Chapter 16: The Soul Has It's Homeland Taken by Force by Veronica Lodge

The first was a noise like a noise like a hurricane, blowing into and all around the beach house. The windows shook with agony. The foundations of the house quaked.

"W-what's that? If this is just weather, then that's bad! It's definitely because mercury is in retrograde." Katara's voice quavered with nervousness.

"Silly Katara! These winds are here, like, every day! It's always like this, right? Nothing out of the ordinary!" Kakyoin said, very confidently.

"But Kakyoin! At this time of day you're always passed out on the window sill!" Katara shrieked with frustration. "It's because Hhhhhierophant Green drinks a lot at this time of day, I thought." Turning to peer out the window, Katara saw an awful figure, silhouetted by the orange light. Kakyoin pulled Katara away from the window viciously.

"Don't get close to the window! This is when the leech rats are out, Katara. Surely you know that. And what did you say about my stand, Hierophant Green (in case you forgot the name) drinking?" Ducking the flying glass from the window (which had just shattered), Kakyoin peered out nervously, keeping his head down.

"Oh my God, Kakyoin, now is not the time! We're clearly being attacked by someone out there! But yes, to make you drop the subject, Hierophant Green drinks a lot! I don't know how you didn't notice! It's your stand!" She took a peek out the window again (or what remained of the window). The shadowy figure was getting closer, strutting towards the house. They could now clearly see that it was the figure of a woman; but unnaturally tall; taller than Aang even. Dark pits marked the twisted visage, it seemed that she had no eyes. Closer and closer she came to the front door.

"What are we going to do? Do we fight, or do we run? We have to make a decision fast; we don't have much time before this house will probably be blown over!" Kakyoin yelled over the wind. Jotaro was edging along the wall, trying to stay out of the wind.

"In the Kujo family… No, the Joestar family, there's a secret technique for times like these! There was an idea, to bring together a group of remarkable-" Jotaro was cut off when Kakyoin grabbed him.

"JUST GET TO THE POINT JOTARO! WE DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH TIME!"

"FINE THEN! IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT MY INCREDIBLE FAMILY HISTORY, AND THE-"

"JOTARO!"

Jotaro sighed. Good grief. They don't care about the Avengers Initiative, which was created to fight the man.

"Fine! Run away! That's the strategy! Just run for your lives!" Jotaro could feel his Grandfather's soul smiling down on him (even though Joseph was just in the other room, staring blankly into space).

Our lovely protagonists ran from their living room, through the kitchen, and out the back door, stopping only to grab Joseph. Outside of the house, the sky had darkened to the sickly color of amber. The trees of Ember Island were being stripped of their leaves, the wind was so strong. From the back yard, they could see the ocean, and the huge waves that were crashing in. The beach was uninhabited, thanks to the ghosts, who were being currently swept off to sea. Katara turned back to the house with some regret.

"Guys, I think we left JET MURPHY in the house." She said, with a small smile. He hadn't been as amazing as she had thought.

"Eh, I'm sure he'll be fine, Katara. Anyways, there aren't all that many traps I set on the top floor, I'm sure he'll avoid them and get out of the house in one piece, or two at the most."

A terrible ripping sound came from the foundations of the house. The wind swirled to new speeds, ripping off Jotaro's hat. He screamed. A figure came running out of the now-tilted house, but it wasn't JET MURPHY, it was Aang, whom they had also forgotten.

The noise the house was making now crescendoed, into a noisy screeching of concrete foundation being ripped from the ground. Zuko's beach house was sent spinning high into the air, as Zuko himself fell out of one of the windows.

"The trials of ZINKO continue… I learn every day how difficult life is…. Ah, me."

They all rushed over to Zuko, but not out of concern.

"Zuko! Or ZINKO, or whatever you're calling yourself, son!" Zuko looked up into the uncaring face of Joseph. "Did you see the other little weirdo in there, Jet or whatever he said his name was? I'm still awfully confused…. I don't really remember much since we went through the portal…."

"No time, old man!" shouted Jotaro, but not without affection. "Ditch Jet, he's a tool of the Man anyways!" And he was right; there was no time at all. Veronica was upon them. She stood maybe a couple meters away from them, fashionably dressed and fashionably late.

"Good god, Daddykins! You all look like you're from District 13! What is this, 2012?!" She boomed with sass.

Our lovely protagonists shivered with fear. The Veronica Lodge continued.

