In another universe where Dipper, Amity, Tom and Polly were in a time consuming matter to get back to Gravity Falls, Doofenshmritz thought it would be a good idea to show them all the inators he made over the summer to see their reactions.
"Behold Magnetism Magnifier!" Doofenshmritz exclaimed.
"How does covering one city in tin foil reverse the Earth's rotation?" Dipper asked. "It's gonna take more than that."
"The Destruct-inator!"
"You built that for lawn gnomes?!" Polly exclaimed. "That is a dumb plan!"
"Giant Robot!"
"Boring." Tom yawned.
"Deflate-inator Ray!"
"And how does deflating every race car make you leader?" Amity asked. "And what is a race car?"
"Age Accelerator-inator!"
"Well, seems useful for the perfect slow cooking pork." Dipper responded.
"Slave-inator!"
"You could've used that to take over the office instead of controlling people to do your bidding on your birthday." Polly said.
"Drill-inator!"
"Actually, China has an extensive tollway system." Tom pointed out. "So, your plan is just doing something that some other evil doer already did."
"Giant Magnet!"
"I don't know what a phone is, but that sounds absolutely petty to erase your girlfriend's messages." Amity commented.
"Copy and Paste-Inator!"
"Dude, that machine is useful." Dipper said. "I hate waiting in lines as much as the next guy!"
"Termite Controlling Helmet!"
"You could've used that to make your brother bow to you!" Polly exclaimed. "I wanna use termites so I can make my enemies do my bidding!"
"Melt-inator 6-5000!"
"You built that for chocolate?" Tom asked.
"Wood-inator!"
"That sounds like that one movie Luz told me about that she watched when she was younger." Amity commented. "Superdude. Where some rich loser wanted to make beachfront property."
"Coition-inator!"
"How can pure evil be liquified?" Dipper asked.
"Space Laser-inator!"
"And you did nothing with it because of a mix up?" Polly asked.
"Yeah, I ended up making an Ice Cream Sundae Maker." Doofenshmritz commented.
"Dude, you should invest in this." Tom commented while eating a sundae that was formed from the machine. "This tastes amazing."
"Voice-Inator!"
"That sounds super petty." Amity said. "Why don't you use your voice to annoy people?"
"Brick Wall Around the Tri-State Area!"
"There's a joke I'm sure is no longer relevant to make." Dipper said.
"Monster Truck Away-inator!"
"From what I heard from Anne, monster trucks sound rad." Polly said. "But, can it get rid of anything else beside monster trucks?"
"Moving on!" Doofenshmritz exclaimed. "Chinese Platypus Trap Disguised as a Monster Truck Locate-inator!"
"I don't know why you made that." Tom said. "Because platypuses are native to Australia. Should it be the Australian Platypus Trap Disguised as a Monster Truck Locate-inator?"
"Real Monster Truck Locate-inator!"
"I don't know what a monster truck is, but that could be useful." Amity said.
"Line of Monster Trucks!"
"Dude, the one that looks like you is terrifying." Dipper commented.
"Shrinkspheria!"
"Shrinking anything you hate?" Polly asked. "Do you have any idea how petty that is?!"
"Make-Up-Your-Mind-inator!"
"That's pretty useful, besides the implicit fact of killing someone." Tom said. "My Dad can't make up his mind if he wants ketchup or mustard every time we have meat loaf night."
"Any Flat Surface Magnet Belt!"
"Well, that could be useful for prisoners who try and escape." Amity said.
"Freez-inator!"
"Dude, your plan of falling out with your nemesis just to freeze every secret agent sounds way too complicated." Dipper said. "I mean, you have to be a clown to come up with a plan that perfect."
"World's Largest Firecracker!"
"That isn't evil, you were just doing something nice for you daughter." Polly said. "Minus the attempted Platypus murder."
"Poop-inator!"
"Trying to control pigeons to ruin your brother?" Tom asked. "Do you have any idea how envious you sound?"
"Norm the Giant Killer Robot Man!"
The gang looked up at Norm, who greeted them with a wave. "Hi there." Norm greeted the four. "Are you having a good time with my master explaining every one of his disastrous plans?"
"I'm right here, Norm." Doofenshmritz said. "Gloom-inator 3000-inator!"
"And that connects with you and magic, why?" Amity asked.
"Bread-inator!"
"Turning a statue into bread because you can't grow a beard?" Dipper asked. "And also, you could use that to give countries suffering from world hunger, bread."
"Ugly-inator!"
"People say beauty isn't everything, but honestly, you're prettier than whatever ugly creature tries to eat me." Polly said. "Even though you are very ugly."
"Slow Motion-inator!"
"Slow motion is very annoying, not evil." Tom said.
"Sandwich-Suit-Remove-inator!"
"From your description, I have two opinions." Amity said. "A: They seem annoying and B: Do you want people to lose their jobs?"
"Media-Erase-inator!"
