

"And?"

"It's going to be about a year before she'll be ready."

"I heard you say something like that to Spock the other day."

"Aye, that was my estimate. Today they made it official."

"You know you always have a home with us."

"Thanks for that. I appreciate it. Mama made it clear that we have nothing to worry about. I have a feeling if I got a hotel room somewhere, she would come and drag me to Georgia."

"No, but she would call you every day to make sure you were okay."

"And I would end up at the farm anyway."

Len laughed as he put his hand on the other man's shoulder. "Probably."

"I love your mother."

"Do you want a room in the house or one of the bungalows?"

"I don't know. I mean all of the rooms in your house are huge. My mum's house was only four rooms and a bathroom. I think the entire thing could fit into yours and Seri's rooms."

Len couldn't help but laugh. "I love how you exaggerate. Has Jim caught on yet?"

Scotty's shocked look kept the doctor laughing. "What do you mean?"

"'Cap'n it'll take three days ta finish.' Then you get it done in one. Don't think I haven't noticed you always triple your time estimates."

"How else could I maintain my reputation as a miracle worker?" His smirk told the rest. "He hasn't figured it out."

"Yet."

"Aye…yet."

"You should take a bungalow. Sarah will have your things put in there. Maybe it will feel a little like home."

"Thank you, Len, for everything." Scotty looked like he would cry.

"Just remember, every night we have a family dinner. I'll have the leaves put in the table. And Tucker is there."

"Really?!" The engineer hadn't sounded that happy since before Nibiru.

"He's running things while we're here."

"I wanted to talk to him about the new weather systems he's been developing. I've been sent a few designs from Starfleet engineering. They were interesting ideas and I didn't know they were his until I saw his name. I mean how many Tucker McCoy's could there be?"

"That are distillers and engineers? Probably not many."

"I forgot about the distillery." The engineer was feigning innocence.

"Sure, you did. Why do I think you and Owen have been talking?"

"Well, the laddie had an idea for a reflux still that incorporated…" Len's eyes were glazing over. "You really don't care do you?"

"Not really, but I'll be happy to sample the result. Just don't blow yourselves up. I don't have time for that. Time for this old man to get to bed. We may be able to take Jim home tomorrow depending on what PT says. If not, tomorrow it will most likely be the next day."

"Goodnight laddie." McCoy turned to leave. "Len, you've done good."

"We don't know that yet." The doctor's head dropped.

"Yes, we do." Len continued to look at the floor. "No matter what happens you've done good."

"Thank you." He didn't look up as he made his way back to his bedroom. Scotty shook his head; he never understood the underlying doubt that plagued the good doctor. Maybe one day they could have a long talk over a couple of single malts.

The bedroom door was open with the light on. "Hello Donkey."

"What did I do?" Something was up, Len just prayed it wasn't something he didn't realize he had done.

"Nothing, Evan said he is going to switch with Seri. In case Jim is bad tonight he wants to be there for him. How are you doing?"

"Better than the other night. I want to go home, but I don't want to rush Jim. He needs to heal enough for transport."

"Alright. I heard you say in a day or so."

"Probably." Crystal started to fuss. Len walked around Joce and into her room "Where's my girl?" The little girl's face lit up at the sound of her uncle's voice. "There you are. Did your mommy leave you in here? She is so mean." Her little arms reached up toward him. He picked her up and carried her to his room.

"You know I'm not that mean?"

He had a comical frown on his face as he shook his head for Crystal. "You can play in here if you want." Joce brought in one of her puzzle toys. "Let's put this here on the bed. There, show me how it goes together." He laid next to the little girl smiling at her tenacity. She wouldn't stop until the ball was put together. "Just like your daddy. Here baby." He handed her the orange piece.

"She loves you so much. Len, it will be good having you home for a year. I wish it was for a better reason."

"But you'll take this." He looked up at her.

"Yeah. I've missed you." She laid down on the other side of her little girl. She wanted to be able to look the man in the eye, not look down at him.

"I've missed you too. Funny how much better we do when we aren't married."

