Chapter 13: The Soul Becomes ZINKO

"OH MY GOD! JOTARO! I KNOW you know that I'm really attracted to people with dead parents who get really emotional about it! So just shut up about your dad! I KNEW you would do this! And right after my brother's death? That's low, but I can't say I wasn't expecting it. But you can stop trying to get me back because you can't! My new boyfriend Jet Murphy is moving in with us, like, the day after tomorrow! I'm basically taken!" Katara huffed.

Everyone was sitting around the table, looking at Jotaro unquenchable concern. Allexcept for Zuko. All he could think about was Jet Murphy. That bastard Jet Murphy… Why is he moving in here? He is the only thing standing between me and Katara! Maybe I should stab Jet Murphy with a fork… No, I don't have time for that. I need something bold… I have to make a move fast! Zuko stood up, knocking over not only his chair, but Kakyoin's as well (Kakyoin fell to the floor with a scream). Jumping up onto the stove, he looked straight at Jotaro.

"Listen here, buckaroo. You remind me of a pet rooster I had back in my college days! You're, like, so ugly. And your little sob story about your Pappy? I DON'T CARE! NOT A WHIT! He didn't even burn your face, you fucking weakling. YEAH, I CAN SWEAR. I'M COOL LIKE THAT!" Shifting his foot out of the growing fire on the top of the stove, he threw a pot at Katara to get her attention. Using Star Platinum, she punched the pot away from her. It ricocheted off the ceiling and floor five times before hitting Kakyoin in the stomach and going straight through him. He was donuted. Spine broken, internal organs irreparably damaged. Kakyoin knew he only had minutes to live. But Zuko didn't care.

"KATARA!" Zuko screamed. "I've always loved you. Every day of my life, the first thing I think of when I wake up is you, and the lst thing I think about before going to sleep in Aang's bed is you! Then you visit my dreams! In short, you are like a parasitic growth; a constant in my life. You are like the devil, and god. But you're MY devil and god! You're like a pair of glasses I put on to see the world. You're like a set of Spanx I put on, for an hour glass figure. You're like that DIY nose job, like a knife. GOD. OH MY GOD. KATARA. YOU DON'T EVEN GET IT." Suddenly Zuko looked like a sensitive soft boy. "I… I wrote a song for you… I fully explain my emotions. Please don't think about how the tune is the exact same as the Imperial March (Anidala is my example for a healthy relationship… I haven't seen the third prequel yet, I'm really excited to see how their beautiful marriage works out! I know they'll be together forever! I wonder where Padme is in the Original star wars movies… she must be busy or something! I just know she's happy and healthy with her amazing hubby!) Anyways Katara, please listen to my song, and please make the decision to love me just as much as I love youuuuu! Me and u 4EVER BABE!"

Here Zuko raised his head high and began to sing like an possessed angel.

"Make friends with hair ties

I'm not running.

Do you know that I will always be the guy?

You CANNOT think of me during all the night,

But I think that it is backward… Oh God.

There is something warm...

It appears to be greater!

Therefore, if you are ready, I will not in order to feed!

My servant is sweatshirt.

I can put the t-shirt!

I will tell my friend that we together until the end….

A girl who can wear my shirt.

For I will be with you, and you do not want to be such a great cold!

So used to baby...

Where he sleeps at night, to wake up in the morning,

When you go to the gym, you know you want to show it!

And this is the start of something new...

Alas, that I should do for thee? Tell me, what do you want any other girl?

Therefore, if you are ready, I will not in order to feed!

My servant is sweatshirt.

I can put the t-shirt on...

I will tell my friend that we together until the end!

A girl who can wear my shirt!

For I will be with you, and you do not want to be such a great cold.

The children took advantage of it ...

You can wear a T-shirt and my T-shirt.

And because they do not want to keep cool,

In general cold weather in general.

So you can use sweaty shirt;

I can put the t-shirt on shirt."

Zuko exhaled. He felt renewed, as he looked into Katara's godly face. He felt a new day had dawned. The earth was spinning anew. There was yet hope! Katara paused for a few seconds, the sighed exasperatedly.

"Zuko, I hope you know that I appreciate you and your kind words. I really do. And maybe through all of this, I haven't let you know what you mean to me. You're not my friend or anything, but I do value you. But I'm not into you like that! You should know that you are way too short for me! I only date guys who are at least 6'5! And JET MURPHY is moving in, like, tomorrow!" Katara breathed in and out, in an attempt to calm her ever growing emotions of frustration towards the pathetic Zuko. "I'm basically taken now so I'm off the market! MOVE ON!"

Zuko fell to his knees. He expected the rush of emotions so strong, this time they would surely crush him. Like they did before. All those times, screaming at this sick, ungrateful world. But this time, there was no rush of emotional pain. His heart daggers were no more. Like he was wearing aluminum foil armour, or standing by a big cow. The voices of the others seemed far away.

"Hey, uh, Zuko I get you're in your feelings right now, but what's that hiding in the scrap pile? Zuko, you should really clean this place up. Oh wait, it's just a big cow. Look, man, I know you really want someone to hold you, but Katara's just not interested! She likes JET MURPHY. Also, could someone take me to a hospital? I just got punched… through.. Nevermind, apparently I'm fine? The gaping hole in my torso is gone… Could it be because of JET MURPHY? Because of BIGGER FISH? MAybe it was because of that guy who just came by but none of you saw him… He was like a diamond… It was crazy… He was like a crazy diamond…."

"Quiet, Kakyoin." Zuko snapped angrily. Then he collapsed into the shadow of ZINKO. Zuko was gone 4 ever.

Only ZINKO remained.

"Hey guys, I'm ZINKO. What's up?"

Everyone screamed with terror and delight.