"And what's wrong with doing one good deed?" Dipper asked.
"Giant Robotic Penguin Icy Freeze Your Socks Off Breath-inator!"
"Freezing a city is bad enough, but all that for hot chocolate?!" Polly exclaimed.
"Destructo-Inator!" Doofenshmritz announced. "Actually, I never used it and I can't remember what it actually does so moving on to the Now Who's Blinded by Sand-inator!"
"Because of some stupid bully?!" Tom asked. "Seriously, how petty are you?!"
"Leaf Blower-inator!"
"Why don't you just ask your neighbour to stop blowing leaves into your yard?" Amity asked.
"Flat-a-Platinator!"
"Seriously, I have a hard time believing your enemy is a platypus." Dipper said.
"Misbehave-inator!"
"I don't know what a dog is, but that isn't evil, you're just trying to cheat." Polly said.
"Steak Specs!"
"What's the point of having Steak Specs?" Tom asked while eating one of the pairs.
"Steak Containment Unit!"
"Stealing all the steaks?" Amity laughed. "Jokes on you, there's a lot of meat so the Tri-State Area won't suffer."
"Giant Heat Ray!" Doofenshmritz announced. "Actually, that machine caused trouble so moving on. Okay, this was something my ancestor made in the 1800's, the Concoction Brewinator! Honestly, I already know I'm a mad scientist so I won't need it! But moving on to the Blender-inator! It's not really evil, I was showing it because I'm curious if you're thirsty. Is anyone thirsty? I'm feeling thirsty."
"No, I'm good." Dipper replied.
"I just ate a pair of steak glasses, so I'm fine." Tom replied.
"I'm fine." Amity replied.
"I'm in a bucket of water, so in a way, I am drinking!" Polly replied.
"Well, I just realised the blender's broken so moving on." Doofenshmritz said before moving on to his next machine. "Disintevaporater!"
"Well, it's kind of nice doing something for your friend, but then again, it would be destroying a lot of evidence, so in a way, your mentor is the evil one." Dipper responded. "Because he was too lazy to destroy his own hideout so he let you do it because he doesn't think your competent for doing anything else."
"Ouch." Doofenshmritz responded. "That's cold. Anyway, Dance-inator! It was meant to be a clothes dryer but I accidentally invented that instead."
"If it makes you dance good? I'm gonna use it on Hop Pop." Polly responded.
"Doofania!"
"You invented that just to avoid your brother and ex-wife?!" Tom exclaimed. "Seriously, that's something Chevy Run would do in International Lampoon's Christmas Holiday."
"Space Station!"
"Instead of using it to take the role of mayor from your brother, you used it to make hand puppets?!" Amity asked.
"Giant Robot Spider-inator!" Doofenshmritz then froze and took a second glance. "Wait a minute, I don't remember building that! Anyway, moving on to the Giant Baking Soda Volcano!"
"A science contest?" Dipper asked. "And all because you keep losing to model volcanos? I can actually relate."
"And this is the machine the model volcanos kept beating, my 1st Inator! It just fires a laser, so nothing really evil." Doofenshmritz explained. "Anyway, moving on to my Submarine!"
"You should make up your plans before doing them." Polly replied.
"Behold, Buoyancy Operated Aquatic Transport!"
"You plan to flood the city so you could sell something that everybody already made." Tom responded.
"Universal Delete Button!"
"I have a lot of embarrassing memories I'd like to erase from people's memories." Amity said. "Like, an awkward kiss I gave my girlfriend."
"Read My Mind-inator!"
"Please don't read my mind!" Dipper responded.
"Delete From My Mind-inator!"
"I have embarrassing things I'd like to erase from my mind." Polly stated.
"Smell-inator!"
"That's just a stink bomb times 100." Tom replied. "Wait, why does it feel like I've said it before?"
"Hot Dog Vendor Revenge-inator!"
"I don't know what a hot dog is, but you couldn't have tried to continue selling your bratwurst?" Amity asked. "What are these things?"
"Platypus Secret Agent Arrival In Order to Foil My Evil Plot Capture-inator!"
"Again, I still think you don't fight a platypus." Dipper said.
"Turn Everything Evil-inator!"
"You could've used it on your brother." Polly responded.
"The Invis-inator!"
"Why couldn't you have used it to turn yourself invisible so these Fireside girls don't know you're at home?" Tom asked.
"The De-Love-inator Satellite!"
"Someone is jealous." Amity said.
"The Whale Translator-inator!"
"Actually, trying to understand what whales are saying for your girlfriend is a nice idea." Dipper said. "Sorry she somehow left you for one."
"Ballgown-inator!"
"Well, someone's compensating for something." Polly said before chuckling. "Hold on, why do I feel I've said that?"
"Static Electro Amplif-inator!"
"You invented that just to pop balloons?" Tom asked. "Wow, how sad are you?"
"Kick-inator 5000!"
