It was nighttime at the Mystery Shack and inside the twin's bedroom, Mabel was having another sleepover with her friends, Grenda, Candy and Pacifica. Mabel and Candy were doing Grenda's makeup while painting her nails. Both finger and toe. But Pacifica was on her phone,
"Girls, am I done?!" Grenda asked loudly.
"Almost." Mabel replied.
"Looking gorgeous." Candy replied.
"When will it be done?!" Grenda yelled. "I want to be beautiful!"
"And you are." Mabel assured her.
While the girls were having their fun, Pacifica was still thinking about what happened at Drape Fear a few days ago. Ever since the Mitchells and her almost got yelled hostage by a water spirit who was the former queen of Mewni. But it wasn't just that which was on her mind, she was thinking of what a dark vision of her was saying in the underworld. She was kind of doubting if her relationship with Dipper will even last after the summer ends.
"Hey girls, Grenda isn't feeling too happy!" Grenda exclaimed.
"But we haven't showed you the mirror yet." Candy said.
"Grenda don't need mirror, Grenda knows she's pretty!" Grenda shouted. But the makeup on Grenda's face was kind of a strong C- attempt. The lipstick on her lips made her lips too big, the eye liner made her look gothy and varnish that was on all her nails made it look like a long line coming from her feet and hands.
"Why aren't you feeling happy, Grenda?" Mabel asked. "I know our attempt at making you look pretty wasn't the best, but we really did try."
"It's not the makeup!" Grenda yelled. "Pacifica is sad."
Mabel and Candy stared at Pacifica realising that she indeed was looking awfully sad about something. She never talked about what happened in the underworld, apart from retrieving the mug that can give you the beverage you most desire. So they thought best that they shouldn't ask her anything about that.
But Mabel, knew she needed some very serious cheering up so she crawled up to Pacifica and said gently, "Hey Pacifica, you look very down. You sure you don't wish to talk about your problem?"
"I'm sure." Pacifica replied.
"Pacifica, my uncle Clyde told me that talking about your problems will help." Candy explained. "Then he pulled a card from thin air."
"Look, I don't need problems to be talked about right now." Pacifica protested. "I just need to try and enjoy myself without thinking of the problem I'm having."
"Well, what do you suggest we do?" Mabel asked.
"Just paint my nails or whatever." Pacifica replied.
"Nah! We need something else." Mabel said. "Girls, what do you suggest we do?"
"Silly string fight!" Grenda screamed.
"Maybe learn some magic." Candy suggested.
"Or maybe we can tell some stories." Mabel suggested. "I mean, that's what we usually do when things need to be a little longer."
"I mean, I doubt any of your stories will help, but go on, try." Pacifica said reluctantly.
"Okay, I'll start, this is a tale of summer, romance, vampires, sparkling abs and most importantly…Abs." Mabel aggressively narrowed her eyes at her friends at the mention of abs. "….I call this story, Mabel Meets A Vampire…Finally."
Mabel Meets A Vampire…..Finally.
"Wait, that doesn't make sense." Candy pointed out. "You've already met a vampire."
"A ton, actually." Pacifica pointed out.
"I mashed one's face in with my fist." Grenda said while pulling a smile.
"Alright fine." Mabel groaned. "I call this one, Mabel Gets Involved In A Romantic Relationship With A Vampire…Finally!"
Mabel Gets Involved In A Romantic Relationship With A Vampire…Finally!
In the Mystery Shack, Dipper and Pacifica were snuggling on the couch while watching some cheesy B-Movie about a monster destroying, what else? Cities.
The monster had a reptilian appearance, similar to the giant lizard monster Goshbilla. And was busy trying to eat the giant cardboard noodles from a noodle factory. But unfortunately, the beast couldn't differentiate the difference between cardboard and pasta. While the beast tried to eat the cardboard, people were screaming and running away from the monster.
Pacifica snuggled up to her boyfriend like a cat and he kissed her on her blonde hair.
While the two were snuggling, Mabel was watching feeling sad and maybe a bit jealous. Sure she supported her brother's relationship, but she also felt like a bit of a third wheel every time they were spending time together doing things. She looked through her album of failed romances. Each containing pictures of people Mabel was obsessed with. These include, iguana guy, the boyfriend who turned out to be a bunch of gnomes, Gideon, some mysterious kid who claimed to be a werewolf, William Zabka in his younger years and the guy on the 10 dollar bill.
Mabel sighed in sadness and it didn't go unnoticed, because Soos soon noticed her.
"Hey little dude, what's up?" Soos asked.
Mabel sighed. "Soos, ever since summer, I tried to not have another summer romance after last year due to them all turning out to be failures. But Dipper….He's on his first and it's going better then all my others. I mean, I'm happy for him, but every time I see him together with her, I just feel maybe a hint of jealousy."
"Oh don't worry little dude." Soos assured her. "That happens. But you can't be desperate for love. There's more to life then love. I mean, even if Melody dumped me, I won't let it bum me down for a while."
"Soos, we need a plan on the entertainment!" Melody yelled.
"Ahhh! The entertainment!" Soos exclaimed. "I forgot the entertainment! She'll never forgive me if I don't get the entertainment!" Soos then ran out to talk about wedding plans with his fiancé.
Later, Mabel is seen out in Gravity Falls looking sad and lonely about being single.
She walked past Robbie and Tambry, who were texting each other by sending one another emoji kisses. Then Mabel walked past Wendy, who was holding hands with another girl with brown hair and brown skin, wearing a yellow tank top and flannel shorts. Mabel then walked past Ghost Eyes, who was making out with a biker lady. Mabel sighed with sadness as she noticed a poster of one of her former failed romances, the crazy puppet man who made out with his puppets. She groaned and tore the poster down to reveal a poster Sev'Ral Timez. Then she tore that one down to reveal an old poster for Lil' Gideon's psychic show. Mabel groaned in annoyance and threw her arms in the air.
"Why?! Why?! Why don't I have anybody?!" Mabel yelled. "And also, good on Ghost Eyes. Usually people who leave prison don't tend to get any ladies." Mabel then slumped to the ground, feeling like she was gonna cry in sadness.
"So, that's how it works when you get dumped?"
Mabel looked up and saw a cute looking pale as white boy with spiky brown hair, a light grey jacket & shirt, dark grey jeans and black shoes.
Mabel, despite being sad, felt attracted to the boy for a brief moment before sighing, realising she'll just go through another heartbreak.
"Do you need help?" The guy asked.
"Oh no way!" Mabel exclaimed while standing up and pointing an accusing finger at him. "I won't fall for your cute pale skin and grey clothing! I am done with boys like you! You look weird! I'm going! And don't interrupt me while I listen to my music!"
Mabel then stood up while the surprised boy stared at her with infatuation. She looked weird and had an addiction to boys, but she didn't seem interested in him. Maybe she was playing hard to get.
Mabel started walking across the street while putting in her ear phones. She swiped through her playlists and chose the one titled 'Music to play when depressed.' And she chose the one titled, Pain by Ten Inch Nails.