"Yeah." She turned the blue piece Crystal had picked up so the little one could see how it fit. "You scared me."

"Sorry about that."

"It's alright. I never thought about it before this."

"Thought about what?"

"Losing you."

"There was a time that wouldn't have been a bad thing as far as you were concerned."

"I hope you know that's not true I never wanted you hurt or dead."

"Not physically at least. I don't blame you for any of it." He handed Crystal another piece of the puzzle.

"It is rarely only one person that destroys a marriage. I did my fare share to ruin it."

"But I know it was mostly me. Let me have that. Let me take responsibility for my failures."

"Only partial responsibility, how is that? Compromise?"

"Alright, 90 percent my fault."

"80 percent." She was giggling. "I'll give you 80 percent at most. Anyway, it's good you'll be home."

"Please don't tell anyone; well, you can tell Evan. Seri knows, she's read me. I'm embarrassed to say this. It sounds bad, self-indulgent."

"How bad could it be? Remember, I've seen you at your worst."

"Not really, that was reserved for Sarah and Jake. Here Crystal." He handed her the final piece. "I'm glad to be going home. The world is falling down around us and I'm happy."

"You are happy to go home, not happy about what happened. You sure as hell aren't happy about the tents on the quad and why they're there. I saw you with Jim, you aren't happy about that."

"No, but all I want now is to smell the jasmine, the pines, and the mukluks. I want to ride at a full out gallop until I don't feel anything. I want…"

"To not be Dr. McCoy."

"To not be Lieutenant Commander McCoy. I don't want to be him, not now."

"And at home you're Lenny."

"I am to you."

"No, to me you're Donkey. You will still be lord of the manor."

"You are never going to let me live that down, are you?"

"No chance. Have you talked to Ginny since that summer?"

"No, I hear she got married, but I don't know much else."

"I find that hard to believe."

"Alright, you're right. I've kept up with her life. She's married, but they are separated. She is living on the moon colony and has another home in Belfast, Maine. She is due to come back to Earth in six months."

"That's more like my Donkey. I knew you couldn't just let her go. No matter what you still love your sister."

"Maybe, but I don't like her. And I certainly don't want her near Jo."

"I get it. You know, there have been some changes to the town since you were there last." Joce thought a change of conversation would help her ex's mood.

"I heard Des has been transferred to St. Basil's."

"He has, and Mustafa had to put an addition onto the mosque. Also, there is a new fountain in the park. It has all of the names of the town's famous sons and daughters. Don't tell Jim, but both of your names and Seri's name are on it."

"I won't. Right now, isn't a good time for him to find out. It will just upset him. I'm not thrilled, but I understand they think it's an honor. Don't worry, I'll smile when the town counsel tells me."

They heard the front door open and shut. It wasn't long before Seri walked into the room. "Where's my little niece. Time for your bath young lady." She smiled at the two before picking up the little girl and her completed puzzle ball. She grabbed a towel, diaper, and pajama's from Joce and Evan's room before heading to the bigger bathroom. The bathroom attached to Ben and Hikaru's bedroom had a bath with a stool next to it. It was set up to make it easier to bathe the girls. Bubble bath and bath toys would keep Crystal occupied while she made sure the little one was clean. She knew Len and Joce needed the time to reconnect. The past couple of weeks had been a crucible of tension and raw emotions. A little normal conversation would do both of them some good. Also, she loved to hear the way Crystal giggled when Seri blew bubbles from her hands.

"Seri is nicer than I ever was."

"I don't think so. You're pretty sweet. But you're right, she is amazing. Still don't know what she sees in this grumpy old man. Anything about the farm I should know? I heard they revamped the bridge. Jake and Evan sent me a lot of communiques regarding the changes, but I honestly haven't had time to go through them. I thought I would have more time to read through it all."