"You are helping people with inability to kick." Amity said. "Like yourself. Seriously, my parents are nicer in comparison."
"Evaporator-inator!"
"You invented that to get rid of public pools all because your Mom wouldn't let you swim in them?!" Dipper asked. "Wow, I can't believe I'm feeling sorry for you."
"Scorch-inator!"
"If you were addicted to infomercials, you could've gotten therapy!" Polly yelled.
"Mountain Out of a Molehill-inator!"
"That's just a metaphor to not overreact." Tom said.
"Unstuck-inator!" Doofenshmritz yelled. "Okay, that was just to make the Mountain Out of a Molehill-inator work. Anyway, here are some rocket boots I made to impress my arch nemesis' then new nemesis and here is a self destruct button I use for every one of my devices."
"And that destroys them?" Amity asked.
"Yes." Doofenshmritz replied. "Yes it does."
Amity then walked up to Doofenshmritz and used her Abomination to make a hand to slap him in the back of the head. "Don't put self destruct buttons on your devices!"
"Monkey Enslave-inator helmet!"
"Seriously, why not humans to do your laundry service?" Dipper asked. "Why monkeys? Or couldn't you make more Norms?"
"Seriously sir, why don't you make more versions of me?" Norm asked.
"Quiet Norm and go do my laundry!" Doofenshmritz demanded.
"Okay sir." Norm responded before picking up a basket to do his laundry.
"Tracking Device with a camera bot attached!" Doofenshmritz announced.
"You should use that more often." Polly said.
"Rockets to move Danville Lighthouse!"
"Why couldn't you just fly your building to a different location instead of causing many shipwrecks?" Tom asked.
"Bum Bum-inator!"
"Babies can't walk, genius!" Amity responded. "You're gonna have to wait for like 10 months until they can fully walk."
"Nanny-inator!"
"Oh man, you even made that for your army?" Dipper groaned.
"Giant Dog Biscuit-inator Covered in Gravy!"
"While the reason to get rid of dogs sounds petty, you were lucky this Don Rick guy wasn't there." Polly said.
"Don Rick?"
"An action movie Anne brags about." Polly replied. "Some guy did the same thing to his dog and they were never heard from again."
"Moving on." Doofenshmritz said while sweating. "Musical-Videoclip-inator which is actually a Musical-Video-Mind-Control-inator!" Doofnshmirtz then froze. "Wait a minute, I don't remember this one. What was it even for?"
Doofenshmritz then switched on the machine and managed to find out what it does. The screen turned on to reveal a spinning head version of Doofenshmritz repeating 'My name is Doof and you'll do what I say' and 'Woop Woop!'
Doofenshmritz then switched it off. "Okay, that was annoying. Moving on to the Yodel-inator!"
"Mind controlling people through yodelling?" Tom asked. "Where have I heard that stupid idea before? Oh that's right, Dome On The Rage."
"Plata-Proliferator-inator!"
"Why didn't you make clones of your brother to destroy his public image?" Amity asked. "Instead of your platypus nemesis I'm not sure exists."
"Metal Destruct-inator!"
"I was briefly taking you seriously before you mentioned that the gun turns metal into broccoli." Dipper said.
"Retire-inator!" Doofenshmritz exclaimed. "Okay, I plan to use that one later in my life, but here is the real Re-Tire-inator!"
"You could've just moved your foot out of the way instead of getting your foot crushed." Polly responded.
"Cage-inator!" Doofenshmritz shook his head again. "Oh yeah, it turned out to open cages so, yeah. Moving on to the Mime-inator!"
"You're kind of doing everyone a favour by getting rid of mimes." Tom said.
"Evil Spray!"
"Good luck if they have anything that works against plants." Amity said in a mocking voice.
"Rocket Skiff and the Anti-Romance Rocket on the right!"
"Okay, the rocket skiff is a useful mode of transportation and, seriously, your rocket is just the De-Love-inator Satellite but dumber." Dipper said.
"Naughty-inator!"
"Wait, the Earth legend known as Santa is real?!" Polly exclaimed.
"Be-gone-inators A through C!"
"Seriously, why can't you just try and be a better version of your smug brother?" Tom asked.
"Junk Food-inator!"
"Just because someone becomes fat it doesn't render them stupid." Amity said.
"Eulg!"
"That's glue backwards. Why an adult diaper factory?" Dipper asked. "You aren't wearing a pair right now, right?"
"No!" Doofenshmritz replied.
"Sir, your adult diapers have arrived." Norm said while holding a pack of adult diapers.
"They're not mine Norm." Doofenshmritz protested while pushing his robot butler away. "They're for Doofensmirtz! Not me!"
Dipper, Amity, Tom and Polly laughed at Doofenshmritz's embarrassing moment while the mad pharmacist cringed.
"Carbon Footprint-inator!"
"Do you even know what a carbon footprint is?" Tom asked.
"Anti Gravity Evil Launch-inator!"