While the depressing song played, she continued walking along the street, slowly and carelessly that she was ignoring simple road safety laws. It was so bad that random cars swerved passed her just to avoid her and crashed into random buildings, even Quentin Trembly riding an ostrich for some reason, crashed through a window of a pawn shop.
Mabel then stopped on the road while the pale vampire boy watched her with keen interest. He didn't know why, but he was suddenly attracted to a girl no one would ever be interested in. Some random weird girl who will get herself killed.
Just then, a huge truck being driven by Manly Dan was heading towards Mabel. Manly Dan could've pressed the breaks, but he was unfortunately closing his eyes while lip syncing to Just Friends by Love Sentence.
"Aww yeah! This is better Theban Sev'Ral Timez!" Manly Dan exclaimed happily.
Mabel eventually opened her eyes and saw the truck coming straight towards her and she screamed in fear of what was coming.
But just then, the weird pale boy ran into the middle of the road with his hands out and he caused the truck to be super crushed due to his strength and leading Manly Dan to have a cut on his cheek.
"Ow!" Manly Dan yelled. "That song is very painful!"
Mabel was surprised by her unexpected saviour when she looked up. That weird pail boy saved her life? Oh no, he's just doing this so he could get a kiss.
"Oh no!" Mabel exclaimed. "Oh no! Oh no! No way you ain't getting a kiss!"
"I wasn't trying to kiss you!" The boy protested. "I was saving your life and this is the thanks I get?!"
"Yeah, well you're trying to get a date from me!"
"I just saved your life! And worst of all, you hadn't questioned how I stopped that truck with my bare hands!"
Mabel narrowed her eyes at the young boy and said, "This is Gravity Falls, weird stuff happens all the time."
"Yeah, but are you curious to what I am?" The guy asked.
"Unless you're a vampire, I don't care!"
"Well….You're gonna care now." The boy said before flashing his fangs at Mabel. The sight caused Mabel's eyes to sparkle like glitter and for her to drool like a waterfall.
"Vampire." Mabel said with the drool falling from her mouth. "Hormones going crazy."
"Uh…You okay?" The boy asked.
"Vampire." Mabel repeated.
"Uh…Okay." The vampire said before handing her a piece of paper. "Phone number. Just in case."
The vampire then noticed that the sun was coming out from the clouds and he quickly ran away into shade while Mabel just stood in the middle of the road, drooling.
Later in the Shack, Mabel was sitting on the desk, still drooling her mouth out all over the register. Wendy was trying to open it up, but she didn't wanna risk getting drool all over her hand and moved her hand aside.
Stan walked in, staring at Mabel with appreciation and feeling impressed. "Oh wow, that must be a world record. Non-stop drooling. I can make money off of this."
"Mr Pines, I don't think Mabel is okay." Wendy said with worry. "I think she might have rabies."
"Do you know what's the difference between a rabid Mabel and Mabel?" Stan queried.
Wendy thought about it for a second. "Okay, you make a good point."
Just then, a blushing Dipper walked in with a red lip mark on his cheek. Meaning that he was just with Pacifica. But he froze once he saw Mabel drooling like crazy.
"Yo Dipper, why's your sister drooling?" Wendy asked.
"Oh no." Dipper groaned. "I knew this day would come ever since I discovered the weirdness of Gravity Falls."
"What is it Dipper?" Stan asked.
"Mabel's got a phone number from a vampire." Dipper replied.
"How do you know that?" Wendy asked.
"Because when we were 9, Mabel said to me that if a vampire was real and gave her his phone number, she won't stop drooling for 18 hours." Dipper replied.
"And how long has it been?" Stan asked.
"Eighteen hours!" Mabel exclaimed suddenly, startling everyone around her.
"Never do that again!" Wendy demanded.
"I have been drooling for 18 hours because I just got a vampire's phone number!" Mabel yelled.
"A vampire?!"
Then, Ford popped out from underneath the floor, bursting the floorboards as he did. "What vampire?! Tell me where?!"
"A vampire gave me his phone number." Mabel said.
"A vampire?!" Ford exclaimed. "Didn't the last vampires you met the last time teach ya anything?!"
"Relax, he's nothing like them." Mabel assured him. "He's pale and so strong he can cause damage to a truck."
"Wait, pale?" Ford asked.
"Yeah." Mabel replied. "Is that bad?"
"That's a PWOP." Ford explained.
"PWOP?"
"It's an acronym for Pale Weird Obnoxious Pouty." Ford explained. "Because that's what they are."
"But he was cute!" Mabel argued.
"Mabel, that's what you say about all the boys you've ever met and what happened to them?" Dipper asked while thinking back to his sister's previous lovers.
"Relax, he doesn't make out with puppets." Mabel assured her brother. "And besides, I better call him and see if he wants to go out sometimes."
"Mabel, word of advice about dating a vampire.." Wendy said. "…Make sure he doesn't cur your lip with his fang. That will be disastrous."
"No duh!" Mabel replied before walking out of the gift shop to talk to vampire. "Even so, getting bitten will be worth it."
Dipper, Stan, Ford and Wendy stared at the empty corridor, weirded out by what she said.
"You should see her internet history." Dipper commented.
Stan, Ford and Wendy then narrowed their eyes at Dipper about what he did. Dipper then groaned in annoyance. "Oh, so her looking at mine is not creepy but me looking at her's is?!"
Meanwhile, Mabel was on the phone waiting for the vampire to pick up to speak to her. Just then, the vampire picked up instantly and on the other end, he was sitting on a chair reading a book.
"Hello?"
"Um Hi!" Mabel yelled. "It's me cute vampire guy. I mean, hi Mabel! Ahh! I mean, hi Mabel, it's me cute vampire guy!"
On the other end, the vampire was laughing due to Mabel messing up her lines while talking to him.
"You've never met a vampire before, have ya?" The vampire asked.
"Nah, I haven't." Mabel lied. "Never met one and never killed one."
"Well, unless you've killed the crazy ones that worshipped some evil dark entity, then I won't mind." The vampire assured her.
"Then I did." Mabel said.
"What?!" The vampire yelled. "And you lived?!"
"I've survived an apocalypse." Mabel laughed.
The vampire laughed, not sure if he should believe Mabel. "You're weird, you know that?"
"I know." Mabel replied.
"Hey, do you wanna go out?" The vampire asked. "As in, out to the forest after lunch? It's usually grey and dull around that time."
"Would I?!"
"Great!" The vampire exclaimed. "My names Robert by the way. Robert Sulkingson."
"Such a hot name." Mabel sighed.
"What was that?" The vampire asked.
"Nothing." Mabel replied.
Later, Mabel is walking in the forest to meet her date, Robert Sulkingson in the forest while holding an umbrella over his head due to the fact that the sun was out unexpectedly on this surprisingly cold day.
"This is a dream come true." Mabel said. "Going on a walk with a vampire, not running away from one."
"I know." Robert agreed. "This is the first time I've been on a walk with a human without having to suck one for survival."