"I guess between redoing the operating rooms and jumping off cliffs you didn't have much down time." She had to get a dig in about the cliff. His eyes became slits telling her she definitely hit home with the joke. "Well, the cows have a new milking barn. The shoots have also been replaced, along with a couple of the paddocks. The hay pasture took off this year, we may not have to buy any for the winter. Three of the Arabians are going to foal and we already have buyers on a wait list for them and the Friesians when we breed them later this year. Maybe Jim will help with that?"

"That would be good as long as it isn't in the next month."

"No, Jake said it will be a few months. We have been able to make a nice profit on Breeze's covers. He is proving to be rather popular."

"I heard he won his last couple of races."

"Two fifty-mile ones, yes he did. We have a couple of the ladies racing him, but Jo wants to start."

"Not until she is at least sixteen. I don't want her out there on her own yet."

"I agree, but you know your daughter."

"I wonder?"

"What?"

"Just thinking about Jim's recovery. I wanted to talk to you and Evan about the house."

"Our house?"

"No, the main house. I think we may need to put an addition onto it. With Jim moved in and the rest of the extended family I just think we need more space."

"Alright, but it will take time to design it and get it right."

"We can talk later." He took a deep breath before rolling over onto his back. "This is…"

"Hard, I know." She laid back, staring at the ceiling with him. "It's nice to get out of your head a little."

"It is a fucked-up place to be right now."

"Right now?" He turned to look at her as she shook with laughter. "You know it will get better once we get home."

"Better and worse; he's going to be a difficult patient."

"You can handle him."

"I was thinking more for Mama. I can get him back physically; the rest is for her and Seri. Joce, if they can't, he will lose his command. I talked to Spock. Starfleet has no qualms about giving it to him if Jim isn't one hundred percent."

"How do you feel about that?"

"Spock's the best choice. He'll do well."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know. I don't know. If he can't come back from this then he definitely can't captain a starship."

"And you?"

"That's a different issue. I doubt I'll go back. I can't. Joce, if I fail at this…"

"This isn't David, and you didn't fail there."

"Sure. I want to get the fuck out of here. I want out."

"Of here or Starfleet?"

"I don't know. I guess it depends on a few things. How Starfleet handles this, and Jim."

"You have made a mark for yourself in Starfleet. I see it on the news."

"I make the news?"

"More than a little. The three of you are…let's just say famous."

"Great. Infamous is probably more accurate. That explains the stares from the civilians." He had turned to face Joce as she continued to look at the ceiling. He watched as Seri brought Crystal into Joce and Ev's room to put her down for bed. Her voice lilted across the hall as she sung the little one to sleep. "Joce, thanks."

She turned to look at him. "For what?"

"Talking to me about everything and nothing. It helped."

"We all have this. All of us. I can't wait to get everyone back to the farm a settled. I think we will all be better with our own things around us."

"Even you?"

"Even me. Seri stopped singing. Time to get some sleep. Good night Donkey." She kissed him on the forehead before leaving for her bedroom.

Seri touched Joce's arm as she walked by. They smiled knowingly at each other before entering their rooms and closing the doors. Len was looking at the ceiling again. "I'm glad you're here. We need to talk."

"Didn't anyone ever tell you not to say that to a lady."

He chuckled. "Bad choice of words. I need to talk about what happens if Jim doesn't get his command back."

"I assumed we would be staying on Earth." She sat next to him tucking her legs under her as she got comfortable. "Would you want to go back to Starfleet?"

"I don't like the way they are handling things. But you know I've never been particularly happy with the administration."

"I remember the rant when we were still in the Academy."

"Honestly, why I couldn't test out of all the Starfleet field med classes is still beyond me. Whatever happens we need to decide together."

"As you say, we'll burn that bridge when we come to it. I'm glad you and Joce got to talk. Evan relieved me. He said he wanted to be there for Jojo and Jim if Jim had a nightmare. He wants to feel useful and I love him for that."

"So do I. Joce has been great. I'm glad our talking doesn't bother you."

"Like I said, perk of being a Betazoid. I know exactly how you two feel about each other. Anyway, we need to get some rest."

"If all goes well, we may be able to leave late tomorrow."

"I'll let the others know. I'll call Tucker in the morning."