"You do realise it's titled as Anti Gravity Fun, according to these blueprints?" Amity asked.
"Duplic-8-inator!"
"You're just gonna make people want to walk instead of being in traffic." Dipper said. "Therefore, you're kind of encouraging people to lose weight."
"In Doors-inator!"
"The idea of a platypus kicking your butt is something a man who hallucinates would say." Polly said.
"Wrapped Up In A Nice Little Bow-inator!"
"I don't get how that one is evil." Tom said. "You're kind of making wrapping presents a whole lot easier."
"Aerosol Propelled Ozone Deplete-inator!"
"You do realise no one on Earth will be able to read it, right?" Amity asked.
"Shrink-inator Ray!"
Dipper groaned. "You could've used that to shrink your brother!"
"Straitjacket-inator!"
"I don't know what a straitjacket is, but it seems like a useful device to get straitjackets on to crazy people." Polly said.
"Replacement Robot!" Doofenshmritz exclaimed. "This was what I was gonna use to replace Norm with."
"It was a hard day." Norm said with a frown on his robotic face.
"Gigantinator!"
"You could've used that to grow big and take over the Tri-State area." Tom said.
"Omni-Directional-Amplifinator!"
"Aliens, really?" Amity sighed.
"Eradicate Rodney's-Inator-inator!"
"Who's Rodney?!" Dipper exclaimed.
"I was about to ask the same thing." Polly responded.
"Fake Mayor Video!"
"Huh, I swear this is how Mayor Toadstool became mayor." Polly said. "Only it was on a piece of paper."
"Accelerate-inator!"
"I'd love to speed up a game of golf as well." Tom commented.
"Paper Cut-inator!"
"You do realise people tend to ignore paper cuts, right?" Amity asked.
"De-Evolution-ator!"
"Why invent that?" Dipper asked. "And how will de-evolving humans make them dumber?"
"Sand-inator!"
"I don't like sand but getting sand in your trunks is more annoying than evil." Polly said.
"Yeah." Dipper agreed. "It's coarse."
"Rough." Polly said.
"Irritating." Tom commented.
"And it gets everywhere." Amity finished.
"Giant water balloon!"
"Again, that's just a dumb water ballon prank but made bigger." Tom said.
"Doof 'N' Puss!"
"Well, not really an evil scheme." Amity said. "But I think the show would be better if the platypus had a girlfriend."
"Oh that's what the last guy said." Doofenshmritz groaned. "Brat Begone-inator!" Doofenshmritz shook his head again. "Wait, how many inators have I built without knowing if I built them?! Anyway, Tilt-inator!"
"Wouldn't that mess up the position of your furniture by turning your tower into a Tower of Pisa knockoff?" Dipper asked.
"Alien-inator!"
"Okay, people can tell those aliens are fake!" Polly exclaimed.
"Telethon of Evil!"
"Yeah, that was never gonna work." Tom said. "Besides, your wife is loaded, you could've asked for more money from her."
"Pre-Empt-Inator!"
"So, that's how you got people to see your telethon?" Amity asked. "Stupid, yet impressive."
"Lunar Rotate-inator!"
"And I thought you destroying the moon because of moon songs was dumb." Dipper commented.
"Look Away-inator!"
"How sad are you?" Polly asked. "How can you be scared of heights when you live on a very high building?"
"De-Volition-inator!"
"And controlling your brother never came into your head?!" Tom angrily asked.
"Magnetism Magnif-inator!"
"That's just your first plan." Tom commented.
"But I did it in a musical forrrrrrrrmmmmm." Doofenshmritz sang.
"Super-Claw-inator!"
"Again, why can't you just be a better person than your brother?" Amity asked.
"Go Away-inator!"
"That's just the Be-Gone-Inator, but only is very, very petty." Dipper commented. "Why couldn't you have just drove to the movie theatre instead of getting rid of a building?"
"Rain-inator!"
"Isn't there a thing called binge watching?" Polly asked.
"Combine-inator!"
"Technically, Roger would still be leader." Tom said.
"Dodo-Bird-Incubator-inator!"
"How you've never heard of a dodo bird is beyond me." Amity said. "And dodos aren't extinct, they just went back to the Boiling Isles."
"Video-Beam-Hijack-Non-inator!"
"Was the movie about your brother that bad?" Dipper asked.
"Blow-Itself-Up-Inator!" The inator then blew up, covering Doofenshmritz in soot. "I think that was self explanatory. Inside-Out-Inator!"
"Well, could've kept that one hidden from your nemesis." Polly said.
"Salt Water Taffy-inator!"
"But, kids are kind of getting cavities by drinking soda." Tom said.
"Moisture Suck-inator!"
"Seriously, why couldn't you have gone to a gardening class?" Amity asked.
"Metal Unearth-inator!"
"You couldn't have used a Find-My-Key-inator?" Dipper asked.
"All Purpose-inator!"
"You were never specific on what it does." Polly said.