"So, what are you sucking the blood out of now?" Mabel asked.
"I just suck the blood out of any rats I can find. Oh, rat!" Robert then picked up a random rat and sucked the blood out of it with his fangs.
"I don't care if you sucked the blood out of it." Mabel said. "They're only rats, they're not like on the verge of extinction."
"Blood may be delicious, but it's a terrible curse." The vampire whined. "I hate having it. All it does is make me insane due to the fact I want to live. But I need to drink the blood of the innocents to live."
"Uh….Okay." Mabel said. "I mean sure, being a vampire may suck for one but living forever while looking hot, how could I not want that?"
"It's a burden watching your best friend die." Robert complained. "But all that pain did help me develop to be a better person."
"Wow." Mabel said. "Do you think you can tell me anything interesting that isn't tragic?"
"But my life is full of tragedy." Robert said. "I mean, it's so tragic that even I can't sleep without thinking of anything tragic."
Mabel felt somewhat weirded out by how Robert just kept going on all about the random tragedies that she was kind of getting uncomfortable by it.
"Well, do you wanna say something positive?" Mabel asked. "I mean, maybe it'd help your mental sanity. Like, let's talk about favourite movie. My favourite movie is Little Unicorn's Adventure."
"I love Schneider's List." The vampire said. "I loved how it tackled the serious topic of the Genocide of the-"
"Yeah, let's not do that." Mabel requested.
"Mabel, I'm glad you've decided to go out with me." Robert said. "Nobody goes out with me since they think I'm too sour and sad."
"Uh….Yeah…"
"Thanks Mabel." Robert said. "We're gonna do it again, right?"
"Uh….Sure." Mabel said reluctantly.
Later, Mabel is in the Shack looking like she was regretting her date with Robert.
"I have to get rid of him." Mabel said eventually.
"What, why?" Pacifica and Dipper asked in unison.
"He's too much of a downer." Mabel replied with a sulk. "I mean, his favourite movie is Schneider's List!"
"That movie's depressing." Pacifica said.
"I know!" Mabel exclaimed. "I didn't know dating a vampire would be this bad."
"Well, then call it off." Dipper suggested.
"Well, we're meeting tomorrow and maybe I should before things get worse." Mabel agreed. "I mean, I don't wish to be depressed."
"Or, maybe you should give it another chance." Pacifica suggested. "I mean, when I started dating Dipper, he talked about geek stuff and I was considering dumping him, but we made it work."
"Yeah." Dipper agreed. "Wait, what?"
"Yeah, I should give it a chance." Mabel said.
The next day.
Mabel and Robert were out strolling in the forest while holding hands with him and holding an umbrella over his head to block him from the sun.
"So, it's a nice day today isn't it?" Mabel asked.
"It's so nice." Robert replied. "Shame that there could be vampires dying."
"Ookay, now it's bleak." Mabel whispered.
"Them burning up like they're in an overloading tanning machine and then disintegrating into nothing." Robert said, very depressed. "With the last words on their mind being 'Ow! It burns!'
Mabel then groaned, feeling depressed about Robert being a downer.
Later, Mabel sat in the kitchen with Dipper and Pacifica once again, to complain about her day. "I have to end it!"
"Too depressing?" Dipper asked.
"Yes!" Mabel exclaimed.
"Then why don't you do it?" Pacifica asked.
"That's what I'm gonna do to Robert, tomorrow." Mabel explained. "And when I do, I'm gonna get back and put him in the scrapbook of Failed Summer Romances."
"Why do you want to keep that memory?" Pacifica asked.
"So I can remind myself when I have Alzheimer's who not to date." Mabel replied.
The next day, Mabel was walking through the forest intended on breaking up with her new vampire boyfriend. She readied the umbrella, just in case he might need it.
She approached her soon-to-be ex boyfriend, whom was resting underneath a random tree. He looked quite depressed, as per usual, and appeared to want to tell Mabel something important.
"Hey Robert!" Mabel exclaimed. "Listen, I need to tell you something!"
"I have something I must inform you." Robert said.
"Is it another sob story?"
"It could be if you wish to know what I'm like when I'm in sun." Robert then walked out from underneath the shade.
Mabel tried to stop him from doing so, since he is a vampire after all. But she stopped once she saw what happened when he steps into the sun.
Instead of burning up and dying as is tradition, he was sparkling like diamond. This made Mabel's eyes sparkle with eyes wide at how beautiful that sight was.
Later at the Shack, Mabel was sitting in the kitchen with Dipper and Pacifica with her phone out.
"I didn't dump him." Mabel informed the couple.
"Why?!" Pacifica asked, annoyed.
"He sparkled." Mabel replied while showing a picture.
"So, you're not gonna dump him?" Dipper queried.
"Sparkle in sunlight or not, that boy is dumped!" Mabel replied loudly with confidence.
But, over the next few days, Mabel still couldn't even dump that vampire due to many, many facts about him. These included, abs, dinner with family, the fact he can fly, double date to make Dipper and Pacifica jealous, marriage, meeting grandparents. Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months and months turned to years.
Mabel stared at herself in the mirror and saw that she had wrinkles and grey hair. Her life with Robert felt like it had been going on for more then 56 years of pretend happiness.
Just then, a young Dipper walked in looking annoyed at his sister. "Mabel, get that ridiculous old person make up off of you."
"Dipper, this is a metaphor for how I feel!" Mabel exclaimed.
"Mabel, it's only been 2 weeks, not 56 years!" Dipper argued.
"I know, but it feels long." Mabel protested.
"Mabel, why can't you break up with him? I mean, how hard is it to break up with him?"
"It just is!" Mabel screamed. "He either does something to make himself look good or make me feel guilty!"
"That's bad." Dipper said. "I think it appears you need help. And I know just the right person who can help. The master dumper."
Later, Mabel and the master dumper, who just so happened to be none other then Wendy, were walking in the forest, ready to see Robert.
"Okay Mabel, I need you to practice breaking up with him." Wendy requested. "So, I'm gonna pretend to be Robert and you have to dump me."
"Alright." Mabel said with confidence. "Easy peezy!"
"Oh drone, drone, drone, drone. Sadness, misery." Wendy moaned, doing her best impression of Robert. "Mabel, I'm gonna tell you sad story of my life." Wendy then removed her flannel shirt to reveal an ab tank top. "Look at my abs, Mabel! Look at them! Look at them while I tell my story!"
"Robert, I want to break up!" Mabel exclaimed before slouching. "Nah, it doesn't feel right."
"Why?" Wendy asked.
"Because his abs aren't tanned and they're pale and sparkly." Mabel replied.
"Oh." Wendy then took off her tanned ab tank top to reveal a more pale and sparkly one. "Close enough?"
"Robert, I'm breaking up with you!" Mabel exclaimed.
"Yes!" Wendy yelled while fist pumping the air. "Now you're getting it! Best thing is, we didn't need to do days off training. Now, dump his vampire butt!"
"I will!" Mabel exclaimed happily.
