Chapter five

'Why isn't auntie Nat eating with us?' Nathaniel asks as the four of them have dinner. After Clint got over his shock and walked back to the house, he noticed Natasha wasn't downstairs. He could hear a door upstairs closing softly. And as his three kids were all downstairs that could only mean that Natasha went upstairs, to her room and wasn't planning on coming down anytime soon.

'She's not feeling well, buddy', Clint replies as he ruffles his son's hair. The rest of dinner is nice. Nathaniel doesn't stop talking about his day at school. Lila shows him a match test she aced and Cooper talks about his soccer practice. It feels nice. Normal. But as soon as all three of them are in bed and asleep his thoughts go to his red haired best friend. He lies on the couch as he lets his mind wander.

He can't deny that he's never thought of them together. The way they seem to understand each other. How they complete each other. And he's always been mesmerised by her. She's undeniably beautiful. With her fierce red hair and bright green eyes. He feels privileged by how much she trusts him. He feels pride whenever she confides in him. How she shows him, and only him, her emotions. He loves the way she fits in his arms. How her hand fits in his. How she smiles at him whenever he enters the room. But he never thought too long about a romantic relationship with her. He's not the type of man to leave his wife for another woman.

But ever since Thanos, since his family turned to ashes, he sometimes thought of Natasha as a woman he could love. Romantically. But he never let his mind wander for too long as he could never imagine Natasha would feel the same way. And then tonight happened. And when she said what she dreamed, the scared and confused look in her eyes and the fact that she hasn't come out of her room makes him rethink it.

Natasha is still in her room, lying in her bed, having the worst conflict with herself. Because ever since Laura appeared in her dreams she started looking at Clint differently. Especially since Laura wished for her to be happy with Clint. Natasha doesn't know if it's real or if it's just a fucked up mind trick but it does make her wonder. Could Clint be a man that could make her happy? She's lying to herself if she says that he doesn't already. Because he does. The moment he spared her life and they became friends he'd been the only person who had ever made her feel somewhat happy. And through years of working together their trust in each other built. They understood each other in a way neither of them had ever experienced.

Natasha can't help but think of the way he can smile at her when they secretly look at each other when other people are around. She remembers how safe she feels whenever he holds her close to him. The way he smells like aftershave and soap. She even likes the way he smells after a fight. How warm his lips feel in those rare moments he kisses her forehead. She loves the feel of his strong fingers in her hands or arms. She can't imagine another person whom she would open up to. To share her deepest emotions. Her deepest fears. Her happiest moments.

She can't help but feel utterly terrified. If they start a relationship there's always the risk of screwing this up. Chances are she'll screw up badly. And the one thing she is most afraid of is losing Clint. Just the idea of losing him as her friend makes her upset. What would she do if he leaves her? Then she'll be all alone in this world. Just like she was when she was a child. Memories of her loneliest moments flood her mind and she realises that she hasn't felt truly alone since she met Clint.

She's pulled out of her thoughts as she hears a soft knock on the door. By the knocking she knows it's Clint. Instead of calling out for him to come in, she gets up and opens the door herself. He seems a little startled to see her standing there.

'Can we talk? Please', he pleads. She can't deny him anything at this moment. His gorgeous blue eyes full of worry and fear stare straight into her soul. And it's this moment where she allows herself to fall head over heels in love with him.