"Least Likely-inator!"
"Well, even if your brother did something mean, he would still be in power." Tom said. "That's how politics works nowadays."
"Pick 'Em Up-inator!"
"Now, that's a machine he put to good use." Amity said.
"And over here is my Norm prototype." Doofenshmritz said while pointing to the original Norm head. Which looked like Norm, only he had black hair and had a bit of a smug face. "How are you doing original Norm head?"
"Was doing well until you ruined my isolation." The original Norm head replied. "Hey, are these the new critics, because from what I was hearing, they were doing an amazing job destroying you."
Polly smiled. "I like this one."
"Hey, why do you have a bow?" The original Norm head replied. "You're a tadpole, wouldn't the bow just fall off?"
"I see why you got rid of him." Amity said. "He's very cynical."
"Hey, have children ever tried to eat your hair?" The original Norm head asked. "Because it looks like cotton candy. Oh and demon boy, that's a nice jacket, did you get it at Dumb Topic?"
"Ouch." Tom said.
"Moving on." Doofenshmritz responded. "Stain-inator!"
"Oh yeah, last time I checked, accidents and intentional damage were the same thing." Original Norm head sarcastically commented.
"Very Very Bad-inator!"
"Oh wow, what an original idea." Original Norm head sarcastically joked. "Except if it wasn't like those other inators with the same functions."
"Okay, could you leave the critical comments to us?" Dipper asked.
"Alright, I'll speak if there's a good one." Original Norm head replied.
"Rotten-inator!"
Dipper approached Doofenshmritz. "TAKE! A! COOKING! CLASS!" Dipper shouted.
"Dull and Boring-inator!"
"Could've made a Dynamic-inator instead." Polly commented.
"Yeah, Perry the platypus made me build that." Doofenshmritz said. "But then, he had me rebuilt the Dull and Boring-inator and then destroyed it again. He couldn't make up his mind. Moving on to the Forget-About-It-inator!"
"Instead of making your daughter forget a off-hand remark, you could've used it on everyone and your brother so you could be mayor." Tom said.
"Hey, can I butt in?" Old Norm head asked. "I agree with demon boy, you could have!"
"Chicken Soup-inator!"
"Did you even bother to check if it was a fly?" Amity asked.
"Big Rig!"
"That's what you carry your self-destruct button energy on?!" Dipper angrily asked. "Don't build self-destruct buttons!"
"Hitch-a-Ride-inator!"
"Well, at least you could fight this imaginary platypus." Polly said.
"Oh no, Perry the Platypus isn't imaginary." The current Norm said. "He gets his butt handed to him on a daily basis."
The Old Norm head chuckled. "Oh boy, I loved seeing those."
"Amnesia-inator!" Doofenshmritz announced. "I know it's similar to the Forget-About-It-inator, but I seriously don't remember building this one. Moving on to the Pop-Up-inator!"
"Oh, that's the most evilest thing I've ever heard you do." Tom commented. "I hate pop up ads."
"If-a-Tree-Fell-in-the-Forest-inator!"
"Yeah, people will just class it as random white noise." Amity commented.
"Mind-Transfer-inator!"
"Yeah, turning into a werecow was a stupid decision." Dipper said.
"Because turning into a werewolf wouldn't have made sense." The Old Norm head sarcastically commented.
"Gimmelshtump-inator!"
"So you think people from your home country are stupid?" Polly asked. "I didn't know you could be racist to your own country."
"Rude-inator!"
"Again, that's childish." Tom said.
"Historical Army Retrieve-inator!"
"My girlfriend has told me about Spartans so, I doubt you'd actually want to try and control King Leonidas." Amity said.
"Propaganda!"
"While people will believe in everything they read, people are a lot smarter than you're letting on." Dipper said.
"Transport-inator!"
"I don't know what Christmas is, but couldn't you have just walked to the store before it opened?" Polly asked.
"Now this one was made by my ancestor during the prehistoric era, Stick-inator!"
"And he somehow didn't get recognition?" Tom asked.
"Well, my ancestor Doofus Khan did when he built the Giant Mechanical Dragon that I successfully recreated." Doofenshmritz replied.
"And what time period was this made in?" Amity asked.
"Ancient China." Doofenshmritz replied.
"Doofus Khan." The original Norm head laughed. "I guess his first name is pretty self explanatory."
"Yeah yeah, moving on to the Underwear-inator!"
"Being in their underwear is no one's fear." Dipper said. "Most people would rather be comfortable in their underwear. Like Tom is for example. Put your pants on!"
"Turkey-inator!"
"How does eating a turkey make you fall to sleep?!" Polly exclaimed. "And a sleep epidemic doesn't sound bad. Least I'll sleep for a few weeks."
"Butler-inator!"
"How many hypnotising inators have you made that you didn't use to your advantage?" Tom asked while putting his pants back on.
"Vaporizer-inator!"
