Sometimes home is...

For a split second a gravely silence fell over the camp. Thorin's heart stopped only to beat twice as fast afterwards. She drank the tea. She drank the poison! His first impulse was to grab her and somehow force the drink out of her. Maybe holding her upside down or asking Oin for one of those disgusting herbal remedies would force it out.

Dwalin was faster in deciding what to do. With a swift motion he grabbed the mug from the hobbits hands and sent it flying over the fire. It shattered in the bushes.

Bewildered, the hobbit blinked, "that was my favorite mug, you know?" she pouted, arms crossed over her chest.

Oin handed her his own cup of tea and stopped Dwalin from throwing that one too.

"Hobbits are immune to poisons and toxins. They can eat almost every plant without fear," he explains to the other dwarrows.

Nori raised an eyebrow at that statement. This was a rather useful trait for a burglar. It would have come in handy for him on more than one occasion, if he would have been immune to poison. Without a doubt it would have made a lot of jobs easier.

Kili watched Bella in awe, nudging his brother. "See, I told you! She is not as gentle as she makes us believe! They must be secretly assassinating people and poisoning unwanted visitors with their delicious stews!"

Fili looked at his brother in confusion. "And they probably train in secret all kinds of fighting styles," he added rather sarcastically.

Kili nodded, not leaving Bella out of sight.

"Will you train us, mistress Baggins? We would tell no one else, I swear!"

"I – what? There is no secret training, hobbits are indeed gentle folk." Helpless she looked at the rest of the company.

Balin was the one to shush the princes. From his seat across the fire he eyed the hobbit in suspicion. There was something that she hid. May it be the fact that she knew their names before they arrived at her home, or that she not once seemed surprised while they raided her pantry and threw her dishes.

He had talked to his brother about her as he had talked to Thorin and the rest of the dwarrows. She was … strange. When he had the chance, he had watched Bella. One thing was clear, she was not what the wizard had told them. Balin hadn't spotted a single hint of her being uncomfortable about traveling, even though Gandalf described her to be a homely creature. She fulfilled the tasks given to her and talked to the members of the group without hesitation.

"Tell us, mistress Baggins, why did you come on this quest? I remember clearly that you refused to sign the contract. So why?" he asked.

It was the question they all wanted her to answer. The question she feared the most.

Nervous Bella took another sip from her new tea. She needed some time to think of a plausible answer. The king's advisor wasn't wrong to ask her.

"I – "she sighs deeply "I am not sure what exactly you want to hear from me." Chewing on her lips again she clang onto her tea.

Dwalin put his coat over her shoulders once more. The warmth was comforting, soothing. There was no way she could tell them about her 'situation' but if she would refuse to tell them anything they would most likely leave her behind.

"Stop that, you'll hurt yourself," grumbled a familiar voice next to her.

Thorin had approached her while thinking. As she turned her head in the direction of his voice, he was close. Too close. Surprised, she flinched away. He was staring into her eyes, before his gaze wandered down to her lips.

"Stop biting them," he rumbled.

Someone cleared his throat a bit louder than necessary, resulting in Bella jerking away from the dwarven king. Nervous, she put down her mug and brushed over her messy bun. Some curls were already escaping the leather string. Dwalin seated himself between his king and his newly won sister.

"I know you doubt me. As you know we hobbits are homely creatures of comfort. I miss my books, my armchair, and my garden. I miss my comfort and my home. But you don't have a home. It was taken from you. And that is the reason why I came with you. Because everybody deserves a home," Bella stares into the flames, not recognizing the teary eyes of the company as she continues, "there is a saying in the Shire: 'Sometimes home is a place in your heart. Sometimes home is someone. Sometimes all that you need seems so far. Sometimes it is right where you are. Sometimes home is a mere memory. Sometimes home is a mess. Sometimes it is not where you imagine it would be. Sometimes it is where laughter never ends.' A long, long time ago someone very special taught me that home is not where you come from, it is where you belong. Some of us travel the whole world to find it. Others find it in a person."