"Anyways, Daddykins, you're done! So done! I'm here to defeat you, economically speaking! What are your assets?!"

Kakyoin, Katara, Jotaro, Aang, and Zuko/ZINKO were entirely prepared to say nothing, given that they had no idea what assets were.

"I don't know, lady!" yelled Jotaro. "I only know stonks, and I know that they're a tool of the Man!" Veronica looked incredibly disgusted.

"You uncultured, uneducated, unnatractive, unworthy, untalented, morons. Are you telling me that none of you-"

Here Joseph spoke, in a scream.

"JOESTAR REALTY!" Veronica smiled her weird lipsticked smile.

"Excellent, Josephykins. You're DONE. My Master Robert will definitely be pleased about this, he won't even need to send his other servants!" Veronica smugly rummaged in her very expensive purse for a second, just to draw attention to how expensive it was.

Jotaro glared at his Grandfather.

"Old Man, why would you say that? If you hadn't, she probably would have left us alone!" Jotaro went to adjust his hat, but it was long gone. Veronica had caught it from the wind, and was spinning it on her finger.

"That's right, I would've left you alone! But now, YOU'RE DONE, JOSEPHYKINS! I'll take over your realty business first, then the Electric Company, then the Waterworks of Ember Island." She put on Jotaro's hat to assert dominance. Of course Jotaro was already barely coping without his hat, and this was the last straw, forgetting he didn't have his stand, he walking very very dramatically towards Veronica, and shouted,

"Star Platinum!", proceeding to menacingly point at Veronica. Even the wind seemed to quiet down for a second.

Nothing happened. Jotaro paused, and looked around, then saw Star Platinum hovering behind Katara, still Tiktok dancing. Katara herself was cringing with second hand embarrassment for Jotaro, so much so that she even considered giving him back his stand, to spare herself the cringe. But the laws of divorce are absolute.

"Um…. Jotarykins, that was more mediocre than 90% of the Met Galas. Why exactly were you shouting nonsense words and pointing at me?" Veronica was almost as confused as she had been by literally every plot point in Riverdale.

Jotaro was so intensely ashamed that he couldn't even answer. Kakyoin stepped forward, to try to save the situation.

"Uh, you see, Veronica, Jotaro here isn't actually crazy, Stands are a real thing. Normally it looks really cool when you get your stand to show up, Jotaro just doesn't have his anymore. Katara got it in the divorce." Kakyoin patted Jotaro on his sad, hatless head. Veronica was obviously intrigued.

"Ok, I would love to hear the tea on this whole divorce, but it still sounds like you're just a crazy person. Anyways, you're so DONE, KAKYIONYKINS." She snapped sassily (a la Avdol). Kakyoin's eyes narrowed with anger. More than anything, he hated being accused of being crazy. He hadn't broken out of the Arkham Institute for the Criminally Insane for nothing! Stepping forward, he looked straight at Veronica.

"Alright, I can prove the existence of my stand! But don't say I didn't warn you, when I win this fight easily!"

"What, you didn't warn me-" But it was too late. Kakyoin stood confidently, posing his iconic Kakyoin-pose. Veronica took a step back, realizing Kakyoin was about to attack her with his stand.

"No one can deflect the Emerald Splash, Veronica! Surrender now, and we'll let you walk away with your life! HIEROPHANT GREEN!"

Veronica looked around wildly for what sort of thing might attack her.

Hierophant Green heroically stumbled away from Kakyoin, incredibly drunk. It wandered towards her, barely walking in a straight line. It slapped her on the knee, then fell over. It didn't get back up. Veronica poked Kakyoin's drunken stand with a toe, then laughed.

"This is your stand? This is it? Lord Robert told me you were a bunch of ludacris fools, but I was expecting more of a fight! But he did also say you are helpless without the Messiah! Well, all the better for me, YOUGUYSYKINS! So long! I'm off to buy up all the businesses on Ember Island! Toodles!" Veronica clicked her heels together 3 times and POP! She was gone!

"NOOOO! MY HATT!" Jotaro fell to his knees. Good grief, he thought.

The second The Veronica Lodge departed, the sky began to clear, and the wind stopped. The Gaang could now fully see the vast damage their house had sustained, as it landed 400 meters away in the ocean. JET MURPHY must be in there somewhere, Katara thought to herself. He'll probably drown now; he can't swim.