"And if you're gonna screw up, I'll be behind that bush throwing whatever I can find at you." Wendy explained while putting her flannel shirt back on.
"Okay." Mabel responded.
Wendy performed a few somersaults into a bush to watch Mabel try and break up with Robert.
Just then, a bat landed in front of Mabel and turned into Robert, wearing his sulky clothes and holding a small box.
"Hey Mabel." Tom greeted his girlfriend.
"Hey Tom." Mabel greeted back. "Listen, there's something I need to tell you."
"I have a question." Robert interjected as he got down on one knee. "Mabel, I may be 189 years, but in 189 years of sulking and misery, you have made me very happy and I want this happiness to last a lifetime."
"Uh…." Mabel replied.
"Oh, he is desperate." Wendy commented from the bushes.
"Mabel Pines, will you marry me?" Robert asked.
Mabel continued sweating as she stared at the engagement ring. Which had a red emerald in the centre and a golden colouring.
Mabel soon sighed and responded. "I will marry you." Then, Mabel got hit on the back of her head by an acorn by Wendy and she snapped herself. "I will marry you if the world is crumbling."
"Uh…Is that a yes?" Robert asked.
"It's no, Robert." Mabel replied. "I'm sorry, but I just don't see anything special between us. Y'know. I mean, you're a downer and I feel your attractiveness and events with family are just efforts you're using to make me stay with you. I mean, I hope we can be friends."
Robert stared at Mabel, feeling saddened by her response but his eyes then turned red and he turned into a ginormous vampiric bat beast and growled.
Mabel stared at the beast in fear while Wendy ran out of the bushes, holding her axe, ready to attack the beast.
But before Mabel could run and Wendy could hit the beast, an arrow hit the vampire in the chest, causing him to disintegrate into nothing but a skeleton of a human being. A sight that startled Mabel and Wendy.
They looked behind them and saw a boy wearing a red bandanna around his neck and a hat covering his long blonde hair.
"You alright?" The boy asked.
"I am now." Mabel replied while drooling.
"Thanks for saving us." Wendy said.
"My pleasure." The boy replied. "Perhaps I can tell you who I am while explaining my tragic backstory."
"You can tell me anything!" Mabel exclaimed while Wendy groaned and facepalmed herself.
"Here we go again." Wendy groaned.
"The end." Mabel announced. "What do you think?"
Her friends stared at her with wide eyes open, unsure of how to feel about her story.
"Well, that was a Mabel story." Candy commented.
"I feel there were plot holes and the relationship between Mabel and Robert wasn't developed strong enough." Grenda replied. "And the final scene just felt like a punchline."
"Yeah." Pacifica agreed. "And Robert did mention he had a family. That's gotta have consequences."
"Well, it doesn't." Mabel replied. "So, is there anyone who wishes to go next?"
"Candy will go." Candy replied. "I call this one. Fortune What You Were Told."
Fortune What You Were Told
Dipper, Stan, Ford and Mabel were walking along a marketplace where Stan was admiring a watch he just brought.
"Ah, won't you look at that Ford." Stan said. "Isn't it a thing of beauty?"
"It would be if this wasn't the twentieth watch your brought." Ford replied.
Stan then rolled up his sleeve to reveal a pair of watches around his arm. "Actually Ford it's 19. But you just gave me the idea of buying a twentieth."
"Grunkle Stan, why do you need this many watches?" Dipper asked.
"So if he's rolling up his sleeves while washing his hands and wants to know what time it is, then that's the best way." Mabel replied.
"Just in case I get robbed of my watch, I can just replace it." Stan replied.
"Oh you poor man." Said a random voice.
The Pines family turned around and saw a woman wearing a green dress and looked like she was somewhere between her mid to late 60's, giving them a blank stare.
"You don't know what those watches will cost you." The woman said.
"I just did like 45 seconds ago." Stan argued. "They costed me 200 dollars each and it was worth it."
"Uh….How much do you have in your bank deposit?" Dipper asked, somewhat curious about his Grunkle's bank account.
"So, what's the matter with these watches, lady?" Stan asked.
The woman then started rubbing a crystal ball in front of her something that made the twins uncomfortable.
"Wait, what's she doing?" Stan asked.
"Stanley, I think she's a fortune teller." Ford said.
"Of course she is." Stan said, not convinced.
"Didn't the sign not give it away?" Dipper asked while pointing that literally said 'Fortune teller.'
"It would've." Stan replied. "But she seems a little out of sorts."
"And what do you exactly know about fortune telling?" Ford asked with his arms folded.
"All fortune tellers are frauds Ford." Stan said. "Trust me, I tried my hand at it in New Orleans and I got banned for life when someone's fortune didn't come true."
"That's the breaking point?" Mabel asked.
"New Orleans is a country that loves voodoo." Stan said. "But she is no true fortune teller."
"Stanley Pines." The fortune teller's response made the Pines family stare at Stan in worry while Stan just blew a raspberry.
"I'm well known around these parts." Stan protested.
"Stanley Pines, former owner of the Mystery Shack and genius master criminal." The fortune teller then responded. "Committed the majority of crimes in the book, not the ones that are too inappropriate or intense for children's incomprehensible minds."
"Oh yeah?" Stan laughed. "Those are well known facts, why don't you tell me my future?"
"I will." The fortune teller replied. "Stanley Pines, you will get into a fight that will break time."
The sentence made the Pines stare at the fortune teller with worry, all except for Stan who just laughed.
"Ha!" Stan laughed. "I've been in many fights and not once I've broken any laws of physics. Nice try lady, but you're definitely scamming and I like what you're doing. But make the fortunes believable. Family! Let us go elsewhere!"
The family soon started to walk away from the fortune teller who was narrowing her eyes at the crooked old man. The Hand Witch, who was sitting next to her, turned her head, smiled and asked, "First time?"
Meanwhile, the Pines family were walking across the market while eating some cotton candy they got from a cotton candy stand.
"Cotton candy." Mabel commented while munching on her's. "The only cotton besides regular cotton I'll ever eat."
"Can't you believe that woman?" Stan asked. "Who does she think she is, saying I'm gonna break time?"
Dipper stared at his Grunkle unimpressed and sighed. "Grunkle Stan, this is a cliche that happens in a lot of horror movies and judging by the stuff that has happened before with us. It's very likely that you will break time."
"Dipper, while I do find it far fetched to use horror movies as a source of evidence, I do admit that judging by Gravity Falls that it will likely happen." Ford said.
"Dipper, that won't happen." Stan argued. "Besides, who would want to fight with me?" Just then, Stan's question was answered when he randomly bumped into someone holding a soda.
And that person turned out to be the famous lead of the Kung-Fu Kid, William Zabka, dressed in a black dojo suit with a turquoise belt.
"You made me spill my drink." William said. "I don't like when people do that."
"Oh, sorry." Stan said.
"Oh don't worry, it's not mine." William assured him.
"Oh good." Stan said.
"It's Michael C Hall's and he's a bit deranged." William informed him.
Stan turned around and saw the television actor was glaring at him with a face that looked like the kind of face that had murderous intent.