Tipping her head back she gazed at the starry night sky. Bittersweet memories of her time with 'her' Thorin came to mind. Conversations, hugs and stolen looks and one last kiss.

This wasn't her Thorin. He was not the one who died on the battlefield. He was not the one who kissed her.

"Did you find such a person?" It was an innocent question from an innocent dwarf.

"I did," Bella locked eyes with Ori, "long, long time ago. He was… well, he was…" she swallowed down the rising tears, averting her eyes. Sadness tightened her throat and her lips started to tremble ever so slightly, "to me he was…"

Silence once more lay over the camp. Thorin felt as if someone had hit him with a hammer. A numbness flooded his body. She had someone. She loved someone else. Strange, he didn't even like her. 'Liar'. He didn't care for her in the slightest. 'Liar'. He doesn't even – 'Liar! If that were true, why are you still watching her? Why does your heart break a little whenever she is in discomfort? Why does your heart skip a beat when she smiles?'

"You talk like an old lady… How old are you?" his nephew managed once more to lighten the mood.

"I am thirty-two, master Kili," she answered, looking once again into the flames.

Chaos erupted like a volcano. Fili spat his -not poisonous- drink onto his brother, who jumped up. Bofur choked on his pipe while Bombur tumbled backwards into Bifurs sculpting knife. With a yelp he jumps near the fire, sending a few burning sticks flying in all directions. Dori is more than shocked and gapes at Bella, reassuring himself that Ori is by his side as is Nori. He hugs them both tightly as to make sure they are still with him. Dwalin whirls Bella around while Thorin begins to furiously whisper with Balin.

"You can't be serious, lassie! My wee lad Gimly is older than you and even he had to stay at home! Almost demolished his room, angry as he was." Gloin fumed.

Bofur stopped coughing and looked at her nervously, "are you even allowed to drink wine? Mahal, we gave you ale!"

"Do you eat enough, lassie? Do you need another blanket? See, she should sleep nearer to the fire!" Dori fussed, starting to move her belongings and bedroll from the outer ring of their camp into the inner circle. Next to Dwalins bedroll, not far from Thorin and close to the fire so she wouldn't freeze in the night.

Nori looked like a wet cat. He had threatened a child! She was so young. Younger than Ori. Glancing at his brother he could read the shock in his face too. Ori didn't know either. The young scribe clenched his hands around the leather of his book.

"Eat up. You need it more than I do," Bombur handed her some biscuits from his pockets and rummaged through his pack, searching for more, he could spoil her with.

Dwalin started to grumble something about 'that godforsaken meddlesome wizard' and 'his schemes and games'. Even though he made a face, ready to kill, he ensured gently that the coat also covered her feet and refilled her empty mug with the rest of the hot tea.

Only then Bella realized that the wizard was absent. 'Strange, where would he have gone to?' There was still very much she had to think about.

Chuckling, she watched her dwarrows. In her last life it had never been an issue. They hadn't even talked to her for the first few months of their journey. To be fair, she also mostly stuck to Gandalf.

She had been afraid of the grim dwarrows. They talked about gold and mining, about diamonds, shaping them and their quality. The work of a blacksmith and various techniques of working with metal and wood. Frowning she turned around to the tattooed dwarf next to her.

"Dwalin, what does 'namad' mean?" The heated discussions and yelling died down once again.

Bella knew it was Khuzdul, the secret language of the dwarrows. She had never learned the language, even when Ori offered to teach her. She had been too afraid to learn. Too afraid to splinter her heart even further by knowing what 'amrâlimê' meant. Balin only sighed at her words. He looked tired and exhausted.

"Aye, you have a right to know. As expected my brother once again chose to act before talking. For dwarrows our craft is important. We take great pride in what we crafted. I know stories of families holding grudges over centuries because one called the others craft 'cheap'. Well, craft is our pride, but family, family is our greatest treasure."

Bella took a moment to watch the company. It was true, she realized, they all were family and put their kin before themselves.