"What would be left of the Tri-State Area if you used it?" Amity asked.
"Duplicate-inator 2!"
"Always taking metaphors too seriously." The Norm head commented sarcastically.
"Mustache-inator!"
"I don't know what's so funny about moustaches, I think they look cool." Dipper said. "I might grow one. Even though Pacifica says I shouldn't."
"Tell-the-Truth-inator!"
"That would be useful for people who've committed crimes and maybe politicians." Polly said.
"I saw the politician joke coming a mile away." The original Norm head responded.
"Robot Abraham Lincoln!"
"Since you seem to think everyone in the Tri-State Area is stupid, why don't you pretend that the robot is Abe's ghost?" Tom suggested.
"Sculpt-inator!"
"And what connection does making a sculpture of yourself have with taking over the Tri-State Area?" Amity asked.
De-Handsome-inator!"
"That's not true!" Dipper responded. "Being handsome doesn't get you anything all the time!"
"Telescope with ray!" Doofenshmritz announced. "You know, I never actually used it. Moving on to Juice-inator!"
"Why juice?!" Polly asked. "There won't be a city hall to run!"
"De-Twist-inator!"
"Pretzels?!" Tom asked while eating a pretzel. "You have a grudge against pretzels?!"
"Okay, don't eat the pretzel in front of me." Doofenshmritz requested. "It's making me angry! Moving on to the Baby-Cry-inator!"
"Are you kidding me?!" Amity exclaimed. "Politicians don't care about crying babies."
"Key-Find-inator!"
"That could be useful to find any missing key in the world." Dipper said.
"Massive Propellers!"
"Well, good thing you were replaced by your apprentice who was somehow more eviler than you." The old Norm head commented.
"Babe-inator!"
"Turning people into babies?" Polly asked. "That sounds similar to an episode of a cartoon Anne used to watch when she was a child. Some Guy Rectanglepants."
"Chicken Replace-inator!"
"That's a childish prank." Tom responded. "And how does that ruin your brother's reputation if his award gets turned into a chicken?"
"The Confetti-inator, Cupcake-inator and Hug-inator!" Doofenshmritz announced. "Anyway, I know they aren't evil but I combined them into the Cupcake-hug-o-fetti-inator!"
"How is giving cupcakes evil?" Amity asked. "But non-consensual hugs are kind of evil."
"Dough Blow-inator!"
"A pizza guy?!" Dipper exclaimed. "How many petty grudges does he have?"
"Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he had a grudge against a squirrel." The Old Norm head responded.
"Cool-inator!"
"Your plan sounds sad." Polly commented.
"De-Age-inator!"
"How is a film festival meant to encourage people?" Tom asked. "Honestly, you should've had a grudge against the film festival for not allowing old people to be filmmakers."
"Platyp-inator!"
"Turning into your arch nemesis' species?" Amity queried. "I mean, I doubt you could've replicated his fighting style."
"Double-inator!"
"Once again, copying your inventions." The Old Norm head sarcastically remarked. "Such originality."
"Fitness Equipment Lock-inator!"
"There are practical ways to lose weight." Dipper commented.
"Ultimate Evil-inator!"
"Stop being unoriginal!" Polly exclaimed.
"Now, I'm just gonna speed run through the next ones." Doofenshmritz announced. "Because I can't remember if I ever used some of them for a petty evil scheme. Disintegrator-inator! The Galaxy-inator! Derezz-inator! Overhang-inator! Upper Decker-inator! Pickle Slicer-inator! The Stand-and…..Can't remember what this one was called. The Boar…Okay, again with this one. And these two, I don't know what these are called. Smells-Like-Hay-inator! Julienn-inator! Go Home-inator! Re-Good-inator! Magnify-inator!"
"Some of them are very explanatory." Tom commented.
"Double Dutch Machine!"
"Seems more like an exercise machine." Amity said.
"Sphere-Attract-inator!"
"A ball of twine." Dipper scoffed. "Nobody cares about roadside attractions. You should've invested in tourist traps like my Grunkle."
"A-Leaky Faucet-inator!"
"You know, some people would be a bit happy about women being-"
"Woah! Keep it clean!" Doofenshmritz interjected Polly. "This is a kid's show."
"Hey Dr Doofus, we're not in a TV show." Old Norm head commented.
"Peach Cobbler-inator!"
"Peach cobbler?" Tom asked. "Why couldn't you make a machine that makes me people want chocolate? Since you think people become stupid when they're overweight."
"Trip to the Desert-inator!"
"Why couldn't you have used that to get rid of your brother?" Amity asked.
"Back-story-inator!"
"Wow, he made a machine based solely on his overly dramatic backstories." Old Norm head commented rudely. "Yeah, that was gonna happen at some point."
"Big Sad Eye-inator!"
"I already feel bad for you." Dipper said. "And not in the best way."
"Abominable-Inator!"
"With the amount of hair all over your body, you're already an abominable snowman." Old Norm head sarcastically commented.