"Uh….Hi Michael." Stan said awkwardly.
"That was my drink." Michael said. "You don't spill someone's drink."
Just then, Michael punched Stan in the face, causing him to fall down a flight of stairs and for him to make noises.
"Stanley!" Ford shouted as he, Dipper and Mabel followed their Grunkle down the very long flight of stone stairs.
Once the crooked Pines twin got to the bottom, the lenses in his glasses had slightly cracked due to the impact.
"You call that a fight fortune teller?!" Stan exclaimed. "That was more of a punch."
His family soon made it down the stone stairs looking worried and exhausted due to the stairs being so long.
"Aww man, why did the stairs have to be that long?" Mabel asked. "It's gonna be worst coming up."
"Stanley, are you okay?" Ford asked as he lifted his brother up off the ground.
"Fine." Stan replied. "I'm just disappointed that I wasn't even in a fight and haven't broken time."
"Did the punch hurt?" Dipper asked.
"No, but my arms feel like glass is piercing in my skin." Stan replied while his eyes squinted in pain.
This made Stan realise that his pain could be coming from his arms which weren't broken, it was something worse.
Stan took off his jacket to reveal that all the watches he had all up his arms, were broken and glass fell off.
"Aww, she said I'd break time, not my watches." Stan groaned.
The last part about the watches breaking and time made Dipper, being a smart member of the family, think about the two. Which eventually made him put all the pieces of this short puzzle together.
"Grunkle Stan, I think you already broke time." Dipper said.
They all froze in shock, before a random fly flew past them, proving that it wasn't frozen.
"Dipper, I think you were staring at the ground again." Mabel said.
"No. No. No." Dipper coughed. "I think Grunkle Stan breaking time was a metaphor for him breaking all his watches."
"You know what Dipper, you could be right." Ford said.
"So, that crazy old lady was right?" Stan asked.
"I think so." Ford replied.
"Wait, if that fortune teller is real, then that means….." It was at that moment a dinging went off in Stan's head.
"Anyone want bells?" Toby Determined asked from his stand nearby.
"Nobody wants bells Toby!" Stan exclaimed. "I want fortunes!" Stan then ran past his family like a whirlwind and up the stairs like a character in a sports movie about not giving up.
His family were so amazed by his speed that they were silent and not sure how to take it in.
"Uh….What just happened?" Mabel asked.
"He didn't want my bells." Toby groaned in sadness.
Up the stairs, Michael C Hall was getting his fortune told from the fortune teller.
"In 8 years time you will do a revival of Baxter that is merely an apology for season 8." The fortune teller said.
"Why can't I do it now?" Michael asked.
"Eight years."
"Huh?"
"Eight years!" The woman screamed in the actor's face before he ran away from her in shock and fear.
Stan soon returned, panting and sat in front of her.
"Let me guess, you broke time?" The woman asked.
"Metaphorically." Stan replied before showing his broken watches to the woman.
The woman narrowed her eyes at the watches and smirked. "Hmm, so you believe me?"
"Yes I do!" Stan exclaimed. "Please tell me more! I'll give you all the money I have on my wallet!" Stan pulled his wallet out to reveal he only had a one dollar bill.
"Is that all?" The fortune teller asked the man.
"Well, how do you think I got all those watches?" Stan asked.
"Good point." The fortune teller said as she took the dollar bill. "This will have to suffice."
"Okay lady, is there anything that will put a positive input on my life?" Stan asked.
"By not bathing, you shall be gifted with rains of green." The fortune teller said.
"Not bathing?" Stan queried. "Rains of green…..I'll figure it out. Anyway, speaking of bathing, could you give my nephew a fortune about rinsing his hair off the soap bars? Because I keep getting them when I shower and I know he's the only one who uses soap and I don't care where that hair comes from, up or down just flush it down."
Three days later after the fortune, Dipper, Mabel, Ford and Pacifica were eating some of Dipper's pancakes that he actually made. Just then, Stan walked in, smiling.
"Morning family." Stan said.
"Morning." Everyone, including Pacifica greeted back.
"Oh cool, pancakes." Stan said while licking his lips and rubbing his hands. "Who made them?"
"Dipper!" Pacifica exclaimed while glaring at her boyfriend.
"Dipper, you sure you have the right twin?" Stan asked.
"No, Dipper hasn't showered again!"
"What?" Dipper froze in confusion. "I showered this morning and got the hair off just like that fortune teller told me to."
"No Pacifica, that smell isn't coming from Dipper." Mabel said in disgust. "It's coming from a smellier beast."
The family managed to trace the smell to Stan, who had flies flying over him and dying because of the stench.
"Stanley, why do you smell so bad?" Ford asked.
"Oh that fortune teller told me if I don't bathe, it will rain green." Stan replied. "And raining green means, money."
"So, you're never going to bathe again?" Dipper asked his Grunkle.
"Exactly." Stan replied. "But I will keep brushing my teeth. I still want to eat pancakes."
"Stanley, could you at least consider washing your hands?" Ford asked.
"Nope." Stan replied. "I'm not even gonna wash them, not even to be hygienic. Or even after Stan time which is a time where you shouldn't be in my bedroom between the times of 13:00 and 14:00 PM. Now, I'm gonna find out if the green money theory is true!"
Stan got off his seat and walked out of the kitchen to go out in Gravity Falls. While Stan went out, his family were all disgusted.
"I hope he's not gonna rely too much on that fortune teller." Dipper said.
"I mean, it's not like he will get money just for stinking." Mabel said.
Later, Stan burst through the gift shop door with a big ole' sack of cash. "Hey family!" Stan exclaimed as he walked in. "Guess who made 5000 dollars in one day?"
As soon as Stan walked in, his scent wasn't all welcoming to the customers and staff. Wendy, who was sitting on her chair and reading a magazine, started choking and she fell off her chair due to the horrendous smell.
The customers all ran out of the Shack to the get some fresh air while Melody jumped out of the window to get away from the stench. But Soos on the other hand, wasn't bothered at all by the former Mr Mystery's smelly odour.
"Nice new cologne Mr Pines." Soos said.
"Thanks Soos."
Once Stan got into the living room, he saw that his family had pegs on their noses to make sure the stench of Stan didn't enter their nostrils.
"Guess who made 5000 dollars just for smelling bad?" Stan asked.
"I don't know." Dipper replied sarcastically.
"This guy!" Stan replied while the stench still continued, causing the lights to shatter and the wallpaper to shrivel up. "Well, I'm gonna have a shower now! Then tomorrow, I'm gonna go back to that fortune teller!"
The family groaned in annoyance. "This is never gonna end well."
Over the next few days, Stan continued to rely on fortunes to help better his life. One of them had Stan repeatedly jumping on a pogo stick and that caused him to be in the Linnis Book of World Records for the oldest man in America to do the most bounces on a pogo stick in one day.
Then, Stan started running up a hill while wearing trash can lids on his feet. But once he got to the top, a chest of gold fell out of the sky.