"No, I'll call him. I still can't believe he came all the way back to Earth."

"Can't you? Well, we can see what he's been up to when we get back."

"If the farm is still standing." Len laughed on his way to the bathroom. After a long hot shower, they both crawled under the covers and fell asleep in a matter of minutes.

Evan had relieved Seri as Jo was getting ready for bed. Jim watched him as he moved the chair so he could look out of the windows. "I'm glad you're here. Seri's good and all, but I'm glad it's you."

He could hear the running water as Jo lingered in the huge shower. Jo would be at least a half hour playing with the different sprays. He walked over to the bed. "I thought it might be better. Contrary to what he believes, Spock does need a good night's rest and you could use…"

"A touch telepath?"

"I guess, and I thought maybe a friend."

"I could. Jo's sweet."

"I adore that munchkin. You know she wants to take care of you."

"I know. I also know that isn't always possible. Some days I look at her and I see Len." He watched the other man as he sat on the bed. "Sorry."

"Why? I see him too. Other times I see her mother, but more and more I see you."

"God, I hope not. She has your heart you know?"

"She's better than me."

"She's better than me. Evan, in all of these years I've never figured it out." He took a drink of water as he watched chocolate eyes try to stare through him.

"Figured out what?"

"What is playing behind those eyes?" Jim's eyes became intense as he studied the man. "You have that door shut every time you've touched me. Can I tell you something?"

"Sure?" Evan's heart rate had increased. He wasn't sure he wanted Jim to know. Len knew, but Jim was different.

"I never have to know. I know the man I see here and he is pretty damn impressive. I wanted you to know that. I never told you and I want you to know that I am grateful to be able to call a man like you my friend. Dying changes your priorities a little. I need those I love to know how I feel and what I think of them."

Evan took a deep breath. "You're right you know. Len knows, he knows everything. Maybe one day you and I can talk. Jim, I know there's more to your story as well, but Seri has taught you well. Rest assured I haven't inadvertently found out anything. You know I love you, but I respect you as well."

"Mama says you can't love anyone you don't respect."

"She's right. I also see the man in front of me and I think you are amazing. I know some of your story, everyone does, but not all of it and I'm okay with that. I know who you are now and I think that man is extremely… What was the word you used? Impressive."

"I'm glad we talked. I don't want to go to the grave again the way I did this time."

"With regrets?"

"I'll always have some regrets. No, with the regret of not letting those I love know exactly how I feel."

"That little one in there knows exactly how you feel about her. She tells everyone that her Uncle Jim is her best friend. She loves you as much as she loves me."

"I know. I just want to be the kind of man that warrants that love."

"And you think you're not?"

Just then Jo came out of the bathroom, still drying her long black hair but clean and dressed for bed. "Hey munchkin. Uncle Evan is going to get something from the cafeteria, do you want anything?"

Evan realized Jim wanted some alone time with his baby. "I'll get you some chocolate milk if they have any."

"And maybe those little orange slices?"

"Alright baby. I won't be too long. You take care of Uncle Jim while I'm gone." Evan decided to take a little longer to give the two of them time together.

"Okay Uncle Evan. I'll take good care of him." Ev smiled at Jim before closing the door. "Uncle Jim, I brought our Go game. I beat Pavel." She had a huge smile on her face.

"I bet you did. Munchkin, can you come here for a minute?" He patted the bed next to him. Jo climbed up onto the bed. She slipped off her slippers so she could sit cross legged. "I wanted to talk to you about something. Don't worry, it's all good."

"Okay?" When she was confused, she looked like the little girl he had met that first summer. Her blue eyes stood out against her milk white skin and ebony hair. She looked like the antique china dolls that sat on the top shelf of her book case in the old brick farm house.

Jim studied the girl in front of him. He had so much to tell her, almost as much as he had to tell Len and Cal. But how, how could he get her to understand. How do you say these things to a twelve-year-old? How do you explain it all? He wished he had asked Len or Jaz, but there was no time for that now. Now it was up to him. He prayed he didn't fuck it up.