"Resolution-Changer-Inator!"
"Nobody keeps their resolutions!" Polly exclaimed.
"Feed-The-Pigeons-Inator!"
"You do realise you won't go to prison for that?" Tom asked.
"Best-Inator!"
"Finally, a machine without a self destruct button." Tom sighed.
"Human Head-Inator!"
"Why did you build that?" Amity asked.
"I built it so I could understand what dogs are saying." Doofenshmritz replied. "But I should've gone with a translator-inator instead."
"Luffa-plex Dill Pickle-inator!"
"Seriously dude, again with using it on your brother." Dipper commented.
"Rust-inator!"
"Some people consider rusted junk works of art." Polly said.
"Boomslaka 320-I!"
"Why couldn't you have donated the car for a car auction?" Tom suggested. "I'm pretty sure someone would have wanted it."
"Kinderlumper-inator!"
"Oh yeah, I read about that." Amity said. "And I think you got the legend wrong. It's actually a creature that punishes bad children with coal and awards good children with gifts."
"That's Santa Clause!" Doofenshmritz exclaimed. "And besides, how many contradicting stories are there to the Kinderlumper? Anyway, moving on to the Train Operator-inator!"
"Because using it to control your brother's trains didn't make much sense." The Old Norm head sarcastically commented.
"Cloud Magnetiz-inator!"
"How is a moose not arriving in Canada meant to start a civil war?" Dipper asked. "And I thought everyone in your world of Canada was polite. Wouldn't them starting a civil war be…Now I get it."
"Special shoes!"
"Because dancing lessons were too expensive apparently!" Polly exclaimed. "Even though your wife is apparently loaded!"
"Eye-Fog-Inator!"
"Yeah, but there's a problem, you'll have to walk to the ophthalmologist's!" Tom yelled.
"Aroma-Inator!"
"Yes, because as we all know, bees have kings." The Old Norm head sarcastically commented.
"Double-Negative-Inator!"
"Why couldn't you just search the recipe off of this internet Luz told me about?" Amity asked.
"Blend-Into-The-Background-Inator!"
"I'm pretty sure you would've done it without a machine." Dipper said.
"Away-Inator helmet!"
"Huh, you actually did the world a favour and briefly got rid one of the Osbournes." Old Norm head said. "And I mean that genuinely!"
"Shame it wasn't permanent." Tom said.
"Eat-It-All-Inator!"
"And you never thought of selling this?!" Polly asked. "Eating everything without getting fat!"
"Bring-Out-Dessert-Inator!"
"Actually, on my father's side of the family, serving desserts before the main course is traditional." Tom commented. "So, you're not doing anything evil."
"Switch-Place-Inator!"
"Because apparently selling it to people who don't have hair or have stubble was too dumb." Amity commented. "I mean, you could've made money off of that without removing people's hair."
"Bugs Me-Inator!"
"Oh, back to the pettiness." The Old Norm head announced.
"90 Degree-turn-inator!"
"Okay, this dance of contrition is absolutely hilarious." Dipper said while watching an old timey video of the mayor of Gimmelshtump performing the dance to the person whom he offended. "Not evil, but this is very humiliating."
"Power-Drain-Inator!"
"Wow, that is actually the first good plan you have." Old Norm head said. "Hey little elf girl, put that on the good tally."
"I'm not an elf." Amity said before putting a tally on a piece of chalkboard in the good plan section as opposed to the bad plan section which had very incalculable tallies.
"Sloth-inator!"
"A machine that can turn you into the laziest animal in existence." Polly smiled. "I want that!"
"Oatmeal-to-Porridge-inator!"
"That sounds more convenient then evil." Tom commented.
"Multi-Helio-Tactical-Baboon-Glom-inator!" Doofenshmritz announced. "Okay, I don't know what this one does. Moving on to the Waffle-Inator!"
"It shoots waffles." The Old Norm head commented. "Because as we know, waffles are the most powerful ammunition in existence."
"Junk-Mail-inator!"
"Well, if it gets rid of junk mail then that's fine." Amity said. "But not really evil."
"Disintegrator-inator!"
"How many of these do you have?" Dipper asked.
"Inflate-inator!"
"Because asking the bagpipe player to turn it down was dumb?!" Polly exclaimed.
"De-Clutter-inator!"
"Well, that's useful." Tom said. "But again, not exactly evil."
"Inexplicable Giant Floating Baby Head-Attract-inator!"
"Giant floating baby head?" Amity queried with an eyebrow raised before the inexplicable giant floating baby head, floated past, causing everyone immense confusion.
"Uh…" Polly reacted.
"No one's gonna try and explain that?" Tom asked.
"I don't know if there is a way to explain it." Dipper said.
"Make Things Larger-inator!"
"Bats?" Dipper asked. "Is this a Batdude thing? Where you use your worst fear as an advantage."
"Worst-Fear-inator!"