And another, had Stan wearing makeup and that caused him to win a trophy titled 'World's Prettiest Old Man.'
When Stan got home, he saw something that surprised him. Dipper, Mabel, Ford, Wendy, Soos and Pacifica were standing in front of him each holding a piece of paper in their hands.
"What is this?" Stan asked.
"Stanley, it's an intervention." Ford replied.
"Dude, you need to stop relying too much on those fortunes." Wendy said.
"Why?!" Stan asked. "Because without them, my life wouldn't be any better!"
"Grunkle Stan, can't you see that fortune teller is trying to humiliate you?" Dipper asked.
"Nah, I've been through way more humiliating stuff in prison." Stan protested. "I was even made the prison b-"
"Thank you." Ford interjected. "Stanley, we've each written something that might help you snap out of your crazy phase. I'll let Soos start."
"Mr Pines, ever since you've taken me in as your own kind of adopted son, I promised myself not only will I listen to you, but I shall protect you as well." Soos began. "Well Mr Pines, this is the day. So I say-"
"Well, good intervention." Stan interjected. "Now if you excuse me, I am gonna be happy with my achievements." Stan then pushed his way out of his family to be happy with his achievements. "And if there's one more intervention, I will ask the fortune teller what will happen!"
The family as well as Soos, Wendy and Pacifica stared at Stan worryingly. Has he finally gone off of the deep end? Has he really started to rely too much on fortunes?
"It's worse then I thought." Mabel said. "He has become an addict."
"We should put him on that documentary where they exploit people with weird addictions." Wendy suggested.
"No one is gonna put anybody on a documentary that exploits addictions!" Ford exclaimed.
"Well, we have to do something." Pacifica said.
"Like what?" Dipper asked. "He's just gonna keep going there."
"Hmm, then there's one thing we should've done from the very beginning." Pacifica said.
"What?" Ford asked.
"Well, you might not like it." Pacifica said while tapping her fingers nervously. "It's a Northwest thing."
"I don't like the sound of that." Ford said.
"What should we do?" Dipper asked.
"This isn't the first time Northwests had to deal with fortune tellers so we might have to do something humiliating." Pacifica explained.
The next day, Stan arrived at the fortune teller, whom was reading a book titled 'A strange book on frog people.'
"Hey, what should I be doing today?" Stan asked.
"You shouldn't pay me." The fortune teller replied. "Never again."
"Oh, we're doing this for free now?" Stan asked.
"No." The fortune teller replied. "I need you to stop coming here."
"Why?" Stan asked.
"Bad things will happen if you ask another fortune." The fortune teller replied. "And I'm not saying that because I was bribed."
"Well, you don't look like you were bribed." Stan said. "Because, you don't look like one to be bribed."
"No, I just don't want you coming anymore." The fortune teller explained. "Because you you're blowing your life away by listening to fortunes. I hate that you're very reliant on me to tell you how to live your life when you could've just been living your life the way you wanted to."
"Well, okay." Stan said. "Good thing I dedicated the whole week just to listen to you. I'm gonna go home and do the one thing I'm good at, watch TV while thinking of ways to scam people."
Later, Stan returned to the shack with a smile on his face. "Hey family, I have great-" He froze when he saw what he was seeing. He saw Dipper dressed in punk goth clothing, Mabel reading comics instead of magazines about boy bands, Wendy wearing oven mittens, Pacifica wearing a sack instead of her regular clothing, Soos eating a banana and trying to not throw up & his twin brother, walking backwards.
"Oh hi Stanley, what did your fortune say?" Ford asked.
"Uh….Definitely nothing about this." Stan replied.
"The end." Candy said.
"Not really any conflict in that story." Pacifica said.
"You want conflict?!" Grenda asked. "Grenda's got conflict! It's called, Grenda's Got Conflict!"
Grenda's Got Conflict
Grenda is walking in a dark ally when all of a sudden, she got jumped by a vampire, a cat person, Chip Brille and a dinosaur.
"Grenda, we are evil people who don't think you're awesome." Chip said.
"And we wish to destroy you because of it." The vampire explained.
"I can confirm." The cat person said.
"I'm a dinosaur." The dinosaur said. "Grrrrrr."
"You want me, come get me!" Grenda exclaimed.
But before Grenda could attack them, a bolt of lightning struck all of the opponents Grenda would've faced and they turned to dust.
Grenda looked up and saw a man with a hammer in his hand, bronze armour and a winged helmet.
"Holy moly, it's Thor!" Grenda yelled.
"Grenda, I have saved you from the evil forces that wish to kill you because you are my daughter!" Thor explained boldly.
"Woah! I knew I was born out of Norse mythology!" Grenda exclaimed.
"Come Grenda, we shall fly to Valhalla." Thor announced before picking Grenda up and flying up to the sky.
"Boooo!" The girls exclaimed.
"That story sucked." Candy said.
"I hate stories that make the main characters egotistic." Mabel said.
"What?!" Grenda exclaimed. "I included some action, gods, me and Chip Brille being struck by lightning! Why? Isn't that what you want?!"
"Who even wants to see Chip Brille be struck by lightning?" Mabel asked.
"I do." Candy replied.
"What?!" Grenda asked. "You think you can tell a better story then Grenda?!"
"Yes." Pacifica replied. "Me for example. I call this Friday The PG13th."
Friday The PG13th
At the Corduroy residence, Dipper and Pacifica were hanging out with Wendy by watching a scary movie. The scary movie was nothing more then a 1950's B-Movie, had a guy dressed in a bad swamp monster costume chasing off campers.
The woman that the monster was currently chasing, ran to the nearest lake where the monster tackled her like an American football player and started to eat her hair. She screamed while the monster continued to feast on her hair.
"Ha." Dipper laughed. "This is so stupid."
"He's a guy in a costume, just tear it off!" Wendy exclaimed.
"How did they think that costume was convincing?!" Pacifica asked while trying to hold a laugh. "You can do stop motion with toy based on that design and it'd look convincing!"
Wendy and Dipper laughed at Pacifica's criticism of the movie. Pacifica had only been doing this for a while and due to her experiences with throwing out mean criticisms, she was surprisingly good at it and roasted the film reel out of them!
They then realised that the movie had finished, leading the three to be disappointed. "Aww what?!" Pacifica groaned.
"That's it?" Dipper asked.
"You two did check the runtime, right?" Wendy asked. "It did say it lasted for 68 minutes."
"I know, but there's like 5 minutes of runtime left." Dipper pointed out.
"Hmm, that is very disappointing that it ended quickly." Wendy said. "But hey, I know a great movie we can watch." Wendy then jumped off her bed to get another DVD.
"What is it?" Pacifica asked while Wendy pulled a DVD from her drawer.
"A great one." Wendy replied before pointing to Pacifica. "Pacifica: What's a Slasher? Go!"
"A slasher is a dumb, cheesy horror movie all about a mysterious killer killing people in gruesome ways." Pacifica replied.
"And who are the victims?"