"When a dwarf gifts an item crafted by his own hands and you accept it, you accept being family. For a dwarf, a woman is the biggest blessing. You must know, dwarrowdams are rare. We are protective of our family, but fiercely protective of our females. Every dwarf that has at least a bit of pride and honor in himself protects and respects women. Females have every right that male dwarrows have and no dwarf in his right mind would forbid a dam to do something or rob her of her choice," Balin concluded.

The rest of the company were all nodding in agreement. Bella never knew that they had a culture as advanced as this. In the Shire she would probably have been married in the next few years. She would bear children, cook and knit. She would've lived a respectable life.

The other hobbits had already deemed her mad for living alone in Bag End. In the Shire one also had to keep an eye on the gossip. She had restricted herself going on adventures after she had returned in her last life. She fought hard to become 'proper' and 'respected' again.

What a joke. What for? Why would anyone willingly give in their freedom to fit into the worldly picture of another? She had been mad for trying so hard.

"Wait, does that mean I married Dwalin? No offence, you would be a great partner. Though by hobbit standards Bombur would have been the ultimate catch! A cook with such an amazing figure. No doubt the ladies must have given you pastries while you visited the Shire?" Bella grined at the corpulent dwarf.

Bombur turned red at her words, while Bifur poked his stomach and Bofur grinned from ear to ear, imitating the high-pitched voice of a lady.

"Ohhh! You are a cook? How nice. And so attractive, are you not. Here, take this. Don't be shy, dear."

The company bursted into laughter.

Balin simply chuckled, "no, lassie. By accepting his gift, you became his sister. 'Namad' means sister."

"If he wanted to marry you, he first would have to court you and that would have been handled differently." Thorin grunted, somehow displeased.

"Different? In what way?" Interest sparked in her, distracting Bella from the war-drums in her head.

"Well, to court you he would have to craft an item with you in mind. This gift would first have been approved by your father or oldest brother. If he acknowledges the craftsmanship and approves of the dwarf, he would hand the gift to you. You then could reject his gift and give it back. That would indicate that you are not interested in courting that dwarf. If you reject the gift, but keep it, you encourage him to try again." Balin explains.

"Aye, it took me seventeen years to finally be accepted by my dear wife. She rejected me thirty-five times," interrupted Gloin with a dreamy expression on his face.

"And what if I accept his gift?" Bella asked again, burying herself further under Dwalins coat.

"In that case you would begin your courtship. You would give him something made by yourself with him in mind. Occasionally you two would be spending time together to get to know each other. With a chaperone that is. Exchanging gifts is an important part of courtship. Most likely the female will be showered in gifts, as they are rare, treasures of all treasures. If the dwarrowdams is happy with her choice she would ask the lucky dwarf to braid her hair and include his beed in the braid. She would do the same with his hair. Then the courtship would be official, and no other dwarf would have any right to intervene. Well, except for the family of the female that is. If they have the feeling that he treats you poorly they would call the courtship off and they would have every right to take his beard, shave his head and chase him to hell itself."

Bella looked around camp, only to find all her dwarrows nodding in agreement, a stoic determined expression on their faces.

"Now that you accepted my brothers' gift for you and he named you 'namad' , you are officially his sister. You are only his sister and not bound to me, as his brother by blood, in any way. If I wish to call you family I would have to gift you a craft of my own as well." The king's advisor reached for the cup in front of him, exchanging the tea for simple water.

The beating and drumming in her head grew stronger. Letting out a small whimpering sound Bella pressed one hand against her head. The tight bun was no help, so she opened the leather stripe and let her curls run free over her back. The tea helped her relax, but sadly it couldn't take the pain.

Closing her eyes, she leaned over to Dwalin – her brother! – and rested her head on his shoulder. Bella was tired. Her body ached all over from her own training and her head felt like a whole army was dancing a flamenco on her brain.

Dwalin was surprisingly comfortable. She would have guessed that he was hard as rock with all those muscles on him, but he was soft enough to function as a cushion. Apparently, he had told her the truth, dwarrows did run hotter than hobbits. He emitted a rather comforting warmth, lulling her into sleep.