"Again, this sounds like a Batdude thing." Polly commented. "Anne told me the plot to Batdude Begins."
"This next one was made by my ancestor, this is an Evil Swan my ancestor made during the steampunk era." Doofenshmritz explained. "I don't understand why my ancestor made this, I mean, a swan isn't evil. Actually, they are prone to be aggressive so they are kind of evil. Moving on to the Stinkelkrampen-Inator aka Good Luck-Inator!"
"Because he didn't think of that before due to the fact he had to have a grudge against a mammal or something." The Old Norm head sarcastically stated.
"Back-to-the-Store-inator!"
"That….Is very useful." Tom said. "Not evil, but useful."
"I-don't-care-Inator!"
"Can we move on?" Amity asked. "Because I just don't care about this one."
"Shift-The-Earth's-Position-Further-Away-From-The-Sun-Inator!"
"All this because of sunscreen?!" Dipper exclaimed. "You almost made humanity go insane because of sunscreen?!"
"Gum-Under-The-Shoe-inator!" Doofenshmritz exclaimed. "I'm not sure about this one. I don't even know why I made it. Oh wait, it was another Perry the Platypus trap."
"I mean, if this platypus defeats you all the time, how does he get captured all the time?" Polly asked.
"Cannon!"
"Unconventional, but useful." Tom commented.
"Sog-Inator!"
"Wait, you did this for some dumb girl?!" Amity exclaimed. "Who in the end turned out to like you!"
The original Norm head laughed. "Oh man, classic Doofenshmritz."
"Transmogrification-Backpack-inator!"
"Okay, how many imaginary animal friends do you have?" Dipper asked.
"Teleport-inator!"
"Better than riding a snail." Polly commented.
"Warthog-Sprayer-inator!"
"Uh, I doubt turning your brother into a warthog would do anything." Tom sighed. "Because he's a politician."
"Unretrograde-Inator!"
"Again, inspired by your other inventions because originality is dead to you." The Original Norm head sarcastically commented.
"Impersonator-Inator!"
"You couldn't have just impersonated your brother?" Amity asked.
"Sith-Inator!" Doofenshmritz exclaimed before shaking his head. "Aww! How many of these have I built? I don't even remember this one and I don't even know what a Sith is. Moving on to the Motivator-Inator!"
"Motivating stuff to by your merchandise?" Dipper queried. "I know a crooked great uncle that could help you with that."
"Repulse-inator!"
"You used it to make people repulsive, but the downside was that repulsive person was you?" Polly laughed. "That's very funny."
"Galactic Travel-inator!"
"Well, galactic travel seems cool, but not really evil." Tom said.
"And finally, my Axe-inator!"
"Why does an axe have a self destruct button?" Amity asked.
"If you think that's questionable, he has self destruct buttons for his socks." Old Norm head said.
"But, my favourite scheme was one where I intended to launch Big Ben from London and next to my building so I could look outside the window and see what time it is." Doofenshmritz's explanation caused the Old Norm head sigh in annoyance, Dipper to repeatedly bash his head against the wall, Polly to awkwardly sink into her bucket, Amity to scream into a Pillow-Inator and Tom to smile like a madman before laughing.
"So, what do you think?" Doofenshmritz asked. "You demon prince, you seem really interested."
"I think your messed in the head." Tom replied. "You say you're a mad genius yet you're dumb enough to launch a British landmark next door to your building instead of buying either a watch or a clock, wait a minute, you have a clock! Why did you need to steal a popular tourist attraction?! I mean, your plans come across from either stupid, petty, or plans that are perfect yet are ruined by either your stupidity or your pettiness! I mean, you are the worst villain who has ever existed! Your plans don't work!" It was at this moment, Tom was starting to heat up with anger and his eyes to start glowing red. "I mean….How dumb are you?! You're smart enough to build all this but you're dumb to make plans! Especially stealing Big Ben instead of…..buying….a watch….or…..a….CLOOOOOOOOCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!"
Tom's outburst was so angry that fire shot out from the building that the roof blew up and turning into a red fiery skybeam that managed to destroy Mitch's invading alien forces and even a race of insect aliens.
Once the fire cleared, the terrified Doofenshmritz was covered in soot due to Tom's angriest outburst while Dipper's hat was on fire, some of Amity's hair strand was on fire, Polly was luckily protected since her bucket was fireproof while the Old Norm head was immune to fire.
The Old Norm head that was placed on a table was in wide-eyed disbelief as to what happened. "Wow! Dr Doof's dumb ideas finally broke someone."
Amity then coughed some smoke before Dipper collapsed.
"Guys, Dipper's probably dead!" Polly yelled out while Doofenshmritz collapsed.
Sorry about that, just wanted to make a funny short. But we will go back to our original programming very soon.
"Original programming?"
Ignore that alternative universe of Tom, you don't exactly matter. Now, go and have your own adventures while I go back to my own. Which will come at some point, I promise.