"The victims tend to consist of bratty blondes, geeks, people from Africa, the jock, the jerk, the redneck, the authority figure, the non-believer, the fat one, the idiot, the love interest and in sequels, the final girl."
"And who do they sometimes spare?"
"The teens who haven't made out."
"Pacifica, well done."
Wendy offered Pacifica a fist bump which she accepted.
"Well, that's what happens when you have a smart amazing boyfriend like Dipper." Pacifica said while staring at Dipper.
"Aww, Paz." Dipper and Pacifica then gave each other a quick kiss.
"Okay you two, I didn't need to see that." Wendy commented as she tried to put the DVD in her DVD player. "Prepare to be amazed by the greatest slasher movie of all time: Sunday The 15th." Wendy then showed the teens a DVD cover featuring a killer wearing the mask of an American football player and wielding a meat cleaver. "Let's insert this sucker!"
As soon as she inserted the disc, the TV then suddenly exploded, causing the teens to flinch in shock.
"Nooooo!" Wendy screamed. "Come on!"
"Not the TV!" Dipper screamed.
"Put it out you two!" Pacifica screamed.
"I don't have a fire extinguisher and the plumbing's out!" Wendy yelled. "Guess we have to do one thing!" Wendy quickly picked up the TV and then threw it out of the window.
Later, Dipper, Pacifica and Wendy stood by the burnt up TV like it was the body of a friend or family member knew for a long time.
"Not the TV." Wendy said with sadness.
"A moment of silence for a dear friend." Dipper and Wendy took off their respective hats to pay their respects.
"How is that even possible?" Pacifica asked.
"Dad said he did get this from a smelting shop so…." Wendy replied.
"Where are we gonna find a TV to watch this movie?" Dipper asked.
"Hold on, there's a scrapyard." Wendy said.
"And?" Pacifica asked.
"McGucket always had a TV that worked for whatever reason." Wendy replied. "I mean, sure it was just live television shows but, hopefully a DVD player will work."
"Well, let's go." Dipper requested before starting to run.
Wendy soon followed while Pacifica was reluctant to due to it being a scrapyard.
"If I have an opossum in my hair then one of you will have to clean the toilets for a week!" Pacifica exclaimed.
Once the three got to the scrapyard, they managed to find a perfectly good TV somehow in great condition instantly.
"Well, that was easy." Wendy said. "It's right in front of us."
"Convenient." Pacifica commented.
"Too convenient." Dipper commented while narrowing his eyes at the TV.
"Dipper…." Pacifica chided at her boyfriend.
"Sorry, sometimes things are easily suspicious." Dipper apologised.
Wendy approached the TV without any caution and picked it up, ready to take home for the movie of a lifetime.
"Ookay, time to take the TV." Wendy announced.
"Oh I'd be careful if I was you when walking out." Said a voice with a Southern accent.
The three teens turned around and saw an old man, late 50's cleaning a mug with what appeared to be a dirty rag. The man appeared to be dressed like a farmer, with purple suspenders and a purple cap.
"I wouldn't go out there with that TV if I was ya'll." The man advised them. "Last people that did that, it didn't end well for them. Released something vicious I tells ya."
"Is the TV cursed?" Dipper asked.
"Nah up." The man replied. "Not sure about the TV. But I'm sure about the racoon."
Before Dipper could react, a racoon leapt on Dipper and started attacking him. Dipper struggled as the racoon scratched and bit his face while Pacifica and Wendy struggled as well to get the rodent off.
Later at the Corduroy shack, Pacifica was dabbing a cotton ball with a bottle of liquid that is used to deal with cuts.
"Okay Dipper, this will hurt." Pacifica said before pouring a tiny bit of the liquid on the cotton ball.
"How bad can it be?" Dipper asked. "I mean, it can't be as bad as-"
Just then, Pacifica dabbed the cotton ball on Dipper's cheek and that caused him to not scream for some reason.
"Huh." Dipper reacted. "It doesn't hurt."
"Oh wait, this is the water." Pacifica placed the water on the floor and grabbed a bottle of 'It Stings' and poured a tiny bit on the cotton ball and dabbed it on Dipper's cheek.
"Ow!" Dipper screamed.
"Okay Dipper, save your screams until we get to an unnecessary jump scare." Wendy requested while successfully plugging the TV in. "And bingo!"
"Is it set?" Pacifica asked.
"Yup." Wendy confirmed. "Now let's play this sucker." Wendy placed the disc in the DVD player and pressed play.
Wendy then sat down on her bed and then went wide eyed after a few seconds like she forgot something. "Wait a sec." Wendy said. "A good slasher like this calls for popcorn." Wendy then jumped off of the bed and ran out of her room.
"Hey, don't put butter on mine." Dipper requested as he jumped off the bed.
"Dipper, I'm not done!" Pacifica exclaimed as she followed her boyfriend.
Once the three teens left the room, something strange started to happen. The TV started to spark a bit and shake like it was moving and struggling.
Just then, a black gloved hand popped out of the TV and placed its hand on the wooden floor. And then, another black gloved hand popped out of the TV.
But it wasn't a random person that was crawling out of the TV, water also shot out of the TV.
In the kitchen, Wendy had just finished filling up the bowl of popcorn with Pacifica busy trying to fix up Dipper's wounds when they suddenly heard the water.
"Was that a tsunami?" Dipper asked.
"In my bedroom?" Wendy asked worryingly.
The teens looked at each other before agreeing to run into Wendy's bedroom to check the commotion.
When they entered the teen's bedroom, they noticed water footprints on the floor leading to a broken window. The teens then investigated the TV which was shattered and filled with some weeds sticking out.
"Oh no." Dipper commented. "That looks bad."
"Uh, can't anything in Gravity Falls be normal?" Pacifica complained.
Wendy sighed and pinched her nose. "Note to self: Don't buy TV from junkyard."
"Wendy, do you know what those footprints belong to?" Dipper asked.
"Dude, judging by the footprints and water, I think the killer's escaped the TV." Wendy replied.
"How do we know it's the killer?" Pacifica asked. "Could it be a deep sea diver?"
"Pacifica, there was no deep sea diver in the movie." Wendy informed the Northwest.
"So, where could the killer be?" Dipper asked.
"Well, knowing slasher killers they're looking for idiot teens." Wendy said.
"And who are the idiot teens?" Pacifica asked.
"Okay, I think I can fit the role of the final girl since I have a lot of fighting experience." Wendy replied. "You two…Oh boy, you two are dead meat."
"What?!" Dipper and Pacifica exclaimed in unison.
"I mean, you two fit the slasher buffet." Wendy said. "Dipper, you're a geek and Pacifica, you're the bratty blonde."
"Hey!" Pacifica protested. "I may be blonde, but I'm not….." Pacifica then realised she was being a bit bratty. "…..touché."
"But, come to think of it, you two are a couple so you might be safe if you haven't made out." Wendy said.
"Yeah, we didn't make out." Dipper said while blushing and rubbing his shoulder awkwardly.
"Yeah, totally…Not." Pacifica awkwardly confirmed while blushing and rubbing her arm in an awkward motion.