Thorin flinched at the nearly soundless whimper and cursed himself instantly. With an indifferent expression he turns his head to the right. His hobbit – the company's burglar, he corrected himself, was leaning onto his best friend.

A sharp knife of jealousy stabbed into his heart. Then he reminded himself 'she is his sister, you have no reason to feel that way, you don't like her'. The pain remained. Turning back to continue his conversation with Balin, whatever the topic might have been, he found the whole lot staring at him.

Kili with a grin big enough to split his face. Fili wiggled his eyebrows, looking from his uncle to the hobbit and back. Balin only studied his face, announcing he would volunteer for the first watch. When he turned away Thorin could spot a knowing grin on his lips.

Bofur was busy collecting coins from his brothers. He had bet that the brooding king at least would find her less annoying after a month or two. He had never expected this, but a bet won was better than losing.

Nori leaned over to whisper something in Oris ear whereon the young dwarf turned bright red, hiding his face in his hands. Noris grin vanished when Dori hit him on the back of the head, reminding him of his manners. Gloin smiled at him, a dreamy look in his eyes. He was without a doubt thinking about his wife and their first meeting.

"Aye, it hits you like thunder," he nudged the healer, "no remedy for love, right brother?"

Thorin could feel his face heating up. He jumped up, angry at himself and the strange feelings the small creature sparked at him. 'Maybe he did drink some of the poison, that would be a reasonable explanation why his heart rate rose again when looking at her. That gentle, lovable, sweet- snap out of it for Mahals sake.

"We move at first light." He snaps, stomping past his snickering nephews, "rest as long as you can."

Dwalin looked after his king. He hadn't seen Thorin's reaction, too concentrated on not moving at all. For no reason he wanted to disturb his sister's rest. Proud he watches her breathing relaxed and deep. For her to fall asleep next to him makes his breast swell with pride. She trusted him enough to let down her guard, trusting him to protect her while most vulnerable.

"Move her to her roll, will ya. Otherwise she's going to have a stiff neck in the morning," Oin advised him.

Gently he picked her up, afraid to wake her, and carefully moved over to their sleeping rolls. Yet again, he is surprised how light she was, how small she looked in his arms.

"I'll protect you with my life, namad." He swore a silent vow to Mahal.

Kili dragged his brother away from the others. He was certain in his decision. He had told his brother what he had seen back in Bree. Holding up the little bells he looked at his brother. The blond prince looked down at the gleaming trinket. They had polished the bells, engraved tiny ornaments and fastened them onto a self-made hairpin. The metal gleamed in the low firelight like gold.

"Do you think she will like it?" Kili uttered.

"I hope so, brother. The way she reacted in the shop was weird, but maybe hobbits show joy differently?" Fili murmured back.

"And when she accepts she will teach us her secret fighting styles!" The younger Durin bounced excitedly.

"I doubt that she can even fight, Kili. Nonetheless there are a few things that don't completely line up. How did she know our names before we even arrived and why does she look at us with such deep pain and sadness in her eyes?" He asks more of himself than Kili.

"I don't think that she would betray us, if you fear that. She seemed to understand our pain of losing home. She understands us. I know it might sound weird, but I trust her. She is nice and kind. Bella might nor be our kin, but I know a treasure when I see one. She is such a treasure. She might even be a once in a lifetime treasure. Don't you feel it too, Fili? The warmth she sparks and the happiness she spreads? Even uncle seems to feel it."

"I know, Kili. I feel it too. She gives me peace and presents me with laughter. I would love nothing better than calling her sister. It is strange, but she feels like home, like something long lost. Something I never knew, but still oddly familiar," Fili sights deeply.

"We should go to bed too," Kili yawns, tucking away the bells and moving to his bedroll.

Fili remained a moment longer, thinking about the hobbit. She was an odd one. Within only a few months she had befriended the company, enchanted them with her kindness. Dwarrows were loyal creatures, open about their feelings, well except his uncle, and when they decided on liking a creature or not only Mahal might have been able to change their minds. The lass didn't even know what she had attracted with her just being herself. One thing was written in stone, Bella wouldn't get rid of them any time soon.