Wendy gave the two a disappointed look and pinched her nose. "You two have got to be kidding me."
"Well, how were we supposed to know our lives were gonna be on the line if we didn't make out?!" Pacifica exclaimed.
"But, how do we know they're after us?" Dipper asked. "Could they be after other teenagers? I mean, there are more than one teenage kids in Gravity Falls."
Wendy then froze in realisation and realised, there were teens that fit the majority of the traits.
"Uh oh." Wendy said.
Meanwhile, Robbie was getting hit in the head by his guitar by a mysterious figure. While his friends were running away. Then the killer grabbed Nate and started to hit him in the head repeatedly with a maths book. Lee then got hit in the head by an American football. Then, Tambry got a 'I want to believe' poster stuffed in her mouth.
"Don't kill me!" Thompson screamed as he tried to run away.
The killer just stood in front of the bodies of his friends, instead of trying to stop Thompson from running away from him.
Thompson sighed with relief. "Oh phew, he's stupid and can't even chase someone like me!"
But Thompson would have to eat those words because the killer was now in front of him. Thompson screamed as the killer grabbed his head and smashed his head through a wall with a poster stuck on it saying 'I love Africa.'
Later, Wendy, Pacifica and Dipper ran to where the five teens were and what they saw was mortifying that it was never gonna be described.
Wendy had tears falling from her face, Dipper had surprise on his face while Pacifica ran to the nearest bucket to throw up in.
"Oh no." Wendy reacted with tears continuing to fall from her face. "I knew this was gonna happen. Robbie was a jerk, Nate was an idiot, Lee was a jock, Tambry was a non-believer and Thompson was-"
"Fat." Pacifica interjected before continuing to vomit.
Wendy narrowed her eyes at the Northwest aggressively like she was insulted. "Aww come on Pacifica! Thompson was born in Africa!"
"You know that always bothered me." Dipper commented. "What do slasher villains have against Africa?"
"Actually, the creator of the slasher genre got lost in Africa when he was 12 years old and because of that experience, has hated Africa ever since." Pacifica explained like a know-it-all geek.
Wendy briefly smiled at Dipper and said, "Dude, I knew I wasn't right for you."
"That's not important right now." Dipper said. "We have to contact the authorities."
"Hey guys, was that killer in front of us before?" Pacifica asked the two while wiping away the vomit from her lips.
The teens noticed a familiar American football player wearing his signature mask, black gloves, brown muddy boots, a dark green shirt and a light green jacket staring at them while wielding his meat cleaver.
It was at this instant, the teens knew that this was slasher villain they had been after.
The teens screamed and started running from their lives to try and avoid the psychotic killer from trying to kill them.
They ran to a nearby empty cafe, but they soon had to leave because the killer was behind the counter wielding a rolling pin.
The teens screamed and ran out of the cafe and tried to hide in a random trash can, but the killer turned out to be inside, wielding his signature meat cleaver. The three teens once again, screamed and ran off again.
"Oh, where are the cops when you need them?!" Pacifica exclaimed.
Just then, a cop car pulled in front of them causing the teens to run towards them. Once they got to the car, they saw that the only cops in Gravity Falls, Blubs and Durland had probably been killed. Evident from the red substance coming out of their mouths.
The teens screamed at the ghastly sight before screaming once again when they saw the killer was in the backseat of the car.
Yet again, the teens started to run away from the killer, who kicked the car door off and continued to chase the teens.
Once the killer jumped out of the car, the two authority figures then woke up.
"Oh man, what a beautiful nap." Durland said.
"Not as beautiful as the beautiful dream I had about a certain someone with jelly coming out of his mouth." Blubs' words made his dear deputy blush red like a cherry.
Meanwhile, Dipper, Wendy and Pacifica eventually made it to the Corduroy Shack where Manly Dan was standing motionless.
"Dad, you have to help us!" Wendy exclaimed.
"Yeah! There's a crazy slasher villain after us and we don't know what to do!" Dipper exclaimed.
"Just give us an axe or something!" Pacifica exclaimed.
"You want an axe?!" Manly Dan asked. "Well, it's on my back!" Wendy's dad then collapsed to reveal a massive axe on his back.
And standing where Dan was previously standing was the psycho killer who has been chasing them.
The teens screamed as the killer started to slowly approach them. They realised that they couldn't do anything so they decided to accept their fates.
"Anyone have any regrets they'd like to share?" Wendy asked the two. Dipper and Pacifica replied by nodding their heads at the flannel shirted teen. "I'll start. My only regret is telling my therapist a lot of things. I think she's a little suspicious."
"My only regret is not controlling my creepy internet history!" Dipper exclaimed.
"My regret is not telling Dipper how I feel about my worries of us not lasting after summer!" Pacifica exclaimed.
The killer then froze and looked at Pacifica in confusion and then asked, "Huh?"
"Wait, what was her regret?" Candy asked.
"She said something about worrying about her's and Dipper's relationship." Grenda replied.
Pacifica then froze and realised what had been said. "It's nothing." Pacifica lied.
Mabel smiled and said, "Oh, if that's the case then continue. How does it end?"
Pacifica, knowing she accidentally said what was said, knew she had to think of an ending and fast. "Uh…And then, the killer gets his head crushed by an anvil! The end!"
Pacifica's friends then stared at the Northwest with a hint of disappointment on their faces. "Well, that was anticlimactic." Candy commented.
"Mine was better!" Grenda exclaimed while folding her arms like a pouty child.
"I hope that doesn't mean anything." Mabel said.
"Well, I'm going to hit the hay." Pacifica announced. "Goodnight girls."
"Yeah, I suppose it is time." Mabel agreed.
"Goodnight girls!" Grenda yelled. "Sorry if I snore loud!"
"It's okay." Candy assured her friend. "I don't mind. I should apologise if I accidentally fart."
Later that night, the girls were laying in their respective sleeping bags with Grenda snoring loudly while Candy was whiffing her hand in front of her butt due to passing gas.
But Pacifica wasn't sleeping due to the fact she was busy thinking about what's going to happen between her and Dipper after summer. Will they stay together? Or was Michael C Hall right about summer romances? They don't last forever.
Mabel couldn't sleep either since she had a bad feeling that Pacifica's section of her story, especially the ending, was her trying to tell them that she's terrified of what might happen to her and Dipper after summer.
"Oh Pacifica." Mabel whispered sadly. "I'm sorry that these thoughts are going through your head." Mabel then rolled over and went to sleep.
Epilogue
Pacifica had walked downstairs into the living room where she saw her dear boyfriend, Dipper, sleeping on the couch with a blanket over him.
She stared at her boyfriend with worried eyes as she thought what is to become of them after the summer.
The Northwest then walked over to the sleeping Dipper and carefully snuggled herself into the blanket with Dipper.
She wrapped her arms around Dipper and kissed his cheek and whispered, "Goodnight Dipper."
Despite sleeping and not knowing about Pacifica being next to him, a small smile crept on his face like he somehow knew that the girl he has loved since they got together, was next to him.